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I was unquestionably out-of-it, more than with it, this stuttering, confused, mind-bending Saturday.
A mind-bending Saturday? Why? 
I’ll try to recall things, but many will be missed, hopefully. Cause they are bound to involve failings, Seizures, daydreaming, going off-track, and various minor calamities with the Catheter (again!), glaucoma and cataract problems, and other bits of depression,  moaning and self-pity. Which will not be missed or of interest. It is now Sunday morning at… no! Sunday afternoon just gone, 13:30hrs, and I’ve only just started this blog. I do not want to moan. 
No doubt the serious bits may get a mention, Ahem!
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I stirred back into pretend life at 07:20hrs. Jumped out of the bed and did a double back-flip, while yodelling and picking my nose, landing on one foot and started shadow boxing… Haha!
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Grumpliy, noticing that during the 5 hours of unbroken sleep I’d enjoyed, the Catheter had only amassed about an egg cupful of urine from the bladder. More problems to cope with, but I’m just saying, not moaning.
The following four lines on the memory pad were unreadable, but it was probably miserable stuff, moaning again, so not to worry.
It was more painful than usual. Maybe she’d been giving me some hassle while I was sleeping, and that was why she was more stinging than usual? I’m not moaning! I then sorted the three waste bins into one refuse sack and bound it. And took a couple of snaps of the glum morning view of the skies, with little puffy clouds on the horizon.

Carer Ejaz arrived, I greeted him, and we had a careful, slow dance. I’m not joking. We are both bonkers, maybe. And Ejaz took it steady, ’cause he knows how painful my shoulder’s been lately. Ejaz called the District Nurses again about the Catheter. He is fasting on his second day until evening; then I can offer him some nibbles of his choice and an iced coffee later. Ejaz issued the morning medications, tablets, and medicine. Then got some Phorpain Gel on my right shoulder. Checked the scuff marks underneath the Catheter straps, and applied some of the acne & eczema cream on them.
Also, put some under the massive, seal-like but wobbly belly fold that I’ve gained since not being able to get out much. Well, at all without a Carer.
But, I’m not moaning, just saying!
Ejaz then checked if I’d done my teggies, olive-oiled my earholes, and used the Anusol or Germoloid creams on Harold’s Haemorrhoids yet. I had probably written four lines of undecipherable bad writing on the notepad. Oh yes, I’d also undergone a visit tothe Porcelain Throne.
I’d have thought I’d remember that without being prompted. I can now.
It was a right gooey, sticky affair. But at least it was back to a brown shade.

Started the Friday blog well late in the day. I went to make a brew of Glengettie, which I’m sure of doing. Not sure if I actually made one. Why? The haziness dawned. I started on the computer and found myself doing CorelDrawing and Painting, in between other things. I got myself in a right pickle, and forgot all about this blog needing to be done. Hours later, it dawned on me, at the same time Darius dawned. Nothing had changed from when I was mindlessly, but contentedly making mistakes in CorelDraw, doing things that didn’t need doing until Sunday… I think.
Then, I lost interest in doing anything, and… this is true. I woke up in bed hours later. I can’t even recall getting into bed, and it is a painful job for me to do, and I still can’t remember doing it. I was all over the place, mind-wise, for a while as I lay there trying to figure of why I was in bed.
Getting out-of-it is another struggle. I resisted at first, then realised the Nurse may be calling, and feared she may have been while I was in the land of nod and would not hear the doorchime. Unsure, I got up, painfully, grabbed ,
and went to the front door to see if any notes had been put through the letterbox. A Royal Mail envelope lay on the floor; it was from HMG, and I left it there. I’d not taken with me.

I got back on the computer and, instead of starting the blog, I went on Amazon and placed an order! I found this reminder on Sunday afternoon, when I saw an email telling me I’d ordered some stuff. I investigated : what the heck had I ordered now? I went to the Amazon site.
Paper table-bowls? What? I’ve got dozens of them in the kitchen cupboard. I need help.
Bombay potatoes; Well, that’s okay, I’m down to my last packet.
5litres of bleach? I am aware that bleach nowadays is weaker. I know this because when I pour some washing-up liquid & bleach into the mug or mugs to soak them, they used to come out sparkling clean. Now, it takes half a bottle for it to be effective. But what made me think this was going to work? And per litre, it’s twice the cost of the ones I was using? Dad used to call me doollaly (Not in possession of all one’s mental faculties), and now I am doollaly!

Then, wandering off topic again, I put the clothes that weren’t yet properly dried in the wetroom, leaving the bank-balance-buggering immersion heater on to get them dried. Hanging on the shower rail. I used the long picker upperer to get them up. Being in the wet room reminded me of something… I still had not completed the Phoo test kit for returning to the Bowel Cancer Programme at the Queen’s Medical Centre Hospital. Fancy me forgetting something!

The day was almost gone, and after Ejaz departed after his teatime call, I got the meal prepared. All soft and edible with anyone like me, short of teeth, with those remaining chipped, cracked, loose, painful, and no doubt missing their fallen-out or pulled-out neighbours.
Instant potatoes made with no-butter butter, sea salt, and red Leicester cheese, in the bowl, bashed and mashed together. I added Teriyaki sauce on top.  
To leave it a while so the sauce seeps down into the spuds.
I closed the computer down while crying and cursing myself for not being with it enough to realise I hadn’t started the blog yet. Ran a scan check and went to put the spuds in the microwave. Then got some bread, pickled green tomatoes, and red peppers (I had to ask Ejaz to open the jar for me earlier). Looked and smelled so good. Added the last of the sausages and microwaved the pots & hostages. No, Sausages. Sorry, Herr Keir Starmer. Hahaha!

A last snap of the amazing, most baffling, out of touch, disoriented, out-of-the-loop, abstracted, inattentive, sidetracked, absent-minded Saturday of this year. The sky in this photo turned out a smidge brown?
I’m not moaning, just saying!

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TTFN