Inchcock: Friday 23rd September 2022

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03:25hrs: I so reluctantly stirred. I battled the willpower telling me to get up and get the ablutions sorted out. But I still rose delicately onto my feet and hobbled into the kitchenette and got the kettle on.
I recalled taking a decent photo yesterday of the morning view – whether or not I did is in question. Anyway, crossing my fingers that the Lumix will still be working, I selected an option for the SCN choices for a nighttime starry scene. Unbeknownst to me, it then told me to wait for 30 seconds after taking the photo and not to move the camera. Haha! Me, hold anything still for 30 seconds with Peripheral Neuropathy? Not a cat in hell’s chance! But I did my best and had hopes of it coming out alright. As you can see above, it didn’t! So I shot the next effort in Auto-setting.
Not so bad, but should have been better. a smidge disappointing.

I got the teeth, shaving and showering done. All went well, with no problems.
The body temperature was high again, a new highest ever, I think. 36.2°f. Mmm?
SYS at 144, DIA 71 and Pulse at 85 bpm. It looked like this was going to be another low; I put the figures into the NHS assessment site.
In the res, I didn’t expect that. I thought it was a certainty to go in the High-Normal Amber zone.

But, No! It was in Hypertension – 1. But only just, so it’s still better than recently. So, things, apart from the temperature, were looking good for once. In fact, looking at the graph, an improvement.
I got the waste bags made up.
Then sorted the waste out of the three-wheeled-walker trolley. On the computer, and found I’d received a comment on a blog. Replied to it, stopped computering, and got some suitable clothing on ready for the trip to Bulwell.
  ♫ Oh, Susana rang forth from the door chime, and in walked Carer Jodie ♫. She looked at the Blood Pressure Health Check chart. And gave me another Temperature check, which was higher than the earlier one, at 36.70°f! So, she gave me a Covid Test. Nope, I’m Covid-free. A little concerned about these high temperatures of the last couple of days? Particularly with it being low every time for the last two years and four months! Gave Jodie some

I thought I’d check everything to take again… not that I’m over-forgetful, a ditherer, waverer, vacillator, or dimwit. I was so pleased; over-the-moon with the Lumix working. Now I can take snaps of the riverside, the birds, the Market Place today. I was almost getting gregarious. I took a photo from the window, but nothing showed on the screen. My heart sank, so tried again, several times to take pictures, each one to no avail!
The day just went down to level three in the pissed-off stakes! I put the camera b battery on charge and had to leave it at home. Time to rush out for the Link minibus. Not in a good mood now!

The driver was looking rather annoyed as I stumbled out from the foyer on the ground floor. But he did not moan at me; bless him. We were pulling up at the Riverside Complex car park; it seemed to me in no time. Of course, I spent the journey nattering, and he couldn’t hear a word I was saying. A shame that!

Of how I wished that I had the camera with me. As I walked into Bulwell, the birds around the river Leen bank were bounteous and beautiful. I’d have loved to have taken some photos.
Over the next hour and a half, I visited three stores, and I got a carrier bag of this and that from each one. B&M, Heron, and Iceland.
Spent a bit!

Had I got the camera, I could have photographed the shop that I worked in back in 1962, a travel agent now.
The butcher’s van with tons of meat on show. Most likely horses, judging by the cheap prices he was asking. Hehehe!
The river Leen, not so many people around, and the fancy ducks and birds had abandoned the place to the many pigeons. Which is to who I fed the seeds.
A fist fight near the no longer open toilets on the other side of the road between two blokes, the shorter man had a good upper-cut. It was broken up before any police arrived… mind you, that’s not surprising in Nottingham. Three women sorted them out, and the bloke wandered off and into the pub together, laughing it looked like?

On my hobble to the Centre to catch the bus, there were an awful lot of escooters flying about and some damned dangerous disability scooter riders!

The good news? Was that was as good as gold to me. And  I did a fair bit of hobbling around with three heavy food-filled bags hanging on the trolley, too.
At the centre, I sat down near the end door to and from the car park… When I say sat down, I mean clumped down! I really didn’t see how low they were, and I think , burst a few papules… well, I know he did. Tsk!

The minibus came dead on time; it was Beryl who lifted me last Friday. Bless her. Likes a natter, my sort of gal. I don’t know her real name. Enjoyed the lift home. Bade farewell and off inside the foyer of the flats. Where neighbour Josie launched into Sherlock Holmesian mode. Where have you been? Did you meet anyone? You’ve bought more food? Do you need it? Hold on, I’ll come up with you… Did you get yourself some bananas?

I was slightly dazed when I got into the flat. Hahaha!
A drop of rain fell, but it only lasted for a few seconds.
I got the things put away and ended up with a mightily cramped-up load of fridge contents.
I think you must have noticed that the Lumix was working again? !
Definitely, I won’t need any substituted and short-dated food delivery for a few days or longer! I will have to ask Carer Richard to check the dates on the stuff in the fridge on Monday. Since I can no longer read many of the smaller-printed dates on such a lot of the things in there.

I’ll be spoilt for choice for a few days now.
I did manage to get some of the drinks from B&M.
I got a few non-alcoholic drinks of different types for the Carers and Nurses. A can of Mango Juice, one of Grape Juice. A couple of bottles of Coke signature drinks, which are Smoke flavoured? Cans of Rhubarb & Gin with Ginger Ale and a Passion Fruit Martini!

Then things got back to normal. Huh! The Link Service called me to tell me that they are picking me up tomorrow, at 07:55hrs. To go to the doctor. Needless to say, I’d forgotten all about this. I’m not sure if it is the Memory Test, Severe Frailty Check or the Flu Jab?
I thanked her kindly and checked the date on the calendar. Hmm! I’ve also got the Chiropodist at 11:15hrs. Oh, dear…
Then WordPress played up. And half of the screen was taken up with telling me the LinkedIn link needed updating. But it wouldn’t let me!
④  Kicked off with his noises again Concentration was hard enough without that uncommunicative, unamicable, unneighbourly, superior-natured, snotty, gits banging about!
⑤  Then I realised I did not have enough cash to pay for the bus in the morning!
Huh! I only dropped the spring water bottle, and it landed right on big toe!
Suddenly I realised it was a Saturday tomorrow. (I can be sharp sometimes) The problem is, most Saturdays… well, all of them, Carers come much later in the day. So I’ve now got to talk t.o whichever Carer comes tonight (Not always an easy task). And explaining that I needed them earlier tomorrow.
Life is not easy when one gets older and is on their own! Problems that cannot be solved. I bet you they let me down in the morning, and I have to go to the doctor without taking my medications? That is, if I can solve the shortage of money to pay for the minibus with – if I can’t, the whole day is going to be a further problem-bringing nightmare!
I’ve gone from almost contented to depression in ten minutes!

Blimey! The Carer is due anytime now.
Just started to eat the meal, and ♫ Oh Susana ♫ rang out. had arrived, and I had to explain the cock-up with the doctor’s appointment timing. He rang into his Meridian Care HQ and told them. The man said: “You are getting an outside Carer tomorrow, so they should be early. It would have been better to have informed us earlier…” If he thought about who he was dealing with for a moment, someone with Vascular Dementia who has had all the appointments changed on him by the surgery twice, he may have found it unnecessary for sarcasm.

I ate the three-quarters of the now cold meal left, washed the pots and took these evening shots from the kitchenette window 

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I used two different modes to see which was best. Naturally, I forgot to write them down so I’m none the wiser
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Thursday 22nd September 2022: Cartoon, Ode & Diary

THURSDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON
Inchies Ode Of The Day
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That’s all the photos, mates.
Unless I can sort out the Lumix later.
But I’m not up to much, not a good day.
Esther the cleaner just charged me £20 for doing the washing. And I caught her helping herself to at least one 1½ bottle of Spring Water. No idea if anything else is gone.

She seemed totally unconcerned about me seeing her?
No wonder she can afford to go for a four-week holiday to see her family in South Africa.

I am not up to challenging her at the moment. Wonder if she’s fiddling with any of the other residents, as well?

I’ll get something to eat now. I’m not feeling up to much still. But at least the shakes have eased off. I’ll have to do the Morrisons short-dated Parmentier spuds and a roast vegetable risotto, methinks.
Must sort out the shower and shave before the Carer arrives later on.
Then I can get the trolley sorted out with the bags and paperwork for in the morning and get the togs ready. I shan’t use the sock glide tonight, hopefully, I can cope with it in the morning easier.
Oh, I’ve got the potato cubes in the oven. In 25 minutes, I can get the Risotto in the microwave. I’ll have a go at the Lumix again. Not that I know what I did to lose it in the first place or have the foggiest idea how to get it back working.

Fell asleep, uncomfortably waking with Thought Storms raging so often; it got to me, I made the meal. Took a snap of it, but it didn’t show on the viewer or card. In the morning, to my amazement, the meal one was on the DS card, none of the others I’d taken, mind you. They’d gone off into the ether.

Overdid it by a wide margin quantity-wise.
But ate most of it, put ray down and drifted of to sleep again.
Until Care Cheeky Charlie arrived, full of the joys of spring.
As she got the medications sorted out, she took my temperature.

My temperature has never been so high in years! 36.1°f!
She selected a drinkie and a nibble. And reminded me to lock the door as she departed. Bless her!
I slept on and off until 03:15hrs.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow… Please!

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 21st September 2022

WEDNESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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03:40hrs: Another shooting awake, the arms jounced, and slowly the brain woke up as well. The only thing it was interested in was my hastening to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did!
No injuries or Accifauxpas en route; I got settled in the regulation position, and the evacuation began. I should think it was 80% putrid air and 20% of watery kaki-coloured liquid, with a few bloblets of the expected stuff mixed in.
Not too messy it didn’t spurt out. No bleeding.
Again, I thought, well, I’m in here now; I’ll get the ablutions tended to. most another bit of the left back double molar again… I don’t know how it hasn’t all gone by now; the number of times I lose a chunk of it?
I took extra care with the shaving this time. A couple of tin nicks, no bother.
Ah, there were some difficulties here. The Germoloiding of Harrolds Haemorrhoids went perfectly smoothly, with minimum pain of any sort. Then, the Phorpain gelling was more or less in the same style. Then, for some reason, the applicationing of the
Daktacort can only be described as horrendously painful. I stopped as soon as I felt that much pain in such a delicate area. And went to fetch the magnifying glass to see if I could find a use-by date in the tube or box. Nope, couldn’t see one anyway. I went to the medical drawer in the kitchenette and ferreted about for another tube. None left! I must ask Richard or Deana to order some for me.
A smothering of Germolene in place was tried. Totally-ineffective. I dare not use what bit of Daktacort that was left in the tube, so threw it away.
Then, the Danger of the Day, so far, had to be faced. 

Of course, I wasn’t worried at all; a heroic man with so many ailments is not going to let a plastic-coated finger-crunching, blood-letting thing like metal Sock Glide intimidate me. Well, more than suspected!
I got through it and got the socks on. A plaster on the trapped bleeding finger was all I needed this time. Freshened up my wobbly short-overweight body with antiperspirant spray and aftershave. Got dressed and tackled the next job, the .
Back down again! SYS 137. DIA 72, Pulse 78 bpm, and body temperature a good return at 34.3°f.
Back in the High-Norm amber area. I suppose a being shown is okay?
The second lowest rating I’ve ever recorded! Now I shall be looking to get in the green soon… Hehehe!

Was banging about above early again, around 06:00hrs. He must be making things for Christmas pressies early, mayhaps? Come think of it, I reckon he was noisy late at night and early mornings this time last year? I may be wrong, of course. ♫ It’s not unusual for Inchcock to be wrong… ♫

I got the computer on, and many comments on my blogs were received. It was from Bill, so I answered him. Off to make a mug of Thompson’s Punjana, and I took this morning shot of the view from the kitchen window. Not exactly awe-inspiring, is it?

I went back to the computer and checked the Emails.

Morrison and J Sainsbury’s had set a list of their substitutions and not available goods in today’s orders to be delivered.
Not good, is it? Still, I can give away the Tikka substitute; Deana might like them. The tomatoes should be okay. It’s funny how they always send dearer than the original substitutions.
JS had done even worse than Morrisons; that takes some doing. Same thing, dearer substitutes.
But they failed to tell me that the cheaper chilli cans I’d ordered were going to be substituted with a lot dearer ones! Humph! Anyway, I started to get things stored away. The Imperfect Tasty Strawberries were one for Deana and one for Francis, who I hope she’s back from the hospital by now and feeling better. I’ll ask Deana later.
Ah, my treats to myself here! Vegetarian shepherd’s pie, roast potatoes, veggie pasta, and sliced potatoes (well, it cuts back on chopped fingers!). Seasoned fresh cut chips as well… Oh, and a new one to me, Silky Butternut Squash Risotto; no idea what it will taste like, but without trying it, I’ll never know. Did you see that? Words of Wisdom… from me! Hehehe! Beefburgers and pot noodles for Carer Richard. Some individually portioned sticky rice pots and substituted No Chicken Tikka Masala with rice. I tried the one I ordered cause I knew I was okay with sweet & sour sauce. But I’ve tried Tikka before and did not like it. Are J Sainsbury staff told to select lousy substitutions on purpose? Is not sweet & Sour Chinese? And Tikka Indian?

At least they didn’t send me a pot of brown shoe polish this time. I’m not joking; I ordered potato cakes once and got a shoe polish pad!
Still, the owner has just lost a family member, the Queen. So, say no more. At least Morrison’s managed to deliver my favourite ready meal of all time. Roast Vegetable Risotto. It’s cracking tasty! I always put just a drop of BBQ sauce with it. And the packet of mushroom risotto I had yesterday, I think it was, was grand.
This is a loaf got the Wardens, cause it keeps fresher longer… someone told me.
I got some brown cobs for me from Lord Sainsbury: J Sainsbury plc is the parent company of Sainsbury’s Supermarkets Ltd, the third largest chain of supermarkets in the UK, with a 16.4% share of the market.
As of 2021, the largest overall shareholder is the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar Royal Family Investment Authority, which holds 14.99% of the company. It is listed on the London Stock Exchange and is a constituent of the FTSE 100 Index. The chain’s annual report shows that chief executive Simon Roberts picked up £2.8 million in bonuses for the year to March 5, on top of his £878,000 a year salary and other benefits. His mammoth pay deal includes a £1.7 million annual bonus and £1.1 million in long-term incentive scheme shares. Shame no one there knows the difference between a Chinese meal and an Indian one. Just thought I’d mention it! Not that I have anything against the Indians, they have my greatest respect and admiration. It’s just that their food does not sit well with me. Where was I?

Oh, yes… These were some of the giveaway items. I bought a few trays of fluffy rice. I just thought Deana might like one to try. Hope she likes Tikka.
She did call later after I’d got everything put away… Ah, something else I forgot to mention… A pack of six 1 litre Spring Water was delivered today; luckily, it was the first thing I moved into the kitchen from the blocked by food doorway. I felt the leaking water running down my leg onto the carpet; I then dropped the bottles when I got into the kitchen. What a mess I got into, and cleaning it up was no fun!
I lost the plot there… Sorry.
I put the flowers on the trolley, ready for when Deana or Julie, or both, came to see me about the lift for Friday.
Richard told me Deana would be calling today to see me. Which she did.

She told me she’s arranged for the lift on Friday to be for 10:00hrs So, hopefully, I can get to the B&M store to get some of the canned drinks that the Carers took to. I got some last week… no, a fortnight ago. But they all went first, but  I just cannot remember what they were called. When I see the cans, I’ll know, He says… Hehehe!
Onto the computer to make a start on this blog at long last.

♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ Hello, who’s that? It was Esther, after her six-week break visiting her family in South Africa for two weeks, that turned out to for four more. Can’t blame her! She’s calling tomorrow to do the laundry. She asked for a pen so she could write a note to another customer and post it through his door – I made sure I got the pen back this time! Hehe! 

I believe the sudden fatigue is coming back again now. 14:00hrs?
I’ll get a vegetable risotto in the microwave and add one bay-sized fluffy rice after three minutes, so they are ready at the same time. A drop of BBQ sauce will be added after cooking. This week I shall try harder to avoid any burnt fingers or dropped items when struggling to get the lid off of the trays.
The foods were both nearly ready. I made up a pot of Idaho instant mash with bubble & squeak, adding some extra-strong grated cheese and a quirt of my made-up to the bottle of liquid salt & distilled vinegar to the pot. Added a mini-pot of lemon mousse to the tray and got into the recliner to feast!


I had a cough and thought I saw some specs of blood in the tissue, well, the paper towel I used.
The meal was cooling as I checked the nose and mouth. Nowt to fret over, but puzzlingly all the ulcers in the gums seem to have erupted at the same time. I didn’t realise I’d got so many pustules in the gums. As for why this happened, I remain, as ever nowadays, confused.
Finally, I began the feast, ’cause that’s what it was, and even though I’ll let it cool more than I meant to, it was delicious! A Taste-Rating of 9.3/10!

I put the tray on the Carers desk next to the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner. And drifted of with a satisfied stomach into a wonderful – but short-lived, dream-filled sleep.
♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chimed out and brought me rudely to a state of semi-wakefulness. Blow it; I can’t remember her name now. Humph! She apologised for being late and mentioned how rushed she was. She soon got the medications sorted; and, with what seemed a reluctance, ask if there was anything else. There was, but she seemed so pressed I didn’t mention anything. A nice gal, I told her to pick a treat on her way out.
I think I was about to nod off again when I remembered I’d not locked the door. So, I locked it


Turning back from locking the door, I thought I’d have a look through the spy hole – which proved near fatal. Hehe! I twisted my back as I turned again, setting off poor and, at almost the same time, stubbed my toe on the three-wheel walker guide wheel… but I’d not finished yet. Oh, no!
Cursing my bad luck under my breath, and went into the wet room for a wee-wee and apply some Phorpain gel to Shirley. And walked into the doorframe, hit the shoulder, stopped, and automatically pee’d in my PPs, and I felt like crying. But I resisted it, after all being the heroic, stoic, brave, strong young man that I am…
At least Bladder-Belinda’s sudden leak came when I was in the wet room.
I evacuated the remaining few drops of urine from Bladder-Belinda. Stripped off and had a good clean-up. Germoloided Harold’s Haemorrhoids,
And got the crap, not very effective  MedPhorpainPhorpain gel, rubbed into my back as best that I could get at. Surprisingly, the toe stinging started to ease off?
Got some fresh PPs on, the Depend brand that had coped admirably well with Bladder-Belinda’s earlier escaping mini-torrent. was left until last. Because the shoulder charge on the wet room doorframe had set her off shuddering away, but now she had calmed down.
It took me so long to sort things out that by the time I was leaving the wet room, the and , were of little bother now.
Of course, now I had to rely on to get me through the doorway without any . Easy-peasy! I think that when I go going into the room and the light blaring at my eyes is why there are more walk-intos than when leaving the wet room?

A momentary Sherlock Holmesian conclusion there?Haha!

I got settled into the c1968 recliner seat…
Tired out, with Thought STorms to compete,
My mood was just a tad downbeat,
Thought of the Risotto… that was a treat!
Cramps now, in the fingers, legs and feet!
I must be getting closer to the scrapheap,
Losing my battle for peace and sleep…
My life seems full of things grossièreté!
Don’t know when, but I got nodded off alreet…
Dreamt I was on holiday; it looked like Crete?
2:55hrs, I sprang wide awake. Did I oversleep?
Asleep only five minutes, I could weep!

MORNING ALL!

Saturday Diary & Ode: 17th September 2022

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To my cyber-buddy and fellow none-fitter-innerer Billumski!
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I think I had more sleep last night than I have in any week! Sadly, it was all in bits and pieces, broken by being woken and my habit of straying off doing things after I’d needed one of the several wee-wees. Also, some persistent Thought-Storms of an aggressive nature.

But I returned to the doubtful comfort of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner; after each hobble about, or moving things around for no reason, and rearranging of a food cupboard. Why? I anticipate finding other things that I may well have done in my noctambulations later on.

I lay there, pondering over this and that, and anything and the bowels decided to try and evacuate the inner product of its own accord… There followed a sequence of events that were events that were worthy of the Comedy Sketch of a Year Award. I thank heavens there are no CCTV cameras in this flat!

①: I fumbled and bumbled my way up onto my feet; crumbs, the TV remote and a part-eaten packet of pistachio nuts hit the floor and spread all over the carpet..
②: No time for the waking-up to catch my balance routine, I grabbed Metal-Micky, and on the first imitation step, I found one of the pistachio nuts with my left foot.
③: So, as I crumpled onto the floor, my right knee found another escaped Pistachio nut!
④: I went through some pain getting up again, and was only concerned at that moment with getting to the in time… The narrow hallway walls sustain me getting into the wet room, for Metal Micky was laying somewhere in the front room wherever it was, I’d dropped him in the tumble.
⑤: The fight to get the pyjamas down delayed me and caused more panic; I tore them, in the end, to get them down quicker…
⑥: To no avail, I fear! The bladder and bowels won this one! They both started before my bum got down on the plastic .
⑦: At least things were over quickly, but they left me with I don’t know how long to put right and clean up the wet room, then the exit points had to be cleaned and medicated. Fortunately, I keep a supply of the PPs and large kitchen towels with the Germolene and Germolids to hand in the wet room. Along with the aftershave and plasters to steady any shaving cuts or leaks from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion while I’m doing the ablutions.

I can’t understand why now; no doubt it made sense at the time, but I felt a little smug at coping with these embarrassments and decided to get the done while I was in there.
The right knee was not in good shape after its attack on the Pistachio nut earlier. Hehe! in shaving, left me using the plasters and the aftershave to stop the bleeding! Little Inchies Lesion was not leaking; all were okay!   Oh, and the hair at the lower back of the head come neck is definitely growing again – white! I shaved it off.
After getting things all sorted, new PPs and socks (that were a hell of a job to get them on!) on, The right knee was now very tender!  I packed the affected PPs in the disposal bag and returned to get Metal Micky from the recliner room…
When I got back in the room, I thought I’d had burglars! I’d cleared the shelf above the electric fire of all the rubbish, and that had joined the crumbs and food on the carpet! Making it worse, a bottle of disinfectant I keep there for the wee-wee bucket had lost its cap when it got knocked over!
I’d also like to know how I managed to get Metal Micky left right in the corner her the bookcase? I think it would a physical impossibility, surely? Anyway, it was hard enough trying to retrieve it; I had to climb over the many fallen object to get to it – so I used the long picker-upperer. Cunning that, I thought!
I got Micky back with the stick and was almost on the verge of congratulating myself as I turned around and against the shredder. Another flipping moment!

I stopped doing everything. And mountaineered my way to the recliner, resisting crying, and just sat down and spoke to myself as calmly as I could… “This is not a good start. Fair enough, the bladder and bowels are out of your control, as are your fingers, feet, legs, shoulder etc… no good getting depressed, mate; it’s just how it is. What you need is some help when things like this happen. I agreed with myself, called myself a pratt, and did my belated balance exercise.
At this point, I noticed the clock… that was on the floor with all the other jetsam and flotsam – I checked with my watch, and they both indicated it was only 04:30hrs! Christ, what time did I get up then?

I swore to take things calmly from here on today. And tackled the mammoth job of cleaning and sorting things out in the room. I’m not saying I didn’t have a few moments of self-pity cause I did feel sorry for myself once or twice. But found the determination to just press on with the sorting. No rushing, doing it quietly. I got something out of it at the end of the task, I’d got three waste bags full of rubbish to go to the chute. Hahaha! Somehow or other, I perked up a smidgeon, too! It was well gone eight O’clock by the time I’d sorted the mess. Then I made a prayer for it not to happen again for a while, please.

It then dawned on me… the Morning Carer had not been yet? Quick as a flash, I realised it was a Saturday, so no fretting. Meridian was very late arriving last Saturday as well. They do have trouble getting staff at the weekend, it seems. Moments later, a call came in through the landline, and it was from Meridian.
The lady told me that the Carer was outside and could not get in. I took it as she was outside the building and told her to press the intercom 72 and I could let her in… then I thought I’d better check, and I inquired if she was outside the door or the flats? But the lady did not know. I said I’d get my walking stick and go have a look. Got the Wooden Wilmer stick, and I went to the door.
The Carer was outside of the flat door, complaining because she could not get the key lock code to work. I smiled gently, using one of my calming half-smiles, and told her I can’t either! And broke into a broad grin. That did it, I think; I caught her heart!   Hahaha! I explained that the door was not locked; sometimes, I forget to unlock it, but not often. If she presses this button, pointing out the door chime, I will hear it, but not anyone knocking on the door. I’m deaf, senile and decrepit, but that can’t be helped. She did larf! I liked her straight away.

Her name was Sinead, not seen before. I think she was from another assignment somewhere else; that’s why she was late, getting me added to her list. Nice gal, we had a little chinwag. She said she’d come again if she got the chance.

Well, I’ve still not done the Health Checks yet, better get them done. The last time I did them later in the day, the figures were down, so here’s hoping.

Well, that didn’t help much, doing it late, did it? Ah, well, as a part of my commitment to resist swearing, feeling sorry for myself and keeping calm, all I can say is: Hey-Ho!

Time to sort out something for dinner; no bother making up my mind today; I’ve a fancy for some chips and a veggie burger! The chips are oven ones that claim to be vegan. looking forward to trying them.
and Yet again, the photo I took of the meal has evaporated into the ether! I’d love to know how this happens; cause I took a look at it after shooting it and was pleased with the result. Come the morning, when I uploaded the last few photographs, there it was gone! Grrr!
The chips looked very tattie and were thick-skinned, but I did enjoy them all the same. Taste-Rating: 6.5/10.

Arrived, it was Sharon; I knew her name the second she told me after I asked her what it was! (Dementia Doreen again!) She didn’t stay long, but we managed a mini-natter before she chose her treats and departed.

Washed the pots, locked the door and a rinse, and made for the warmth of the rickety c1966 recliner. I feared that I may not be able to get back to sleep and put the telly on… but could I find anything worth watching? No!
I mused over which DVD to watch. Whilst doing so, I drifted off into Sweet Morpheus’ land… Nice!

Two hours later, I woke in desperate need of a wee-wee! The memories of this morning’s facial, embarrassing and painful events came flooding back.
Would I make it to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in time without any more Accifauxpas? again, but I got things flowing without any disasters.
Stopping it flowing was the problem! The went on and on… I was almost tired out by the time it ended. Hehehe! I did have a mini during the leaking, but it only lasted for seconds – !

I felt the warm wet sensation when I pulled up the PPs. So, off I limped with Metal Micky to change the pants and clean up.
As I entered the wet room,
I stubbed my toe against the vicious, blood and bruise-bringing, metal, agony-to-use, brutal
!
I’m sure she had moved from this morning; I thought I’d put her safely out of the way behind the mop bucket… I’m sure I did! Now, she was near the sink? Obviously, the work of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me! Or maybe .

That was the end of any thoughts of getting back to sleep again!

Inchcock Today Wednesday 14th September 2022

POLITICAL CARTOON
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Sad, innit? Hehehe!
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I stirred into ersatz life around 0315hrs, in need of a wee-wee. By the time I’d caught my balance and was up on my feet grabbing Metal-Mickey, another need arose, that of the , and I made my way to the wet room,
I managed to give my right big toe a stubbing of excellent quality, pain-wise. On the end of the open door from the front room. Dropping Metal-Micky, which knocked a photo off of the corner unit and broke the glass of the frame!
I just had to sort the mess out there and then. I had a terribly hard job picking up all the glass while hoping and praying my efforts would be successful in containing or retaining the torpedo that was getting anxious to be freed!
I got it cleaned up, the photo back loosely in the frame. With Back-Pain-Brenda giving me some gip, I dare not hobble in the usual fashion, so I shuffled as speedily as I could manage to the awaiting closet.
  Got into the landing position for the seat, dropped the stick, and then whipped down the jammie bottoms and PP’s in one go; and plunk! I’d not even hit the plastic before the evacuation began.
After a few seconds, there was a worrying hold-up that needed some input on my behalf to get things moving again. Once I got through that snag, things went smoothly again and were not as painful as usual. A few specks of blood from Harolds Haemorrhoids, I reckon, the blood, what bit there was of it, did not have runniness that Little Incies Fungal Lesion shoots out.
The hot water was running better today. Still not like it used to be, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Made up two waste bags; most of the contents were from last night’s farcical series of & last night when I was making the worst ever mess of cooking an uneatable meal. I cringed when I wrote that, remembering all the mistakes I made doing it! I got Richard’s treats ready, not those in the fridge, too early.

Got the computer on, and the mind did it again… I had to sit there, totally incapable of gathering my thoughts or concentration. This happens now and again; I thought maybe it did last night when I was making the meal?

Notwithstanding, within a few minutes, the problems started with WordPress. It would not show the comments on the site page again. Which meant going through the comments tag, which offers no ‘Like’ button, and I always like to use that. Humph!

Nokia

Scam Text!

Around 05:00hrs, I got sa message on the mobile. An odd hour to get one of these, I thought… I heard the new louder tone I’d selected the other day, but could I find the phone? No! Well, not for what seemed like an hour of searching for it, Hehehe! I eventually gave up, and when I got back to the computer after searching each of my three rooms and clothes in the hallway, and knocked the pen off of the desk, got the picker-upperer to retrieve it and – spotted the phone in my slipper? Why I didn’t look there first, I don’t know… Hehehe! I’d love to know how and why it ended up on the slipper. But it will remain a Dementia Doreen’s secret, as a part of the mysteries and enigmas of Woodthorpe Court! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for me to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and baffle me!
I was so annoyed when I opened the message; It was one I’d been having for a year or two. ‘You have been in contact with a confirmed Covid case. Ring this number…’ Grrr! Scammers!

Arrived, looking a little weary the lad was. But we chatted away merrily… well, some of it wasn’t so merry. I told him of my frustration at WordPress not allowing me access to the comments and told him the problems it gave me.

He tried to help as best he could in between his yawnings. But between us, we got more lost with it. Hehehe! Gave him his treats; if anyone deserves them, Richard does. He always goes further in trying to help than any other Carers do. Bade Richard farewell, and I made a brew of Glengettie. There’s a story to this mug of tea: I put the kettle on and saw I was low on teabags in the caddy. So, went into the cupboard to get some more Glengettie out to fill the caddy. And found two tea bags that had fallen at the back. They were round ones, so not Thompsons. They had to be Glengettie, Co-op 99, or J Sainsbury extra-strong. Funny, how can one get distracted by little pointless things like this? I thought I’ll use one now, but it fell to pieces as I picked it up – Gawd, I thought, how long has that been there? I sniffed the other one, which smelt like a Glengettie to me, and made a brew with it; I’ll know by its taste. It was a Glengettie! Amazing how long they last, innit? Lost none of strength or bitterness that is usual with Glengettie. Just thought I tell yer…

Got the Tuesday blog finished and posted. Then made a start on today’s Ode. Got it finished and doctored, then got carried away, adding to the ode-word list… I can’t help it; I love words.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang from the doorbell. I thought it might be Josie bringing the Sunday lunch tray and things back; thank heavens she’s not left it till later and woke me up again. But no, it wasn’t Josie! I opened the door, and there were some homegrown tomatoes on the floor… which had to be Jenny donating to me.
Always have a tangy taste bite to them, these that Jenny gives me. She knows I love them. Bless her.
I checked on the condition of the sourdough bread from yesterday.
I immediately, and that’s fast for me; I decided to have the bread, well buttered, and tomatoes for lunch… tea or dinner… maybe supper today.

I was late again in getting the done. This could have been that with doing them late yesterday and the graph going into the amber, I’d subconsciously left it late again? I got out the thermometer and started sphygmomanometerisationing.

Well, it was only a thought. Hehehe!
Back up to the danger reds level two, Hypertension stage.
SIA 169, DIA 75, Pulse 78 or 8, and the Body Temperature at 3.34°f.

This up and down is bothering me a smidgeon. I did mention it to the Doctor  I got no suggestions or instructions. In fact, I got no response at all.
It’s being so popular that’s keeping me going, you know! Haha!

I’ve started to keep a new record of the once-daily readings on Excel. It doesn’t look too good, just the two in the green
results over four days. Mmm! Hehehe! It’ll change soon; it always does; you watch, then a day or two later, it’ll shoot up again.

Time to get the bread and tomatoes prepared, methinks.
Bootiful clouds out there when I was slicing the tomatoes, slicing and buttering the bread and getting some chips in the oven. Luckily I have several plasters to pick from when I cut the finger.

I got the chips in the oven and spread some imitation butter on the slices of sourbread. Cut the tomatoes and went to do a J Sainsbury order for next week… but… Hard to believe, I know.


Obviously, Liberty-Global, Virgin Media supremo Mr Fries, has not managed to go four days without the signal going down. Still, as long as he gets his paltry salary of $23.6 million a year, plus bonuses and an expense account, why should he be interested in his customers? You must admire the man’s chicanery, thaumaturgy, figure-shuffling, slithery sidestepping and number-crunching. That somehow fools his bosses that he knows what he’s doing. I hate him, but I’m still jealous of the con-man supreme.

Got the fodder on the tray with a pot of lemon mousse, and I gobbled it all up without any bother. Mind you, it was a small meal for me. Purposely of cause, you see, as a part of my new diet regime. I am determined to lose weight by hook or by crook. I’m dedicated to it…

Two came tonight. Neither rang the door chime again. I mentioned this to both of them. I explained why, calmy, to them again why I wanted them to; “I could have been changing blood pants or taking a wee-wee; had I been doing either, the chime would have alerted me and given me time to stop you walking in and causing me embarrassment, you see?” I’m not sure it got through, and the new Carer seemed annoyed as if I’d told her off, saying We can’t get in your key safe. Well, the door wasn’t locked anyway? The regular gal was okay about it.

The hot water was still as hot as it used to be? Teggies did first, then the shaving – most cautiously. No more chunks of teeth fell off, one… I say…ONE tiny cut shaving, no dizzies, leg dances or banging into anything in the shower session! Brilliant!

Coming out from the ablutionalisationing, I went A-over-T on the towel airer! Clouting my head in the door on my way down. That’ll teach me to go into Smug-Modes! I’m going to try and stop going into them for a bit.

The view from the kitchen window was fantastic. Bootiful! That strip of light has been showing on clear nights for says now.

I put the computer on to see if Mr (Smoke & Mirrors) Fries crap Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet service was back online – it was, but it ran relatively slow.

Back on the computer, and I updated this blog. Doing rather well at it, actually, for once. However. a . I finished my bottle of spring water and went to fetch tonic water from the kitchen. The view outside was now to me. Magnificent!

After a couple of further hours, I’d nearly finished this blog and was ready to check for errors – Hahaha! Why do I bother? I always miss a load of mistakes in every blog, anyway!

Gave me a short concert of clumps. Followed by a couple whirling noises… ending with a solid thud. I’d love to know what he’s making at this time of night… a drinks cabinet, mayhap? Hahaha!

Humph! Got the checking of the blog finished. I checked three times and found something wrong each time – I will not try again.

Hello, more sounds from Herbert above… I think I’ve worked out what he’s up to… I wonder who the man or woman is with him?

Morning all!

Friday 26th August 2022

Opening Political Cartoon
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I woke up and was on my way to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) within 30-seconds of stirring back into ersatz life! With managing to almost fall out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner last night. I don’t know how I didn’t lose contact with the Amazon-bought, uncomfortable, plastic-peeling-off-of swivel chair! Hahaha! Yes, I’d fallen asleep at the computer!

The wee-wee was of the variety of UTD (Unwilling-Trickling-Dribbling) and CM (Cessational-Micturitional dribbling). The after-dribble after the initial wee-wee, possibly tool three times longer!
As I turned back with the bucket to be emptied held in my hands, I stubbed my toe against the ottoman! My reaction to saving the bucket from being dropped; was nothing short of a miracle. I dropped it, but not from a great height, and the liquid stayed in the bucket. Naturally, as the pain shot up the leg to the brain, I merely laughed it off. No cursing whatsoever.

I got the bucket emptied, sanitised and disinfected, and got on with the task of sphygmomanometerisationing.
I was jolly-well pleased with the Blood

Pressure figures. I put them in the medical site’s programme and returned this descriptive graph. I remembered that the Riverside Diabetes meeting for today had been cancelled as I was doing the readings.
I added my graphics to it in the name of entertainment… and because I love making them for a bit of fun.
After four days in the red zone, one day nearly of-off the graph: Things seem much improved today. Back in the amber area, that’s where I like it to be as well. Although two years ago, I had one day in the green Zone. Yes! That’s been my target ever since! If I live long enough, I might achieve this.

Aha! My spirits rose enormously! This morning’s Carer was Carol-Anne! Not seen her for months, many months. I thought she’d left to be honest.
What a precious gal. I had to give her a kiss and cuddle on her arrival. Carole didn’t mind, bless her. She spoke of the extra hour on Fridays, not having been since it was so-called arranged. I explained: It was initially for the Carer to do the laundry. But sometimes the laundry would come back not dried, and the clothing wrinkly. Also, I had not had socks, bobble hats, and shirts returned. Conversely, I have made a hand towel, tea towel, and pair of ladies’ knickers. I’m still paying for the hour, even though I’m paying Esther to do the laundry. She does a good job, and Esther hangs up the trews and shirts for me. Also as well as and besides that, she sews missing buttons on for me. Carol and I had an excellent nattering session, mostly me bemoaning my plight with the Diabetes, PN and Doctors farce. As I was paying for the hour, she lent me an ear. Hehehe! She checked the dates on the stuff in the fridge for me, cheese and ready meal found out of date. She will talk with my Doctor for me when she gets back to work. Carol has a few days off, going with her Mum away for a while. Great! She had to rush off after the hour, another call to make.

I spent many hours on CorelDraw before getting onto the blogging. Most of it was accompanied by Herbert’s mechanical concert from above. Percussion and drums mostly, with an odd clunk, throw in for good measure.

It was well into the afternoon before I started the daily ode and cartoon-creating. But I love doing the blog. Sometimes my hoard of followers and fans comment on them, you know. Why, on one day, only last month, both of them did!

That took a while too. Better get summat to eat before the evening carer arrives. Now then, what’s in the fridge freezer to have? I shall investigate… hang on; I’ve got some potatoes already on the boil.

Hang on, I’ve got to get the Warfarin tablets cut. So, I will do that. All done!
I’ll get a meal of some sort sorted out. Potatoes, tomatoes, and pretend fish sticks, it looks like. Good job. I’ve got the JS order coming on Sunday. It’s looking bare in the fridge after throwing away the short and out-of-date food. Tsk!

I’ll have a rummage around to see what can be found. To make a decent meal… Doreen makes me feel a schlemiel!

Well, I managed to knock up a half-acceptable-looking plate of fodder.
Imitation fish sticks, crispy onions, tomatoes, gherkins and those terribly-tasteless so-called by J Sainsbury, new potatoes. The overall flavour score was 6.4/10. The tomatoes and pretend fish sticks were not bad.

Arrived late, into that it mattered to me. Two Carers, one presumably a trainee. I was in a half-daze from being rudely awakened (Haha!), so I cannot say who it was that came or what happened. I recall telling them to help themselves to a treat on the top of the bookcase. Then walking to the door with them to lock it and wishing them well.

After that, I got down in the recliner again and started to watch the end of the heartbeat programme. I and my nodding off again. I woke for a wee-wee with a mammoth amount of

Back to the TV, nodded off again, and woke for another wee-wee! With the regulation .

Fell asleep again and woke up with the Dirty Harry film being shown; it was just starting. I decided to try and enjoy viewing it and bugger the sleeping. Ah, I like Clint Eastwood films.

At least another ten or twelve times and had to have four more wee-wees.

Woke up with the film credits scrolling down the screen! Well, that was Farcical!

I was worn out by then.
One final wee-wee with , and off to the wet room to clean and freshen up. Changed into new PPs, of course.
Straight off into the land of nod when got down again.
Overnight, I had to force myself awake eight more times for a wee-wee! Each one was short and sharp. Thankfully there were no more leakages, seepages or in these ones.

What an Oddlimost day!

ENDING POLITICAL CARTOON