Saturday Diary & Ode: 17th September 2022

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To my cyber-buddy and fellow none-fitter-innerer Billumski!
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I think I had more sleep last night than I have in any week! Sadly, it was all in bits and pieces, broken by being woken and my habit of straying off doing things after I’d needed one of the several wee-wees. Also, some persistent Thought-Storms of an aggressive nature.

But I returned to the doubtful comfort of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner; after each hobble about, or moving things around for no reason, and rearranging of a food cupboard. Why? I anticipate finding other things that I may well have done in my noctambulations later on.

I lay there, pondering over this and that, and anything and the bowels decided to try and evacuate the inner product of its own accord… There followed a sequence of events that were events that were worthy of the Comedy Sketch of a Year Award. I thank heavens there are no CCTV cameras in this flat!

①: I fumbled and bumbled my way up onto my feet; crumbs, the TV remote and a part-eaten packet of pistachio nuts hit the floor and spread all over the carpet..
②: No time for the waking-up to catch my balance routine, I grabbed Metal-Micky, and on the first imitation step, I found one of the pistachio nuts with my left foot.
③: So, as I crumpled onto the floor, my right knee found another escaped Pistachio nut!
④: I went through some pain getting up again, and was only concerned at that moment with getting to the in time… The narrow hallway walls sustain me getting into the wet room, for Metal Micky was laying somewhere in the front room wherever it was, I’d dropped him in the tumble.
⑤: The fight to get the pyjamas down delayed me and caused more panic; I tore them, in the end, to get them down quicker…
⑥: To no avail, I fear! The bladder and bowels won this one! They both started before my bum got down on the plastic .
⑦: At least things were over quickly, but they left me with I don’t know how long to put right and clean up the wet room, then the exit points had to be cleaned and medicated. Fortunately, I keep a supply of the PPs and large kitchen towels with the Germolene and Germolids to hand in the wet room. Along with the aftershave and plasters to steady any shaving cuts or leaks from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion while I’m doing the ablutions.

I can’t understand why now; no doubt it made sense at the time, but I felt a little smug at coping with these embarrassments and decided to get the done while I was in there.
The right knee was not in good shape after its attack on the Pistachio nut earlier. Hehe! in shaving, left me using the plasters and the aftershave to stop the bleeding! Little Inchies Lesion was not leaking; all were okay!   Oh, and the hair at the lower back of the head come neck is definitely growing again – white! I shaved it off.
After getting things all sorted, new PPs and socks (that were a hell of a job to get them on!) on, The right knee was now very tender!  I packed the affected PPs in the disposal bag and returned to get Metal Micky from the recliner room…
When I got back in the room, I thought I’d had burglars! I’d cleared the shelf above the electric fire of all the rubbish, and that had joined the crumbs and food on the carpet! Making it worse, a bottle of disinfectant I keep there for the wee-wee bucket had lost its cap when it got knocked over!
I’d also like to know how I managed to get Metal Micky left right in the corner her the bookcase? I think it would a physical impossibility, surely? Anyway, it was hard enough trying to retrieve it; I had to climb over the many fallen object to get to it – so I used the long picker-upperer. Cunning that, I thought!
I got Micky back with the stick and was almost on the verge of congratulating myself as I turned around and against the shredder. Another flipping moment!

I stopped doing everything. And mountaineered my way to the recliner, resisting crying, and just sat down and spoke to myself as calmly as I could… “This is not a good start. Fair enough, the bladder and bowels are out of your control, as are your fingers, feet, legs, shoulder etc… no good getting depressed, mate; it’s just how it is. What you need is some help when things like this happen. I agreed with myself, called myself a pratt, and did my belated balance exercise.
At this point, I noticed the clock… that was on the floor with all the other jetsam and flotsam – I checked with my watch, and they both indicated it was only 04:30hrs! Christ, what time did I get up then?

I swore to take things calmly from here on today. And tackled the mammoth job of cleaning and sorting things out in the room. I’m not saying I didn’t have a few moments of self-pity cause I did feel sorry for myself once or twice. But found the determination to just press on with the sorting. No rushing, doing it quietly. I got something out of it at the end of the task, I’d got three waste bags full of rubbish to go to the chute. Hahaha! Somehow or other, I perked up a smidgeon, too! It was well gone eight O’clock by the time I’d sorted the mess. Then I made a prayer for it not to happen again for a while, please.

It then dawned on me… the Morning Carer had not been yet? Quick as a flash, I realised it was a Saturday, so no fretting. Meridian was very late arriving last Saturday as well. They do have trouble getting staff at the weekend, it seems. Moments later, a call came in through the landline, and it was from Meridian.
The lady told me that the Carer was outside and could not get in. I took it as she was outside the building and told her to press the intercom 72 and I could let her in… then I thought I’d better check, and I inquired if she was outside the door or the flats? But the lady did not know. I said I’d get my walking stick and go have a look. Got the Wooden Wilmer stick, and I went to the door.
The Carer was outside of the flat door, complaining because she could not get the key lock code to work. I smiled gently, using one of my calming half-smiles, and told her I can’t either! And broke into a broad grin. That did it, I think; I caught her heart!   Hahaha! I explained that the door was not locked; sometimes, I forget to unlock it, but not often. If she presses this button, pointing out the door chime, I will hear it, but not anyone knocking on the door. I’m deaf, senile and decrepit, but that can’t be helped. She did larf! I liked her straight away.

Her name was Sinead, not seen before. I think she was from another assignment somewhere else; that’s why she was late, getting me added to her list. Nice gal, we had a little chinwag. She said she’d come again if she got the chance.

Well, I’ve still not done the Health Checks yet, better get them done. The last time I did them later in the day, the figures were down, so here’s hoping.

Well, that didn’t help much, doing it late, did it? Ah, well, as a part of my commitment to resist swearing, feeling sorry for myself and keeping calm, all I can say is: Hey-Ho!

Time to sort out something for dinner; no bother making up my mind today; I’ve a fancy for some chips and a veggie burger! The chips are oven ones that claim to be vegan. looking forward to trying them.
and Yet again, the photo I took of the meal has evaporated into the ether! I’d love to know how this happens; cause I took a look at it after shooting it and was pleased with the result. Come the morning, when I uploaded the last few photographs, there it was gone! Grrr!
The chips looked very tattie and were thick-skinned, but I did enjoy them all the same. Taste-Rating: 6.5/10.

Arrived, it was Sharon; I knew her name the second she told me after I asked her what it was! (Dementia Doreen again!) She didn’t stay long, but we managed a mini-natter before she chose her treats and departed.

Washed the pots, locked the door and a rinse, and made for the warmth of the rickety c1966 recliner. I feared that I may not be able to get back to sleep and put the telly on… but could I find anything worth watching? No!
I mused over which DVD to watch. Whilst doing so, I drifted off into Sweet Morpheus’ land… Nice!

Two hours later, I woke in desperate need of a wee-wee! The memories of this morning’s facial, embarrassing and painful events came flooding back.
Would I make it to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in time without any more Accifauxpas? again, but I got things flowing without any disasters.
Stopping it flowing was the problem! The went on and on… I was almost tired out by the time it ended. Hehehe! I did have a mini during the leaking, but it only lasted for seconds – !

I felt the warm wet sensation when I pulled up the PPs. So, off I limped with Metal Micky to change the pants and clean up.
As I entered the wet room,
I stubbed my toe against the vicious, blood and bruise-bringing, metal, agony-to-use, brutal
!
I’m sure she had moved from this morning; I thought I’d put her safely out of the way behind the mop bucket… I’m sure I did! Now, she was near the sink? Obviously, the work of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me! Or maybe .

That was the end of any thoughts of getting back to sleep again!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 4th August 2022

Starting with this Humorous Ode
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Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Last night I slept early, getting up around 12:40hrs, and got on with the day’s work. I’m nothing if dedicated.
After yesterday’s three false alarms, I was unsure of having a successful mission. However, the evacuation flowed in contact with the plastic throneand kept coming; at one stage, I thought my body might float into the air. Hehe! I’d passed that much. And comfortably, pain-free without any bleeding! A total reversal, I suspect that the different veggie burgers I had for dinner may have played a part in this scenario.

This photo I took of the plates and pins and forgot to put on yesterday’s blog. It could happen to anyone, Ahem! Don’t they look good? This and the excellent BP lately are worrying; I’m not used to this.

I had a wash and sorted out the waste bins. Got a cold drink from the fridge, finished yesterday’s blog, and posted it off to WordPress.

I made up the dry-humoured Ode to use and spent hours trying to sort out whatever I’d done wrong on Corel Draw, which lost me so many options. At one time, I gave up, turned it off, and got out the sphygmomanometer. 
Yet another great set of figures this morning. And I was only just inside the red zone. Amazes me how the BP has been so good this last month.
I tried CorelDraw again, and I lost the saved template. More time lost, searching without much hope… But, I found, retitled it to the original name, and all was well again. I thought

I’ve got a Morrison via Amazon order coming later shortly now. But will Carer Richard come late enough so he can have his Mushroom Pete treat? Will the delivery come in time? – Will they have any in stock? – Will they send crap substitutes? Can I freeze a fresh mushroom pate for Richard to have the following Monday? Did I remember to order some? What day is it?…

The wee-wees have eased off. The rear-end found new life. My legs, ankle ulcer and feet are looking virtually perfect. No Harold Haemorrhoid or Fungal Lesion bleeding. No stubbed toe, walking into anything, & no battle with Sock-Glide-Glenda (I didn’t put any socks on). 

Arrived when and we were both a little down, I think. What bit of chinwagging we got was not the most cheerful. And Richard broke his own record for the fastest visit today. He was soon off in haste, but still the pleasant chap he is.

I turned off the computer to ensure that when the Morrison Amazon delivery arrived, I could be in the kitchen with the door open and hear when the weak, timid, pathetic chime from the intercom was heard. When the intercom chimed out, I was taking the opportunity to titivate the mess on the draining board.
A beautiful young lady came to the door and handed me each bag I put in the hallway. She already had my address, Hehe! Took my date of birth.
I thanked her and set about taking each bag through to the kitchenette. Poor old thing! I know I’m getting old, senile and past it. It shook me that I needed a few minutes to rest after taking the bags through the hallway.
The frozen item was the Meatless Farm Burgers, as well; there’s not much free room in the freezer.
Got what might be the last of pod peas, they are near the end of the season now, and it shows.
The fridge, on the other hand (not that I actually had a fridge on the other hand), had a lot of fodder that had to be jungled and jiggled to make room to get the stuff in there. These included some Strawberries, one for the Wardens, and Carer Valerie’s weekly treat.
Bananas, and my favourite veg seasoning, Oxo. These cubes have a fantastic flavour with them. I got some rice in, as it has already shot up in price, and a lady on the TV last night said to expect a lot more increases.
I put the warden’s weekly flower treat in the hallway; it’s cooler in there and rang to say they could be collected anytime. And if the DVT nurse comes early, I’ll bring them down to the office for them.

I must remember to ask Deana if the lift for the Diabetes session is sorted cause with Nathanial staying late to go over my missed meeting course, I will not know when I will be leaving. So will have to get a tram to Nottingham, a bus to Sherwood, and another bus up to the flats on that Friday. Fingers crossed that the ailments give me a break, which they are doing now… but they’ll be back! Haha!

Minutes after typing the above, the wet warm glow started in the lower regions. Why did I have to open my mouth? At least today, I can patch things up with the invaluable help of the shower before medicating. I always dread this happening when I’m out and about. Pure luck that it doesn’t happen too often… come to think of it, I’m not out usually anyway.

I’ll turn everything off computer-wise now and get the ablutionalisationing done and medicating certain areas in need. Back in a while…

“Lambasting-to-Self: Oh, No, you great fool, the DVT nurse and Deana are coming, aren’t they, dumbo!… I wish you’d get it together… Idiot! You know you can’t hear the telephone, intercom or even the door chime when you’re in the shower… Pillock!”
Dementia Doreen dashes your plans! Did you see that? The vaguest iota of contentment or thought that things might about to be going well, and what happens?

11:10hrs: Checked the tracker on Amazon; 3 stops away; I’d nearly forgotten about this delivery coming as well! Tsk! All that hassle getting the shower repaired, and now I still can’t get a shower! Or much sleep, either.

Took these photographicalisations of magnificent puffer clouds on display. A tremendous deep shade of blue?

11:39hrs: Checked the tracker on Amazon; Still 3 stops away.

Got some chips in the oven, chip sarnies for a snack? Cooked it, took a photo of it (and it didn’t get on the SD card?), ate it (the chip sarnies), and fell asleep.

Zzz!
Amazon Red Leicester delivery arrived. I put them away.
Zzz!
Esther called to see how things were, off on holiday. Wished her all the bestest.
Zzz!
Wardens Dean and Julie arrived. To do the yearly fact updates, we did them, and I mentioned the lift to the Diabetes at Bulwell. The leading man, Nathanial, is staying behind on this session to help me catch up with the one I missed, thanks to Meridian Care lot not letting me know they had failed to arrange a lift for me after saying to me; “We’re sorting it, no need to worry!” Deana phoned the transport people and arranged for a ride for the Friday 12th, 2nd session. I had to join something, and Deana sorted it all for me on the phone. Lovely, ♥! Deana also gave a note with the relevant numbers on it… But can I find it? NO! But I did remember to provide them with their weekly treats, flowers, and strawberries. Searched for hours for the note… maybe she didn’t give me one, or… I’m getting muddled again. I emailed her the list of the meetings and mentioned the mystery note… I am a fool!
Zzz!
. Arrived, I was well deep into sleep again, a rude awakening. Haha! Got the medications sorted out for me. Treated to a choice of plonk/nibbles. Off he went, not taking the waste bags to the chute. Cause I didn’t remind him. However, I had all the waste made from the other deliveries to sort, so I got on with them and took them all to the waste chute.

Cathleen’s Cartilage was playing up after I twisted the knee getting into the chute room. Pain level, only 4/10. Easily bearable.

Onto the computer and sent the list of sessions to Warden Deana. Updated this blog up to here. Then started the template for Fridays.

I nipped into the wet room to check that the shower was not leaking again, and…
Gave myself a good toe stubbing against the dreaded, fearsome Sock-Glide-Glenda. Catching the ankle ulcer at the same time. When I took this photo, later on, the end of the toes of the affected foot was white, and the rest of the foot was glowing red; the leg above was ghostly white?

Just another of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. I just laughed it off, of course.

I got this blog finished. I’ll post it in the morning.

It’s been a busy day. But getting help from Deana, and Ethel checking on how I was going, meant so much to me. Bless ’em! ♥

Inchcock Today: Diary with Odeing

Brief Diary – with Boringly Long Ode…

One hell of a Messy Day!

Friday 13th May 2022

I reluctantly woke at 05:30hrs, and after a few minutes of determinate efforts to nod off again, the need for the Porcelain Throne arose, and I was cruelly forced to get up!

I made my way to the wet room, pleased with how I was getting about, balance-wise. But was not too keen on how the Porcelain Throne evacuation went. Trotsky Terence had a more significant say in things. Thus it was messy and a semi-splurting affair. Needing a lot of cleaning up doing after the event.

I decided to get a stand-up wash, teeth, medicationing and shave, etc. done as I was there. The shaving well, well, one… just one nick on the chin. (The teeth cleaning I forgot to do, I did it later when I remembered).

Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Arthur Itis knees, Colin Cramps’ hands and Little Inchies Fungal Lesion were all medicated. I got dressed, thinking the Carer may soon be here.

Turned on the computer…

Boy, was I pissed off? YES, I was! Grrr! The thoughts of Liberty-Gobal’s Mr Fries getting so much salary and bonuses, and he can’t get an internet signal to work in Nottingham…

DOWN AGAIN

I turned everything off, leaving it for ten or fifteen minutes. Unplugged the lot. Then restarted the hub and, five minutes later computer. Gave it longer to sort itself out and into the kitchenette Humph! Stubbing my toe on the way against the server trolley wheel.

This is not going to be as short a dairy as I planned. My EQ had spoken, “Be prepared for a messy day! So I did!

From the depths of despair, I rose into flabberghastedness! Not only did the internet start, but when I slipped in the SD card – it worked the first time!!! So I got these photos from yesterday loaded to put on here. I didn’t get too excited, though, after I found that some were refused as ‘wrong format’, which they are not; I levelled off my mental state down to ‘Ah, well, I knew summat else would knacker things up!’ mode.

The first two are from the Health Checks, and the results were not too bad either. I’ve had much worse this week.

Oh, dear, now I’ve had to stop. Frustration, self-derogatory tongue lashings and self-hating had to have a few minutes with me! I realised I’d already put these on yesterday’s blog. Of course, I should have been blaming Dementia Doreen! But having to live with her, I didn’t want to make her angry with me! Hehehe! Good job that I didn’t lose more time and recognised that I’d posted them. But definitely, positively, no Smug-Mode was deserved!

When I made a brew and took this photo while doing so. The morning weather was how I felt, a smidge down, dank and not too hopeful. Hey-Ho! Hello, another trip to the Porcelain Throne was indicated…

2 So, off for the second visit of the day. Trotsky Terence was in even more control this time. The liquidifation of things was more advanced, which meant less need and time for cleaning up my delicate areas on the plus side! I used the minus side, which saved time cleaning up the splashed and liquid ricochets.

I took a photograph of the Winwood Heights, Chestnut Way, end car park. I was most concerned not to see RVM (Red-Van-Mans’) van parked on the yellow chevrons. In fact, I could not see it anywhere. He’ll be out at an AA meeting, his probation officer or visiting his mates in prison, mayhaps? Hehehe! Only joking! He’ll be working somewhere.

I pressed on with updating yesterday’s blog. Eventually, getting it done and posted. When I went to get a drink of spring water, I realised that it was beyond 09:00hrs. And no Carer had called yet. I’ll give them a little longer; usually, someone rings if they will be late?

I’m getting fed up with this – Haha! 3: I moved on to Facebooking the blog, went on the TFZer and Winwood Heights pages, read, and replied to some comments. After about an hour… back to the throne. The evacuated product was of a similar nature to the last visit. The jets of liquid were far more powerful… thus messy and needed cleaning again.

I got the bags into the kitchenette, ready to sort them out. I made a start on this blog, it was slow going, Doreen, and the brain’s concentration made things difficult for me. Then, the intercom rang forth and flashed. It was the Amazon shopper delivering my order. He even brought up the flowers first so that the bunches didn’t get crushed. Then he brought the rest up. Bless him.

I go the flower treats put safely stored from crushing, firstly. Today, the treats are for Deana, Julie and Jenny. I rang Jenny to see which one she fancied. Jenny opted for the centre bouquet.

The pink one. At least, I think the first two are pink. They’ve gone now, and I can’t remember the names, Tsk! Oh, yes, I can, one of them, the left one, Chrysanthemums! Sad, innit? My being colour blind and not a new thing that isn’t.

Around 1963 I failed a medical for a job on British Rail as a goods train guard. I found out that I suffered from protanopia – basically, I cannot identify reds from other close colours, orange, maroon etc. Then a couple of years ago, they told me I now (then) had dichromatism, having trouble identifying primary reds, greens and blues. Now I’d acquired Saccades in the right eye and glaucoma and cataracts. See what I mean? Hahaha!

Oh, heckythump, was I waffling on there! Sorry. Back to the diary…

I got the frozen things away. Vegetable burgers, iced orange lollies, potato bakes, potato bites and potato croquettes. I was pretty pleased with how I conjured around the stuff in the freezer to make room for the new stuff.

Then the fridge products, not many today, I intend to use up some of the canned foods. (We’ll see?). Tomatoes, sugar snap peas, mushroom pates, veg sausages, strawberry & grape pots to treats, that’s about it. Ah, no, well, yer see… I suppose you do… Those fresh cream French Horns? I blame one of my sweethearts on the TFZer Facebook page; I have a few. She just loves fresh cream French Horns, and when I eat one, it reminds me of Janet.

Janet and me in the photo here… in a dream I had! ♥ I’m off waffling again!

Cans of Chilli-Con-Carne, pots of jelly & custard, potatoes, fries, vegetable stock, tomato puree with herbs, a lemon, five bananas, a bottle of orange cordial, and a can of chilli soup make up the rest of the the the items purchased.

I got the fodder all stored away (The cupboards and freezer are close to cram-packed now). Then back on the blogging for an hour or two. Suddenly it dawned on me… nearly midday, and no Carer had arrived? I called Warden and Ballerina Julie and or Warden and Desktop dancer Deana to tell them the flowers are ready for collecting; if they can manage it. Julie answered and said she would come up to see me. I can mention the Carer missing again when she comes.

After making the call, I began to fear that I may have made an error. I was confused, and Dementia Doreen was making me fret; someone had called? I checked on the Meridian call register but could not read it with my eyes… I feared that if I say owt, and it turns out they have already been… I’m going to be regarded as a plonker of the first order? I took some faith that I was shaking a lot more than usual. The last time they failed to show, I’d gone so long without the medications; I got the shakes when they arrived. And boy, was I beginning to shake now! Yes, I was!

Back to my blogging, this is taking far too long. Interruptions of various sorts, and now Herbert had kicked off with his tap-tapping. He didn’t go on for too long. Oh, I think he just dropped something metallic, then!

Warden & ballerina Julie came in. I asked her if she would please take the flowers for Jenny, as I was expecting a delivery and call from the hospital, and she kindly agreed. I mentioned that I don’t think a Carer has been, and she said I was shaking and shuddering. Julie checked the Meridian log and said no one had been. She would mention it to them when she got back to the office. I thanked her, and off she trotted.

It then dawned on me why I’d ordered so much stuff for the freezer. Last week Richard said he would sort the dates of everything in the fridge and freezer for me. I knew I had some meat products I did not want and hoped that Richard would take them off my hands. So there will be plenty of room to get today’s stuff in it. But Richard had another call, and the lad was knackered from his shift yesterday and could sort the freezer for me. Hope he feels better and gets a good break. I’ll miss the lad, but glad he’s got a holiday to recover from his exhaustion.

I started blogging again, and someone from Meridian called me on the landline. She said they were very sorry about this morning, and a Carer is on their way to me now. I said thank you. Shame it had to happen for the seventh time since I’ve been paying them to come. Obviously, Julie had told them for me. Hey-ho, and pickle my walnuts!

Carer Valerie came into the flat, and she got my medications given. She asked me what happened with the morning’s Carer. I said I’ve no idea. Valerie said about me shaking a bit. I thought it had stopped, but apparently not. There is constantly shaking of some sort with Peripheral Neuropathy, but it was more violent this time and uncontrollable now. Thanked Val, and off she trotted. Within half an hour of taking the medicines, I think the shaking was back to normal.

I’m struggling to get the blog updated now. The concentration has been destroyed by all the complications of the day. I took the comfort of some sort in knowing things should calm down now… Did I say that?…

I got a text message, “Feet today!” reminder came in: The foot lady at the hairdressing salon told me it’s my day to have the feet done! Argh! No time to get nowt done!

4 Then it really irritated me that I needed Porcelain Throne visit number four! Just when I didn’t need it, I’m not going to be popular for keeping them waiting when I get down to the salon… mind you, I don’t expect I was before. Hehe! The evacuation was more liquified this time, but it was over quickly.

So, I fumbled and bumbled about again, and I got myself down to the ground floor salon. The looks I was greeted with said, “Oh, here it is, about time too!” They got the feet tended to, not without the odd ‘Argh’ emitting from my lips. I paid the £25, not cheap for getting one’s toenails done, but some other options are dearer. It’s terrible enough forgetting things, but then I gave my toe a stubbing against the airer as I went to get a quick wash. She gave me an appointment card, and I gave out some cans of treats. Then hastened ASAP back to the flat, fearing I may have missed the hospital’s call… Ain’t life a git some days? Well, most in my case!

Tried to get the blogging update advanced, and Valerie (the whisperer) came in the room, apparently talking to me as I typed away on the blog. Of course, I couldn’t hear her. She was returning the laundry. Treated to a little pack of grapes and strawberries. Bless her.

I put the oven on and, got some chilli on the pan, added some spirit vinegar to it and some peas. I’ve been assured that the spirit vinegar will lessen the sharpness of the chilli. After adding the peas and getting the hob going, I took a nibble. And it works! Yee-Haa!

17:15hrs The Evening Carer arrived. The morning caller was 7 hours late, and the evening one was an hour early. They must be having problems. However, the evening medications are mostly Warfarin blood thinners, Lansoprozole for Duodenal Donald, Codeine & Paracetamol pain killer, Ramipril, Peptic Antacid, and Atorvastatin Cholesterol inhibitor. The Folfiri has been stopped for six months to assess. A shame that I missed having the nurse call every day. Hahaha!

Turned everything off and got the nosh sorted out. Vegetable chilli con carnie, with cubes of potatoes done in the oven. Nice and crispy!  I soaked it up with two of the wholemeal bread rolls.

Janet and my favourite fresh cream French horns were gobbled up after the meal. There was a smidgeon of guilt lingering though afterwards. Hehehe! A Taste and Flavour Rating of 9.3/10.

Washed the pots up and spotted the sun on its way down. Despite having a shaking bout at the time (again!), I managed to get two decent, just usable pictures of it.

I took three or four, but the others didn’t come out well. Although not as vivid as some, I thought these two represented a sort of sadness. Then again, nowadays, me not being convinced, confident, in or of something, is usual, the norm! I’m not sure why.

Got a wash, and I stripped off and got down into the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, musty, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner.

Then the Thought Storms launched into activity. Starting off with just how good my EQ was this morning with his forecast for the day!

This day’s events have made me even more confident in the validity of my EQ assessments and warnings. For once, I have indubitableness! I must, and will, never doubt EQ’s veridicality again.

But the self-despising, guilt, shame, failure, and bad judgments flowed through the Thought-Storms. It took ages for them to slow down enough to let me get off to sleep. Humph!

ODE TO THE DAY

My EQ warned me as soon as I woke up this Friday…
That day was going to be frustratingly messy!
There was undoubtedly no festivity but a lot of fetidity,
Leaving me with panicky mental fatiguability,
The unexpected, or forgot about, and incongruity,
Doreen Dementia, making things go recalcitrantly,
At times, I just accepted my increasing insanity…
And after so many mishaps, by own banality!

I lost hours getting the Liberty-Global net back on,
I hate things technical, electric, mobiles and silicon…
Turned all off and then back on…
Somehow got it going again, thereon…
Which cheered me up, but just a fraction,
For EQ’s warning, it was like a klaxon!

The carer was late; they’d forgotten about me,
Delayed medications (6-hours), causing psychoactivity,
And I got the shakes, and sweats, all involuntarily,
Took the belated tablets, and soon less shaky…happily!
Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Little Inchies lesion, bloodily…
Arthur Itis, Colin Cramps, and Peripheral Neuropathy…
Toe stubbing, painful Porcelain Throne evacuating…
Hopes for an improvement turned out to be delusorily!

Every happening seems to be unfair, conspiratorily…
With the pressure of not knowing, I shook more giddily,
I got more and more uptight, responding haughtily,
I was not coping with things, well I was… but badly,
Self-pity raised its head often, and depression, sadly
Five visits to the Throne, and, Oh, many a wee-wee!
I was faffling around, like Old Mother Riley,
Ways out and solutions were well beyond me…
I knew I was in for a long day… fiddle-dee-dee!

My thoughts and concentration, or lack of I say…
Were thataway, thereaway, thisaway, anyway…
Will this stampede of failure and confusion ever fade away?
I started to fret and worry over silly things, minutiae!
Unimportant, useless, unwanted confusing clamjamfry…
Will I ever recover common sense, memory or logicality?
Then a text message reminder was sent to me…
‘Feet Today’, Toe cutting, £25 more to throw away!

I’d forgotten about the feet, got down to the salon alreet,
Being late arriving, her greeting look was like a bleat…
Painfully had my toenails cut and oiled on both feet,
Gave them each can of plonk as a peacemaking treat
And back to the flat in a hasty retreat…
Where I made chilli, that was a pleasure to eat…
But sleep was resistant; that wasn’t so sweet!

Odes Scribed To Cause A Smile and-or Laugh – I fank you!

Inchcock & Alto-Ego Morning Spat

A cunning, underhand win for Alto!

I’d had a dream-ridden, ever-waking up, nodding off, back to kip, more nightmares, waking up… a terrible night. I even started to feel sorry for him, then realised it was me! As I reluctantly got my head together, I expected the horrendous Thought-Storms would arrive. But no! Alto-Ego Inchie was on at me like a shot…

Boy, were we both in a niggly mood!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“Do you know that you were talking and farting in yer sleep last night?… Mind you, they both made about the same sounds and sense… Hehehe!

“Oh, sod-off Alto, I’m not up to coping with your claptrap yet…”

“Who the $%&+💣 are you talking to? Wot the hecks up wiv yer?”

“Ah, Mr Know-all Alto, needs to ask me what’s up – You’re up and rattling around in my brain, that’s bad enuf! And before I can work out what day and time it is, your there, gobbing away at me! Work it out, Pugface. I had a horrible night’s non-sleep; the Peripheral Peters neurotransmitters in the legs ain’t working…!

“Ah, Tithead! La-la-la Lalala! You ain’t moved yet, so how does yer know, eh, clever clogs?” ♫  ♫

“If I could, I would likely kill you! You are so cruel and cutting – but pig-ignorant with it…”

“That’s cause I am you, yer pillock! You’ve not worked out who and what I am yet, have yer?”

“As I was saying, before being so crudely and rudely interrupted… I can generally sense when the neurotransmitters are failing or about to fail in the legs and feet…”.

“Load of tosh, I don’t feel owt wrong…”

“No, Dumbo, that’s cause you don’t have a body, innit!

“Well, it’s not my fault I ain’t human or that they assigned me to be your Alto-Ego, is it? It ain’t easy yer know, gerrin’ posted to a turd like you – we both have to make the best of it…”

Hang on, hang on, hang on… What are you up to? Where do all this ‘we’ come from? I never heard you use that word before?

“Ulterior motive in there, dogbreath, it’ll do no harm to tell yer worrits all abarght, I suppose. Is yer ready; it’s a bit complicated for an idiot wiv dementia to grasp. I’ll pretend I’m talking to a ten-year-old and choose easy words for yer…”

“This should be good, coming from you, Alto…”

I am aware the yer Doctor is not interested, and also you have the Vascular Dementia, Cataracts, Glaucoma and Saccades in yer eyes… are you following”?

“Yer…”

Well, despite instructions from the Alto-Ego Control Room to make yer life as much hell as possible, I’ve got to be fond of your deafness, Whoopsiedangleploppings, tumbles and falls. stupidity, ailments, failings and countless other inabilities…”

“You’re enjoying this ain’t yer?”

“Not half!”

“Carry on then…”

“Because you give me a laugh and entertain me when I’m just in observation mode. When yer scratched yer head and lost a pint or two pints of blood as you cut the head of the boil-off with yer nail, yesterday… That did it for me; I laughed my head off, which is not easy when you don’t have one!

“Come on, tell me…”

“Where was I?”

“I’m the one wiv dementia! Tsk! You were at; ‘I laughed my head off, which is not easy when you don’t have one!'”

“Oh, yes… be patient…” I decided to help you get some help from the medical profession. Mental, Diabetes, Fungal Lesion, Dentist, Audio clinic and Cardiology. Maybe, just to cover all of your ailments, Gastroenterology, Haematology, DVT, Orthopaedics, Neurology, Nephrology, Oncology, Ophthalmology, Otolaryngology, Rheumatology, Orthopaedics, Urology, Rheumatology, and Urology. To be on the safe side, I’ll add a psychotherapist, psychologist, psychoanalyst, psychopathologist, disorders analyst, guidance counsellor and some men in white coats…

“Are you teasing me or what, having a laugh?

“Oh, no, let me finish before you make a judgement. All will become clear of my genuine good intentions…

Well, gerron wiv it, then!”

I was aware that if I had a go at you about things today, you’d be bound to put it in a blog, see? Thus the billions of medical persons worldwide can potentially feel sorry for you and come forth with free assistance, help and advice for you?

Is that it? You dipstick!

Well, that’s not very nice, is it?

Are you aware of how many of the billions are out there that read my blog? Eh?

Erm, I’ll check my memory log; hang on…

“Whistles”…

“Humming now”…

‘Sorry to keep yer Dumbo… I just calculated some of the figures. Well, I do feel like a fool now, Hahaha! Your average day viewers total for last week was 5…, and likes were 1.5″…

Exactly! How many of them might be doctors in Gastroenterology, Haematology, DVT, Neurology, Nephrology, Oncology, Ophthalmology, Orthopaedics. Otolaryngology, Rheumatology, and Urology. Ophthalmology, Orthopaedics, Rheumatology, and Urology. Thanks for nothing, turd-breath! Let alone psychotherapists, psychopathologists, psychologists, psychoanalysts, or speak and read English, I imagine, would be nil?

Ah, but now you begin to feel a little depressed after having got your hopes up… yes?

Too true, Alto; I’m down in the dumps. I should never have believed you wanted to help me in the first place… I am a pratt of the highest order, and you should be ashamed of yourself for being so abusive, disparaging, tormenting ridiculing, soul and hope destroying antics. I feel guilty and self-loathing for being misled…

Hahaha! I know, it was a masterstroke, wonnit? The way I strung you along, I’m chuffed to bits! And it’ll get me some bonus points from the Alto Management; it’ll likely make my cunning subterfuge the highest placed for the day of all the Altos! Hehehe!

ALTO-INCHIE

INCHCOCK

Oh, Rollock’s! Now, I’ve sunk down into a full-blown, damned Dracula Depression!

I know, Har-har! Gullible Inchcock sinks into despair! Made my day! Hahaha!

Part of Inchcocks Make Them Laugh Series

Inchcock Today Diary – With Ode

Morning each!

Inchies Morning Ode

Wot a start to the day, confusion, logic had been abducted!
The Thought-Storms rampantness; I was abducted,
Fears and worries abounded, leaving me so abstracted…
I rose to worry more; I was totally distracted!

So many things flooded, but nothing with any merit!
Cataracts, Glaucoma, Saccades, fungal lesion, all did wherrit,
If common sense was a ballot, I’d lose my deposit!
These thoughts were unnice, not in friendship…

I got depression until Carer Richard came…
He was in a rush, he had a limited timeframe,
But listen to me moaning, all the same,
Lots in common, we both have an oversized wame!
Neither of us bothered about profit or gain…
Such a decent sort; I’m so glad he came!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

INCHCOCK TODAY

Monday 4th April 2022

I sort of burst awake; the Thought Storms were straight at me, not relenting for hours. Shame, guilt, worries etc., flowed into my mind one after the other… Guilt was the predominant emotion, along with a close second for shame! Possibly my worst attack of them ever?

I rose within a minute from the second-hand c1966 recliner, and I took a weak unwilling wee-wee in the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). Then took it into the wet room to empty and clean and refresh. While in there, I decided to get the ablutions done early.

I think I felt that a shave and shower might free me from the Dracula Depression that had me firmly in its grasp this morning. I fear I didn’t think about the time, so early in the morning and the shower’s noise, and just plodded on unthinkingly. Shame! I’ve never done that before?

I was still not fully engaged in the concentration stakes, taking the jammie bottoms off… I took a tumble backwards… but fear not! I took them off in the hallway (I’m so glad now that I did, too!). Cause I benefited from my back hitting a stack of clothes hanging on the hallway hooks! And took a slow cushioned ride down to the carpet. Hehehe! Although, I didn’t laugh then, until after I had succeeded in getting back up onto my feet.

The teggie-cleaning went fine. The cleaning of the final lesion was no more painful than usual. Then the showering… I realised what time it was as soon I heard noise from the shower unit and felt somewhat culpable. So, I decided a swift shower was in order…

With the rushing about, I hit my head on the power box and carried out a most painful toe-stubbing on the trolley wheel. But I didn’t dwell on these things, for I was in such haste to turn of the power and noise it was making. Then I got around to doing the shaving…

Which turned out to be a rather colourful event… blood red!

There were no nasty nicks… but countless tiny ones all over the double-chin and neck! Unless there are more that I can’t see. Hehe!

But I knew the solution and had a bottle located nearby. But I managed to drop it, and it landed on the floor via the right foot! Also, the bottle did not break! The Brut aftershave was liberally used to stop the bleeding a little. It’s suitable for this job, it stings a bit, but it works!

Then, I turned my attention to medicationalisationings. Little Inchies fungal lesion… I got that out of the way first cause there was never any doubt it would be the most painful. And it was!

After cleaning, Harold’s Haemorrhoids were given an expensive but oh, so cooling covering of Germoloid ointment.

Then the eye drops were carefully and meticulously put in the Saccades suffering right eye. I missed, and the brown liquid ran down the cheek through the moustache and into the mouth. Tsk!

Put the olive oil into the ear canals. And fought to get the socks on, waiting to put a second lot of oil in. I’m supposed to wait for ten minutes in between each application. I didn’t use Sock-Glide-Glenda today. Not that I’m afraid of injury or sick of getting bruises and welts from the damned plastic covered, metal monstrosity of a sock glide, of course.

Did the second oiling of the ear holes. Nae, bother there.

Then did the nasal clearing.

Then I got the manufactured by ZDEAC Daguan Electrical Appliance (Zhongshan Company Ltd) in Guangdong, Sphygmomanometer, to do the Blood Pressure. It had gone down a lot, but a smidge high still, in the red zone, but not by a lot. The body temperature was pleasing at 34.6°c. I think the pulse was 71 bpm. I can’t read it in this photo. Not one of the betterer efforts.

Went to make a brew of Glengettie. The rain was still coming down in torrents.

Carer Richard arrived, in a bit of a hurry, as he had an extra call to make. While he was sorting the medications out, stock wise, I got a message on the phone from Iceland, telling me the delivery was on its way…

It seems I’ve done it again… made a right cock-up. I was sure I’d ordered this for the following Monday? I got a bit hot under the collar with myself about getting things wrong again! I told Richard quickly about m morning so far, and he said he could see the blood on my neck from the shaving farce. He had to fly, taking the waste bags to the chute with him on the way for me. Bless him.

After he’d gone, I seemed to calm down and went into ‘Just accept things’ mode. Sort of que sera, sera. Got on the computer and found the photo of the nosh last night that I could not get to load was with those the reader let me this morning, I think.

Two out of date (only just) desserts, a banana (going soft), bacon two days out of date, tomatoes and some Harry Ramsdens chips that were delightful. Rating: 702/10.

Then, the Iceland delivery arrived. No substitutes either! Hurrah! Some more of the excellent chips, a big bag too. Gastro fishcakes that were on offer if one bought three boxes and mug here did, three with smoked haddock in them and three with mushy peas in them – as the same price? Noughat flavoured iced lollies and a box of beef and black bean sauce in this top picture.

Mushrooms, microwave veg sausages, and some pasties here. I used some mushrooms to go in today’s potato and leek, erm er… whatchamacallit? Stew, I suppose, or thick soup?

Getting things to fit in the fridge was a work of art and meant a lot of hard work and throwing out some items to make room for the new stuff. I doubt I could get a matchbox in there now, not that I want to, of course. It is fuller than it’s ever been! I even took the fishcakes out of their box to get them in the freezer and other things, as you can see.

On the other hand, the fridge, after storing everything away, seems to be able to accommodate more foodstuffs, still?

Back to the wet room, hoping for an easy evacuation like yesterday was, it was almost a pleasure… But no! A reversal of fortunes, I’m afraid. Tough as nuts, firm but not rock-hard, plenty of plasma-like liquid and a smidgeon of blood. You can’t win ’em all! Washed and off to the kitchenette.

Where I got the leeks and potatoes cut up and in the pan. Then to the computer to finish off yesterday’s blog. Which I did and posted to WP. Then answered and made some comments on WordPress. Replied to Lovely HRH Lisa’s Email. I Managed to get some more photos loaded.

Facebooking for a while, then went to season the leeks & spuds. 

Diced some mushrooms, water chestnuts, and tomatoes, and into the pan they went. Adding and tasting after each addition; basil, tom puree, light soy sauce, Henderson’s relish, spirit vinegar, liquid sea salt and veg seasoning cubes. On a low light, and I kept going in to stir it.

Made a start on this blog; it’s getting late now. Compared to this morning, I’m rather chirpy… not happy, not content, yet glad to be free of the dark gloom of depression.

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang from the door chime. It was Josie returning the things from her Sunday lunch. She said she enjoyed the leek and potato chilli.

I got the veg chill served up. Settled to watch some TV while I ate the delightfully tasty meal. I ate it all, which bodes of Porcelain Throne action in the morning… Oh, dearie me, yes! Taste: 8/10.

I then proceeded to fall asleep with the tray with emptied dish, spoon, jelly pot and a few slices of uneaten bread on my knee.

An hour or so later, I woke without the tray with the emptied dish, spoon, jelly pot, and a few slices of uneaten bread on my knee. They had fallen on the floor, creating a piece of modern art. Sorry I didn’t photo it now!

It took me a while to get it cleaned up. I made two bottles of flavoured spring water and then got down in the recliner again to try to watch the TV once more.

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang from the door chime. It was the evening, Carer. Who got the medications sorted post haste. The gal took the waste bags with her as she departed. Bless her. Bade a farewell, and I got back down in the c1968 recliner.

I thought I may struggle to get back to sleep after nodding off earlier. Bearing in mind that it took me hours to nod off for the last two nights. No problem! Zzz! But it was a short session.

Inchcocks Diaries

Diaries In Short Form

Sorry, I’ve got some photos from Friday. But little memory.
Some scribbled notes helped, what I could read if it anyway along with the photos. I had things going bonkers-wrong: The computer, the camera, I could load no images on Friday at all. Got a few on Saturday morning, then the picture app threw a funny again. I was struggling to get the Local News Snippets done… more and more frustrating. But Saturday, I got the blog finished and posted. Then, got stopped again, by the most heartwarming happenings, Sister Jane rang, and the delicious angel Jillie💜 called – she came… well, I’ll not spoil it for now…

Friday 25th February

Up at 05:50hrs. Four & a half hours kip. Prepped laundry. Then hoovered the room and kitchen. (Yes!) If you had a painfully dislodged Cathy Cartilage kneecap and hoovering with the bit of vacuum while using a walking stick and fighting off Dizzy Dennis a few times, you’d realise wot-an-‘ero, I was! Hehehe! Ablutions done.

Carer Richard arrived. I was fine up until then, really, but the memory of what took place is vague and no notes written? Not like me, that!

Onto the computer, Snippets blog started. Got the graphics from the YourArea site on the web. No photos being allowed by the darned computer again! Interesting word of the pad ‘Froir Back?’

CorelDraw to touch up and add to the graphics, and got carried away, making personal words to use file, for the odeing (Didn’t get any done until Saturday).

Now we are in Vague-land! I got something to eat and took a photo hoping that it would go on the computer in the morning. Until carer Helen arrived, I think.

Had a nasty attack from Dizzy Dennis after washing and getting the nocturnal clobber on. Can’t recall going over, and no bruises or aches anywhere in the morning, so I couldn’t have. Cartilage Cathy had been bothersome all day; I put that on the pad.

I retook some photos of the sunset.

Saturday 26th February 2022

I had no record of what time, but I got up in darkness and found myself topping up the Treats shelf? I must have done other things?

 I recall knowing that an Amazon delivery is due today and feeling a little chuffed for doing that. I think it was morning Carer Helen who called. But it’s just a guess. After she had gone, I decided that I’d hang on until Monday and call the Doctor for an appointment; things are not right at all with me. It could just be Dementia-Doreen, of course?

Got the ablutions done and back onto the blogging. It was hard going. There is no bother from DD (Dizzy Dennis), just CC (Cartilage Cathy)

Spent many frustrating hours getting the blog formulated. I worked on presenting it at long last. Posted it off, to my amazement, the card reader read the SD card, so I got them on the file post haste.

These are from Sat’s sunset shots.

Then finished off and posted the blog. Hurrah!

Sister Jane rang, we had a natter. Humph! (Although this might have been on Saturday).

Heinz bean burgers for lunch, I like ’em! (Saturday)

Jillie rang me. And decided to pop up to see me – My world lit up! I got the template for this blog done, and Jillie arrived. A hugging session later, we were chatting away and laughing – What excellent medicine that was! Jillie had brought me some sausages that she’d cooked for me – Wonderful! She got me some at Christmas, and boy, they were good then; going to have these tonight. Mmm! Thanks, Jillie, my sweetheart, 💋

When Jillie had to go, wine and treats had to be forced upon her, and I found myself singing!!!

Oh, I better check on the Amazon tracker; all good, it says it’ll be here by 21:00hrs.

Continued to work on this blog, awaiting the arrival of the evening Carer, whoever that may be. Carer Elena, I think. Wrong again, it was Carer Valerie. On her phone again. No chatting time. Gave me the medications and carried on with her phone call. I tried to get her to turn around to take this photo, but as she was on her mobile chinwagging, she wouldn’t. Hehe!

The whatever they are called on the ends of my fingers on the right hand are getting painful; When they touch anything, including keypad buttons. They look like bits of food. I spent a while trying to scrub them off. Hahaha! I think it is specs of blood from under the skin. Then going back to normal, the returning, you get what I mean. Konrad Confusion, again! Something development in the Peripheral Neuropathy, I assume.

I got the belated Health Checks done. Starting with the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, made and manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China. (Okay, as it appeared to me, a smidge high SYS) But not worrying, it’s been a lot higher. No doubt it will droppeth like a stone. Or maybe not.  Hehe!

The Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, scarily gave a reading lower than ever at 32.9°c! Nervous of this, I tried the in-the-ear thermometer. I could not get a reading, just a display of Lo?

I got today’s sunset shots onto the computer, and they are here below. (I suppose you noticed them? Hahaha! The top two were taken first. Then the kettle boiled, and I poured the tea…

Then took the second two. But I don’t know what it is! I’ve said it before, but it’s incredible how quickly the colouring changes this time of year. Naturally, there is a logical reason for this…

Doing well now… I got the photos of Valerie, the nosh and the end car park loaded. 😁

Just look at those sausages that Jillie did for me! All I had to do was reheat them Bootiful! I must ask where she got them from; these had bits of red peer in them, absolutely perfectly part-burnt, just how I love them. I could get addicted to these, which is fair cause I’m already addicted to Jillie! Thanks again, you Angel! I ate it all up, not a scrap left on the plate. The only thing not so good was the Sugar snap peas from Iceland. They usually get Nigerian; these were Egyptian and nowhere near so sweet. But, as I’d long ago had a cuddle and hug with Jillie, it didn’t matter so much. The tomatoes were sumptuous again. I ate each sausage with a slice of the thin, soft Milk Roll bread, dipped into the BBQ sauce. Wunderbar! Taste: 8.9/10

Washed the pots and meandered into the balcony to take a photo of the end car park car in the dank darkness. Eerie looking, with so little vehicular activity and no signs of life!

Then I remembered the coming any time now Amazon order. Huh! Went on the tracker site to investigate…

Carer Helen, I think arrived. Bit of brain-block as to what happened, if anything worth mentioning. I’m doing this the following morning, and the recollections of the end of Saturday are very blurry. Not that I felt terrible physically. The memories of Jillie’s visit were still zooming around in my head.

I could still taste the beautiful sausages she did for me. Mmm! I know I took a Hemp capsule cause when I got up for a wee-wee, the bottle fell from between my legs. Hahaha! Which in itself perked me up.

Sweet Morpheus and an excited brain meant it took ages to drop off. The usual first-response, of putting the TV on, searching for something interested showing, and trying to watch it – that sends me typically off at the first set of advertisements. But not tonight… Well, I watched a murder documentary, nearly all the way through, a 2-hour program as well! I needed the sleep that arrived, but of course, it meant missing the last 10 minutes or so of the programme. Tsk! But turning off the TV, and I reckon I was off into dreamland within minutes! I’m sure I had many dreams… likely with Jillie in there somewhere, but I had no recollection of any actual details, just happy thoughts.

Ode to Thought-Storm Sufferers

Together we can get through this mental breach…
Avoiding counsellors who want to preach…
I know the confusion when storms unleash…
At times, Dementia Doreen can actually be a peach!
Sometimes the Thoughts arriving, I cannot reach…
Or forget them, and start designing my wreath,
Or, I’m off somewhere fishing, the shingles of Meath?
Not for me a sunny suntanning beach…
Picking pickled walnuts from my teeth…
Making passionate love to a hairy cailleach!
But Thought Storms follow – I’m sick to my back teeth!
Today it was Tony Blair, Hitler and Edward Heath!

TTFN, each

Incorrigible-Inchcocks Saturday 13th February 2021 Diary


Saturday 13th February 2021

Croatian: Subota, 13 Veljače 2021

07:30hrs: Better late than never, Hehehe! How I heard the mobile chirping amazed me! Also, Colin Cramps was absent! Yee-Haa!

I woke to the sounds of an incoming message on my Samsung Galaxy S21 mobile phone. My version might look like a Nokia 105, that’s because it is. It was from the Covid-19 Home Testing Programme. I didn’t feel confident in my doing the test really!

I worked out that despite the mess of not getting to sleep last night, I still managed four-hours worth, which is not bad at all. And signs of the flu bug, that had all well-receded this morning.

I got a pleasant surprise when I did the Health Checks. SYS 159, DIA 83, and the Pulse down to 86, all good stuff!

The Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd, contactless thermometer, was another pleasing result, back in the green again, showing 36.8°c, down nicely thank you muchly! I took these photographs with the Kodak that to my utter amazement was working fine and dandy? Mayhaps the flu bug had affected the camera as well as me? Hahaha!

Off to the kitchenette, and got the kettle on to make a brew. (Another sign of improvement in the sore throat and taste buds!)

I used the Kodak, again on these shots of the late morning view. I’ll try again when it gets lighter to see how the camera copes. These pictures were just not the same quality of the old, now deceased Nikon, but still. The camera takes an extra shot of each photo taken, and it goes on the SD card? But these Kodak extras, are not recognised by CorelDraw (.th)? I have to keep deleting them. Hey-ho! Annoying, but I cannot find out how to change the settings, not that I’d understand the gobble-di-gook anyway.

The battery light started flashing, so I put the Kodak on charging. But within a few minutes, it had turned green? Why the red flashing? I made a brew of Glengettie, it not as tasty as usual, but much better than it has been lately.

AS I swaying about a bit getting the trousers on, for I’d realised how late it was, and with the Covid-kit possibly be arriving soon, I thought it better to answer the door with proper trousers on as opposed to the jammies. As I began to take the camera off of charge, I heard it clicking, and found out why later, when I uploaded the snaps. Another random picture was taken, it was all shaky like – I’m pretty good at handling these! Hahaha!

Got the updating done, sent off. Emailed link, Facebooking, WP reader and read the WP comments.

Jenny phoned to see how I was, that was nice of her ♥ We chatted a while.

Cleaned up little in the kitchen.

Well, I did sort the top of the fridge-freezer out a tiny bit!

Not too much, like.

I got the potatoes, onions and leeks chopped and into the crock-pot.

I got in a pickle of a mess when I was cleaning the chopping board and knife.

The Peripheral Neuropathy right arm started to jump, twitch and flail about something awful.

No injuries of any sort, but the pot went flying over and hit the window, causing me a lot of time and pain to clean up!

I trod on a tiny bit of sliced parsnip, you would not believe how it made me jump!

Then I got in a panic when I saw the time, so pressed on with starting this blog.

I went to check if the Covid kit had arrived, it was gone 14:00hrs already! It was in the letterbox. I opened the bag and took another one out of it. You should see what they expect me to to get the test done. Can you imagine if the arm, hand or leg kicks off while I’m sticking the swab up my nose or in my throat? No, I refuse to do it!

I can’t even grasp all of the instructions, not that that is important anymore. Cause I’ve got to find the nearest Priority Postbox and the web, and… register myself and the kit before doing the test! It’s weekend, so even if could do it, it would not be before Monday at the earliest!

Then, I’ve got to pack the things in a box, after I’ve made it up. A simple job for someone with cramps, Arthritis, Peripheral Neuropathy, not long had a stroke, now a diabetic, is it!

Then assuming I could manage all this, I’m to send the kit back when done. Which involves making up a cardboard box, packing everything in order as demanded, and means my going out to wherever the Priority post box is located! No! 

When I woke up this morning, feeling so much better, then Jenny cheering me up – now all I fester away thinking is; Why do they not know about my limitations. How can they expect me to carry out this test? Others have had a nurse do it for them in their flats? I am now tired, but I have to stay up for the food delivery late tonight.

I feel mistreated, all the cancellations, the offer of someone to visit me do the test, was withdrawn. Then they phoned me to ask when the nurse is calling to do it?

A reet Covid-19 cock-up!

Now I am depressed, sorry for myself, and carrying a… what the word is? Erm, bitterness, with me all the time. Should I snuff it, I’m sure they will then send someone out to help. The medics know about my falls and tumbles, banging into things, my difficulty in walking without the trolley, but not how the lack of attention, recognition, and help, is driving me potty as well! Hehehe! Do they care? Oh, who was that comedian with the catchphrase, ‘Do I look bovvered?‘ or ‘Am I bovvered?’ I liked her comedy. I could do with some humour now—bloody weekends when you can’t speak to your Doctor. If you call 111, everything seems to get more confused.

I got the nosh sorted out and moved ‘snips, carrots, potatoes and onions, from the crock-pot to the saucepan. I added half-a-jar of passata, I and a can of Hubbards Chilli-con-carne. It looks like it might be right, and I feel the taste-buds tingling at the thought of feasting in it!

I washed the crock-pot in soapy water and a non-abrasive (A little like me. Hehehe!) scouring pad. Some spots of gravy had made there way out and under the pot? After about fifteen minutes, I realised the marks were in fact screws in the pot bottom. Har-har!

I put the Made in Myanmar (Burmese), blue zip-up jacket to soak in the sink bowl, and off to get ablutions done. And what a session! A total of only five dropsies! No, I say zero, nada shaving cuts!

The showering had just one clout on the arm against the grab bar, albeit a decent one, the bruised are beginning to look artistic now. Hahaha! No probs with medicating things. And getting dressed was one of the luckiest I’ve ever had for years…

I lost balance that many times getting the lounge-pants and slippers on, it must have happened eight times at least, and not one tumble or fall. I must have had an Angel, looking after me! Yee-Haa!.

Finished off washing and rinsing the Burmese jacket, and got it hung above the sink to drip-dry. Did a little better job if it this time, if I say so myself, which I do. Haha!

A text from Amazon received, about the Amazon-Morrison order being on the way, just one item missing. That Angel of mine is with me tonight! ♥ I think the Angel, I should name her really… has been very anxiolytic to me this past hour or so, as my tension levels seem to be easing, at last.

I got the Chinese made Boot’s £33 sphygmomanometer, and the made in Hong Kong, Chinese Harpin Xian Di contactless thermometer, and carried out the second Health Checks. SYS was sneaking up a smidge, but the temperature was fine.

Did some work on this blog while I waited for the Amazon shopper to arrive.Not far away now.

The chap arrived, and he put the bags through the door for me.

I got the things put away. I was only half-with it by this stage, though being overtired methinks.

I got the things put away, and pleasant feeling that I need no shopping again for a while.

I got the meal served up. I only served a bit of it, I didn’t really feel hungry, after the turmoil of the Covid-19 test had thoroughly upset the apple-cart, mind-wise. Decent enough tasting nosh, Flavour rating 7.5/l0 given.

Washed, and got settled in the recliner in search of Sweet Morpheus. Switched on the TV as a sleep-aid.

But within seconds, Colin Cramps kicked off like last night, but he stayed a lot longer. Starting with the hands and fingers, later joined by horrendously painful, muscle-twisting agony, in both lower legs! The useless Phorpain gel was applied. After this first session, that lasted for about two hours, I was so sorry for myself, but did nod off at last.

There followed an even more painful cramp-session, and several times I was woken, in discomfort again, and again! I must mention this to the Matron when she calls. It was the worst night Cramp-Wise ever!

Inchcock Today – Thursday 13th February 2020: Mega-Whoopsiedangleplop!

2020 Feb 13

2020 tttFeb13

Thursday 13th February 2020

Greek: Πέμπτη 13 Φεβρουαρίου 2020

00 Feb 13

GM03 0.51.000:40hrs: I was dreaming about something or other, not the foggiest what it was: and in the world of fantasy, I realised I had to wake up for a wee-wee. A sort of twilight world for a few seconds, I was dreaming, but aware that it had to stop and I’d have to get up for a wee-wee? Which I did, much to the displeasure of Anne Gyna and in particular, Arthur Itis.

I got my balance, grabbed the stick, an3Wed19d wobbled-limpingly to the GPWWB (Grey-Plastic-Wee-Wee-Bucket). I really was caught out with the ferocity of the action! But it was short-lived, and the shaking took ages to clear everything. There might be some bother in this department later on, methinks!

I went to wash the dandies, and move the drying handwashing around.

The brain caught up with the activities, and the needs of the day flowed into the grey-cells. Got to go to the Podiatrist at Sherwood Health Centre, on Elmswood Gardens for a 10:00hrs appointment.

I got the kettle on, and realised I had not taken last nights medications! So, I took them and hoped that I would remember to take this morning’s late on. All confusing innit? Haha!

4Thu01WD 0.40.0. Then, in an instant, I needed to go to the Porcelain Throne, and only made it to the wet room with seconds to spare! Phew! What a messy affair it was! Lots of cleaning up to do afterwards, Phwert! Having now cleaned my hands twice in a few minutes, the hands looked paler than ever. The pins (legs) had done their daily morphing act again. Oddly, Arthur Itis’s knees looked less warped than of late, but the distortions were spread over a larger area. The difference in size (thickness) of the pins was more noticeable, too. How I feel sorry for ordinary folks. Arthur Itis’s knees were still painful, even if they didn’t look to be.

WDPH01L3Normal-kneed persons: They miss the pleasure of diurnal searching for changes. The unpredictable Clopidogrel lumps, blisters, thrombophlebitis. The blood-papsules, weals, scars, bulges, spots, bruises, welts, contusions, blemishes, dapples, maculations, and assorted findings. Not to mention the artistic Deep vein arterial, spider veins and the superficial venous thrombosis (phlebitis). The displays of iliac, saphenous, tibial, and popliteal veins can be artistic at times. And usually, the various signs of the last tumble. The ever-changing fluid retention. The change in leg size, one day the left can be more significant, the next morning the right one! As for the colouration, marvellous variations, although usually, they are both on the pale, pallid anaemic side.   So, I’m lucky, in this way. Hahaha!

I waffled on a bit there again, sorry.

WDP 10R01LI got on the computer, and did a graphic, and started on this blog, getting up to here, and it dawned on me; “You #@‡⊗%, Klutz! You’ve not finished yesterdays post off yet!”

So I made a brew, took this morning’s medications, and made a start on the Wednesday updating. (Better late than never?) Got it finished eventually! Went on WordPress reader. Then TFZer Facebooking. By then, it was time to get the ablutions done, I don’t want to be late at the Podiatrist’s appointment. The wet room session went with only three dropsies! No shaving cuts either! A smugness began to creep in as I dried myself off! I casually threw the towel over the stool in the shower and got the medicating and deodorant applied.

WDP 02lbWD 0.40.0. I leant across to turn the shower off, and pressed the start button! The towel and dressing gown beneath it, copped on an excellent dousing, as did I! Luckily, I’d only got the new PP’s and 4Thu02my socks on by then. I put the socks and towel on the flat airer to try and dry them off over the day. I dried myself again, on the other sheet, put some other socks on, wiped the shower chair and almost cried!

I’d been doing so well, as well!

I made up some bags for the waste chute and took them out across the lift lobby to the rubbish room. Opposite the flat hallway, the uncleaned, ornamental, decorative, aesthetically pleasing, quaint, but depressingly dull, picturesque windows caught my eye. I don’t know why I said that?

4Thu02cI assumed this on the left, is the new fire alarm on the ceiling, no wires attached yet, but perhaps they are above the new false roof they had been erecting yesterday? It looks like a complicated job they have taken on. And of course, it has to be done on all fifteen floors.

The state of the lobby carpet, we will have to put up with. The task at hand is, by nature, a messy job. So I don’t think there is much point in cleaning anything up yet… is there?

Back to the flat and got things ready for the Podiatrist visit. Set off out, through to Windood Court, and handed nibbles out to the Untersturmfhreress ILC Warden-Guards. I met Christine and an unknown-to-me lady tenant in the link passage. Again they left me in their wake. Gawd, they’re quick! I got to the Winchester Court lobby, and Angela told me that Roy had another fall and was taken into the fall-team at the Hospital. They were there for ages, it was all busy and hustle. He’s home now, but not very well. Poor old Roy, he keeps bouncing back, and long may he do so.

Out to the bus stop, a very quiet gang this morning. Malcolm giving his daily news report to the others. Haha!

4Thu05a

A chinwagging session on the way down the hill. I think we all got off in Sherwood. I walked up to the crossing and over the road up the hill to right down to the Sherwood Health Centre, on Elmswood Gardens.

Feb01

WDPh 01WWH0.51.0 Where I fear I discovered I had made a cock-up with the timing! The receptionist frowned, and asked me what time my appointment was for? I replied full of confidence, “Ten o’clock!” As she perused her listing, it all came back to me! It should have been 08:30hrs! How the hell I got this wrong is beyond even me! The receptionist rang the podiatrist to see if she could fit me in. Then directed me to wait in a hidden corner passage chair until they found out if I could be accommodated, or not!

Humiliation, embarrassment, disgrace, self-hatred, shame, impecuniosity, ignominy and mortification, were a few of the sensations I felt at the time! I wish I asked the Doctor yesterday about how to fight-off senility! Humble-pie replaced what mini-modicum of pride I had left! I stood humbly near the door waiting to be either forgiven, lambasted or refused treatment.

It was most likely only ten minutes or so later, that the podiatrist came to me, (but it seemed so much longer) proffering a look that said out loud; “You Clot!” My pathetic apologies and genuine excuses were listened to with surprising understanding. A warmth came over me, as she told me to follow her, adding, “Don’t Worry!” She may never know how comforting and easing that was to me! ♥ Or maybe she did, and that’s why she said the words, with a smile as well! I think she understands my addlepatedness. ♥ She soon did the feet, in record time I reckon. I gave her a can of Gin & Tonic in thanks.

4Thu06I thanked the receptionist on the way out, and I decided I had been lucky in the way they had treated my obliviating.

4Thu08My spirits rose a tad, as made my way to the bus stop, to hibernate away in the flat, and get some blogging and graphics done, or at least try to.

When I arrived at the bus shelter, the rain began to trickle down. I’d hoped some Winwoodonians might be there to catch the L9, as usual. Then I realised I was a little early. Sure enough, they started to arrive. Christine and Welsh William from the Coral bookies, then Penny and Shirley came to join us. A couple of the 4Thu09new Woodthorpe Court tenants were there, no, one of them. She seemed a lively sort of gal. Quick-witted. As I took this snap from the bus stop, I realised that the Booze Shop on the corner of Hall Street had closed down. Another Sherwood shop kicks the bucket. Oh, dear!

4Thu10Our bus arrived early, and we all climbed on board and were soon back at the flats. I got off last, to avoid catching anyone with my wheels, and Panny and the new gal were shooting off, I tried to catch them, but they were too fast for me. So I shouted out, “Oy! Zola Budds, hang on!” To my utter amazement, they did! But getting between two chatting women is a scary thing! Hahaha! They soon got ahead of me again. But Penny waited and opened the swipe door for me, bless her! ♥ After the other lady got off, Peny spoke to me for the 35 seconds it took to get to my floor. We said our farewells, and I got back to the apartment.

4Thu11Made a mug of tea, and took the afternoon medications. Then on the computer to sort the photos and update this blog. It took me a few hours, then I tried to get some graphics done. But the weariness befell on me.

I took a blind shot of Chestnut Walk, as I got the nosh prepared. I took me a long time for several reasons:

  • The cheesy potatoes I’d decided on, needed so much work to mix and mash!
  • WD 0.40.0. The cheesy potatoes were put in the oven to brown off, I checked on them later, and then I decided to turn the oven on!
  • WD 0.40.0. a Washing up, I dropped the mixing bowl, Humph! Clearing the mess up I’d made took a while!

4Thu12However, despite my hindrances and faffing about, my meatless meal went down a right treat Why meatless? I forgot to put the pork & pickle pies on the plate. Realising this after I’d got down in the second-hand, £300, c1968 recliner and had started eating it. And was just too tired to bother.

The cheesy potatoes, (I thought I’d made to much) was eaten with the rest of the meal, with great delight and much savouring of the great flavour. A Taste Rating in 8.8/10.

I put the emptied-with-pleasure tray on the other chair. And turned on the TV. Adverts were on at the time, as I waited for ‘The Interceptors’ program to start. Zzzz!

I woke with a start, hours later. Sure, that noise had woken me up. I put the hearing aids in and listened. Well, I had to take the dinner things to get washed, and I was not confident whether I’d taken the evening medications or not, so I had to get up anyway, and could have a look around for any signs of what made the noise at the same time. Did you note that? Logicality of thought from Inchcock – and, when he’d just woken up?

4Thu24WD 0.40.0. I was taking the tray with me, and the four-pronged walking stick to the kitchen. When I got a bit of a wobbled on. Resulting in my giving myself a toe-stubbing against the Ottoman. I grimaced, uttered a few silent, well-chosen oaths, and carried on, almost knocking over the corner stand of bric-a-brac and knick-knackery. 

Luckily, my arm only went through the second shelf, knocking over some photographs, and I stopped myself falling onto it by using the corner of the wall, handily placed for me to use! Hahaha!

Thank heavens it didn’t go over! I’d have still been clearing it up now! So, a bit of bad (painful), then good fortune almost at the same time?

I could not find anything that might have caused the sound that woke me up, but it must have been loud to stir me from sleep with no hearing aids in, and the headphones on?

4Thu13I washed the pots, then took a snap of the evening sky. The sun seemed out a little late?

I returned to the £300, second-hand, near-dilapidated, gungy-beige coloured, c1968, sometimes working, uncomfortable, rickety, rinky-dinked, rattling, rusty, resurrected, reconditioned, recalcitrant, recidivating and rotting-away, recliner, with its bits of radicchio in the creases still being found after last weeks Whooopsiedangleplop of my dropping of the salad plate.

Settled again, to try and watch some TV, but the mind-storming began. Eventually ~I nodded-off, and into a dream of mix-up mystifications.

Ah, well!