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I was unquestionably out-of-it, more than with it, this stuttering, confused, mind-bending Saturday.
A mind-bending Saturday? Why? 
I’ll try to recall things, but many will be missed, hopefully. Cause they are bound to involve failings, Seizures, daydreaming, going off-track, and various minor calamities with the Catheter (again!), glaucoma and cataract problems, and other bits of depression,  moaning and self-pity. Which will not be missed or of interest. It is now Sunday morning at… no! Sunday afternoon just gone, 13:30hrs, and I’ve only just started this blog. I do not want to moan. 
No doubt the serious bits may get a mention, Ahem!
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I stirred back into pretend life at 07:20hrs. Jumped out of the bed and did a double back-flip, while yodelling and picking my nose, landing on one foot and started shadow boxing… Haha!
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Grumpliy, noticing that during the 5 hours of unbroken sleep I’d enjoyed, the Catheter had only amassed about an egg cupful of urine from the bladder. More problems to cope with, but I’m just saying, not moaning.
The following four lines on the memory pad were unreadable, but it was probably miserable stuff, moaning again, so not to worry.
It was more painful than usual. Maybe she’d been giving me some hassle while I was sleeping, and that was why she was more stinging than usual? I’m not moaning! I then sorted the three waste bins into one refuse sack and bound it. And took a couple of snaps of the glum morning view of the skies, with little puffy clouds on the horizon.

Carer Ejaz arrived, I greeted him, and we had a careful, slow dance. I’m not joking. We are both bonkers, maybe. And Ejaz took it steady, ’cause he knows how painful my shoulder’s been lately. Ejaz called the District Nurses again about the Catheter. He is fasting on his second day until evening; then I can offer him some nibbles of his choice and an iced coffee later. Ejaz issued the morning medications, tablets, and medicine. Then got some Phorpain Gel on my right shoulder. Checked the scuff marks underneath the Catheter straps, and applied some of the acne & eczema cream on them.
Also, put some under the massive, seal-like but wobbly belly fold that I’ve gained since not being able to get out much. Well, at all without a Carer.
But, I’m not moaning, just saying!
Ejaz then checked if I’d done my teggies, olive-oiled my earholes, and used the Anusol or Germoloid creams on Harold’s Haemorrhoids yet. I had probably written four lines of undecipherable bad writing on the notepad. Oh yes, I’d also undergone a visit tothe Porcelain Throne.
I’d have thought I’d remember that without being prompted. I can now.
It was a right gooey, sticky affair. But at least it was back to a brown shade.

Started the Friday blog well late in the day. I went to make a brew of Glengettie, which I’m sure of doing. Not sure if I actually made one. Why? The haziness dawned. I started on the computer and found myself doing CorelDrawing and Painting, in between other things. I got myself in a right pickle, and forgot all about this blog needing to be done. Hours later, it dawned on me, at the same time Darius dawned. Nothing had changed from when I was mindlessly, but contentedly making mistakes in CorelDraw, doing things that didn’t need doing until Sunday… I think.
Then, I lost interest in doing anything, and… this is true. I woke up in bed hours later. I can’t even recall getting into bed, and it is a painful job for me to do, and I still can’t remember doing it. I was all over the place, mind-wise, for a while as I lay there trying to figure of why I was in bed.
Getting out-of-it is another struggle. I resisted at first, then realised the Nurse may be calling, and feared she may have been while I was in the land of nod and would not hear the doorchime. Unsure, I got up, painfully, grabbed ,
and went to the front door to see if any notes had been put through the letterbox. A Royal Mail envelope lay on the floor; it was from HMG, and I left it there. I’d not taken with me.

I got back on the computer and, instead of starting the blog, I went on Amazon and placed an order! I found this reminder on Sunday afternoon, when I saw an email telling me I’d ordered some stuff. I investigated : what the heck had I ordered now? I went to the Amazon site.
Paper table-bowls? What? I’ve got dozens of them in the kitchen cupboard. I need help.
Bombay potatoes; Well, that’s okay, I’m down to my last packet.
5litres of bleach? I am aware that bleach nowadays is weaker. I know this because when I pour some washing-up liquid & bleach into the mug or mugs to soak them, they used to come out sparkling clean. Now, it takes half a bottle for it to be effective. But what made me think this was going to work? And per litre, it’s twice the cost of the ones I was using? Dad used to call me doollaly (Not in possession of all one’s mental faculties), and now I am doollaly!

Then, wandering off topic again, I put the clothes that weren’t yet properly dried in the wetroom, leaving the bank-balance-buggering immersion heater on to get them dried. Hanging on the shower rail. I used the long picker upperer to get them up. Being in the wet room reminded me of something… I still had not completed the Phoo test kit for returning to the Bowel Cancer Programme at the Queen’s Medical Centre Hospital. Fancy me forgetting something!

The day was almost gone, and after Ejaz departed after his teatime call, I got the meal prepared. All soft and edible with anyone like me, short of teeth, with those remaining chipped, cracked, loose, painful, and no doubt missing their fallen-out or pulled-out neighbours.
Instant potatoes made with no-butter butter, sea salt, and red Leicester cheese, in the bowl, bashed and mashed together. I added Teriyaki sauce on top.  
To leave it a while so the sauce seeps down into the spuds.
I closed the computer down while crying and cursing myself for not being with it enough to realise I hadn’t started the blog yet. Ran a scan check and went to put the spuds in the microwave. Then got some bread, pickled green tomatoes, and red peppers (I had to ask Ejaz to open the jar for me earlier). Looked and smelled so good. Added the last of the sausages and microwaved the pots & hostages. No, Sausages. Sorry, Herr Keir Starmer. Hahaha!

A last snap of the amazing, most baffling, out of touch, disoriented, out-of-the-loop, abstracted, inattentive, sidetracked, absent-minded Saturday of this year. The sky in this photo turned out a smidge brown?
I’m not moaning, just saying!

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TTFN

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Nottingham Victoria railway station, a grand 12-platform terminal opened in 1900, was demolished between 1967 and 1968, shortly after closing on September 4, 1966.
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06:45: I forced my body to wake and took off the nocturnal Catheter pouch. NEXT! Then I needed the Porcelain  Throne. Messy again, very messy, phooey.

Carer Ejaz arrived as I was sorting the waste bins. He issued the medications and fitted a new day Catheter. 
A few scars on the right leg were treated with cream. A few knew welts had appeared since yesterday.
The top strap seemed to be trapping the tube from the bladder & Little Inchie. No urine was flowing through the tube to the bag. I couldn’t see any urine in the penis-to-bag tube either. This caused me concern throughout the day. The pain increased slowly in Little Inchie. I couldn’t remember (How many times have I used this statement? Hehe!) how the top strap fitted near the flow pipe. But it didn’t seem trapped; only a little urine was passed throughout the day. The uncomfortable bladder flow-back pains persisted.
We decided to see how it goes; sometimes this happens, and a relief-giving flow starts after a while. Ejaz said he’ll call the Nurse if it hasn’t improved by morning. At this stage, my EQ communicated, basically saying, “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” He was right!

NEXT! When I opened CorelDraw, selected a graphic, and the bottom-right icons, which usually, well, have always shown Fill RGB and outline RGB, were now showing Mesh Fill with no colour code? What happened? Have I done something wrong again? I suspect I have, but what? During the day, I searched and searched for the problem on Google.It took me an hour on my first try to understand the question, but the solutions did not work. This might have been due to my not fully understanding them, since it involved going into settings I had earlier left alone because they were so confusing. Many of the instructions I followed to the letter, to find whatever I was supposed to click to get through the maze of options, would not appear there. I asked a Carer to look at the settings page to ensure it wasn’t me, and they weren’t there in plain sight; sight being my main problem. I had four goes at sorting this, getting more different advice from Google. I searched but could not find a Colour Styles option tag anywhere, just a confusing, not recognised styles tag. Which was probably my fault, cause bt then it was 2100hrs, and the eyes were fading fast. Then, I found a tip on cancelling Styles, and nervously, unsure if it was the right or wrong thing to do, after just 14 clicks to another section or part, I pressed the remove button for all the options. It didn’t work, I gave up and started this blog. At 0100hrs, I tried again, and the deleted (I thought) Saved Styles were all still there. I selected each one in turn and pressed remove. I gave out a loud  Dada! Restarted, and the bloody Mesh Fill was still on.

I suppose these things are just a natural part of the mysteries of old age, Dementia, & Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic Ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Depressing Darius, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus’ Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhea Leslie, Premordid Cognitive Impairment Inchie, the damned seizures, or the Fata Morganas that has been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. Sandra’s Seizures, Memory-Mangling-Mavis, Toothache-Tiffany, Carol’s Catheter Contraption, Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, Earache Erasmus, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Cataract Katie, Whoopsiedangleplops, Fractured Knee Frank, And Mechanical-Aorta-Valve-Victor. A wide variety of ailments, you’ll agree?

Carer Mizra arrived, and the advice to me by Jenny, for Carers about the washing machines, I’d forgotten.
So I asked Mirza to take the call, I think. Use the number two machine, put it in delicates mode, and the wash is done quicker. And he went down to put the washing in the machine as he left.

NEXT! I was struggling with the CorelDraw problem for 40 minutes, then put the computer in Sleep Mode, made a brew of tea, drank it, and then went down to move the washing from the washer to the dryer. The snag I found with the delicate mode was that the clothes felt wetter than usual as they went into the dryer. Back up to my cell… no, flat, and carried on getting nowhere with the CorelDraw problem for 40 frustrating minutes, getting nothing else done, blog not yet started. (Didn’t get around to it until late Saturday.)
Frustrating to say the least. Grumph!
NEXT! The clothes were not completely dry; many of them weren’t. So I got them in the bag, dropping several items again, which did the lower back and Dizzies no good. Then back up again to the apartment. Got in, and another Vyne Catheter delivery arrived, with just one giant tub of button-press Cetraben.

NEXT! Then, I tackled the problem of the still-damp washing I’d collected. I took an extra Codeine 30g first to ease the pain of the physical efforts exerted. Then, the four dressing gowns and two Kagoules needed drying enough to wear one. I hung them up on the shower rail in the wet room, with the expensive convector wall heater turned on, two at a time, swapping them for two more twice over the day. No wonder I didn’t know what I was doing, so many things started at the same time, I got confused, and had here with me all day, into the morning. 

NEXT! Then, the ten-minute max £35 charging toenail cutter arrived. Lovely gal, but annoying to my bank manager. Haha! I managed to get the feet washed; a bit of a job using the picker-upperer to dry the feet with paper-towelling before she came, and she put fresh socks on for me after snipping the nails – bloodlessly, too. She also put on athlete’s foot powder.

NEXT! The district nurse arrived. Tended to the leg wound, still okay. And photographed and put a plaster on my head wound for me. 🤎

NEXT! Jenny had read my blog, where I said it can be difficult to get a lift with Easy Link, as we have to have the right amount and pay in cash each time. Frank came to the flat and swapped £20 of coins for a twenty-pound note. That was so kind of them. 🤎

NEXT! Another two HMG envelopes arrived in the post today, which reminded me I still have to complete the faeces diagnosis kit.

NEXT! Still not having solved the CorelDraw mesh problem, I pressed on at long last and decided to use CorelPaint to complete a graphic I’d started. 
I still have not started this blog! But first, I needed a break, so I went out onto the balcony for a view of the scenery… which backfired on me, in the mental state I was in with all the hassles coming together or close to each other; I saw the collection of unused wheelchairs and walkers on the balcony! Two walkers and three, I say three bloody wheelchairs I’d bought! I’d forgotten all about them. Something else that, another job that got lost in the ether of depression, frustration, and impossibleness of abiogenesis and the endogenousness of life.
The Red Cross was going to send someone to check for safety and help fit the footplate platforms on the last one I bought. That was a self-propelled one.
The second one I bought from Amazon was displayed as a self-propelled one with large wheels. It came with tiny wheels and, obviously, no self-propelling rings. I told the Red Cross man who visited me in the hospital that it was new and unused, and that they could have it for helping me with the latest one. The first one, I couldn’t fit into, and it had no footplates either.
I never did get any help to sort them out. Although they did supply me with a walking stick.

Later, still no advancement in the CorelDraw mesh problem, I went to make a brew and ended up taking three night sky shots.
I wonder if the planet in all three photographs is Venus or a distant moon?

Surely the moon should be bigger than this planet? And Tim Price often catches the two in the same frame? I must remember to ask him what he thinks.

I made a very belated mug of Glengettie tea, left it to brew, and went back to the computer backlog of blogs to try and get some done. Forgetting all about the mug in the kitchen. Bugged my what the heck I’d done in CorelDraw to mess it up. I tried to sort the Styles grid mess that I’d made. Another hour and a bit lost without any success! Well, at least not for me, it brought on again, and things were getting to me now. The lack of blog progress, ailments and my unknown cock-ups on CorelDraw & Paint.
I was pretty-well, enervated, devitalised, sulky, self 
I found myself berating and criticising myself.
I can’t believe it, how the last few days have got worse than the day before. 
Worries mounting, CorelDraw & Paint, Carer hours increase, going into a home, or neither? Then realised something had gone right for once. I’ve got the hearing aids mended. I should be feeling happy… But no. Through having to take a Carer with me to the clinic, I’ve had all that bother with the washing to do. Bad back, Dizzy Spells, right shoulder agony, Catheter playing up, making Little Inchie bleed, very little urine getting into the Catheter bag, even after the Nurse checked it out? Toothache, too. Oh, dear, I’m moaning yet again, sorry. My concentration is farcical, it’s nearly time for the teatime Carer’s call. I’m not going to moan any more… Well, I’ll try not to. So many reasons keep popping up. Surely I must have a decent day, just one more before
I go to St Peter’s gate and door?

Into the kitchen to get the kettle on again.
The planet that I saw before was no longer in view. I still took a photograph. Well, a few. How did they come out? Well, they were pretty poor.
But I’m not moaning, you can be sure.
Even though my teeth hurt, and my right shoulder is still sore.
I’ll have to cope with my physical & mental gore.

Time to get some food, I think, some sausages. With instant mash, sauce, salt and no-butter butter.
But, No! Oh, No!
Fell asleep, woke up later in the morning, bin full of empty snack packets and biscuit crumbs.

At least I didn’t leave anything on the cooker.
No taps left running, I even turned off the heater.
Maybe my fate & luck are going to get better?
Yeah, and I’m a red setter!
Oh, dear, I’m gerrin’ sarkier!
Let’s face it, my future looks darker,
I may get diagnosed as free of Ataxia?
I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling merrier?
I could get extra hours for the Carer?
Or, be sent to an old people’s shelter?
At least romantically of Grizelda?
Little Inchie may grow bigger?
But cause problems with the Catheter?
Win the lottery, and become wealthier?
Lose life’s chaos, turmoil, disorder?
Or, find myself arguing with St Peter?

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🦋 Haveth A Great Day 🦋
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Another shortie blog. Luckily, I took some photos, most from the balcony and kitchen window, to help prompt my memory. has been working overtime for the past two days. And a few seizures only helped to warp and confuse things.
I got up at 07:00hrs. It was a struggle to force myself, and a vague feeling woke with me and stayed all day.
Where the heck is my reminder pad sheet for the day gone? The day had a few busy bits in it, I think. And paid far too many visits.
Carer’s Ejaz and Mizra served me today.

Jenny got in touch with a computer man weho saud he should be able to help me with the computer problems. Bless her, she’s so kind. I sent an email to the address given, explaining my problems. No answer yet, but give them time.

The Warfarin DNA blood test was done.

I had three missed calls on my mobile; no numbers showed up.

The Amazon Kagholes and dressing gowns arrived, and I tried one of each on, but the others are in storage.

The quaint battery-operated calendar clock battery ran out, but I didn’t notice, and was overjoyed when I glanced at it, thinking, Ah, I thought it was much later, now I can have a go at the Ode at last. I spent an estimated hour on the Ode, thought I’d have a mug of Glengettie, made it and returned, and saw that the same time was on the clock. I checked on the computer, and it was gone midnight!

Early sky shot.

Mud slide, it was raining again.

Noticed the clock time. Hehe!,
Notice the toothache spray?
I’m nearly out-of-it now.
Better get some more ordered and a letter of apology for the Bank Manager formulated.

Rain and the sun were trying to come out.
A pareidoliaing delight.

These seaweed crisps are okay for me to eat, but the tangy ones are too hard to risk biting into in their current painful, crumbling-away state.
I hope Jenny & Frank might like them. If not, Jenny can pass them on to someone in need.
She is very good at this. 🤎

I’d forgotten about the teggies
and gums. Silly-me.

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TTFNski!
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