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The giving up in need of sleep arrived even earlier today. I was doing really well, considering the lack of 
sleep last night. (15 minutes) – I gave up trying and rose (02:00hrs) to visit the wet room. I washed, shaved and had a near-normal evacuation this morning.
But I was struggling to get my head together, although it cleared shortly afterwards. I was surprised at how well I was doing mentally and physically under the circumstances. Naturally, this was not to continue. I knew somehow that the ‘Big Fade‘ was bound to fall sooner or later. I took a snap of the morning view.
The Asda order arrived; thank heavens I’ll not need another until Wednesday 28th (On order)
I sorted the waste bags. Later, Shaquille took them to the rubbish chute for me. That was kind of him.
The Asda order arrived.
This is a big one this time. Four items are missing, I’m glad there were, too! Well, they were out of stock. 
While taking the carriers filled by the driver for me to the kitchen, Carer Shaquille arrived and got the others. 
After tending to my needs, off he trotted and I sorted the groceries out. I’d got some drinks in for the bladder encouraging.
Buxton Spring water as usual. Baguettes and the potato cake rissoles, rosis whichever they are called; I love the taste and flavour of these!
I got caramelised sausages, lemon desserts, and some Jerk Patties. I also had tomatoes and Frankfurters. I may be tired out, but I think I will eat well this week.
A ready-made meal feast!
Cumberland pies, Shepherd’s pie, sausage & mash, and, what I plan to have for today, a Toad in the 
Hole meal for two, it said on the box?
It was a challenge to get everything in the fridge. I tried various combinations to get all the fodder into the fridge.
As you can see, it wasn’t easy to do. Hehehe!
Although the freezer was filled, and I got all three breads and baguettes in alright, I’m just glad I forgot to order any chips and pasties because they would never have fit in. Haha!
Got on the computer and started with CorelDraw, putting on the SD cards photos from 
.
Then I went to the kitchen to get the kettle on. I made a brew, and then I went back to the computer, where I diligently stayed grafting away until 
arrived. She didn’t have much time, but she checked my order for the diabetic socks from Amazon, and she found I’d ordered the wrong ones! Then she selected some proper bamboo socks, and put in an order for some of them. ETA tomorrow by 22:00hrs. I’ll be scared to try to sleep now, in case I miss them. You can’t win, can you? Well, I can’t.
Started feeling tired & weary again. I was about to save everything down ready to close down the computer, and a message from Norton came on the screen. Something like… the writing; “We have found 3,429 errors on your hard drive. Click here to repair”
The 3,439 number stayed in the memory, cause it frit me! So I clicked!
Well, the repair started, and 30 seconds later, Norton told me the Repairs were Completed. A restart would be needed. Not wanting to lose the work I had done, I tried to save the blog and CorelDraw work. But Windows also told me a restart.
So, I lost all my heart. The hours of work will all be lost and need to be done again in the morning. Humph!
I nervously pressed the restart.
Then, when it reloaded, Norton said I needed a Scan needed doing, so I did. It came out all clear.
After refusing several pricey and complicated, not fully understood offers of various route protectors and dark internet extras, I closed down windows.
I sat for a moment, ultra depressed at losing all the work, then…
THE BIG FADE FELL – AGAIN!
That was it. Once again, my body and mind told me to get some sleep, so I tried.
Carer Israel came, the laundry returned, and I put it away in the morning. 
Sleep was my main unfulfilled aim at the time. The Barrier cream was delivered at the same time.
The night shots taken of the view looked rather like the mood I was in. Glum, dark, depressed… Arrgh!
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Cheers!
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blood for the Warfarin INR checks. Another of my Angels. So sweet & patient, too, and the best bloodtaker I know. Very rarely have bled after she does me! ♥ 
I rose gingerly and felt so cold, as 05:40hrs. Removed the slightly dark urine bag and emptied it. I had a bit of a struggle to get the link tube out, but I got there without any 
.
The last one was a smidge betterer!
Signs of a guilt-promoting nature in the bin!
Made a mug of Glengettie tea. 
Was interrupted by the need for a rear-end evacuation. And what a messy one, it was!
Had a wash and got the 
tended to. Then I got daily as and if needed ones attended to. A lot of them were needed.
I ran out of the dry-eye spray, but I’ve a little left of the dry-eye drops. Must get some more.
I had a search around in case I might have left a bottle of the eye spray with the medical supplies in or near the Steptoe & Son rubbish room.
I’d not, Humph!
A telephone call from the surgery confirmed the February Medicine Assessment appointment. Also, the change in the Warfarin doses, & the need to keep to them strictly. As the level is up and down, they want to know why.
, and 
.
With the wind blowing hard, I took these through the kitchenette window glass. The misshaped moon and reflection of whatever it was gave it an airiness?
The wide shot of the houses qualified as terrible and artistic, I think? Hehe! It brought back to mind an arcade and Atari computer game of the 1970s. I can’t recall the name. Is there something about space?
The potato was selected to be used for the cheesy baked potato nosh.
Got the mega-spud in the oven. Getting the ingredients together and the catheter day pouch emptied.
Getting the sharp knife, I, once again, knocked the box off of the shelf… Double-Humph! One of the cheaper knife blades broke into two, another the tip snapped off, not be seen again… (I anticipate finding it, or instead treading on it with no shoes on, later)
Emptied the flesh into the mixing bowl.
And gave the contents a food mashing up.
I put a plaster on the cut fingernail afterwards.
. Luckily, I often do this; I was unsure if I’d left the tap running, so I went back to the kitchen to check… and I had! 
I ran the three scalded fingers under the cold tap and applied some Germolene. The finger had stopped bleeding, so it needed no attention.
The cheesy potatoes were fantastic!
Going darker again.
Evening all!
They might have said Schoolboy’s Face!
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I grappled my way up from the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibblings, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly-grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300, ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner, and felt amazingly up for it. Took the photo above of the nocturnal pouch. Then…
Got on the computer, and I got a visit from my Angel of Mercy, Hristina. She is so kind and understanding, patient too. I also believe she has a high EQ, for she soon picked up on my depression, and we chatted a minute or two after she’d painlessly taken the INR Warfarin blood Test. ♥ A Sweetheart!
But it took its time.
I cut the fat off of the meat, and cubed it, ready to go in the vegetables later on.
Got the veg and sauce in the saucepan.
Added the meat, peas and beans, and stirred it in, with some chunky veg sauce.
Blimey, it was freezing out there; the nurse and Carers said so as well.
Made a mug of Glengettie tea.
Pretty delicate clouds.
Then I took a close-up shot.
I got the potatoes from the oven and added them to the pan. Good and crisp they were. Maintained stirring up and, at one time, added a bit more sauce. Enough there for two meals, sn tomorrows will all ready for warming up. Well, that’s the plan!
Bootiful! 
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Oh, heck, darker this time.
Got up really early and escaped the clutches of the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy & dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, pungently aromad Catheter-tube-trapping, recliner. And a rare spurt of enthusiasm overcame me. Not for long!
Which took a while to clean up.
Early photo.
Later photo.
, while carrying the hot water! 
. Then, as I was going through the door… I clouted my right shoulder against the door frame, setting off 
. I groped about to get a hold of them, which I did, and the left lens shot out of the frame as I did! I took this photo of the state of my poor face after I’d untangled myself from the wheeled trolley and mop bucket.
At least the right leg looked a lot better.
The Asda PPs were put on. 
It was the end of his shift, and the poor lad was looking weary; I felt a bit guilty. But I told him not to bother with the ankle straps. At least that saved him a little time.
The Asda delivery arrived. It’s not one of the best I’ve had; I’ll tell Ayer why…
A big open, I struggled to get the bags into the kitchen.
Above is the meat with two days of use-by life left on it as it was delivered.
Some of the yoghourts had one day!
Drink treats and my Soda water.
Good stock of spring waters & cordials.
Good choice in sauces.
Cheapo cleaners.
The top half of the fridge.
The bottom half.
Fridge door.
suddenly erupted.
. Off to the wet room for 
. It bled so much that I had to change the PPs. But I did get the fresh ones on easily enough for once. 
The window I’d closed earlier.
A call came in on my aged mobile Nokia.
they were to reduce the size of the Prostate, and the specialist told me to take them for a month only, and it is now about 7 months, and I’m still on them. Explaining I’m just checking. He said he would talk to the Doctor about it and get back to me later. 
I got a call yet again on the landline! It was from my heavenly treasure, known to me as Nurse 
Hristina, from the DVT Antithrombosis Haematology Clinic, to say she would call in the morning to take a blood sample for the Warfarin INR and Vitamin Deficiency. 
Yet another landline call came in! Yes! The pharmacist, or whatever he is, gave the prescription questions earlier. But, I’ve forgotten what it was he said now. 
?
Carer Chris did the last call, not that there was much to do. I’d not eaten yet; walking about with the nocturnal pouch being carried while cooking is not an option for me and is dangerous. So he got to go home early. No sign of my lost laundry yet. 
Tomatoes, Green tomato pickled salad. Wholemeal bread with no-butter butter slices. Potato rissoles, and a tangy mandarin yoghourt. It looked good, but it didn’t taste good at all! But I was a little depressed.
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Scarily deep colours in the night pouch?
I went to the wet room and adopted my Sherlock Holmesian mode to discover the problem was down there… I soon found the blood flowing close to the tube’s entry point.
The PPs were removed, and new Depends were readied to use. I then tried to stop the flow of blood. The Fungal lesion on the little chap appeared to have increased to four now! Argh! No doubt due to the presence of the deadly catheter that has been inserted for over a year now! I did take a photograph of the 
area… well, the blood on the pants, but decided not to show it, as it looked pretty gruesome. But at least I can show it to the nurses who are due today. But not on the web. Cleaned myself 
. A mite too much, mayhap… I almost slid right off it when I had to get seated on the Throne. Hahaha! That was another Trotsky Terence-controlled evacuation – what a smelly mess!
Off to the kitchen to make a brew of tea. I was having more trouble this morning from my 
leg.
I took a fetching photo of the car park below the kitchen window. Eerie or not? What do you think?
Oh, heck, back to the 
yet again. It’s been a hectic day up to now. I anticipate it will get worse… my EQ has just given me the nod to expect ructions, unexpected 
disappointment, or of that nature? He’s never been wrong in his tips, yet. I’m afraid. The evacuation was another Trotsky in-charge affair, but the content came out differently this time. It’s a sort of sludgy with flaky bits around the edges; I’ve had this type once before, a few months ago. I think!
I went off to the kitchenette again, only to find I’d left the damned kitchen hot water tap (faucet) running yet again! I keep blaming all these faux pas
… there is something within that is crushing, obliterating my plans, thoughts and abilities to pieces lately. In particular, she loves toying with my short-term memory. I’ve thought about it a lot recently. It erks me!
Later today, I realised that the most cock-ups come when I’m trying to concentrate on something, and a simple thing like a phone call coming in a Carer or Nurse coming in will leave me open to forgetfulness. Even with talking, if someone changes the topic, alters a question… I’m lost! Not only to the new subject but what I was doing before the chinwag started. I’m amazed that I can still do the odes? But everything is error-ridden and takes far too long to get written as I originally meant it to… 
The blood papules on the left leg had increased a bit. I’ll mention it to the nurse when she arrives later on. He says with an air of fallacious, 
blind confidence
they are old? But not to fret. Too much!
Aha, the Iceland order has arrived. So, I left the computer so I could forget where I was up to and what my next move would be. I admitted the driver via the intercom box and opened the door for his arrival. 
drinkies and nibbles shelves.
the first bag emptied out.
puffs are for Jenny’s other half, Frank. Nice chap, and lovely Lady, they are. 
against the server-trolley wheel. Naturally, me being a brave, almost heroic, man of courage, grit and gamely pain-tolerant, there was no groaning, moaning or Arghs! 
The intercom lit up, and I went to investigate. It was two of the District Nurses, who were soon up and in the flat, 
checking the legs first. They took photographs of the 
new blood leaks to show the Doctor when they returned to base at the Community Centre. Then, one of the Angels got her computer out and started asking many questions about my medical history, who and where each one was diagnosed when the various ailments first, what treatment I had, and when started. Well, that did not go too well! Instead, I feared she’d ask me for my date of birth because, cause for the love of me, I 
couldn’t recall it… It came back to me later; she didn’t ask for it. 
was a shock to me when it hurt so much, especially in my right leg, which seems semi-immune to pain at times when the 
are off-line to the brain. Unfortunately, they were getting through at the time the patch was taken off. Hahaha!
. 
!
As they departed, I insisted they take their choice of drinkies and or nibbles, and I thanked them. One said they would be back on Friday to check out the state of 
. But this has been said so often, and no one turns up, that a pinch of salt was tasted. Har-har! 
a chance for the wound to heal. Also, if my toes go blue, I’ve to call them ASAP and for me to take off the dressing straight away. Bless em!
My precious nurse Hristina phoned to let me know she would call in the morning, between 9> and 10:00hrs, to take blood for the anticoagulation DVT department ♥
Unbe-rotten-believable!
, is the one that can give me problems, but the left one (she’ll need naming now); Gave way, and down I went in the kitchen onto my left knee – which, as you know, is the one currently having 
attached to it! The pain from the fall was of little bother; I was more concerned that the bag may have burst. I checked and thought; well, that was a bit of luck! I thought it an opportune time to make the second brew of Glengettie tea of the day in celebration… 
, and as I tried to catch it and missed, I trod on it as I lost my balance, and I squelched over the carpet… 
Just caught the end of the sun setting.
Zoomed in a little…
Moments later, she’s gone!
Nightie, night!
Then, I industriously set about preparing the simple evening meal. Just potatoes baked, emptied out, causing a few burns on the fingers. Then, even more, I scooped out the flesh and mashed it with No-Butter, butter, Leicester cheese and sea salt in the mixing bowl. Ran a fork over the top of each skin to create ridges so as to crisp up the finished product, 
and back into the oven, 
After the lad had left, I checked on the cheesy spud’s progress, cooking-wise. They needed a little longer. So, I put the TV on to see if anything worthwhile was showing. 
Ahem! I found this in ten seconds! Fair enough, it was designed for infants to work out. But still – 
Hehe!
, 
the box, then restart the computer. Even change Wi-Fi connection numbers each time it went down, and do the same work again!
Bejesus! What a colour!
Still dark hours later, when I belatedly emptied the day pouch.
Waste bags sorted out.
During one of the failed 
visits, I had to change into fresh PPs. I tried one of the cheaper XXL ones…
Aha, much lighter shade this afternoon!
My favourite puffer clouds to the north.
And, to the east!
Liberty-Global Internet went down a few more times.
I dropped a tablet and thought it fell in the waste bin.
Had a sort through the bin, but could not find it.
So, another dig around in the waste bin.
Then realised when I’d stubbed the toe, I’d caught the right ankle ulcer. It stung a bit, but I now had the Germolene to rub in to ease it. Of course, bending down to rub in the ointment, kicked off 
, so she got some Germolene rubbed in… at least the area I could reach. I wonder if any youngsters read this blog? They’ll, just like I did, and think it’ll not happen to be, getting dithery, dozy and daft as a brush. Haha! 
Peaceful looking?
Lights out time.
Sky again to the left.
All looking good!
Breadsticks, a banana, and an iced lolly for afters.
was waiting ready to start again. But I did get off eventually and had nearly three hours of bliss. 
, convinced me on waking, that it was Monday! So I thought I had a delivery coming between 7 & 8, and it was already 07:15hrs; a semi-panic-mode was engaged and I got up in a bit of a rush; Dizzy Dennis visited, and I plumped down again, with a foggy head. Then realised it was Sunday.
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Blepharitis Infection Eye Gel applying problems. 
brought on a few giving-way episodes on the left leg, which nearly had me over each time. But, somehow I avoided tumbling and having an 
. A close call though.
, the main guilty party is, the 
that was spouting puss a bit today. All of these are connected to 
was responsible for them all. Schweinhund!
instructions.
Which seemed much more understandable now.
Another hour and a half and the total to date was…
Up to now, the internet had gone down…
Internet Outages Applied by Inchy!
Spouting fluid
Waste Bins Sorted
Early morning kitchen view
I’m not sure why I took this one? 
After ablutions kitchen view
Went a little dark as the afternoon loomed.
Then brightened up. Bootiful clouds
Slowly darkened as it got later.
delights
.
.
put on. The Gel applying, I’ve still not mastered very well.
Failures had reached…
No fish fish-sticks and fishless prawns. Canned garden peas, nice tomatoes, yellow & red, roast potato chunks done in the oven with olive oils sprayed on them, vinegared and salted on the plate, no sauce needed tonight. I then proceeded to eat the feast… and created a new record!
Peas went off wandering every time, I was still finding them on the floor that 
How Gorgeous!
on this one.
, 
gave me a break, and 
no bother at all! 
on both, but it made no difference; it’s still a painful nuisance this morning. 
♥ Here she is with me in the flat. ♥
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I do recall nearly taking a tumble when I caught the catheter night bag’s long tube. Hehe!
Parkers below from the balcony.
So a lot of cleaning up to do!
Waste bins sorted.
Laundry.
One for me, one for the pot…
Should I save some for later?
Not made into the saucepan?
The battered balls had to be thrown away.
Oh, missed this morning’s front car park photo off!
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SMUG-MODE Adopted
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. Carer Richard told me later it was Grade seven on the NHS Urine colour docket. A bit dark? I’ll try to drink more water today.
immediately. So I did. Much less messy this morning. It seems that 
had made a counter-attack for command of this evacuation. I lot of effort was needed from me to get things started and moving. Painful and bloody for 
.
Cleaned the backside and ointmentated the rear end with Germoloids.
I found the missing toothbrush after several days of searching. It had fallen or been dropped, of course; out of sight and landed on the cleaning cloth that was a similar colour. I wouldn’t have found it but for a slight 
(Hard to believe, I know!) I dropped the Dettol bottle, bent to retrieve it and hit my shoulder against the sink; that’s when I saw it. I took no chances and used the 
little picker upperer to get it.
losing blood, I must try to be careful. I just hope that 
doesn’t join in with them. Then, I did mayhap the riskiest job of 
every morning; getting the PPs on. Which is always a painful task and often one with 
tendencies and risks. But not this morning; the pain was there, of course – but no injuries! 
And not only, but also, I used the cheaper grey ones, which tend to split or tear occasionally, but again; Not this morning!
The sweat rash was less irritating as well this morning.
Even more good luck here; The feet, ankles, ulcers, and water papules were all looking good.
.
Even filling the bowls of water from the kitchen to The not-working or refilling W.C. water tank, didn’t bother poor old 
so much as it usually does. Mind you, knocking the shoulder against the sink earlier, did set off 
, and so I was as careful as I was possible not to spill any water or drop a bucket, and I went in slow-motion, almost shuffling my feet flat on the floor, slowly along. But 
Shirley was only giving micro shakes at this time. How kind of her! Checked the taps were off, and off to the kitchen to get the kettle on and took this photographicalisation of the view.
I took a snap of the being-done-up house near the bottom field.
Sounded from the door chime, and in came my treasured INR, Anticoagulation, DVT Deep Vein Thrombosis, Warfarin phlebotomy Nurse Hristina. To take my blood. That cheered me up! ♥ Lovely lady.
I had some brekkers.
17:50hrs: So light out there.
.
visit, and calls from Sister Jane, Carers extra calls with the medications (Fetched my Carer Richard for me, a grand chap.
– Really thick! 
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First photo after the calamity of carrying the water from the kitchenette to refill the still unmended, non-working W.C. tank.
Took another shot from the same place.
I got deep into concentrating on the blog work.
Then, I do like this title; The QMC Haematology, Anticoagulation, Deep Vein Thrombosis, Warfarin nurse called to take my blood sample to check the INR level. Sweet Hristina ♥
My Pareidoliaing came to the fore when I looked at yesterday’s photo above. Danged if I can see it now, but I saw a pig’s face and snout in the photo. This encouraged me to make this graphic. Blown if I can see it now… but it’s well late in the day before I got to doing this blog, and my eyes are always worserer when I get tired.
Afternoon shot, taken when I went to the kitchen to make my first mug of Glengettie tea. (I said I was feeling odd, didn’t I?).
Noticing that a local house was having an extension built.
The leg was itching underneath the day pouch.
Evening shot.
Pareidoliaing opportunity here?
Carer arrived. I got on the computer after the gal 
was coming on. After two days of hairy-fairyness and feeling out of it, this came almost as a shock to me. The depths of misery flooded my every essence, and I genuinely feared for my sanity – I wasn’t coping well at all with this bout of sudden despondency. 
Yet as I had two, almost at the same time, this seemed to bring me back to 
accompanied by the day-long pains from 
An 
erupted as I was washing the pots. I made a grab for Metal-Mickey, knocked my knee against the cabinet, and toppled a dish from the draining board; that hit the 
sausages in the fridge, with a good splashing of BBQ sauce. Two bread rolls and a pot of strawberry dessert. Very nice simple nosh; I was too tired to bother with anything fancy. Flavour-Rating: 7.10.
, apart from the pain they left me in, they seem to have had no lasting detrimental implications now at all?
gave me a break last night. 
! However, the combined forces of 
assured me of another bad night for waking up far too often. Humph!