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It had to happen, I suppose, but I woke up. In the state of mind & body as described above – feeling crap! Uninterested in even trying to sort out the state my mind was in. The overriding guilt 
within. The… Oh, I said all this above. I’m sorry about that. A little more urine in my nocturnal pouch this morning, and still a bit dark in colour with signs of blood in it. But it didn’t bother me at that moment; What did get to me was the message of gloom from my EQ. Things would not go right today. (As if I didn’t know this already! It’s the same every day here in the slammer for me. Even what should have been a joyful event the other day, in getting an appointment with the opticians, just had to have ifs, buts, maybes and uncertainties about it. Not to mention that it’s costing me nearly £100 for them to just come to the flat. How much is needed for eye testing is a secret as of yet. And the date was a fortnight later. A protem time and date were given to Carer Kara.
I slowly rose from the world’s most uncomfortable bed, trod on the torch I must have knocked off the side table, and cursed mildly. This was followed by a realisation that a depression was brewing, and I tried to fight it off, all the same. Seeing the red bits in the sky, I fetched Kodak Tim to take some blotched pictures of the morning view. Had I not felt so low, I would have stood a while talking to the clouds… Yes, I talk to them and the trees, you know. Well, it’s a bit of 
company for me. But not this time, for the gurgling from within and the wind from the rear end was getting out, so 
and me wobbled along to the wet room. As I sat there, many of the usual ailments that didn’t seem too bad yesterday kicked off. Curiously, for only the second time ever, as I washed my body after the evacuation, I felt the dum-dumming of the mechanical Aorta valve beating away. At least It confirmed that I was alive, but I didn’t get too excited about it.
I made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana. And got the computer going. And I instantly cheered up. (Not for long, of course, but there you are!) The eyes were far improved on their condition last night. Why remains a mystery. So, I committed myself to finishing yesterday’s blog before the sight faded. It was a great time for an hour or two, and happiness almost thought about the possibility of breaking out. Silly, I know!
Carer Maryham arrived. I stopped computing, and she put on the diabetic sock for me. She handed me the medications, remembering to give me the Vit K one. Maryham had to dash off; she was busy this Friday morning.
I forgot about the blogging, so I sorted the waste bin bags into one and took them to the front door for collection.
I got the camera and took another sky view photograph. Blotches included, of course. The sun is having a job getting through again this morning. I could hardly believe it was July, with things being so cold and dark. Brrr! In fact, I was sneezing a bit.
Back to the computer… it had to happen; it always does, every day. 
!
I was loading the snaps for Blotchy Kodak Tim, and the machine would not let me import the SD card content for some unknown reason. The feeling of doom and gloom returned just as Carer Joanne came in. She identified my frame of mind immediately and asked what the matter was. I think she regretted it because I told her. Hahaha! I kept her waiting a few minutes while I tried and failed to get the photos. Last night, as I closed it, I updated the MS on the computer. Mmm?
Carer Christopher arrived. As he was sorting the medications, my super-new, old Nokia
The phone went berserk with text messages coming in. After three, I got a recorded voicemail. They were all supposedly from Lloyds Bank. Chris listened to the recorded message and said it was a scam. These were followed by four more messages. I think they were all the same ones repeated, but not confident as I cannot see well enough to read them now that my eyes are failing again. I could not hear the recorded messages, but Chris confirmed after taking the mobile phone that they claimed to be from Lloyds Bank. Chris said the texts gave me a passcode to log on to my Lloyds account, which I do not have. But I panicked a bit. I wanted to delete them. I asked if Kara was in today, if she had not gone home yet, and if she might take a look at them. So, I didn’t delete them yet. There was a telephone number to ring for assistance. But I was wary enough to ignore it. Obviously, my finance helper Kara was not available. So, I’m in a state and a bit of a pickle. What next! I thought back to this morning’s awakening thoughts from my EQ. He was right again!
Getting murky early tonight.
Well, packing up, as the eyes seem to insist. But a little later on in the day today, which gives signs of hope, methinks.
Going to get some nosh. Back in the morning… I hope.
TTFNski…
I’M BACK…
Two crisp fishcakes without any fish (don’t ask), six potato rostis burnt to perfection, and a can of peas and sweetcorn. A pot of orange jelly to follow. I ate it all up and had a bag of Frazzles.
The photo on the left was taken from the kitchenette window. Well, this came out different, didn’t it? Heaven knows what I did wrong. Tsk!
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The party is over, not that I was invited,
With my mind & body so blighted,
And struggling, being so poorly sighted,
I got through another day – I’m delighted!
Facing another, I expect it will be addlepatted!
Hopes and plans to be thwarted,
Accifauxpas ridden, unpremeditated,
My computer crashed, problems unpropitiated,
And it’s over 60 years since I mated!
Huh!
TTFN
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late morning and Gawd knows how many more throughout the day.
It’s too dark yet again. It usually clears a bit later.
Taken while getting the Nocturnal Cather Pouch unattached. The white spot is the flash from Kodak Tim.
Made up a waste bag and hoovered around the main room. 
So, I got the crossword book out. Flipped it open and started on the random one. I also got a few answers; I got two more answers anyway. Then, the pain started, which again caught me by surprise. All the signs were that it was going to be a Trotsky effort. To take my mind off the pain, I counted the cracks on the wet room ceiling for a while. There were 27 cracks up there, 
I think. 
, 
, and 
in both knees, they let me know their discomfort in the usual fashion. Arrgh! 
didn’t seem too bothered by my tumble
, I’d left 
in the wet room and rose gingerly from the chair. Carer Christopher arrived
I decided a brew of Thompson’s Punjana was in order. I limped, with surprisingly little pain, to the kitchenette. 
The new nightshirt was delivered. I got it hung up to get into later when I’d shaved. 
I returned to the wet room, determined not to have any more tumbles, to get the shave I forgot about earlier done. I had a Porcelain Throne Mark2 visit. No chinks this time, straight to the slushiness if a regular heavily Trotsky Terence commanded evacuation.
It’s not a bad effort visually. But the beef and I found both bits of it between the grizzled and fat, was disappointing, as was the so-called gravy. So much for ready-made meals! 
Thankfully, the potatoes that I baked to accompany it were superb. They were seasoned with black pepper and some of the adorable No-butter butter, but even this did not fill me.
So I backed up the sad-tasting but good-looking meal by delving into my favourite biscuit box! Vegan cookies and Lemon Tartlets. They were nice!
Carer Christopher arrived. He took off my one diabetic sock. Dealt out the medications, and then I asked him to take a photo of me in the new nightshirt.
Chris took a few snaps, this one on the right being a first in many ways.
shakes on camera simultaneously. Bearing in mind that they are rare and usually do not last for more than a minute makes this all the more remarkable. I ought to be in the medical Gazette! Hehe!
was in no mood to be activated. As for her leader, 
she never stops her bemusing, irritating meddling with the synapses and memory cells.
is to blame overall, I think. But I could be wrong, of course. Perhaps 
failing was involved in the brain invaders’ plot to send me into another world of confusion. For all I know… which is more guesses than estimates.
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At 03:30 hrs, an electric shock woke me. I did notice as I lay there thinking of getting up, or at least the possibility of this, that the nocturnal catheter back had next to nothing in it. Then nodded off again. I stirred again back into mock-life around 05:00 hrs and was glad I did. The memory box had sent me a message that ‘we’ must get the ablutions done before anyone arrives. Not that I needed this thought prompt; the moment I whiffed my BO was enough to trigger me into frantic action. 
I got a dressing gown on, and the innards instructed me to go to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did. The evacuation was a half & half-style. It took a lot of effort to get anything moving. And not a little pain. I was convinced that Constipation Conrad was back in charge of the action. Thinking that this would take some time, I got the 
crossword book and started having a go at it. I was doing well, as well. Then came the rapid splurge of liquid evacuating; it was all over in seconds. Unfortunately, the mess it sprayed all over took me ages to clean up. There’s always summat goes wrong! And I’d only been up for 10 or thereabouts minutes! Then the morning ablutioning and medications were started.
, and Germoloided
, but I should have known better than getting cocky
, knocking it over. 
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Not a good start!
The morning rain rained down.
This is the second brew of the day, which should mean the last brew, as I’m restricted to only two mugs daily. I consumed it as I worked hard, confused about what I was doing and possibly making more errors than ever before.
was so kind to me. I don’t think I had more than ten shocks all day!
The precipitation persisted for a while longer.
chafe at it. Hehe! So, I think it might be getting better now. 
The rain was getting lighter.
I got a letter informing me that I will be made an appointment at the Highbury Hospital shortly, and they will let me know later by post. The photo above was taken on my last visit.
Only the odd droplet of rain falling now. I went on the balcony and took a Kodak Tim from the end car park, where the mud-slide was. Plenty of it, too.
I’m sorry I bothered with it, now! 
,
again the server trolley wheel. To a certain degree, I swore, 
rather viciously, washed the things up and took this photograph from the kitchen window. I love it when a snap comes out okay.
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(Starting this blog, Tuesday Morning) 
And 
must have thought they deserved to win the prize for the ‘Bestest-Inchy-Brain-Interferers’ of the day. But that dubious honour was granted to 
and 
were both much kinder to me today.
, 
, repeatedly falling asleep, or a combination of the three. But little got done that I set out to do. I felt so lacklustre.
Memory promoting from photos from here on.
. Messy!
Then I carted them to the kitchenette, putting the things away in storage, the freezer, the fridge, the cupboards, the floor,
I took some Kodak Tim photographs along the way. This selection had a bottle of disinfectant (Lemon), bleach, and washing-up liquid.
Here, I have a Milk Roll, sliced bread, kitchen towels, bicarbonate of soda, soda water, and some of the economy kitchen towels, which I 
use to clean my spectacles, hearing aids, and cough into. Thick-skinned red potatoes are used to make baked spuds. Small fresh tomatoes and quick 
to cook potato cakes. A ready-made feast of cooked meals. Lamb Hotpot, Jamaican patties, Cumberland pie, and a sweet & sour battered balls meal.
I’m not going to starve! Hehehe! 
There was still room free in the fridge after packing everything into it.
Made a diversion to the wet room. For another of the 
in control, but only just this time. I sensed a possible resurgence underway from 
. After noting the lack of any post-evacuation rumbling and grumbling from the innards, I made this decision. 
s, all through the afternoon, broke my already fragile concentration.
The drizzle stopped and the grey skies turned a lovely blue hue. 
It looked to me, as the right ankle ulcer covered with the compression wrapping was doing better. That was because the wanting to scratch at the itching had returned. On the other foot, it looked like that ulcer was brewing up to do a bursting out. I can’t win. I dread the thought of having to walk with both ankles erupting and both Cartilages giving me grief. I’ll never be able to get to the surgery, clinic or hospital. Thinking this gave me a dread of having to use a wheelchair. Please, I hope not!
I took this evening’s snap from the kitchen window and then worked out my plans for the daily meal. The ready-made 
meal with the shortest sell-by date
grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop recliner, to watch the end of the ‘Heartbeat’ programme. 
as the first adverts came on the screen
Then I smelled the potatoes cooking in the oven… 
oven. 
I acquired the standard burnt finger on the oven racking. (I Germolened it.)
some Germolene-flavoured Bisto lamb gravy, adding a drop of Winiary Przyprawa seasoning into the mix. 
lamb hotpot contents out of the tray on top. 
Passed wind, bleached and drifted of into another mind-blank or sleep.
Carer Chris arrived and laughed when he saw the T-shirt that Sister Jane bought me a few years ago. He took a Kodak Tim snap of it and then of the sun setting from the balcony windows.
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Very dark.
Unknown why I took this. I can’t recall taking it.
Morning.
Struggled to get the slippers on. You can see the loose carpet I slipped on seconds later between the slippers.
Waste sorted.
Bootiful!
Food delivery.
4 Frazzles were ordered and charged for, and 2 arrived.
Taken to the right.
Taken to the left, both from the kitchen.
Had to patch up the compression dressing, then do the usual medicationings, olive oiled the wears, and Germoloided the haemorrhoids. Acne and Barrier creams were applied.
Had a struggle to get the PPs on today.
It was as painful as it had ever been.
Talk about making myself jump, which, of course, got the Cartilages playing up. With the compression tackle on the right leg, I can no longer use Phorpain to ease the agony. Hehehe! 
The carer arrived and got the one odd bamboo diabetic sock and slippers on for me.
Fantastic sun rays are coming through the cloud to the right of the balcony. Had the alien invasion started? Hahaha!
Lamburgers with sliced tomatoes in sourdough rolls, & a can of carrots & peas were cooked and served up. A pot of mandarin segments in orange jelly was the day’s dessert.
What a great hue later on!
Here’s the brolly revealed that I could not find!
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For some reason, as I was cooking, my mind went back to Rationing. Many years ago, when I was on a fishing holiday with Bill, Malcolm and Jock, we had just arr
ived at Lockerbie in Scotland. I was backing the van into the car park, and Bill, a butcher, said out of the blue, “I wish they would bring rationing back; I made a fortune with all the fiddles…” 
I forgot to add the garden peas. The potatoes were grand, but the vegan pie was not so good, although the gravy was absolutely delicious!
I’ve had since they started three months or so ago
had returned with a certain degree of nastiness and persistence. 
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were taking turns in taking me up. So I got up. Grumblingly! But the last three days have taught me something. Well, a few things. ) 1) My eyes are not so bad in the morning but slowly worsen as the day develops. 2) I have to get up early to complete the ablutions, and I struggle with the 
s in the afternoons
episodes, especially today. Dennis used to affect me all over, including prompting 
… this version, affects only the top of my head, which is puzzling me. It came on at least a dozen times today, but they are always in the morning? 
Was here when I had three of them! 
, one, she said I went white for a moment or two. They have not been lasting long, though. Haven’t come up with a name for them yet, but I will do.
arrived.
were doing a good job. Naturally, 
Lovely light colour this morning.
Wet room duties.
I’ve misplaced the underarm ointment the doctor gave me.
The Hi-Pressure Compression padding is holding up well.
After tooth cleaning (I spent more time trying to find the few I have left than cleaning them, Haha!), washing & shaving. Could I find the alert wristbands and panic alarm I’d taken off an hour and a half earlier when I entered the wet room? No! Well, not until I gave up searching and saw that I’d hung them over the handle of 
I got on the computer after taking the above snap… I can’t remember why I took it, or even taking it, but it was on the SD card when I got to putting them on the computer.
I made a small meal.
Then I had to stop on the computer. My eyes were bad, and a tiredness of almost viciousness forced me onto the bed. But sleep was denied yet again. The dressing gown was delivered.
bald, apparently one-legged, deaf, vision suffering, rotten teethed, Colin Cramp-Ridden, Vascular Dementia suffering, Cartilage pained, deaf, Reflux Rogered, Duodenal Donald Ulcered, Bleeding Haemorrhoided, Fungal Lesion Bleeding, coping with Cognitive Impairment Iris, client, with his Boil-on-bum, to take a photo. Which the lad did for me. I took a snap of him with his permission. A nice, friendly bloke.
Took a photo of the rain.
How beautiful it was!
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This is a ready-made, just-warm-it-up job: pulled BBQ pork and potato mash. I shelled some pod peas to eat raw with it, baked a potato, halved it, and 
lathered it in Flora’s creamy alternative to dairy, Non-Butter butter. It’s a
Nodded off to sleep, waiting for the football match to start. And Carer Christopher arrived. I just love that yellow Bob-Cap of his.
The Austria v Türkiye match had everything in it: rain storms, sweat, determination, action, and a result that I could live with; a Türkiye win!
The Türkiye team had put in such effort that most men collapsed when the final whistle sounded. Boy, did they deserve it, too!
Carer Christopher arrived on his last call. He medicated me and shot off home. I couldn’t blame him!
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I reluctantly returned to imitation life at 04:35hrs. Greeted, with warm welcomes, p
cleared within a few 
minutes. (Mind you, it returned mid-afternoon and stayed.) I had to stop blogging.
Phlebotomy Warfarin, Anticoagulation DVT nurse Hristina came to take a blood sample. Lovely to see her again. She said she thought a mistake had been made with me not being tested for so long. It’s been weeks since the last one! But the NHS struggles on. They may have killed off a few on the way, but that will only lighten their load. They did their best to add me to the list, but I filled them. As with the Catheter Contraption’s lack of change, not being allowed to try and pass urine, and failure to turn up by the Community Nurses to change the compression bandages on the ulcer and electric shock ankle… but I think they just like the idea of me being in pain, rather than actually wanting to kill me. Hahaha! I might be wrong, of course.
I think I must have taken this last night?
Rubbish sorted.
Terence Returns – 
Mid-morning.
Spot of rain later.
I’ve gone from forcing the evacuations to stopping them.
The Morrison order arrived.
Kodak Tim’s evening view.