Inchcock Today: Not a Good One!

We’ll start with the Ode,
Cause I’m tired and old,
Sorry, there’s no centrefold…
Oh, dearie me, I just scowled.
Just stubbed my toe; I let a naughty word go…
Read about another murderer being paroled!

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Hope this one gets a smile or even a laugh…

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Today felt like the longest day – ever!

0525hrs: I sprang awake with the usual verbal Huh! In mental confusion and a mind-muddle. That’s also a regular awakening scenario.
However, I was soon out of the c1968 recliner. And after a regulation wee-wee; The brain seemed to come partially together, and I remembered both the Amazon order was coming today and the delightful Carol to do the washing in place of Esther. The Amazon order should be the gigantic bottle of Ben’s hickory smoked barbecue sauce on its way to me. I adore the flavour of this one. It may not as strong as some other sauces are, but it’s smoked to perfection! And along with the wonderful Stubbs Hickory Liquid Smoke, will be used in the chilli I make. This passes Josies and my taste buds test to a tee! I also use it on the veggie burgers. Oh, I do live well… That might be a slight exaggeration. Hehe!

I checked the state of the plates first, not the dinner plates, my plates of meat, feet. They looked good, but they were painful underfoot. Having said that, They’ve been a lot worse, so I’m not going to grumble!
For some weird reason, I remembered the mould on the bottom of the shower area. I got the Mr Muscle Spray and used it all, covering the affected area. Then thought I’d leave it for the recommended 15 minutes and, naturally, I forgot all about it. Ahem! !

I made up the waste bags, then I cleaned the cooker top… I did think about cleaning the oven… but, well, you know how it is… Hehehe!

Arrived and inquired as he came through the door what that smell was. At this point, I remembered the mould spray I’d lathered the wet room and floor with. Richard went in, looked around and turned to me with that famous half-smile and a he is, look on his face! He pointed out that I’d used shower gel, not a mould cleaner. He helpfully told me to nip down to Sherwood and buy some. Hehe!

It was so late in the night that by the time I made a start on this blog, my eyes were making it so hard for me to see properly. The notes on the ‘remember-pad’ have wriggling letters and words, so I’ll have to either guess or ignore what I cannot decipher. Sorry!

I’d not heard from HRH or Billum for a while. I was a little worried, so sent an email asking how things were – with hopes that they were okay. I love them both; they have such great personalities and are caring people.

Little did I know of what lay in store for me today. Ups and downers and more frustrations through things I did wrongly cost me dearly in time. I was up all day and night, trying to make things right again. Humph!

Carol, the ex-carer, who is standing in for Esther, came in, but of course, I could not hear her. Good job that I wasn’t using the bucket or medicating any bleeding areas at the time. I mentioned that it would be best if she pressed the doorbell before coming in. I spoke very matter-of-factly so as not to hurt her feelings. She apologised, and I said there is no need for that; you were not to know. She’s a lovely lady. She took the laundry for washing and said she will return. Bless her.

Now all the scribbling I’d done for over 14 hours was getting harder to read. I think I see “To the waste chute with Richard… Stubbed Toe and then mixed in. Back at the flat – Carol returned with the washing. But there is a lot of writing that means nothing to me now. Grungleturds! Carol and I had a natter, and she left the bag in the junk room for me. I still haven’t got around to taking the clothes out as hung up yet! It’d been the sort of day.

I do remember a … Oh, yes! As Carol was leaving, I, yes me! Realised I’d not paid her yet! Which I did, post haste… well, as soon as I found where I’d left my money, that took the edge off of my smugness, Hahaha! Another line of nothingness on the pad.

As I sat down to check on the Amazon delivery tracker, Anne Gyna kicked off, and she made a good job of it. So much so that like yesterday, I took gulps of Pentax, and having taken an extra Beta-Blocker, I dare not take any more, so took a Codeine 30g, but she’s been at me ever since. Even now, so many hours later, Anne is letting me know she’s still there, and it’s nearly midnight now! Being worried about Billum and HRH isn’t helping, I suppose. Worra day!

I then sorted it out. Better late than never.
The figures looked okay to me, and the body temperature was almost spot-on. Surely the NHS result configurator will show this time a lower overall figure? I put in the numbers on their site, And sure enough, I was nearly in the amber zone. Yee-Ha!
I had an email come in while I was making this graph copy. It was from the wonderboys at Iceland – telling me the order is on its way, but with a few changes – confusing ones at that!

At least I got some No-Bull mushroom steaks and Vegan Ice cream. Not that I needed the ice cream at all; after finding out how much I’d already got in the freezer when I put the goods away later when they arrived. Well, would it be impossible to put them away before they arrive? Hahaha! It’s also so sad that the best burgers, the No-Moo brand, have stopped being stocked by Iceland – The Gits! I can’t find any of the other shops that are stocking them! Humph! The Iceland order arrived. The chap went through and put the food bags into the kitchen for me.

I thanked him and offered a cold drink for both men. Vodka and lime and a G & T were selected.
I had an extra problem on my hands now. Reading the short life dates on the chips, potatoes, burgers and what was the other thing? I forget now; it seems like days since the delivery to me, with no sleep for so long. Grumps!
I got the things in the fridge as quickly as I could. I needed a bit of jiggling about to make everything fit in there.
I spotted the vegan cheese that I bought earlier. Must get that used up.
You see here on the left what I mean about my being overstocked on the vegan ice cream? That is because they  (Iceland) have stopped selling the No-Moo burgers, and I suspect that the ice cream might be the next to be abandoned. I have little confidence in Iceland’s system.

Got on the computer, at last, to start finalising yesterday’s blog. I can see another early morning to bed job for me again. But soon got disturbed. But on this occasion, I welcomed it, for it was Carol returning the laundry. This is when I got smug at remembering I’d not paid her, then looking somewhat of a , when it took me five minutes to find my cash so I could pay Carol. Tsk!

I found that two letters had been posted; one was the DVT Warfarin Anticoagulation figures and doses. The other was from the CT4N transport.

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Some of the writing on the leaflet from CT4N I could read. The graph with the prices for each trip out and in, or in and out, was clearly seeable. So, I assume I can use my oldies bus pass to get the cheaper rate, I think. So, it will cost me £9 for each of the 24 sessions of the Diabetes Training or whatever it’s called.
I must see Deana tomorrow to see if she’s arranged a lift for each session for me. Cause I reckon it says I’ve got to ring them for each trip? The eight A4 double-sided pages on rules and actions needed to use them (DT4N) are just too small to read. I think I can feel Cataract Cathleen laughing inside my head. Hahaha!

He’s now playing away at drilling, and knock-knocking, with the occasion clattering sound effects. Not getting on well with the blogging at all here. However, I did finally get the Monday post done and sent off, 14 hours later than usual, to WP. Email links were sent out, and then the “Oh, Susana” tune chimed away.

It was the Amazon delivery. Well, a part of it anyway. The extra-large super-duper Ben’s hickory smoked barbecue sauce, my taste buds were tingling at the thought of it! It is mouth-wateringly tasty!
I think I must have got something wrong again when I ordered the writing pads. I’,m sure I used the steel ruler to measure that t the page size would be the same as the ones I’m using now… but no!
You see the pack of eight pads next to the BBQ sauce bottle – eight pads! The bottle of Ben’s is thicker than the pads are wide!
I think my Arithmophobia let me down again somewhere along the line in ordering these. Ah, well, I’m not really surprised. I’m just so annoyed with myself again!
Then the biggest time-coster of the day…
Last week, I made up some of the tabs, like the Whoopsiedangleplop one above, in this colour, ready to use here. I can even remember when I did them. Straight after, the metal-tasting reflux came up, followed by a scary Dizzy Dennis bout. Within minutes things improved, but although I was close to getting my head down, I stayed up all night CorelDrawing and creating the tabs. (Truth is, I was weary of sleeping in case the reflux came up again). I am a cowardy-custard!) So today should have saved me time, not cost me it!
I went to use the first one and realised I made them all the wrong size. I thought at first, slightly annoyed again, I’ll just have to edit each one with a new size; time-consuming, yes, but a damned site better than having to spend literally hours making a new set… I thought. 
❶ I didn’t realise that the editor only allows you one edit per photo per graphic, and I could not alter them. ❷ But before I could start to create a new set, I had to clear the blog gallery of all the old ones, so they wouldn’t clash with the new ones! So, I did! ❸ Then, take all the old ones off of the hard-drive file to lighten the load on that, so I did! ❹ Double checking that the file and gallery were free of all the old ones, and at just the wrong moment shook me silly; I’ve no idea what I might have pressed as the cursor shot across the screen… but Corel Draw closed itself down!  I genuinely think I might have cried! ❺ As if she was mocking me, kicked off!

❻ I stopped, and a Dracula Depression fought its way through the pain to get at me. And a sad Inchy just sat in the chair here, saying nothing, but the Thought-Storms were raging. I felt so sorry for myself, then I felt ashamed, and it was me sinking to a new low… ❼ Silly, but I believed a mug of tea would somehow help and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on… ❽ I didn’t make it, for fortuitously I got a en route… which made me even angrier, I’m not one for getting angry, but this time I think I was; everything blurred for a short while as if I was walking through fire and smoke… I’m not joking! The pain I was in must have triggered some defence mechanism I’ve not had before. For I suddenly resolved myself not to be beaten – and returned to the computer, and admittedly with a certain amount of incertitude, restarted CorelDraw. ❾ Of course, then I had lost the last saved version of the file! So, I saved this saved version to the old name, and things looked good. Hope was in the air! ❿ Then, all I had to do was pray that neurotransmitters and SSS didn’t bother me again and spent well over two more hours getting the new set of tabs completed!
I’d not had a shave or wash; I was in agony and so tired… yet this new spirit of resistance won the day, and I could get on with this blog once again. A SUPER . But was soon disturbed, in the nicest way…

By Cheeky Charley, the cheerful tonight carer. Because last night, I had dropped a tablet, tonight she hand-fed them to me, one at a time. She washed my stomach, where some blood had dropped earlier in the day when bile came up, and Charley made sure I was feeling okay before she left, all chirpy and gay! I think tonight she was going on the Girlie-Night-Out, and if so, I bet she was the star of the show, wherever they went. Hahaha! ♥

Back to the blogging grindstone, but a happier lad… well, I say lad… I was so worn out mentally, but Anne Gyna eased off at last, and then I had a break and checked on the emails. To Billum and HRH Lisa, they had replied to my email, letting me know they were okay and recovering from a nightmare hospital visit for Lisa. The nightmare was the hotel they were staying in. So much noise they could not get any sleep. Youngsters with their music and noise. Which is so sad. Between the three of us, who all suffer from sleep deprivation, and all three of us get it at the same time! I’m just thankful their absence was not caused by illness or accident; they both have more than enough to cope with as it is. This news kept me going. I checked the email again.

Billum let me know a bit more of his Whoopsiedangleplops. HRH and he went through. A sad Tale of Woe. We three share that trait. Hehehe!


Evening All!

Inchcock Today: Another grinding one!

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I rejoined this cruel, scary, obnoxious world again at 06:10hrs. Most reluctantly, I have to admit. As I slowly worked out that I’d managed to get four hours kip in… the Thoughts Storms began to rage! Within minutes, the traditional wee-wee was wanted.

As I was freeing my elephantine body from the sweet clutches of the recliner, the acid, metal taste came up from the innards and nose? Accompanied by some nasty Dennis dizzy-bouts. I’ve been having sessions like this occasionally over the last few days. Mostly not long after waking up. More mysteries of Woodthorpe Court’s sinister Spirit’s master plan. To raise the devil, spread wonders, blunders, rodomontades, fears and descenders from the comfort of sanity into a gibbering wreck! As soon as I get help to ring the surgery, I’ll ask for a face-to-face with the doctor. Cause these do worry me a smidgeon. This one, like all those before, had cleared within ten minutes or so?

The head and throat cleared, I made for the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), Passed a few dribbles of wee, then had to wait for ages again, with a lot of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling) Been regular this late dribbling for a few days now. What’s going on here? Tsk!

I went to start the sphygmomanometerisationing, and I realised how painful the feet were to hobble on. I took this photo of them,
They didn’t look too bad to me. Another puzzle! Haha!
The Blood Pressure figures were a bit higher this morning. But no complaints; they have been great for about a week; some days, they’ve been spot on target.
I put the numbers in the DVT sites calculator to see what would come up this time.

Whoo-Whoo! Betterer than yesterday; and only just edging into the red area.
Pleased that something was going right. I got the waste bags made up and off to the front door, unlocking it as I did. Hobbled back to the kitchenette to get the kettle on, and ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chimed out.

ARRIVED: I greeted the lad with as much enthusiasm as could; he seemed a little perkier today, I’m glad to say. He got the dosages sorted out and given, then checked on the stock in the medical drawer in the kitchen. Richard reminded me about the Diabetes session on Friday; bless him. No messing about today; he was off in a flash. Gave him his bottle and can from the fridge and the nibbles (Brussels pate with caramelised onion) in a bag as he departed. I hope he can get some sleep in today. He should be back tomorrow.

My supercilious, egotistic, standoffish friend from the flat above kicked of with his do-it-yourself concert. Drilling, humming, banging and clanging.

The beautiful. kind, empathetic haematology nurse arrived.
By gum, she does my heart some good, just to see her 💙. As she came in, Herbert, who must have heard the loud door-chime, ceased his noise. The gal soon got my blood taken and gave me a few minutes chinwags as she cleared her things back into the bag. I mentioned the low DIA in the Blood Pressure yesterday. In hopes that she might mention it to someone who cares enough to contact me about it. Tsk! What am I saying? Fool!

A minute after Hristina had left, Herbert was off a gain. All drilling this time, but not for long, bless him.

I got the two blogs, the Sunday Diary and Local News Snippets, finished and posted off to WP. It’s getting on for midday, and I’d not even started on this one yet! So, I went on CorelDraw to do the page top, header and Ode block… That was the plan, anyway!

and CorelDraw did worse than yesterday! Shit! It won’t let me use the keyboard for any actions. Which, of course, makes the job so much more efficient and saves time. actions. I was sinking into a Dracula Depression and felt sorry for myself… But I pulled myself together and spent four hours trying to find a way of sorting out the problem… of course. I had no idea what it was I was doing wrong in the first place.

The evening carer could be coming shortly, and I’ve not got much done at all. Without CorelDraw, I can’t get the job done. Grrr! I’d done this earlier, twice, but tried a third time!  I closed everything down slowly, turned off the computer, and decided to leave it for half an hour, at least, then try again… hopes were not good. If I have to try to reinstall the ‘programme’… well, I can’t anyway, no passwords now, it’s been years since… of shut-up Inchcock! 

Go and make a brew… that tells you how busy I’ve been, for 9 hours of getting nothing done, and this will be only my second mug of tea of the day!

Boy, did I give myself a superior toe-stubbing? Yes. I did! Agony! The right foot has come up all red and bloated… fed-up is far too calm a word to use. I can hardly walk at the moment. Humph!

It must have been an hour after going to make a brew, which I didn’t do! I got Germolene on the foot; with the aid of the picker-upper stick. Then took an extra Codeine 30g. Thought I’d have a guzzle of Peptac.

Back to the computer… nervously and prepared for heart attack, stroke or Ann Gyna seeing me off, as I find that CorelDraw is not going to have it. I started the computer up, and it was with a sinking heart. I turned it on and pressed the CorelDraw button…

It told me that another saved file has been found, ‘Do you want to open it?’ So, after a few seconds of musing, I decided I’d better, cause this just might cure the problem… y hopes foolishy increased, and I did!
Yesterday’s blog came up??? Now I was mega-confused! I did a search for today’s blog because it wasn’t in the file I usually keep it in. Baffling, innit?

As I was searching, I realised that it wasn’t yesterday’s blog… well, it was… I’m losing it here… but I keep a page for each day of the week, and for some reason or other, CorelDraw always opens on different days showing. So, I went back to the ‘Found File and opened it again. Yep, it was the right file. At this point, there was much swearing, self-hatred and belittling, and Anne Gyna kicked off worse than she had done for years! It was so bad and painful that I took an extra (Bete-Blocker) too.

Just got the results from the DVT Warfarin blood test this morning.
A little high this time, but nowt to fret about. ,
They have lowered the does over the week,
Which brought back memories of Hristina, the patient, caring Angel-Nurse, which cheered me up a good bit. ♥
Bless her cotton socks!
I ordered some of my total favourites, Ben’s BBQ sauce and cashew nuts, from Amazon. And added some Jacobs Mini Cheddars (Leicester Chees flavour) to the Iceland order.

Took a photo from the kitchen window of the puffer clouds. Oh, how I love to just watch them. I can’t help it. I even did a spot of paranoliaring. Yes, I’ve fallen foul of the phenomenon of pareidolia. Found a few as well!

Great Balls of Fire! Look at the time!, the carer will be here… Hello… Cheeky Charlie has arrived. She came into the room to tell me that she had turned of the tap that I left running in the kitchen! She didn’t like the look of me tonight and inquired if I was alright. After listening to my tale of Woe with the innards trying to come up with the metallic taste in the throat and mouth, Charlie told me to ask the Monday Carer to phone the doctor to make an appointment, reminding me that I didn’t look too good. Hehe! Bless her!

I got on with updating this blog. I might get it done before November. I’m not making any promises, though, Hahaha!
Got some chips and a veggie burger in the oven and went back to blogging. I must be feeling better, to want something to eat, don’t you thinketh?

Hopefully, the late sunsetting might come out as the chips are being out of the oven. I’ll have to finish this in the morning. The eyes are tired now.

Nosh-Time: A day out-of-date fresh cut chips (fries). Some new potatoes with basil. (I saved some for Richard in the morning in the fridge), hope that he likes them; they are rather good.
A veggie-burger. (Sadly, I can longer get any No-Bull ones [Iceland stopped stocking them], but these are okay, just not as good tasting – Sob!) 

I got on with creating another masterpiece of an ode…

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Keep Safe, Folks!

Inchcock Today: Diary & Ode

AND THE HOSPITAL VISIT

Friday 15th July 2022

Not in too much detail early one. I fear time was against me today, getting things sorted out for the trip to the EENT Hospital in the morning.

My first thought was I wanted to go back to sleep and had an extreme disinterest in getting up. But a wet warm sensation from the rear end encouraged me to clamber out of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep-deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner and off to the wet room tp check things out. En route further enlivened me. I messed and Pottered about getting confused and self-hassled. I stirred back into imitation life around 05:50hrs.

True to his promise, Carer Richard arrived dead on 06:00hrs. He was pleased that I knew which day it was. I remembered what it was that Jillie asked me to ask Richard!
The Blood Pressure’s SIA caught me out at 166. The DIA at 98, both too high that by a fair bit. However, the pulse and body temperatures were honky-dory! I entered the figures into the NHS site to see what they make of it. Oh, I see; this was the result. Not a good start, methinks. You know, it’ll be back down in the morning. Or not, of course, there is always that possibility. Let’s face it, with my record, anything is possible. (As I hope you’ll read about later, when I was in the ambulance, Hehehe!) It was a humorous yet embarrassing incident that failed to bring any laughter to the ambulance man & woman, but things were not going well for them.

I made a start on this blog; to get as far as I could with it, just in case the operation was done and I’d incapacitated by blindness (It wasn’t done as it happens, but more about that later).
Of course, the wee-wees started coming, weak sprinkly affairs, but each one was leaking before its time! So, on the third or fourth burst, I decided to get the ablutions done and replace the PPs with thicker, more efficient Tena ones. Even if they do stick out a little prominently under the trouser’s rear-end. I also stopped drinking any more spring water; I feared all the immanent waiting about at the hospital may produce leakages! Hehe!
On with the scrubbing-up, I ventured. As you can see, there were a couple of nicks while shaving. One on the cheek, the other on the left ear-hole tab-hole. Nowt serious, though. I missed cleaning the teggies altogether – no idea why; Dementia Doreen I should blame. Then some niftily quick, which brought out more bleeding; From Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, and Harold’s Haemorrhoids. I had no trips or walking into anything or tumbles.

Still no sign of transport, and it’s getting late. So, as the beautiful morning view of the skies caught my eye, I thought I’d take a couple of shots of it with the Canon camera. I did as soon as I found out where I’d put the camera for the trip to the hospital. It took some finding, and as for the sunglasses, it’s evening now, and I still haven’t found them! Hehehe! I took another shot below, showing the parked cars on Chestnut Way. An incredible view, which I am pleased to have here at the flats. Strange that all the red vehicles seem to be avoiding this part of the site’s parking zones today? Haha! Whites, grey and blacks only? There’ll be a reason for this. I suppose. I made sure all the stuff was saved, and I shut down the computer. Then sat on a chair near the door so I didn’t miss the intercom if it rang… clever stuff, I thought? Well, for me! It’s set on the highest level available, but many folks have said they cannot hear it, so I’m not on my own. A clever move there on behalf of the Nottingham City Homes planners, ensuring that it is suitable for a block of flats with 70, 80, and 90+-year-olds living in it. Similar to the finger-strapping metal spring clips on the end balcony windows… Oh, and balcony slide doors, apart from the few that have fallen off the runners when used. Not only mine but others too. And they are cumbersome, too, I can assure you. Any injuries have been well hidden. You can see my mind wandering while waiting for the lift. Hehe!

Aha, the intercom buzzed. I’d everything ready so as not to keep them waiting. A dingle crewed chap, who told he was pleased I was all-prepared; because he’d been running late all morning. We picked up an elderly lady in Woodthorpe en route. We tried to have a natter in the back of the ambulance, but we struggled with hearing each other. Pleasant lady, going to the same place, EENT, I think.

I realised when I ferreted through my pockets and trolley that my plans had not gone to plan. I assume the sunglasses, bobble hat, and wristwatch were still on the Carer’s table back at the flat.

We were soon at the QMC EENT unit. The driver took me in first, explaining to the lady that on his own, he can only take in one person at a time. I bade farewell to the lady, wishing her all the best, and hobbled into the integral unit, led by the driver. Who ascertained that I had to go through to another block. Luckily he was still behind me when I got lost, and he corrected me, with a wry smile on his face, to the suitable unit. Haha! Where I waited to be seen.

A lady called out my name, and she took me through to yet another place, where I waited again. Minutes later, another lady fetched me and took me to her treatment room. Oh, yes, ladies are desperate for me! This happens all the time, you know…

I found out that the paperwork was wrong, and today was not as it said; Not the operation, but more assessments and tests on the eyes. All of which I had on my last appointment? Fair enough, there were many different eye tests, intending to make the plastic cornea a different size to match my misshaped one, which may prove too difficult, making the operation impossible. Well, that cheered me up, no-end! An hour or so after getting the tests and questions, the kind lady walked me back to the correct reception, and she told the lady I needed transporting. (She didn’t say where to, Pluto perhaps? Hahaha!.

ODE TO THE WAIT

I got seated and began the marathon wait for transport,
It wasn’t a quick wait… not short,
But I made up a game for fun and sport…
Counting patients, who arrived after me, made me haught…
Who went before me, making me fraught…

The place cleared; have they forgotten about me, I feared?
After three hours, I felt a bit weird…
I’m not brave, a stalwart, but a worrywart,
No one around to ask or to talk…
Nothing occurring to which I could claught…
Any hopes of a lift of any sort,
Four hours later, relief from worry was bought,
Two medics arrived for me; I was overwrought,
To the ambulance, I did cavort,
But pleasure in it, that I can report…
Getting home left me despondent and taut!

Inside the ambulance was a stretcher. The male of the pair of medics said: We’ve got to collect someone else from the gynaecology Wing over the road. I waited so long that it didn’t bother me. The stretcher was unfastened, and off they went to collect their patient.
I thought it a good idea to phone Jillie on my mobile while on my own. So, I did! To tell her to thank you, my honeypot, but the operation wasn’t done, so no need for your kind offer of coming to stay with me, as I can still see.
  Things didn’t pan out as I had wished. I got through to Jillie, and damned Peripheral Pete gave me an Involuntary right-leg Idiopathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dance routine! Despite my having had the seatbelt buckled, I managed somehow to end up on the floor of the ambulance. I fumbled my way back into the seat and slid the belt back on before the medics got back, which was ten minutes late, with a young lady on the stretcher. As they wheeled her into the ambulance, and she padded me on the right side, I gave her a welcoming smile and unintentional wink from the bad eye. Thankfully she gave me such a sweet smile back… then! Bless her! I think it was her appreciation for someone smiling and talking to her, not at her.

The crew could not get the stretcher holder mechanism to reset or lock. Well, that’s all they seemed interested in as they repeatedly banged and pushed the trolley into the mechanism. I swear they never thought about the patient getting knocked all over as they did it. I asked the lady if she was alright and got dirty looks from Mork & Mindy for it. This made a temporary bond between the gal and me, I think.

The crew spoke to we patients, which was not often apart from talking between themselves. ‘We’ll have to get help cause we can’t get the stretcher to lock’ (You don’t say?) One of them fetched another paramedic who arrived to have a look, and he clicked it in the first time! Much to my and the lady’s relief! We tried to chat on the way, but hearing her was difficult with the engine and traffic noise, but she seemed to be feeling better.

They dropped me off after a cock-up that may have been mine, I’m not sure. I mentioned when they were looking for which block I live in, the end one. Then proceeded to explain why they could get confused, Winchester Court, Winwood Court, and Woodthorpe Court; all three are called Windwood Heights. Then the female told the driver to go back. He lives in Winwood! Which he did. I had to embarrassingly (if I had told them wrongly). That he was right, I do live at the end one… Oh, dear, if looks could kill, I’d have been a goner!

I wished the lady on the stretcher well. And gladly told the driver I could manage from here, with a weak ‘Thanks’ added. And turned to wave at the lady, I don’t know if she could see me, but I wanted to. Hope she got home without any more hassle, Bless her cotton socks! ♥

Home Sweet Home! The hat and sunglasses were where I thought I’d left them. I only noticed them glancingly in my haste to avoid any embarrassment on my way to the wee-wee room. I failed! So a good start to my evening’s plans! I had a good clean-up, and I got some fresh PPs on. The Tena ones I was wearing had done a good reliable job in the containment stakes.

Made a brew and got the computer on to do this blog. And the landline burst forth. It was the Deep Vein Thrombosis Clinic nurse, wanting to know if the following Monday would be alright for them to call to take the blood test. Hah! I had to tell her that it was the Cataract appointment day. She will ring me back the day before she comes. Thinking about it afterwards, it might prove problematic if she is going to call Tuesday, wonnit? Just my luck!

The sunshine was still bright. I took a shot through the balcony windows. bootiful sky again!

Joe the Carer arrived, and I started to tell him about the farcical day. But, to avoid him falling to sleep, I cut it short. Hehehe! Gave him a cold bottle of Coots from the fridge, which he appreciated.
A long hard slog of blogging ensued.
Around five hours or so, I did stop for the occasional wee-wee. Several in fact, it’s a miracle I got through all that time at the hospital without needing one – another mystery of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. Worry and confuse me! Crafty that! Cunningly this time, using a bit of good luck for me thrown in the mix.
Veggie burgers (The last, I hope to get some on the next Morrison order, as Iceland were out of stock, Humph!) Tomatoes, garden peas, beetroot, gherkins, and that’s yer lot! A late, late supper instead of a dinner.

Belated food, then bed, and prayer that the day’s events don’t kick off a thought-storming session and stop me sleeping – PLEASE!

Oh, I’d better get this posted first, Tsk! TTFN!

Inchcock: Diary & Ode Sat 28th May 2022

MEANDERING MORNING ODE

That should be befuddlement. Ahem!

Looking Back…
In my 20’s, I was known for my efficient fecundity…
Now due to Doreen’s Dementia, I fear discongruity,
I was fit, capable, popular, lit up a room fulgently…
The mind and body fail, leaving inefficacity,
I was praised for my willpower and social feracity!
Now, I am full of inconsequentiality, inferiority,
Decisions were made, taken almost nonchalantly…
Now my brain’s shared twixt dormancy, quiescently,
The few decisions I make now, I do negligently!

The Ailments…
The ailments increasing, I try to meet acceptingly.
When they first started, I reacted rather petulantly…
Some of the new ones give me hassle persistently,
Glaucoma Gladys, Cartilage Cathy & Cataract Kathy,
One that can be nasty is Peripheral Neuropathy…
Nicodemus’ Neurotransmitters can have me falling,
Deaf Duane in both ears, Duodenal Donald, appalling!
Saccades Sandra, makes me see blurry,
The ankle gives way after the Stroke every day.
Hard to keep my balance, but I recover gradually…
The jumping away can have me off of the settee!

On Reflection…
There’s no benefit in moaning and grumbling,
If you’re going to go over, it’s only tumbling…
How hard and where you fall can leave you bleeding…
But a scrape and a bruise is the likeliest thing…
Somehow, I get through them without hospitalising,
I must have had more luck without realising…
At five, I was thrown into the canal, nearly drowning,
I’ve been shot twice and got a battering…
How I’m still here is somewhat baffling…

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

SATURDAY 28TH MAY

04:20hrs: After so many jumping awakes, I had my last one. I was fed up with not sleeping for more than ten minutes or so and got up for a wee-wee. Which proved to be the reason I stayed up…

① Getting the jammie bottoms untied to whip them down, I got in a right mess. The waste cord knot was not to be unknotted!

There I was, fumbling to get the cord untied, and the pre-dribbling started! The embarrassment and panic of the warm wet sensation trickling down my inner legs and jammies made unlocking the knot even harder to get done… I gave up and forced things down… But there was worse to come…

③ I felt the pain as I got over the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), and the bladder was hurting. It felt, to me, like a torrent as if a fireman’s hosepipe was being released… But no! On closer inspection, it was barely trickling, and what bit was coming out sprayed all over the place! But there was worse to come…

④ I saw the blood on my hands as I manipulated things to avoid my having splashes on the carpet.

⑤ Yes, Little Inches Fungal Lesion was bleeding; I suppose all the rushing and pulling to get the cord freed. A little naughty language was uttered. But there was more to come…

⑥ Due to the mixture of waste liquid and blood, I wiggled more than walked with the bucket to get it emptied and sanitised. As I got in the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on the server trolley wheel. But there was still more to come…

⑦ After cleaning the bucket, and getting another one with Dettol disinfectant, to clean up the overspray and spillages in the front room, I turned and knocked the Dettol bottle off the side of the sink. I’ve known one of those plastic bottles to split open before! Cleaned it up, and as if a robot… a disheartened robot, went to clean the front room. Which I managed without any further bother… until…

⑧ I went to take the jammies off and soak them in disinfectant and washing powder. And the need to visit the Porcelain Throne arrived. I wasn’t done with cock-ups yet…

⑨ I knocked my toe against the clothes airer’s wheel, and it was possibly the most excruciating stub ever! I could feel the bile rising now!

⑩ I got in and down on the seat, watching the blood drip from Little Inchies lesion, but there was no pain coming from it? More confusion! The evacuation was reluctant to start, so O got the cream and washed and ointmentated the lesion as I waited for the action to start, back onto the Throne. A sudden spurt, and it was all over in seconds… But what a mess to clean up! Almost liquid! So, I got on with the job, rinsed the jammie bottoms and put them back in a fresh bucket of antiseptic. Then I cleaned my nether regions and got new PPs (Protection Pants).

The relief when I’d got everything sorted was phenomenal. I even think I started singing… Cliff Richard’s ♫’The Young Ones’♫. I believe it was the first one.

I’d come out of it well, really. Apart from the fungal lesion now starting to hurt and Harold’s Haemorrhoids stinging. The stubbed toe had died down, and I put the kettle on.

Self-Satisfied…

That was a rather nasty, severe start to the day,
Believe it or not, the memory is now far away…
I coped and managed, my recovery well underway,
In fact, I’m pleased with myself, I can honestly say!
I got through it all, my depression flewaway!
Mind you, I’m expecting the next coming malady…
There are bound to be more, as there is every day,
No signs of my moaning-mopes left or paranoia!
But the wee-wees stay, frequently with overspray…
I genuinely think this may be a better Saturday!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –.

I got on the computer and loaded the pictures for yesterday’s blog updating and got it done. Very late now, and no carer yet? Ah, it’s the weekend, I forgot. Usually late Sat and Sun.

I took some photos, but the SD reader has gone on strike again, Humph!

Aha! This morning’s Carer was Sara! I was already cheered up with the disasters of this morning finishing; this gave me an extra boost in spirits, Sarah coming. A lovely gal likes a natter, and she is responsive. ☻♥ Got the medications sorted; Sarah always watches me take them if I drop any or one comes back up. She knows I’d likely not see or notice if they did, Bless her. I wish they all did that.

I said my farewells, and my mood lowered a smidgeon when she left, but it was still higher than for ages. I had considered going into a Smug-Mode with getting through the early morning cacophony of cock-ups… but resisted,

I’d better go on the WordPress Reader and comment section now.

How disappointing… Makes me sick!

.

Can’t get on WordPress Comments or save owt! I gave up and got some nosh made. Battered red potato fritters, tomatoes, veg burger and banana to follow. The cakes were too sweet for my taste, but I ate them all. Rated: 7.2/10.

My luck really is changing from this morning. Went to get the ablutions tended to; better late than never. Just one cut shaving, nowt serious, and few dropsies (razor x 2, toothbrush, loofah, and short-picker-upperer), but I had the short picker-upperer to hand. No knocks, dizziness, headbangs, toe-stubbing, Shaking-Shauns, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, or shoulder charging the door frame!

Got dressed so I looked reasonably sane for when the Carer called. (I’ve made a vow not to be naked. Topless or bottomless again, when a nurse or Carer arrives! I’ve been caught with no trousers on by Nicola and no top on by Valerie up to now – Tsk!) I can lock the door and strip off after whoever comes has gone.

I tried the computer again, and it let me load some photographs to my delight. But VDD (Vascular Dementia Doreen) is making it hard for me to recall the time when I took them, although some are obvious. I got them into CorelDraw to resize. And…

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chimed out, and in walked the evening Carer, Sarah (With an H). She soon sorted the medications, and I insisted she take a tipple and a nibble in; thanks to her. Which she did and took the waste bag out to the chute for me on her way

I locked the door and stripped off, feeling much easier now. Funny how all the cock-ups were got rid of in the early hours today; I’m pleased with that! Then got the photos; some I could remember were put on roughly chronologically. Others I’ll show here:

Rescued Photographs…

Obviously, I must have taken these two in the early hours, although I can’t remember taking them now?

VDD playing me up again. I suppose it is possible I got up during the night to take these? They cost me a lot of time tweaking to get them to be recognisable as what they are.

A mid-morning picture of the end car park on Chestnut Way, mayhaps, taken from the balcony, no doubt. I vaguely recall not being able to open the spring lock on the window and taking it through the glass pane.

I’m sure I had a paranoia moment with this one. I think I could see a face in the central cloud, but it seems to be hiding from me now. Such a shame. I could see a face and a monster in it on the right with this effort. At the time, I think another animal, but that too had been removed by VDD (Vascular Dementia Doreen). This last one of the trio on the left, which held several pairs of eyes and noses when I took it, still does, but somehow far fewer are found?

Ah, the expensive sweet potato battered fritters meal. I did eat it all. But the oversweetness of the potatoes took the edge off it. I already wrote about this, haven’t I? Humph!

Proof of my dedication to losing some fat from my midriff area. Where folds of fat, as it wobbles at the slightest movement. This on the left; was my last inside photograph taken today. It shows my bravely self-imposed limit; I’m allowing myself to nibble chocolate! With crumbs dropped from my nocturnal nibblings in the £300 second-hand, ageing, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working, recliner, cling in the channels of blubber.

No more supposedly well-intended, opening a bar of chocolate, working on the computer, thinking, “Ah, I’ll have another lump of that chocolate” – and finding it had all gone! No More – Never-Again! I have complete faith in my determination to lose weight from my substantively gross belly! Four pieces maximum from now on!

Sleep was stubborn and refused to allow me to nod off. Sweet Morpheus teased me as it got later, and would permit me to drift off, then minutes late startle into wakefulness with a jump! So, I got up and pottered about in the kitchen, taking photos of the changing evening view from the kitchenette window. I spotted some figures in clouds, particularly in the second photo. Not that I can see it now. Humph! Thanks, Doreen Dementia! The close up I took of the orange ribbon of light did not come out very well at all. But I’ve put it on anyway. To show the changing views on offer tonight. The last effort, about ten minutes after the one before, I did like it. Had more contrasting hues and colours, I thought. Back into the recliner, hoping to sleep…

But, Oh, No! Not a chance. So I looked at what was on the TV, and ‘Sudden Impact’, a Dirty Harry film with Clint Eastwood, was just starting. During the first set of commercials, I got some chip-sticks and a bottle of spring water to feast on, got back in the c1968 second-hand recliner, and settled to watch and enjoy the film. I love it when the goodies win! As the next set of adverts came on… Zzzz!

Inchcock’s Diary, with Memories and an Ode

What happened to Inchcock on this day, in 1953?

On his way home from the getting some cows heel and tripe for his Dad. As he was crossing the canal on the bridge on Wilford Street. A gang of teenage Herberts lifted him and unceremoniously threw him off the bridge into the canal! Being about six years of age, scared to death of water, and unable to swim (His fear was life-long, he still can’t). He struggled to grab hold of a barge rope hanging over the side of the boat but lost his grip, he got cold, and his fingers were not big enough to hold on… As he sank into the water, a pair of strong hands from a bloke in a rowing boat dragged him out and took him home. Where his father knocked the hell out of him for losing the tripe and cow heel, pointing out that the 2/6d (12.5p) cost would come out of his pocket money! Which baffled the lad a bit cause he never did get any pocket money from his Dad in his life?

SUNDAY 15th MAY 2022

05:15hrs, I begrudgingly woke and awaited the brain to join me. Which it did, with the message that I needed a wee-wee. I freed my cumbersomely large bellied body from the £300 second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable, unfit-for-use, not working recliner. NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) took me a while due to the vast amount of  PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

Dizzy Dennis kept going at me all morning long in short bursts. I got the waste bag sorted out and started prepping the veg to go in with Josies Chilli meal. Chopped leeks, carrots and peas.

Opened the can of Chilli and started adding the cooked vegetables. Put them in the saucepan and add squid vinegar (liquid salt), chilli powder, Worcester sauce, and malt vinegar. After testing the flavour, I can add gravy salts and tomato puree with basil.

Herbert is noisy again. Bloody Sundays and weekends, he’s always the same!

I visited the Porcelain Throne. A good job that the carer was so late because I must have been in the half-an-hour at least. Most of the time was spent cleaning and clearing up. Trotsky Terence was in charge again. You wouldn’t believe the amount of loo roll used! Tsk!

Got a good wash and showering done, I felt a bit better then. Coming out of the wet room, I got through the door, and by the fairer without a knock, shoulder slamming or toe stubbing.

A new carer came in without ringing the buzzer-chime, and of course, I didn’t hear her coming. Sarah, she’s not been before. Nice gal, but she didn’t take the waste bag with her, no problem. I can do that later with the next one to go. No problemo! Well, as long as Vascular Dementia Doreen lets me remember. Hehehe!

The photos went on through the card reader!!!! So I got the old ones on. Yesterday one here first. The state of the ankles as I came out from the shower yesterday. Not painful nor itchy, although they did later.

These on the right are what they looked like after this morning’s session at ablutioning. Not any different, really. Or are they, and Cataract Kathleen has missed something?

A morning photographicalisation from the kitchenette next. The bright sunshine on my face made it impossible to take a good one.

My evening, well, was the only meal of the day. Potato slices baked, tomatoes, crap tasting sugar snap peas. And gorgeous mushroom pate on a couple of baps. Taste Rating: 8.8/10!

These two were taken with a sort of foggy haze in the air. After seeing them, I thought they had a kind of gentle quality to them. That’s not what I mean, but as close to what I can explain. Peaceful, tranquil, they made me feel free from strife… of course, that didn’t last for long. But a good sensation while it lasted… I’m now awaiting the arrival of the next Whoopsiedangleplop. I pressed on with updating and posting the Saturday bog to WordPress. The Facebooking, WP Reader, and some WP comments are to read and reply to.

Herbert’s cacophony of banging, clanging and grinding noises continues.

A wee-wee, and back to the photos. I took this shot from the balcony. RVD (Red-Van-Man) is back, but the small red car has taken up his beloved parking spot on the yellow no-parking lines. Hahaha!

Time to start checking on and serving up Josie’s nosh now. On my way to the kitchen, ♫Oh, Susan♫ chimed out from the doorbell? Josie came to tell me that she was going out to a restaurant with her sister and didn’t need the meal! Well, blow me, fancy letting me know half an hour before I deliver the meal! But let’s face it, it’s much better than five minutes. Hehehe!

She said she could collect it tonight on her way home. So, I said I’ll put it in a big jar to let it cool, then you can place the container into your fridge; that’ll be two chillies to use later on. Josie added, “She’s (Her sister) has only just called me to let me know”.

Herbert just dropped something this time; it sounded heavy. I gave him a gentle tap on the piping with my walking stick. Not that it will do anything to help me get some peace. He is the most equanimous, unforthcoming, stand-offish person I’ve ever met. Superior Shithouse!

“Clunk, thud, ratattattatat!” That serves me right for getting annoyed. Then I kept getting scratching-like and knocking noises. I’m so sorry, Sir Herbert!

Two chilli meals in the container and some treats for Josie when she gets back from the meal with her Sister at the restaurant. I’ll get mine (meal) started now, then see if owt is on the TV cause the computer problems are driving me mad! (Of course, there are many other reasons, Haha!)

I put the potatoes and vegetarian burger in the oven, peas in the pan, chopped some mini tomatoes and got the TV on for half an hour while the burger and spuds baked. And put the TV on. To find the Ladies Cup Final was showing, and I got deeply into it, so interested that I forgot all about the cooking!

I fumbled out of the £300 second-hand, decrepit, c1968 recliner, got Walter the Wooden Walking Stick, and into the kitchenette. I nervously opened the oven door… The ‘bake for 30 minutes’ food had been in for nearly an hour!

The breadcrumbed veggie burger did not look appealing at all. It felt very hard. As expected, the potatoes were overdone; some of them, the smaller ones, were inedible and had to be thrown. Yet I ate all of it! Enjoyed it too! The burgers left in the fridge will get overcooked; it was firm and delicious! The spuds were tough to eat, and no doubt damaged a few of my remaining teeth, but it all tasted grand! Flavour Rating: 8/10! I hope Duodenal Donald and Harold’s Haemmorhoids can cope with it, and I get no toothache! Hahaha!

Cara Sara arrived, again not ringing the chime and giving me a shock when she entered the room. But a lovely surprise, she is tall, young, beautiful and charming. (Dang to old age! Har-har!)

Sweet Morpheus was again resistant to my requests for shut-eye! But, when he permitted me to nod off, I slept through without any jolting awakes for just under six hours! Great!

Friends Comments when I got shot (First-Time)

“Oh, yer?” An old schoolmate by the name of Elgin,
“Could ‘ave been anyone!” fellow security officer Kathryn,
“Tell me another!” My neighbour in Sherwood, Glyn,
“Shit!” I forget his name, Welsh lad from Abergynolwyn,
“Serves yer right!” The supervisor at control called Kelvin,
“Why?” An old passion of mine, a big gal named Roslyn,
“I wunt du yoor job!” Traffic Warden, called Edwin,
“Tommy rot, yer tit!” Richard, but we called him Dick Turpin,
“Will yer be off work?” Manager, we all called him Fagin!
From the hospital, they sent me back to the site again…
“Can yer drive yersen there, course you can!”… Fagin!
“You can’t claim off of us!” Site manager, on arriving…

Evening All!

Inchcock Today: Diary with Odeing

Brief Diary – with Boringly Long Ode…

One hell of a Messy Day!

Friday 13th May 2022

I reluctantly woke at 05:30hrs, and after a few minutes of determinate efforts to nod off again, the need for the Porcelain Throne arose, and I was cruelly forced to get up!

I made my way to the wet room, pleased with how I was getting about, balance-wise. But was not too keen on how the Porcelain Throne evacuation went. Trotsky Terence had a more significant say in things. Thus it was messy and a semi-splurting affair. Needing a lot of cleaning up doing after the event.

I decided to get a stand-up wash, teeth, medicationing and shave, etc. done as I was there. The shaving well, well, one… just one nick on the chin. (The teeth cleaning I forgot to do, I did it later when I remembered).

Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Arthur Itis knees, Colin Cramps’ hands and Little Inchies Fungal Lesion were all medicated. I got dressed, thinking the Carer may soon be here.

Turned on the computer…

Boy, was I pissed off? YES, I was! Grrr! The thoughts of Liberty-Gobal’s Mr Fries getting so much salary and bonuses, and he can’t get an internet signal to work in Nottingham…

DOWN AGAIN

I turned everything off, leaving it for ten or fifteen minutes. Unplugged the lot. Then restarted the hub and, five minutes later computer. Gave it longer to sort itself out and into the kitchenette Humph! Stubbing my toe on the way against the server trolley wheel.

This is not going to be as short a dairy as I planned. My EQ had spoken, “Be prepared for a messy day! So I did!

From the depths of despair, I rose into flabberghastedness! Not only did the internet start, but when I slipped in the SD card – it worked the first time!!! So I got these photos from yesterday loaded to put on here. I didn’t get too excited, though, after I found that some were refused as ‘wrong format’, which they are not; I levelled off my mental state down to ‘Ah, well, I knew summat else would knacker things up!’ mode.

The first two are from the Health Checks, and the results were not too bad either. I’ve had much worse this week.

Oh, dear, now I’ve had to stop. Frustration, self-derogatory tongue lashings and self-hating had to have a few minutes with me! I realised I’d already put these on yesterday’s blog. Of course, I should have been blaming Dementia Doreen! But having to live with her, I didn’t want to make her angry with me! Hehehe! Good job that I didn’t lose more time and recognised that I’d posted them. But definitely, positively, no Smug-Mode was deserved!

When I made a brew and took this photo while doing so. The morning weather was how I felt, a smidge down, dank and not too hopeful. Hey-Ho! Hello, another trip to the Porcelain Throne was indicated…

2 So, off for the second visit of the day. Trotsky Terence was in even more control this time. The liquidifation of things was more advanced, which meant less need and time for cleaning up my delicate areas on the plus side! I used the minus side, which saved time cleaning up the splashed and liquid ricochets.

I took a photograph of the Winwood Heights, Chestnut Way, end car park. I was most concerned not to see RVM (Red-Van-Mans’) van parked on the yellow chevrons. In fact, I could not see it anywhere. He’ll be out at an AA meeting, his probation officer or visiting his mates in prison, mayhaps? Hehehe! Only joking! He’ll be working somewhere.

I pressed on with updating yesterday’s blog. Eventually, getting it done and posted. When I went to get a drink of spring water, I realised that it was beyond 09:00hrs. And no Carer had called yet. I’ll give them a little longer; usually, someone rings if they will be late?

I’m getting fed up with this – Haha! 3: I moved on to Facebooking the blog, went on the TFZer and Winwood Heights pages, read, and replied to some comments. After about an hour… back to the throne. The evacuated product was of a similar nature to the last visit. The jets of liquid were far more powerful… thus messy and needed cleaning again.

I got the bags into the kitchenette, ready to sort them out. I made a start on this blog, it was slow going, Doreen, and the brain’s concentration made things difficult for me. Then, the intercom rang forth and flashed. It was the Amazon shopper delivering my order. He even brought up the flowers first so that the bunches didn’t get crushed. Then he brought the rest up. Bless him.

I go the flower treats put safely stored from crushing, firstly. Today, the treats are for Deana, Julie and Jenny. I rang Jenny to see which one she fancied. Jenny opted for the centre bouquet.

The pink one. At least, I think the first two are pink. They’ve gone now, and I can’t remember the names, Tsk! Oh, yes, I can, one of them, the left one, Chrysanthemums! Sad, innit? My being colour blind and not a new thing that isn’t.

Around 1963 I failed a medical for a job on British Rail as a goods train guard. I found out that I suffered from protanopia – basically, I cannot identify reds from other close colours, orange, maroon etc. Then a couple of years ago, they told me I now (then) had dichromatism, having trouble identifying primary reds, greens and blues. Now I’d acquired Saccades in the right eye and glaucoma and cataracts. See what I mean? Hahaha!

Oh, heckythump, was I waffling on there! Sorry. Back to the diary…

I got the frozen things away. Vegetable burgers, iced orange lollies, potato bakes, potato bites and potato croquettes. I was pretty pleased with how I conjured around the stuff in the freezer to make room for the new stuff.

Then the fridge products, not many today, I intend to use up some of the canned foods. (We’ll see?). Tomatoes, sugar snap peas, mushroom pates, veg sausages, strawberry & grape pots to treats, that’s about it. Ah, no, well, yer see… I suppose you do… Those fresh cream French Horns? I blame one of my sweethearts on the TFZer Facebook page; I have a few. She just loves fresh cream French Horns, and when I eat one, it reminds me of Janet.

Janet and me in the photo here… in a dream I had! ♥ I’m off waffling again!

Cans of Chilli-Con-Carne, pots of jelly & custard, potatoes, fries, vegetable stock, tomato puree with herbs, a lemon, five bananas, a bottle of orange cordial, and a can of chilli soup make up the rest of the the the items purchased.

I got the fodder all stored away (The cupboards and freezer are close to cram-packed now). Then back on the blogging for an hour or two. Suddenly it dawned on me… nearly midday, and no Carer had arrived? I called Warden and Ballerina Julie and or Warden and Desktop dancer Deana to tell them the flowers are ready for collecting; if they can manage it. Julie answered and said she would come up to see me. I can mention the Carer missing again when she comes.

After making the call, I began to fear that I may have made an error. I was confused, and Dementia Doreen was making me fret; someone had called? I checked on the Meridian call register but could not read it with my eyes… I feared that if I say owt, and it turns out they have already been… I’m going to be regarded as a plonker of the first order? I took some faith that I was shaking a lot more than usual. The last time they failed to show, I’d gone so long without the medications; I got the shakes when they arrived. And boy, was I beginning to shake now! Yes, I was!

Back to my blogging, this is taking far too long. Interruptions of various sorts, and now Herbert had kicked off with his tap-tapping. He didn’t go on for too long. Oh, I think he just dropped something metallic, then!

Warden & ballerina Julie came in. I asked her if she would please take the flowers for Jenny, as I was expecting a delivery and call from the hospital, and she kindly agreed. I mentioned that I don’t think a Carer has been, and she said I was shaking and shuddering. Julie checked the Meridian log and said no one had been. She would mention it to them when she got back to the office. I thanked her, and off she trotted.

It then dawned on me why I’d ordered so much stuff for the freezer. Last week Richard said he would sort the dates of everything in the fridge and freezer for me. I knew I had some meat products I did not want and hoped that Richard would take them off my hands. So there will be plenty of room to get today’s stuff in it. But Richard had another call, and the lad was knackered from his shift yesterday and could sort the freezer for me. Hope he feels better and gets a good break. I’ll miss the lad, but glad he’s got a holiday to recover from his exhaustion.

I started blogging again, and someone from Meridian called me on the landline. She said they were very sorry about this morning, and a Carer is on their way to me now. I said thank you. Shame it had to happen for the seventh time since I’ve been paying them to come. Obviously, Julie had told them for me. Hey-ho, and pickle my walnuts!

Carer Valerie came into the flat, and she got my medications given. She asked me what happened with the morning’s Carer. I said I’ve no idea. Valerie said about me shaking a bit. I thought it had stopped, but apparently not. There is constantly shaking of some sort with Peripheral Neuropathy, but it was more violent this time and uncontrollable now. Thanked Val, and off she trotted. Within half an hour of taking the medicines, I think the shaking was back to normal.

I’m struggling to get the blog updated now. The concentration has been destroyed by all the complications of the day. I took the comfort of some sort in knowing things should calm down now… Did I say that?…

I got a text message, “Feet today!” reminder came in: The foot lady at the hairdressing salon told me it’s my day to have the feet done! Argh! No time to get nowt done!

4 Then it really irritated me that I needed Porcelain Throne visit number four! Just when I didn’t need it, I’m not going to be popular for keeping them waiting when I get down to the salon… mind you, I don’t expect I was before. Hehe! The evacuation was more liquified this time, but it was over quickly.

So, I fumbled and bumbled about again, and I got myself down to the ground floor salon. The looks I was greeted with said, “Oh, here it is, about time too!” They got the feet tended to, not without the odd ‘Argh’ emitting from my lips. I paid the £25, not cheap for getting one’s toenails done, but some other options are dearer. It’s terrible enough forgetting things, but then I gave my toe a stubbing against the airer as I went to get a quick wash. She gave me an appointment card, and I gave out some cans of treats. Then hastened ASAP back to the flat, fearing I may have missed the hospital’s call… Ain’t life a git some days? Well, most in my case!

Tried to get the blogging update advanced, and Valerie (the whisperer) came in the room, apparently talking to me as I typed away on the blog. Of course, I couldn’t hear her. She was returning the laundry. Treated to a little pack of grapes and strawberries. Bless her.

I put the oven on and, got some chilli on the pan, added some spirit vinegar to it and some peas. I’ve been assured that the spirit vinegar will lessen the sharpness of the chilli. After adding the peas and getting the hob going, I took a nibble. And it works! Yee-Haa!

17:15hrs The Evening Carer arrived. The morning caller was 7 hours late, and the evening one was an hour early. They must be having problems. However, the evening medications are mostly Warfarin blood thinners, Lansoprozole for Duodenal Donald, Codeine & Paracetamol pain killer, Ramipril, Peptic Antacid, and Atorvastatin Cholesterol inhibitor. The Folfiri has been stopped for six months to assess. A shame that I missed having the nurse call every day. Hahaha!

Turned everything off and got the nosh sorted out. Vegetable chilli con carnie, with cubes of potatoes done in the oven. Nice and crispy!  I soaked it up with two of the wholemeal bread rolls.

Janet and my favourite fresh cream French horns were gobbled up after the meal. There was a smidgeon of guilt lingering though afterwards. Hehehe! A Taste and Flavour Rating of 9.3/10.

Washed the pots up and spotted the sun on its way down. Despite having a shaking bout at the time (again!), I managed to get two decent, just usable pictures of it.

I took three or four, but the others didn’t come out well. Although not as vivid as some, I thought these two represented a sort of sadness. Then again, nowadays, me not being convinced, confident, in or of something, is usual, the norm! I’m not sure why.

Got a wash, and I stripped off and got down into the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, musty, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner.

Then the Thought Storms launched into activity. Starting off with just how good my EQ was this morning with his forecast for the day!

This day’s events have made me even more confident in the validity of my EQ assessments and warnings. For once, I have indubitableness! I must, and will, never doubt EQ’s veridicality again.

But the self-despising, guilt, shame, failure, and bad judgments flowed through the Thought-Storms. It took ages for them to slow down enough to let me get off to sleep. Humph!

ODE TO THE DAY

My EQ warned me as soon as I woke up this Friday…
That day was going to be frustratingly messy!
There was undoubtedly no festivity but a lot of fetidity,
Leaving me with panicky mental fatiguability,
The unexpected, or forgot about, and incongruity,
Doreen Dementia, making things go recalcitrantly,
At times, I just accepted my increasing insanity…
And after so many mishaps, by own banality!

I lost hours getting the Liberty-Global net back on,
I hate things technical, electric, mobiles and silicon…
Turned all off and then back on…
Somehow got it going again, thereon…
Which cheered me up, but just a fraction,
For EQ’s warning, it was like a klaxon!

The carer was late; they’d forgotten about me,
Delayed medications (6-hours), causing psychoactivity,
And I got the shakes, and sweats, all involuntarily,
Took the belated tablets, and soon less shaky…happily!
Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Little Inchies lesion, bloodily…
Arthur Itis, Colin Cramps, and Peripheral Neuropathy…
Toe stubbing, painful Porcelain Throne evacuating…
Hopes for an improvement turned out to be delusorily!

Every happening seems to be unfair, conspiratorily…
With the pressure of not knowing, I shook more giddily,
I got more and more uptight, responding haughtily,
I was not coping with things, well I was… but badly,
Self-pity raised its head often, and depression, sadly
Five visits to the Throne, and, Oh, many a wee-wee!
I was faffling around, like Old Mother Riley,
Ways out and solutions were well beyond me…
I knew I was in for a long day… fiddle-dee-dee!

My thoughts and concentration, or lack of I say…
Were thataway, thereaway, thisaway, anyway…
Will this stampede of failure and confusion ever fade away?
I started to fret and worry over silly things, minutiae!
Unimportant, useless, unwanted confusing clamjamfry…
Will I ever recover common sense, memory or logicality?
Then a text message reminder was sent to me…
‘Feet Today’, Toe cutting, £25 more to throw away!

I’d forgotten about the feet, got down to the salon alreet,
Being late arriving, her greeting look was like a bleat…
Painfully had my toenails cut and oiled on both feet,
Gave them each can of plonk as a peacemaking treat
And back to the flat in a hasty retreat…
Where I made chilli, that was a pleasure to eat…
But sleep was resistant; that wasn’t so sweet!

Odes Scribed To Cause A Smile and-or Laugh – I fank you!

Inchcock Today: Diary with Odes

General Ode To The Day

Today, when good luck and success ran away,
Making me want to cry, die, and even pray!
It’s this horrendously-heinous Wednesday!
Very little humour, fun or flimflammery!

Problems of intense magnitude and stupidity…
Errors, Whoopsiedangleplops, and I got all forgettery…
Accifauxpas, mind-blanks, bonkerness and pettifoggery,
So much so my mind requires mental surgery!

I ended up nervous yet showing frustrated badassery!
The brain crumbled, the body tumbled…
Nothing this day was of the slightest bit ordinary,
Then the innards painfully rumbled…
My last bit of willpower crumbled!

Self-hatred, for myself, and a vile loathing…
So many failures, one in my underclothing!
But that, I’m too ashamed to be describing,
It had some occasions that were nice, touching…
But they were scarce, and so many were scathing!

Computers I should know would mock and beat me…
I thought I’d get the problem sorted, very foolishly!
I’d never have mended it if I tried until next January…
As I should have known, I just made things worse,
I sobbed, got depressed, and voiced many a curse…

I thought at one time, I was growing insanity…
Why am plagued by this unknown, unlucky entity?
It started at birth… and has grown nasty, by plenty!
In my previous life, was I a murderer, a scoundrel? Maybe…

When I’m burnt to ashes by the Brothers Baguley…
I want my mourners to know, there’s no need for sorrow,
At the moment, I’d be content, no, glad to go…
Life’s always been a battle against the flow…
I may miss cheesy potatoes, and bread, buttered sourdough,
Carers like Julia and Jilly both leave me with an afterglow. ♥

Not enough to make me stay here, though!
Life to me has been like at the Alamo…
Surrounded, outnumbered and nowhere to go,
Failings, errors, fretting, my life’s been so!
I’d hoped things would improve, but no, oh, no!

Reincarnation? That would be hard to swallow,
I might return as a soaring eagle or a brave buffalo?
Or most likely a stickleback, mousse or minnow!
See, that’s depression; I’m feeling so low…

And what’s to come later… death, maybe, yes or no,
I’ll continue as a failed saddo and fatso…
I’ll snuff-it, not bothered how maybe tomorrow?
I’ll die never having had a cup of cappuccino!
It’s been forty-odd years since I’ve been on a beano!
My friends and family will gather to say cheerio…
But there’s only three of them, so I don’t know…

They’ll search for my money, and they’ll be very thorough,
Cupboards, drawers, clothes and behind the big photo…
I don’t blame ’em; that’s how it will go…
I can’t take it with me… I don’t mean to crow…

That’s summat else, why did I live life in a constant imbroglio?
Calling things electrical, mechanical, complicated, a gizmo?
Cause the Vascular Dementia Doreen said so?
I had problems; I became an alcoholic, not wino…
Which at the time for me, was no problemo!

I danced like a three-legged drunken rhino…
The gal who said that was named Clio,
Ailments, being shot, being made redundant did follow…
Didn’t matter too much; life was already shallow…
But I’ve always been that way, uneducated and callow…

With quips and replies, I’ve been sharp, never slow,
I once nearly bought a second-hand Volvo…
What that’s got to go with this Ode, I don’t know?
I’m trying to live an inoffensive life, but whereunto?
I’ve lost the plot now. Shall I make a cuppa? Righteo!

It took me that long to formulate this Ode, so many errors, mistakes, and Mind-Blanks! The time is running out for me to get the Diary bit done. So, it will be in condensed form, sorry!

———————————————————————-

WEDNESDAY 23rd FEBRUARY 2022

A great sleep once I managed to get off. Which was at about 02:00hrs. But, I was well pleased with only jump-waking up three times. On the third, it was already 06:10hrs! So, over four hours, not bad, that. I think the Hemp seems to be working.

As I fought my way out of the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner, two things dawned on me. This morning is the Ocado food delivery twixt 6-7:00hrs, and Cartilage Cathy was still as bad as yesterday. So, I took a Codeine and checked that I had not missed any calls on the intercom – I feared I would not have heard it if he had come early while I was sleeping. No missed calls on the list, so that cheered me a little.

I got the medical checks sorted straight away. The body temperature was still too low. But what should I do? It might be the machine? They tell me to ring 999 if it is below 45°c? But it’s not far off this time.

There was no hassle about the Blood Pressure, though, all looking pretty good, with SIA 152. DIA 74. and Pulse at 80. This seemed fair to me. Glad the BP machine was working after my dropping it yesterday.

Into the kitchenette to put the kettle on, and I trod on something small and challenging – I guessed right, it was an escaped garden pea gone rock hard. Hehe! Made me jump a bit! I also found a tablet?

The intercom rang at 06:30hrs, and the Ocado driver brought the bags up to the flat. Nice chap.

Got the bags into the kitchen; there seemed a lot of them today?

Sorted out what’s what and where they are to go. The frozen Heinz Beanz Burgers went in the freezer, along with the battered cod bites and fishcakes with mushy peas in them. Natoora black tomatoes, yellow tomatoes, steak pie into the fridge, with some difficulty… Cartilage Cathy was in a right rotten mood with me when I bent to get the bottom tray filled. Cor, blimey, was she! But the bending to pick up the peas and pill might have contributed to Cartilage Cathy’s annoyance. Hehe!

Then I moved on to the third or fourth bag. The black box held 12 mini-pots of M&S fruit and jelly. Which I read when ordering to be strawberry flavoured. They had actual fruit in the jelly, but one of them was the forbidden for me pineapples. On a closer look, they also had seeds in them, which will most likely cause me a toothache. They’ll have to go! I know how to live! I made a bottle of spring water up with some of the lemon and lime cordial for later.

I got some fresh garden peas and lemon and lime yoghourts too. Two favourites there!

Just after getting them stored away and returning to the computer, Everything went wrong computer-wise. The icons had shrunk, the screen had gone darker, and Norton came up[ with things that needed attention. Crapwranglers! It was all too much for me, and I ended up changing things, uncertain if I was doing right or wrong. After changing things, it was far worse. I could have cried!

I stopped making changes too late and could not work out how to correct things. I went for a break and made a brew of Glengettie, taking this photograph of the morning view, in which I caught some crows on their way to a tree-top murder in the park. Then around 08:15hrs, the landline rang out. It was the gorgeous Nurse Hristina to tell me she was coming in the morning to do a Warfarin blood test, and I’ll be back on the Enoxaparin injections.

Then it rang again, it was Nicola from Meridian, Carer Richard who was sue to do me and stay with a poorly patient. They have arranged for Carer Julie to come and do me, she’ll be here as soon as possible. Bless her! Thanked her for letting me know.

Doing the updating of the blog for yesterday and got deeper into a mess of confusion with the computer for an hour or so, and the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang out.

Julie got the medications sorted; she had been called in to cover. She was as sweet as ever and helped me with the computer. ♥

After Carer Julie had left, Norton flashed up again. I’d no idea what was what. Humph! Now I cannot access my dropbox or save anything to it!!! The pointer keeps changing size? Oh dearie me! I may have changed something when I had a Norton defrag? I just can’t remember what I changed…

MedPhorpainI carried on with this blog. The top Ode taking me yonks to get done. I gave Cartilage Cathy another good rubbing with the Phorpain again. This is the second day of Cathy’s hassle. Never had two days’ worth before.

I stopped computing on the blog to take a look at the food situation and catch up on what, if anything else, is due. I think I’ve ordered a Sainsbury’s order for next Sunday, but Dementia Doreen is determined; I’ll not remember. I’ll check the calendar first. I must get the ablutions done soon.

Yes, JS on Sunday. I’ll do an Iceland one for midweek. All done!

Now back on with this blog.

17:15hrs Ode

The day stopped, as frustration grew, abysmally,
But memories remained of this morning’s jollity.
Although it was just for microscopical scintillae…
I felt my depression wanting to go away…
But would it? Well, maybe one day it may…

Yet I no longer felt the self-hatred, not acidulously,
The evening Carer should soon be coming to see me…
Will they be contented, happy? Or rather grumpy?
Or a chinwagger? Who entertains me wryly?
I hope no one considers a natter avoidably!

Hopefully, one that looks after me, assiduously,
Who doesn’t mind a laugh and is not over assertively…
Carers who really care, I greet applaudingly…
And consider them to be admiringly adorably,
Like Jillie and Julie, compassionate, addictively!

I’ve got the oven on to heat up, to do the chips later, fresh garden peas and a pastie methinks tonight. But I must try not to make too much this time. Ah, it’s 18:00 now; the approx. ETA is twixt 18:00>19:00hrs for the evening carers.

I made a brew and took some photographs of the evening sun setting. Computed a little, took the mug to be washed, and took three more pictures. The ones on the left earlier ones, the right the later ones, but only by about 15 minutes. Mother Nature – absolutely Bootiful!

1848hrs: Carer Kiya came into the room. Having failed again to use the door chime… three times now. I had to ask her again, explaining that I could have been using the grey bucket… It made little difference. But she’s a confident little thing and witty with it. She let us chat for a couple of minutes, chose her nibbles and drink, took the waste bags with her without me asking, of off she went, happily.

I managed to encourage the picture ap to recognise the photo of the end car park at last. I took it this morning around 08:00hrs or thereabouts. Only just got it on the computer. I’m having all sorts of problems with it now –  a case of last legs, methinks? (Me too, Haha!)

No red van, man. Well, he might be in court; you never know. Har-har! Plenty of vehicles compared to normal in there this morning.

Got the chips in the oven, then changed my mind and pulled them straight out again. (I know, I know!) I realised just how late it was now, and I still had to finish this blog. Otherwise, they’d have been cooked to a frazzled by the time I got the blog completed, posted, the Facebooking catch-up done, and photo albums updated. Then I’ve the WordPress Reader reading and commentating to do. The read and answer to the blog comments… Good heavens, I’d better get on with it!…

TTFN.

Ode to Maintaining One’s Sanity – Part Four or summat

In an odd mood this morning, folks, sorry, The early morning perkiness indicates me; Has done a bunk, I fear! Grugglebogness! Worries over the increase in carer fees, but my stepdaughter Jill (not really, but she ought to adopt me!), is helping me out again and investigating why I have been told I will be paying it from last Monday, but no one has told me how much it will be? I fret so easily nowadays. Hehe!

There was a time long ago, I w fascinated by Dennis Wheatley,
His character, Gregory Sallust, I thought was top quality,
Cunning, dedicated, loyal, brave with great chivalry,
I’d get back from the local hostelry,
After drinking and revelry…
Fall up or down the stairs accidentally,
Badly affected, alcoholically.

Working and drinking made my entire constellation,
For years, there was no guilt, and no contrition,
Boozing gave me a social connection…
I enjoyed it, beer and me had a cohabitation,
My taxes paid, drinking gave me no consternation!

Then one day, suddenly I decided out of the blue,
To stop my drinking ale, swearing never again to do!
The hardest thing I’d ever done, I can tell you!
I’ll not go into my suffering hullabaloo,
Never since have I drank plonk or used a corkscrew!

Now, so many years later, life is barren…
Of so-called friends, all abandoned me again,
Now I am an aged, sickly doyen…
Miserable, grumpy, but clean-shaven,
Clean-shaven? Why was that written?
I always wanted to be a Tibicen,
A flutist, but that’s probably not relevant,
I’m wandering here a bit, having a vent,

Not a vent… Erm… having a mental orbit!
Feeling a bit of a twit,
Misspellings lost words, things miswriting…
I’m losing it again, Gawdamit!

My confidence is getting titchier,
My mood is definitely schmaltzier,
My trips to the Throne frequenter
My Gawd, that’s four times this morning…
What is happening?
Each visit gets messier!
Stomach aching and is paunchier!
The passing of wind is getting noisier,
Evacuated product is meatier!
Every frequent wee-wee grows oozier!
It’s a good job that I’m no longer boozier!

It’s the memory that confuses me most,
I try, and I’ve not yet given up the ghost,
The brain nowadays is a far outpost…
Gives me access once or twice daily, at most!
But still, I remain chatty and verbose…
Seeking peace and inner glasnost,
And the ability to do my blogpost!

The Carers come twice a day; most are congenial,
Show patience, as I get confused, me being demential,
Some take my rubbish to the bin, others are contractual,
The good ones outweigh the not so good; it’s factual!
I usually get the shakes and a wobble…
Some chinwag, they go to that trouble,
This leaves me in a contentment bubble!

I like to think that I am still trainable,
But memory loss is always unavoidable,
Although, day to day it can be changeable,
That’s when I can get feeling unamiable…
And, I believe there is only me blameable,
Guilt can make contentment unavailable,
Thinking at times that I should be throttleable,
Then a kind act is given, and I get the unattainable,
And life is temporarily less circumscriptible,
Then no longer think I’m gullible or sulliable!

Some mornings I seem to transmogrify…
One leg fluid-filled, ‘tother thin, don’t know why?
Then there is Saccade Sandra, in my right eye,
My spectacles, the optician has to rectify,
He’s a snotty bloke, but at least I know why…
Last time I visited their pig-sty,
I warned the Lady of Peripheral Neuropathy, why?
Cause I’d had it bad, arm and leg shaking, me oh my!
The arm shot out, making her test lenses fly…
Her stare said she wanted me to painfully die!
The ladies hatred, I could not nullify!
So, going there again could make me cry!

This mornings carer, not ringing the bell, an oversight?
No, she never does; I didn’t hear her, her voice is light,
Crept up behind me, didn’t half give me a flipping fright!
Did she say good morning? Well, she well might…
But I didn’t hear her in the dark light.

“Sit down!” she suddenly boomed out,
Sticking her finger out towards the chair,
I took the medications, with trepidation about…
But I didn’t sit in the chair, to be fair…
I thought she wanted to give me a clout!
I chatted about it being so dark,
She was not ready for chin-waggings remarks,
Yet departed, happy as a lark?

Depression began to activate…
I found it hard to concentrate,
The Porcelain Throne was again much used,
Messy, tacky, splashes and floused…
The Throne today is much overused!
At last, it was done and cleaned. I did vacate…
Leaving the hot tap running, I did not appreciate!
No chance of a shave and shower now, mate!
I was disoriented, irritable, not focused,
In a massive fed-upperdness, I was circumfused,
I need to get myself refocused
Sod-it! Back to the Porcelain Throne, I had to navigate!

This below is the wet room, which contains the much overused Porcelain Throne. Today, I discovered that it includes 242 wall tiles, 54 cracks in the floor, and 78 on the ceiling. Which also has 14 lumps and a damp patch. The cross wording did not go well; two clues were solved in a total time on the book of three hours.

The most used room of the day!

Part of the Inchcock’s Make ‘Em Laugh Series

Impavid Inchy – Friday 12th March 2021 – Diary

Classy TFZer Gentlemen!

“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”


INCHCOCK TODAY

Friday 12th March 2021

ITALIANO: Venerdì 12 Marzo 2021

23:25hrs: Horrible ever waking sleep last night. I was in the recliner for about five hours, though, but most of it spent waking up, thoughtless and vague-minded, and waiting to nod-off again! Grubblebleackers!

I got freed from the recliner, caught my balance quickly (Cartilage Cathy was so kind to me this morning, Yee-Ya!) By gum, it was cold in the flat. I wobbled into the kitchen and got the kettle on. Washed last night’s dishes and things and made a brew of Glengettie tea.

Then did the Health Checks. Pleased to see the SYS at 147, DIA 67 and PULSE down nicely to 83bpm. I didn’t adopt any Smug-Mode yet, mind.

I got the contactless thermometer out and was also satisfied with the resulting figure that it produced. 36.6°c – 97.88°f.

I took last night’s missed dosages of medications. (Fool!)

Got the computer on, and much to my surprise, Microsoft allowed me access to Excel and the HC logs to update. (Weich they denied me for all day yesterday – well, each time I tried, it was updating!

I’d let the tea go cold, so I made a Thompsons Punjana and then checked out the wall heaters that were not producing any heat at all! It was bloody cold in the flat, I can tell yers! Methinks I have problems with them!

I started to update the Thursday Diary. Got it finished, despite SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley doing her best to have the right arm torn-off at the glenohumeral joint! Hehehe! Vicious she was, for about an hour solid. That’s never happened before. Not for that long a period. Still, she eased off later. Painfully and persistently, I completed the task, and I posted some snaps to Pinterest.

Then, sent the Diary off to WordPress, emailed the link, and went on Facebooking catch-up. I discovered it was another lovely, loveable TFZer ladies Birthday, so I made a graphic and sent it off to her. Note I’ve lost so much weight… Hehehe! ♥

Made some comments on WordPress. I visited the WP Reader section, then the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived. Off to the wet-room, I hobbled. (Not so bad actually, Cartilage Cathy is still pleased with me and being gentle too!)

What a mess! Loose, yet gooey with it, short-lived, not a lot of it evacuated, and yet the gluey semi-liquid dollop just would not go away! Several refills of the tank by hand from the sink where needed, and five or six flushes! A jolly good job I had toilet paper spares, well that’s what they were, now more will be required, judging by the whole roll needed to clean things up.  Flibblegonkackles!

Apart from so many dropsies thanks to SSS, the stand-up session was only worthy of one mention with a difference. That was after nasal cleaning, teeth cleaning, shaving, bathing, and medicating…

Getting the socks on! It was even funny at the time! I forced the right leg up a little, wedged my bum on the door corner, got the sock part way on, and lost my grip (I do a lot of that!). The cotton sock shot off, hit the back of the closet box, and plonked down into the WC water! I tried to replicate what I would have been doing and made a photo of it afterwards. Another pair of socks were utilised. The legs seem to be retaining fluid again?

The Iceland Foods delivery is due twixt 06:00 > 08:00hrs, but I’d got the ablutions sorted early enough to do the hand-washing in the kitchen sink sorted. All done, wrung, and hung above the sink on hangers. The Lily and Yang Yang scent in the Surf soap powder has a delightful smell.

I took a Canan camera photo of the morning view as I put the kettle on and made a mug of Glengettie brew.

I checked the heater in the kitchen, and it was warm now; I turned it up somewhat, as the weather forecast is so gloomy for the next 24-hours.

I took a shot of Chestnut Walk and the car park on it.

Time getting close now for the food to arrive. After it does and I get it stored away, I’ll see how supplies look and if another Sainsbury order might be a good idea, depends on what slots are available. Sometimes it’s a long wait to get one.

I did some updating on this post and then made another brew, Thompsons Punjana, this time. No time to drink it, the intercom rangeth and flashed, it was the Iceland Food delivery arriving, I pressed the entry button and awaited his arrival.

The Iceland man dropped the begs… begs? Yet another cock-up wiv me grammar, Tsk!), bags I meant, through the doorway for me. Slipped him a choice of cans of plonk, and off he trotted on his mission to feed the nation!

I took the carriers through to the kitchen and went on the internet to see if anything was short delivered or substituted.

Does yer know, there wasn’t a single substitution, and nothing short delivered… Even more surprising, there was nothing found to be short-dated either, as well, besides! Iceland outdid themselves with this delivery, a definite, very welcome first!

I was well pleased, but of course, I’d not checked for any damaged, crushed or leaking goods yet, so I resisted going into a Smug-Mode for the time being.

I set about putting the frozen stuff away first. As you can see in the photograph here on the right, it was all healthy living stuff. Well, I forgot to get the chips. Hahaha! Still a kid at heart, I am!

Next, I put away the fridge items, far better foodstuffs. Topside beef slices, pork & Pickle mini pork pies, sweet chilli chicken, chicken thighs, potato salad, egg-mayonnaise, and some strawberry and whipped cream desserts. Now I’ve put the spell checker on; the previous sentence had eight mistakes on it! Ahem! Got the other stuff in the bathroom and cupboards.

The YourArea magazine arrived, so I investigated. The lottery winner had been sentenced for his appallingly dangerous driving in which he killed a 75-year-old lady in the car he’d drifted across the road, and his BMW then crashed head-on into an oncoming Ford Fiesta.

I say sentenced; he got away with a 16-week suspended sentence and a one-year driving ban! For a £45 million lottery winner, that’s really going to bother him, innit! And the poor husband has lost his wife through Topham’s ignorance of the law and lack of concentration in driving, and I believe still in the hospital.

The now 31-year old Topham said in court: “I honestly don’t believe I thought about what I was about to do,” he said. “If I could take it back, I would, but I can’t.” (Me, me, me!) Huh! Generalfeldmarschall Friedrich Paulus said that after Stalingrad, will have to find money from his £45m for taxies? Some sodding deterrent that was! Was the jury back-handed? Just asking! I bet he the had best expensive lawyers!

At least I found some goodish news on the Covid-19 figures locally.

I decided to get some late brekkers.

I called Warden Deana on the phone, got a recorded message.

Phone the Doctors Surgery, got a recorded message.

I went to make a brew of Glengettie, and I took a tumble as I bent down to check the heat not coming from the radiator. Clouted the head on the ledge on the way down, and SSS started to play up as I struggled back up onto my feet with the help of the stove.

Made the tea and had a sit-down. I’m not sure what happened then, but I assume I fell asleep cause it was hours later when I seemed to wake-up, head pounding. I took a Codeine 60g. I didn’t feel poorly, just confused.

Did some updating of this post, but concentration was not coming to me easily. 

It’s still a bit of a blur. No notes on the pad had been added, so I assume I’d nodded off again cause I woke up in the recliner. Feeling peckish, I made a meal of sorts made up. Didn’t enjoy it much, but I’ve had worse, though. A taste rating of 6/10 was given.

I had a surreal few hours then.

In the morning, I found these photographs of the TV screen on the SD card?

Yes, it beats me why, as well!

After perusing the pictures, I assumed that I’d been watching, or falling asleep to and waking, Law & Order, Tales of the unexpected, many adverts and commercials, and possibly even a Nightmare Kitchen episode?

All I can remember for definite is that I was having difficulty in getting to sleep. I did keep nodding off, I think, but the nods only lasted a few seconds each time?

I noticed it was 19:00hrs on the clock, then went into a Thought Storming period.

A bad one, guilt, despair, mistakes, isolation, depression and fear all played a part. These went on for ages, with some emotional events from the past repeating!

I was fighting with my memory for some unknown reason, and I became self-loathing in the process.

I was pointless concerning myself with banal questions and seeking positive answers; Had I been to the Porcelain Throne today? What to do about the ear-ache? I must get a Sainsbury order done tomorrow, etc., on and on the silliness of life came at me, sadly, along with the regular guilt, shame and embarrassment. I really did feel so; what’s the word I’m looking for… lambasting and self-chastising. Oh, that’s two words!

I did eventually nod-off, and when I woke up, I wondered if my memory had been warped as I recalled how I’d felt, but the sense of doom and gloom was no longer lingering?

Isn’t life funny at times?

Little-Inchcy, Wednesday 10th March 2021 Diary

♥ By gum, some folks live well – Can I come, please? ♥

Someone should pay for this disaster,

Take the Blame! But no, they’ve got away with it!


INCHCOCK TODAY

Wednesday 10th March 2021

Welsh: Dydd Mercher 10fed Mawrth 2021

23:20hrs: I woke with a bit of start, and as I began to free my overly-stomached torso from the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner, a few thought came at the same time to me. First, Cartilage Cathy’s pain was as bad as yesterday, then the lack of noise from the ‘Hum’ permeated through to me. But I could hear the machinery noises from, presumably from the rooftop plant room!

As I got up on my feet to catch my balance, Cartilage Cathy gave a nervous-making wobble and had me holding onto the chair, then a realisation dawned… “There were no gurgling and rumblings from the innards” Amazing! It seems that the Numark Instant Diarrhorea tablets from Amazon that I took last night had worked miracles… I had to curb my enthusiasm, though. With my luck, you never know what disaster, embarrassment, Accifauxpa or Whoopsiedangleplop lay ahead! However, I could not resist going into a Semi-Smug-Mode, all the same. I awaited the arrival of the Throne visit with a certain trepidation.

I got the computer on, checked the Pill-boxes from Amazon Tracker. Then realised I’d made a cock-up with it. (Yes, I know it must be difficult for you to understand a young man, of my alertness, education, attentiveness, sharp-wittedness, and diligent meticulousness can get things so wrong! Gesuntight! I’d ordered two and needed four to cover for the monthly prescriptions! What a plonka! So, I ordered two more. The first two are expected today, the next on Thursday. Had a wee-wee.

I make a brew of Thomsons Punjana tea. Neuropathy Pete was giving the right side of me a decent shaking every time I walked or stood up. SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley joined in occasionally.

I got the Health Checks done then. The temperature was a little high again at 37.6°c – 99.7°f. However, I was well-pleased with the BP results this morning. SYS down to 148, DIA at only 74, and the PULSE a decent 83. Had a wee-wee.

I updated the BP log in Excel. Yes, Microsoft, let me gain access to the programme again today! They seem to be improving – no, I shouldn’t have said that, knowing how often the damned thing goes down! A bit of pushing my luck there. When will I ever learn? Hahaha! I took the morning medications.

I made a start on the much longer to do than yesterday updating for the Tuesday Diary. This was because of the Matron’s visit and late deliveries of the tablets. Which needed uploading and sorting before going in the post.  I did get it finished in the end, and I Pinterested some snaps. Then had a look at the Emails as I sent the link off.

Sister Jane had sent a photograph of their last cat still with us, Alberto!

He had had his picture printed in the West Bridgford newspaper! Fame at last! It was apparently used as a header for an article about Fun Pet Facts!

I made sure I’d updated and posted the Tuesday blog. Emailed the link. Had a wee-wee.

Went on the WordPress Reader section. Not much on it today, but what there were, was excellent. I passed some comments on many of them.

I hobbled into the kitchen and got some leeks prepped; it took me a while. Really mud-covered inside the leaves today. Sliced them and put them in the crock-pot, seasoned with a couple of vegetarian Oxo cubes added as a flavouring. I’ll put the heat on later, but meantime, they can be marinating. Nothing, like a good marinationing! Hahaha! Had a wee-wee.

There were no signs of any need for the Porcelain Throne yet. I’m hoping things will not have gone back in favour of Constipation Konrad?

I made a  brew of Glengettie tea, and then I got on with starting this blog going. It was a slow job, not through any ailments particularly, just a sudden loss of concentration for some unknown reason. After a few hours,

I checked on the email from Sainsbury’s to make sure about the ETA for the delivery. Well, they don’t like it when I opt for no substitutes, do they! The bread is going to be short dated now! They always win in the end. Swine! And they have cream doughnuts either!

I had a look at today Amazon tracker for the pill pods. Oh, dearie, me! This one is going to be arriving so late in the day again.

According to the tracker, it isn’t even out for delivery yet; that’ll ruin my sleeping pattern for sure! And then again tomorrow when the others arrive?

I feel down a bit now. Staying up late creases me up! But on the bright side… Nope, there isn’t a bright side or silver lining to this problem! Cragknackles! I’d better get the ablutions done quickly, ready for the food order! The session was a rushed one, as I kept dropping stuff too often, for Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters were playing me up something awful. I didn’t bother fighting to get any socks and went barefoot; well, I had my slippers on.

I’d not long been out, sorting out the black bags and getting them into the box on the walker. But I dare not go out to take them to waste chute and risk missing any of the deliveries that are due today.

When the intercom sounded, and the Sainsbury deliveryman arrived. He put the items in the box and bag, waited for me to check the short date on the milk roll (sell by 11th March, Tsk), but it felt soft enough) I thanked the lad, and he refused a can of vodka in thanks and shot off!

Now, the next twenty-five minutes were spent unloading and taking pictures of all the delivered food. I thought of witty quips to put on each one; eight photographs were taken with the Kodak – Taking the ninth and last one, the Kodak bleeped! Puzzled, I investigated, but the screen had cleared by the time I got to view it? I put everything away and went on the balcony to get some good shots of the view. I took what I thought were some cracking ones… then the Kodak bleeped again…

It was telling me that the camera storage was full! I had failed to put the SD card in! And I have no idea how to get the camera to let me use the memory? I think I am losing it in realtime now!

I was fervidly angry, indeed infuriated with myself! I swore at myself openly, questioning my own parentage! What a moron! All that time and effort for nothing! 

Angry and cursing, I went out onto the balcony to retake a couple of photos. I took two, then dived back inside and shut the window, as the rain saw me a sent down a torrent to try and drown me. I took two shots through the glass. And people wonder why I’m neurotic, distraught, twitchy, nervous, apprehensive, unconfident, and jittery? This is one example of why, a proven born loser-addicted, and well-acquainted with failure! Ha-ha! Now I was getting miffed, riled and hacked-off with things! Still, never-mind, eh!

French Horns

Naughty, but nice!

Trying to work out how to get the camera and computer linked together was another total failure, but that’s alright – I’m used to it. : However, I did find out how to turn on the Micro-mode on the Kodak camera. Yahoo! I decided my first effort in Macro mode photography would be the packet of Fresh Cream French Horns! Unfortunately, it took me eight attempts to get this one taken; all the others were over-smudged?

The Smug-Mode was destroyed when I couldn’t remember how to turn off the Macro-Mode, and finding how I’d got it on in the first place was now beyond my capabilities! Sad, innit? I’ll have to try again later and use the Canon camera again. The Kodak Pixpro AX 651 is just too confusing for this old-fart to master using.

Working on the diary, and I heard the voice of Desk-Top Dancer, ILC, Warden Deana, as she came into the flat. Lovely to see her again. She’s come to do a wristlet alarm check. But we lost contact with Nottingham City Homes (Monitoring) Control room. She tried again, and someone spoke with Deana, I couldn’t decipher or hear properly what was said, but they were having problems, I think. Said she’d have to try again later. I told Deana I’d make an alarm call later on. We chatted for a few minutes, and I had a laugh. Mostly me, moaning about the Astra-Seneka after-effects and not being able to contact the Doctor about it. She had to shoot off on her rounds, which left me somewhat down in spirits. Poor old twit!

AntiD I must say, the Numark anti-diarrhorea tablets seem to have done their job. I’m very impressed. No signs of any needs of the Porcelain Throne, all day long, yet! I just pray that things don’t turn into Constipation Konrad mode! Trotsky Terence is not showing any of his (usual for the last two weeks) bubbling, brewing and gurglings at all.

I checked on the Amazon Tracker and was pleased to see the van was only three stops away from the flats. So, I took the waste bags to the chute and a bag of recyclables down to Roberts’ (Caretaker) bin. In time to catch the van arriving and saving him/her the bother of coming up to the flat.

I was going to take the camera with me to take some outside shots but managed to forget to take it with me, the same as I forgot the keys with the fob on to get back inside the flats and take the mobile phone with me. Well, I might as well just forget everything, that’d be good, cause I wouldn’t know if I had or not? Hehe!

I had a minute or so natter with Robert. And got back inside when he went into the lobby.

Minutes later, the driver arrived, she had eight small parcels in her arms, and I asked if any was for number 72. She handed me the package, and I hobbled, hassled by Cathy’s Cartilage back up to the flat.

I opened the box, and the pill-pods looked suitable if a little on the small side. Now I have to go through all this again tomorrow when the next two arrive. Then I can be ready to use these next month when the prescriptions arrive and make things a little more orderly in the medication stakes.

French Horns I got the nosh sorted out, making sure that the strawberry jam & fresh cream French Horns were not missed off of the tray. Hehe! Of course, I only eat them because of medical conditions. Or should that be mental conditions? Ahem!

The short-dated milk roll bread from Sainsbury’s wasn’t eaten; it was too dry for my tastes. Serves me right for accepting it! But all else was! The tomatoes were a bit bland. The Chilli-chicken was okay. The peas and leeks went down well! The Iceland canned potatoes were a good advert for cardboard-flavoured foods! Taste-Rating: 6/10.

The metabolism was satisfied with this meal, though. I got the things washed-up and settled down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner, to watch some TV, somewhat later than usual with having to stay up for the delivery. But Sweet Morpheus was welcoming for once. I drifted off for five uninterrupted, dream-free hours of bliss! Bodacious!