28 | December | 2024 | Inchie Today

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With intruders in my brain, eyedrops in my eyes…
No hair needs to be permed, washed or blow-dried,
Medications to take, ointments to apply,
Catheter to change… pains that I can’t nullify,
Toothache, Arthur Itis, I get by, by and by,
It’s my brain I need to reclaim, defunkify…

Doreen Dementia, & Cognitive Impairment Iris,
Of my ailments, they are the awesomest,
Now, I don’t want to seem an alarmist…
They rule the brain with brazen audaciousness,
No help from my doctor or psychiatrist,
Maybe I should try an acupuncturist?

I put up with them, I think, admirably?
Despite their internal argie-bargie,
They confuse me with anything arithmaticy,
Twist matters logical and practical & my memory,
It’s impossible to converse with them amiably,
Mostly, they come over antagonistically!

They are in my brain, so no problems audiologically,
They are dictators rather than supervisees,
My reactions can be tenuously or timorously,
My uncertainty, they always guarantee…
Acting vexatiously, viciously, always victoriously,
To a degree, I admire their wizardly!

My brain makes me a perfect accommodationist,
I’m an easy target, being an anthropomorphist…
Seizures installed by these anaesthesiologists?
On the one hand, they are undoubtedly abstrucities,
They’ve made my brain an acropolis…
So, I struggle at times to gain access!

Their actions mostly, I fail to comprehend,
Obviously, my IQ became overburdened…
But my EQ has never wavered or stuttered,
I don’t know which side my bread is buttered,
So, common sense, I’ve had to suspend,
I admit to feeling a smidge frightened!

Each of them is a cerebrum adulterator,
Assured of brain-installing habromania,
How to get help? An astrologer, an auger?
Will I still them in Hell hereinafter?
Is it possible at all to find an ameliorator?
They’ve beaten the best, such as Maggie Thatcher!
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A restless waking up far too often sleep. 0425hrs: Gave up and got up from the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. I didn’t make it to bed last night. I was trying to stay awake to watch the football. Then, naturally, as I started to watch the TV, I fell asleep, waking up with the jump and tweaking away. But could I get back to sleep? I only stayed that way for minutes, banging away again. Occasionally joined in. This repeated until I resigned myself to surrendering and getting up. Marvellous, one tries to stay awake so as not to miss the footy, but that comes on, and I fall asleep. I miss the football, and then I can’t get back to sleep! Humph!

I was pleased with the colour of the urine this morning. Carer Chris gave it a Five from the NHS colour chart. Best morning shade for weeks.

I went into the kitchen to check the taps and saw the fog again. It was even thicker than it was yesterday. I could barely discern the lights. I assume there were some out there? I took a second shot of the view in a different photo mode. This time, I could make out some vague bits of green that must be trees?

I did the Blood Pressure on the Sphygmomanometer. It came out just inside the ‘Hyper range’; it was not high enough to cause me any concern.

I sorted all four of the waste bin bags into one. And took them to the front door. I am hoping a Carer will take them to the chute for me. I would have taken it, but with the kitchen thermometer only reading 40°F, it was just a smidgeon too cold to risk going out there yet. Haha!

I refilled the Nurse’s & Carer’s nibble box on their table. Then, the need for the Porcelain Throne arose.
Although not as big or painful as yesterday’s monster passing, it was still enough to bring water to my eyes. Hehehe! One good thing about Constipation Conrad’s evacuation is that it leads to fewer premature escapages than Trotsky Terence’s.

At long last. I made a brew of 99 tea, got on the computer and changed the date on my almost historical clock calendar. Then .
The text writing on WordPress suddenly stopped me from moving about the mouse without outlining all the text. It was impossible to write anything. I tried doing text in CorelDraw, then MS Word, with the same results.
I closed down WordPress and CorelDraw, and then a screen appeared with Prosessers in the use list, which had hundreds of items on the list. I had no idea what was causing or what this was all about.

Carer Christopher arrived as I tried to sort things out and what to try or do about it. He issued the medications. Then, he changed the Catheter Contraption for me; lastly, he got the diabetic socks onto my legs. (Lovely & warm, now!)

I tried to remember what had gone off with the computer.
The screen with the listing has a Stop Process button, which was no longer highlighted. So, I closed the window and tried writing again after reopening CorelDraw and WordPress, and it worked. I can’t cope with technology! Still, it allowed me to finish yesterday’s blog and post it.

I had started on the photographs for this blog. And a swarth of came over me for about an hour. Somehow, it seems that I kept on typing away through them all. When I partially regained my faculties, I found a mess grammatically and one paragraph that did not mean anything to me, all gobble-di-gook!
Sorting them out took me more than another hour, and even then, I made and found more errors. I wanted to try to make time to read January’s templates. I hope I can get this done; having them ready to use on file does save time each day. Boy, the time is flying.

Carer Joanne arrived. We had a natter, and she related her holiday mishaps. Bless her 🧡. It sounded like I was listening to myself. Haha! I do like that gal.

After some more work on the blog after Joanne had gone, I decided to try to get the templates made up. With hope in my heart and crossed fingers. (I do not really cross my fingers; Arthur Itis no longer allows me to cross my fingers. Although Colin Cramps often bends and twists them when I don’t want them to be like that!) I’ve dropped many things over the years thanks to Colin & Arthur Itis.
Here goes: I’m continuing with the template work, which I expect to take 2½ hours, the same as last month. It is now 1230 hrs. See if I get them done, and remember to check how long it takes me this time. I hope the computer & CorelDraw do not play up again.

God Heavens: I’ve just finished, and it is 1630hrs! Took me a lot longer this time. I said I was struggling to get things done, but I didn’t think this would take me that long. Again, correcting mistakes, those that I noticed cost me a lot of time. Made a brew of Glengettie to celebrate.

Fish balls in batter, pickled beetroot, onions, green tomatoes, carrots & home-pickled water chestnuts.
Very nice!
The landline chimed. It was the Doctor’s receptionist. The DVT Warfarin blood test showed a low INR count, so she gave me a new dosage: 1½ Warfarin tablets each night. Even I should remember that.

Being unsure of myself, I rechecked the templates. I took this shot through the balcony door, and only the fog was seeable. It felt dreary and cold. I checked the kitchen thermometer, and it was showing only 35.6°F.
Carer Chris just arrived after I’d written his name. Haha!
Meds were issued, and he told me that I’d not put any granules or wash-pods in the laundry he took this morning. Thankfully, I remembered to ask Christopher to put the socks on me. He took them with him as he left.