Inchcock’s Odes to Why?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

WHY COVID?

Covid-19 and Sars-CoV-2, why they came, is what I’m thinking?
Government confused findings, need reabsorbing…
Pandemic and HMG hold a party, hobnobbing?
Annoyed me, so this Ode I’m now scribing…
Yet, to their rules, I’ve been acquiescing,
Two years now, since any Doctor interfacing,
Definites, the Government are sidestepping?
I feel like I’m permanently convalescing,
Anti-maskers are not exactly applauding…
Anti-vaccers protests showing no signs of concluding,
Jab or mask-wearing? Some are not deciding…
I follow the guidelines, but it can be confusing,
Doing what you can to protect others is frustrating,
Between the Do’s and the Don’ts, there’s bile offloading,
No give or understanding of others, compassion is subsiding,
Sarcasticness abounds, even where I am residing!

Coronavirus arrives, HMG problems beginning,
Changes meant more hassle, problems teething,
Proletariats, needing hopes strengthening,
Some vague chance of things improving…
New strains, deaths, started the mudslinging…
Ordinary voters started teeth-gnashing,
Anti-vaxxers and maskers began badmouthing,
But some uncaring folks just started shrugging,
Accusing HMG of ignorance and gross mismanaging,
The businesses set out to gain more profit – I’m seething!
Indeed, we should be encouraging, not rubbishing?

Official figures are baffling and misleading,
Dyscalculia makes it difficult in reading…
Have the Governments been Shanghaiing?
In favour of financing, from businesses and banking?
Are their advisors’ advising wrongly and failing?
Does their arriere-pensee to us need rethinking?
How do they stop the money-men from sabotaging?
The bankers, investors from profit-pocketing?
Indeed it’s impossible to stop them interfering and scavenging?

And, whatever’s happened to the political duelling?
No calls from Labour, as Kinnock would have been lambasting?
Lib-Dems are still about, are they? I’m just asking!
I think I worked it out; why is the silence blasting?
They both think, thank heavens, we are not ruling…
All this confusion, entangling… they’ve no idea of detangling,
So give Boris no bother, or at the subsequent voting…
The masses may vote for us, and we win… nonplussing!
The thought of us dealing with things is blood-curdling!
Labour in power, cause enough for frightful caterwauling!
Well, that’s enough of my HMG & Covid caterwauling,
Not such a good Ode, this one, it left me… Tsking!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY?

I’ll start with one event, the heart thing,
That was not unlucky; it did not leave me whining!
This operation saved my life… Else I’d have been missing…
The Hernia, Peripheral Neuropathy and Colin Cramping,
Cancer of the bladder, and stroke, and a lot of bemoaning. Hehe!

Being an unlucky sod can be so time-consuming,
Leaving very little time left for resting and vacuuming,
A Whoopsiedangleplop, maybe the Thought Storms brewing…
A memory loss, missed bus, lost keys or painful burping…
From near-deadly to a tap left running or finger burning,
Ailments, senility and old age means the end of by beep-bopping,
The worst is Vascular Dementia, the brain transitioning…

My diabetes and oedema cause much bother urinating,
Each morning, the feet will be either bloated or very thin,
It’s not so bad since I stopped doing my trampolining,
The tumbling or fallings is constantly threatening…

Neuropathy and Shaking Shoulder Shirley are disquietening!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I regularly get subconjunctival haemorrhaging,
Saccades and the new eye problems are definitely worrying,
Floaters, cataracts and glaucoma, almost frightening!
Everything taking longer to do, from the ablutioning…
Painful bending to retrieve dropped items can sting!
Oh, and evacuations on the Throne, and Wee-weeing!

I nearly always cut myself shaving,
Sometimes taking many minutes peeing…
Occasionally, taking only seconds at urine freeing!
The Porcelain Throne, often with evacuation misfunctioning.

Porcelain Throne options for me are; water-like spurting…
Which can be over like lighting!
Or resistant, rock-hard, and bloody,
Either or both are constantly hurting and agony!

Cleaning, me or the flat internally, is so burdening,
Seems nowadays to take an eternity, and much groaning,
Hardly any time for my beloved Word Pressing,
My confidence is egringolering…
My hearing is worsening…
Every task’s success is gimping!

The leaking blood through the plaster was bubbling!
But it was not at all troubling…
Cause actually, it made me do some laughing…
Which I found rather refreshing!

Inchcocks’ True Odes to Life Series

Inchcock’s Morning Musings – In Ode

Inchie Woke With An Idea For Today’s Blog Theme!

He went into Photographicalistical mode straight away. Well…

And after the traditional painful, challenging wee-wee,
He got his Canon camera and dropped it, accidentally,
Well, he’s getting senile now and rather elderly…
His thoughts and actions are slow, performed dottily,
He hurt his back, bending to retrieve it; he needed another pee!
Yet it still worked, so he took his first photo, jauntily…

He took it from the balcony,
The red van parked, again, illegally…
Yesterday, the lights shone brightly…
This photo came out fairish – a periodicity!

Clear morning, t’was no longer foggy…
The following two shots were taken in duplexity…
Top one to the north-east,
Second to the south-east,
Not so good these, my apology!.

He took an extra snap, using technology…
He’d zoomed in, to him that’s using gadgetry,
He went into a smug mode, as he did one correctly!
He even charged up the battery…
For him, that’s technological activity!

But the twerp couldn’t get the card to work
The computer was confusing the burke!
Card reader not recognised, he went berserk!
From his efforts, he did not shirk…
And by some miraculous quirk…
He got it to work, the jerk!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

After making a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea, stubbing his toe, and dropping the milk bottle, he cleaned the mess up. Took his CBD.

The formula was frivolously formulated for phrasemaking while Inchcock was busy cutting himself shaving. He can’t recall what it was exactly but decided that as he continued with his ablutions and medicationalisationing, he might get inspiration or a vague idea for a new plot. But, by the time he stopped the chin bleeding and utilised the Porcelain Throne, the earlier plan of his blog’s theme had plodded off into the ether, lost forever…

Teeth cleaning, nasal decongesting, and into the shower. Inchie banged his shoulder against the power-box (Dizzy Dennis to blame). Swore violently. Took his shower, then set about doing his medicationalisationings.

These went reasonably well (Did I say that?) The most painful bit of agonistically applying the stinging Betamethasone cream really was nowhere near the pain it usually was? This was a good start.

Treating Arthur Itis, Colin Cramps, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley, Ankle-Ulcer-Herbert. Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Saccades Sandra, Duodenal Donald, Back-Pain-Brenda, Little Inchies, Fungal Lesion were all medicated. The none Carer and prescription items were applied to many parts of the body.

Saccades eye drops. He was gobsmacked at getting some of the liquid into the eye, for once. Of course, he managed to get some in his nose and mouth as per usual.

A second hobbling speedily attended visit to the Porcelain Throne was followed by taking two Dioctyl® capsules. To counter Trotsky Terence’s return! Messy, very much so! Took ages to clean things up afterwards.

Carer Richard arrived. Soon got the medications sorted, and he made sure I took them and didn’t drop any, bless him.

It was his last call, so he spent a little while having a chinwagging session with me. The lad’s gone through many similar procedures as I have, but poor Richard got them a lot earlier in his life. Which I appreciated.

He’s coped amazingly well with things. A caring bloke, too.

He seemed to be cheery,
And, off Richard did flee,
I had another pee…
Colour chart for the wee,
Was on number three,
Now six, it smelt musty!
Oh, back to the lavatory,
Oh, what a malady!

Well Into The Afternoon…

But no one had told Inchcock, the chatterbox…
Chattering to himself, sipping dandelion & burdock!
Thinking he may just wash his socks…
A message comes through on his voicebox…
Unsolicited mail, through his letterbox…
He forgets the socks: arrears in his Carer fees shocks!
Over £400 – Oh, Hollyhocks!
That’s not what he said, but it also rhymes with Bullocks!
He plans to get it paid by the following equinox!

Supplementary Information

A change of nosh style, I’m watching the size of my hips!
Vegetarian sausages, peas, swede and lentil potatoes…
C
hilli sauce, onion gravy, a banana, oranges…Oh, and chips!
I forgot to take from the fridge the tomatoes…
And now my rear quarters blows and blows!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme Series

Inchcocks Attempted Escape Ode – It failed, of course!

Inchies Attempted Escape Ode

It’s Not Easy, You Know!

Getting out, that’s something of a rarity!

The preparation for escape overall, schmeered,
Is something that is trepidatious and feared.
But have to be, they have to have persevered,
Painful, dangerous tasks have to be furthered,
Here’s s graphic of some jobs needing to be completed…,

This Mornings Palavas

A smidge high, the body temperature today,
Nowt to fret over, it’s often been this way,
The sphygmomanometer gave 168/71… Hey!
Pulse 97 – blimey! Hope they go down, I pray!

Mike Fries CEO Liberty-Global – Virgin Media

Got sorted out, and low and behold,
Onto the computer, and I’ve got all frampold…
Liberty-Global Virgin Internet – went down six-fold!
My view of this crap firm must remain untold!
Or I may pass my anger-management threshold!

So Much For Taking One Of These!

To the Porcelain Throne and on the seat…
Passing the evacuation was an uncomfortable feat!
The runny gooey mess was finally complete…
Had to clean everything; I hope there’s no repeat!

I took the above morning medications…
None of them caused me any addictions!
Stubbed my toe, causing many ululations,
Noticed on the legs, more even vesiculations,
Such is life, full of irritating tribulations!

The prescription toothpaste a bit sour?
Eight dropsies shaving, three in the shower,
New soap today, scented with elderflower?
Dropped the sponge, bent, hit my head, Wowser!
Against the wall box that giveth the power.
Didn’t half hurt; it made me swear and cower!
It was still hurting after over an hour!

Ah, blood runneth from my private region!
Yes, it was from Little Inchies fungal lesion,
I’d not caught or banged it – what’s the reason?
Ointmentating hurt had to have an intermission!
At least the boils on the bum are in remission!

Humph!

Now to apply the Germoloids ointment,
Harold’s Haemorrhoids, ah, now so evanescent,
And the escaping blasts of wind were now conticent,
Oh, that Germoloid, it really is heaven sent!.

Now to use the soothing, mild Germolene cream,
On the stomach folds, eases the itching like a dream,
Another cream, with results I hold in esteem.
Nowt in this product to make me scream…
Not like Dakacort, that gives me agony I can’t redeem!m,

Saccades eye drops; next, you know…
I miss target often; it runs down my nose…
Cheek, then though the moustache it goes,
Into my mouth, how it’s not poisoned me, I don’t know?

Ear drops, well, Olive Oil,
No, bother, sweat or toil,
Hello, I’ve just found another gum boil!
Just doing the ablutions nowadays is a droil!

Into the PP’s, and freshened and dressed,
Suddenly felt at my embarrassingly awfullest…
Took me so long to get ready again…
I’d missed the bus; it’s such a pain…
I’d lost my desire a zest…
The bus had gone, too late, what a bain!
I now accept it… I’m going insane!

Part of The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme

Inchcock: Saturday 12th December 2020:

If it’s not enough, I can slip yer a few quid, Pattie! ♥

Saturday 12th December 2020

Hawaiian: Poaono 12th Kekemapa 2020

23:35hrs: Well, well, well, as I woke up, what a dream and-a-half I recalled having. The first time in months, I could remember bits, some lucidly. So, I got the notepad and started to scribble down the details.

Disappointingly, the recalled memories were disappearing fasting than I could write them down. Spurgledamnations!

I had a wee-wee, washed, and got the Health Checks seen to. Sphygmomanometer SYS reading had crept up 2-points, at 158. The Dia four points to 80 and the Pulse was up 10-points to 95. It was a right merry-go-round lately.

The Harpin Xian Di (well, it makes it sound posher, Haha!) Thermometer temperature was exactly the same as yesterday’s was at 36.8°c.

I’d finished the HC’s, and had just made a mug of tea, then the first summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived. The crossword book came out, as it soon became evident that this session was going to have the wee hours DESC (Daily-Evacuation-Stakes-Challange) won by Constipation Konrad, Trotsky Terence never got a look in, a 5-0 victory!

It was more painful than it has been than for a few days, took longer as well. Taking so much stressful effort to get things started. The plop-plopping told me it was of the meatball variety. They were of the hard rock variety, today. A bit of blood, but that was from poor suffering Harold’s Haemorrhoids. Unexpectedly, the cistern needed two hand-refills and three flushes to rid the evacuated product from the bowl. This does not bode well! But still, with things changing each time, you never know.

Had a good clean up and some medicating of the rear end, a wash, and back to the front room to take some of the Docusate Sodium for the first time. I’d already taken one of the Dioctyl® capsules, but I thought I’d try this medicine to see if it works any better, cause they ain’t doing much at the moment, to ease anything.

There was no way I could safely try to use the plastic spoon as instructed, with so many ailments that might affect my control while using the right hand. (Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters failing, SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Neuropathy Pete doing one of his uncontrollable right-leg dances, Colin Cramps or Shaking Shaun) So many that can and do attack without any notice. Are they bothered?

Took these morning shots of the view.

I threw the now cold mug of Glengettie tea away, and made a fresh one, taking it with me to the computer. I had the updating of the Friday blog done in a short time today. I needed four wee-wees in the process, though. Made another mug of Thompsons Punjana this time. Then I Pinterested some snaps, went on Facebooking, that took a good few hours to get updated. Sent the link off on email. Read and replied to the WordPress comments, and had to return to the Porcelain Throne.

Well, at least it was something different this time. Trotsky Terence was making more of a fight of it this time, but not much. I’d say Constipation Konrad had won 3-1. Just as painful while it lasted, but it was a quicker starting and shorter-lasting affair, Phew!

The leg-ankle looked to be settling down nicely.  Apart from I think, some new veins starting to burst through.

I was coming out of the wet room after cleaning up and walloped my right shoulder on the doorframe. Nicodemus neurotransmitters let me down with the distance awareness.

Of course, it didn’t bother a stalwart like me. There was no cringing with pain or frustrations, or silent-swearing about the accifauxpas whatever… no gritting of teeth, or sloshing on the Phorpain Gel. Oh, no, nothing like that! Spittalisations, it didn’t half-crunch! Took an extra Codeine and rubber in some Phorpain gel, well. Tsk!

The lovely brown hue was coming in the sky, so I took these shots.

Went on the WordPress reader section, some grand photographicalisations on there this morning. Then did a start on this blog. Things were taking a lot longer now, with typing, and error making and correcting – the shoulder-charge had set off SSS and Shaking Shaun! Even Dizzy Dennis visited me occasionally, on one of his calls, he nearly had me out of the swivel chair, it was close. Ah, well, yer can’t win em all!

We’ll take it that I continued to have wee-wees every half-hour, it’ll save me in typing-time. Grobblenangles! But I’ll no doubt still mention them.

07:55hrs: The template making needs to be done, this will be a long job. I made a start with the ‘Thought’ graphics.

10:20: Got the Thoughts finished, then went to make a brew of Glengettie tea, yet another wee-wee, Oh, my good night! Another visit, number-three, to the Porcelain Throne needed! Off to the wet room, still, I can take my pee at the same time.

What a change, not totally mind, it still took an aeon to start, the cunning devil quickly started to evacuate, and stuck where it was. Yet, on the bright side, I did very well with the crosswording, I got just wanting one answer to get. I gave it my shot, but it was lost. The clue was ‘Question’, only five letters, and I had three of them: _ R _ P _. Sadly, after weeks of trying to finish this one off, I had to cheat to get it. How I didn’t get it in the very first place, I don’t know – I felt such a fool! Gripe – Humph!

After all that time, things suddenly activated from the rear end, oddly some splurging and a lot of liquid flowed forth, again, painfully. But it soon out and clear, well, not clear, it was the opposite of the first visit, and messy, very messy affair. Utterly different colour (Karki) and texture, and funked something rotten!  The cleaning up and medicating took ages, and the cistern needed three flushes again. Oh, not bleeding whatsoever!

The innards were rumbling afterwards, not before? This liquid constipation medicine is not going to suit me at all. I wonder if the dispensing pharmacist has added something to it? Hahaha!

Got a good scrubbing up, cleaned the furniture, and off to the kitchen to make the mug of Glengettie.

10:55hrs: Back on the computer, to at long last, to make a start on producing the templates needed. And, by gum, it turned out to be the most extended ever session I’ve done on the computer at home, ever!

A few breaks though, many wee-wees and even more Porcelain Throne visits in between. The third one came as I settled to make a start on CorelDrawing to create the graphics. A fight-back from Trotsky Terence in the DESC (Daily-Evacuation-Stakes-Challange). A 2-1 victory.

A proper messy affair! Slow starting again, then a burst and all over. Literally, me the bowl… Hehehe! Once again a mammoth cleaning up job.

11:10hrs: Back to computing and graphicalisationing. Hard at it, now!

I plodded on, mistake-making, but not so many as usual. Ahem!

15:00hrs: Stopped to make a brew and take the medications. Back to the computer to allow the Glengettie to get cold. Humph!

16:00hrs: I made another mug of Glengettie. And the third, or was it fourth, Porcelain Throne visit was summoned. This time, a return of power in the DESC (Daily-Evacuation-Stakes-Challange), to Constipation Konrad. I lost a lot of time waiting for the activity to begin. Howled, Eurghrd and grimaced a lot when it did move, and the blood flowed, and the piles pained… Argh! More time cleaning up and medicating needed. This slowed the brain down, and the concentration required for the mammoth graphicalisationing session was hard to obtain, now. 

I made another mug of tea, Thompsons Punjana this time, to replace the gone-cold cup. The evening sky looked marvellous in the sunsetting sky. So I got my Nokia camera and took… No, my Nikon camera, and took this photo.

Another blast on CorelDraw then made up the templates, I was well-weary by then, and a few hours later, made a mug of Glengettie (yes, the last one went cold again, Tsk!)

I took these pictures in a close-up setting of the scene before me from the unwanted, unlike, impossible to get to for a 75-year old, old fart to get at to wash, most annoyingly light and view-blocking kitchen window.

At long last, after my being up and struggling for about 16-hours, I got the templates finished, Ahhh!

I was all-in now, feeling so drained after the session on WordPress and CorelDrawing. I gave serious consideration to stopping doing these Inchcock Todays. It is just too much for me nowadays. 

I’ll do them up until Christmas, and then try something different not so time-consuming. Perhaps daily photos alone. A made-up CorelDraw fun graphic? A poem or Ode, occasionally? I’ll try to think it through. However, I think I may be too addicted to stop? Hahaha!

The ailments can be such a bind sometimes. The Peripheral Neuropathy, Nicodemus’s dying neurotransmitters, SSS, Colin Cramps, Shaking Shaun, and the often causing falls and injury inclined Neuropathic Pete’s right-leg dances, etc. not helping. Worse with the lock-down of course, can’t get out to see and talk to anyone. Although I have no right to complain about the stroke, with so many poor folks far worse off than I am, after having theirs.

I’m waffling again, ain’t I? Sorry.

I made up a nosh, Irish potato farls, tomatoes, German ham, Marmite cheese, an apple and a pot of lemon mousse. It took me ages to prepare this simple meal, but I didn’t eat all of it. But what I did eat, I enjoyed, a flavour rating of 7/10 given.

I think with the innards and bowel being all topsy-turvy, it’s just put me off eating.

I got down in the recliner and put the TV on. After nodding-off and waking so many times, I turned off the telly.

The Thought-Storms were absent tonight, that was a refreshing change.

Inchcock – Friday 19th June 2020: Becoming a meconophagist appealled to me today. Hehe!

TFZer Mary

Friday 19th June 2020

Latin: 19 Lunii Veneris MMXX

Hope things are good and you’re okay!

03:30hrs: I bestirred, in need of a wee-wee. Detached my lumberous body from the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner, caught my balance, and woggled over to the GPEB (Grey-Plastic-Emergency-Bucket). Having a WOPT (Weak-Orange-Painful-Trickling) mode wee-wee. Then I stumbled my way to the kitchen.

But returned to the front room, to put some pain-gel on the toes, avoiding yesterday’s toe-stubbing blister. I took these poor quality pictures after the treatment.

Back into the kitchen. The light showery rain was falling, although it doesn#t show in this picture, it was coming from behind the building. I got the kettle on the boil and dug out the medicines and Health-Test Kit.

The medication pods The BP readings were little different from yesterdays. Sys was up, Dia and the pulse about the same as yesterday. The temperature showed up just ‘Low’.

I nearly made a silly blunder, and almost gave myself an Enoxaparin injection, that is not due until tomorrow. It was a close thing. Phew! I felt almost proud of myself for remembering in time. A smug-mode was engaged!

Moments later, when I took the medications out of the pod-pack, the static on the plastic cover, brought all the tablets out stuck against it, and they fell to the floor. Spreading the eight tablets to all four corners of the flipping kitchen! Grumph and Grobbleknangles!  The recently acquired Smug-Mode, dissipated!

By the time I’d gathered up the offending tablets and capsules, with all the bending down, the uncut toenails were stinging, and Back-Pain-Brenda had made herself known to me. Silver-Lining Search Result: At least I found them all! I gave them a dusting and took them.

As I poured the tea, I recognised that Arthur Itis’s knees were in the same state as they were yesterday, just stiff, but not overly painful at all. The showers overnight, and drizzle this morning, along with a delightful smell of petrichor is a sign of a storm brewing; or at least heavy rain is on the way. I know, I said the same yesterday, but I’ve got to get it right eventually. Hahaha!

I went to the wet room for another wee-wee. At least it was of a different type. An SSPG (Short-Sharp-Painful-Grey) variety. Not many folks have wee-wees that morph into a different colour and power each time. Humph! Washed and wiped the contact points, then off to the computer.

The concentration was difficult despite my being in a willing mood. No particular reason as far as I could tell, but it took me yonks get aa template for today done, then the updating of Thursday’s post. Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley kept having a go at me, but at least Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitter failure was rare for once.

It was the concentrating, articulating, emphasising and funnelling, optimising actions as needed that I found so hard. Also, I kept changing tasks and got lost as to what I was doing before. However, I finally got both jobs finished. I felt a little wishy-washy in the head then. Why? Gawd knows!

I went on Facebooking but gave up when I realised how the time had flashed by.

Off to get the ablutions tended to, back in a while. I hope

Oh, dearie me! Not one of my easiest of ablutionalisationing sessions! The legs looked like they were about to transmogrify again. Arthur Itis’s knees were a bit bloated, but as I said earlier, not bothersome really?

The teggies were painful to clean, with Toothache Terence making his presence know.

The shaving went much better today. A couple of razor dropsies, one dropped the shaving foam once.  Only one lone little cut.

Now, the showering… Gragglespitgurgle & Tsk! A few of the ailments had a frenzied festival of fun with me!

Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, launched one of his involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances, and over I went. Hitting the shower chair, but avoiding going all the way to the floor.  I got my lower right arm entangled with the metal Sock-Glide frame, as I reached out to prevent a full self-body slam. Arglebonkangony! The bruises came up quick.

This slowed me down a bit, I took extra-care after, in case another ‘one-legged Jive’  came on again. They don’t usually come on close to each other, but this one made me bit nervous. Still, apart from the pain, by the time I got around to finishing showering and onto the towelling, I was feeling much easier and more confident. Then…

As I was getting the creams for Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Arthur’s knees cream, Earhole Eric’s Olive Oil and Little Inchies fungal lesion cream; Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley had a go at me. I dropped the Olive oil, and Phorpain Gel. I calmy and unexcitedly, got the picker-upperer, turned back, and trod on the Olive Oil pot! Thus, it burst open, giving the poorly stubbed toe some gip, and spreading over the WC mat. Which now needs cleaning! Cribblebogsanagonies!

Crying was on option, but I resisted it!

Then went on the WordPress Reader.

I got the walker-guide trolley and popped down to the caretaker’s domain, with some bags of recyclables and waste. Took the two snaps below while I was down there. The first one of the dead-end of Chestnut Walk, the none in the opposite direction towards Winchester Street.

Back to the apartment, and I made a restart on this post.

Just before midday, I made my way down again, to visit the Mobile Shop. Apple pies, tomatoes and a loaf of bread were purchased.

I came back inside and up again to the apartment. Well, alright then, the flat. Hahaha!

Got the nosh prepared. Easy-peasy meal. A tin of chopped tomatoes, pork frankfurters, mushrooms and bread from the mobile shop. To follow, a lemon mousse (thanks Jenny), an apple and an apple pie!

I recall washing up and settling down to watch a replay football match.


That’s it. When I nodded off, I’ve no idea, so I don’t know what sleep I got in.

But in the morning, I noticed I’d miss the evening medications.

Inchcockski – Saturday 11th April 2020: If it can go wrong, it will!

Saturday 11th April 2020

Sudanese: Sabtu Kaping 11 April 2020

05:20hrs: I finally stirred, after luxuriating in about three hours sleep. Which was tormented by dreams of a disturbing nature, of which I have only impressions, no real detail, other than it took place underground, and ghouls were in there somewhere?

Despite the scarceness of kip, I almost bounded out of the £300, second-hand rickety recliner, within minutes of my waking up? Clutched at the walking stick, and made my way dodderingly to the kitchen…

I got to the kitchen, took the medicines, applied the medications; Saccades-Sandra drops, olive-oiled the ear-holes, tincture of the tooth, creamed the Harold’s haemorrhoid’s, Phorpain gelled Arthur Itis’s knees, and made a brew, all without the need of a wee-wee or the Porcelain Throne! This was not natural?

Booted-up the computer to update the Friday post. And had to create a template for the day first! But it was a marathon job, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Dizzy Dennis and Shaking Shaun all giving me a bashing. The worst, being Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitter nerve ends, continually working and stopping, making typing almost impossible. I was continually making errors without realising it and having to make corrections. I have no doubt there will be many that I missed, which is disappointing and frustrating.

The knowledge that I will eventually have to stop doing these blogs, as it gets harder and takes me longer every day, and knowing they can do nothing to help, sometimes get me down. But while I can, I will. I love doing them. Trying to add a bit of humour to them, must help me, in a fashion. Hey-ho, moan, groan and whine, over!

Having, many hours later got the job nearly finished, and my xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete called. Obviously, the lad hadn’t received the link yet, and he likes to read it early in the day with Jane. We had a natter, and I noticed that Stuttering Stephanie was with me again, getting more frequent lately. Anyway, he and Jane sounded in fair spirits.

They have had their big monthly parcel of food from Nottingham County Council delivered. Marvellous I thought. I quoted something along the lines of, A pool’s and big lottery winner, with a car and an electric bicycle, who live in a mansion, have been left a fortune in someone’s will, get their food hamper delivered. I’m told that because my aorta-valve replacement is not disabling enough, I don’t qualify. The peripheral neuropathy and dying nerve ends, the Stroke, using a stick or trolley-guide to walk, Dizzy Dennis, falling down or into something almost every day. Dropping things several times every day, Shaking Shaun and Shoulder-shuddering-Shirley, Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger sticking, Hernia-Henry, being deaf, Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters dying, having Arthur Itis (Rheumatoid arthritis), don’t seem to matter to anyone else but me! It’s a good job I’m used to suffering and pain, innit! Pete did laugh! That cheered up.

I got the link sent off. Went on the WordPress Reader, and got this blog started. It took me 7 hours plus, to get this far. I fear the time is getting close to having to stop, this really gets to me. The very thought of it, brought on my depression, like never before. No point in fighting it. I stopped and went to make a brew and have a look outside, see if any of the dog walkers were out, so I could photograph them. Disappointingly, no one was about. But, I did find some photographs I’d missed off yesterday, of some doggies taking their humans for a walk:

I all but dropped the Nikon camera, coming back in from the window again! Darned good job I had the wrist-loop around my hand! Phew!

The rest will have to be in shorthand I’m afraid. The ailment was taking over, and everything took so long. Sorry. It’s hours past my normal head-down time already.

Posted off the ailment, and started a template for this blog. As I started to create it, the doorbell chimed out.

It was Amazon, with the Nasal spray and Clementine juice.

I opened the spray box and left the heavier juice one in the hallway.

Back to the computer, and all sort of problems developed! The landline rang and flashed. It was Jenny, bless her. Her Sainsbury’s order had arrived, and Frank was on his way down with the items I’d asked to be added for me.

I hurried to put them away. Jenny had kindly written a list for me. That’ll £26 plus £13 I owe her now. The shop had substituted some bits. Mini cheddars, which I’m not too keen on, and last week they did the same, a double size pack as well. I’ve got the pickle flavoured ones arriving tomorrow via Amazon as well. She’s got some lemon yoghourt though. Tomato juice, washing up liquid, cherry-scented? And a tub of salt. Bless her cotton socks!

I tried to get the computer to take the photographs but ended up having to do it in a long-winded fashion, which cost me even more time.

I rang Jane and Pete to get my mobile number, cause I needed it to get back on the photo site. But I was too late, and it timed-out. So now, I don’t know where the heck I stand with it all.

Rang Jenny back, I was gasping a bit and Stuttering Stephanie was on form! I thanked her and told her I was going to go to the bank on Monday to get some money to pay her what I owe her with. She kindly said it was Bank Holiday on Monday, so I can’t get it then! Tsk! We nattered a bit, and we decided I’d go on Wednesday. She generously said she would write a note for me to give the taxi driver on Wednesday, asking him or her to wait while I go ion the bank, and bring me back afterwards.

Then I did some updating on this blog, but not for long. I need rest and sleep badly now.

I stopped and decided to get something for a meal. The easiest will be bacon in the oven, and a tin of tomatoes, I can use the last of the bread up with it.

Not feeling so good now. I hope to be back in the morning, to finish things off. TTFN.

Sunday Morning: 0545hrs: Updating.

I got the meal, I had a can of tomatoes, added some vinegar and hickory to it. The bacon, I cut of some of the fat and did it in the oven. Got it served with the medications. For once a good tasty one. Flavour rating: 7.5/10.

Got the dish in soaking, and had a go at the computer problem again.

I had more bother with the computer. Had to supply a password that was my mobile number, but I couldn’t find what it was! I rang Sister Jane at the Bratton Towers, and she and Pete eventually found it for me. But by the time I got to put it on it had timed-out! So, no progress there. Tsk!

The TV on, but of no interest, however, the need and desire for sleep were being ignored by my body and mind.

The landline burst forth and flashed. Sister Jane, concerned about the computer locking me out. Thought it might be hackers. I told her about the lack of sleep problem, saying how it doesn’t matter now about being woken up, as I can’t get to sleep in the first place. I think she might have been upset a smidge, and rang off, thinking I was moaning about being woken, which didn’t matter at all in fact.

This irked me, and I range her back, but no answer.

Switched to another programme and there was an interesting documentary on an underground city in France, and how the military had used it over the years. I thought my xyrophobia-suffering, chaetophorous, anti-epilation Brother-in-Law Pete might be interested in it. I rang again and got through this time.

There I was enjoying a great natter and chinwag with Jane, and I thought I heard a beeping noise. This was annoying me, I told Jane, and I went with the mobile in hand to have a look around. I was giving a running commentary as I investigated, but, could not find the source! Then a bleep-bleep, and I lost the connection.

I got back in the rickety recliner, and tried to ring back ‘This number is unavailable’. Huh!

Then I actually fell asleep!

Coronavirus, pavement cyclists, wars and insanity! It’s a funny old world, innit?

Inchcock Today: Wed 12th February 2020: Got to see the Doctor, who sorted out the Chemist for me, blood tests, hospital appointments coming, natterings… Busy, but great Day in a way!

Wednesday 12th February 2020

Welsh: Dydd Mercher 12fed Chwefror 2020

(Tue) 21:50hrs: Earlier in the day, I had a tumble, and got my head down early, hence the odd waking time. I felt much better after four hours uninterrupted kip. I was pleased to remember that I had the Doctors appointment coming up, and decided to go through the notes I had written to remind myself for the visit to see Dr Vindla, in the morning at 10:00hrs.

Huh! Could I find them? No! I went to search in the three-wheeler guider trolley, in case I’d put the notes in it, so I wouldn’t forget to take them. I got distracted when I found a letter and leaflet from Nottingham City Homes, had been put through the door.

The leaflet notification was about the, until now unmentioned fire in Winchester Court last week. Headed: Winchester Court Fire Damage. Apparently, it was the sprinklers that had flooded the place but saved lives, they told us in the letter. No mention of any flooding in the flat below, as Malcolm told us at the bus stop. There followed a list of common sense do’s and don’ts regarding a fire taking place.

I couldn’t help but see the funny side of one bit of advice. Know your escape routes in case you need them in an emergency – and make sure everyone who lives in your home knows how to escape! (All sensible stuff!)

Then I wondered if this included the Black biting Boll-Weevils, the ghosts, the aliens and or the Goblins? That I am sure are a natural part of the mysteries of my beloved Woodthorpe Court, that lies somewhere between the twilight zone and a wormhole slipping through a tear in the fabric of space & the spacetime continuum. With illusion, delusion, & hallucination. Hehehe! I am a fool!

In the envelope were a Newsletter and a Notice of ‘Variation of the terms of your tenancy’. I was not up to reading it all, though. Some jiggling and rewording had been done. Sadly, some additions, covering rent payment, Knives and weapons, electrical supply meddling, door closers, gas canisters, failure to allow access to contractors, safety checks. For sprinklers, alarms, carbon monoxide checks, and Do not block any ventilation or extraction fittings. The Nottinghamian tenants sound a dangerous bunch, Haha!

I made a new list of reminders and put it in the walker-trolley, with the Newsletter to read at the surgery later.

I made a brew of tea, took the medications and had a WAOQ (Weak-All-Over-Quickly) wee-wee. Then pressed on with updating the daily post. Got it completed and sent photos to Pinterest.

Then made a start on this blog up to here. Went on the WordPress Reader next. Made a brew, then visited the TFZer Facebook.

Nibbled some bikkies and had a mug of tea, and got the ablutions tended to, as quietly as possible, so as not to disturb the neighbours, a stand-up at the sink job. Can’t use the shower cause of the noise it makes.

Put the handwashing to soak in the bowl for after the shower and shave. 

Well, well, well, the pins looked Arthur Itis friendly! And, as if there was little blood in them this morning – good job I’m going to the Doctors later. Hahaha! But the ablutionalisationing went fine. Few dropsies, no cut and no bleeding! Yee-Haa!

I got a few graphics made up on CorelDraw. Then got some nibbles for the nurses in the trolley. The nurses aren’t in the trolley you understand? That’s where I put the bag of nibbles! Snigger!

I took two snaps of the tiny moon that lingered in the sky. Got the black bags on the trolley, and had a last wee-wee. Safety-First!

Made sure I’d got the bus-pass and ailments list with me. Camera in my pocket and set-off out for the hobble to Carrington.

Back in a couple or three hours. I hope!

(I’m back!) At the lift lobby, some more Winwoodhieghtean Artwork was spotted on the carpet. Down in the elevator and through the link-passage and out Winwood Court’s lobby door, and off on my wobble to Carrington.

By gum, it was cold out there! I had a little trouble controlling the three-wheeler-guide trolley at times but managed. I think with Arthur Itis coming on so strong caused the problem for me. Talk about Limpalong Cassidy, Haha!

I turned left along Mansfield Road en route and took these shots of the traffic. I can’t remember why I did. Maybe, to show the thriving hub of Sherwoods closed down shops?

I hobbled up the hill and down into Carrington. The famously snarled up traffic was going on later than usual?

In this snap on the right, although in the distance, is an animal of the Nottingham Pavement Cyclist variety. The buck-toothed young ignorant son of moron came so close to hitting me from behind as he belted by me! Still, it didn’t bother me… much!

I arrived at the Medical Practice and made my way inside to the reception desk. Where the lady smiled at me and welcomed me like I was a long lost Grandfather! That cheered me up! ♥

I got seated and started the crossword puzzles. A chap sat next to me, amiably started a confab, and we had a laugh or two, and he even got a couple of clues in the crossword for me. By gad, it’s good to get out and about on days like this! After a while, Dr Vindla came out to collect me.

Her first words when we got in the treatment room, was: “I’ve not seen you for while!” But instant reply (Made with a grin on my face!) was, “Have you tried to get an appointment to see yourself?” She retorted cleverly with; “Well, I can see your not dead yet!” With an even bigger smile than mine was! Gawd, I love that woman’s sense of humour!

We went through the problems I am having. And the results were; She sent me to the nurse for a sample and four blood tests. She’ll let me know when the results come back.

She contacted the Chemist for me and afterwards told me the prescription will arrive this Saturday. I pointed out that I only have a day-and-a-half of medications left, and it is four days until Saturday? I reminded her of the Carrington Pharmacy, 343-345 Mansfield Rd, Nottingham NG5 2DA, had left me without any for five days last month, and ventured that this may be part of my problems suffered? She got on the phone back to the Chemist, asked for the Pharmacist, and had a word with him, as I left to go to the nurse’s room.

As I came out after the marathon blood-letting session with the friendly new-to-me nurse, who I had in tucks telling her the names I’ve given my ailments, Dr Vindla came to me and told me that the Chemist is on the way here (The Medical Practice) now, with this month’s prescriptions! Now that is real service, bless her cotton socks!

I was over the moon! (Not literal, you understand?) I chatted to the receptionist between patient for a few minutes, and a pretty girl arrived, with the bag of goodies for me! She had written down for me, the date of the next ones was due. 9th March. I thanked her, and feeling cared for, and in high spirits, I thanked everyone again, and departed, whistling to myself, I think!

Unfortunately, as is usual when I start to get confidence or contented, something puts me back. In this case, I wobbled a bit going out of the car park and clouted my already Rheumatoid Arthur Itis suffering right knee against the brick wall, as I stopped myself going over. But hey, I wasn’t too bothered, its only pain! Hahaha! My gay-abandonment was only dented temporarily! I turned left, and, more limpingly than normal, made my way to the Lidl store down the road.

I was greeted there in true Lidl fashion, ignored! I ended up at the self -serve checkouts with, Fabric softener, a tin of garden peas, bin liner bags, Salt & Vinegar potato snacks, grated cheese and German smoked ham. I paid up, and out to the bus stop. Where I had another close call with a Nottinghamian Pavement Cyclist! Caught one to Sherwood, crossed the road.

Up the incline to the bus shelter, a ganglet of Winwoodonians were gathered. Some chit-chatting, sarcastic comment and light insults were shared. Hehehe! They chinwagged on the short trip up the hill back to the flats. Jenny, Nora, Frank and others.

The knees were bad now, and a chap must have seen me struggling with the trolley, and assisted me off of the bus. I fang you! As I limped through the Winwood Court social area, a lady must have read this blog and assured me that she would not be rude to me. Handing over the new frying pan incident). Bless her. ♥

I could not catch up with Nora and Frank en route to Woodthorpe Court. And, Nora is 91 years of age, still beautiful and a dignified lady! ♥

I went up in the next free list with Betty. We enjoyed a natter, mind.

I got in the apartment, and unloaded purchases, and put them away. Not a lot, but apart from the garden peas, everything else was actually needed, so I did well with not overshopping, I thought.

Arthur Itis was even worse than earlier, now. Mmm? Why though?

I got the prescriptions checked and stored away in the medical drawers. The dates on the PillMate blister packs were still wrong. 17th January. The dates on the individual packs were February 6th? But the voted 3rd best Chemist in Nottingham,  Carrington Pharmacy, 343-345 Mansfield Rd, Nottingham NG5 2DA, are at least catching up, slowly.

Got some mushroom and garden peas on the cook, and started the oven warming up for the chips later. And made a start on updating this blog.

Fatigued soon set in! So, I stopped on the blogging, got the chips in the oven, and got the handwashing done, rung and hung!

Then sorted the nosh. Bit of a feast, but I made too much of it for the stomach to cope with. (Again!) The waste bin took care of the uneaten stuff. Regarding the potato and cheese croquettes from Iceland, don’t bother trying them, folks!

Overall a taste-rating of 5/10 for this one.

I did the washing up and took a snap from the unwanted, light & view-blocking, photography hatingly designed with wide sticking out ledges so one cannot see below, thick-framed new kitchen windows. I was going to take one from the new balcony, but the incoming ice, snow and rain from Storm Ciara, had left water beneath the floor planks, and the crumbling wall plaster has fallen off in bits, gone under the wood in the stagnant water, and is beginning to smell a bit now. The picture didn’t come out too bad.

Aha! The TV was back on! At the bus stop earlier, one of the gals told me that the Fire Sprinkler installation crew had accidentally cut the communal cable. I thought as much! Still, obviously, they have now, three days later, got it repaired. Not that I mind really honestly. Falling asleep watching DVDs in just as easy to do. Hahaha! 

I got the ox on and started to watch a documentary, no, I’m wrong. It was The Dog Rescuers, on channel 54. I was doing well and stayed awake for the whole of the first part, then the advertisements came on… Zzzz!

Inchcock Today – Sunday 12th January 2020: A querulous, unsettling day.

Sunday 12th January 2020

Welsh: Dydd Sul 12fed Ionawr 2020

23:00hrs: I woke, with a frustrationalisticness, due to my not being able to recall the dream I’d been having, but had the idea that I wanted to, so I could mention it on this blog. Ah, well, no idea what it was about!

I lay for a short while, considering my few remaining options in life. My bucket list, and needs, hopes and inspirations. Plans for the future. Desires and needs! This took me about two minutes!

I began to reluctantly wrench out my dilapidated, somewhat flabby-bellied body from the £300 second-hand, c1968 recliner. Arthur Itis immediately complained in his usual fashion and stung me with some pain-giving twinges. I got up into a semi-perpendicular stance, grabbed the stick, and hobbled into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

As soon as I pressed the power button, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived, urgently! Again, it was a close call getting there in time, and what a session this was! Bloody, messy and most uncomfortable. For a description of the evacuated dollop, think a torpedo-shaped long bale of hay! Cricky, I’m glad now that I didn’t eat much of last night’s meal! I might still be sat on the Throne now if I had! Certain areas needed sanitising and medicating, with TLC! Had a wash and back to make the brew.

With the struggle in passing, I mixed a sachet of the Macrogol first.

Then made the brew and took the medications.

To the computer, and started things off with the updating of Saturday post.

As I began typing, a few things became apparent to me. Saccades Sandra was going to give me some hassle. Duodenal Donald was stabbing at me. And I had some new growths to join the old one, on the right hand! They came out almost orange in the photograph? Not a lot surprised me nowadays with the ever-changing ailments. But this did.

The updating took less time than usual, as I had condensed things, in an effort to spend less time on the computer, and get some cleaning up done and much needed rest. I got it finished and posted off. Then went to make another mug of tea. As well as the photo above, I took a couple of pictures of the view from the unwanted, light & view-blocking new windows.

The first one through the opened window, the second from inside. As the rain was soaking me through with the window open.

Back to the computer and…

Then…

The wee-wees had been persistent all morning, so I went for yet another. Most of them were in the LBRWS (Long-But-Reluctant-Weak-Sprinkly) mode.

While waiting for Liberty-Global Virgin Media to return on-line, I went to tidy up the kitchen (Gawd, it needed it!) and make yet another drink.

I went to get out next weeks medicine tray and realised that there wasn’t one, I’d just used up my entire supply? I rather hope the new ones will be delivered today!

Life is something that tests one’s patience, especially people like medical patients! Haha!

Back to the computer, and Liberty-Global internet was back on, but fluctuating between slow and dead-slow, now!

I went on the WordPress Reader. Then posted some Pinterest photographs. And yet another urgent calling to the Porcelain Throne arrived. This time it was an even-closer shave to making it to the seat in time! I took a very poor, although I didn’t realise it at the time, snap of the knees. With Arthur Itis giving me such bother, I expected they would be all bloated and warped, but no, they seemed okay to me? Hey-ho!

I made a start on this blog for a while (with many wee-wee and Saccades Sandra delays). Then decided to try to write an ode I’d been thinking of while doing this blog, but had forgotten what it was about! Humph!

I was suddenly hungering and hankering for something to eat for brekkers. I made a mug of Thompsons best tea and had a packet of salt & vinegar Chipsticks, the last jam tart and a bar of orange club biscuit! Followed with a few cashew nuts. But not a lot!

Then decided to get the ablutions done, as it was gone the witching-hour of 08:00hrs. I had a change of plans (I’m well-known for this, you know, Hehe!) and decided to take the black bags to the chute.  Then down with the recyclable carrier and carrier of glass for the small bin. I chanced to take them down, using just the walking stick.

And I was doing well until I got into the three flats hallway and a visit from Dizzy Dennis was suffered. I didn’t go down or anything dangerous, but I did drop the bag of empty glass jars and bottles! None broke either, but the noise they made, has most likely made me as popular with the other tenants, as Nigel Farage would be at the Liberal Party Conference! Humph!

I pointlessly whispered an “I’m sorry!” And carried on into the lift and down and outside with the bags. It dawned on me; I had not taken the two black bags to the chute! It was raining and windy out there, so I got the job done as quickly as I could to avoid getting soaked and returned to Woodthorpe Court with the rubbish-bags. Remembering this time, to deposit the black bags in the waste chute, and avoid clouting my head on the lid this time. Which I did! Smug-Mode Adopted!

Back to the flat, and tackled the ablutionalisational duties. A few dropsies and it went pretty well for me until it came to the dreaded Sock-Glide Battle. Two trapped fingers, on for each sock, both forced me into a quietly uttered few words of an intemperate nature. I also noted while in the shower, (apart from not, I say Not, dropping the soap or showerhead), that the tiles on the wall were getting a tad grimy looking.

The pins had changed a little. The ankle swelling had gone down a lot.

Signs of Venous Insufficiency, and spider, femoral veins were slowly coming back a little more prominently.

Thankfully, Arthur Itis was seemingly easing off somewhat too.

So I got out the Mildew and Mould sprays and created a cunning plan! Oh, yes! I would sit on the shower stool and reach down to the lower tiles, and stand on it, to reach the higher ones. Good eh? The very moment I hit the floor after falling out of the chair, I knew this was not going to work after all! I struggled back on my feet and applied some Phorpain Gel on the elbow and shin. Buenos Dias! Int’ life a gas? Hehehe! I withdrew from the Mildew-removal activities area, and guess what?

Porcelain Throne duties No.3 were needed! A good job I was so close to the WC bowl, as things moved along fast and almost caught me out again, a sort of self-starting and finish when the innards felt they were ready to, session! However, a third-variety of evacuation followed. No bleeding from anywhere, very little pain, the enormity of the released product seemed less this time. It’s a busy day for a Sunday!

The rain seemed to have stopped, but the sun was in and out a bit regular, so I left the lights on. I nipped out quickly (quickly, hahaha!), to go on the rooftop of Winwood Court, to try and catch some photographs while the sun was shining.

Huh! another change of plans. I just remembered that I have no tablets left! So I rang the Pharmacy, without realising it was ‘Sunday’, what an idiot! I’ve got enough Warfarin and Simvastatin for today, but desperately short of Codeine. So, somehow tomorrow, I’ve got to call the chemist and find out what’s happening, and also see the Bank Manager. Hang on, there’s Mo’s funeral to go to on Monday! I’m getting all confused, sad, and going on a downer now!

Still, Josie’s nosh to be prepared yet. How can one go from so high to so low in an instant? I’d better make a start. I noticed while getting Josie’s nosh prepared, that the odd orangey-red marks on the right hand had disappeared or dissipated altogether? But the two older scars were still there? I baked on smoked haddock-cheese and potato rissole a little longer today. Put some of the Tuna with mayonnaise and sweetcorn on for another trial for her. Sliced tomato, mushrooms and garden peas. A can of Gin & Tonic, and a limoncello dessert top round it off. Makes it a bit of a change for her to try. I hope she likes the new stuff. I delivered it spot on the usual time, as anyone who is a personal chef should do. Hehe!

I got back inside, and Shaking Shaun had a go at me. Left me in a bit of a dodgy condition as I plated my own nosh, Dizzy Dennis joined in the ‘Let’s-get-at-Inchcock’ session.

To be frank, memories after this part of the day, do not exist. But I woke later in the evening, panicking.

An Ode to My Ailments

Barry Bladder & Hernia Harry

I went in the QMC for a Hernia operation,

Summat else came to the surgeons attention,

He said he’s found cancer in the bladder,

But not to worry, he said as we had a natter,

He’d lasered both problems with antimatter!

But I suffered later, Harry returned, it’s mind over matter!

 

Duodenal Donald

The problem was soon outright,

Although it was a bit of a fight,

The surgeons said it’d be risky and tight,

But things should come out alright,

But couldn’t stop the bleeding, that was a fright!

They did stop it finally, to my delight!

 

Haemorrhoid Harry

I have to say, this left me feeling sore,

But surely it will mean, Haemorrhoid cream no more?

No suppositories, prodding, probing, Cor!

But they returned, worse than before!

 

Aorta Albert

A bit of a shock, when I saw the Doc,

She said you’re a chip off the old block,

Your Dad had such an op, a bit of a shock,

Makes a change from operating on your buttock,

But you’ll pull through me old cock!

 

Sandie Seer

Twitching eyes, jump and jerk,

But when steady, they still work,

Though not a regular querk,

It can drive you berserk!

 

Nerveless Nigel

Diagnosed two weeks before the stroke,

By Dr Rahannmuta, a wonderful bloke,

Not averse to a laugh and joke,

Although I don’t, he said you must not smoke!

And gave me a year, before the nerve-ends die, get broke.

 

Suzie

Worra shock, I was in a terrible mess,

Couldn’t wash, shave or even dress,

Two months hospitalisation, no less,

Why I ask, but it remains answerless,

The After-Stroke Physio leaves me breathless,

But certainly not painless!

There are periods when I feel brainless,

But some helpers have been invaluable, God Bless!

 

SSVB

(ScabsSpotsVeinsBulges)

Caught this in the Stroke hospital ward, one can’t forget,

Blood-papsules, weals, scars, lumps, bulges, a guaranteed bet,

Welts, contusions, blemishes, dapples, maculations, invariably on the legs set,

Thrombophlebitis and assorted Clopidogrel grooves and ridges show,

The legs appearance change every day, a new vein or burrow,

A reaction to a changed medication, they say to me,

Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism or VTE,

What next, can I charge folks to look, Hehehe!

Right-hand side sensory nerves are almost kaput,

The neurotransmitters, nearly as dead as a mutt,

I’m even getting boils and growths on my butt!

 

Myasthenia Gravis (MG) – The latest ailment.

 This was written, to cheer missen up, and it did!

I thank you!

Inchcock Today: Sunday 5th May 2019

Sunday 5th May 2019

Welsh: Dydd Sul 5ed Mai 2019

04:15hrs. Woke up, which I was well pleased with doing (Haha!), after getting to sleep late and suffering panic attacks as I realised I was laying where the Stroke took place and felt a little bilious. Of course, during the stroke, every orifice emptied out, I mean every one of them, and I threw-up first thing. Somehow it frit me, and I began to be scared of going to sleeping? Silly old thing. I felt right fermished!

Got a shower and shave straight away in case the morning carer bloke comes early.

Caught up with blogs at last.

The Carer man arrived, and he was a different one again. Which meant I had to try and remember how the Foot-Retainer straps have to be fitted. Farcical really. The three carers who I’ve had so far, have all got it on in a different way.

Now, because it wasn’t fitted correctly, I have a danger of the ankle going over and am not confident when walking. Not that it matters too much, I have no intention of going out today.

But you can fall down anywhere when the ankle goes while the Axonotmesis nerve shakes are on!

My mind scares me at times. Hehe!

Did his best, but the printed guide is not very clear for using.

The grip has to be washed and dried using no heat every two days… How am I supposed to find the time to take off the device (then I am in danger of going over) and wash it to get it dried in time for his visit at 0700hrs the following morning? Had I had a spare one, all would be okay. Nice chap though, he helped me search for the hearing aids that I’d misplaced. Surely they know how panicky I feel as it is, trying to remember the whens, whats and times for doing things that I need, that I have already forgotten about… that came out wrong, yet it is right? I think.

I made a list of things to ask about and wrote them on the notepad. Said cheerio to the chap, who said it would be another carer again tomorrow. That could mean more fun with learning about the straps. Hehe!

Then I went on Facebook, while the brain was not too bad. Then, I made a start on this blog.

Went to make a brew of tea and put the oven on to warm up ready for the baking of the giant potato. Seeing the Teddy Bear someone (Marie?) sent me, I’m naming him Cuddles! And the beautiful Koala Katie that was sent to me when I was ill earlier cheered me up exponentially. 

Oh, is that the right word? I’ll check on it… Yes, exponentially! Hehehe!

But, the shakes started when I got the kettle on, which prompted the legs to join in. Tsk! Then the brain went on strike again. Still, I made the brew and remembered to put the oven on. Smug Mode engaged!

Then I realised I had not taken the medications, so did so. But I could not find any cheese for the spud, so decided to have the out of date polish ham and some instant mash with a boiled egg.

But this didn’t happen. I was so tired I just had some bread thins with the Polish Ham and some sliced lightly salted tomato slices. Then a pot of mandarins in juice.

However,  I misjudged my appetite. I managed two of the sandwiches and most of the tomatoes, and only a few of the mandarins, but I did drink all the juice. I didn’t have anything else to eat at all, but I just was not hungry in the slightest. Not like me at all!

Did some work on this blog.

Gave up, as concentration was poor. So I made up two black bags and took them to the waste chute. I used the stick but found that the ankle-support was not working and it was hard work walking. When I returned to the flat, my next door neighbour Doris was calling me through my flat door asking if I was alright. A warm glow of appreciation came over me, and I adopted Appreciation Mode!

She came in, and we had a little chinwag. .She offered to make me something to eat and a mug of tea. I declined. Partly because didn’t want to be a nuisance and the fact that was just not hungry at all. She departed, bless her, saying she would check-up on me later. How kind was that?

I wasn’t feeling too bad, just not hungry and a little weary. I thought I’d watch a DVD episode of Primeval. Fell asleep in minutes of it starting.

When I woke up, I didn’t know if Doris had been in to make her check on me.

So I took of the foot-retainer and got it washed using some liquid soapflakes.  I hung it up to dry above the sink, but I’m not sure if it will be dry in time.

Then I did a few pots.

I called on Doris and explained I did not know if she had called on me as I’d nodded off, and was about to get a shower and shave. She was very kind and told me to take care. She pointed out that tomorrow is a Bank Holiday, and questioned if the Carer will be working or not? I bade her the same good wishes, thanked her and a good night.

Going back in the flat to the wet room, and the ankle gave way – No support on you see. And they tell me not to walk without it on… How? When only one, that requires washing every two days; and drying without heat, has been supplied? I can’t win here! I added this problem to the notepad, to tell the Social Services lady when she comes.

I had an excellent refreshing shave and shower. Taking care in case the ankle went over again, it didn’t though.  The sock glide was used with a degree of ease, but it still took me fifteen minutes to do both socks. I changed into my nightwear, (No photo, there is a limit to my people-shocking, Hehe!), and checked on the Ankle support I’d hung on the coat hanger in the hopes that it will dry enough to be used in the morning. Naturally, it was still wet.

I decided to finish some more of this diary, then go on Facebook and the TFZer pages for a while.

I took this photographicalisation of the sky through the unwanted, light and view-blocking new kitchen window, of the ominous looking evening sky.

I made a mug of tea. It dawned on me, how little tea I was drinking since getting home? Only my third cup all day, although I had drunk some bottled spring water. Ah, it might be because of all the warm watery milk, masquerading as tea, that I’d been getting in hospital and the care-home? Haha!

Went on the WordPress Reader. Then on TFZer Facebooking.

Before I realised it, it was gone eleven o’clock!

Got settled in the recliner, and it took a while to drop off to sleep, but it was restful when it did come.