Inchcock’s Latest Altercation with a Mobility Scooter

Mobility Scooter – Light Blue TGA Breeze 4 Ultimate

Dear Driver of Light Blue TGA Breeze 4 Ultimate Mobility Scooter,

I would like to offer some advice/tips suggestions, for you, if you are the owner of the Light Blue TGA Breeze 4 Ultimate Mobility Scooter driving in Victoria shopping centre; that I unthinkingly attacked as it ran over me last week.

During a shopping expedition, I was stood, carrier bags by my side, resting my arthritic knee, and coping with the sternum pains from my cardiac operation, leant on my walking stick – and was knobbled from behind by the driver and this mobility scooter referred to above.

As I fell to the floor, and my walking stick broke, I took the route via the nearby pillar, to the floor, assaulting it with my head.

The head wound seemed worse than it really was, as I lost a lot of blood due to the anticoagulation tablets I’m on, and took a while to stem the flow.

Just in case you might have been concerned.

A nearby lady shouted after you, the formula one inspired driver, with an “Ooi!”

Your verbal answer was just one word, descriptive of the male collective reproductive organs, beginning with a ‘B’.

I thought that was out of order under the circumstances.

You naughty man!

I would like to offer you some Mobility Scooter driving lessons (I know, they are not required by law!), I would be more than willing to give you some myself at no cost to you (Mr Button senior?)

In my younger days I was an instructor with the Star Motorbike Driver Training School, in Nottingham, so feel sure I could put you in the right direction, for you to become less of an arsehole and danger to other pedestrians and drivers.

If you would like to meet with me, let me know. I’d really like to meet with you again.

Thank you.

Juan Inchcock Chambers.

By Inchie

78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!

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3 comments

Ha! My husband saw one of these parked in a handi-capped space in a parking lot. Wonder how they made it to the door.

Henry salutes you for your moustache!
Most excellent work.

Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!

Inchcock says:

15/08/2014 at 05:36

Danke Henry.
It helps ith the stiff upper lip yer know… heheh!
TTFN

Reply

Marissa Bergen – Burbank, Ca – This blog is a semi auto-biographical view of my life, beginning as a rocker chick from Brooklyn, moving on to playing in a punk band on New York's Lower East Side, to my current lot in life as a working mother of two, now living in Los Angeles. I love writing because you can be whoever you want to be when you write. Therefore, I would never want to pigeon-hole myself too much in my blog. However, I don't think I will ever deviate too much from what is innately in my blood, that being humor and sarcasm. Recently I have been turning more and more to poetry. I like poetry because it let's you say so much more with so much less, so much more about so little, and it also distances you from the subject matter, making you much less likely to offend someone, which I would probably otherwise do on a daily basis.

Marissa Bergen says:

14/08/2014 at 15:02

Ha! My husband saw one of these parked in a handi-capped space in a parking lot. Wonder how they made it to the door.

Henry Game – Want to know more? Check out the blog.

henrygame says:

14/08/2014 at 18:48

Henry salutes you for your moustache!
Most excellent work.

1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
  
  Inchcock says:
  
  15/08/2014 at 05:36
  
  Danke Henry.
  It helps ith the stiff upper lip yer know… heheh!
  TTFN

Mobility Scooter – Light Blue TGA Breeze 4 Ultimate

By Inchie

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