Functional Neurological Disorder

Ibuprofen Inchy: Sunday 28th April 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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Or it might have been Carer Victor or Israel. Erm, if I remember correctly, I’ll reveal it all on Monday.
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It was not an extraordinary sort of day, with a few intermittent happenings that were out of the ordinary. I can’t recall having a single , no, honestly! A carer failed to arrive for the midday checks, which was not all that unexpected; last Monday, a morning medication Carer failed to arrive. The ailments and injuries were, as usual, ever-present.
My , or of course it may have been  , added up to three. This seems to be the agreed count these last few days, with my brain taking over masters in conjunction.
For some unknown reason, the burn on the right hand of the oven rack is taking a while to stop being painful. Constipation Conrad is back in charge of the evacuations. My concentration is no worse than yesterday. Not that that’s saying much. I think Concentration Konrad is now a permanent fixture. He joins the other ailments as a part of the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, which is losing its marbles?
It’s a busy week coming up, too. On Tuesday, the J Sainsbury order arrives – a big one, too! On Wednesday, the Pegasus Police form must be filled in and posted back – without any help from Caregiver Kara, who is on holiday for a fortnight. The results could be catastrophic if I get confused and fill it in wrongly, but a man of calibre should be able to cope. When I worked at Tesco, I had six tills to cash up, making sure the money was right, coupons were given and checked, and even the issue of Green Shield stamps had to be checked every day of the week.  
Of course, that was in 1966, a few years ago now. My brain had most of its functions working. All were pre my getting shot (twice), cancer, heart operation, duodenal ulcer operation, Cataract Katie, Glaucoma Gladys, Saccades Sandra, Dementia Doreen, falling in a lake, having the Stroke, getting Peripheral Neuropathy, Cancer of the bladder – Catheter Bag fitted… currently the most painful of the ailments! FND, Diabetes Insipidus, Diabetic Polyneuropathy – leading to Diabetes 2. Going deaf, a failed Cataract operation – currently awaiting a second one, a Glaucoma operation and having a permanent catheter fitted, Cartilage Chloe (left knee), Cartilage Carole (right knee), Onychovryptosis (Ingrowing toenails), None-Epileptic Seizure Disorder Dina, Cognitive Impairment Iris, Vasculitis Vanessa, Dental caries, which in turn assist my given ability for . I wear alert wristbands; if I wore one for each ailment, I’d run out of wrist and arm-room. Hahaha! I’m still searching for an ‘Allergic to Clopidogrel’ wristband. Not that I have room to wear it, Hehe!
They give Clopidogrel to everyone taken in after a stroke. But we didn’t know until it was too late that I was allergic to it. Thus, then I got Peripheral Neuropathy.
But it’s been fun and exciting.  
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I think I saw a speck of blood in the bag this morning when I photo’d it. Likely, it’s just a reflection from the flash, I assumed?
Much drizzle is out there from the balcony’s right window. The usual excellent parking is available from our senior citizens on the yellow chevrons, indicating, do not park here. I’m not jealous that the drivers can still afford to own one. Or that my licence had to be surrendered due to the ailments making me unsafe on the roads. Har, Har! The drugs would still have me nodding off; that’ll most likely be the s. Coming home from work one day from Rempstone, I stopped at some traffic lights in Clifton and dosed off for two hours. I woke up in an ambulance going to the hospital. I felt fine; I just have no memory of what happened. Apparently, other drivers couldn’t wake me up and thought I’d snuffed it and called an ambulance and police.
I decided that at that time, I’d hand in my licence. I realised that I could have killed someone. What if I’d been driving at the time? The RAC returned the car to my garage. I thanked them and cancelled my membership. Within two days, I’d given my beloved vehicle away. At least it helped a mate who was out of work. I never saw him again? 
Boy, I’ve waffled on here! Sorry.
Off to the wet room.
A rare return of .
Almost caught me out! I was expecting a battle with .
After the slushy evacuation, the stomach remained gurgling. I cleaned things up and started shaving.

Partway through doling, I hastily plonked down on the seat again for a repeat performance. Well, not so much, but what exited was even more watery this time. With a tinge of orange in the colour that was not there on the first session on the throne? By the time I finished shaving, washed, and did the medicationings for the delicate areas in need, then got the place cleaned up again, I’d been there for over two hours! It was a more painful-to-pass scenario, but I’d gladly welcome him back.
Pants and slippers on again, I meandered out onto the balcony. The rain was still pouring down.
I took the first two of the snaps. They were not very good, taken through the window glass. 
I hobbled into the kitchenette to do the same through the kitchen glass. All three show how much it was raining, though. We had a fair bit of it yesterday.
 
There followed an almost rapid selection of I caught the hand in the window closing it, right on the burn scar, which naturally made me jump away… ; I knocked the towel roll and holder off of the window ledge. : The stalk broke off from the base. : Bending down to retrieve those as mentioned earlier, I hit my forehead on the edge of the radiator. Turned and dropped the walking stick, which hit the fridge and fell right on my left foot’s ingrowing toenail! Did I swear? Yes! And I did again when I realised I’d sprayed the kitchen cleaner all over the dressing gown when cleaning things up. Humph!

I got out the new vacuum cleaner and hoovered up the mess I’d made when walking to the wet room in the hallway.
I took a snap of the new cleaner to show you the fancy headlights on the machine. Hehehe! The vacuum arrived in eleven pieces in a square box, with miniature writing on the instruction booklet. Luckily for me, Carer Chris came and assembled it within three minutes. Of course, I could have handled doing it quickly; I just wanted the lad Chris to think he’d done something worthwhile.
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The new Catheter Pouch Bag keeps slipping down the leg.
The new Tena Protection Pants keep slipping down.
I also seem to have misplaced my hearing aids. I’ve checked the wet room, kitchen, rubbish tip room, and front room without any success.
To the rescue again. He found the hearing aids within minutes. He’s a very good ferriter. While he was searching, he spotted some biscuits, and he had to have a packet. Hehehe! They had dropped behind the rickety 1962 G-Plan cabinet, and he retrieved them for me. Saved again! 
The evening sky kept changing hue. Well, I thought it did, anyway. Of course, what my eyes see and you may not do…

Or should that be the other way around? You can tell I’m getting tired, can’t you? My thoughts at this moment, remind me of vegetable dumpling stew… mixed, unclear and lumpy.
I took this last, catching the edge of the window frame and the sun on its way home. There’s an elegance to these sunset shots. They’re vivid yet semi-opaque – a bit like the cameraman. Har-Har!


A simple nosh for a simpleton.
Salt & vinegared chips, vegetarian sausages, a soft brown baguette with pickle-flavoured ketchup.
Followed by a pot of mandarins in jelly.
My hunger was pleasantly sated.

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TTFN

Icarian Inchy: Saturday 27th April 2024

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Five old Odes were picked at random.
Cause I’d not got time to make one.
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The Dang-nabbed pains from the lower regions of Little Inchie are slowly getting worse again. I know how this affected me over the last two weeks of agonising suffering, and I am not looking forward to the pains getting worserer. And this, with the more frequent ‘Out-Of-It’, Mind-Banks and possible seizures, I am going to ring the Doctor on Monday and try to get things looked into. The Acne and Barrier cream prescriptions that the Chemist had received from the Doctor eight days ago have not arrived with the monthly prescriptions; they were late and left me without pain-numbing Codeines for two days. 
Just when I needed them more than ever.
That (I hope) is the end of my moaning.

At 05:50 hrs, I bounded out of bed and did fifty toe touches and 100 press-ups. I ran down the 12 flights of fire escape stairs and back up again to the flat. I made a drink of carrot juice and had five raw eggs. Or, the truth. At 05:50 hrs, I came back to consciousness, in pain with the , they’d woken me up so many times in the night),  , and the pains from rampant. I had a feel around with some kitchen towelling, and at least this time, there was only a smidgeon of bleeding. As I forced my legs from the bed, a new language was coming from my mouth. Something along the lines of; Arghhh, ug, shit, oho! sodditski”. As I was catching my balance, a developed. It only lasted for a few seconds but it  , right against the right foot . I caught the ankle, and my lesion is now leaking. Not that it bothered me, of course. Ahem! 
This shot of the legs and nocturnal pouch I took when I was doing my ablutions shows how good the urine colouring was this morning. Do you see Tea Glengettiethe bones sticking out on the feet? That was due to contribution to the morning ailments.
I washed and shaved, and after stopping the bleeding ear hole, I did the Medicationings as required and made a brew of rich, strong Glengettie tea. Then, I got the computer on and faced a mammoth task.
I’d done a little prep work on CorelDraw, but I have not started anything on this blog yet. And due to Mind Blanks whatever, I was struggling.

This cost me even more time and bother. I found myself in the kitchen, cooking a microwave meal, and unconcerned at that time, I got out a baguette to go with it. I knew it was beans, and it had an odd taste—not bad, just different. I sat at the computer with the tray in a drawer and ate it, not all of it. But I don’t usually have a meal in the morning. Good heavens, it’s afternoon now. Investigations were needed to satisfy my own curiosity.

First, I retrieved the sleeve from the waste bin to find out exactly what I’d just eaten. It was a Vegetarian Chilli. 
Then I perused the caregiver log folder. Yes, two caregivers had called on me without any memory whatsoever of the visits! 
Joanne and Israel, this must have been a long seizure or whatever it was. I’d used the new vacuum thingy during the blackout, I suppose. Because it had been moved and left near the caregiver’s table, I may have been demonstrating it. Joanne, likely. The tray and dishes had also been washed. 

The rumblings and grumblings from my innards suggested that I might want to visit the wet room. So, I did!
Another turnabout in the evacuation process! A complete reversal of yesterday’s reluctant, painful, rear-end-splitting concrete torpedo! This was like a straw-coloured with a tinge of green, cabbage-bringing to mind, never-stopping sloppy dollop. The catheter day bag sleeve was standing up well. I’ll need a carer to do it when it needs replacing or gets dirtier. It is fraying at the bottom cut-out hole to accommodate the on-off valve snout. 
The right hand is more painful than when I first burned it on the oven rack. I’m trying not to put anything in my right-side pocket because I’ve been going into it to get the camera, and each time, I forget all about it and give out an Arrgh! Hehe!
Carer Israel came for the least two visits. 
I spent a while concentrating but did not succeed in finishing the blog. I think I finished it at about 23:00 hrs.


The potatoes had been in the crock-pot for over 14 hours. But they tasted okay. For some reason, the brown baguettes seemed tasteless, as if something had been left out of the contents. I ate half of one of them. The sausages were brilliant!

I tried to get the flat balconies in this shot.

Keep well, and don’t let them grind you down!

TTFN.

Ickier Inchy: Friday 26th April 2024

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The blessed, unaccountable reduction in the agony, down to merely a bothersome pain. It is now reverting again. Slowly, it is getting worse and more frequent, but I have hopes. It is currently estimated at 50% of the high reached over the two previous days. In the morning, I will have an ablution session, concentrate, and cream the ‘delicate’ area (Little Inchies zone). Getting the new catheter bag pouch off and on might be a stumbling block, with having to bend to get it off and then on without damaging the frail cotton it’s made of. (Fingers crossed on that one) We’ll see how it goes. At least I have some Codeines to ease the pain now. 
I’m sure I had a  or during the day. Some were in which I was doing things, albeit making a mess of them, but I had no memory of them. One, in the afternoon, was a cracker. It was as if I just blinked, and two hours were lost. After the blink, I could not see that I’d done anything. Had I unknowingly nodded off, perhaps? Indeed, if I had dozed, I’d still be getting the leg dances as I had all day and would have fallen off of the chair?
Is it all a part of the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and my failing mentality and physicality. That taunt, irritate, and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? Just a thought.
I lost so much time being out of it that tomorrow morning at 09:40 hrs, I’ve only just started this blog.
Oh, dearie me. Hehehe!

05:25hrs: I stirred back reluctantly to life. (I’d had a dream that I’d died and was arguing with St Peter at his gates. No details were available; I was just getting irate with him over something. (Mayhap he wanted to send me back to earth?) Haha!
I cannot recall taking this, but I must have; it was on the SD card in order. Looking at it with the spyglass, it seemed rather shaky.
A reversal in evacuation stakes this morning.
Trotsky Terence’s return was short-lived. Still, on the bright side, it meant far less time, and aches needed to be cleaned up after the session.
I went back to putting on the Unisex Protection Pants today. Yesterday, the new Tena ones were a little loose, which meant Little Inchie and his lesion got scuffed a few times. Not that the pain bothers me. Oh, no!
I got the out of the pouch holder relatively quickly. Mainly because it was so full, which helped.
However, when it came to getting things back on again, it took me ages and a lot of frustration to do so. (Pain as well)  I ripped the side of the leg bag getting it back on. I also knocked the burn scar on the right hand from the oven-singeing against the grab bar, the skin broke, and blood flowed.
One of my better days.

Minutes before my first ‘Blank’, I took this snap of the Woodthorpe Court end car park.
Hours later, I could see nothing had been done on the blog or cleaning, and the notepad barely had three lines of reminders on it. Hurumph!

Because I’m a Pareidolist,
Finding figures I can’t resist,
Faces, animals I can detect…
In the clouds, even with mist,
Yet, I’m no astrologist,
Maybe I’m an illusionist?
I wanted to be a harpsichordist,
Nature at her bestest…
Because I’m a Pareidolist,

The day’s views from my little kitchenette. Of the clouds on display, for me to find things hidden within. A goose, a tree,  fingers, three faces… no, four! A snake, a mouse, there’s probably more.
I can’t be sure. There is no possible cure. For my habit, I’m a Pareidolist.

A different type of nosh today.
Vegetarian sausages (8.8/10), Milk Roll Bread (8/10), Air-Fried Chips (6.5/10), and ketchup with pickle (8.2/10). I can’t work out the average, But I’ll try. With the help of the Windows calculator, I made the average 7.875/10?

I may struggle to get a blog done tomorrow, folks. Or it will be a short one, if at all. Things medicationalistically are not good,  pain-wise again, today. Saturday at just gone 17:50hrs, must get things sorted after a meal. I’m just getting this finished to send off. Nothing has been done on Starudays blog yet. And I’m on the verge of depression. But I will not allow it to get to me today. Will-Power, huh! Naturally this may be or not, so what! Just another of life’s aims shot. 

I am a clot! With acne back on my clock!

TTFNski!

Iconicless Inchy: Thursday 25th April 2024

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I was gobsmacked this morning and genuinely amazed, astonished, astounded, surprised, staggered, stopped in my tracks, stunned, dumbfounded, discombobulated, flabbergasted, knocked sideways, to the point of feeling awestruck! I had a slice of inspiration last night that I didn’t realise then. I might call it an epiphany. It is complicated to word it, but I’ll tell you about it.
Last night, I was still in agony with the Little Inchie problem, so I got a wash and felt the tribulated lower regions. Anyone with a much lesser midriff than I have would have taken a look. I had a grope around. My hand felt dried blood on the hairs. I tried tugging it off, but that was too painful, so I got the scissors, and using feel instead of sight, I riskily cut of the bloodied hair. Ouch! With the help of the now-working Codeines, the pain abated shortly afterwards. Brilliant! I went into an adopted temporary Smug Mode. 

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Up at 0:15hrs. This photo on the right shows how it came, terrible and oh so blue, of the Nocturnal Catheter pouch. I did not have the foggiest idea of what I did wrong and tried another effort. That came out spot on what my eye saw. A too-deep colourisation in the urine again. Humph!

Off to the wet room. Diverting to the kitchen en route to ensure that I’d not left the taps (faucets), cooker on, or fridge or freezer door open. I took a snap of the morning view while doing the safety checks.
Eventually, it was ruled by an iron rod—or maybe a reluctant concrete torpedo. It was one of the longest evacuations, from start to finish, ever, leaving a highly stretched, pained bottom and slight bleeding. In fact, when I rose to tackle the cleaning up and freshening, I felt a bit giddy.
A quick ablutioning session, in which I did not have a shave or clean my teeth. But there is a perfectly understandable reason for this. I forgot to!
Another duff photo of the beet and legs was taken, so I tried again, and it was much better this time. The legs are getting much thinner, and the bones are showing through now! but
are more infrequent.

I had to sort some frozen foods out, and when I checked the fridge, I found many items out of date, not that I could read many of them.
I made up two more bags of waste. I needed to make some room to get the frozen food ordered for delivery today. What a Plonker!
Carer Chris came, scoffed some nibbles and scrounged a drinkie. Hehehe! 
Then Window Cleaner Man Joe arrived. I nattered away about my problems as he did the windows. Paid the lad, and off he flew to his next client.
The Asda order arrived.
I was well pleased that they had the vegetarian sausages in again. I decided to have some for my nosh… then found that the pork pie had an eat-by-date for today on it. So, I’ll have that tonight instead.
Minutes later, the Iceland order arrived. Eight carrier bags worth were put in the doorway, and I moved them one at a time into the kitchenette,
I bought some crisps and snacks. There must have been a reason for so many, but I don’t know what it is.
The freezer was not cram-packed, and the fridge a little fullerer. I’ll not starve, that’s for sure. I think I also have a J Sainsbury order coming next Tuesday! Patties, chips, pies, sausages, a veritable feast.

Or must have hit me because I recall nothing until arrived. The bad news is that Kara is going off on holiday for two weeks, so if I have trouble with the bank, they will only talk with Carer Kara as my representative or something, and I’ll be up the creek. Going to have nobody to check my finances or orders and no one to set my heart beating. Haha! Kara fitted the new catheter bag holder on my leg for me. I hope it helps because yesterday’s pain relief for me is now starting to come back on again. Kara also brought some Codeines; bless her.

I cut the pork pie into pieces, sliced tomatoes, and spread some of the gorgeous-tasting Flora Non-Butter butter thickly on some slices of Milk Roll bread. It’s a giant round potato hash cake, and very nice, too!
What a feast it was with Heinz tomato ketchup and pickle! I got the hash brown thing frozen from Iceland. It crisped up marvellously.
I may have the other one tomorrow.
A shot taken with Kodak Tim while I was washing up came out looking somewhat eerily. Haha! Another one for the Tate Gallery to reject.

Carer Chris returned, bringing the laundry up with him. He attached the nocturnal night pouch to the catheter and whipped off my diabetic socks.
Chris selected some nibbles and a bottle of Lucozade, and then we said farewells.

I soon nodded off into a deep and miraculously uninterrupted kip. Nice!

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I wanted to buy a Volvo,
But broke, I settled for an Oxo,
I don’t drink alcohol or vino,
Now I’ve become a fatso…
Chips and marshmallow?
Ever in a mental imbroglio,
Confusion an ipso facto,
I used to do judo,
Then it was Ludo.
Not now, thanks to ailments neuro,
I blog but with many a typo,
I’m mentally all Akimbo,
Physically, I need a neuro-physio,
Life’s all saltimbanco, Cheerio!

TTFN

Idyllist Inchy: Friday 19th April 2024

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It was another rush to get things sorted out before the earlier lift arrived to take me to the Riverside Diabetes Course. Carer Maryham helped me; she came as I was washing myself. She put on the socks and shoes and made sure I was leaving the flat in a safe condition. She even helped me into the overcoat. How kind. Bless her.
Actually, this morning in Bulwell, I went to two shops. The meeting went quicker than usual, so I plodded down the road to the Heron Food Store and then to the B&M shop. I’ll write about the events in those chronologically later. (Good stuff, not bad!)
Here we go…

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Up, in a rush, catheter pouch off took this snap of the blue morning.

Waste bags sorted.

Off to the wet room.
Porcelain Throne duties took me a long time to force out. Four chunky pale green torpedoes eventually clonked and splashed into the water closet.
Then I started to get the ablutions done.

The tune indicated the arrival of the morning carer. It was Carer Maryham. And she really looked after me this call. She assisted me with the ablutions, put the diabetic socks on my legs, and helped me put on the trousers and shoes. Then, I checked the flat thoroughly to make sure everything was honky-dory. Taps, doors, and cooker. She even reminded me to take the keys with me. Bless her cotton socks.
Minutes later, I was out of the flat, locked the door, and entered the 13th-floor lift foyer. I went in and out of the lift and took this snap to the left, the way I was to go. Then, I took the second picture to the right, in the opposite direction. That leads to the connecting swipecard door passageway into Winwood Heights, the centre block of flats. I timed it well, the eta for the lift being 10 minutes later. I got seated in the main lobby opposite the clock and had a go at the crossword. The bus came spot-on at 08:15hrs.
I planned to take some photographs as we pulled away, but I only managed this one. Why? I’ll tell you.
The agony I was going through from the Catheter tube tugging at Little Inchie! I imagine that with going out yesterday as well, the Fungal Lesion had had enough of being tugged and pushed. Hehehe! 
I was in such pain that I spent the whole journey trying to get into a more comfortable position.
The chap dropped me of at the front door of the Riverside premises. I thanked him, gave him a treat, and attended the session. I may not bother going again. I could not see the graphs or hear what the chap was saying. Humph!
I left early, meandered into Bulwell Market, and called in the Heron Store. Where I was looked after again! I like this... a lot. First, when I went to get some cash out of the machine thingy, ATM, I think it’s called, I could not recall how to put the card in, just like a few weeks ago. I did feel a clot, so I asked one of the assistants to help me. Yet she was very calm and sorted me out. The really fantastic thing is I remembered the 4-digits! Smug-Mode Engaged, temporarily, at least.
I spotted some great-value instant potato pots. I could just about reach them, and I did… But I dropped all three, which fell at an assistant’s feet on the floor! Kindly, she said, if you struggle to get anything, just ask, and we’ll get it for you. All this strange being nice to Inchy was worrying me now. Haha!
When paying for the goods, I bought a bag, and the lady packed it with the purchases for me!

I thanked them and hobbled down to the B&M Store.
They had some pork ball franks, as opposed to the usual sausage shape, and at a fantastic price. 75p each, two jars for a quid! Having them tonight with beans, potatoes and sauce. I struggled to get them off the high gondola end, and a lady came and got them for me. More Joy! I thanked her profusely. Got some bird food to feed the dickies on the River Lean on the way back to get the lift. I turned to look back and took this snap of the pigeons still nibbling away.
As I returned to the centre, the Easy-Lift bus had just arrived. This was another thing that went right for me; it’s nerve-wracking, you know! No, really, I’m just not used to it.
I got the Kodak Tim camera out ready as I got in the seat and took shots all the way home, depicting the Nottingham area. Here they are
Leaving the car park.
Leaving Bulwell.
Highbury Vale.
Bilborough.
Redhill.
Behind the City Hospital.
Mansfield Road Sherwood one.
Mansfield Road Sherwood two.
Turning up Winchester Street Hill.
Winchester Street Hill.
The flats, partly in view.
Turning onto Chestnut Walk.
And the flats.
The driver had a treat in thanks, and I felt Little Inchies fungal lesion was bleeding again.

I got inside, took the lift to my floor, and entered the flat without seeing a soul. I already began to feel jaded and tired.
Got the bags off of three-wheeled Theresa. Emptied the catheter bag. Washed and Treated Little Inchie, then back to the bags
The pork ball jars, potato pots, batteries, pork pie, carer and nurse treats, as well as cans of pop and two more Passion Fruit Martinis, sound good; I hope they like them.
Nibble treats, disinfectant and cooked beef slices.
Nice and cheap, too!
A good example is when I emptied the day catheter into the urine depository jug. Did you notice the change in colour in the bag now, compared to this morning’s, which I forgot to empty out? It’s a better colour now.

As time passed, I was getting increasingly tired. Carer Helen came and took a few old and new treats.

Then, on with this blog. There was a lot to do and a meal to prepare in between. The time flew, and Carer Chris arrived. We had some nibbles and a drinkie.
I took photos of the sky throughout the evening.

No idea of the timing.
Plenty of faces and animals in the clouds.
Semolina pudding? Haha!
Got some beans in the saucepan.
Illusionable snap?
A Pareidolianist Delight!

Carer Christopher returned the laundry for me.

I prepped and ate the football-shaped sausages with a can of BBQ beans and added Mediterranean vegetable sauce. A Lemon Curd yoghourt to follow.
Not bad at all.

Came. Took off the socks, and asked how the appointments went. Painkillers given & Peptac. 
She checked the pouch, and I told her about the pains from Little Inchie, probably brought on by the exercise I’d been doing going out and about. I enjoyed it; Little Inchie didn’t. Haha! Kara left a night pouch handy for me to put on.

I checked before getting my head down, and I got this, very late, it seemed to me, a shot of the day’s final appearance of the sun.

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Cheers!

Ignorant Inchy: Tuesday 16th April 2024

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As days go by, I would not have missed this one had it disappeared into the ether. Cock-ups, confusion,  worry, semi-panics, depressions, frustrations, apprehensions, fears, dejections, rejections, vexations, and complications. Making it even worse, self-pity visited a few times. More killings and stabbings. A , and the persistent today .
Still, it could always be worse.
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Woke around 06:30hrs: Having slept, albeit a broken sleep, for over 6 hours! Dark urine again.

Topped up the freebie thank you drinks shelves. Much more choice for the Carers & Nurses.

Put the waste bags in one.

A hard work getting the motion to start.

The Asda order arrived.
It took me some time to get all the bags into the kitchenette. In doing so, I suffered a little bit of a . I caught my ankle ulcer against something sharp in the bag I was carrying.
I brushed the bag against it, but it was no bother. I didn’t howl, wince, swear, or anything of that nature. I laughed it all off and merrily carried on carrying the bags in.

Instant mash with cheese, pork pie, bacon off-cuts, Lactofree milk and some haddock goujons. Never tried these before in a light batter; it might just suit my taste buds, but …When I was taking them with the other fresh foods to the refrigerator, I dropped some stuff and then . And proceeded to tread on the goujon packet, and the pack burst open, distributing the crushed fish bit around the kitchen floor! This time, I did howl, wince, and swear a bit. Got some antiseptic cream on the wound, and carried on sorting the food out.
A selection of naughty but nice desserts, seasoned potato slices and mash, tomatoes, pasties & a packet of coffee bags for the carers to make and drink in their restroom. The tomatoes were Dutch and delightful!
Milk Roll soft sliced bread. Brown French baguettes, cheap kitchen towels.
I think that the fridge has never been fuller. 
I’ve still got the pasta packets to use up. I think, just maybe, I am a little nervous from when I scalded my hand months ago.
The Freezer is also fuller than ever. I will not receive any more food deliveries until next week. I even had to throw away some dated stuff to make room for the bread and baguettes, which now will fit into the freezer drawers. Carer Kara later took them with the other bags to the chute for me. ♥

Concentrating on blogging for ages and ages, I suddenly noticed that it was light now. Thought I’d take a picture of the view on offer. Such a gorgeous sky. I also realised that I’d been up for a long time, and it was now 11:00hrs… and no morning carer had been – or had they? 
I knew I’d had a earlier this morning and was toying with my head. Uncertainty, doubtfulness, and an unreliable trust in my own memory.Had someone been or not? That is the question at hand now. Surely someone had been by now? I could not get anything from my memory box about one. Not that this is unusual. The first clue of any positivity was that I had not got the diabetic socks on. (But this has happened often before, when I forget to ask the Carer to take them off at night or to put them on in the morning). In fact, I had wrapped a throw around my legs to keep warm while on the computer – doubts still lingered, and I didn’t want to ring about it for fear of being told that I was talking rubbish again. A lingering doubt in question… was could I be certain or not? I still couldn’t decide. I was too nervous to ring to check. I’ll wait until the midday Carer calls and check with her/him. I was baffling myself. Battling a battered brain and unreliable, failing memory-blank is not easy. I’d say the words to use are ‘Frustrating’, ‘Embarrassing’, ‘Annoying’ and ‘Hopeless! If only the social and medical helpers would read this blog, they would learn more about the problems that I will no doubt forget about within days. Humph!
That’s something else that concerns me about my memory, well, more like amazes me. Sometimes, when writing the blog, I am able to press on, but once I am interrupted or waylaid by the door chime, a phone call, having to empty the catheter bag, the need to check if I’d left the taps running, a visit to the , cooker on, fridge door open, etc., getting back into it is a real struggle. 
I’m still not certain that a Carer did not call! Doubts linger on, and an awareness that things are not going to get any easier worry me now. Although, if (when) I do get worse, I may not be aware and stop fretting over the situation? I’m becoming a bag of nerves and fears. But only part-time, now and again?
I waffled on a bit there, sorry.

I’m back on with the blogging. And shortly arrived. I was still in a state of semi-confusion when Kara came. I mentioned my doubts to her. She checked something on the mobile and then looked at the record log. (I wish I’d done that earlier, Tsk!).
Kara gave me the early morning medications and got my socks me legs. She has no time now, but she’ll try to help me tomorrow with the confusing emails that I’ve received. She took the bags with her and did the Safety checks on the taps, doors, and stove were not left on.  Thank you ♥!

Memory Blanks again.
I assume I took these shots at different times in the late afternoon. I’m pretty certain, but not sure, of the artistic clouds in the sky. The second shot down tempted my Pareidoliaising instincts. To my eyes and mind, it reminded me of all things, of the Red Dwarf spaceship? Not so much now after I’ve put it in and looked again though. Can anyone else see it? Or is it just me? Hehehe!
The well urine filled almost caught me out.
What a relief! Haha! The backflow pains gave me the nod that it needed emptying post-haste.

Carer Chris did the last two calls. Nibbles and a drinkie. Night pouch attached, diabetic socks removed. He left me nodding off. Hehe!

I nodded off as soon as the lad had gone and had the best sleep I’ve enjoyed for ages. It was a short but Shock-free session, and I was soon back up again at 02:10 hours, needing the Porcelain Throne. It was another Constipation Conrad session. So I stayed up and got some tidying up done, then onto the computer. I soon drifted off to sleep after Chris had gone. But burst back into life at 02:20hrs, in need of the Porcelain Throne, despite  Doing her best to have me over. Stayed up and back on the computer… It’s a hard life, full of strife, no wife, mental confusion, physical ailments rife! Still, it might get better in the afterlife?

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Siriol!
Cheerio, in Welsh!

Inactivated Inchy: Thursday 11th April 2024

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A little lighter colour this morning.
Morning sky shot
And… a ground shot!

Balcony doors.

Later on, a kitchen view.

End car park.

Kitchenette.

Midday gloom. It did brighten a bit later.

Nearly caught me out again!

I took this Kodak Tim shot.
Then tiredness & weariness dawned.
The plan was to get some sleep in before the teatime caller came and then get back on the blog.
This plan did not come to fruition!
I struggled to get stripped and clambered into the bed. In particular,  gave forth pains, complaining as I got in and settled into the new second-hand bed. I struggled further, getting into a pain-free position for sleep.
Eventually, I was satisfied that I’d got it as good as I was going to and cleaned up the mess I’d made around the bed, got the overbed table in position with the flat torch, the mobile phone and a bottle of water on it, and climbed painfully into a raise prone position which I thought was okay. It wasn’t!
I just got myself deeper into a mess again. Not being able to see or understand the controller did not help much. Within two minutes of my laying down in the snug bed, I’m afraid that
kicked off. Annoyed and frustrated, I got out, made the bed and put the overbed table up on it. With was angry at all the leg lifting needed.
I was now verging on sinking into the mammoth depression as I got back into the c1968 itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. But at least I found , at long last. I had turned on the TV, and the 16:00hrs News was starting, but I soon drifted off into a wonderful oblivion. Heavenly sleep! But it didn’t last long. Five minutes later, turned up, full of the joys of spring. Hahaha! He issued the medications, and I was in the chair for the entire visit, mumbling about needing sleep! Hehehe! He didn’t hang out and left me wishing I could get some sleep!
Which I did within minutes of Chris departing, a deep, wonderful, dream-filled at times, but not bad ones. I slept for an hour at least… then, you’ve probably guessed, started off! They didn’t last for very long. But they put an end to any more silly hopes and dreams of getting to sleep… at least until for two hours or so when I managed to nod off back to kip in the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner. For five minutes, and the return of made his last call. The lad took off the diabetic socks and issued the medications by torchlight. Bless him. I told him to take some nibbles and a cold drink from the fridge. Oh, and a can of Corona beer. I think I nodded away as soon as he’d departed. And stayed in the good-dream-filled slumber for about 3 hours, 
I woke, unsure of where I was, when it was, and my tormented mind full of self-lambasting, guilt, shame and embarrassment-filled memory recollections from . Worran ‘orrible night!

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Go Forth & Enjoy!

Inchy Inadmissibly: Sunday 7th April

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Up and about at 05:50hrs:

Once again, the wee-wee in the was not good a good colour.

I can’t say why I took two of the photos, but apparently I did so.

COMMENCED

First, a heavy-duty visit to the Throne was called for, so I sat on the Throne. It soon became apparent that was in full charge of this morning’s evacuation operation. I waited for what was obviously going to be a ginormous release to begin.
I counted the cracks in the ceiling: 22. Is it funny how the total is different every time I count them?
I could feel the solid torpedo as it crept agonisingly slowly and ever more painfully towards daylight. I got the crossword book and pencil from the floor cabinet and tried the puzzle. Blimey, I was doing well with it. 
Then the concrete torpedo started to come properly, still very slowly, making me winch at first. 
But at least it got out, more than yesterday’s two failed attempts. As the pain subsided, I was so glad it was not messy and needed a marathon cleaning job. I had to flush the thingy a few times, but it went down eventually, and I set about shaving.
There were a few more nicks and cuts this time, but nothing bothersome. I realised I’d forgotten to call the dentist to get a toothpaste prescription, so I used an old-looking tube of paste that had not been thrown out. I don’t think that was a good idea. Eurgh! Leaving the wet room, it dawned on me how well I did with the crosswording and how clear-headed I felt compared to usual.
As I went to get the kettle on for my brew of tasty  Glengettie tea, I took this snap of the morning clouds in view from the kitchen.
I felt appreciative of how with it, I felt. I decided to add at the end of yesterday’s blog my decision to cut back on the time it is taking me now. I can’t see, and the shakes are getting worse, which has always been expected. I had no problem finding the words needed and made far fewer mistakes than usual while doing it. In fact, a was engaged. Of course, I knew it would not last long, so I hastily got the computer on to write about my decision. Of course, now I have to prevent myself from looking a twit by actually cutting back on the thing I love doing! The thing that is keeping me going. This may not work, you know. I did tremendously well with my concentration. For the first time in ages, I felt I was achieving something on my own; that was my idea… of course, we’ll have to see how it goes.
I’d got near the end and was about to read through it, and the Carer came in. I think I had him call last weekend. His name was Aliga. Nice chap. He remembered to remind me to take the Vit B12, the lad remembered from last week! I forgot to ask him to put the diabetic socks on, though. Due to our waffling throwing me out of kilt. I realised after he was gone that this essential interruption had killed my bit of unexpected clarity of mind and semi-mental alertness.
or . I imagine that after the lad had gone, I must have had a mind-blank or seizure because I had no idea what I was doing until chimed out four hours later. As far as I can tell, nothing had been done on the blog at all in those four hours? 
It was arriving. I was back in the land of confusion. Those few early hours were so pleasant, clear, and translucently appreciated. Will I ever get another one like it? I pray so.
Kimberley was like fresh air when she arrived. She noticed that I was not wearing the diabetic socks; bless her, and she got them fitted first thing for me. ♥  
. Medications were given, and we had a little natter. 
As she departed, I sat for a moment to try and identify the differences in my mind compared to earlier on. The worries, fretting, and depression in my state had all returned; they had never left in years, yet they did this morning. I’d like to solve the problem of finding out why I was so… well it must be happy and contented for those first few hours today. All a part of the “Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind?”, I suppose.

As I sat there, I felt the need to return to the Porcelain Throne. Thinking there would be no rush, I didn’t exactly respond immediately. That was a mistake, and I should have been aware of it with my changing evacuation state. I did not make it to the WC tub in time!
I’d already been lifted by the early morning clarity of mind moments. Then lowered with disappointment when the worrying and fretting returned. Now, the embarrassment and shame joined in. Not to mention the washing and cleaning up needed afterwards. A 100% turn-around in my evacuations within an hour or so between the two visits. Life can be such a bugger, can’t it, when one gets older.
This cloud shot on the right is possibly my best-of-the-month pareidoliaising photo. I took it through the kitchen window and had to stretch a bit to get it. Hence the external wall was caught in the shot on the left, which gave more of an impression of an angry cloud face in sky. Furrowed highbrows, eyes, and a magical nose. I thought it was great. Carer Aliyas has been, and he took a photo of the day bag on my leg for me.

Time to get some nosh. Vegetable soup will do me.

I spotted the short, sharp shower spots shimmering steadily down the window pane. I took a Kodak Tim snap of the raindrops falling down the windows. Then the rain stopped!
Another selection of late shots, that are without doubt an absolute  Pareidolians Delight.

I see several partially distorted faces, including one that is ‘Scream-like’. I also see a spaceship, a ghost, caves and caverns, and the moon’s surface area. Great! Oh, and I’ve just noticed a Scottie dog’s face, too! Middle photo.

I put the potato chunks in the oven. They baked up well, nice and crispy, just as I like them. This added a crunch to the soup.
The soup. with its added can of garden peas.

Then, the bowl again, this time with the chunky baked potatoes added to the mixture. The gravy was made, and a splash of Worcester Sauce was also in there.

Well, I soon got that one scoffed away—too quickly, maybe, as then he started his imitation of imminent regurgitation & pains. 
  I went to get the washing up done and found, to my amazement, that I’d left the  It’s completely cold water now! That’s three times this week I’ve left the hot tap running. As Tim Price advised, I’m going to ask the Council if I can be allowed to buy auto-turn off taps and have them fitted. The bank manager might not like it.
arrived, medicated me and took off my socks. I turned off the TV, and sorted getting into the bed. Not easy as things were laid out, so I moved some things a little to make more room for the Carers to get about. And more space for me to haul my legs up on the bed. Messy, but it had to be done. Moved the over be table in close, with a bottle of water, the torch and the mobile on it. Next, I toyed with the remote control for the bed movements. Not the easiest of things to read in the torchlight. But I had to turn the lights of and use the torch to get into it. I managed to get the top end lower, but now I have the end bit raised up wonder my knees. I’ll see how that goes.

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TTFNski

Insecure Inchy: Sat 6 Apr 24, I made a decision!

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Dark again.

Refilled the carer’s & nurses’ nibble boxes.

My knees are bad this morning.

Motionless.

Carer Christopher called. The little scallywag.

First view with Kodak Tim.
The clouds are still different today.

Whoops!

Off to the wet room to empty the catheter pouch out, and tried again on the Throne...
Oh, dear!

Blogging was a slow job; I’m going to have to give up.
Carer Joanne turned up earlier than usual. Always nice to see her. A little laugh available is good!

The Mystery Chest Pains are back now. Suppose it might be something to do with the reluctance of the bowels to produce anything? 

The clouds are even more beautiful now.

I’m blogging away, but now I’m bothered with the card reader reading the cards. I’m fed up! It takes about four tries to read the cards every time I use it. Not good! Gloom and doom!
Later I took another shot of the kitchen sky view.

Going to get something to eat now.
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Still too dark.

The shrunken in the wash new dressing gown was washed twice, and now the pockets are hanging off, and the belt loops are loose, ready to drop off.

Any idiot could work this one out…
But I couldn’t!

Sorry about this…
But, my physical and mental conditions are making things too time-consuming for me to cope with writing a full blog. I’ve been on the computer often for 18 hours on the trot. Stopping for nurses, deliveries, and/or Caregivers calling. Getting back to what and where I was is so confusing. Thus, taking me even more time to catch up and work rings out. I so loved doing them as well. 
I’ve decided to try to do the top part, including Cartoons, Odes, Snippets, etc. Medical appointments, and will add any photographs taken if I have time and the computer lets me. Maybe a description of any Whoopsiedangleplops, if any. (IF? Hahaha!)
I’ve had to make this decision, and making decisions is one of my later-in-life problems. The mind and memory blanks and now the non-epileptic seizures are getting a little more frequent, so much that often don’t mention them as anything worthy of going in the blog. They are diurnal.
My concentration seems to have retrograded this morning; hence, this is written while things are clearer in my head. (How long for? Who Knows.) 

They soon returned. The vacillating, wavering, indecision, hesitancy, uncertainty, hemming and hawing, shilly-shallying, dilly-dallying, concentration-distracting, fretting, worrying, fussing, panicking, and stressing are rife, too often for me now. 
disconcertions, embarrassments, self-loathings, misperceptions, tizzies, misunderstandings, apprehensiveness, topsy-turviness, vagueness, and an invaded brain full of a salmagundi of unwanted moods and modes, including, at times, the odd hallucination, fantasy, and stubborn delusion.
Common sense rarely makes an appearance. But it 
did this morning, making this decision!
I still await the appointment to see a Dementia psychologist. Glaucoma, cataracts and knee operations. But it is the brain that needs help more, I think. I can’t find anyone with the same symptoms to talk with. I believe FND is part of the cause.

After talking to the lady at the audio clinic and finding out that she had FND, I found I had every symptom she mentioned worrying about. The effects are so weird that she said she believes no one believes her – ditto! But it’s not easy to understand or diagnose, let alone treat it. I agree with her about her frustrations. My Doctor gives me the same feelings. It must be hard for anyone to take in.

Glad I got this on record while my head is clearer now. I can get back to being me when my mind abandons me again and wanders off. 

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TTFN, Keep Safe Each ♥

Irredivivous Inchy Saturday 30th March 2024

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‘s mass of flaked-off skin covered my spectacles, chest, and dressing gown, and left a reasonable deposit on the floor and £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner.
kicked off the moment I moved my left leg. But her joint was utilised to help me bend down to clean up my exuviated skin. The pain and efforts resulted in many visits from , , and .

Carer Chris arrived; he did not put the socks on for me because I’d hoped to get the ablutioning done later today – I didn’t.
Well, several of them. The day shot by, and I hadn’t even started this blog until Saturday (today). I flaked out far earlier than I usually do. Gave up, ate, and spent hours trying to get to sleep.
were rampant. It’s as if they knew I’d drifted off. Sleep? Erm…what’s that then? Hehe!
I keep hoping the Doctor’s receptionist will call to arrange for me to see the medics. Then, if I remember, I can explain my problems to them.
This was likely the worst out-of-it day ever. Thank heavens, I took some pictures. I really cannot recall taking many of them.
I have to see the quack about this. Then again, as last time, a long time ago, when I told her of the situation, she seemed all calm and unconcerned. She mentioned that I’m getting older and have many problems, as do so many other elderly patients. It is to be expected. I almost apologised for mentioning my worries. Hahaha! She’s right, all the same.
Here’s the memory promoters via .

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You’ll notice that no night bag was attached.
This is due to my complicated, infected with brain; and, of course, dying. Maybe some effect from . Possibly in amalgamation with the failed operation, cleverly leaving me with double-vision, and some wonderfully uplifting new skills, like walking into door frames, tripping over unseen objects, and the latest, bending down and hitting left-open cupboard door corners when rushing to turn off hot water tap (faucet), that I so regularly leave to run cold. Hang on. That prompted me to check the taps now! No taps were running, and neither the hob nor the oven was left on… I closed the left-open fridge door! I am so glad I wrote this bit now. My food could have decayed! As I am. Hehehe! Where was I? Oh, yes, the urine nocturnal pouch I forgot to put on. Remembered to ask the last Carer to take off my socks last night. 

The Iceland order arrived. 
The only good thing about the order. They had Heinz pickled Ketchup on special offer.  
Food!
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A close-up of Harry Ramsden’s fish supper planned for tonight, well, tomorrow night’s feast.

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It was nowhere near as bad as yesterday’s. But coming around afterwards, it took me a long time to get into a condition where I could tackle checking the blog work. It didn’t help that I had made so many errors.

Fantastic, beautiful cloud shots.

The catheter pouch has filled much slower today. But the colour was much worse.
Maybe a 5 on the NHS chart.
I’ll ask a carer to check it from this photo for me later, which I did. Joanne said it was a class 6!

It’s getting dark now. After another hour or so on this blog, I felt weariness, so I gave up.

Back to the wet room.

Took this photo.
I had a pareidoliaising feast with this one.
I thought, can others see what I do in it.
In the morning, I copied it in CorelDraw and doctored it with a lot more ‘contrast’, and what I could see became more explicit in the resulting picture.
Can anyone see them? The teddy bear, ghost, face, or the animal? I love pareidoliaising.

Was the catheter pouch still a deep colour?

The late evening clouds seemed to be determined to come to the fore. You can imagine, methinks, what I saw at first with my left double-vision eye. Haha!

So weary now. I made a quick meal.
The bland, pale, undercooked Iceland chicken legs, substituted for the not available thighs, tasted like cardboard would, I imagine. The Heinz beans were also unremarkable. The instant potatoes were very nice, especially with the Heinz pickle-flavoured ketchup.

Took this last shot of the sky.
I was pleased with this one.

I managed to find five of them.

I’m yawning now. But once again, would Sweet Morpheous welcome me? NO! Heaven knows how long it took me to nod off. I had a couple of , which jumped me awake, but I soon nodded off again. I did well once I got off, about 6 hours or so. Gleaned by waking up a lot later than usual, at 05:00hrs.

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Fare Thee Well!