Inchcock: Saturday 12th November 2022

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

So, listen to this, you may not believe it, my maties:
I woketh up and soon had it worked out that I’d been asleep for very nearly eight hours! EIGHT HOURS! Danged well staggering!
I didn’t write the time on my memory pad, but it was almost light when I went to make a brew and take these two photos through the kitchen window. I didn’t make the tea after all and made for the wet room to get the Ablutionalisationing done. Collecting the clothes needed for afterwards, with me. 
The teeth-cleaning triggered , and it bled a fair bit. The shaving went well, just two teeny-weeny nicks, and they didn’t bleed much at all.
At had to divert to the before getting into the shower. That didn’t go so well. A smidge messy, it seems that is making a fight out of it, for control of the evacuations with . He’s ahead at the moment, and a messy result that needed much cleaning up and disinfectioning.
Amazingly one of the tiny on the neck started bleeding after I’d looffered the back. It reminded me of that Hotel horror movie. Hehehe! I wanted to take a photograph cause it did look scary with the blood swirling around the drain. But I hadn’t taken the camera in with me. Shame, that would have looked great in the blog! Tsk!
Being as it was Saturday, I decided to put the jammies back on with the heavy dressing gown. No deliveries (I thought at the time), nurses, only the carers to come today. (How even I can forget that the Iceland order was being delivered today...
Made a brew, did the and on the computer to feed the figures in the analyser a create the graphics. In the Red Hypertension – 1 zone again, but not too far away from the Amber. Content with this.

 

 

 

The Iceland man cometh
I remembered he was coming the moment I saw that…

I got the bags inside and sorted them out. I did wonder why I’d bought
the Starbucks Coffee at first.
But as I went on sorting the other stuff out, I remembered!
It was on offer at very nearly half the normal price. So I thought I get some in, in case the carers or nurses like them.
I may have made a mistake. If they do like them, I can’t afford to get any more at the full price, like.

But I can’t really see anyone liking them; cold coffee?
Got the bottles of wine for Christmas pressies. Two items short, but no substitutes, so that was good. Bread and Vegan pie missing.

  Arrived: it was during this visit that I had a mind-blank, I think. I know I was talking almost non-stop… or was I? Oh, I don’t know.
Many hours later, I sort of came around a lot and found this was the only other photo on the SD card.
Nothing concrete in the memory box, but maybe I was seeing this and thought about how active and fun-loving I was in those days. Or, maybe even proud of winning my first-ever angling cup fishing match award? Most likely, I was feeling guilty for fishing in the first place?
I had been working on CorelDraw and Excel doing a blog. I had no idea what time it was, and as I turned to look at the clock…
Came in. I reckon I was nattering away again. As Jodie was picking up the bags to leave, she said she could not get in the key safe. I went out to her, and we both tried again, but no luck. Must mention this to Deana or Julie.

I took some photos of the evening view.

Better check on the taps and stove. make sure I’ve not left anything that might be during my absence of awareness hours.

I tried catching up[ on the blogging.
Spent a few hours at it and realised things were not going well.

Which brought to mind the appointment at the Mental Health place regarding Doreen Dementia.
The address is confusing and long-winded; I’ll have a look at the Google map if I remember.
Hazelwood House, The Coppice, Highbury Hospital, Highbury Road, Bulwell, Nottingham NG6 6DR.
The bits of the letters and pamphlets I can read (and forget so easily). tell me:
Bring your Medications, Eyeglasses & hearing aids.
Wear a face mask. Use your own toilet before leaving home.
Bring only one carer/relative with you.
Bring your own drink if needed.
You must arrive for your appointment early.
Try not to be more than 5-minutes early.
Use the hand-sanitiser on arrival.
During your appointment, a hand sanitiser is to be used.
Leaving Your Appointment:
When finished, a member of staff will walk you through
showing you the way out.
I’ll have a look at the map now.

Not confident; I can’t find which reception I’ll need.
Knackered now. No desire for food or drink.

Get my head down, I think. Hope I’m up to doing Josie’s meal in the morning.

Changed my mind as I was getting the jammies on. I needed a meal, after all.

I made up a meal that looked okay. But it wasn’t; I was not concentrating, methinks. The veggie burger and pastie were only warm at best. The sausages were undercooked. Taste: 3/10!
Still, didn’t visit, so I had a good sleep for once.

Inchcock: Tuesday 1st November 2022

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –


– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Gave up trying to sleep again after the wee-wee. Decided to get the ablutions done, being as I was wide awake yet flipping well again!
Apart from one issue, the ablutions went fantastically well this morning! Only one minuscule cut shaving, and I was rushing things a bit. I wanted to get the Monday blog finished and posted before going to the doctor. I had a feeling, well, EQ told me, that things would go okay with the results of the Severe Frailty Test Results… meaning I take it that someone would take notice and action on the problem? The Easy-Link bus that Deana ordered had been confirmed for 10:00hrs, so I do not have much time to get the blogging in. And with Liberty-Global going down tomorrow, I wanted to catch up as far as possible. But I felt a spot of good fortune was on the way? That in itself is a kind of miracle… as long as it comes.

As I was considering which manner to use to get the socks on, I spotted and photographed my left leg’s ankle. I seem to have gone all pale suddenly? What’s more, the ankle ulcer didn’t look too good a shade of colour? I think there is a furuncle or two coming out as well?

I did the washing and medicalisationing and feeling good, and with foolish bravery, I used , a mistake if ever there was one! I ended up with a cut shin and agony from the right foot delicate, , when I had a trying to rearrange the sock that had attached itself to the toenail!
Of course, I just laughed it of. What’s a spot of agony to a man like what I am, a mere tribulation. Being such a pain-bearing, heroic, brave, handsome young man?

Tidied up in the wet room, put the bloodied paper towels in the bin, took them into the kitchen and deposited it in the big waste bag.
Tried to take a decent photo of the morning view. Failed, of course, probably through
having fun with tearing the toenail and shin cutting, which has led to such a loss of blood. Hehehe!
I made a brew of Thompson’s Signature tea and tried to concentrate on updating the Monday blog.
I made a mess of the next two hours and spent more time correcting things than writing them. I realised later that I’d missed the Health Check graphics and a photo of my bleeding toe. Humph!

Came in, and I shook his hand on welcome. That confused him a bit; haha! I proceeded to tell him how much appreciated him and Deana and would struggle even more without you two. I think he liked that, but there were no signs given, just a feeling I got.
Richard got the medications sorted and checked on the whiteboard he’s bought me the previous day, and I reckon he liked my having used it. He had a read and pointed out that I’d got something down on it twice, bless him. I’d got some bits for him out of the fridge into a bag, and he had to fly; he’s got an extra call to do again today. Bade him farewell and all the bestestest… and got back on the computer, and hastened to get the blog done and posted before I had to go out… it was close, but I got it done. Turned of the computer and started getting the things needed for the surgery visit ASAP. As I was doing the checks, and as the rain began to fall, I spotted this fly/flea on the outside of the kitchen window. I wonder how it flew up all that way? Did he need to rest his wings?
Off I went down in the shuddering lift cage to the main lobby.
I’d made it in plenty of time.
Eighteen minutes before the Easy-Link bus was due to arrive at Winwood Heights prison camp… I mean Winwood Heights Independent Living Complex. Hehehe!
I had a poddle around the foyers, settled at the front next to the main doors, got out the crossword book and had a go at it. I did rather well, actually, I solved about five more clues. Although it may have been three, five sounds like I’m cleverer. Does it not?
I moved into the outer lobby, so I could see if the Easy-Link electric minibus arrives. Which it did spot on time. The driver had a bit of bother finding somewhere to park, but he handled it with a certain aplomb, and I went out to the bus and got in. Well, it seemed the right thing to do. Har-har!

I arrived at the surgery!

The chap didn’t ask for any cash, so he’d been informed of my being on the accounts for monthly charging.
We were soon in Carrington, and he dropped me off in front of the surgery.
I hobbled as the rain started again into the surgery and reported to the receptionist. Who pointed to the chairs and said something I could not hear, “Take a seat”, presumably? So, I did.
Five minutes later, Doctor Vindla summoned me into her room.
She seemed a little more interested in what I was saying and asked about how my Anne Gyna was? A rare happening! Then I realised there was another woman in the room, taking notes? Student? NHS Monitor, regulator? I didn’t know. But it got the Doctor showing interest in my health for once.

Ah, EQ’s message, this makes sense now.
The Doctor told me I didn’t do very well in the Frailty Test. Would I like her to refer me to ———- I didn’t hear what she said, just answered, ‘Yes, please!’
She went on her computer, left the room, and returned telling me that I needed a —?— test before they (?) would accept you, and Nurse Nichole had made time to fit me in, go to her room straight away, and she’ll do it now for you. So I did. Not knowing what test this was.
But it was nice to see her again. It was a blood test she took.
Then I didn’t know if I was to go back to see the Doctor or go home? Cause no one had told me. Nurse Nichole phoned the Doctor and told me to go home. It’s no wonder I get confused. I’ve no idea who I’m being referred to for help, either.
So, out into the rain and I had a hobble down to the Lidl store. Prospectively financially fatal, me, doing this! Hahaha!
I came out a good few quid lighter. With some cans for the Carers and Wardens, fresh tomatoes, Frikadellens, yoghourts and other bits. The trolley was pretty full and out to catch a but back into Sherwood.

Took the first photo on Mansfield Road. Well, all three of them were taken on Mansfield Road.
The first was from lower down the hill, where the Haydn Road bus stop was.

The second down photo was taken near the mass of closed-down shops after I’d gone over the pelican lights to the other side of the road.

They are out of order I think I took this one getting off the bus. Nottingham’s famous deadly free electric scooters.
Four deaths this year so far with these. One rider and three pedestrians. But the Council members must be getting back-handed to keep them on? Just a thought, like!
I called at the cash point to get some readies. Then in the Co-op, I got some cobs, vegan butter, cobs, and imitation smoked bacon.
Then hobbled up the hill to the bus stop to the flats. I had the pleasure of seeing Margaret from Winchester Court, and we had a natter en route on the bus. ♥

Back at the flats, I slipped her a can of Gin & Rhubarb, said my farewells and walked through the Winchester Court flats link passage into Winwood Court.

Met Frank and Esther, and had a few words, then into the Winwood Court Foyer. Where I met Deana, slipped her a can of Gin & Orange.

With the cheesy cobs, I’d got from the Co-op proudly displayed on top of the three-wheeled Walker basket, I proceeded in a Northerly direction along the link passage to Woodthorpe Court.

I was doing so well; it worried me! Hehehe!

I got to the end of the passage and recorded the rain that had started again, pelting it down and windy with it.

It went a little dark too!

I got up in the lift and went to take a photo of the downpouring rain from the window near the waste chute room.


I took a picture that caught the rainstorm beautifully, I thought when I looked at it on the screen.
But another of the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, Fata-Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, occurred.
When I got into the flat, the picture was no longer on the SD card! How, why, does this happen? It must be something I’m doing wrong. A great photo as well. Schluberduberski! 

It took these shots of the rain as it was stopping.
Then made a start on updating this blog.

It was hard, slow work. I seem to be making more errors than getting things right lately?

I stopped for a break and took the large potato out of the slow cooker, added some cheese on top of each half, and got it in the oven, to cook the cheese.

Haahahaha!

Back to the blog again. I thought the break might have helped me to regain my concentration… Things got more farcical, not better!

Absolutely!

Then, around 15:00hrs, a sudden darkness came over everywhere within a minute!

I got the Lumix and took photos of it around the flat so you can see how dark it really turned.

It was eerie how quick it fell. Not scary or anything like that, but so unexpected. The changing seasons and clock changes might have had some effect on this little miracle?

That’ll be the changing of the clocks forward an hour. That I forgot all about and rang lovely neighbour Jenny to ask her the right time, last weekend. That was with the aid or insistence of my brain’s interloper, of course! Tsk!

Yet, looking at the picture where a window is, it looked so light outside?

My Cyber buddy, Billum, in Cincinnati, will know. He’s a bit of a boffin and clever with it, you know. A grand chap, a great partner in HRH Lisa-Petal, and a son to be proud of, Alan.

They show me care and understanding, yet they have so much to contend with themselves medically. I just thought it a suitable time to let them know my feelings and thank them for being them. ♥ Below is one of my favourite graphics that I’ve ever done.

Showing Bill and HRH Lisa-Petal in their make-believe time capsule, built in their underground laboratories in Cincinnati! Their senses of humour are so precious to me! Note the Dalek they took? Santar-Ha! Thanks!

Arrived in a good mood, and after giving me the medications by hand into my mouth, we had a natter. Shannon showed me, on her mobile phone, a photo of her baby in the womb. Bootiful! I think she said it is due in May… but I could be wrong. I insisted on her selecting a nibble and can of pop of her choice in thanks. The gal took the waste bags to the chute for me on her way out. ♥
I got something to eat, potatoes with cheese, tomatoes, sourdough bread, and two Frikadellens... which I am now going to eat! Hehehe!

Sorry that the picture didn’t come out very well.
Food Rating: 7.5/10.
Well worth the effort to make it.

I put the utensils in the kitchen bowl to soak and realised I’d not done the yet. So, I did.

WHOOPS – Up to Hyper- 2 again.
Tsk!

Wednesday 7th September 2022: Diary

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
WEDNESDAY’s ODE
I apologise for the crap above – I ran out of CBD, you see!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Very late this morning, I stirred into life, around 0715hrs. Tsk!

The tumble-caused marks and bruise in the right knee, I expected to start stinging as soon as I moved – but no! Hardly any stiffness, and the pain when I did move, was pleasantly greatly reduced. I expected it would be far worse, but I’m not complaining.
As I was catching my balance as I raised up my magnificent, muscular 5′ 3″ body onto my feet; a tiny emission from the rear end all but had me gasping for breath! I thought it advisable to make my way to the , with some haste. Well, it appears that Trotsky Terence is reclaiming the top spot in the evacuation-stakes daily battle with Constipation Conrad this morning. Splurt-splash and all over with!
Bending to clean up the well-sprayed porcelain bowl, I hit the right knee against the bowl… but hardly any pain, and that evaporated within minutes. Are things going well today? Worrying, innit? So unnatural!

Had a wash, no shave yet, cause I wanted to be ready for when Carer Richard arrived. He didn’t have time for a proper chinwag Monday or Tuesday. I was looking forward to a mutual moaning, groaning, verbal-repartee, and laughing session with the lad.
By the time I’d made up the waste bags, ♫ Oh Susana ♫ had chimed out, and in came Richard. He greeted me in the kitchen, but my EQ told me I would not get a blathering session. As he started to yawn as he spoke, I knew my chances of a good confabulation were nil! Hehehe! That’s three days without a good Richard gossip… Humph! Still, can’t blame the lad; he might be disappointed too. Anyway, I tried not to show my disappointment to Richard and genuinely wished him a better day’s kip for today. He gave me one last yawn, after telling me to take care as he left, with the waste bags in his hand for the rubbish chute. Bless him!

Morrison’s email regarding today’s order: CRAP!

I popped into the balcony to have a look around outside, and I managed a rarity – a moving vehicle using the wide bit as a turnaround point.
Red van-man, in his usual position on the no-parking chevrons. I wonder if he’s a bully or a wealthy tenant… maybe related to one of the Nottingham City Homes bosses? Could be all three?

I got the Boot’s branded Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China, and the were done. SYS 157, DIA 75, Pulse 76 and the body temperature was 33.4°f.
Oh! The returns from the NHS Diagnosis site showed that I was still in the Red Zone much a lot higher than yesterday.
I’d have thought yesterday’s sudden raise would be due to the tumble I took, yet today. Feeling a lot better, and it increases? There’s no telling, is there?

I started to get yesterday’s blog finished off but got carried away by adding things I forgot to put on. A slow job again, bearing in mind all the mistakes I was making in typing. I wonder how long it will be before the cataract is done?

The intercom went, and I heard it! ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ burst forth as the Morrison delivery man arrived. I remembered to tell him before he started unloading the baskets, as I was directed to in Morrison’s Email! The chap seemed unphased about it! What the hell am I ordering stuff from them for?

I thanked the man and got the much-reduced food into the kitchen. No message from crap-overpriced Morrisons to tell me they are going to reduce the order cost yet, and it is now gone 20:00hrs? Are they going to rob me? I wouldn’t be surprised. SWINE! Realised that I had not sent back the overpriced unwanted food bags – I am a clot! Morrison was charging more than Amazon were for the Germoloids? Gits!
They must hate their customers? And their pistachio nuts were as dry as wood! The cheddars biscuits deserve to be called Cheddars-crumbs! The cans of mandarins in water were both dented. I hope they have not put arsenic or bleach in the vegetable risotto!
The fridge was full again, but not as full as it would have been; were Morrison’s skilful enough not to run out of stock of many things.
I’ll just check the emails to see if any notification about the returned items has been sent… back in a bit. Nope, no email from Morrison’s.

I got another call on the intercom. I think that van is an Amazon one, but no one was in view. The man who delivered to me left nearly an hour ago? Of course, it might not be an Amazon vehicle at all.
I’m waffling again, sorry.

I spent a good many hours (five more at least) getting the Tuesday blog finished: I just kept adding to it? Is this being caused by Doreen’s Dementia? I genuinely found it impossible to stop writing.
I was aware that time was running out. I was worried about getting no sleep again… Yet I still pressed on. The only thing that stopped me was self-hatred at my stupid actions… really sad innit!

I eventually got the Tuesday blog sent off well into the afternoon and started doing the template for this one…

Warden Julie appeared in the room, another shock for the ticker. He asked if anyone had been knocking on my door. I’ve heard no one, I replied. But as she was hastily going out again, she said something as she hastened down the hallway, but I could make it out.

Ten minutes later, there was a knocking on the door. A tall, well-built young man, holding out a wrinkled ID of some sort. Told me he wanted to earn an honest living, he was just out of prison, and would I buy something from his bag? Really pressing for me to view them and purchase something. He was most annoyed when I said no.
Then I realised this might be why Julie had come to see me earlier. I tried ringing her and Warden Deana to inform them he was still about, but no answer. So I left it alone but kept the door locked after that.

Carol called to say is it alright if she does the laundry on Sunday, cause I can see you have plenty of clothes. (Unaware, I’m sure, that I can no longer fit into ¾ of them – Hehehe! No problem, I said. It’s with Esther staying on her holiday in South Africa for another two weeks, and Carol obviously did not know and had made other plans, bless her. Not her fault at all. I asked her if she saw a Warden tell them he was still on site. I assume it was this con man they were looking for?
I was entertained on and off by Herbert in the flat above, with a good mixture of mechanical concerts. The tap tapping was superb; he threw in a few metal-sounding thuds.

The intercom went, and I heard it again! I looked through the spy-hole and saw an Amazon man who’d been last week and opened the door. Cautious that it might be the con man again, I waited unto the door chime rendered the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune.
It was the Depend Protection Pants. These may look rough compared to the others, but they are practical and reassuring.

I opened the carton and put the pants bags in the spare junk room.

Then, I put the last of all the rest of them, with a bag, open of the Depend ones, into the wet room.
I can rest easy now. Should I be caught out, heavens forbid, but it can and does happen. The front wee-wee spurts or the , or the most noticeable, when Inchies . The Tena and Morrison ones have let me down in the past.
The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune burst forth again. It was Josie, bless her heart, she’d bought me some bananas for making her Sunday meals. ♥

I got back to blogging for several more hours… Until I was just too tired to do any more for now. And I’ve still not had a meal yet!
I took this photograph of the moody evening view from the kitchenette window while cooking the Oh, so late meal.
The meal: A veggie cottage pie, red and yellow mini-tomatoes halved, and the last of the just out-of-date raw garden peasWeak and unwilling.
Backed up with a bag of Seaweed Crisps. Seaweed coated with tapioca with tried these; I think Sister Jane would like these. I’ll put some with her wine to take to her. Or to be collected. Whichever. Melted in the mouth, expensive, but jolly tasty flavour!
I woke up and took the dish, cutlery, and empty pot on the food tray to be washed… ! I’d left the tap I (faucet) running again! , ! No hot water now until the early morning, so no shaving either. Too risky to use hot water from the kettle to shave with. I remember leaving the taps on in January and using the kettle for shaving water… Still, the scalding scars have gone now.

I Lumixed a couple of shots of the rather magnificent view. Came out alright, and both were single efforts.

Evenin’ All! Well, it’s tomorrow morning now!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 11th August 2022. Diary & Odes

I can’t understand why my Odes have not yet made me famous in the rhyme and poet-master circles. All that effort, too!

———————————–

0605hrs: I rose with thanks for being allowed to get in five hours of undisturbed time with Sweet Morpheus. Passing wind belched and detached my weight-ladened stomached body from the c198 recliner, and off to the wet room, and the . Where I passed the first half-hour of waking. Trotsky Terence had been beaten into submission by Constipation Konrad.
Oh, the agony! I couldn’t even try to do the crossword this morning. (It can take one’s mind off of the suffering sometimes, but not today). Things eventually started moving… a little, then stopped! I counted the crack in the ceiling plaster… same as last time, 36. Now there’s a thought; How can not remember so many things but am almost certain I could remember a silly, pointless detail like that? Back to the pain coping… I had visions of the bloody mess I was going to find when… or if the evacuation is ever completed.
I started talking to the evacuation product (I know, daft as a brush!). My faith was failing. Then I started wot think of the most ridiculous things, like, why have I never been interested in lepidoptery? Who’d have believed I’d end up with Doreen Dementia? Me! The calm one, the organizer, the carer…
The torpedo started coming out, and it was beyond my powers to slow or stop[ it. The pain grew worse and fortuitously. so did the escapage rate, and the last three-quarters of the turd almost flew out with a sickening thud as it landed, blocking the porcelain! 
Ah, blessed relief! I thought it would never free itself. Now to check on any damage done in the procedure!
. After all, that grinding pain and the gigantic, gargantuan torpedo having been slowly, oh so slowly, forced through and out, Harold’s Haemorrhoids had barely been bleeding! A few thin streaks of the old haemoglobin on the toilet paper, that was all. There was even little stinging pain, either! How come? All a part of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me! I suppose!

I got the take, with confidence from somewhere, that the results would not be anywhere as near as scary as yesterday mornings. I just knew not to worry. My EQ, telling me?)
Fair enough, it was still high, but if I remember rightly, it was 36 points less than Tuesdays was.
The body temperature once again was as near to spot on that you wouldn’t notice the difference!

I lost a couple of hours of the morning altogether. I had been doing something as I found later I’d written things on the remember-pad, but it’s in double-Dutch! And the kettle was hot when I went in the kitchen, but I’d not made any tea? Thankfully, these Mind-Blanks don’t happen very often. But they do concern me and are on the list to ask the Doctor about. But can I get someone to call the surgery for me? No! The trouble is, I forget all about it minutes later, until the next instance.

Arrived in a bit of a rush, but he never rushes me, bless him. But it meant quick talking and my missing some comments. But the lad had had a word with Deana about the paperwork he took with him to study and left it with Deana. No point in me keeping it; I can’t read it. He said that Deana will try to call on me later. This is out of sequence, as many other comments will be, no doubt/ I got very Confusion Konrad this afternoon and evening. Deana called later to confirm the booking for the lift with Easy Link. 10:30hr pick-up, to be outside to be collected. Later on, a nice-sounding lady land-lined me to confirm as well. That was nice! ♥

The steam-train building Herbert from the flat above was in fine form all day. No long periods of disruption, I must say. Just the regular clumps and banging, metallic sounds intermingled with some mini-concertos of a tap-tapping nature. Oh, and a cappella: Without orchestral accompaniment.

I just came across this writing on the notepad from hours ago. Any help would be appreciated as to what the heck it was I was recording; thank you. The dashes are undecipherable words: “Delug— 90% temp —– — —- — hoen –stly, —- forced sa–ey. Temp—— 94!” I may find time to have another go at making something out of it. Tsk!

  Now, for the cock-up of the day! If they gave out medals for Mind-Blanks, Forgetting and Insanity, I’d be in line for a gold medal after this incident.
The intercom rang forth: Someone telling me that they had a delivery for me.
❶ But the release button, yet again, did not work to admit the chap. I tried a few times, then said I’ll come down to you.
I had to get some trousers and shoes on, checked the intercom and could see the man still there, and rushed a little too much, and clouted Shuddering-Should-Shirley on the door frame! Agony again!
❸ Got down to the foyer, but no signs of anyone there.
❹ I assumed he had gotten on while I was faffing about to get down to him… Rushing again, I got the walking stick entangled in the lift elevator door. I now have a split-handled wooden walking stick.
❺ Got up to find the man looking around and bags near the flat door.
The man departed, and I started to get the bags into the kitchen. Then it dawned on me when I saw the Co-op label on some foods – I don’t recall making a Co-op order at all. I’ve just had a Morrison one yesterday. And, a few days before that, an Iceland one? Mayhap I did this during my Mind Blank hours?
Well, it had all the things that I might have ordered on the order. I must have made it, stupidly, cause there was not a thing I didn’t already have in stock on this delivery!
I’d even bought some bonkers-costly Mushroom Risotto.
More flipping chips and potatoes, too! I’d even got some more bottles of spring and tonic water!

Just as I was calming down after giving myself a verbal blasting for being so stupid… the intercom burst into like again.
It was another delivery, Amazon. And the Doctor thinks I do not have Dementia ‘properly’? I hope she gets it right when I snuff it, and she has to decide if I’m properly dead or not! Hehehe!
Depression came over me.
The chap had delivered the Lemon Sherbets disinfectants.
No problem with this one. I remember ordering these. I think! No, I did, definitely. Positively. Oh, dearie me!.

The temperature outside reached 92°f.
I gathered together all of the paperwork and reminder notes and what leaflets and letters had come in over the last few days, with the intention of perusing them to see which needed any assistance to read and understand.
.Which didn’t take me long to work out. Cause Cataract Cathy and Dementia Doreen made sure all of them needed some help. Some needed telephone calls; well, Deafness Duncan takes care of that.

Kicked off again. Tap-tapping, morse-code like this time. The stuck-up, toffee-nosed, self-important gentleman varied it for a minute or two; he decorated the tune with some clung-thuds. Kind of him. Ah, tap-tapping is back now.

Getting late now. Aha, ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ just sounded. It was evening who’d arrived. He seemed a smidgeon low to me. I might be wrong. I tried the jokes, my world-famous and light-hearted approach, but I couldn’t get a smile. So I offered the lad a bottle of shandy from the fridge. I had to make do with a half-hearted imitation smile. But that’ll do for me, I thang-you!

I’d like to know what’s making those noises above. They almost sound like he’s sat up there with a stick to keep tapping on the floor? I hope he’s not poorly.

Better get the ablutions done. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I fear leaving it until morning again, with the transport also coming as mercifully, the top man, Nathanial, has told me he will stay behind to talk me through what I missed on the first course. Jolly decent of him, too!
State of the feet before getting the ablutions done here on the left. Off belatedly, to the wet room.
Three days of growth of the beard took some shifting. Only a few nicks. The teeth were painful to clean. Showering went okay, no knocks, falls, or Dizzy Dennis visits. Many many dropsies, mind you. Turned off the shower and dried off.
Yes, well… all were hurtful, to say the least. Germolene, Germoloid, and the worst of the lot… Little Inchies fungal lesion ointmentating! Arthur Itis and Cartilage Kathy were treated to some Phorpain rub.

I took an after-shower shot (Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehehe!) of the pins and plates.
Looking like they had been polished with Brasso or something of that ilk. Haha!

I settled in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously, grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable of, not working, recliner. Put on a Dr Who DVD and was soon sleeping away like a baby – I wee’d myself overnight!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 2nd August 2022

———————————–

TUESDAY 2nd AUGUST 2022

07:20hrs: I burst back into the world of woes with the regulation jump, jerk and jabberwockies. Realising how late it was, I climbed out of the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner, was on the way to unlocking the door for Carer Richard and I had to nip into the wet room.
The actual evacuation was even easier than the last three days or so. But messier, you can’t win them all.
It was the worry over the water flood in the room that spoilt my pleasure with the rare good Throne visit. The water does not seem to lessen at all overnight, and, I admit, it made me nervous to walk in the water to get to the sink for a stand-up wash and shave. I chickened out. Cowardy cowardly custard! I can remember a year or so ago when the drain stopped working, and my going in to get the ablutions done… Mostly I remember the walking stick slipping in the water and my falling and entangling myself with the sock glide. The cuts and bruises took ages to clear up.

Hopefully, the maintenance will arrive today to have a look at the shower problem. I hope so because I must be ponging a bit by now, going showerless for so long. I’ve just had a sniff… Yep!

Arrived, and I’d forgotten again to unlock the door for him. He was in a rush this morning, so very little nattering was allowed. A inquired about his getting some sleep, but he was down in the mouth as he told me of the 24-hour gas works outside where he lives still drilling away and partiers making a racket again. Gave him some lager, teacakes and a bottle of Inchcock’s Special Brew. (That be a litre of Schweppes tonic water, with some orange cordial added, and stored overnight in the fridge for him). I thought it might cheer him up a bit; I got the first smile off of him as he left, taking the waste bags with him to the chute for me. Poor lad.

I got out the checking gear for sphygmomanometerisationing and the temperature reading.

I thought it was an idea to open the balcony windows to let a bit of fresh air in while I did the HCs… having not had a shower, no signs of any NCH maintenance man arriving yet. The howling wind encouraged me to close the doors again.

The results were heartwarming, all good readings again, and I was back down into the amber zone! The third time in three weeks!

Back on the computer, Cleaner Esther came in to get the laundry things. And she did not tell me off about a single thing! Mind you, she has to come back with the washing yet, so we’ll see. Hehe! She doesn’t frighten me!

Is back at his hobby, making steam trains for charity. I’m not sure if he makes so much noise on purpose or not. Hope he doesn’t kick off late at night again.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang from the door chime. My heart gladdened and burst with joy at the thought of the Nottingham City Homes plumber arriving to sort the shower out for me… Humph! It was neighbour Josie returning the things from her Sunday-Monday meal delivery. It was nice to see her, but all I said was not heard nor answered; she had not got her hearing aids in. So I smiled effusively and often. I never did find out if she enjoyed the meals or not. Bless her!

A text message came through on my G6 Nokia Lumia 929 Icon mobile phone. Only joking!
I thought it might be from the NCH plumber (again, I am a fool), but no, it was EE trying to sell me some crap for when I go abroad to save money! Another flutter of hopefulness, utterly destroyed!

♫ Oh, Susana’s ♫ tune rang from the door chime. Aha! Is this the NCH plumber? Nope, it was Esther returning. She explained that she was going to South Africa for three weeks’ holiday but had someone who could cover for her. She phoned the lady, Carol, who came to check me out. Nice lady, an ex-carer, and agreed to do the washing for me after Esther had explained my problems. They left together. Now waiting for Esther to return, and she did. She’d spoken with Deana to see what day they may be coming. Deana has reported it. It’s just a case of waiting now… Fancy that!

With so little sleep, I am getting irritable with myself, I think. Not with others, just with me. Not much chance of catching up on the sleep, well, none! I’ve got to stay awake to have the slightest chance of hearing the intercom when they arrive. If I go into the wet room, I can’t hear it, so, no opportunity to address my filthy stinking body with a stand-up wash and shave… risky (tumbles, slips) anyway with water still on the wet room floor… I’m not a winner, am I?

I got creative when I went to make a brew of Glengettie Gold tea. Ailments have stopped me from taking landscape photographs long since. So I took two snaps of the view from the kitchen window, put them together and trimmed them with CorelDraw. This is the outcome: Rather semi-pleased with this.

After making the brew, it had gone a smidge dark, and I took this picture of the wonderful if dank clouds this afternoon.

Good for Esther to arrange cover for her holiday. Time to get something to eat, methinks. So I did!

I knew it would happen. I fell asleep. No idea if any plumbers arrived and could not get in cause I couldn’t hear the intercom. If I can wake up early enough in the morning, before the NCH plumbers arrive, I will have to risk having a shave and stand-up wash and be ready for the ‘Will they come today’ big wait-in. Again!

Sharon arrived to wake me up. Medications given. Cold drinkies from the fridge in appreciation chosen.

On with updating this blog. Then on the WP Reader, answered a mass of comments came in on this blog. Got them both replied to.

The landline rang; it was Nathaniel from the Diabetes Defence Team. It was hard to hear everything he said, but I think I got the gist of the call. He told me to attend the next session on Friday 12th August.  He would stay behind afterwards and talk me through the missed first session. Being aware of Dementia Doreen, I asked him to please rng Warden Deana to inform her, so she can arrange transport – explaining that I feared I may forget to ask her. He said he would, and I thanked him profusely.
Getting back may be dodgy, might need a bus or tram, then two more buses, to get back to the flats. Being a Friday evening, there will be no Wardens or Carer boss available if there are any problems encountered. I am a worry-guts!

I did it again. Drifted of to sleep, and I was woken by Carer Sarah. Who got the medications sorted, and I forced a treat from the fridge on the gal in thanks. ♥ I checked the texts on the super new G6 Nokia phone to see if any messages had come in from Nottingham City Homes about the shoer repair attendance. Nothing on it, so I hope I’ve not missed them. Sarah said they do not call on non-emergencies after 17:00hrs.

Which got me thinking. I could get a stand-up shave and wash when Sarah has gone. I can lock the front door and dive into the wet room, and if I take extra care throughout, can I still get the ablutions done? After dithering a while, I gave myself the go-ahead.
Worra, good session! I carefully blocked off the flood water with a mop bucket, and I pulled the shower curtain over the other area. Then if I wandered into the danger area without thinking, the noise of either obstacle should alert me to the danger – it worked a treat! Fair enough, it did cause a , but it saved me having a tumble. I was proud of myself for once. No bleeding teeth, not a single nick shaving! Yes! And, just a few small flecks of blood from Harold’s Haemorrhoids and Little Inches fungal lesion had not been bleeding at all – plenty of stinging, of course, when I medicated the little unused other than for wee-weeing thing. Hehehe!

I came out of the wet room, a cleaner, sweeter-smelling Inchie. (Aftershave, deodorant, and the smell of Germoloid and Germolene creams helped. Hehe!) And had o go back in for a rear-end evacuation. Always something, whenever I begin to feel smug! It was a delayed action, a sudden swift and spurting movement, and so messy as things got sprayed to amazing distances. Cleaning it up also needed care to avoid slipping on the standing water. Still, I got it all sorted. Grade Two .

I sky when I got into the kitchen, was looking fantasic. I’ll put the earlier shots I’d taken here, with the latest one last. I’ll make the shots a little larger, so they can be appreciated. What a change!

A feast for the eyes. When I get cataracts done, I can really
relish watching them again.

I carried in with updating and posted this blog off to WP.

Then made the Ode below.

Carer Richard, Odes & Diary

CARER RICHARD

He goes the extra mile to care for me!

ODES

Richard goes the extra mile in looking after me, you see…

He’s called paramedics to the hospital he dispatched me.

Found me on the floor, lifted me up; and I’m heavy!

He’s reduced the effects of my Whoopsiedangleploppery!

After giving me my medications, if he’s the time, to which I agree…

We sometimes have a bit of mental verbal buffoonery,

Monday, checking the dates on medications, was he…

Richard saw on the stove my pan of Chilli,

He suggested a new way of cooking, which sounded good to me!

Told me with cheese on top, it would be very tasty,

So, I made some that way later and could not disagree,

It tasted better than a well-cooked sosatie.

Ate it, felt sated, down the chair – I’ve not got a settee…

But with my feet up, I settled to watch the footy on ITV…

Half-time, I went to make a brew of Glengettie tea…

Getting the cup and washing up the cutlery…

Oh, dear, the innards suddenly rumbled – but only weakly…

The rear end just started to emit things terribly…

I rushed to the Porcelain Throne in a hurry… but I was too late!

Banged my shoulder on the door frame going in, mate!

What a mess; I was in a right mucky state…

Cleaned things and me up, new aerated PP’s on, to alleviate…

Sad when one has an uncontrollable trip to defecate…

At least the shoulder I didn’t dislocate!

Out and back to the kitchenette for the brew,

And immediately another churning, another release was due!

Back to the Porcelain Throne, I almost flew!

A bigger mess this time, sticky goo!

Good job, I made it in time, I can tell you!

Cleaned and washed, and back on the flaming loo!

After five more Throne visits, each one causing ballyhoo…

Things settled at last; in future, Chilli, I’ll have to eschew!

I’ll have some home-made beef stew,

Oh, no beef, summat else will do…

Ah, the Vegan beefburger tonight; the risks should be few

Hoping there’ll be no trouble with the residue!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

All fine that night, I woke up feeling refreshed and pert,

This morning as I stood up, the Haemorrhoids hurt,

The borborygmus rumbled, and to the Porcelain Throne I stumbled,

An hour later, I’d passed at least six times… my spirits crumbled…

Each evacuation was a close call, as I rushed and fumbled…

My poor piles were stinging and battered; they itched!

Uh-oh! The last one sneaked out early; I had to ventilate…

It seemed the pong was worse by a hundredfold,

Finally, I got the escapees under control…

That leaves Carer Richard this morning, who needs to be told…

A warning of his recipe given, especially to the thick & old…

That eating it, diarrhorea would be empowered!

Richard arrived, I told him of my Chilli agony, and he was unflustered!

Laughter flowed from the lad, totally unhindered…

No guilt, no shame… Never seen the lad so cheery…

He suggested I get a new nappy!

Hahaha!

Inchcock’s Make ‘Em Laugh Series

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I’ve never ever seen Richard laugh out loud and so hard! I think his mood was as near to schadenfreude as one can get. Even amid my agonies and Trotsky Terence’s having a hay-day with my innards and the Protection Pant stocks running desperately low…, it cheered me up to have made him so happy and contented. It did as much good as any medications.

With a possible hint of epicaricacy creeping in there… Hahaha!

Last evening’s photographicalisations were, to me, some of the best I’ve managed to take. How the shaking and shuddering (apart from the right shoulder Shuddering Shoulder Shirley) had suddenly dried up was something of a minor miracle? However, as I was closing the windows after taking the pictures, they kicked off again, off course. But a nice two first-time shots? Ah, the rumbling innards have started off again, out of the blue. I made a speedy as I could lunge for the wet room, wary of Trotsky Terence’s grip on the innards. The evacuation was the smallest in days and more than capable of controlling. I remained sat where I was on the Throne and got the crossword book out. I was not going to get caught out like I have been so many times recently by needing another release minutes later. About five minutes later, the second lot came.
I had a shave and shower, and the ankle ulcer in this photo looked like a luminescent inner core? At least it did to my cataracted eyes. But it looked to the eyes as usual? If I remember, I’ll ask the evening carer to have a look. (I forgot to, Tsk!) . The body temperature was acceptable again. That’s several days on the trot, so things look good there. Shaking Shaun caused me to drop the thermometer, but it still works; phew! The Sys was still highish, the DIA lowish, and the Pulse was AOK! Overall, I was tempted to go into Smug-Mode, but I remembered last week… I declined! That was when the SYS went up to 174 for one day, then down to 123?

I had a look at the food situation in the fridge. There seemed plenty to do me over the weekend, and the freezer was pretty full, so I decided no food order was needed until next week! Yes! I made a decision…me! I made one in 1968 as well, you know. Then made another one! I had a long chinwag with the family. Gave each one a mini cuddle and had a few words with each of them. ♥ All donated by e-friends, Lisa, Pattie and Marie; thank and bless them!

I had a walk down to the ground floor, using the lift, of course. And started to have a hobble the length of the three blocks of flats, to come out from Winchester Court and hobble along Chestnut Way back to my beloved Woodthorpe Court… but… An urgent need suddenly needed! So I doubled back and got to the Throne in time to avoid any Accifauxpas or Whoopsiedangleploppery! Which was good!

Washed and got a snap of the end car park taken from the balcony. What happened with this terrible photo? I took it without thinking through the glass; I didn’t open the window. Wot a pillock! So I did a better shot from the other end of the balcony, of the view towards Nottingham City Centre, two miles away. Then got a late nosh sorted out. Veg & pickle balls, with added caramelised onion chutney, tomatoes, chips and my beloved raw, fresh pod peas. I had three little marshmallows for my make-do dessert. I would have had some yoghourt or lemon mousse, but Iceland and Sainsbury’s didn’t have any in stock – Grumph! 

So, there it is! A day of misery, defeatism, joy, laughter and utter confusion- just a typical day for Inchcock! Cheers!

Inchcock Today: Monday 6th June 2022, Diary & Ode

Monday 6th June 2022

 Odes to Sanity Part 23⅛th

Being uneducated, I turned to intuitioning…
To replace my lack of logic and reasoning,
Judgements were instantaneous, with no conscious thinking!
No abductiveness, abstracting or even reasoning…
But I had a flair somehow for conceptual thinking?

I was prepared to tackle problems, if nonintimidating,
Usually, I’d end up morbidly confused and panicking,
Thought Storms, I found myself cathecting…
Often ending with my fearing and self-blaming,
Doreen Dementure started visiting; she’s beyond taming!

Finding you’ve missed or got something wrong; is excruciating!
Yet still, when I stray of a topic to start witwantoning…
Searching, no doubt, for comforting, consoling…
To find someone who can help, and be approbating…
A Doctor mayhaps, who is not so abrogating…
But I’m still here alone… and waiting!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY DIARY

Due to my working well into the morning on yesterday’s blog, I didn’t wake up until 07:15hrs. A good job; the Carer didn’t come early cause I’d left the door locked. So, although still in a haze, I had to force my way free of the £300 second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, and get a wash and shave, then dressed. I remembered to unlock the door first.

Despite my rushing, I remembered that I had the J Sainsbury order arriving twixt 8> and 9:00hrs. I didn’t get a single cut shaving and no teeth bleeding (but that was because I forgot to clean the teeth, Hahaha!) I did manage a stubbed toe and a few dropsies.

I got the blood pressures etc., done quickly as I could. Great figures returned, bearing in mind I was hastily hobbling around after getting up so late, trying to get the Health Checks done before the Carer or Delivery arrived. My body temperature was well down, surprising as I was almost sweating with all the rushing about what I was doing? Hey-Ho!

Well gone 08:00hrs and Carer Richard arrived. He was obviously not going to be able to have a chinwag and check the medications in the drawer as he usually does on a Monday because the poor lad had got three extra calls given him for this morning! I slipped him a bottle and a nibble plonk & chocolates in a bag. I make up a bottle of spring water and ass some orange cordial to it and bang it in the fridge to cool for him each day if he comes; nice chap, but under pressure this morning. He still oversaw me as I took the medications; some didn’t even do that. Wishing him good luck, he took the waste bag on his way out. Bless his cotton socks.

At last, I got the kettle on and took some photographs from the balcony.

In the first photo, RVM (Red-Van-Man) in his favourite No Parking, yellow hatched markings. Raining a fair bit!

I noticed some activity, as a silver car arrived and went to park in between the grey and blue vehicles on Chestnut Ways car park. Then backed out again and went down to the end car park (RDM’s area).

And parked opposite RVM, a lot nearer to the entrance. I spotted the deluge of muddy rainwater in the car park as it hurled down the hill in Woodthorpe Grange Park. Can’t blame them as the rain seemed to be coming heavier now.

I went to wash the tea mug as I took this shot from the kitchenette window. Cunningly knocking over the kitchen tools stand as I did so! Another mess to sort out! I think it’s the first time I’ve handled the baster and quick as I picked them up with the picker-upperer since I bought the set. Hehehe! That was donkey’s years ago.

The intercom flashed, and I admitted the J Sainsbury delivery lad. Who threw the food into the boxes, with the bunch of roses going in at the bottom of the box! (I found out later). Tsk! I rescued the flowers and put them in the trolley walker basket to keep them from harm. Can you see the expression on the orange carrier bag handles? ‘The Scream?’ Hahaha!

I got the bows and bags emptied and sorted into various places. Starting with the fridge and freezer products. I’d made a cock-up with the battered Fish & Chips; I thought I’d just ordered chips? I’d also forgotten that I’d got the vegetarian ice cream ordered from JS and have ordered more now from Iceland for tomorrow; what a plonker! Humph! Glad to see they had some more of the Squid Sauce, which is actually liquid salt made from anchovies, and most tasty too! I’ll try to eat stuff from the freezer today to make room for new ones.

I’d got two boxes of four lemon curd bakes, one for Richard. The freshly podded garden peas had gone up in price by a whopping 30%. Boo! And no country of origin on the packet! So, I do not know what to expect tastewise. The Nicaraguan ones can be bitter and unpleasant. Like the last ones bought, they should be sweeter if they are from Peru. As were the Chilean ones last week.

Another of the instant, phooey, watery evacuations. I tried to take a photo of the much improved looking ankles and plates of meat… but as you can see by the image on the right, it was not a good one. That was due to Peripheral Pete and his neurotransmitter failure, creating another intentional leg flailing dance routine. Why, you ask? I hope… I actually took several photographs, but this one was the only one worth using.
What’s more, this dance went on for a long time, which is rare and worrying. I got a bruise or two hitting the porcelain and cabinets with the leg. I’ll have an investigation later to see what shape it’s left the poor old leg is in.  I must have put them in the wrong setting. Maybe turned the selector too far of not enough?

Hehe! I got a bag on the trolley walker with the roses in, with some drinkies and phoned Deana to tell her they had arrived as treats in thanks. She said she’ll call later, but things can get hectic in a flash for the wardens, all of us old farts that need to keep an eye on.

I got the three small waste bags made up from the delivery rubbish, grabbed metal Micky and went to the door to go to the chute. Drilling noises permeated through the flat. I assumed the workmen were back doing the electrical repairs or updates in the lift lobby. So, I took the Canon camera with me. I could see the wiring hanging down from the ceiling tiles, and the fire door was wedged open; and made my way out of the flat lobby into the lift lobby. I greeted the workmen with a cheery “Morning, lads!” I think I might have just gone into invisible mode at that moment.

I hobbled around the tools, tiles and wires on the lobby floor, and I got to the waste chute room. Dropped the bags down the chute and was back out in no time. All without any trapped or knocked fingers, leg-dances, shakes or walking into anything.

Back in the lift lobby, all the rubbish on the floor had quickly been removed, and there were no signs of untalkative gentlemen anywhere.

Back in the flat, I decided to have an early meal. My aboulomania and pathological indecisiveness reigned. Of course, it took me ages dithering about what to have. Eventually, despite Dementia Doreen, I remembered I wanted to use up some frozen foods today to make room for the superb-tasting NoBull ice cream I’ve ordered from Iceland for tomorrow’s delivery.

I oven cooked a massive amount of chips (fries), to clear a bit of room in the freezer, as you can see. Hehe! I ate far too much. All my good work on the dieting over the last week meant nothing, as I feasted, licking my lips and feeling very guilty!

Taste-Report: The imitation fish sticks were tasty. The imitation smoked kippers in a vegetable sauce were super! The chips and tomatoes were excellent! The unknown origin shelled peas were disappointing. So, the plate of food gets an 8.2/10 Flavour-Rating!

The J Sainsbury cheese twist, and the sourdough bread, were both dry, bland and hard. So neither got eaten entirely. Eurgh! Shame! A score of 3/10 for them. I just thought I’d remind you of the new Sainsbury’s slogan they have adopted. Grangleturds!

Got the washing up done, and a Meridian supervisor came to do a Customer Satisfaction review. I had to be honest with her. Treated her to a choice of nibbles afterwards, though. Dean arrived at almost the same time to collect her treats. I think it’s three or four weeks now before her wedding. She said she particularly liked yellow roses. She took the bag of goodies, and I even remembered to add the strawberries from the fridge.

2: The moment the Meridian gal left… l had to make a swift as was possible hobble to the wet room! It was a close call again! No pushing required, down… splash-splurt; all done in seconds! Med Dioctyl ACleaned up and washed, then took another Dioctyl poo-softener… I’ll start taking them one a day henceforth until they run out, or Trotsky Terrence loses his winning streak over Constipation Konrad! I must remember to ask Carer Richard to read the use-by date on the pot in the morning. I think cataract Kathleen is making my sight a little worse each day.

I got the pot of vegetarian ice cream that I got from JS, and I had a few big spoonfuls. Compared to the No-Moo one from Iceland, it was whiter but too sweet (I’ll still eat it, though, Hehe!) Costlier too! The No-Moo one was yellower, not so well packed and tasted less sugary, which suited me more than the JS one. Especially as these ones coming tomorrow were on offer. From £2.50 down to £1.50! Definitely, a case of and a tasty treat discovered!

I nodded off, emptied bowl on my belly, in the second-hand, £300, charity shop-bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner. It was bliss while it lasted, but it only lasted for ten minutes, as the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune burst forth from the door chime.

It was Sarah… or Samantha maybe? She got the medications sorted, but did not check as I took them for any dropped or regurgitated ones. So much for my mentioning this earlier. But she’s a good gal. No treats were accepted this time. Bless her!

I made up some Spring Water bottles, one with lime, one orange and the small one with lemon & lime. I do live well!

At 20:25hrs, I got restarted the WP and got back on Monday’s blog updating. Getting the latest photos uploaded first. So many were not useable, I had no idea I was shaking so much, and somehow a lot of them were lost. A

I got as far as here, and I went on the WordPress Comments. That took longer than I thought it would, nearly midnight now and the eyes are making things hard with the keyboard and screen.

00:15hrs now. No, I’ll have to stop.

TTFN each! 💜

Inchcocks Tuesday 1st June 2022 – With Ode

Inchies Ode to Failed Wishes

I wanted Mummy to love me for sure…
But crime had caused her departure…
Police caught her in a cottage on the river Nure,
But that was years later, not really a cure…

I wanted to become a competent swimmer…
But I soon discovered that I was scared of water,
I soon got Inchcock as a new nomenclature…
I fought to get into the footy team, the agony I did endure…
But I was useless; I even thought of becoming a friar!

Things were depressing and getting dire…
Then we had a nasty frying pan fire…
Left me scalded, but to the pain, I am no stranger,
The most used word to me was Shurrup! I was a chinwagger…
I once poked myself in the eye with a penny banger!

I try dancing, the Twist and the Conger…
Of course, I can’t do them any longer…
In those days, I was younger and stronger,
And, I was earning some serious wonga,
All of which I’ve spent and have no longer…

Nowadays, my life is a little austerer…
To socialisationing, I’ve become a sightseer,
My ailments often mean that I feel a bit queer…
So when someone relates to me, I hold it dear…
But folks generally keep away, don’t come near!

I became a Headway volunteer…
Tried to give the patients a little cheer
We’d share Monopoly, darts and the odd root beer…
I’ve never been any kind of profiteer…
Eventually, they said I was becoming battier…

Why? was it some form of solastalgia?
I found out it was due to Peripheral Neuralgia,
I was definitely getting a little crochetier…
And my body was getting heftier… fatter,
I decided that this didn’t matter…

With my self-hatred, I felt evermore guiltier…
My calling myself names got much nastier,
If I just accept things, maybe life may come easier…
I even went to speak with the local vicar…
He touched what he shouldn’t. I’m now a nonbeliever!

I still press on, getting wobblier and clumsier,
To avoid depression, I tried to keep myself busier,
Each day I get crappier, creepier, and dizzier…
Even the carers think that I’m getting barmier!
I admit I’m getting poorlier, older and bolshier!

There’s no denying that I’m getting more Clishmaclaver…
Numbers, figures calculation I can no longer figure,
I muse over my fear, praying there may be a cure…
Against the darkness of gloom, I cannot enure!

Even talking to myself, I’m getting more spitefuller…
I can’t reason things sometimes; that makes me mardier…
And my body is aching so, and getting lardier…
My wee-weeing is more frequent and dribblier,
My Haemorrhoids are bloodier and much itchier!

The short term memory is confused, vaguer, muddier…
And used to be such an excellent rememberer!
At this moment, I don’t know if it’s March or September?
Have I put the oven on yet? I’ll have a gander…
No, I’ve not; what else have I missed on my agenda?
Well, I left the hot tap on… frustration and anger!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Diary Tuesday 1st June 2022

  After perhaps twenty jump-awakes, I gave up on the 21st or so and rose onto my feet for a wee-wee at 04:10hrs. Grumph!

The leak was free of Pre and After Micturitional Dribbling. Well, that was something! It sort of got me in an up mood.

I trotted off to the wet room to empty and sanitize the wee-wee bucket, and I got the Ablutions done while I was in there. There was only one tiny nick shaving and two dropsies, none of which caused any bother. A good session as well this time.

Got the Blood Pressure and Temperature sorted out. Despite the lousy night’s limited sleep and unending damned shooting awake, I was not in a bad mood, with a jump almost! They are getting worse each night?

SIA 136. DIA 71 and the Pulse were at 77bpm, I think. Cataracts etc., making it hard for me to see. The body temperature was still slightly low at 33.6°c, but not a lot below the 35.0°c target. It might be more explicit when blogging.

I nipped off to make a waste bag-up and got some potatoes in the saucepan to marinate in the fish sauce before boiling later on. I was on form today!

Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea, and the early morning sky caught my good eye. The cloud looked like it would turn into an alien spaceship and burst into view. I must have got the idea from a film that I’d seen? I’ll remember it! Got some photo’s from the SD card onto the computer. And started to do the Ode Tuesday blog.

200 0 0 Porc I’d not gotten far with the odeing, and the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived from the innards. Trotsky Terence shared control; along with Constipation Konrad; I know it doesn’t make sense. But again, the movement took ages to get started and needed so much effort it was painful with it when it did begin, which wasn’t for a long time. I even got some answers in the crossword! But when things moved, they were cripplingly slow, and the final desperate push exited not rock hard as the first few but messy and gooey? What? I didn’t like that session at all!

Back to the odeing and got it finished at last. Getting ready to review the blog before posting, and ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ Chimed out. As soon as I heard it, I remembered I’d not yet unlocked the door. So, I did!

The look on Carer Richard’s face was with a place in the Tate Gallery! Worth a thousand words. Amongst them would be, “You pillock, you’ve forgotten again to unlock the door!” Hehe!

I was busy on the blogging, but due to a three-hour circumlocution of great vagueness, I can only use the scribbled notes to guess what took place. Here they are as best I can decipher them: Ode… rushing, emailed, Facebooking, WP Comments, WP Reader… Ode for today… Conrad Confusion, mind-blanks… rampant wee-wees…

I checked on the spuds to find that I’d not turned on the heat. Plonker! 

Herbert was not so bad today, not as loud. But still persistent throughout.

Took Strawberries unwanted by Richard to Josie. Got the nosh sorted out. Beer battered chips were great, and new potatoes with BBQ sauce and a ketchup dip pot. Sourdough bread, veg sausages, and tomatoes. Baby banana to follow. 8.2/10.

Still vague-minded, no idea who came… yes, I have; it might have been Cheeky-Charley… Yes, I think it was. Bless her.

Grrreat! I nodded off within ten minutes and stayed that way for three solid hours! Then the jumping-awake started again… Grumph!

Inchcock’s Monday, 30th May 2022

MORNING THOUGHT STORMS ODE

ThoughtStorms attack when I’m not at my best…
Vulnerable, trying to sleep, or feeling undistressed,
The brain, with guilt, and fear, brings self-disgust…
I always get myself uptight and newly distressed…
There are no faults or mistakes that can’t be accessed!
Within minutes, I always become depressed!

The torrents of self-hate cannot be suppressed,
Regurgitated mistakes, from the first to the latest…
Minor, severe and the most pleasantest…
They even dig-up long gone thoughts, the absurdest,
Accepting the blame, taking it on the chin & chest…
I find it often less painful and the wisest!

DEMENTIA DOREEN ODE

I’ve considered booking a visit with a Gerontologist…
But I’d probably forget, and the appointment was missed!
As I did the other month with the dentist,
And every appointment with the chiropodist…
Oh, and last appointment with the urologist,
Can I get help from a witch doctor or voodooist?

Hot & cold water taps (faucets) left running,
Food forgot about cooking, burnt… burning,
Falls that leave me bruised and bleeding…
As for my decision-making, I call it dithering!
My concentration and memory constantly withering…
Vascular Dementia Doreen can be most gruelling!

AILMENTS ODE

Thought-Storms, can be depressing and belittling,
Falls on the sock glide, and I need disentangling…
Cataracts: things often walked into and banging,
Toe Stubbing daily; in fact, at this, I am excelling!
Peripheral neurotransmitters unfortunately dying,
Encouraging the odd right leg wobble and dancing…
Shuddering Shoulder Shirley has the torso flailing…

Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, need overhauling,
Mechanic ticker, my fungal lesion, need sorting…
Arthur Itis, Cartilage Kathy, need medicationalisationing…
Glaucoma Gladys, too, and my belching needs muzzling…
Bladder cancer, which can cause havoc wee-weeing!
The old hearing aids can be a little niggling,
But most of all, I could do with my brain recycling!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY 30th MAY 2022

03:15hrs: For the umpteenth time, I sprang into wakefulness. Pondered on getting up, I passed wind and belched, and then I nodded again.

Waking the next time, with the usual jerking and jumping, at 05:25hrs. My mind was confused before I got out of the £300 second-hand c1968 recliner to catch my balance; What day is it? Who’s calling today… is anyone. I think there is… As I rose, got dressed, and found myself in the kitchen, making up some waste bags?

I think I was talking aloud to myself as I suddenly decided to get the ablutions tended to. Off to the wet room with the towel from the airer…

I hit my shoulder on the way through the door; my spatial awareness was obviously impaired this morning. Even as Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley kicked off, I took this in my stride. Even started getting back interest and concentration. But the lackadaisicalness remained. I felt almost laid-back and unconcerned, accepted that things would happen, and saw no point worrying about something? (Not me, at all, what’s was going on here?) No shaving cuts, Dizzy Dennis or Shaking Shaun visits. As I was towelling off, I even remembered that my precious Hristina was on her way to take the DVT blood sample, and the Iceland order was coming twixt 8>10:00hrs.

I finished the waste bag  I’d started earlier and got the computer on. The WordPress blogger was still not letting me open the comments from the editor. Again my outlook changed… I surprised myself at how annoyed I became?

Oh, dearie me, what a messy visit to the Throne it was! Again, it felt like it would be challenging to get the movement started, so I  got the crossword book from the floor cabinet.

How wrong I was! After annoying myself further by failing to make progress with the crossword puzzle, the sloppy mess of an evacuation almost squirted out all over the place. It took me ages to get the area and myself cleaned up, and I was getting hotter under the collar all the time. I became fuming! I went from laid-back to apprehensive, insecure and somewhat pissed off with things?

I was now getting more flummoxed than angry! Changed my PPs (Protection Pants) Confusion Conrad was in charge.

I went back onto the computer and got some photographs loaded. The card reader working seemed to raise my up and down spirits a smidgeon when it let me get them on. This on the right is from last night; I got up at one of the spring awakes to take it.

What was going on with my mood swings? I didn’t understand. But I was whistling to myself as I took this snap of the end car park on Chestnut Way, just beyond Woodthorpe Court. I caught a moving vehicle today! Hehe!