Mobility Scooter – Light Blue TGA Breeze 4 Ultimate

Dear Driver of Light Blue TGA Breeze 4 Ultimate Mobility Scooter,

I would like to offer some advice/tips suggestions, for you, if you are the owner of the Light Blue TGA Breeze 4 Ultimate Mobility Scooter driving in Victoria shopping centre; that I unthinkingly attacked as it ran over me last week.

During a shopping expedition, I was stood, carrier bags by my side, resting my arthritic knee, and coping with the sternum pains from my cardiac operation, leant on my walking stick – and was knobbled from behind by the driver and this mobility scooter referred to above.

As I fell to the floor, and my walking stick broke, I took the route via the nearby pillar, to the floor, assaulting it with my head.

The head wound seemed worse than it really was, as I lost a lot of blood due to the anticoagulation tablets I’m on, and took a while to stem the flow.

 Just in case you might have been concerned.

A nearby lady shouted after you, the formula one inspired driver, with an “Ooi!”

Your verbal answer was just one word, descriptive of the male collective reproductive organs, beginning with a ‘B’.

I thought that was out of order under the circumstances.

You naughty man!

I would like to offer you some Mobility Scooter driving lessons (I know, they are not required by law!), I would be more than willing to give you some myself at no cost to you (Mr Button senior?)

In my younger days I was an instructor with the Star Motorbike Driver Training School, in Nottingham, so feel sure I could put you in the right direction, for you to become less of an arsehole and danger to other pedestrians and drivers.

If you would like to meet with me, let me know. I’d really like to meet with you again.

Thank you.

Juan Inchcock Chambers.