Befuddling Thoughts in bad poetry, from Inchcock! Part of the Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe series

6Sat05

WDP 2019B01

I had a thought, the other day,

It would not go away,

But here I am to write it down today,

Huh! I’ve forgotten what it was, Oh, lackaday!

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WDP 003f

I was caught laughing on Monday morning,

The Doctor was worried,

To the psychiatrist, I was hurried,

Now I’m no longer able-bodied,

I believe insanity is dawning!

I’ll have parsnip soup tonight, curried!

———————————————————————

WDP 003k

I worry a lot nowadays,

Through my mind’s confused haze,

Why am I not confident, there’s a trail to blaze?

I’m old, decrepit and stuck in my ways,

 Life’s a pain, it’s been wretched in recent days,

Freeing yourself of worrying can be done; the Doctor says

Watch an old DVD of Dawson’s ‘Say’s Les’,

Act like Tommy Cooper, and wear a fez,

I worry a lot nowadays!

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WDP 01 right

Doing the ablutions is not an easy task!

I’ll cut myself daily having a shave,

To ease the pain, I take my hip-flask,

Whoopsiedangleplops committed,

Dizzy Dennis calls, and blood is flittered,

Shaking Shaun, makes me feel all forlorn,

The dropsies fall, sometimes landing on my corn,

Then I droppeth the showerhead,

Though sometimes, the Sock-Glide instead,

The Sock-Glide removes chunks from my finger,

But in the shower, I become a singer,

An older Elvis, I’m a dead-ringer,

Apart from being short and having no hair,

And I can’t sing, to be fair,

Life can be so cruel and unfair, so there!

But there’s help out there somewhere,

I just don’t know where. But do I care?

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WDP 09aR

Nowadays, and I think it’s a real pity,

Life’s full of astucity, atrocity and a definite caducity,

It’s still easy enough, for me to be friendly and witty,

But sadly, only through a silly internet ditty,

Doing hoovering, hand-washing and other domesticity,

Brings pain, agony in all its ferocity,

Arthur Itis, Anne Gyna, neurotmesis axonotmesisity,

Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, with their tenacity,

All combine, to stop the housework,

Someone call saying; ‘Look at this filthy dust. You idle burke!’

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GCPram

But life’s always been depressing,

It started when I was born you know,

Worries were soon rampant, though,

But I had my health,

  Even if, no wealth,

Britain had its Commonwealth,

I got through using cunning and stealth!


This post was formulated while Inchcock was waiting in the Mary Potter Treatment Centre for his ankle-ulcer, and bruised thigh from his falling off of the L9 bus to be treated. During which he had his Peripheral Neuropathy diagnosed.

Just thought I’d mention it, like.

Part of: The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe Series

 

Inchcock: Friday 3rd January 2020: Chinwaggless Friday. Humph!

2020 Jan 03

2020 ttJan 03

Friday 3rd January 2020

Turkish: 3 Ocak 2020 Cuma

XJan03

WD 150.0.0 23:00hrs: I woke, almost disappointed in not wanting to use the Porcelain Throne, but a demand for a wee-wee arrived, that forced me to reluctantly for once, remove my bulbous, wobbly-short plump-bellied body from the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner. Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna were both giving me a break. I hobbled to the wet room, and found myself quietly singing on the way?

WDP 2019a2The release was of a totally new mode, to me. It started so promisingly as well! An FDBFF (Firm-Determined-But-Faded-Fast) style. (Which all the others, so-many, that followed were of the same fashion- I shan’t bother recording them, there were countless, and irritated Little Inchies fungal lesion as well! It’ll save on ink and time. Haha!) 

I poddled to the kitchen and made a brew. Took the medications. Phorpain Gel, Germaloid cream, Clobetasone cream, Corticosteroid cream, Daktacort lotion, and Clopidogrel ketoconazole applied where needed.

WDP 002ARThen, I olive-oiled the ear-holes. The right one was bleeding for some unknown reason, just a smidge. Probably I scratched at it in my nocturnal dreaming. For while I was tackling the Sock-Glide, a bit of the dream came back to mind. Something was trying to crawl into my ear canal, but it was too large to get in. I was on a wet grass riverbank, with Canada Geese all around me, and it was belting down with rain, and that’s about all I recall about it? This bit of musing, most likely helped me in a way, cause suddenly I’d got both socks on, without any bits of my fingers missing, blood welts, dropsies or stubbed toes! Oh, Yes!

4Thu04WDP08LRWD 150.0.0 I set about de-coking the hearing-aids and replacing the batteries. Which involved creating yet another Whoopsiedangleplop, but of sheer quality – in a weird way. I dropped (as was to be expected, really) one of the hearing-aid batteries, which disappeared altogether. Got another one out, and lost that one too! But, I spotted it rolling out into the hallway. There is a raised door stop that it bounced over, it hit the door frame and rebounded back into the kitchen, ran around the stack of drawers, hit the sink cabinet and went back and settled under the drawers!

I fetched the better picker-upper, got down on the knees (at this point Arthur Itis rebelled at such idiocy, and started to give me, and still is, some gip!) I managed to get the picker-upperer under the cabinet. However, I could not see beneath it. Blindly pulled it back out sideways. Out came, along with some dust and debris, one well out-of-date Duracell AAA battery, and… wait for it… ‘Two hearing aid batteries!’ Hahaha! I would have laughed then, but I still had the problem of getting back on my feet to tackle.

Fortunately, the sink is just the right height and width for me to grab onto. With a monumental effort and Arthur Itis’s agony in both knees, I painfully persisted, and progressed my person up, and into a perpendicular position! Yeehaa!

Mind you, I needed a few minutes to get over it! I took an extra Codeine 30g pain-killer.

WD 150.0.0 I spotted the, to me, fantastic view out of the unwanted, light & view-blocking kitchen window. So I took a picture with the Nikon camera, in Nightime Panorama mode, and have put it here in a larger view, cause I liked it for once. Especially as I took pains to get it right, well, in a way… I cracked my knee on the heater as I leant out of the window to take the shot. Arthur Itis is even more pissed-off with me now! Humph!

5Fri02

Got the aids cleaned and going well again, and returned, slowly and carefully, to the computer to make a much-belated start to the updating process. Just bending the knee to sit down was unpleasant, to say the least!

The updating in itself was alright, but new folders were needed to be made for these 2020 shots, in Pinterest and Facebook afterwards. This took me so many more hours into the day. And having to get up so often for a wee-wee, was making me irritable. Well, the pain in the knees did each time. Grumph!

DSCN1422I made a brew and moved the handwashing onto the airer.

At least Dizzy Dennis and Shaking Shaun were in a decent mood with me this morning. Not that Arthur Itis is too bad now… no that’s a fib. He’s cruel and bitter with me! Hehehe!

5Fri01Summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived from the innards, and off I trotted to the wet room. The amount evacuated was again ginormous, yet the system coped with it, well almost. There were some unrecognised bits still floating in the water after flushing. What it was, I know not, but it was a little concerning all the same.

5Fri03I was about to put the camera away after taking the shot of the WC above. But, could I find the lens cover to put back on it? No! Well, not for ages anyway. I searched back in the computer room, no luck there. Had a look in the kitchen, nope! Back in the wet room, couldn’t find it, so I took the snaps of the pins (legs).  Then as I was leaving the room. there they were, in plain view all the time on top of a loo roll! My sanity is coming into question, this is the third 5Fri08time its happened this new year, already! The pins had gone even more anaemic! The veins looked like they were about to erupt again. I took a snap of the kitchen window view as the blue hue took over the skies.

5Fri02

5Fri04I went on the WordPress reader. Then went on my beloved TFZer Facebooking site. Taking a lot of time to get the photographs on, with these also needing new albums creating.

I moved the handwashing around on the airer. By gum, I’m a good lad!

Tired as I was, the templates still need making up. So, I made a start on them in CorelDraw. I got two finished, and got some beef, black beans, tomatoes, and gungo beans in the saucepan, and added some balsamic vinegar, salt, tomato puree, basil and beef seasoning. It doesn’t much, but when it was stirred well, it tasted pretty good. So I must get the other graphics done, and remember to keep going to stir the pan.

Which I did, and eventually got the other two days graphicalisations done.

Totally shattered now. Turned off the computer and had a look at what was on offer on the TV.  Channel 63 looks interesting if I can get in on my set.

5Fri10Got the nosh prepped. Beef in the pan with caramelised gravy, rosemary and basil, tomatoes and puree, balsamic vinegar, black beans, carrots, onions, gungo beans and all on the simmer for yonks. 

Timer set, to remind me to put the baguette in the oven in time for everything to be ready at the same time.

Got it served up in the dish. I thought I’d better get the saucepan cleaned first, as it was in a right sticky, messy state. So, I did.

5Fri11Then got it served on the tray, took it and sat in the £300 second-hand, c1968 recliner, and ate it while watching the TV version of Quatermass 2 on a DVD. All six episodes, and without nodding off, well, maybe the odd one. A lemon mousse for afters. I was most delighted with the flavour and gave it a rating of 8/10.

When the DVD had ended, I got the pots washed, thought about doing the handwashing, but chickened out, took the medications, and returned to the grungily-beige-coloured recliner.

The mind-blasting started. All past and present failures, mistakes, wrong choices made, fears, hatreds and jealousies mingled together, tormenting my already weak mind and apatheticness to sink even further. It felt like it lasted for hours and hours, with no pardons, forgiveness, corrective thoughts or ideas, and self-denigration flourished.

I assume I got to sleep eventually because I woke up later. Hehe!

Folks born in January: They age backwards and are the liveliest people to be around as they get older and older. So many of them live to be 100!

Happy Birthdays for Sister Jane and xyrophobia-suffering hubby Pete.