THE SUICIDAL TORY FUTURE
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Got bedded down last night, well, this morning at around 03:20hrs, and low & behold, 
was waiting, ready to start again. But I did get off eventually and had nearly three hours of bliss. I would have stayed in the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner for longer; Unfortunately, Dementia Doreen’s compatriot, 
, convinced me on waking, that it was Monday! So I thought I had a delivery coming between 7 & 8, and it was already 07:15hrs; a semi-panic-mode was engaged and I got up in a bit of a rush; Dizzy Dennis visited, lost balance, and I sat down again, with a foggy head.
Then I realised it was Sunday…
The Night Pouch
At first glance, I thought I’d been mysteriously passing spaghetti through Little Inchie and 
. Hehehe! Too dark a colour.
The legs look a little rough again.
No pains with them, yet.
Got some spuds in the crock pot.
Then felt the need for the 
.
Well, 
was done after three days. But of course 
meant a mess to clean up.
Waste Bags Sorted.
Carer Rahmat arrived. Did the issuing of the medications, eye drops, painkillers & Peptac were given. A little natter, which I appreciated. Took her BP and temperature. Very good, see above.
I felt so different again this morning. Plain weary, but the balance was much better. I got on with the mammoth job of catching up on yesterday’s blogging. Things started annoyingly…
Amazingly, I changed the Wi-Fi option and it came back! Very slow work this time. I feared I might even fall asleep in the computer chair. I must try to get some decent sleep in.
I was amazed again, at how the time flew by – it was the midday call already. The blog was making progress, slowly. Rahmat at last accepted a drink I offered a choice of. Bless her!
Got the blog posted at long last. And made a start on the Ode for today’s Inchy Today. I think it took me over three hours, and then later I found spelling mistakes in it. 
, I think my concentration was getting far worse the more tired I got. 
Still, could be worse… couldn’t it?
Still struggling with the editing, and I forgot all about taking any photos until early evening. I’d been nibbling; in fact, I ate all of the remaining Le Petit bikkies!
A banana, a choc ice, an orange ice lolly, and as of now 19:10hrs, I’ve not made or wanted a mug of Glengettie?
This is singularly worrying. It’s never happened before? Could it be the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchie to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me!
Very peculiar situation. Not only not drinking tea, but failing to take photos of the clouds for my pareidoliaing!
I took a snap of the afternoon sky and grabbed another orange lolly from the freezer. Hahaha!
Bootiful!
Continued with the blog for several slow-moving hours, and went to take photographs of the later evening. I was struggling then 
and 
were making it difficult for me to control the camera and use the selection buttons, but I had to give up.
Carer Benjamin arrived. I hadn’t heard him, cause even if I had hearing aids in, I couldn’t hear the dooorchime when in the kitchen or wetroom. He was right behind me and made me jump a smidge. Which brought a much-needed smile. He’d been standing there a while and noticed how I was struggling with the Kodak. He whipped out his mobile phone and took these photos for me, bless his cotton socks.
Then a closer shot of the houses.
That was kind of Benjamin.
So I took a snap of the lad.
Offered a cold drinkie in thanks, and he got the medications sorted. Then the eye drops were put in. He’s a clever lad, and noticed the shaking in my… well, all over really. Hehehe!
He’ll be back, just like Arnie, later for the Catheter night bag fitting. After Benjamin departed, I got on with updating this blog, to here. But mental fatigue, mistake-making and lack of sleep made me stop. I hope I’ll be back later too.
Took this shot of the attractive early-night clouds.
Did some more blogging catch-up, and then Carer Benjamin returned for his last visit. During which, he took this shot with the Kodak, of the scratches & bruises on the left leg 0 which must have been acquired, Thursday, on the last of the 
falls, I’d not noticed, but sharp-eyed Benjamin did.
.
He also noticed that the leg was swelling up, compared to the state of the right one. One battered body, one distorted brain,
hearing problems, seeing problems, money running out at a fast rate, 
, 
problems; 
bleeding at the point of entry of the catheter tube. 
is visiting much more often lately, and the previously nocturnal only , is now apparently on a new 24/7 roster. My 
are scarily getting more frequent… the mind seems to just lose blocks of time altogether, and forever. None have ever come back to me, and those hours or minutes remain a mystery? Maybe this 
is making things worse?
Just thought I’d mention them. To help whippersnappers who just may read this, to know what they can expect. So, keep on with the cannabis; it helps. (Guilt developing!)
I bedded down in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly sickening beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue collecting recliner. But refused to let me sleep, even gave me a few sharp awakenings. I got up a few times, and wobblingly carried and 
to the kitchen to take some photos of the night skies
Sunset, taken earlier.
Blissful!
Later it looked like I had a monster on the horison.
A long time later, the monster was still there?
Back to try to sleep again, and I realised how little had been passed urine-wise, into the night pouch.
Took a photo with the flash on…
.
A perfect colour though. Bet it will have darkened by morning.
Not sure when I managed to get to sleep. But recall that had me wakened twice, all the other jerking-awakes were due to 
.
May Your Fortunes and Festivities Ferment with Good Food too!
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Excellent shade of urine this morning. A fuller bag as well!
Another bad one is above
Got the waste bags sorted from the bins
The Porcelain Throne was visited.
Then I started the 
.
as per usual. I tried the Sudocrem as the Germoloid and Germolene had very little left in each tube. And not much chance of getting any more. But it is not effective, really. It went on 
, then painfully onto 
. I didn’t get any olive oil for the ears either, so used what drop I had left sparingly, and this was not good, as my hearing was so much worse than usual.
Some now water papules coming up on the left leg
You can see the fluid building up near the ankle bone.
and Spray was applied
Made a brew of Thompson Gold tea.
after an hour or so, it accepted my complaint.
I sent these photos in. They said someone would contact you, but I’ve heard nothing from them, yet. 
The form to fill in, well, a part of it.
The driver took the bags through to the kitchen for me.
Some cleaners put away
Panini rolls; went into the freezer, and I took out a loaf of wholemeal to defrost. The desserts, Rustlers and soy balls went in the fridge, and the bananas were on the shelf.
Took this later shot of the puffer clouds.
and the Landline Flashed. I was tempted to leave it, but, rightly as it happens, I had an idea (it was right, too! From my EQ) 
it might be Sister Jane, so I rose up and answered the telephone. I was not fully compos mentis, but we had a good chin-wagging session. Which, confused and tired as I felt, I did enjoy. Jane is going in for her Glaucoma operation on Wednesday. I wonder if I could get there to show her support? If I remember, I’ll ask the Carer in the morning to see if the 
people can fit me in for a ride to the EENT? I’d love to get to show her some attention. I’ll do that! I felt a smidge better after nattering and listening to Jane. ♥
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A discussion with Alto-Inchie ensued
:
: Wot, yer on abarght now?
uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner… to 
contraption.
The flow had stopped flowing, and the day bag was a much deeper colour than the night bag. I was backing up, and not allowing me to pee involuntarily. As would be expected, but still a surprise to me.
Emptied the night ppouch then the day bag, and what a difference in colour!
Carer Chris later identified the two mixed together as a level four on the NHS chart. I think the tubing must have gotten trapped or twisted in the night. It looked okay this morning, and after a bit of jiggling and tube-squeezing, it flowed all right
Took a snap of my ankles, but it turned out to be a terrible photographic effort. I swapped the night sunglasses for the 8-year-old day, cracked lens ones.
. Then get the full works done of the 
session tackled. With the aim of beating last week’s record-breaking 1hr-35 minutes time!
.
No idea how I managed it, cause I was using nothing sharp, the somehow the back was bleeding after I’d Phorpained it?
Both legs and ankles had specks of blood. But more amazing to me was the
were all spouting water out?
.
Carer Chris returned. Tablets, Phorpained the back for me, and Peptac was given. The lad then rang the District Nurse to ask about the eye-drop staking dates. He was told we have to ring the doctor, which he did for me. 
.
Will I ever have another good, problem-free day? 
.
Well, well, as Victor Meldrew on the TV said: 
I’m getting fed up with this crap!
,
gal. Got a grasp of the new procedure eventually. It’s so complicated. No Ophtha on the last call. We spent a while working out the procedure needed. I explained about the day bag not getting much urine, and my stomach was even bigger than usual. Thus, I forgot to ask for the night bag to be attached. Then again,
Got some food made because Liberty Global have done in my resistance to their dirty deeds! 
Bootiful!
Flavour-Rating: 6.5/10.
; the urine began to flow, but very slowly indeed. Then even though I was guzzling the soda water, it stopped suddenly. I was pleased in the morning that more had got through, but the tube and day bag was chocker-blockers with urine waiting for transit? Haha!
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SMUG-MODE Adopted
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. Carer Richard told me later it was Grade seven on the NHS Urine colour docket. A bit dark? I’ll try to drink more water today.
immediately. So I did. Much less messy this morning. It seems that 
had made a counter-attack for command of this evacuation. I lot of effort was needed from me to get things started and moving. Painful and bloody for 
.
Cleaned the backside and ointmentated the rear end with Germoloids.
I found the missing toothbrush after several days of searching. It had fallen or been dropped, of course; out of sight and landed on the cleaning cloth that was a similar colour. I wouldn’t have found it but for a slight 
(Hard to believe, I know!) I dropped the Dettol bottle, bent to retrieve it and hit my shoulder against the sink; that’s when I saw it. I took no chances and used the 
little picker upperer to get it.
losing blood, I must try to be careful. I just hope that 
doesn’t join in with them. Then, I did mayhap the riskiest job of 
every morning; getting the PPs on. Which is always a painful task and often one with 
tendencies and risks. But not this morning; the pain was there, of course – but no injuries! 
And not only, but also, I used the cheaper grey ones, which tend to split or tear occasionally, but again; Not this morning!
The sweat rash was less irritating as well this morning.
Even more good luck here; The feet, ankles, ulcers, and water papules were all looking good.
.
Even filling the bowls of water from the kitchen to The not-working or refilling W.C. water tank, didn’t bother poor old 
so much as it usually does. Mind you, knocking the shoulder against the sink earlier, did set off 
, and so I was as careful as I was possible not to spill any water or drop a bucket, and I went in slow-motion, almost shuffling my feet flat on the floor, slowly along. But 
Shirley was only giving micro shakes at this time. How kind of her! Checked the taps were off, and off to the kitchen to get the kettle on and took this photographicalisation of the view.
I took a snap of the being-done-up house near the bottom field.
Sounded from the door chime, and in came my treasured INR, Anticoagulation, DVT Deep Vein Thrombosis, Warfarin phlebotomy Nurse Hristina. To take my blood. That cheered me up! ♥ Lovely lady.
I had some brekkers.
17:50hrs: So light out there.
.
visit, and calls from Sister Jane, Carers extra calls with the medications (Fetched my Carer Richard for me, a grand chap.
– Really thick! 
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My immediate thought was that I had done something wrong.
In the flapping about, I nearly forgot to take the morning’s breakfast medications. Hehe!
when I started lifting the bowls of water that were needed to refill the non-working W.C. water tank.
.
I got the potatoes out of the oven. Just the one burnt finger, well, knuckle on the finger.
Head down again, but the earlier ease of drifting off had departed. The 
rampaged through my brain, with the wicked assailant and brain invader 
, seemingly mixing up the usual bunch of fears, sorrows, worries, regrets, failures, disappointments, quandaries, anxieties and degradations. 
. Then spent two Thought-Storm-free hours, but waking every few minutes with the regulation pullulating jolting jerks. 
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The poor gal ♥. 
was giving me a hard time getting my messages across. Medications were given, and I think he checked the taps and the stove for me. Took the waste bag with him. 
During the preparation, I dropped the basin…
. Spilt the gravy on the stove.
Certainly not an attractive-looking feast in the slightest!
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Apart from the return of 
and 
, the day began well.
.
I got some spuds in the slow cooker to do later.
done.
may be sleeping. I think the ablutioning took about two hours, counting the medicationalising.
Had a peep at the progress of the house being updated and extended.
I think! The fridge was looking sadly low on supplies? But I’ve got an Iceland order coming today… Well, I think I have… no I’m certain one is coming today… It is Saturday, isn’t it? I wish they would make it easier to remember somehow; then again, I’d still get confused if they did.
The most kind deliveryman carried the bags through to the kitchen for me. Much appreciated, I gave him a choice of nibble treats in thanks.
Checked to see if Liberty-Global-owned Virgin Media had come back online yet… Hehehe! Nope!
away.
and sauce. I had one later on; not bad at all.
bleach. 
was even sloppier than the previous attendance.
I pressed on and finally got the Friday blog done; eleven hours after starting it! Then took a photo of the being upgraded house. Again! Seems I forgot I’d already done it.
No sooner had I scribbled this down on the notepad. It went down again!
Crying and stamping my feet would have been an option. Along with gnashing teeth (although this was not a good idea, what with 
giving me stick)
Then, the computer proceeded to confuse me beyond limitations! 
Got the ready meal made and spuds sliced and on the plate.
kitchen floor and burst open. And hitting my head on the corner of the counter when bending down to pick it up… well, that hurt a bit!
potatoes, Desiree. A pot of lemon mousse and a hungry Inchie to eat it. And jolly-nice it was, too! Taste: 7.8/10.
.
Said my farewells and thanks and took this photographicalisation through the kitchen window of the night’s heavy rain.
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and 
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were so bad, I wondered how I even got the three hours in that I did manage! This probably inspired the ode above?
later were not pleasant. I took off the night pouch from 
The plates-of-meat looked in decent nick.
were joined in their attack formation by my 
Pretty glum out there.
Did a close-up of rectangular eyes.
Wot? Me? Worry!
At least Iceland had some of the little potato-bake potatoes in stock.
Bread thins, tomatoes, potatoes & veggie oxo cubes.
No shortages of fodder here!
Topped up the Carer, Nurses, Drivers’ treats.
Low calorie treats (mostly).
The bloody 
plant butter lathered on them.
Go forth in Peace…
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causing much bleeding and hassle
efforts
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Good, Morning!
Food Delivery. I’d just finished refilling the W.C. water tank for the second time this morning and 
Morrison’s had some fresh veg in stock!
Porridge, beetroot, milk, Shloer and treats for the callers and nurses.
Got two of the Desiree red potatoes in the crock pot.
Took these shots of the sky and clouds, and I did a spot of jolt decent ‘Peaceful-Pareidoliaing’ for a while.
Plenty in these two for any pareidoliain to enjoy.
Hours of blog work later, I sliced the boiled potatoes and got them into the oven to crisp and toughen up to go in the soup.
Got the ready-cut vegetable in the saucepan.
Added some more seasoning to taste.
Got the baked potatoes added, served up and feasted! I’d left some in the pan to warm up tomorrow… it seemed a good idea…
What a mess! I did my bestest to salvage the saucepan…
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First photo after the calamity of carrying the water from the kitchenette to refill the still unmended, non-working W.C. tank.
Took another shot from the same place.
I got deep into concentrating on the blog work.
Then, I do like this title; The QMC Haematology, Anticoagulation, Deep Vein Thrombosis, Warfarin nurse called to take my blood sample to check the INR level. Sweet Hristina ♥
My Pareidoliaing came to the fore when I looked at yesterday’s photo above. Danged if I can see it now, but I saw a pig’s face and snout in the photo. This encouraged me to make this graphic. Blown if I can see it now… but it’s well late in the day before I got to doing this blog, and my eyes are always worserer when I get tired.
Afternoon shot, taken when I went to the kitchen to make my first mug of Glengettie tea. (I said I was feeling odd, didn’t I?).
Noticing that a local house was having an extension built.
The leg was itching underneath the day pouch.
Evening shot.
Pareidoliaing opportunity here?
Carer arrived. I got on the computer after the gal 
was coming on. After two days of hairy-fairyness and feeling out of it, this came almost as a shock to me. The depths of misery flooded my every essence, and I genuinely feared for my sanity – I wasn’t coping well at all with this bout of sudden despondency. 
Yet as I had two, almost at the same time, this seemed to bring me back to 
accompanied by the day-long pains from 
An 
sausages in the fridge, with a good splashing of BBQ sauce. Two bread rolls and a pot of strawberry dessert. Very nice simple nosh; I was too tired to bother with anything fancy. Flavour-Rating: 7.10.
, apart from the pain they left me in, they seem to have had no lasting detrimental implications now at all?
! However, the combined forces of