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Regrettably, my depression lingers on. If things do not improve by tomorrow, my birthday (I was born in 1959… oh, no, that’s when I left school). I will ring the Doctor and then work out how I will get bathed and trousers on, medicated. Then, how to manage to get to the surgery, with the cartilage troubles and this new fandangled, made for someone with 10ft legs Catheter Contraption). I think it is important enough to struggle to get there, though. I’ve never felt so low for so long.
As for today, you tell me. Hahaha!
A few photos were taken to give me prompts.
I must beg her, if necessary, to get me back to the Highbury Hospital about these blanks, seizures, etc., occurring.
I fear, knowing me, my determination, that I think is strong as I write this… Will wain. I’ve done it before. No doubt I need some help. The mess with the changed catcher mess is painful and limits my movement. Stops me from dressing should I need to. The insert plug falling out did my confidence no good. No offers of any help with getting it back in. Then again, maybe someone did offer, and it went off into the ether… this is all worrying stuff about my sanity. I know that a carer helped me with emptying the bag earlier and tried to raise the tapes for me. But, of course, that assists me in getting down to the valve for emptying. But the pee will pee when it wants to nowadays.
Each time I have to reach down so far, either Dizzy Dennis or Balance Loss Brenda appears, and the filthy, incredibly long tube pokes or pulls Little Inchie, according to how full the bag is, and more bleeding starts.
Sorry to be so low, but I can usually control it to a degree. But many things suddenly need attention. From a medical professional, such as a body and/or mind doctor. Now I think about it again, it’s likely frustration more than depression? Huh, now Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s right leg has started shaking and dancing.Â
I think I was not so low when I got up this morning. The Warfarin-DVT nurse came, and I was pretty with it. Talking to her, and I am pretty sure we had a laugh or two, and I enjoyed that.
But she soon sank down again after she had gone, and then Carer Chloe had left the flat. I’m struggling here. Then I have to tackle emptying the minuscule day-wee-wee pouch and elongating over-thick long tubing to empty it.
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Usual dark wee-wee.
Nice dark morning.
Bright lights.
Computer on.
Off to the Porcelain Throne…
He’s only just weakening!
Lighting up.
The Nurse from the… I love this title for a department…
DVT, CCG (DOAC) Anticoagulation Warfarin Clinic rang me. She asked if she could call today, I thanked her and said, ‘Please, please, please, do!’
She did about an hour later. She was amazed when she looked at the catheter contraption, which had the top strap in my crutch and the bottom release valve snuggling on my left slipper. Getting down to release the urine is tantamount to squashing out the six-inch-long black centre of a carbuncle!
“What an absolute mess; no wonder it’s painful. I then mentioned the top-end tube insertion falling out and my weeing myself. That got a laugh! Hahaha!
I selected another ready meal to have later.
A ‘Hearty’ Shepherds Pie. I put the oven chips in on a low light.
ONE MAMMOTH SEIZURE!
One minute, I said cheerio to Carer Chloe. Started on the blog.
Three hours later, it was as if someone had turned the lights 
back on. Yet, I was cleaning the kitchen sink. How the heck can that be? I found a photo that I can’t recall taking, and when I got back to the computer, what a mess I’d made. I uploaded the wrong day’s graphics and photos; I had to delete and rearrange them. Only to find I’d made the same error again!
Time to call for help tomorrow.
Took this photo later. Eerie clouds, I liked it.
Carer Chris arrived, and I think he may have made the call before. Or someone else did.
Blobble, Gobble, but I’m not sure.
Forgot to take a photo of the meal until I was Âľ of the way through eating it. Not bad.
This last photo looked similar to the one this morning?
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TTFNski!
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crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner. I nodded of quickly, waking
current that crawled up from the ankle to my crutch!
.
As I checked the nocturnal pouch, I discovered the urine looked murky, to say the least. Yet it was not such a deep colour today.
 
full of incomplete crosswords over the years. It still is
I didn’t find a single solution, and I had no success with the evacuation struggle. Then I washed and got the computer booted up. They don’t use that term much nowadays, do they? 
well for an end-of-shift call, bless him.
Then, I made another trip to the Porcelain Throne, hopes high, as the last visit was not so painful.
Back on the computer again.
to change my catheter contraption. He was in a hurry. I diagnosed that straight away. But she did not rush me. It was I think, it was 
who came. She was the nurse who was called last visit when the other one could not get the tube back in Little Inchie. This time, it was the reverse; Sarah couldn’t get it back in. She lost even more time, needing around 20 minutes to get it in, but she did it. 🧡 She put in extra pain gel twice cause she realised how much it was hurting me. I suspect my howling, arghing, wincing & the tears running down my cheeks may have been a clue. Haha!
Off Sharon flew, and I got seated on the computer chair.
The leg straps had opened, causing the pouch to sink even lower down my leg. The exit tube is now resting and leaking again on the top of my foot!
Lamb meat (shredded) with extra-thick gravy, mint, and oven chips. Wholemeal Bread thins and a dessert pot.
As I washed the pots, Dizzy Dennis hit me and continued to do so for the rest of the night.
raided,
TTFN
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Slept for a full 3 uninterrupted hours. 03:00hrs to 06:00.
Getting out of the c1966, ÂŁ300 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, was a lot easier than scrambling out of the hospital bed. But, more painful to fall back into when 
gave way as I stood up. The bed has a definite advantage to fall on; it’s so much higher!
Another long session was spent on the 
. The usual practices were carried out; a go at the crossword, but no answers were found this time. I counted 22 cracks in the ceiling. 
started and kept up his long run of guilt accusing, and Ant-Inchy put-downs.
wind from the rear end! I put on a fresh gown, olive-oiled both of the earholes and took a Senna tablet in hopes of encouraging some movement from the rear end.
Next, I creamed and ointmentated various gargantuan-sized wobbly belly areas requiring the same treatments.
mugs-a-day ruling… is it too early? Will I want a third cup later tonight? Could I care less? I made one. And let it go cold after I’d started on the blog!
I wiped the mug and prepared it for the next brewing of tea later on. Then, I took this photo from the kitchen window. It doesn’t show well, but I saw some items 
on the bottom of the upward-trodden path. I zoomed in close to identify what they were
I was working on the ode of the day
created in the building up of mass in the solid matter. Hahaha!
I took even more of the anti 
the inserted instructions leaflets.
I was on CorelDraw and was alternating with this WordPress blog, and got blowback pains from the catheter tube stuck in Little Inchie. Had a look and, to my utter amazement, found the pouch so full, hard and heavy; it had tugged at Little Inchie, causing some bleeding again.
manually again. I’d hate to think I could and had had the darned 
on all this time and didn’t need it. What am I thinking and saying? As if anything would go right for me! 
 
time. I’m off to the Throne. And yet again, no evacuation!
Five minutes after getting back to 
of effort, struggles, and phenomenal pain, at last, the blood-covered, almost cube-shaped lumps of concrete passed! Ahhh
What an evening view I took from the kitchen window.
had been kind to me most of the day. Of course, now I’ve said that… Wait for it!
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Back to darker again.
I took a series of Kodak-2 shots from the kitchenette window.
I hit my head, closing the window. Hard to believe, I know!
Raining shots with the spare camera.
Another no evacuation evacuation.
A little more rain.
An early, tasty meal.
Did anything I miss happen today?
Ah, missed the sun on its way down.
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Constipation Conrad was still in full charge of the evacuations. I had to do the ablutions so late at night that I had to contain the urge to howl out with the pain! Before things started moving, I had a go at the crossword and got four answers. đź‘ŚÂ 
.
into the WC!
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Oh, a much better colour!
I felt sorry for the poor birds out there trying to keep their nests in the trees and find food for their young.
Took this snap of three little dogs on their morning walkies.
Second attempt on the loo.
ARRGH!
Still awaiting the sun to come out to play.
Made a brew and got a visitor. Doing the carer’s assessment.
I mentioned the wind coming through the kitchen windows and vent, is was damned cold in there. Not thinking, of course. It’s nowt to do with Meridian. I bet he thought, “Hello, I’ve got the right one here!”
The clouds thickened a little, and the sun forced its way through minutes later.
Beautiful!
This thermometer was in the kitchen, leaning against the kettle, showing 58°f. Brrr!
Finally, a meal I could enjoy.
Night-night shots are taken within ten minutes of each other.
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w
to blame, as well
a few times
, and 
were far less bothersome.
.
Not good.
It took me ages to encourage it.
First view of the morning.
I enjoyed eating… no, podding the garden peas,
Oh, the moon is right high up in the sky. It must be earlier than I thought? I could see its surface, but the camera did not pick it up at all. Shame!
Computer on, first mug of tea.
At least it wasn’t a giant torpedo this time.
This is the second and last mug of tea of the day. Not much has been added to my reminder notepad. Tsk!
Oh, it’s getting dark already.
I ate all the gorgeous fresh peas that had not been nibbled raw earlier in the day, as well as tomatoes, instant mash, and a vegetable pastie. All went down well!
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I found a fish that wasn’t mentioned? No House, Tsk!
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, I’ve learnt my lesson about what happens when I 
do that. The night nocturnal pouch contained a fair amount of far too red urine, which needed to be removed and clinically disposed of.
The sun was shining, which made me realise that 
worries, frustration, Accifauxpas, and depression. I do waffle on at times; I’ve noticed that.
Recall taking this one, beautiful puffer clouds.
The carer forgot to take the waste bag, so it was no problem. I took them both to the rubbish chute.
The JS order arrived.
Got the pod peas shelled.
A spot of rain; it must have lasted for two minutes.
Well, the sun’s trying for a last hurrah!.
Vegetarian sausages, red onion, fresh garden peas, Marmite cheese, tomatoes & Marmite sarnies with no-butter butter.
Clouds broke up.
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Two hours after emptying the night bag, the urine suddenly flowed. 400ml! Mind you, I had been drinking well. Guilt!
I took these three before the late mist arrived.
Just look at 2nd emptying of the day pouch.
Recharged Kodak two.
I found these not-remembered-taking shots on the SD card of the cloudy evening sky.
I got tucked into it but found the chips were ‘throwawayable.’
The ones left in the freezer will join them in the waste chute in the morning. Otherwise, everything was good.
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, or 
. I’ll have to try not to get any other ailments, I think I’m running out of names for them.
urine had flowed well, and I had no choice but to get up to empty the day pouch again. And what a colour it was. I poured it into the measuring jug. About 160mm. It looked cloudy with bits in it and too red for my liking.
Indicating that I may find it advantageous to get to the wet room immediately. His gurgling from the innards did the trick. I noticed en route,
from one’s rear end hurt so much? It did feel like a fireman’s hose assisted the evacuating product.
without my ailments and worries. Hehehe!
paragraph default formatting this time?
I got the spare, reserved camera and took a few snaps.
working, but I had to reset it every time I wrote anything. The background colour—well, getting rid of it was a struggle, so more time was lost into the ether.
A similar outcome to the earlier visit with TT still in control. 
I just turned on the oven to warm up and am going to go on the WordPress reader now. Then, I’ll save everything, close down the computer, and get a meal sorted out. Well, that’s the plan anyway.
It was not such a good Kodak 2 shot of the sun taken tonight, so there is no warranting of a Smug-Mode usage on this one. I can’t find a red-spot option on this new camera. I’m not sure it’s even got one. There are no shoot-through glass or window options to be found either. Shame! But I can’t win them all. (Believe me!)
For tonight’s dinner, I used instant mashed potato again. I sliced some spring onions and added grated Leicester Cheese, onion salt, and sea salt to the mix. The resulting meal was not bad at all. And more manageable on the teeth, of course. I nearly fell asleep eating it, so I put on the TV, which had the opposite effect of helping me stay awake. I drifted into the bliss of sleep with the food tray balancing on my man-breasted pot belly.
gave way.
being less painful, I shouldn’t really complain.
I snapped these late shots while binning the rubbish from the Whoopsiedangleploppery.
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to start, but it kept itching like mad. Carer Chris took a photo of it and asked me if I’d had any stitches on my back. Nope, I didn’t think so. The back was a smidge red, but that would be where I been scratching at the itch. A few hours later, Carer Joanne came and took a look. The marks that looked like stitch scars had disappeared. She said she could see a mole coming up. It beats me what it is, but it kept hurting, getting more tender as I got tired in the evening. Another mystery from within Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morgana that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, which is at the stage of beginning to lose its marbles? 
The urine was a little lighter than yesterday.
Yet still hurty!
I went to make a brew of Glengettie. I spotted the second pod pea packet as I got the milk out of the fridge. I could not resist them. I shelled the whole packet, throwing away a good few that had gone mouldy. Another mystery was left unsolved. I dropped about ten peas but found only two to retrieve. Where the hell do they hide?
Morning view.
Yet, another mystery. Why did I put the meat pastie in the cupboard, not the fridge? I found one in the other cupboard yesterday but missed this one. I’d had a seizure but carried on doing things. The Doctor didn’t sound concerned or interested; she just pointed out my age and ailments to me.
An afternoon sky shot.
after four hours. But no, I rebooted it, and all the alarming traits with the texting were back. Shit, Shit and SHIT to CorelDraw!
I’d just taken this shot when Carer Ayu arrived. He could see nothing in my back, but whatever it was hurts more now than earlier. He rubbed some Germolene on it for me, gave out the medications, and was offered a nibble, which he took up three times. Hahaha!
I managed to catch the sun in between the clouds this time. Not too bad an effort, Smug-Mode-Adopted!
again! Three times in a week now. Still, it didn’t bother me in the least. I laughed, called myself a nasty name or two, & forgot everything about it. 
Ahem!
I think I caught my hand on the rack part of the oven rack as last time two days ago, the wounds merged. Hahaha!.