Local News Snippets for Nottingham


ODE TO THE PAROLE BOARD ZOMBIES

Forgive my hatred of the murderers on the Parole Board…
My confidence in them will never be restored,

Are they under the thumb of a drug or gang lord?
Are they permanently pissed, schnockered?
Cause freeing murderers all the time, I’m shocked!
Freeing to kill again, this should have been stopped.

Parole Board? More like a smorgasbord!
When they go on holiday, wherever their boat is moored…
I wouldn’t mind if they fall overboard in the fjord!

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Well, it must be at least one murder a day in Nottinghamshire this year,
Yet folk carry on as if they have no fear?
To me, this all seems odd and queer,
The world going ever crazier…
Chanced for man’s survival, is doubtfuller,
Going outdoors has never been dicier!
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Police Inspector: ““I am pleased we have now charged a suspect in connection with this offence and would like to thank all of the officers involved for their quick response and determination.” Why are they not normally responsive or determined, then? More police on the beat might have been a better option. Ah, the cost… I see! I’ll try to visit the lady in the hospital and explain it to her.
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The gentlemen arrested and victim, for that matter, seem to be a little old for these violent shenanigans. I’m looking forward to and hoping to find out what went on. Mind you, the police are as well.
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I rather hope it was not in an Easy Link bus; I use and pay them for lifts to the Diabetes Sessions. I’ll remember not to question any driver next time they say I can’t use my bus pass to get a reduction in price.
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Scumballs!
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Thought I’d just slip a bit of good news in here!
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This must sound attractive to anyone thinking of relocating to Nottinghamshire to live or enjoy a worry-free, peaceful retirement?

Well, at least he chose the dearest supermarket firm to rob. I suppose they have been robbing us, certainly me, with all their ridiculous increases in prices. Now they send me a Coupon – to save £30 on my next online shopping. But I’ll have to spend not the usual $40, but £80! to get it. Bearing in mind that there will be a delivery charge if you spend below…
So, if they have, and they always have any products unavailable, then the saving will not apply. Also, last week, the limit permitted to buy on some lines had: Spring water – One. Freshly sliced potatoes – One. Five unavailables, three substitutions. But it doesn’t bother me in the slightest!

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Did I read that sentence right?

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Wotta record!
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Don’t they look like a sweet set of men?

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