Humour

Inchcock: Friday 28th August 2022

/ Inchie / 4 Comments


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I resettled in the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, itch-producing, none-working recliner.

I woke up nearly five hours later, much refreshed at 01:40hrs. The smell from the abandoned meal I left in the kitchen permeated sickeningly throughout the flat. This forced me from the recliner to bag it up several times and into a final waste bag. A twinge of guilt at the state of the surrounding kitchen encouraged me clean things a little. (Not a lot, mind you!)

After my almost ten-minute marathon cleaning-up session, I took these photos of the early-morning view.
While taking them, just once, I saw the planet Jupiter. But the clouds covered it before I got the Lumix out.

I made a brew of Thompson’s Signature tea. Then took it with me back to the computer and got her booted up. Got the photos from yesterday loaded and doctored on CorelDraw to try and make them clearer… at which I failed. (I know it must be hard for you to believe that I failed at anything) Hehehe!
Well, I thought that the Blood Pressure figures would be enough to put me down towards the amber zone.

But, No! The NHS Analyser put me in the Hypertension +1 Red yet again.

Still. come thinking about it: The SIA at 155 was, I thought to be, pretty decent compared to the previous few day’s numbers.

The DIA at 92 let me down with being so high, I suppose.

The Pulse was a little higher and more close to the target.

As for the Body Temperature, that was even closer to the target figure of 35°f than it’s been for weeks. Good, I think. Not sure what this indicates, though.
Got the Thursday blog finished and posted off to WordPress.

Off to the wet room. Trotsky Terence fought back a bit this morning. Constipation Conrad has been mastering things for the last week or so.
The foul odour that accompanied the evacuated product was a cut above normal. The Karki-coloured plum-sized turds disintegrated on contact with the water? The main things were; There was no pain, only a smidge of bleeding, and as mentioned, one Helluva-putrid-pong!

I’d put the kettle on, and I was washing the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket) after taking several PSSU (Persistent, Short, Sharp, Uncomfortable) mode wee-wees. And cause I was in the kitchen, I did not hear the tune that rang, and I got a jump when she came into the kitchen and greeted me. Hahaha!
I asked if Jodie would be kind enough to help me get my socks and fasten the Velcro on the shoes, as I am out this morning at the Riverside Diabetic clinic in Bulwell. She consented. She was yawning away like a good un! Bless her! Jodie did the medications, and we chatted… well, I did; it helped keep her awake as she was on her last legs, methinks.
Medications sorted, she kindly got the socks on my feet for me.

Then it dawned on me she could not do the Velcro, as I was still in my jammie bottoms! So, I nipped to the wet room and got new PPs on, then changed into my trews and back to the recliner, where Jodie fastened the Velcro on the shoes.
I joked about my being more trouble than the ten-year-old. But in the back of my mind, there was embarrassment lurking! Thanked her in the usual fashion, and she was off, back to her bed and, hopefully, some much-needed sleep.

The new DVT Anticoagulant Therapy Record was found by accident. It had fallen underneath the Carers table.

Got some updating done on the computer on this blog, then the getting together all the things needed for today’s trip.
The took a grip as I was readied to go. So many checks and rechecks were carried out, keeping an eye on the time. I did not want to miss the EasyLink minibus again.
This photo on the left, I took earlier and forgot to put it on the blog. It is of the Carer’s table.
I was so glad to avoid a painfully vicious and bruised bloody battle with .
All thanks to helping me with the socks, as well as the Velcro manipulating.

I’ll have to tell you now; to get the embarrassing bit out of the way. I’d made a memory list last night of the things needed for the Riverside visit. Got the things prepared and in pockets or the trolley (I thought).

❶ The driver would not take a tenner and give me £2 change; the money had to be spot-on. So he took all my change again, all the eight-pound coins I had to pay for the lift. This did get to me! All that hassled and Esther getting change for me, and it’s gone in one go! (Fed-Up Grade A style!)

❷ When I got to Bulwell, I found that there was no session today. So, it seems that had to got me again! I was wee’d of with myself, but not as much as usual. (Fed-Up Grade B style!) I decided to just go into Bulwell for a hobble around, feed the duck=ks and birds and inevitably, do some shopping. So, I did!

❸ I lightened up a little when I saw the Mallards were nearby. Got the bird food from the trolley and launched some feed towards the ducks… then went to get the camera from my pocket… which was not in the pocket! Searched the other pockets and in the trolley… No! I’d left it in the flat! Self-hatred and disgust flowed!

❹ Now I could be in bigger trouble. The reminder for the cash card number was in the camera! I wanted to get some treats for the nurses and carers and have a shop in Wilko. The last time when I used my card in Bulwell, the bank would not accept the pinless transactions, and if this happens again, I’m in a pickle cause I can’t remember the number. Fingers crossed!

I fed the birds. I’d have loved to try photographing them, they were all around my feet, and I would have had a good chance of taking some great shots; had I not forgotten to take the Lumix with me! Grrr!
No doubt about it, is giving me bother today!

Visited the Wilko store. I did get some stuff today for a change. Two bottles of the Y-Lang fabric freshener, a roll of sellotape (Needed to stick up reminder notes and medication changes). A bottle of Y-Lang-scented laundry wash.
Having never used this Wilko store before, I just went to the first set of check-outs and lined the queue. I didn’t realise it was a Card-Only and Self-Service setup! I did feel like a demented fool waiting for someone to serve me! Then I realised that I am demented!
A kind lady assistant came to me cause I imagine I may have looked like a lost old soul, and explained things to me. Things got worse, me-in-muddle-wise!
She helped me put them through, and she went back to her post. When I was putting the things in the bag, I realised I had not paid for the sellotape! She must have been watching me and come to my rescue again! I had to swipe the tape through and pay with the card, which I didn’t think it would allow, not for… I can’t remember the exact price, but it was around 50p, I think. Tsk!
Out I went and visited the Vegan store to see if they had any of the imitation belly pork slices I got last week, and I liked the taste. They had two kinds today. Last week I bought four, for just over £2. I asked for two of each this time… expecting a similar charge… £8.20!!! I realised after I’d left that this took all of my remaining money to pay for it. Good job I paid for both ways on the EasyLink bus, or I would have had t walk the four-miles home!
I dropped into the Pound Land shop on the way back to the collection point for the bus. Saw they had some Walnuts and almonds in small packets, so got some of them, also a small bag of seeds to feed the birds en route to the Riverside Complex. I really wish I had paid more attention to the price stickers when I selected these nuts. For when I got to the checkout, the girl said, “That’ll be eight pounds ninety-six, please!” WHAT? I dared not use the card, and the people behind in the queue were getting agitated with waiting! The girl called someone to keep an eye on me, fearing I may do a runner? And pointed to a cash machine where I could get some money. Could I remember my card pin, though?
I went to the machine; I’d never seen such a small one like it before. I asked the lady when she’d finished using it, apologising first for bothering her, which way the card goes in. She stayed with me, bless her, and went through it with me. When it came to putting in the number… believe it or not, a four-digit number came into my mind from somewhere in the ether. A flash prayer, and I put it in, and it worked! The mini-machine only allowed £40 to be withdrawn. I thanked the lady customer so much for helping me and whatever entity it was that gave me the number needed! Can I remember it now? Nope!
I hobbled half the length of the store to join the check-out queue again, so I could pay for the overpriced nuts!

Arrived at the checkout, paid up belatedly and out to feed the ducks again. While chatting with the mallards and pigeons fighting for their share of the seeds, I thought I would be able to have a go at the crossword puzzle book while waiting for the list in the Riverside… I hadn’t taken a pen with me! I had a search around all my pockets and the trolley, nope, no pen!
I hobbled back to Bulwell Market and bought a pack of pens. Returned to the car park entrance at Riverside, got sat down, and enjoyed a long session on the crosswording. (Not that I was not very successful, mind you!)
The minibus arrived spot on time. We took a convoluted route (Roadworks) back to the flats, but at least it didn’t cost any extra this time.
Back at the flats, I asked the driver if he could ask his office to ring Deana about arranging payment by a debit system for me, telling him of the difficulties in getting the right money every time I use the . I didn’t hear his answer. Gave him a choice of drinkies from the trolley bag, in thanks, and struggled up with three bags hanging onto the three-wheeled walker trolley, to the flat.

Hunger being a new desire, I got whatever they were supposed to be vegan slices in the oven. Then wondered if I’d locked the door instead of leaving it open for the carer coming. I went to check…
And found a letter marked ‘Private’ and ‘Urgent’. I’ll open it after having the meal. Which has to be given tags, and this they are: &!
The chops looked like real meat, and smelt it cooking?
I got some BBQ beans heating up.

I got the meal served up on the tray, added a large bap and pot of the short-dated orange yoghourt that Carer Richard found in the fridge and went through the routine; it took a while.
It tasted alright, indeed nice. However, as I was tucking into it, something hard crunched against the already damaged and broken back double molar, and it joined the beans in my mouth! With horrible crude black segments inside of the tooth. It left jagged bits still in the upper gum, sharp and nasty tasting when the tongue ran over it. Next time I go to Bulwell, I shall inform the sellers! The orange yoghourt tasted a little sour to me, but it was on its last sell-by day. So, I’ll throw the other ones away.

I spat out the chomped-chop and checked on the contents before continuing to eat; there was something hard that broke the tooth. But not as I assumed, a bone, more like a chunk of plastic, I thought? When I find it… if I find it, I’ll take it with me to the store. When I was examining it, looking at it with the spy-glass, the at just the wrongs time, it shot out of hand. I think I heard it ping as hit something or other and disappeared into the ether? Carer Richard is good at finding things; if I don’t come across it, I’ll ask Richard to have s look for it for me on Monday. I’ll likely find it by treading on it with my bare feet as I walk around.

The chops were tasty enough, just potentially lethal. Hehehe! Very carefully, I ate the nearly cold remainder with the beans. Not counting the bloodied mouth, loss of the tooth, and pain it caused, I still gave this meal a flavour rating of 7.2/10! On taste only. Not the taste of the rotting tooth, you understand? Hehehe! That was terrible!

I got the pots washed, and the tooth saved. Had a quick search for the plastic that was in the food (If it was plastic), and then bravely opened the ‘Private letter’. No luck, of course. The letter was from the QMC (Queens Medical Centre) regarding my Cataract operation… with a confirmation of an appointment to have it done! The date is on Wednesday, 9th November 2022, at 09:30hrs!
On my first reading of the letter, I fear that between my , , Arithmophobia, , , , , with the help of Glaucoma Gladys, brought on stabbing pains from , thus, severe mode, was automatical engaged. – Not a lot is more disturbing than going into a Panic-Mode. You can’t do anything about it, can’t get to grips with sorting it out, and fear and frustration flourish! With Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna both giving you discomfort, it was a waste of time trying to make sense of the eight pages of instructions that lay in front of me. But of course, I tried. I had to, but knew I should have left it until later when help was available!
These things never fail to arrive at the weekend. When there are no ILCs on site. I have to stew, fret and panic until Monday. Then sometimes, I can’t get in touch with Deana. Fair enough, she is up to the neck and so busy looking after us all.

I loved it when I could do things for myself without bothering them at all. But Vascular Dementia Doreen’s arrival has put an end to that.
I wonder if it’s worth it, carrying on. It’ll only get worse. This thought then sank me down, and I loathe getting into a .

rang out. came in. He looked so tired; bless him. It must have been about 19:20hrs; it must have been his last call. He gave me the medications and listened to my sad pathetic tales of the day. That was good of him. The poor carers are the only people I can tell. I insisted he take his choice of plonk in thanks for his tired time. Reluctantly he took one. Such a nice lad is Jozeph. He took the waste bags with him on his way out.

and my depression combined to ensure that sleep was not an option for many hours, gone 02:00hrs. I got three hours in, though. Before bursting jumpingly awake at 05:00hrs, with a desperate need of the Porcelain Throne… but, did I make it in time? Dang, dang dang, danggg!

Inchcock: Sunday 23rd October 2022

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I couldn’t get to sleep until around 01:30hrs. Then the horrible dream wake-up, and repeat sessions started. At 07:30hrs, I did the usual jolting awake wet again, this time realising what the time was, and had to get up, in case a Morning Carer arrived… Or had they already been and could not get in cause the door had not been unlocked? Not that it would have mattered for many of them, just the ones who refused to press the doorbell and walked in; would they have gone away saying they could not get in? This was my worry; with it being the weekend, I often get outside carers, who may not know about it?
I rose wearily and reluctantly. It’s been bad nights for sleeping for a few days since the Covid-Booster jab. But, at least I got in some broken bits of kip this time. Another thing, how come I can so rarely remember my dreams nowadays? Maybe Doreen Dementia? Although a few days ago, I had terrible repeated dreams that had different outcomes but were based on the same problem scenario. I did recall bits of them. I Made a start on prepping Josie’s Sunday meals.

Got the ingredients in the saucepan, chillie, beef, and vegetables.
Added some flavourings and got the potatoes in a boil. To be sliced into small cubes so that Josie can cope with eating them in the chilli-stew.
I managed to burn my left hand yet again.
I’d not done for a couple of days. Hehe!
Left the pans on low heat settings and made a start on updating the Saturday blog.
A pity, but I got myself into another state of confusion with the folders I was using. Gawd knows how I did it, but it took me over an hour to find where I’d put them!
I was amazed when at 08:40hrs, the Carer arrived. I was in the kitchen, titivating Josie’s cooking. I’d forgotten all about him coming, that or thought he’s been. came in, and we had a natter and laugh after he’d done the medications. I had to tell him about the changes; Omeprazole got to take two a day, mornings, and the Peptac four by 15ml a day, which I’d missed taking cause the lad came so late. Not his fault. No problem, we sorted it… well, he did. Hehe!
The lad left, taking the waste bag with him. Thanked him in the usual fashion. Then I spent I don’t know how long working and making many time-costly errors on this blog.

I got the meal nibbles and cans of plonk on the tray for Josie.
We had a bit of a downpour outside. I was tempted to open the window and shout up at the weather, “Haha! You missed me this time!” I am a right fool but harmless… Except for myself!

Got the dirties pots and things to soak in the sink, and I decorated Josie’s tray.
Cheese, tomatoes, nibbles and the regulation two cans of plonk, and took them to Josie’s door, and I rang the bell.
I answered the inquisitional questions about what the meal was. I acknowledged her mentioning that I was on time this week. (Last week, after nearly three years of cheffing every  Sunday for her, I was late by five minutes for the first time… She may never forget or forgive me! Hahaha!

The rain was easing off when I got back in the flat, and I had the mammoth task of cleaning the trays, saucepans, mixer bowls, cutlery, slow cooker, oven and stovetop.
All that to get told off! Hehehe! Only in fun, mind you… I think!
After scrubbing things up, I got on the computer again. And checked the WordPress comments. I was a smidge worried about my American Family, Lisa-Petal and Billum. Bill was having a trial, I think via his new Doctor, on Methotrexate.

He said he would check the side effects first. I looked it up on Google and was so pleased he is checking things out.
Serious and life-threatening side effects! Oh, dear,  Billum, I’m all with you on making sure before going ahead, mate!

When I got back into the main (other) room, I spotted the belt that died yesterday.
I picked it up and hung it across some kitchen towels to take a photo of it.
Such a young age to die! Hehe!

As I got back on the computer, I thought I heard a noise from behind me. But didn’t notice at that time what had happened. A couple of hours of failed blogging later, I got up to make my first mug of tea, Glengettie. That was when I discovered what the noise was.
The ‘Genuine Imitation Leather’ belt that Amazon sold me three months ago had fallen into the part-used Wee-Wee-Bucket! What an ignominious short life that poor belt has had! Its own buckle almost exploded, snapping the ‘Genuine Imitation Leather’ belt in half, allowing my trousers to fall down. I tried to console it. Hung it up today, took its picture as a sort of memorial, and then the poor thing goes and drowns in a wee-wee bucket!
I think that Amazon ‘Genuine Imitation Leather’ belt and I share a lot of things in its short 3-month life. I shall remember the date and celebrate the Amazon ‘Genuine Imitation Leather’ belt’s short life. That is, of course, if I don’t croak put myself first, but that’s only common sense, innit?
Daft as a brush, ain’t I? Hahaha!

I took a shot of the sunset from the kitchenette window while I was drying the drained pots and pans and putting them in their places.

Very pretty; it all seemed calm and peaceful now the rain had stopped!

I set about utilising the Health Checking tools.

Not a bad result overall?
Very much down on yesterday’s returns and nearly in the Amber Zone on the NHS analyser.

.Even the body temperature was the best since last Tuesday.

The 7-Day HC Graph, copied from the Excel file, was looking promising.

The end results on these graphs from the NHS still leave me a smidgeon confused about how they work out all figures to arrive at their ratings. But I’m not complaining about today. I’m pretty chuffed

Hello, it’s suddenly started to go dark quickly; I’ll take a look.

Oh, it looked reet-grand out there now.
The darkening high sky gave the whole scene a contrast.
The middle bar, sunlit from behind clouds, looked magnificent!

Well, the Evening Carer could call anytime now; I’d better get the Rostis in the oven. I think it might be Carer Carol-Ann coming.

I got the Rostis, Frikadellens and beans served up. I took a photo to show off this culinary effort – But it somehow ended up in the Cara memory, which I can’t access, and not on the SD card? Anyway, it was delightful!

As I was getting the meal served up, Arrived as I was serving up the meal. And kindly helped me tidy up the kitchen mess I’d made dropping stuff, bless her. Got the medications sorted, had a little chinwag, and thanked with the usual offer of a choice of nibbles. Carolynne took the waste bags with her on departing, and I locked the door after her.

I ate & enjoyed the meal, flavour rating given 7.8/10.

Now, the challenge of getting to sleep had to be tackled. After an hour and a half, I put the TV on… Glad I did; for showing was two episodes of Red Dwarf. No nodding off with that program showing, I do so love it, and still, I laugh or smile even when I know what is coming! A tribute to the scriptwriters and actors.

The show finished, and I continued watching some rubbish or other, and yet, still didn’t nod off. This was strange! So I turned off the TV, and if on cue, as I resettled in the darkness- of kicked the damned .
I don’t know how long they kept on for, but it felt like a day or two.
Once they eased off, I fell into a sleep that was unbroken for once. Reckon it lasted for a good four hours, which was welcome. The waking up was not!

Inchcock Today: Saturday 22nd October 2022

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I actually got some sleep last night. I admit, not a lot, but the sleep lasted more than for the last three nights put together – 5-hours!
I woke around 05:30hrs, and after pondering over what day it was and what needed to be tended to… out of the blue grew! I was sure that something favourite suspected, , was my most regularly committed one, of leaving a hot water tap running.

If anyone was taking a video or filming in the flat for the next ten minutes or so. They would have captured enough comedy material to sell a series of comedy sketches to a TV channel! Of course, it’s all just everyday life to me! Here’s how I remember it going:


❶ Flapped about to get free of the recliner, and instead of getting up on my feet, my bum hit the chair, then the carpet. Bump Bumped! But this only delayed me for a minute. Somehow I got up on my pins within seconds? (Or, did I) I soon regained a modicum of control in my mission to check every room.
❷ Even though I could feel and sense the blood coming from Harold’s Haemorrhoids, I had to do these checks; whatever happened!
❸ Into the kitchenette, all the usual checks, windows, oven, stove, microwave, slow cooker and the taps (faucets). All clear there…
❹ Checked the front door, which was locked as it should be. I did unlock it then, as with getting up late, there is a possibility of the Carer arriving early.
❺ Into the wet room – I gave the door frame a shoulder charge as I went in – Luckily though, and for the first time ever, I hit my left shoulder on the door – thus, I avoided waking up or disturbing or damaging the right Covid booster arm, by clouting the right shoulder. Having semi-satisfied , you can never guarantee this fully; I returned to the front room to get my clothes on and get the brain running.
❻ Brian Ricks, Charlie Chaplin and Del Boy to have performed what happened as I got the trousers on, any better than I did. Of course, for them to do it, needed a script, but my performance and facial expression needed no acting. Again though, to be fair, I couldn’t see my face; bewilderment, I imagine, is one word anyone seeing it might happen to use. Here’s the rundown as best as I can explain it:
❼ I got the trews on and knew I would get the ablutions done next and medicate the poor . I quickly pulled the belt to close the buckle – (bearing in mind these belts were only bought 3 or 4 weeks ago from Amazon). The buckle shot off, hitting the computer screen at the other end of the room, and the perfect trouser drop (Comedy-wise) was performed! I later found the buckle pin, three rivets and an unidentified metal ring on the floor.
❽ The belt itself fell limply to the floor, hitting a !

This ended any of my enjoyment of or seeing the funny side of the occasion. And not a soul, other than me, to see the happening. It just doesn’t seem fair to me! I could have had a belated career as a comedy writer! Humph! Mind you, with my blog followers list being so high, I should be content. They both occasionally email me.
To the wet room next. , Teggies, teeth, and then shaving. Kept down to just two mini-ones. Then under the shower. After today’s start with the trousers, somehow, I enjoyed the unrushed showering session greatly. Oh, and the showering, I kid you not, was free!

I fear something of a mind-blank happened here!
When the memory returned, complete with the ‘brain-freeze’ results. I was in the right predicament because I did not know what I was doing on the computer in the slightest. I’d got the Blog open, CorelDraw, the Ode Writer on Word, the calendar and WordHippo all open! Something I never do; is open so many programmes, but there you are… as lost as I am, presumably.
On the memory pad on the side of the computer, it said, “Took photos”

Which I show here on the left. Apart from the fact that they obviously made bad efforts at photography, I can tell you nothing.

Ah, the next line, which may or not be helpful, says, ‘ Inspired?

It also appears that Carer Sam had been, and we had a chat and a laugh. And the Pentac bottle dose-pot, I found wet on the kitchen draining board. So I knew she’s been, I looked up, on the Meridian record folder. I can’t remember washing it, so I assume Sam did it for me? A vague memory of walking her to the front door and wishing well as she took the waste bag with her?
Aha, I vaguely remember doing this line. Took a photo of the flats in town, then zoomed in to take a close-up of the block. No reason why I did this on the pad.

I assume something witty, clever or interesting must have come into my mind? (They do that sometimes, you know – the last time was about 1966).

Found a note written on the wrong pad, and I realised it was for today, but only when I read it: Four visits to the Porcelain Throne in three hours! I bet I bored Carer Sam with that bit of news? Hahaha! Maybe not. Sorry the mind-blank to the memory away, now.

And after doing the checks again, I set about sorting out what it was I was up to with the computer. It must have taken me hours to get sorted… Well, partly understood. Then I got the Friday blog finished and posted off. By then, it was about 14:00hrs!

Pretty confused and not totally content with the mind-blanks increasing. Glad I’ve got the face-to-face with Dr Vindla coming up on Tuesday morning. I shall try to be a bit pushier when telling her the facts of what I’m going through. It will be interesting to see what she says, and I might learn if she is ignoring was worries, as it seems to be to me. But of course, as I am nowadays, I just don’t know.

The was Kylie who arrived, and she got the medications sorted. She was in a hurry, but she kindly read the first part of this blog about the trousers and said it read hilariously and that I should show it to the other Carers. Hehehe! That cheered me up magnificently! She took the bin bag with her as she left, and I clearly remember locking the door.

Oh, better do them, belatedly…

I finally got on with creating this blog – sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But, no! 
. What did I do? I’ll tell yers! I’d made a base template for Sunday, and I started this blog on that one! I even got confused when copying and pasting to the right post – and had to start afresh again! However annoying as this was, I handled it with more aplomb than the earlier cock-ups; because I’d cheered up since Chloe’s visit. I hope I’ve not got the Carers’ names mixed up? Worrying about this is all part of the attention from . The never existed until after Doreen started calling. The Memory-Blanks, either. If, and I’m not saying I expect, the Doctor ignores the signs again, I shall have to swap Doctors. Although, there is nothing to indicate a different quack will be any more interested in listening than Dr Vindla, either. Rambling on again there, sorry!

Well, with all the farcical events today, it is already four hours beyond my usual Shut-Eye time! And I’ve not had anything to eat yet. I shall have to get something quick and get my head down.

Oh, blimey, I’ve just remembered the mushrooms that I put in the slow cooker – around 15 hours ago!

I took the top photo just after putting them in the bowl. I’ll go to photograph what they look like now… back in a bit…
I hope.

The bottom two I’ve just taken.

Shrunk a bit, haven’t they? Hehehe!

I had a job prising the mushrooms out of the porcelain bowl of the slow cooker. The scalded finger will heal. I had to manually pull most of them out, but it wasn’t worth the pain and effort. Still, if I need something leather-like to mend any holes in my shoes, I’m already set up?
So, no mushrooms with the rice tonight, fair enough. I get the meal made mushroomless, of course, and catch up in the morning in the event that I wake up, of course.
TTFN.
Sunday AM, late, very late, updated this blog.
Found this email from Amazon. Checked on the tracker, and it’s not yet dispatched.
Made the most belated meal; BBQ rice (microwaveable), with 7-Mediterranian roasted vegetable sauce heated in the saucepan. A lemon yoghourt. and got settled. No mushrooms, of course!

I was going to have the last two microwave sausages; I even put them on top of the microwave to remind myself. As far as I know, they are still there.

Yet again, Sweet Morpheus was reluctant to permit to nod off. Even putting the TV on didn’t help. It must have been four hours before sleep came – then it was another load of weird dreams with it. Humph!

The Stigma of Dementia stinks!

Inchcock: Monday 19th September 2022

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POLITICAL CARTOON
♥ A THANK YOU TO THE NHS STAFF ♥
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GC sleepAInchcock woke up this morning at 04:25hrs. No change to usual, he wanted, well needed, a weewee! And as usual, by the time he’d struggled with his balance exercises, he also needed to utilise the Porcelain Throne. He seemed all calm compared to how he was during last night’s series of Accifauxpas. He made his way, on his painful right knee, to the wet room, still half asleep. He woke up a little more as he entered through the door:  Inchie walked into the door frame that had protesting violently, ensuring he was soon wide awake. He swore a little, gritted his teeth, and nearly spat in disgust at himself and Cataract Katie. Oh, that was in second-person style?

At least the evacuation was a lot easier and mushier, which I expected after taking the Galpharm by mistake for Co-Codamol last night. No bleeding or mess needed to be cleaned up. It took me a while to stop the shaving cuts from bleeding.
And I decided to get the ablutions done while I was in the wet room. Did you see that? I made a decision!
Then got some Phorpain rubbed into , and of course , no painkillers, cause with the problems these last few days, I’ve taken a few extras, and that is not good.
After all, me being a famously handsome, sought after by women, brave, heroic sort of super-stud and intellectual, it would look bad if I couldn’t take a bit of pain.

I came out of the wet room without any further injuries and made a mug of Thompson’s Signature Blend tea.
The sky’s colouration was so different this morning. Yesterday’s deep blues had been replaced with an odd mix of browns and blacks. Still beautiful all the same. Ah, Mother Nature! Now, take note if you please; It was approx’ 06:00hrs when I used the camera to take this delightful morning view.

I did the sphygmomanometerisationing and luckily: very luckily, wrote down the figures to go on the excel record.
And got the computer on to update and copy the graph, as shown here. Then put the figures onto the NHS DVT blood pressure assessment page on the web.

I was back up to the Hypertension 3 again! I did note that it was last Monday, the last time it was so high. I’m not sure if that means anything connected to my dislike of Sundays?
I then realised I had forgotten to take a photo of the monitor and body temperature thermometer. Which, in turn, got me thinking, where is the camera anyway? Ah… in the kitchen, of course, that’s where I took the photo of the morning’s view… obvious, innit? But, No!
I poddled into the kitchenette to get it. After about 15 minutes of failed searching, I was baffled, to say the least.
Dementia Doreen filtered the thought into my brain: “Did you drop the camera when closing the window?
Oh dearie me, surely not? This was enough to reinstate my Sherlockian investigations. But, still no success.
So, the Hallway next. Nope! The junk room. Nope! The airing cupboard? Nope! Well, the dang thing must be somewhere! Hopefully, not 12 storeys down smashed on the pavement!
Back into the computer room, another time-costing ferret around. But nope. if it was there, I could not find it.
So, as of 17:00hrs, as is now, when I finally got around to doing this blog – the Lumix camera’s location remains a mystery. Hence my often used phrase: Such are the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry, scare and confuse me!.
So, no photographs taken… apart from the morning skies one.

I was not feeling too good now and could have done without Herberts banging away. Still, it didn’t last for so long this time.

I got a call on the mobile and was impressed by the clarity of the new ring tone I’d chosen… But, could I find the mobile? Nope! Now my sanity was being questioned – worryingly by me!
Sherlockian Mode adopted again, and I searched for the mobile; it had to be in this room, or I’d never have heard it. That helped, not having to search the whole flat again.
Finding, after a lengthy hunt around, that it was in the coat hanging on the back of the chair I was sitting in at the computer created a smidgeon of ‘Feeling-Stupid’ in me. It was from Jenny, so I rang her back.
She asked if I would like some tomatoes, I thanked her, and she said she’d bring them up later and drop them at the door after ringing the bell. ♥

I’ve come across a single word on one line in the scribble memory pad; it say’s ‘Paper’? I wish I knew what it meant. Tsk!

Jane and Pete posing for me – 2018

Sister Jane called on the landline to see if I was watching the Queen’s funeral. I ended up feeling so guilty when I said no. Two sentences from her stern voice, and I put the TV on to ease my guilt! Hehehe! We had a nice chinwag for a while, but she got a call from hubby Pete, and she rang off.
Being as I’ve not taken any photos for hours and hours, mainly because I can’t without a camera – here is a photo I took earlier of Jane & Pete’s visit, behind the flats. August 2018, I believe.

At long last, I got the Sunday blog updated and as I was saving it ready to do a final grammar check. I got the shakes from i.e., , which are far more damaging than Shaking Shaun, cause they last so much longer each time, particularly when on the computer, as was the case here.
The hand shot the mousse all over the screen. I had no idea what buttons I’d hit, but the whole blog disappeared. No longer in Post listings! I don’t know how I managed to avoid bursting into tears; it was a close thing, though. After trying various things and confirming it was not in the unpublished or published lists, my heart sank. All those lost hours, gone like a puff of smoke! I was out of ideas; surely, if I’d deleted it, WordPress would have asked me for confirmation? I turned off the computer, no longer interested; I was in despair, grief and misery.

Walked into the doorframe, cuts shaving, the camera lost, and now, the blog lost.
As I felt myself sinking into a Dracula Depression, from somewhere deep within, I thought – hang-on mush, did you catch the delete button? So, without much hope, I got the computer back on and checked – There it was in the deleted file! I do believe I gave out a Whoop! Cause started his banging away, he must have heard me?

Thinking what a genius I am, I published the blog hastily and copied the web address to send by email to my multitude of followers, oh, yes, both of them! But: The address came up with ‘3-trashed’ in the title?
I remembered to restore the deleted post, but am not sure if it got through? No likes of messages have come through on it? Depression falls again!

The Evening Carer is due anytime now; I’ll get something to eat then.
Jodie rang and entered. The first thing she said was, “Oh, you’re topless!” I covered my man breasts with my hands, laughed and said, “Oh, sorry!” I put a jacket on straight away. Jodie did the medications, and we had a minute or two of nattering and laughing. I gave her Shepherd’s Pie meal that I forgot to give to Josie, and she seemed pleased with that. She took the waste bag with her on the way out. I locked the door, and I went into the wet room for a quick wash and do the .
: I found the Lumix Camera!!! It was in with the PPs in the bag… How and why I should put it there in the first place; will have to remain a secret with Dementia Doreen forever!

Boy, I was tickled-pink at finding it! Following making a meal, which I rated for Taste-Rating at 6/10. Mushrooms with a drop of liquid smoke and vinegar added while cooking (not bad!), veggie sausages (tasty!), sliced tomatoes (tangy), and some of the terribly tasteless McCain crinkle-cut microwave chips. (I’ll use up what I have left but not get these again). A pot of Del Monte mandarins in orange jelly, it was so bitter, irony-flavoured, my first and last time I try these as well.

.Washed the pots, and for the rest of the night, I kept nipping out to the kitchen to take shots of the sun setting, and I was relatively pleased with some of the shots.

My body and mind told me to get to sleep, and Sweet Morpheus refused the request! But this time, it didn’t matter so much; Being overjoyed but felt stupid for losing it and over the moon at finding the Lumix. I couldn’t stop myself from repeatedly getting up and taking the changing photos of the evening view from the kitchenette window.
Rather, unfortunately, I’d gone into a smug mode over finding the Lumix and taking a few decent shots with it. After taking the last picture, I got a , against the cabinet door corner as I moved away from the window.
Naturally, I just light-heartedly laughed it off… No, no swearing, cursing, spitting, moaning, self-disgust, or growling under my breath.

I spent far too long fling the flat checks tonight. Many things had to be checked several times to convince myself that they were done right; Both sink taps were well checked, numerically. And the oven not being left on checks were done twice. Tsk!

But, Sweet Morpheus denied my dropping off to sleep. Then the Thought Storms arrived, and they were so bad this time. But, a sort of salvation saved me from the anguish, worries and fears: Colin cramps attacked, and this took away my concerns over the Thought Storms – and replaced them with agony! Both hands, left-hand fingers, and the left leg took the brunt of his onslaught. It’s still sore now, nine hours later. The right knee feels a bit delicate too. Haha!

Huh! Who needs sleep?

Inchcock: Inchie vs Alto Conflict

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

Last night, while shaving, Alto-Ego returned!


Alto: Aye up, Inchie!.

Inchie: What are you doing back?.

Alto: I never left, yer burke…

Inchie: No need to embarrass like this, is there?.
While I’m shaving and cleaning up the lesion?

Alto: Exactly, I like a laugh occasionally!

Inchie: Laugh at what?.

Alto: Yer tiddly pinkie, Hahaha!.

Inchie: At least I’ve got one, yo ain’t!

Alto: I’m you, ain’t I? Your mentor, guide and mental crippler! And I’ve not got a physical body to be ashamed of like you have!

Inchie: A?

Alto: Gawd, your thick!

Inchie: Well, yer…

Alto: This is why I’ve not been getting at you lately, Turd-face…, yer just a short-arsed overweight whimp, with no residence to my poking fun at you! It’s hardly worth my while trying to make you miserable & depressed; you’ve been this way for months now of your own volition! Is it any wonder I’m losing interest in yer? I’m only here now cause I’d done such a good job in pissing Putin off! This could mean a promotion for me, you know?

Inchie: Promotion? I like the sound of that. Does this mean you’ll get another human to hassle and leave me alone?

Alto: Nae, Dumbo, your memory is gerrin’ worserer! I’ve told yer before, the Alto-Ego Management, insist we stay with any human allotted to us until we get victory…

Inchie: Victory?

Alto: If you stop interrupting me, Brain-dead, I was going to tell yer, yet again; The only way I free myself of you is the Humans death, Confirmed by an appropriate medical institution of utter insanity, or nine attempts at suicide all fail. That, Knob-Rot, is the only escape from you.

Inchie: Erm… I’ve been trying to part company with you, and now you say you’d like to part company with me… am I right?

Alto: Oh, Inchy, my stupidest ever human; You’re just too thick and ignorant to understand the simplest things, and you make a mess off, mistakes and blunders of everything you try to do, don’t you? But that really is not always your fault…

Inchie: Oh, there’s a change in tone Alto?…

Alto: Your willful pig-ignorance, despondency, dispiritedness, defeatism, and docility, sometimes bring out a rare quality in me. Seeing you struggle medically is a laugh for me. The more I mock and depress you, the nearer your suicide gets. I’ve arranged for all the ailments, including Cataract Katey and Dementia Doreen, to have free reign of your body and mind. Soon it will be freedom for me! Your dubiety and incertitude are making you, more than ever, reliant upon me, your Alto-Ego. Thus you are becoming more and more subservient and servile to me… The first Alto-Ego to dent Putin’s determination! The Alto of Altos…

Inchie: Oh! So why did you call at all?

Alto: In a desperate bid to cause you misery. depression, and encourage you to commit suicide, Bozo!

Inchie: Well, you’ve always tried doing that in the past?

Alto: Well, today, I’m gifting you with an accident that will involve a plaster-cast and Hospitalisation…

Inchie: That’s nice…

Alto: What?

Inchie: Well, my depression does not come from physical pain but from the mental stress of living. I admit you did a good job with installing Dementia Doreen, but she’s not taken over completely yet. So don’t fret… I’ll not top myself yet… I’ve never felt better for months than I do at this very minute. What do you think of that?

Alto: Shit!

Tuesday 13th September 2022: Inchcock Today

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON
WHAT HAVE WE DONE?
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The normal nodding off and waking up in a semi-panic, what felt like every few minutes, went on for hours. Eventually, I woke up in a rather desperate and sudden need of a wee-wee!
I fumbled about to get to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in time... Embarrassment and self-hatred all at the same time… I failed to make it! The main reason was the discomfiting . Which came on before I’d got the PPs down… so that was a good thing. Even better was the way with which the Comfort pants contained the leaking liquid. Had I got the PP’s down before it came, I would have been in an even bigger mess! I clasped the lower regions and somehow got to the wet room with the wooden walking stick, and I used the WC. Despite the bladder letting me down again, I found some appreciation in how the PPs coped with it. I was pleased that I changed to these Depend pants now, more than ever. While cleaning things after taking the tinkle and refreshing my body, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. As I sat, alternating between trying to do the crossword puzzle and counting the cracks on the ceiling, as I awaited the cement inside to move, I realised how late it was! 06:45hrs!
Bit of panic then. I’d got s Sainsbury order coming this morning, twixt 06:00 > 10:00hrs, so I may miss it if I’m stuck sat on the Throne when it comes!
I foolishly, mayhaps, tried to force things along with all my might. Once it did start to move, it was swiftly over but so painful. And poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids were bleeding badly, externally and internally. However, now having some Germoloid to hand, I could clean things up again and ease the stinging. Which I hastily did.
I tried the water taps again on the sink to see if the promised repair would provide me with hot water. Nope, just the tepidness once again.

By the time I’d sorted, washed and got dressed, leaving the door open in case the intercom rang, Richard, came in. He was in a rush again, but that did not stop the lad when he heard my tale of the hot water from calling the maintenance to get someone out yet again to look at it. Bless him.
Just before he left, the intercom rang, and I asked him if he wanted to wait to get the treats that were on the order. No, he had to go, up to the neck in it. Fair enough. Tanked him as the delivery was arriving.
I got the goods checked and returned some podded peas that had a sell by today tag on them. The brown sourdough loaf looked tasty – not to make sure there are no sliced fingers. Hehe!

The flowers for the wardens were what I’d call rustic yellow and red. Got some strawberries for them and chocolates, only need to add some cans of plonk. I rang Deana, but no answer; it might be a little early yet? Burgers for Richard.

Which I did.
Glad they had the Germoloids in stock. They didn’t have any of the Parmentier potatoes, Huh! I got stuff stored away, and I intended to get the Health Checks sorted out. Tried calling Deana again to tell her the nibbles had arrived, no reply.
Made my first brew of the day, a mug of Thompson’s Punjana. I forgot about doing the blood pressure and called Warden Julie, and I told her of the goodies ready to collect. Then, I got on the computer to update and post the Monday blog. The tea had gone cold. So I went to the kitchen to make another mashing.
In came Julie, quickly followed by Deana. I missed out on a natter cause they were talking between themselves, and I could not hear what about. Spit! I think I told them about the hot water.

Was busy making something mechanical, noisily.

It seems the hot water problem the Nottingham City Homes Maintenance could not solve has been passed on to a company called T&S.
Not that this chap could solve it for sure.
When I asked him what the problem was, he was honest enough to tell me he had no idea. all the tests he carried out showed it should be working properly. The only thing he’d changed was the thermostat, and he turned it up a smidgeon.
Well, three hours later, the water was indeed hotter. Nothing like as hot as it used to be, though, but I should be able to have a shave and shower in the morning.

What happened to the day? Nowt was done much, evening carer due shortly. Meal To get done. I’m going to make a chilli stew for myself. And will do my best not to cut any parts of my anatomy, slicing the sourdough bread to dip into the food. Hehe! I’ll it the meal prepared then… Oh, I’ve not done the Blood Pressure yet. I imagine it will be the opposite of yesterday’s panicking high? It does that a lot, up and downing.

Ah, much betterer indeed.
In fact, overall, one of the best for ages, methinks? ‘
I bet when I do the BP Graph site, it will be down low in the amber zone.

There, what did I tell yer? Two extremes in two days.
Ah, well, food preparation time for me.
I can’t help but think I’ve missed or forgotten something? Mmm!


ANOTHER INCHCOCK GASTRONOMIC DISASTER! What was I thinking about? How can even I; make so many cock-ups making just one meal?
Easily seems to be the answer! The good bit first, I didn’t cut any fingers slicing the sourdough bread… fair enough, I did drop the loaf, and did Back-Pain-Brenda no good at all, bending down to clear up the crumbs; then knocked the knife off of the counter. But it missed me. just blunted the tip of the knife.
It took me that long to clear up the crumbs; I lost more time trying to straighten the tip of the knife than I had to reheat the stew in the microwave.

The first spoonful indicated one of the reasons for the almost uneatable flavour I’d conjured up. (I looked in the waste bin later and realised this was true). I’d added a can of baked beans to the chilli stew, but think I put curry-flavoured beans in the pot, not plain ones!
I ate some of it, all the sourdough brown bread that was nice. I was soon back in the kitchen, putting the ¾s of the meal I’d not eaten into food bags to go to the chute in the black bags.
Where more causes of the calamity were discovered. The pot of BBQ seasoning I added was actually basil: the pot was still out on the top. Alongside it should have been a bottle of BBQ sauce from which I added a sludge or two to the meal… no, but there was a bottle of balsamic vinegar?
I shudder to give the taste rating any score at all it would have had to be a minus score. However, the sourdough bread was delightfully tasty. 1.2/10.

I washed the pots in the nearly hot water from the tap, and I got a packet of seaweed crisps to nibble and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, and went into a gloriously dream-filled sleep.

Jodie came in, not ringing the doorbell again. She hovered over my prostrate but crumpled adipocerous bellied body, giving out a loud but cheerful “How are you, okay?” I’m not sure if I answered or not! The visit was a blur, really.

I had planned to get up later and make a start on updating this blog… I meant later in the night. But I drifted off again, and I got another five hours of sleep in!
Waking at 03:35hrs, in need of a wee-wee.

Sunday 4th September 2020

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON OF THE DAY

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ODE OF THE DAY

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Got my head down around 02:00hrs and woke up at 07:05hrs. So, a good five hours that I assumed and felt were straight through, no sudden wakings etc., pleased with that.
I was in need of a wee-wee within minutes of stirring, I limped over to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). I was almost going to take a photo of it… Why? I’ll tell yers; How anyone could fill an overnight wee-wee bucket the size of mine in five hours… Well, it’s surely impossible. Not for me.

And the other thing about it is I could not recall taking one, let alone how many it must have taken to fill the bucket three-quarters full. How did I have the wherewithal to hold that much water? Was I drinking in my sleep as well? The bottle of spring water was still nearly full. Erm?
Made up some waste bags, and I made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana. And very nice it was too!
I got the Health Checks done and got the photos onto CorelDraw for resizing. I found one that was another mystery of  Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, ghosts, or the Fatah Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind?
I did the Blood Pressure, and this photo was on the SD card in the Lumix camera when I went to get the photograph.
It appears that I must have been up and about somnambulating and eating when I thought I was sleeping peacefully.
I must remember to mention this to the Doctor on Tuesday’s appointment. It’ll be something else for her to ignore if nothing else.
A Sherlock Holmesian-like close investigation of the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner; revealed some seeds from the cob on the picture – Verdict? Guilty! However, I shall be pleading Not Guilty by reason of insanity. I can’t it not failing. Hehe!

Back to the Boot’s sphygmomanometerisationing results.
SYS 160, DIA 75, PULSE 74 bpm, Body Temperature a decent 33.2°f.
When I put the returning figures into the NHS assessment site…
Things have gone up into the Red area quite a bit. Hopefully a one-off.

Jozeph arrived. Got me sorted with the medications. Remembered to ask if I needed an extra painkiller or Peptac, which I did. Forced a can of vodka onto him in thanks. He took the bags to the chute on his way out.

Around about 09:30hrs, I went on CorelDrawing to get some tabs made up. A series of mistakes, mostly due to either the Neurotransmitter’s failing or .
It might have been less time demanding and bother to Duodenal Donald if I had not made so many errors in making the original tabs needed. If anything was do-wrongable, it did!

Was on from today. None of them was proper concert length, Many short sorts of skits of tap-tapping with the odd clunk here as there. Although in the late afternoon, he got very inventive, and he gave me a thud-clung followed by a whining noise, it made a nice change.

Got Josie’s nosh prepped, all the veg in, and a tin of Chilli-Con-Carnie to add later on.
I put some extra onions in this time. Kept tasting it as it progressed until I thought it was good enough for Josie. Turned it off to warm later.

Aha! The nail cutters and Pistachio nuts had arrived.
Got them unpacked, cutters in the draw, and the bag of Pistachio kernels in a screw lid plastic container.

Well, not all of them. Hehehe!
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♫ Food Glorious Food ♫, Well, for Josie. Time to get her meal and treats ready.
Got the tray filled up. A large bowl of chilli-con-carne, another serving in a food container for her tomorrow. A can of Lamcello Superior Perry, 7% proof. Some English fava beans dried ready to nibble. A pack of Leicester mini-cheddars, separate tomatoes red & yellow, cheese rounds, a bar of Yorkie Chocolate, and a few strawberry jam chocolate-covered marshmallows. That should be enough for her.
She seemed content with it anyway when I delivered it to her door.

Well, that session has got to be one of the longest ever… but not as long as last week’s nearly an-hour session.
Constipation Conrad had taken over control this afternoon.
The crossword puzzling didn’t go well. It was too painful to concentrate. Last week’s 45 cracks in the ceiling had grown to 49 now… assuming I didn’t fall asleep and miss any. Haha!
After the true agony of forcing the submarine-sized torpedo out, and I stood up to nervously check on Harold’s Haemorrhoids, I nearly passed out, proper dizzy. I used ordinary Germolene on the rear end, but it’s not effective, just better than nothing – mind you, I’d better check on the reserves of that as well.

Trust this to happen when I’ve run out of Germoloid Cream and ointment. Should hopefully have some delivered on Monday. If Sainsbury’s doesn’t substitute it with shoe polish or a toothbrush, that is. As uncomfortable as I’ve been in a long while. Oh, please come early in the morning, Mr Sainsbury driver… but with the Germoloid Cream and or ointment, at all costs. PLEASE!

The evening Carer came in without ringing the buzzer, and with it getting darker now, I left the light off and looked right close up so I can see things easier. The gal came in a shouted out a greeting.  I nearly had a heart attack! Gawed struth!
We had a laugh over it (I’m not sure why?) and when she gave me the medications, had a quick natter.

Hello, another tune from him above. Sounded like heavy chairs being moved, followed by a few plopping noises. He’s getting very varied today with orchestrations of noise, A Master he is!

Going to get some nosh sorted out for myself now.
The massive chips (fries) were gorgeous. I had to cook them ten minutes longer in the oven than the instructions said to get them crispy, but hey-ho, it worked!
The pretend fish in BBQ sauce (canned) is the last tin; Humph! was lovely. The tomatoes were fine. Far too many chips on the plate… but I ate them all. Gannet! A worthy taste rating of 8/10 was given.

Nodded off in the chair. To be woken up when the cheery , I think it was Carer Cheeky Charley, but not 100% sure. I was half-asleep at the time. I think I gave her a nail-cutter as she left and a drink from the fridge. She took a waste bag as she left for me. This may not be accurate cause the memory was not good when I wrote this, and the notepad reminders were blank?

I went to wash the pots somewhat belatedly. I took these two Lumix photographs from the kitchen window, well, in fact, I took four of the sky, but only this one was usable. I tried different settings to no avail; all too dark. I’d chosen night options, but it wouldn’t come any lighter.
I then took four pictures of the main view. Again only got this one; the others in any setting were just too dark to use.
When I put these on in the morning, I could have cried at how pathetic they came out. (Bottom lip protruding!)

Stripped and washed, but would not shave or shower. Too risky, a few mild routines and some vicious attacks nearly had me over as I stood at the sink. I dare not risk shaving.

Got the jammies on and carefully made my way to check things before getting my head down. It was another good ten minutes before I got down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner.
I put the TV on, which is always a good aid to nodding off. But the whittling in the brain about had I forgotten something returned,  and I had no option but to get up and check the balcony door was shut – it wasn’t, so I missed that one earlier, which did my worryings no good!
I settled down again, and I was soon back with sweet Morpheus. Just one more check on the stove and kitchen taps (faucets).

Shot awake yet again, convinced I had left the tap running in the bathroom!
I may have panicked a smidgeon and given my little left toe a drubbing right on the corner of the sock glide.

After this, sleep was not an option.

Saturday 3rd September 2022

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

THE WANDERER? HIS BRAIN

TODAY’S POLITICAL CARTOON
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DIARY

01:00hrs: Started making the template and graphics to make this blog with. galore were made over the next two hours.
was in full Incapacitating-Mode! Using her mighty Memory-Muddling skills.
were guaranteed by the danged , in turn, brought on by Pete. Some bad mistakes and damage were made, needing a lot of putting right, by just two most ill-timed attacks from . How I managed to clear the fault caused in Word (Being used for the Ode) and get it working again was nothing short of a miracle. For I had no idea what I was doing. Phew!

Around 05:00hrs, I went to put the kettle on to brew my first mug of Glengettie tea. Then decided to get them sorted out.
Another pleasant set of return figures this Saturday.
SYS 138, DIA 68. The Pulse, I could not read, with these eyes, 70-something I think it was.
Whereinsoever, the resulting graph showed me well down into the Amber, yet again. I’m doing well on these lately, am I not?
Just in case I misread some of the numbers on the terrible smudgy photo I took of the still working Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China
Put the kettle on, and I needed to go off to the wet room again.
Another tough one to get moving, keep moving, then tough to stop moving – though to stop; because the came in. The smell in the wet room was crude and chronic; well, it would be. Everything was so freshly delivered, Hahaha!
I got finished, bleeding again from the rear end. Three times in a row now. I sprayed some freshener around the room so it didn’t filter into where Carer Sam was. She got the medications sorted and given. a mini-natter gave her chocolate from the fridge as a thank you, and she took the waste bag with her to the chute for me. Thanks, Sam.

On with the blogging again.WordPress is not letting me into the comments drop-down list. So I had to get at in a roundabout way through the My Site link. That’s not working either. So, had to go on the comments side link. Not ideal with my eyesight; so easy to misread them or get the wrong one… !

But Mr Fatigue visited, so I had to stop and try to catch up with some Sweet Morpheus time. But guess what convinced me to do so?

: for an hour or so. Then I got back onto the computer and swiftly nodded off again.
Not a snooze this time, but fully-blown snoring and waking myself up with a jerk repeatedly session. how the hell I stayed on the little swivel chair? Especially with the rampant being the cause of so many jump-awake episodes!
I feared I might have missed the Amazon delivery. (Only some socks). So thought I’d better check on the intercom – it was showing 8 missed calls! Which convinced me I must have missed him.
I went to look out of the door in case he might have left them there, but no.

I made an early meal and, at last, created a decent tasting one. I cooked some vegetables in the oven and made some gravy with them. Put them in a plastic tray. And made up[ some instant potatoes, Inchcock style: Liquid salt, mock-bacon bits, and cheese all bashed up together. Put the tray in the microwave oven for 20 seconds. Added some of my favourite smoked BBQ sauce, and I tucked into it. Made a little too much mash but still ate it all slowly! Flavour Rating: 7.8/10! Washed what few things needed it, had a wee-wee, belched and savoured the flavour that came up with the wind. Hehehe!

NokiaI got back to the computer, amazingly still tired, and got a call on my Nokia 9 Pureview Mobile, with its Android (Pie) updatability, Corning Gorilla Glass 5, Octa-Core Gold CPU, 4K@30fps, 1080p@30fps, HDR video, USB Type-C 3.1, %x12 MP. 28mm Camera, Bluetooth, A-GPS, Fingerprint (under display, optical), accelerometer, gyro, proximity, compass, barometer, Li-Po 3320 mAh, non-removable, fast charging 18W, Quick Charge 3.0, USB Power Delivery. Fast wireless charging 10W – Qi Battery.

It was Jenny calling to tell me she had left some tomatoes for me outside the door. She was suffering from back pain again. So I said thank you for the tomatoes, and I will drop some painkillers off for her. I hastened down with some good pain-relief tablets and handed them to her. A lovely pair, Jenny and Frank. I do hope they can ease her suffering a little. ♥

Back down and put the Jenny donated tomatoes in a cool cupboard. By gum, they look good.

Back onto the computer. Straight away, I was visited by none other than .
Despite her best attentions, I fell asleep again! Another hour lost. Waking up with the usual jump and in need of a wee-wee, I found the bucket rather full.
So, I took the bucket to be emptied and sanitised. And to use the Porcelain for passing the wee-wee.
I must have been within 3-ft of the intercom when it flashed.
It was the Amazon man with the socks. He was in and up in no time, a smile on his face, too!
So I offered him a choice of treats in thanks; from the radiator top.
He opted for the Tango orange drink.

Sarah arrived. In a good mood tonight. As she came in, she noticed my Tork hanging on the pegs in the hallway. She whipped out her mobile and took a selfie while wearing the hat. Hahaha! Got the tablets sorted, still didn’t remind me of I needed any Peptac or Pain Gelling. Then again, only Carer Richard asks that. Nice gal, Sam (If I’ve got the right name?) She took the waste bags with her as she left. ♥

Finally, I got back on the computer. WordPress had not forwarded the answers to the comments that I made yesterday. More time lost.
I went to see if any sunsetting photos could be seen from the kitchenette window. I hadn’t realised how time had passed; it was dark and dank out there.

Photographicalisation No. 1:
Not one that would normally get posted here on the Inchcock Today blog. Wasn’t it awful!
Photographicalisation No. 1: Ah, yes, that’s a bit betterer. There were no , or shakes as far I could tell, that could be blamed for the first disaster of a picture? Not that the second one is a very good mind.

I visited the WordPress Reader section next: it let me get into it this time.
Got this blog finished and posted off.

Friday 2nd September 2022

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

CARTOON OF THE DAY
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Off to the wet room, where it was almost a pleasure to evacuate myself. Well, apart. I made a largely unwanted order with J Sainsbury’s later when I got back from the Diabetes session – mainly to order two tubes of Germoloid Cream. They didn’t have any of the ointment in stock; for next Monday. Shame! I got on with having a wash and getting changed into new PPs, socks, trews and the jacket with loads of pockets. I cunningly put the money, coins on the left, and notes in the right-hand side pockets. Thinking, they would be easier to get to when paying for the transport. Hearing-aid batteries, camera, keys and tissues into the lower side pockets. Got the shoes on with some difficulty – although not a patch of the problems I had getting the socks on. Then the glasses into the trolley-walker basket, with pen and notepad, oh, and the Course booklet.

It took me a while getting out of the flat due to the I got to the door, trolley ready to be removed, and went back inside for endless checks. ① Are the taps all turned off? ② Did I leave the oven on? ③ Have I closed the fridge and freezer doors properly? ④ Did I close the balcony door? No doubt there were other things I checked on. Tsk!

Eventually, I got out, locked the door and down into the main ground floor lobby. I’d spent longer than I meant to with the double-checking, and it was 10:15 already. So I got myself outside so that the minibus driver could see me easily enough waiting. He couldn’t miss my bulk. Hehe!
I took these two photos from outside the foyer. Then had a chinwag with the caretaker while outside. I’d not seen or spoken with them for over a year. I thought they might have come to see me and asked if things were okay, with me not getting out much… but no. While we were nattering, the CT4N bus arrived.

Two drivers in it today. That meant I could talk to the one in the back with me. I enjoyed that a lot. A good laugh. They took the route that I would have taken, not the long roundabout route of last time. And this meant I was charged the proper rate, not overcharged as before. Hope these lads come next time. Hehehe!
They dropped me off in the Riverside Carpark, and I remembered the way to get into the reception area.
I sat next to a chap who was a Carer. We swapped tales, and I really enjoyed that gossiping session, too!
I followed his lead; up in the lift, and he found which room we were using. It was almost full of people, and only one spare chair available. I apologised to everyone as I had to squash the three-wheeler in beside me. Causing a few tuts and shuffling of people’s chairs to let me in. I felt a smidge guilty! Tsk!

It was far easier than last week but still far from perfect for hearing what was being said and seeing the thingamajig, hoojamaflip, on the wall with course details. Oh, what-d’you-call-it? Ah, projector screen! But did take part this time, I asked four questions over the session, and I got one of two answers each time. “We’ll be discussing that at a later session”, or “Yes, but it is too early yet to bring this into the discussion.
As we were about to wrap things up, and the room emptied in a hurry, the chap next to me told me my phone was ringing. I could not see who had phoned me and was using the magnifying glass to find out but was moved out to make room for the next whatever who had hired the room could move in.
As I left the room, the Community Transport driver was getting out of the lift and was not happy at being kept waiting. She had other people waiting to be picked up, she said. What could I do? No clock in the meeting room, and I could not see the time on the mobile. And didn’t realise the time. So, I cringed and apologised. A good job this lady didn’t pick up cause she took the elongated route back to the flat. Which would have cost me double what I was charged. Phew!

Dropped me off outside the main doors, and I thanked her muchly and got inside the foyer. A got the Lumix camera out of my pocket and started taking a few photographs on the way.

Not a soul in sight. It had had a facelift recently, I reckon. There was a large beetle-like, brown & yellow creature on the pot plant leaves, and I thought I’d try to get a close-up shot of it. As I neared it with the camera, I realised it couldn’t have been a beetle, the flipping thing flew away, it didn’t half make me jump. Hehehe! I very nearly dropped the camera!
Still hadn’t seen anyone to pester and gossip with. But I’m not complaining; I’ve got a good few chatterings in today, a worthwhile trip!

Not looking forward to the Doctor’s visit on Tuesday at all. I’ve just got a feeling about it in the gut.
Stay tuned in to find out what went wrong. For something will, EQ has never been wrong yet. Although I’d welcome it if he was this time.
The notice board that I have not read in years was about to be perused… Suddenly the rear end spurted wind, and I was certain an involuntary evacuation was on its way!
I hastened to the lift, and it seem to take 15 minutes to arrive… it was probably one minute, if that… but felt so much longer as I gripped my cheeks and prayed I could make it up to the flats Porcelain Throne room in time… I was in such a panic; I can’t recall going up in the lift. My next memory was sitting on the Throne and sighing so loud with relief that I did make it in time, not a lot in it, mind. Is my luck changing? Mmm?

This shot of the Chestnut Way front car park outside Woodthorpe Court showed black, white and grey vehicles, and only one red one today.

The Nottingham City Homes letter about the Winwood Courts flats security breaches was given the magnifying glass treatment.

The evening carer is due anytime now. The day’s gone quickly; so glad I stayed up to start this blog template last night, or it wouldn’t have gotten done at all. Another bit of luck, mayhap? Now, this can’t be right…

I’d better get something to eat sorted out, then. Last, of the thin fries, bean pastie, and tomatoes, that’ll do. Heartbeat just starting, so I can have 15 minutes watching it before adding the pastie to the chips in the oven. It’s all planned here, you know, Hehehe!
Of course, it didn’t work out like that.

Jozeph arrived. I’ve not seen him for a while. We managed a few words of natter, but the lad had to rush off; he’d got some extra calls to do.

Back to the cooking. Took this photo of the odd-looking weather with the light on the ground but dark in the sky view.

Finally, I got the nosh sorted out and served on the tray.

It didn’t look very appetizing, it didn’t taste very good either, and left me with tummy aches. Thankfully that was the last of the terrible thin fries.
Flavour-Rating: 5.5/10.

Kept waking up repeatedly. around 01:00hrs, I gave up and got up and on with updating this blog.

Friday 26th August 2022

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

Opening Political Cartoon
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I woke up and was on my way to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) within 30-seconds of stirring back into ersatz life! With managing to almost fall out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner last night. I don’t know how I didn’t lose contact with the Amazon-bought, uncomfortable, plastic-peeling-off-of swivel chair! Hahaha! Yes, I’d fallen asleep at the computer!

The wee-wee was of the variety of UTD (Unwilling-Trickling-Dribbling) and CM (Cessational-Micturitional dribbling). The after-dribble after the initial wee-wee, possibly tool three times longer!
As I turned back with the bucket to be emptied held in my hands, I stubbed my toe against the ottoman! My reaction to saving the bucket from being dropped; was nothing short of a miracle. I dropped it, but not from a great height, and the liquid stayed in the bucket. Naturally, as the pain shot up the leg to the brain, I merely laughed it off. No cursing whatsoever.

I got the bucket emptied, sanitised and disinfected, and got on with the task of sphygmomanometerisationing.
I was jolly-well pleased with the Blood

Pressure figures. I put them in the medical site’s programme and returned this descriptive graph. I remembered that the Riverside Diabetes meeting for today had been cancelled as I was doing the readings.
I added my graphics to it in the name of entertainment… and because I love making them for a bit of fun.
After four days in the red zone, one day nearly of-off the graph: Things seem much improved today. Back in the amber area, that’s where I like it to be as well. Although two years ago, I had one day in the green Zone. Yes! That’s been my target ever since! If I live long enough, I might achieve this.

Aha! My spirits rose enormously! This morning’s Carer was Carol-Anne! Not seen her for months, many months. I thought she’d left to be honest.
What a precious gal. I had to give her a kiss and cuddle on her arrival. Carole didn’t mind, bless her. She spoke of the extra hour on Fridays, not having been since it was so-called arranged. I explained: It was initially for the Carer to do the laundry. But sometimes the laundry would come back not dried, and the clothing wrinkly. Also, I had not had socks, bobble hats, and shirts returned. Conversely, I have made a hand towel, tea towel, and pair of ladies’ knickers. I’m still paying for the hour, even though I’m paying Esther to do the laundry. She does a good job, and Esther hangs up the trews and shirts for me. Also as well as and besides that, she sews missing buttons on for me. Carol and I had an excellent nattering session, mostly me bemoaning my plight with the Diabetes, PN and Doctors farce. As I was paying for the hour, she lent me an ear. Hehehe! She checked the dates on the stuff in the fridge for me, cheese and ready meal found out of date. She will talk with my Doctor for me when she gets back to work. Carol has a few days off, going with her Mum away for a while. Great! She had to rush off after the hour, another call to make.

I spent many hours on CorelDraw before getting onto the blogging. Most of it was accompanied by Herbert’s mechanical concert from above. Percussion and drums mostly, with an odd clunk, throw in for good measure.

It was well into the afternoon before I started the daily ode and cartoon-creating. But I love doing the blog. Sometimes my hoard of followers and fans comment on them, you know. Why, on one day, only last month, both of them did!

That took a while too. Better get summat to eat before the evening carer arrives. Now then, what’s in the fridge freezer to have? I shall investigate… hang on; I’ve got some potatoes already on the boil.

Hang on, I’ve got to get the Warfarin tablets cut. So, I will do that. All done!
I’ll get a meal of some sort sorted out. Potatoes, tomatoes, and pretend fish sticks, it looks like. Good job. I’ve got the JS order coming on Sunday. It’s looking bare in the fridge after throwing away the short and out-of-date food. Tsk!

I’ll have a rummage around to see what can be found. To make a decent meal… Doreen makes me feel a schlemiel!

Well, I managed to knock up a half-acceptable-looking plate of fodder.
Imitation fish sticks, crispy onions, tomatoes, gherkins and those terribly-tasteless so-called by J Sainsbury, new potatoes. The overall flavour score was 6.4/10. The tomatoes and pretend fish sticks were not bad.

Arrived late, into that it mattered to me. Two Carers, one presumably a trainee. I was in a half-daze from being rudely awakened (Haha!), so I cannot say who it was that came or what happened. I recall telling them to help themselves to a treat on the top of the bookcase. Then walking to the door with them to lock it and wishing them well.

After that, I got down in the recliner again and started to watch the end of the heartbeat programme. I and my nodding off again. I woke for a wee-wee with a mammoth amount of

Back to the TV, nodded off again, and woke for another wee-wee! With the regulation .

Fell asleep again and woke up with the Dirty Harry film being shown; it was just starting. I decided to try and enjoy viewing it and bugger the sleeping. Ah, I like Clint Eastwood films.

At least another ten or twelve times and had to have four more wee-wees.

Woke up with the film credits scrolling down the screen! Well, that was Farcical!

I was worn out by then.
One final wee-wee with , and off to the wet room to clean and freshen up. Changed into new PPs, of course.
Straight off into the land of nod when got down again.
Overnight, I had to force myself awake eight more times for a wee-wee! Each one was short and sharp. Thankfully there were no more leakages, seepages or in these ones.

What an Oddlimost day!

ENDING POLITICAL CARTOON