Inchcocks Attempted Escape Ode – It failed, of course!

Inchies Attempted Escape Ode

It’s Not Easy, You Know!

Getting out, that’s something of a rarity!

The preparation for escape overall, schmeered,
Is something that is trepidatious and feared.
But have to be, they have to have persevered,
Painful, dangerous tasks have to be furthered,
Here’s s graphic of some jobs needing to be completed…,

This Mornings Palavas

A smidge high, the body temperature today,
Nowt to fret over, it’s often been this way,
The sphygmomanometer gave 168/71… Hey!
Pulse 97 – blimey! Hope they go down, I pray!

Mike Fries CEO Liberty-Global – Virgin Media

Got sorted out, and low and behold,
Onto the computer, and I’ve got all frampold…
Liberty-Global Virgin Internet – went down six-fold!
My view of this crap firm must remain untold!
Or I may pass my anger-management threshold!

So Much For Taking One Of These!

To the Porcelain Throne and on the seat…
Passing the evacuation was an uncomfortable feat!
The runny gooey mess was finally complete…
Had to clean everything; I hope there’s no repeat!

I took the above morning medications…
None of them caused me any addictions!
Stubbed my toe, causing many ululations,
Noticed on the legs, more even vesiculations,
Such is life, full of irritating tribulations!

The prescription toothpaste a bit sour?
Eight dropsies shaving, three in the shower,
New soap today, scented with elderflower?
Dropped the sponge, bent, hit my head, Wowser!
Against the wall box that giveth the power.
Didn’t half hurt; it made me swear and cower!
It was still hurting after over an hour!

Ah, blood runneth from my private region!
Yes, it was from Little Inchies fungal lesion,
I’d not caught or banged it – what’s the reason?
Ointmentating hurt had to have an intermission!
At least the boils on the bum are in remission!

Humph!

Now to apply the Germoloids ointment,
Harold’s Haemorrhoids, ah, now so evanescent,
And the escaping blasts of wind were now conticent,
Oh, that Germoloid, it really is heaven sent!.

Now to use the soothing, mild Germolene cream,
On the stomach folds, eases the itching like a dream,
Another cream, with results I hold in esteem.
Nowt in this product to make me scream…
Not like Dakacort, that gives me agony I can’t redeem!m,

Saccades eye drops; next, you know…
I miss target often; it runs down my nose…
Cheek, then though the moustache it goes,
Into my mouth, how it’s not poisoned me, I don’t know?

Ear drops, well, Olive Oil,
No, bother, sweat or toil,
Hello, I’ve just found another gum boil!
Just doing the ablutions nowadays is a droil!

Into the PP’s, and freshened and dressed,
Suddenly felt at my embarrassingly awfullest…
Took me so long to get ready again…
I’d missed the bus; it’s such a pain…
I’d lost my desire a zest…
The bus had gone, too late, what a bain!
I now accept it… I’m going insane!

Part of The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme

Stuck In The Lift Ode

LIFT WOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP

THINGS GOT WORSERER!

Made redundant, for another job I applied,
I’ve done Nationwide deliveries before, I lied,
Naughty of me, not at all justified!
I fancied getting out and about Nationwide,
Room on the 12th-floor, Which would be wise?
Up by the stairs? No, the lift I did decide,
Into the cage all alone, nervous, not petrified…

The elevator shuddered to a halt, was it alright?
The panel gave a beep-beep, and flashing red light,
An hour later, I was in a pickle and plight,
Interview time had passed, but last night…
I made some sarnies, tomato and Marmite,
Tucked into them, and pondered as I might,
On the missed opportunity for the job…
That made me want to sob.

For desperate for a wee-wee was I ever so!
Another hour before they rescued me, though,
I needed that wee-wee first; I had to go!
Found a toilet, boy did the urine flow!
Searched for DHP offices high & low,

Aha, gorrit, and in I did go, with agusto,
Then found I had another problemo…
‘You’ve come to the wrong place, don’t you know!’
Smethwick you want, east of here you must go,
She tried to ring them, they were incommunicado,
‘They’ve likely all gone home,’ leaving me in limbo!

Trying to look dignified, back to my Triumph Toledo,
To look at the map… but oh, no no no!
A security guard saw it driven out by a fellow,
I called him a useless so and so!
There was this man, me, a saddo fatso…
Crying and screaming like a soprano… although,

I got another interview for the job, you know…
I didn’t get the job, of course, which is no curio!

Memories of Woes

Words Of Non-Wisdom from Inchcock

 Words of Non-Wisdom from Inchie

Life is no longer too healthful,

I rely on Carers being helpful,

I try not to be disrespectful,

Try to cope, be resourceful,

My daily struggles are continual,

Keeping aware and wakeful,

But it’s hard keeping to a schedule,

No point in moaning; I must be tactful,

Take medications to keep wakeful,

I’m overweight and not very graceful,

I’m common as muck; folk find this distasteful,

Teeth left? Not exactly a mouthful!

All the ailments should make me fearful,

But there’s no time to be tearful,

In fact, this morning, I felt cheerful!

The pretty Carers make me drool,

I know, I’m a romantic old fool,

Now past romancing, that is cruel,

If one adopts this grandad, that’d be cool!

Vascular dementia makes me so forgetful,

What day, time is it. I am very grateful…

When I get summat right, I’m joyful!

The medicationalisationing ritual,

Drives me out of my skull,

I feel I’ve had a belly-full!

Still, I’m practised in things medical,

Life can appear abstract, conceptual!

Occasionally, I feel almost useful,

 But that’s not often or usual,

But the thought of this is valuable,

It helps keep my depression tenable,

Although, now I’m much more abusable,

With PN then stroke, things are more droppable,

I tend to find myself dislikeable?

My ailments and faults are semi-camouflageable,

Most of them are incurable,

I’m growing ever more confusable,

Occasionally, I do something applaudable,

To some, this will sound contradictable,

Hard to be believable,

But the lost skills and abilities,

Are truly not retrievable,

Just press on, I find advisable,

Sometimes the unexpected is achievable,

Then again, I’m very deludable,

Some accifauxpas are just unavoidable,

Like as I type this, sadly horrible…

Virgin Internet down again, unforgivable!

Anger-making, sickening and arousable,

Liberty-Global – so hated and detestable!

What I think of L-G’s CEO Fries is unwritable!

Just noticed that this Ode is so Gawdawful?

I’ll stop now; Huh, it’s pitiful!

Inputted Inchy – Tuesday 16th March 2021 Dairy

♥ TFZer Lillies Famous Lakeside Teas ♥

INCHCOCK TODAY

Tuesday 16th March 2021

Spanish: Martes 16 de Marzo de 2021

023:30hrs: I woke with a dang urgent need of a wee-wee! Argh! Panic ensued as I forced my grossly overweight bellied-body from the recliner, with visions and a sensation of the surging PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribbling), building-up, getting stronger. Caught my balance and hobbled swiftly over to unused overnight NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket).

I had to give this liquid evacuation a new name. I gave it, SWROP (Slow-Weak-Resistant-Oversprinkly-Painful) title. Uncomfortable perhaps rather than painful, though. Many of these followed during the day. I’ll try not to mention them too often.

I took the medications for the evening that I’d missed taken. Humph! Then I got the Health Checks done.

The BP readings from the Sphygmomanometer showed much better results today.

Used the easy-to-use Chinese, made in Hong Kong, contactless thermometer, this result was pleasing too, at 37.2°c – 98.9°f. Not bad at all, methinks.

Microsoft Office allowed me access to Excel (that’s three days now that it’s worked, they are getting better – or are they planning for a more extensive freeze or calamity later?), and updated the log for the Cardiac Unit and DVT Warfarin Clinic. I’ve not been there for two years now, but they did say they will reschedule the cancelled appointment sometime in the future.

I inputted the figures for the blood-pressure onto the NHS site and got this graph up on the right. Which works out a bit better than yesterdays’ did. But still in the High Blood Pressure status, but I’ve been on that for months now. I’ve reported it to the nurse, who tells me that she doesn’t trust my BP machine. I mentioned the failure to get through to register my after-effects of the Covid-19 vaccination and can’t get through to the Doctors surgery. “Yes, they are swamped”, was the answer.

It’s a great feeling that gives one a warm glow in the heart when you are so well cared for: Well, so others tell me!

I poddled onto the balcony with the Kodak camera and put the Canon on a charge.

Maybe today I can learn enough to use this Kodak camera properly? Or not!

The first one, an accidental one as I struggled to open the window, would have been great if it was intended!

The two of the outside were possibly a couple of my worst ever efforts.

I tried to take a photo of the car park on Chesnut Walk, through the window. As you can, it was another disaster! And here I am now, having to use the Kodak for a few hours until the Canon charges-up. I don’t suppose it will worry David Bailey? Hahaha!

I got the updating of the Monday post finished. It cost me a few hours and several, well, many, wee-wees. Pinterested, a few snaps from it, then Emailed the links off.

Between SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters going down, I suffered an inordinately long time getting rattled and making so many errors!

Made a brew, had a wee-wee, passed wind, sneezed and then returned to the computer, with SSS having calmed down a lot now. So recommenced on the computing.

I stopped, having remembered (Having remembered? – I don’t say that very often! Haha!), to take the morning medications.

I went on Facebooking. Then onto the WP comments responding, and visited the WordPress Reader section. Not much seems to be coming through today? Then…

Had a wee-wee (Hardly worth the bother, a dribble!) and made a mug of tea. Then started this Diary off. The attentions of Nicodemus’s Neurotramsmitter’s failing continued to irk me a little, but I just have to get uses to it; nothing can mend nerve-ends dying. It’s not going to get any better, so I made the best of it and calmed down.

The thoughts of the two food deliveries coming together made me wonder why I’d arranged for that – Pillock! I’d better get the ablutions done, then.

No showering, of course, far too early for that and the risk of disturbing my neighbours. The session was a mixed bag of ailments, Accifauxas and goof fortune!

As I got into the wet room, Porcelain Throne’s need arrived – and what a messy affair that was! Semi-soft, messy, stinking, sticky, brown and red gunk! Yet is went away in two flushes but left a lot of mess that needed cleaning up. The TP was not up to the job alone. Dettol and hot water and a thick, strong cloth were utilised, and this took me ages! The bowl was then cleaned and sanitised, and I start to get the nasal clearing done. Put the ear drops in. Then started cleaning the teeth…

So many dropsies, I made my fingers sore with using the picker-upper so often! Haha! The shaving was problematical due to the drain not clearing the water away. I used the last of the f=drain-clearer and a lot of bleach, but it was not very successful! Glibblebonks! But still, only two tiny nicks in shaving, but one of the many dropped razors broke, and the foam spray can no longer work after the drop on the floor via the sink and my left knee! It broke after that was dropsied!

No other problems, as I didn’t put any socks on. Thus cunningly avoiding a battle with SSG Sock-Glide-Glenda.

I’m going to do any handwashing today, but I did move the thick quilted coat from above the sink to above the wall heater, as it had already-morphed into a damp-only mode.

I had a wee-wee, for what it was worth, and made a brew of Glengettie Gold. A text message came in from Iceland… wait for it… It said at the end of the wording, ‘You have no missing items! Well, that’s another first! Of course, being an experienced Iceland shopper, I knew they would have none of the split brown rolls in stock, so I ordered some bread thins and got them both! And little room in the freezer to use! Serves me, right!

I checked on Gmail to see what subs or not available were coming today on the Sainsbury order. Well, that is fortunate, no sourdough bread, but they had none last week either. And, no french cream horns, well, that’s assuaged my guilt at ordering them in the first place. Thank Lord Sainsbury!

Most, fortunately, I went to find the facemask for when the Iceland lad arrives, and the intercom flashed as I passed by it. Otherwise, I would not have known about it; either the sound from the box too low, or my ears were playing up; genuine good fortune that was!

I admitted him and was soon up at the door handing me the bags, which I put in the hallway.

The man was sociable with it. I handed the lad a choice of plonk, and off he shot, wishing me well!

I took the bags through to the kitchenette. I knew that I hadn’t ordered any kitchen towels, bleach etc., but there seemed many bags there?

All became apparent when emptied and sorted the contents of the carriers.

How, or why had I ordered two packs of the misshaped cooked ham? How or why had I got a dirty-great container of orange juice?

Why I ordered all the packets of chill chicken in different sizes?

The lean diced beef I knew was for making the chilli later on. The cucumber for making pickled cucumber arrived. I put the overordering down to Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters letting down so often.

When the Sainsbury order arrives, I really hope I’ve not done it on their order as well; I’ll not have from in the fridge or freezer! Tsk!

I updated this post up to here and prayed I could hear the intercom when Mr Sainsbury arrives; hello, he’s here, and I did hear the intercom, just! The chap put the loose delivered goods in the box and carrier for me at the door, accepted a can of Vodka & lime mix, in thanks, and departed.

As I was putting the things into the kitchen to sort them out. Struggling to find room moire than ever in the fridge and freezer, the intercom rang out.

The chap returned cause he’s found a box of Cornettos he’s missed in his van for me. That was nice of him!

I’d bought a lot of fresh foods. Tomatoes x2, leeks, Limoncello (for Josie), lemon desserts, Coz’s apples (they were dry, bruised and not very good tasting). Bread thins, garden peas shelled, beef chunks, crispy smoked bacon, more cooked meats (Tsk!), milk roll loaf etc.

Somehow or other, I got the stuff put away, and then thoughts of food, eating, my leaning towards eating, nouvelle cuisine, and epicureanism abounded in my mind… What to have for my nosh! I was certainly spoilt for choice! After only a few seconds (fast for me!), I’d opted to get the beef chunks in the crockpot, add oodles of chopped leeks, and the garden peas to be added later.

I got the beef and leeks in and added some seasonings: Sea salt, black pepper, Oxo and Best Bisto gravy granules, burnt chilli powder, basil, and a drop of balsamic vinegar that had been delivered. I forgot all about the tomato passata, though, Humph!

Cleaned up and kept stirring the mixtures as I did the cleaning and sorting the bag of treats for the lovely folk on floor nine. After the water in the pot was bubbling, I turned it down and added the shelled garden peas, stirring regularly but quickly so as not to let the contents cool down. I had a taste, and in response, I added a splash of the Squid vinegar to it.

I spent a good while making up some waste bags and sorting them into the box on the walker-trolley in the hall.

While doing this task, the weariness dawned on me, and I realised that either a blank-period or mind-fatigued withdrawal from awareness was on the way. I just knew. Unfortunately!

So, I decided to get the bags to the chute and nip down with Doris, Jenny, and Frank’s bag. The hobble to the chute-room and depositing of the bags went without any hassle… well, there was a block outside the hallway door to the lobby, who doing some electrical work, and was not too pleased to have to get down from his step ladder to let me out. Hehehe!

I went down to the ninth in the elevator, dropped the carrier at Jen’s flat door, and back up to the 12th-floor. If I recall correctly, I had a marathon wait as the cages kept passing by, going up and down and not showing much interest in stopping for me? Come think of it, it may well have been muggings here, or to be precise, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, that did not sense my pressing the button, or failed to pass on the message to the brain, or Memory Mike, who had no idea what was going on at all? Hahaha! Yes, the weariness was coming… Boulderclumps!

I got back to my floor, and the poor electrician was upon his ladder again working next to the lobby door I needed. I waited patiently until he’s finished what he was doing. The lips visibly moved under his facemask. Not sure what it was he was saying, but the eyes looked rather keenly at me. Hehehe!

As I titivated the crockpot contents and had a little nibble to test things, the landline burst forth. It was Jenny, updating me on the situation with the lack of ILC’s. Holiday (vacationing) time. Well, they deserve them, having to put up with us old antediluvian fogies! Hahaha! Jenny and I had a little natter, which is always welcome. ♥

I got the nosh done, not that it needed much doing now. An expensive meal this one was. But worth it! Flavour Rating 9/10! I got the gravy mix and chilli-level right for once. And the lemon dessert went down well, too! This was one of my better efforts. Although the bank manager may disagree!

Weary-William had joined me, and the only thing I could do was to give in to him. I did manage to wash the pots before collapsing in the c1968 recliner. I seem to recall watching a ‘Parking Wars’ episode on the goggle-box; well, I started to anyway. Drifted off in minutes, but only for an hour or so, I sprang awake with Thought-Stormsrattling away in my head, so persistently.

Got up, and I took the belated evening medications. I got a drink of orange juice from the fridge and took a photo of the evening view. I looked much more vivid than it appears in this sad picture on the right here.

Back to the recliner and climbed into it. The Thought-Storms had gone, and Sweet Morpheus soon took over… Fantabulous!

Impugner Inchy – Sunday 14th March 2021 Diary – I so dislike Sundays!

♥ Lucky Paul gets his TFZer! ♥

INCHCOCK TODAY

Sunday 14th March 2021

German: Sonntag, 14 März 2021

00:25hrs: I woke, worrying, fretting and almost panicking about life’s lousy leanings… But not for too long, a wee-wee was required, and the PMD (Pre Micturition Dribbling) could be sensed arriving.

Thus the swiftest-for-months escape from the recliner was performed, balance caught, and over to the already nearly full NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). A tight, trickling, stinging, spraying all-over wee-wee was taken; that didn’t last for long. So many followed, but I’ll not mention each one, Haha!

As I was taking the bucket to the wet room for emptying, sanitising and cleaning, it became apparent to me that I needed to use the Porcelain Throne. So, I did! And what a difference this time! A draw between Trotsky Terence and Constipation Konrad! Resulting in my having to wait for ages for things to start, despite the inner rumbling. So long that I got the crossword book out – mind you, I couldn’t get any clues answered, Tsk! When the motions began, so did the pain from my having to force things along, yet seconds alter the splattering, then the slashing into the bowl, signalled the end of the action?

Then the hard work had to be done. The tank was refilled three times, four-flushes, and a lot of cleaning up was needed. Then the emptying, cleaning and sanitising of the NWWB had to be done. I was knackered, and I’d only been up for about 20-minutes! I was glad I’d remembered to order some more toilet rolls next Tuesday twixt 08:00 > 09:00hrs, from Sainsbury’s. That is if they have some in stock, of course.

If not, they may send me some brown shoe polish or cough medicine as one of their infamous substitutes, I suppose. Snigger!

I went on the computer and started updating the Saturday Diary. The internet was slow this morning. But I pressed on and got it finished and posted off to WordPress. Then, I Pinterested some pictures and onto the WordPress Reader section. As I moved onto the Facebooking catch-up…

Took the missed earlier evening medications. And I put the kettle on. Had a wee-wee of a much different variety this time of the unexpected PSS (Persistent, Short, Sharp) mode. The pitiable but heartbreaking Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet came back on, of its own accord. A miracle?

Made the mug of Glengettie tea and went back onto the Facebooking. After a half-hour or so…

  They pay £23.4b to buy Virgin Media. Now, they merge with Telefonica’s British mobile company O2, in a deal worth £24Billion! The boss man Fries is on a salary of $2.4m, a $5m bonus for signing a new contract, stock awards of $79m, options worth $20.2m, and cash bonuses of $15.3m, plus expenses! Of course, I’m not jealous or anything like that! But I do wish he could get his bloody internet to work correctly!

I got around to doing the Health Checks at long last.

The old Boot’s made in China Sphygmomanometer showed up a slight increase in the BP figures. SYS up to 160, DIA to 71, but the PULSE down to 81bmp.

The reliable, trustworthy, Chinese manufactured contactless thermometer was in the green once more, at a reasonable 36.7°c – 98.6°f.

I managed to beat Microsoft again and gained access to my Excel HC listings to update them.

Fair enough, both Excel and Word blogged access later on in the day to me!

I put the BP figures into the NHS site and got this reading on the right back.

Still not good, is it, being in the Red still! Hey-ho! I did mention this to the nurse last week but got no response, so I assumed it must be okay.

I had a wee-wee of the SPL (Steady-Persistent-Lengthy) type, and back to the WP Comments and answering for a while.

Made a brew, got some biscuits and took a break for a while. The sunshine was coming out, the winds were howling, the ‘Hum’ was getting much louder, and started sneezing again?

I felt a lot better than I was yesterday, but the wobbles and weariness started about midday. Hopefully, and peradventure, it will not return again today… but it is a Sonnertag, so anything can happen!

I got a decent bit of handwashing done, rinsed, wrung and hung above the kitchen sink. Mostly thick clothing, so it’ll take a few days to dry-off properly.

Started the ablutions! Which produced some slightly annoying and comical happenings.

The toes were hurting when I took off the socks; the getting ever longer nails were starting to curve in and out. For the life of me, I can’t remember who cut them for me last time? Really sad, innit?

The session went well, other than the dropsies were more than ever before, not Nicodemus to blame this time, but the violent SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley). Although she calmed down later, nicely.

I got all sorted and showered after the session. Did the medications and started to get dressed. I opted to put some short cotton socks on to avoid using Sock-Glide-Glenda. (Yes, as cowards go, I’m up there with the best! Hahaha!) I got them on without any tumbles, but it was a painful experience.

I opened the pack of Tena PPs, to find they were of a different colour and pattern. Then realised on the label it said ‘Sport Pants’? They were smaller than the usual ones, and as I pulled them up, my fingers went through the toilet-paper like thin fabric! I was most disappointed, but I saw the funny side of the farce. Expensive job this! I also noticed the flobby, rotund wobbly belly was getting far too extensive now! I must cut down on the comfort food! I can’t believe I wrote that? Hehe!

I spent the next hour or so prepping Josie’s Sonnertag lunch. I washed up as I went along as best I could and had very few dropsies. Thus, I was a little impressed with myself for doing so. Then I presented the fodder to Josie at her front door, dead on the designated delivery time! She gave it a quick inspection, and the gal seemed happy with it.

I got the waste bags sorted out and filled, well, overfilled the box on the walker-guide. (Actually, I forgot all about doing this and left them there, not taking them out to the waste-room chute! In the morning, they were still there awaiting my attention) Hahaha!

I went into the wet room for a wee-wee on the way back, and as I opened the door to enter, A wanton, involuntary right leg Neuropathy Pete Schuhplattler dance erupted out of the blue! Luckily, no injuries this time or falling over. Just a little clout to the side of my head and earhole on the doorframe. It could have been a lot worse!

As I was washing the hands after the wee-wee, the weariness syndrome arrived. So, I thought I’d better get my nosh sorted before I fade too much. So, I did!

I made a few Dagwood style sarnies, with milk roll bread, beef and tomatoes: some potato salad, cheesy mash, garden peas, and a few vinegar-flavoured chip-sticks. Got settled in the c1968 recliner and slowly masticated away at the fodder on the tray. Flavour rating 7/10, the Iceland cooked pork was very thin and bland in the extreme, in fact, horrible and papery tasting to me! A shame that!

I washed the pots, wrung out the water from the hanging washing, had a wee-wee, and settled down to watch the TV. I checked the listings first – what a load of rubbish! Apart from a football match between Southampton and Brighton & Hove Albion, it was not worth watching. When the game had finished, I thought I’d put on a DVD… but the weariness was gripping me now, and I drifted off into a dream-filled slumber for a few minutes or so.

Being woken up by the pain from the toes as I moved my legs under the quilt. I’d got the camera on the Ottoman, so I took this photo of the pain-giving toenails! Why they were so bad, I didn’t know. I took off the socks, and they didn’t seem excessively long? But tender they were. Perhaps it was the old cotton socks that had irritated things?

I got up for a wee-wee (fed-up with this!) and resettled, suffered a Thought Storm, and flowed body and mind into the arms of Sweet Morpheus.

Idiotic-Inchcy – Saturday 13th March 2021 Diary

♥ The Next TFZer President Speaks! ♥

INCHCOCK TODAY

Saturday 13th March 2021

Croatian: Subota, 13 Ožujka 2021

00:00hrs: Considering the truly low and depressed mood I found myself in last night, as I stirred into semi-life, I was suddenly aware that the gloom and doom tormenting my brain was gone, disappeared, no longer there! I found this rather flummoxing.

I was baffled as to why? Nothing had changed from yesterday. Had I been dreaming, and that may have had some effect in cheering me up? Was it the bang on the head when I took my tumble that brought it on in the first place? Hello, I’d better get up; I don’t want to encourage any Thought Storms! I need a wee-wee anyway.

I freed my overweight, flobby-stomached body from the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner with absolute ease – until I got the weight on the knees! Argh! Cathy Cartilage on the right knee, and Arthur Itis on the left one, were both so painful and in a bad mood with me this morning. The few hurtful paces to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket) indicated that this will be a less-than-easy hobbling about Saturday.

I fumbled about to get Little Inchie out and realised as I did so, the NWWB was over half full? Why does this happen so often? I must have made many trips to release this much wee-wee overnight? Yet I cannot recall getting up at all to do so? The pain I must have got from Arthur and Cathy getting out of the recliner so often, I’d have thought I would have been made me aware of what I was doing? My mind was soon cleared of this question, as the embarrassment of a somewhat significant amount of PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribbling) escaped into the half down PPs. By bottom-lip protruded, and after finishing, I took the bucket to the wet room for emptying and sanitising and got a clean-up and got a new pair of PPs on.

It’s time and incidents like this that really bring it home to one; the body is doing its own thing, the brain’s logicality loses its way, the memory is fading fast and now avoiding most of its retention powers. The bones, joints, and ticker etc., are crumbling without mercy. Still, yer doesn’t like to complain, does yer!

I got the kettle on to make a brew of Thompsons Punjana, and it sounded like someone had just turned the volume up on the ‘World-Wide-Hum’; Gawd, it was loud! And the heaters were not working again? Worra, life! But I imagine that there are many people in the complex in this position, not that it cures anything, but, at least, I am still aware of my senility is en route. I worry for the future, though. Blooming cold in here again! Weekend, of course, so no one to help me out with getting the heaters also going correctly.

Had another wee-wee of the IRPT (Indefatigably-Relentless-Painful-Trickling) mode.

I took the morning medications, then got the Health Checks done. The temperature was alright this morning; it seems to be getting steadier now. Of course, I shouldn’t have said that; it was silly of me! 36.7°c – 98.06°f. It was in the green, so it should be acceptable.

The Boot’s sphygmomanometer readings were decent, methinks. SYS 150, DIA 71, and the Pulse was at 84 bpm. As I was taking this, a headache came on suddenly, sharp to the right side of the head – then a minute later, it was gone?

Microsoft Office allowed me access to Excel to update the Health Checks listing figures.

Do you see that? Three, in-the-green temperatures on the trot there! Much better than earlier in the week.

I had another wee-wee, surprisingly, of the WUNT (Weak-Unwilling-Negligible-Trickling) style. Then made a start on the updating of the Friday Diary. Sorted the photographs out first, then got the scripting done. The ailments of concern were just two; Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters letting me down a few tines, and of course the SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) in support, but a lot less bothersome than she was yesterday. I perseverated and got it finished but had to have four wee-wees during the three hours of writing and correcting—all of the SPL (Steady-Persistent-Lengthy). I’m getting variety today, at least. Haha!

As I put the kettle on in the cold, shiver-giving kitchen (Heater still not working), I had to nip off to the wet room to utilise the Porcelain Throne. What going on here! Constipation Konrad seems to be fighting back? Heck of a job to get things moving, and it was gooey yet solid? The toilet rolls will have to be ordered today; if I can get a slot for an A.M. delivery. A good clean up, and pleasingly, the evacuated produce was cleared with just two flushes!

I had a wash-up and had another wee-wee, this time of the PSS (Persistent, Short, Sharp) mode. Another washing of the dandies, and back to the computer.

I Pinterested some snaps, Emailed the link, and went on Facebooking catch-up. Spent a long time on that. Two WordPress comments had come in, which I replied to. Then I visited the WordPress Reader Section. I had another wee-wee of the PSS (Persistent, Short, Sharp) mode… I think we can assume that every half-hour or so throughout the day, I needed and took a wee-wee; it’ll save me a lot of typing. Tsk! Then:

I went onto the Sainsbury site to see what slots were attainable. I got a slot for Tuesday 16th @ 8>9a.m. Do you know, I made a mistake and ordered some Fresh Cream French Horns.

Brekkers sorted out. And from here on, it is hit and misses, memory-wise, very patchy. Sorry.

Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling so good, perplexed, and tired out.

I had a weariness-attack, and I just turned off the computer and sat down on the recliner for many hours, watching some banal crap on the TV, but I couldn’t understand why. Doing nothing but grow fat by nibbling biscuits, crisps, ice-cream as well, I think?

The need for the Porcelain Throne then forced me to get up. I ached all over, was coughing and sneezing and felt under the weather, and confused. For some reason, I found out in the morning, I’d not cleaned up the wet room, Eurgh!

I actually made some more fodder! (I found this photo on the SD card). But can I remember making or eating it? No!

But I did find most of it in the bin later on in the night.

Along with this photo, taken through the balcony dividing glass? Not sure what, if anything, went on after that.

Mind you, Sunday morning, I did discover this snap on the camera-card. Also, that the fodder things were left loose in the sink bowel?

I’m sure that I sat down again, incapable of logical thought, and once more, spent hours just sat there, looking at the turned-off TV and fighting-off Thought-Storm-Thaddeus, but only half-heartedly. I think I was so down; I actually just accepted the self-criticisms, fears, worries etc., as a natural leveller, and a prevailing punishment, and part of my growing mental decrepitude.

The thought of having another banal Sunday to get through tomorrow was soul-destroying.

The resistant sleep did come eventually.

Impavid Inchy – Friday 12th March 2021 – Diary

Classy TFZer Gentlemen!

“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”


INCHCOCK TODAY

Friday 12th March 2021

ITALIANO: Venerdì 12 Marzo 2021

23:25hrs: Horrible ever waking sleep last night. I was in the recliner for about five hours, though, but most of it spent waking up, thoughtless and vague-minded, and waiting to nod-off again! Grubblebleackers!

I got freed from the recliner, caught my balance quickly (Cartilage Cathy was so kind to me this morning, Yee-Ya!) By gum, it was cold in the flat. I wobbled into the kitchen and got the kettle on. Washed last night’s dishes and things and made a brew of Glengettie tea.

Then did the Health Checks. Pleased to see the SYS at 147, DIA 67 and PULSE down nicely to 83bpm. I didn’t adopt any Smug-Mode yet, mind.

I got the contactless thermometer out and was also satisfied with the resulting figure that it produced. 36.6°c – 97.88°f.

I took last night’s missed dosages of medications. (Fool!)

Got the computer on, and much to my surprise, Microsoft allowed me access to Excel and the HC logs to update. (Weich they denied me for all day yesterday – well, each time I tried, it was updating!

I’d let the tea go cold, so I made a Thompsons Punjana and then checked out the wall heaters that were not producing any heat at all! It was bloody cold in the flat, I can tell yers! Methinks I have problems with them!

I started to update the Thursday Diary. Got it finished, despite SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley doing her best to have the right arm torn-off at the glenohumeral joint! Hehehe! Vicious she was, for about an hour solid. That’s never happened before. Not for that long a period. Still, she eased off later. Painfully and persistently, I completed the task, and I posted some snaps to Pinterest.

Then, sent the Diary off to WordPress, emailed the link, and went on Facebooking catch-up. I discovered it was another lovely, loveable TFZer ladies Birthday, so I made a graphic and sent it off to her. Note I’ve lost so much weight… Hehehe! ♥

Made some comments on WordPress. I visited the WP Reader section, then the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived. Off to the wet-room, I hobbled. (Not so bad actually, Cartilage Cathy is still pleased with me and being gentle too!)

What a mess! Loose, yet gooey with it, short-lived, not a lot of it evacuated, and yet the gluey semi-liquid dollop just would not go away! Several refills of the tank by hand from the sink where needed, and five or six flushes! A jolly good job I had toilet paper spares, well that’s what they were, now more will be required, judging by the whole roll needed to clean things up.  Flibblegonkackles!

Apart from so many dropsies thanks to SSS, the stand-up session was only worthy of one mention with a difference. That was after nasal cleaning, teeth cleaning, shaving, bathing, and medicating…

Getting the socks on! It was even funny at the time! I forced the right leg up a little, wedged my bum on the door corner, got the sock part way on, and lost my grip (I do a lot of that!). The cotton sock shot off, hit the back of the closet box, and plonked down into the WC water! I tried to replicate what I would have been doing and made a photo of it afterwards. Another pair of socks were utilised. The legs seem to be retaining fluid again?

The Iceland Foods delivery is due twixt 06:00 > 08:00hrs, but I’d got the ablutions sorted early enough to do the hand-washing in the kitchen sink sorted. All done, wrung, and hung above the sink on hangers. The Lily and Yang Yang scent in the Surf soap powder has a delightful smell.

I took a Canan camera photo of the morning view as I put the kettle on and made a mug of Glengettie brew.

I checked the heater in the kitchen, and it was warm now; I turned it up somewhat, as the weather forecast is so gloomy for the next 24-hours.

I took a shot of Chestnut Walk and the car park on it.

Time getting close now for the food to arrive. After it does and I get it stored away, I’ll see how supplies look and if another Sainsbury order might be a good idea, depends on what slots are available. Sometimes it’s a long wait to get one.

I did some updating on this post and then made another brew, Thompsons Punjana, this time. No time to drink it, the intercom rangeth and flashed, it was the Iceland Food delivery arriving, I pressed the entry button and awaited his arrival.

The Iceland man dropped the begs… begs? Yet another cock-up wiv me grammar, Tsk!), bags I meant, through the doorway for me. Slipped him a choice of cans of plonk, and off he trotted on his mission to feed the nation!

I took the carriers through to the kitchen and went on the internet to see if anything was short delivered or substituted.

Does yer know, there wasn’t a single substitution, and nothing short delivered… Even more surprising, there was nothing found to be short-dated either, as well, besides! Iceland outdid themselves with this delivery, a definite, very welcome first!

I was well pleased, but of course, I’d not checked for any damaged, crushed or leaking goods yet, so I resisted going into a Smug-Mode for the time being.

I set about putting the frozen stuff away first. As you can see in the photograph here on the right, it was all healthy living stuff. Well, I forgot to get the chips. Hahaha! Still a kid at heart, I am!

Next, I put away the fridge items, far better foodstuffs. Topside beef slices, pork & Pickle mini pork pies, sweet chilli chicken, chicken thighs, potato salad, egg-mayonnaise, and some strawberry and whipped cream desserts. Now I’ve put the spell checker on; the previous sentence had eight mistakes on it! Ahem! Got the other stuff in the bathroom and cupboards.

The YourArea magazine arrived, so I investigated. The lottery winner had been sentenced for his appallingly dangerous driving in which he killed a 75-year-old lady in the car he’d drifted across the road, and his BMW then crashed head-on into an oncoming Ford Fiesta.

I say sentenced; he got away with a 16-week suspended sentence and a one-year driving ban! For a £45 million lottery winner, that’s really going to bother him, innit! And the poor husband has lost his wife through Topham’s ignorance of the law and lack of concentration in driving, and I believe still in the hospital.

The now 31-year old Topham said in court: “I honestly don’t believe I thought about what I was about to do,” he said. “If I could take it back, I would, but I can’t.” (Me, me, me!) Huh! Generalfeldmarschall Friedrich Paulus said that after Stalingrad, will have to find money from his £45m for taxies? Some sodding deterrent that was! Was the jury back-handed? Just asking! I bet he the had best expensive lawyers!

At least I found some goodish news on the Covid-19 figures locally.

I decided to get some late brekkers.

I called Warden Deana on the phone, got a recorded message.

Phone the Doctors Surgery, got a recorded message.

I went to make a brew of Glengettie, and I took a tumble as I bent down to check the heat not coming from the radiator. Clouted the head on the ledge on the way down, and SSS started to play up as I struggled back up onto my feet with the help of the stove.

Made the tea and had a sit-down. I’m not sure what happened then, but I assume I fell asleep cause it was hours later when I seemed to wake-up, head pounding. I took a Codeine 60g. I didn’t feel poorly, just confused.

Did some updating of this post, but concentration was not coming to me easily. 

It’s still a bit of a blur. No notes on the pad had been added, so I assume I’d nodded off again cause I woke up in the recliner. Feeling peckish, I made a meal of sorts made up. Didn’t enjoy it much, but I’ve had worse, though. A taste rating of 6/10 was given.

I had a surreal few hours then.

In the morning, I found these photographs of the TV screen on the SD card?

Yes, it beats me why, as well!

After perusing the pictures, I assumed that I’d been watching, or falling asleep to and waking, Law & Order, Tales of the unexpected, many adverts and commercials, and possibly even a Nightmare Kitchen episode?

All I can remember for definite is that I was having difficulty in getting to sleep. I did keep nodding off, I think, but the nods only lasted a few seconds each time?

I noticed it was 19:00hrs on the clock, then went into a Thought Storming period.

A bad one, guilt, despair, mistakes, isolation, depression and fear all played a part. These went on for ages, with some emotional events from the past repeating!

I was fighting with my memory for some unknown reason, and I became self-loathing in the process.

I was pointless concerning myself with banal questions and seeking positive answers; Had I been to the Porcelain Throne today? What to do about the ear-ache? I must get a Sainsbury order done tomorrow, etc., on and on the silliness of life came at me, sadly, along with the regular guilt, shame and embarrassment. I really did feel so; what’s the word I’m looking for… lambasting and self-chastising. Oh, that’s two words!

I did eventually nod-off, and when I woke up, I wondered if my memory had been warped as I recalled how I’d felt, but the sense of doom and gloom was no longer lingering?

Isn’t life funny at times?

Impudicity-Inchy, Thursday 11th March 2021, Diary

♥ TFZers – What are they up to, though? Hehehe! ♥


INCHCOCK TODAY

Thursday 11th March 2021

Norwegian: Torsdag 11 Mars 2021

23:40hrs: I stirred, after a decent five-hours of undisturbed sleep, in need of an urgent wee-wee. I disentangled my elephantine over-wobbly-bellied body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety recliner, and stood up to catch my balance…

Neuropathy Pete’s adventitious right leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance kicked-off, with a concise but brutal flailing performance. Luckily before I’d hobbled away from the recliner, which I sat down on again post-haste. No harm was done; I was back up and wee-weeing in the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket) within two minutes. The evacuation was of the WUNT (Weak-Unwilling-Negligible-Trickling) style.

I got the Health Checks done, starting with the BP Sphygmomanometer, And another decent-looking set of results this morning. SYS 144, DIA 72, and the PULSE down to only 82!

The contactless thermometer was in the green, and it read 36.8°c – 98.24°f, much better than late!

I went to open Microsoft Excel to update the recordings, but once again, it was updating ‘Office’ and would not allow me access to the programme. Cracklepackers!

I had a devil of a job in updating the Wednesday Diary. So many late photos yesterday to old and sort before even starting on updating the wordage! SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters were playing up and making progression even slower than ever. A little annoying! However, I eventually got it finished and treble checked, find endless errors to put right. Tsk! I’ve probably missed some of them; sorry about that if I have. I had a weak wee-wee.

I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea and then posted-off the blog. Pinterested a couple of snaps. Spent a few minutes getting this block started and went on Facebooking catch-up.

Perused the Facebook reader. Then read and replied to some WordPress comments. And got rid of another weak wee-wee. And for the first time in 30hrs+, the need for the Porcelain Throne showed up. Off to the wet room. I’ll see how things pan-out, then I can decide whether to take another of the Numark anti-diarrhorea tablets or not.

It felt strange in my not hurrying to the toilet for once. I thought things would be tighter, and they were, but still gooey. Not bleeding, and only a small evacuation, which was black in colour? As usual, my habit of dithering over choice and decision making was rampant, and I could not tell if I needed another Numark tablet or not!

On the way back to the computer, Cathy Cartilage joined in the pain giving ailment list. Gawd, she was giving it to me!

I did some WP Comments answering. And went on to the WordPress Reader section.

The howling wind seemed to be getting louder now. Still, it masks the ‘World Wide Hum’ a bit. I’ve never known it so bad since I moved here? I bet it wakes some poor soul up!

I got dirted again when I put the kettle on and did some handwashing. Some cotton long and short socks and the made in Myanmar (Burmese), too small to fit me, grey zip-up jacket. Done, wrung, and hung to dry above the kitchen sink.

Another summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived, so I ambled along to the wet room. (Well, the toilet was in there, so it seemed a logical move) Hahaha! Again, as the first visit not long ago, the evacuation was only a small, once, but far messier than the last one was!

At least this helped me make my mind up to make a brew of Glengettie and take the morning medications with an added Numark anti-diarrhorea tablet.

I had a look at the leg ulcer. I’d gained some blotch marks around the ankle, and the old wound looked like it might be flaring up again? Mmm?

I got back and made a brew and took the medications. As I was taking them, it sounded like the ‘Hum’ and the howling winds were in competition to be the loudest. It was not helping my concentration at all.

Ablutions tackled:

As I got stripped, I could see that the ankle looked much betterer than earlier? Then realised I was using the Kodak camera; that’s why things looked brighter. I put the Kodak camera away and used the Canon for a while after this.

The session went very well, indeed! The dropsies added up to about eighteen/twenty, I reckon. But no tumbles, no dizzies or bleeding either! Shaving produced not a single nick! No falling or injuries during and dressing! The medicationing was fine! Mind you, because of this good luck, I didn’t put any socks on. (I had too later; when it got so much colder!) 

All done, I got the missed socks from yesterday, hand-washed, and hung.

I moved the earlier hand-washed grey jumper onto the serving tray and placed it near the kitchen wall heater. I must keep checking it for safety. As it is not really dry enough yet.

Then I made up some black waste bags and a recycling one and got them in the walker-guide box.

I trundled off into the foyer and out to the lift lobby and down to the chute room. The first bag  I got out of the box looked a little too large, I squashed best I could, and it went down with no trouble at all, as did the other bags. I’m was in danger of a Smug-Mode coming on here. Hehehe!

Back to the flat and checked the Amazon tracker. The pill pots weren’t even out for delivery yet; no, it looks like it might be another late stay-awake night for me.

I took a picture just as the sun disappeared and the rain stopped.

I had a nosey at the YourArea Emagazine. At least the Covid-19 new cases are well down on last week!

Stores closing in Nottingham, fast-food stores opening in Nottingham. All confusing?

Well, what a shock on the local weather forecast?

The lackadaisicalness and weariness came over me, and I became pretty useless brain-wise. I put on the Amazon tracker and just sort of sat there waiting for it to get closer and arrive. Doing very little, apart from doing some self-analysing and fault finding for about an hour or so. Then the door chimes rang out! The Amazon pill-pods were there on the floor outside the door.

I collected them and did a visual inspection. At least when the next month’s prescriptions arrive, I can sort them out using these new pods, hopefully easier than last month with all the mixed empty mishmash of pods to get confused with. Well, that’s the plan anyway.

Totally drained now, mentally for some unknown reason. I got the nosh prepared. I ate it all. (By gum, I’m eating well recently, too well?)

I foolishly thought I’d stay up to watch the two episodes of ‘Tales of the Unexpected’ on channel 11. Not a chance! I was in the land of nod before the programme even started! Waking up to the tune of the end credits playing. I considered getting up to wash the pots and dishes, but I was soon back with Sweet Morpheus.

But it was a fitful sleep this time. For the next five hours, I seemed to blink awake and drift back into slumber so often? There were no thought storms involved, though—just a vague sort of ‘Oh sod it!’ response each time I fluttered begrudgingly awake and drifted back into a tristful sleep of sorts.

Irked-Inchy – Monday 8th March 2021 Dairy

 

♥ TFZers relaxing in the Garden… oh, yes? Hehe!

What’s going on here, then?


INCHCOCK TODAY

Monday 8th March 2021

Catalan: Dilluns, 8 de Març de 2021

00:30hrs: I woke to require a wee-wee and fought to dislodge my bouncy, prodigiously over-bellied body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, recliner.

Caught my balance (eventually) and meandered over to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). I suffered from a lot of PMD (Pre Micturition Dribbling) before I got there. Embarrassment-Mode-Engaged! As I decided to go to the wet room for a clean-up, gaseous wind escaped from the rear end, and the haste to the Porcelain Throne took on a new urgency!

I got there barely in time. Trotsky Terence was in charge again, even more so. The evacuation started of its own accord, Wet, but gungy and gooey again! What a mess to clean up, the bowl, me, from the escaping wee-wee, swapped PPs… and had a wash. Then needed to refill the water tank a few times by hand from the sink to clear the evacuated product! This was too much like hard-work to wake up to, Tsk!

I got the Health Checks done. The Boot’s Chinese Sphygmomanometer gave forth worrying results again. SYS 162, DIA down to 76, and the pulse was up to 91bpm!

I’ll check on the NHS site in a bit, but it didn’t look right to me.

Hong Kong made contactless thermometer shoed 371°c – 98.78°f. It’s not too high, methinks, or is it?

I went on the NHS BP site to find out if I was in the red or amber. I soon found it was well in the red High Blood Pressure area on the graph.

But it was actually a bit down on yesterday morning’s reading? (I think).

Mind you, yesterday being a Sunday, I’m not really surprised. Even the thoughts of Sundays send my BP, pulse and depression rising! Hehehe!

I tried to go on to Microsoft Excel, but again it wouldn’t let me. Gave some garbage about being updated again? Most annoying considering I’m paying for some extras on it… mind you, I can’t remember what they are supposed to be! I’m doing a lot that nowadays… not remembering!

I had to put the Canon camera on charge and nipped onto the balcony to take the view and Chestnut Walk photographs, using the Kodak.

Then, the Porcelain Throne visit no. 2 arrived! A repeat performance as the first visit, but, thankfully, without the PMD (Pre Micturition Dribble). I don’t want to fill this diary with wee-weeing, but they got more frequent throughout the day and were all a smidgeon painful. Humph! Maybe I took two Furesomides, one being instead of the Beta-blocker?

I completed the Sunday Diary updating and emailed the link. Pinterested a couple of photos. Made a brew of Glengettie and back on the computer. Made a start on this diary, then went on Facebooking for a while. Next, I visited the WP Reader Section. Then read and respond to some comments. Only two today – am I losing my appeal? Hahaha!

I made and sent off an order for Iceland for delivery next Friday, 12th, twixt 06:00 > 08:00. Started sneezing again, and the shivers have come back?

I’ll make another brew and got some biscuits to nibble. Then off to get the ablutions done – I got side-tracked yet again, and I got the handwashing in the sink to soak in the Surf with tropical Lily and Yang Yang, soap powder, for after the showering.

Off to the wet room. Ablutioning: It’s never gone better than this morning! A total of about six dropsies, Grrreat! Only two tiny nicks shaving, and it seemed like a flash, and I was all done and towelling off. And; the medicating was problemless!

Which, of course, brought me to a decision making time… I was going to wear a pair of shorter cotton socks today – which I was tempted to put on with Sock-Glide-Glenda!

Changed my mind and adopted the ‘in the corner’ position with the door behind me. I flipping changed my mind again, as I recalled yesterday’s tumble doing it this way, albeit with the extra-long socks. Then bravely, nae… heroically, I decided to use Glenda, fearless I was! (But, I soon turned into a whimpering wreck!)

I got both socks on without getting any bleeding, trapped fingers or stubbed toes, or welts accrued. Just as I was considering upgrading my Smug-Mode… I dropped the Sock-Glide-Glenda as I putting her back on the shower chair! A corner landed on my right ankle, and it bounced up again; it clouted and set off poor Cathy’s Cartilage and slid down ti hit my left big toe a wallop!

Of course, I merely laughed it off and had a joke with Glenda as I threw her in the corner of the wet room (luckily resisting the urge to kick the damned frame!) Fighting off crying, gritting my teeth and feeling a right fool! Things were going so well, as well! Thunderclapilisations!

I got the Phorpain Gel out again and gave Cathy’s knee a good rubbing in of it. But, I had only myself to blame. But I didn’t. Hehehe!

I got the handwashing done, a bit more of it today. I used the powder Surf; it does smell nice! Standing there in washer-woman style at the sink for a while, upsetting Cartilage Cathy, as was expected. I must try to remember to keep ringing the clothes out!

I made-up an Iceland order. For Friday 12th, between 0600 > 08:00hrs.

Then prepped some leeks to go into the crock-pot for later. I may have been a little risky, with Trotsky Terence being so rampant, but I decided to have a can of Chilli-Con-Carne this afternoon, and I aim to add some peas and the leeks. They smelt excellent cooking. I added an Oxo cube and some Bisto Best beef granules.

Then with Iceland not selling the anti-Diahorrea medication yesterday, I had a look at what was available on Amazon. A box of 30 sachets of ‘Specta’ acute & chronic, Instant Relief powders was ordered.

Then I checked on the Amazon site to see what time they may arrive, and I found they were due tomorrow, not today. Tsk! Humph! I got myself in a pickle there! Rather confused?

Maybe I shouldn’t risk the Chilli-Con-Carne, then? Mmm!

Then it dawned on, the Vampire nurse is a little later than usual arriving? Mind, you, some don’t come until it’s my head down-time.

I do feel a right schnook! I had a look at the DVT Warfarin card for the last visit. The next vampire nurse blood test is not until the 22nd of March! Blimey, that’ll be a gap of five or six weeks without a Warfarin blood test! 

And I was relying on talking to the nurse about my problems. It’s been so long since I got through on the phone or by email to the Doctors surgery; the 2nd- vaccination is due. I know not when – Vaccination- centres are closing due to supply problems… And I do need some anti-diahorrea medications, but I am not allowed out from lockdown until at the earliest, the 31st March… I’m all fed-up again, now!

The message came up to say the Amazon Alchohol-free-wine was one stop away! So, I took the two bags of waste, got them on the trolley, took one bag to the waste-chute, and the other down to the caretakers’ bin. Got down in the lobby and realised I’d not took the camera with me. So, back up to collect it, and down again. Cartilage Kathy and Arthur Itis both displeased with me, and hobbling was getting more difficult. The aches from Sock-Glide-Glenda didn’t help, either. I noticed the workmen had started doing some electrical wiring.

No sooner had I got into the front lobby than the Amazon driveress came it. All four bottles were in a box with cardboard dividers. That box just fitted in the waste box on top of the trolley. Hello, a bit of good luck there… it’s worrying, you know!

Up in the elevator and back to the flat, Josie came out to hand me the tray and utensils from the meal yesterday. But I was struggling to get the trolley-guide into the hallway. She asked what I was doing, and I told her. Trying to get the box of bottles out of the waste box, so I can keep them in it for when Sister Jane can get to collect them, but they were now tightly ensconced. Hehe!  So she took the dividers out of the delivered box and started to tear them up! I managed to stop her – it’s great when two deaf people try to communicate, innit!

I thanked her, I think, and got the box in the hallway. I took one out for Jenny, Doris and Frank, and can put the alcoholic ones I bought last November for Jane & Pete in with them later. I nipped the wine and mixers down to Jenny’s; it was lovely to see her again after so long, from a distance, of course. I got back up to prep the meal.

I strained the leeks and put them with a can of American Chili-Con-Carne, in the saucepan. Added a little more grave seasoning, and some passata with basil, to the mix.

Then updated this blog to here and now must go check on the fodder. Ah, already, so I added some potatoes, stirred it and got the crock-pot washed. Very late for me now, poor old sausage. Hahaha! A Taste-Rating of 7.5/10 given.

I hoped to watch ‘Tales of the unexpected’ for an hour, and I was awake when it started. But only managed a minute or two, and Sweet Morpheus took me into a sleep that lasted for about a good five-hours, of guilty nightmares, and I woke with a desperate need of the Porcelain Throne!

Imputed-Inchy, Saturday 6th March 2021, Diary

 ♥ Classy TFZer lassie Gladys! ♥

INCHCOCK TODAY

Saturday 6th March 2021

Igbo: Satọde 6th Maachị 2021

01:25hrs: I woke and lay there, desperate to claw back some of the memories of the many dreams I’d been having. But, it was not to be. I know that some were had a joyful nature to them, and I had the abilities (in the dreams) that have been long lost to me! Klappboggleworth! I could not remember any details… well, other than I was in raptures and Little Inchies fungal lesion was bleeding. So there had been some inordinately rare movement in that department!

The Daktacort ointment will have to be applied to stop the bleeding, so I have no choice other than to extricate my generously-over-ample stomach and body from the c1968 recliner, catch my balance of trot (limp) to the wet room to do so. I arrived, and I found I needed to utilise the Porcelain Throne first.

Oh, dearie me; Trotsky Terence was back in full-control again! A 3-0 win over Constipation Konrad. I’d just picked up the crossword book as well, in anticipation of the delayed kick-off that I’ve had for the last three visits to the Throne. The semi-liquid evacuation started at a fair pace. But things got stuck-up and very gooey, messy then. I waited, hoping that the mess would flow again, and even got three answers to clues!  Sure enough, the movement began also, but it was so squooshy, stinky, and a right flaming mess to clean up – with Little Inchies fungal lesion bleeding and dripping down the legs, and the PP’s down, naturally, this made it a mammoth job to clean up! Still, it didn’t bother me much; I just pressed on and cleaned it all up?

Fantastically, the bog’s first flush cleared the sticky mess and all of the toilet paper in one go? Not been known for months that!

Then, of course, the onerous job of medicating and cleaning things up in the front lower area had to be done. I started the last Dakacort tube and went through the as expected, painful job of applying the ointment. Ooh, argh, Eeek! But it stopped the bleeding in a short time (phew!) I washed around and changed the PPs, had a belated wee-wee, and went to get the Health Checks done.

I made a brew on the way, took the missed evening medications (Ahem!), and tended the Health Checks. The Boot’s Sphygmomanometer readings were SYS 166, DIA 76 and PULSE 92. All a smidge high, I thought.

The body temperature on the new contactless Chinese thermometer came out as 36.8°c – 98.24°f. For some reason, beyond my capabilities to work out, the Canon camera photo came out all red? But the screen was in light-green? Hey-ho! 

I went to open Excel to compare and record the readings on the graph, but guess what? I couldn’t access Word or Excel… Again!

Why do they charge me for extras I can’t remember asking for on MS Office, and then they deny me access. This is the third time they have updated, and I couldn’t use either for a day and a half! Well, I’m disgusted with them! Do the profitable morons think we are all idiots? Ah, well, in my case, perhaps! What do I do if, this time, it doesn’t come back on? I must think of another way of storing my medical recordings. It was so easy to start with to send them to the clinic, as well. Damned Microsoft Gits!

I got the Friday Diary finished. Emailed the link and Facebooked.

The ablutioning time arrived, earlier than usual. I usually do them at 08:00hrs, which should not disturb the neighbours’ sleeping (lucky monkeys!) With the Morrison delivery being due, twixt 07:00hrs and 08:00hrs, I had to start the session by 06:00hrs.

So, off to the stand-up ablutionalising session, I hobbled. As I took off the long bamboo diabetic socks, I decided and got them soaking in the kitchen sink to wash afterwards. I just can’t make my mind up or stop fretting and thinking, can I?

Back to the wet room. The nasal clearing went well enough, no bleeding or choking! Then I got the teeth cleaned, a lot less painful this morning, oh, three dropsies!

The shaving started, and a mystery found here; as I was bending down to pick up one of many dropped razor, some blood dripped down onto my nose? I investigated and saw a little cut on the top of my bald head? How? No razor goes up there, no need? Anyroad, it was only a tiny nick… possibly done by one of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court; the phantoms, kelpies, spectres, poltergeist, spirits, manifestations, zombies, demons, cacodemons, rakshasas, hellions, aliens, extraterrestrials, hobgoblins, apparitions, elfins, pishogues, apparitions, gremlins, and ghostly goo-like Ectoplasms! Hehehe!

But I did better shaving the face and neck, not a single nick at all!

I had to wash the new tackle department, of course, if I triggered the fungal lesion off again. All went well, then the getting on of the new bamboo hosiery, and not using Sock-Glide-Glenda, either! Which proved a painful experience and a mistake, perhaps? Tsk! Rolling up the first sock, I cunningly placed my bum in the corner of the room to try and avoid going over. Noteworthy, the hose went on at the second attempt, and I could have sung-out with joy! (I think I did, actually?)

Then with the second sock, things did not go so well… As I was full of confidence now, I rolled up the hose but could not get the Cathy Cartilage and Peripheral Pete affected right leg up high enough, and foolishly, stood with the leg part-way up to the other knee, and over I went! Clattering down the wall and hitting Harold’s Haemorrhoids on the floor cabinet on my way to the floor!

However, I did get them on eventually! Hahaha!

The silver-linings were that the piles did not start bleeding, nor the fungal lesion. So, although I was annoyed at myself. I realised it was my own stupidity that caused the calamity, so no moaning from me about it! (Well… a smidgen, perhaps?)

Got the Germoloid on the haemorrhoids, some more cream, well, ointment, on the fungal lesion, and olive-oiled the ear-holes. Sprayed some manly deodorant all over me (Old Spice, I think?),  started coughing, and tidied the room up. Off to make a brew of Glengettie.

Washed the socks and got them hung above the sink to drip dry. I’ll move them nearer the heater when it’s safe to do so, and no chances of any dripping. (Pork or beef! Hahaha!)

Back on the computer, but the delivery was due, so I thought I’d go and help the man carry the stuff up to the flat. What a mistake to maker!

I went down to the front lobby with the box on the trolley-guide; at least I should help a little in getting the bags back up to the flat. The man was not a very lovely person and seemed to take an instant dislike to me before I said anything to him, apart from, Good morning! He was keen to see my I.D., and I told him it was up in the flat? He checked my date of birth. Questioning each detail. I put two of the lighter bags in the box on the trolley and began to take it inside… as I turned, the man was driving off!

So, there I was, stuck downstairs, and somehow had to get seven bags of food up to the flat! I really did knacker myself.

  • I had to carry some bags individually into the lift foyer.
  • Go back and collect the others, take them through.
  • Return back and get the trolley with the two light bags on it, and get them to the lift foyer
  • Then, when the lift arrived, I had to manage it so that the door didn’t shut on me, get the six loose bags into the cage, then the trolley and box!
  • As I got to the twelfth floor, a chap was not pleased that he couldn’t get in the elevator. I have been sneered at a few times, but this man was an Ace at it! I felt awful!
  • Got the bags, trolley and box out onto the lobby floor… To make things worse, the lift door shut on the man… I could fell the virtual arrows coming my way!
  • Next, I had to move the bags and trolley to the loft lobby door, get the loose bags through, then the trolley and me inside. Carry them down to the front door; I was struggling by now and feeling a little strained and drained!
  • At got the bags and trolley inside and had to stop. I just stood there fighting for me to breathe for a couple of minutes.
  • Then I took the bags through to the kitchen, put them on the floor, and needed another minute or two to properly collect myself.
  • Collated the bags and got them sorted out… slowly, very slowly!
  • They had sent that horrible seedy bread, not the white sourdough I was looking forward to having tonight. Crap!
  • The ice-cream had partly melted!
  • The tomatoes were squashed!
  • The swiss roll mini-cakes were mangled entirely!
  • The fridge looked a little bare, to say all the stuff I’d just put in it?
  • I think I must have been having a funny-moment, that wasn’t funny!
  • One of the tubs of Custard & jelly was broken, plastic split!
  • But was I bothered? Did I mind? Yes, I bleeding did! I felt right, cheated and mistreated!

Luckily it didn’t bother me too much (Lying Swine!)

Back on the computer, still short of breath and coughing something rotten again! The worst thing about the whole farcical delivery was that it had destroyed the unaccountable lightheartedness that I’d been enjoyed for a day and a half! Now, Depression Dennis was taking a hold on me.

I sourly updated this diary with the above details, then the sneezing started? What’s going on here?

I tried to remember the things I had not done earlier and conducted my scribbled notes. I tried the crap, overcharging, shitty, unreliable Microsoft Office programs again.

What a pratt, I actually thought it would open and work! Not the way my luck has changed in the last two hours or so! So, no updating the medical figures, then! I’m getting low now!

Ah, I remember, it’s TFZer Shirley’s birthday. I’ll make a graphic and put it on Facebook.

I feel a little better now for remembering. ♥

I risked making myself feel more depressed by looking at the local Emagazine for anything worth promoting. Apart from local yobbo drug gangs letting off fireworks each time they get a new supply to let their pissant users know, the possibility of Nottinghamshire Covid-19 Vaccination centres might have to close, due to supply issues, there was not a lot worth reading about. Mind you, the Covid-19 new cases were well down over the last seven days. So, not all doom and gloom… even if I am currently in a ‘Doom & Gloom’ attack.

I decided to try the crap malted seasoned bread. It might be okay. I made up a cold meal, imitation Dagwood sarnies, pork & stuffing meat, and tomatoes. Chip sticks, roast onions and some sugar snap peas and got settled early to dine. Tray on my knee, feet up om the swivel chair, and tucked into the nosh!

The malted grain-seeded bread was worse than I’d hoped it would be, tastewise. But with plenty of pork, stuffing and butter on it, it worked out to be enough to mask the bread a bit. I gave it a Taste-Rating of 6/10.

Washed the pots, and settled down to watch some TV, Auf Wiedersehen Pet and Rosemary & Thyme, 2 episodes of each following each other. Of course, I missed most them, thanks to the kind for once Sweet Morpheous allowing me to nod off into a dream interrupted but much-needed sleep! Ah, nice!