Inchcock’s Letter of to anyone who will listen


L9 01

Dear Anyone who will listen,

It has come to me attention, and that of the NHS Casualty Department staff, that I have been clobbered four times now, by folk driving disabled and Motorbility scooters in the Nottingham area.

The First Attack

The first was on Mansfield Road near the cemetery as I was walking up the hill on my way to town.

He came from behind, knocking me over and spilling my bag of goodies on the floor as he drove over me right leg. It were a decent clout wot I received.

The disabled driver then continued to rant at me, despite my pointing to me hearing aids, and then shot off up the hill. I asked the woman who came over to me, what he was saying. It seemed he was asking if I was alright, but got angry when I couldn’t hear what he was saying?

Anyway, I gorrup with the lady’s assistance, dusted missen down,  thanked the lady, and carried on me walk into town. Unfortunately I took a turn for the worse, and felt very dizzy, so called into the NHS Drop-in centre in town, who checked me over and called for an ambulance. At the hospital, the grim faced doctor said he could find nothing wrong with me, and churlishly sent me on me way.

The Second Attack

Shopping in Victoria centre, I as hobbling along nicely and received a blow from behind as the mobility scooter knocked into me.

I called out immediately to the driver, and heard his description of certain male bodily parts in answer.

The Third Attack

In Derby’s Eagle Centre. I was stood still, bent down sorting out the things in me shopping bag, walking stick on me arm.

Next thing me nose is touching the floor, as the gentleman in a Motorbility scooter knocked me over from behind, breaking me walking stick as he just carried on over it,  and disappeared!

The Fourth Attack

This took place in the Queens Medical hospital a few weeks ago.

I’d just arrived at the haematology dept for me weekly INR Warfarin level tests, and was near the ticket issue machine. A lady on a Motorbility scooter pulled up beside me. I asked her if she needed a ticket. She just replied “No I don’t”.

So I took one for myself, and moved over to the second row of seats, and was stood by the end of them, getting my paperwork out ready, and as propelled across the seats as she drove into them, and she carried on trying to accelerate for a while, I could feel the shuddering.

The staff in treatment room heard the commotion and came out as she had finally managed to free her scooter from me and the chairs, and drove off! The staff did an accident report for me. I went in for me tests, and they all had a good laugh about it.

L9 02I’d like to request you send me some limpet mines at a good price, so that next time I can try to disable the offending scooter long enough for me to… well..

I’ve just watched a DVD that me brother-in-law copied off the telly for me. About disability scooters, and the drivers not having to take a test or practise on them before going out on the roads to mangle Inchcock.

And it said the dangerous drivers of these mechanic accidents waiting to happen, do not have to have insurance either?



They’re not safe yer know!


Juan Inchcock

Nervous Lane


Ward 19

Nottingham’s Queens Medical Centre

Inchcock Today: 5th Aug 2014

Continuing from 1830hrs Monday 4th August 2014:

IT 01

I was just about to ring Brother in law Pete, and he rang me. Hope to meet him tomorrow after the medical treatment. Must ask him to take some photo’s.

Had a nosh of microwave chips, Krakowski and seaweed, and a bag of Quavers, followed by two orange lollies. (How’s that for two fingers to the ‘Eat Properly brigade?)

IT 01I watched the DVD of Dick Emery’s film; “Oh you are awful!” So politically incorrect, but hilarious!

The nights limited amount of sleep was again nightmare ridden, but again, I can remember nothing of them, other than they were scary and worrying. Each time I got up to relief myself (At least ten times!) I’d remember a bit of them and tell myself to remember so as to report here on me blog… but no.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to get to the hospital tomorrow, without my minimal bladder being tested, crossed fingers.

Tuesday 5th August:

Up at 0500 hrs, laptop on to start this tosh, cuppa and took medications.

0600 hrs, failed to get on, getting a part view of the screen that’s all. Tried email and other sites, they seem okay. Seems they are having technical troubles of some sort? Hope it gets sorted for when I get back from the hospital, otherwise I might crack-up altogether if I can’t blog… oh dear!

Oh, it’s alright now? Good!

Hello, I’ve lost me top options now… might be my old laptop? Still I managed to post me latest sad effort. Must get on with creating graphics for me next one (Head down, concentration mode engages, passes wind, visits the WC…)

BT internet returned as I was giving up, to get things ready for QMC.

Set off, called at doctors to request an extra prescription for painkillers and emolument cream, then caught bus to town, then bus to hospital.

Warfarin tests first, then on to Renal for results. Seems pyelonephritis infection, they said normally they would prescribe antibiotics, but due to the amount of medications I’m on, they made appointment for me to see my GP to talk things through first. Thursday at 0915hrs.

Feeling tired and drained for some reason.

I Caught bus to Bulwell to look in the cheapo shop, nowt in worth while though.

Rang brother in law Pete, and he’s had his lamp delivered, so would meet me at the hovel to collect the black bags for me.

IT 03Got home at 1346 hrs, internet connection not to bad. So I again tried to register to vote on the site. It’s still not letting me.

Pete arrived about 1420hrs. Good chinwag and he collected the bags.

When Pete went, I thought it best if I tried to get my head down, as I was still feeling drained. No such luck. Tried reading me book without success, then I watched three DVD’s. Eventually drifting off late on,  while I was in the middle of watching a Steven Seagal film.