INCHIE TODAY: Wednesday 15th March 2023

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I woke after what I believed was a six-hour dream, and the memory of the ‘Gone-Missing-Laundry’ came to mind; as I was getting depressed and morbid at the prospects of having no dressing gowns, spending a fortune to replace them and the throws that may turn up, or likely will never will, and the email from the bank asking for confirmation and why I have bought the same things that I~~ did three months ago…

Then the real worry came to me. Wearing trousers for the Brain Scan at the hospital which is going to produce at least agony to poor Little Inchy as the catheter tube pulls and tugs again his fungal lesion. Next, the thought of having no dressing gown to change into and get out of the pain-giving trews when I get home to relieve the pain hit me… Argh!

A Mild Depression Dawned!
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When I forced my tormented body and mind to rise from the depths of the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner, I found that the Catheter punch contents were…


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At the highest level of colouration on the chart.
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I think there may be a slight chance, remote possibility, hundred-to-one shot, that today may not be a good one. Then again, when was my last good day?
was not too hopeful of finding my ‘taken-away-to-be-laundered clothing’. The chances, must be slim, but she did say she’d have another look around for me.

Found my laundry.
But no throws in there.

Morning:
CorelDraw not letting me add any photos.
Trouble getting into WP.
Mousee taking me left & right, not up and down?
Fearing the worse here…

INCHIE TODAY: Tuesday 14th March 2023

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The laundry, containing three nightgowns, I have another that I’m wearing at the moment that is getting a smidgeon whiffy, appears to have been lost or returned to the wrong client. I’m scared to send any more stuff to the laundry. The value of these dressing gowns is infinitesimal… no, sorry, I meant inestimable; Purely for the pain relief they give me from wearing trousers with the tube inserted into Little Inchie, thus causing agony, and .
So, when indoors, I do not wear trousers at all, just one of the now sadly gone missing at the laundry dressing gowns.
Tomorrow, I must get the trews on again to go to the QMC for the first brain scan. Lift arriving at 12:30hrs – lift home at 15:30hrs. Easy-Link confirmed this on a telephone call today. Bless them. The thought of having no dressing gown to wear when I return is galling. I dare not go around with just a gown on when someone other than Carers is due.
I can almost feel the pain from trouser-wearing already. Argh!

There may not be a blog tomorrow – I’ll see how things go, time-wise.

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With no larger night bags available – I came close to having an explosion of urine showering this morning. Talk about overfull!

The ankles were a smidge swollen, and the ankle ulcers were more prominent than they usually are. No pains, though.

After a pot of porridge, onto the computer.

Two photos of rare morning glimpses of the sun.
Not good ones, mind.

An absolute pleasure doing some pareidoliaing
Especially with these cloud-creatures in view.

In the afternoon, the sky became almost of an
oh, so pretty Sepia colouring.

Bootiful!

At last, the urine had cleared on the third emptying.
But, on the seventh one… Oh, dearie me!

Silly me got these out of order. These
ones are from the waking half-hour when.
I wandered around the rooms in the dark
taking pictures. Why? No idea!
But here they are…

Tatters in the slow cooker.

Suddenly not feeling very well.
I’ll pack up now, don’t want to be
unprepared for the Brain scan tomorrow.

AMAZING (To me) SUNSET SHOTS
Early in the evening, ghost-clouds, Awesome.
Back to the brown beauties!.
Gone from view sun, the sky goes back to blue?
Nightie-night!
What a series of changes in colour. Never seen this before.

came again. No signs of the laundry being found. This could be costly; three dressing gowns, a bath towel, woolly hats, the Carers’ chair throw, and likely more stuff that went into the bag and will have to be replaced. That is if I don’t mysteriously find the bag hidden somewhere… and if they cannot be located, of course. There is always a chance they may come across them. I kept thinking maybe there were not taken and searching the room… repeatedly; but I never found the bag.
I’ve had to order some more dressing gowns, but can’t get them delivered before next week, cost me well over £100 quid.
Not much goes right for me… You might have noticed? Huh!

No meal tonight as such. Had a pot noodle, made and added some gravy, and dunked a bread roll in it. Nice!

Got my head down. Nodded off pretty quickly, and it felt as if I had a dream that went on all night. I didn’t wake up once! But the dream, that was of my journeying on a bus somewhere, and it kept getting lost… things seem to be in the 1950s, a conductress in the Bristol Lodekka bus.

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It went on and on…

Ah, Well, Evening all!

INCHIE TODAY: Tuesday 7th March 2023

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Starting with a bit of a laugh from Inchie

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I think I spent more time today out of it – than in?
Problems with the bank (unsorted), WordPress (ongoing),
CorelDraw (a night & daymare), Catheter Kathleen’s
Accoutrements (Sorted by Carer Carole-Anne), the start
of Trotsky Terence and the lurgy; a combined, concerted
attack that was still in full flow this morning. (Wednesday). 
Multitudinous Memory Blanks and many periods for which
I have not yet made a name to use for it. It’s hard to
explain as well. But I’ll try;

 ❶: Over perhaps a four-hour period, during which two carers called, and several times I forgot what they had just said and what I was saying and going to say in reply.
❷: My mood went from euphoria to depression within seconds and kept alternating for a few minutes? (This has happened a couple of times over this last week, and this is the second session of it this week?
❸: The mind blanks and freezes can last for seconds or hours?.
❹: Sometimes I am so positive about something – certain, sure…
Until five minutes, or hours, days later, and the doubts, dithering and then the oscillating begins.
❺: Questioning my own decisions. Loathing my actions sometimes…
Momentarily engulfing bigger problems I have…
❻: Then, any stage or condition of mind may take over (worryingly)
This can vary from a ‘Sod-Em-all’, ‘Why bother?’, ‘No one is bothered’, to a newish standard for me. ‘What can I say?’ ‘What can I do?…
❼: Which always turns into a self-loathing mode, frustration, or a hated, pathetic, dreaded Dracula-Depression.

If the end is really, nigh…
Why should I wonder why?
My depression I’d like to transmogrify…
My brain & logic, to reunify,
Or would it be best to just die?
My moustache, with indigo dye?
Either way, would there be an outcry?
Or, take some CBD or eat some nautili?
I asked for help, do I get a reply?
I’m losing it quicker as time goes by…
No good luck, fortune or stimuli!
Sleep: I’m not getting much shuteye,
Failures, bad luck; no shortage have I!
Should I eat Spinach, like Popeye?
But no, in vitamin K it’s too high!
Banned for me, like sprouts & broccoli…
Cabbage, grapefruit, at least I know why,
What can I do: Whatever I try…
But I’ll not let myself sink, mope or cry…
What to have to eat? (I give a sigh!)
Worrying, my weight’s getting so high!
Apache potatoes, & a lemon cream pie?
My gluttony, I cannot rectify,
The Catheter hangs down painfully from my thigh,
Although, what the heck does that signify?
We’ll never know… bye-bye.
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Photos of the day with the odd bit of comment.

Crisp-coloured day pouch.

Not the foggiest idea now; why I took this one?

Nor this one, but there may have been a witty idea drifting about that I could use... but it escaped!

Aha! The Ocado order arrived.
Marmite!
Fullish cupboard?
Been after trying this for ages.
Spring Water stockpile?
Apache potatoes.
Good looking and tasting, too!

A smidge bloodier?

Afternoon clouds.
Very nice…
Absolutely gorgeous close-up!
Do you see a duck’s or snake’s head?

Later…
Could be from another planet.
These three had another sun showing up on the photo?
Or did they?

Sunset starting…

Reflection… or whatever you call it…

Dang it, I had to visit the Porcelain Throne
Thus the flow started…
nine more visits before midnight!.
ARGH!

The last views of the Sundown…

Fare Thee Well!

I think Carers Choe, Anne=Mrie, Sam and erm... er… Charly did for me today. So many blanks in the memory.

State of the pouches colourisationings today…

A one on the scale – Perfect!

1.5 Grrreat!

Whoops! Bottom Grade is not good; 7

acci-whoopWell, fancy that!

TTFN

INCHIE TODAY: Saturday 4th March 2023

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Can life really be so confusing?
Baffling, grinding and bemusing?
Painful at times, but what the hell…
It’d Doreen Dementia I’ve got to quell…
The brain is ever battered and bruising,
But how to extinguish her? Nobody can tell?
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Blood in the night pouch.

I tried so hard to make these photos clear. But, no!

Straight down on the bottom field.

To the right, a smidgeon…

To the left, a little smidgeon.

Then into the maze of houses opposite.

Oh, good colour this time on emptying.

I got an email telling me that the Amazon order had been delivered!

My two boxes & other deliveries for 3 other
flats in the block, Consisting of six packages,
were left in the ground floor lobby.
I got my dressing gown on, emptied the part full day bag, grabbed the 3-wheeler walker trolley, and set off down to the lobby. When I saw the stack of parcels on the table, my heart sank. This is the second time this week that items have been left to be stolen from the lobby area. Last time, I was not in good health, and two ladies helped me up to the flat with the items. This time, I was in better Physical Health. Not necessarily mental health. If I recall, the flats’ destinations were the 4th, 9th and 11th floors.

I got up to the first flat, and no one was in. So I left the parcel near the front door of the apartment. Then up in the elevator to the 4th floor and handed the man his parcels.  Up to the 11th, and gave the lady her parcel, then I made my way back to my flat, got inside and hate kettle on…

But… acci-whoop

As you can see above, I started to open my parcels and took out the contents of the split one… Ladies thingies! I got the spy-glass and realised it was for the lady on the 11th floor – I’d misread the label.

I grabbed Wally the 3-Wheeled Walker, exited the flat, and got back down to the 11th floor and apologised for opening it, and handed it to the lady. Who was alright about it.

Back to the flat, and opened what was my delivery. Tsk!

Food seasonings! Which were used later in the making of, well, potato & veg soup, I suppose. Then, I tried to catch the end of a film #I was watching when Amazon emailed me to lie about the delivery being done.

A proper good enjoyable oldie it was too. Peter (overacting) Cushion, Doug McClure – pure take-yourself-out-of-yourself stuff!
At The Earths Core
1978: Terrible acting, scenery, and special effects…

I Love IT!
Shame that the DVD does not have any subtitles.
Else I’d have bought a copy.
Brilliant entertainment. Go with it to enjoy it!
Anyway, thanks to Amazon, I missed it!

I also missed the sunsetting. Humph!
Still, I took these later on… of the dank dark night…

I got the veg soup seasoned, simmered and served up.

Flavour rating: 9.2/10.

Emptied the day pouch in readiness for the night pouch to be fitted. But it wasn’t… I forgot all about it.

Heckithump! Blood in the urine again!

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INCHIE TODAY: Thursday 2nd March 2023 – New & Old Odes

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Aha, right leg for less swollen this morning.

Amazing change in the urine colour on the first emptying

Social event notification.

Early evening.
No sunset as such, but…
I captured these two close-ups.

A man shouted at the panel…
DELIVERY!
I opened the foyer lock door…
Then as I made my way to the door, I
spotted the Amazon van pulling away…

GCscowl B
Crap! He’s left the stuff down in the foyer, I bet!
No choice left other than to go down and find out. Here I go!
Which meant going down in my dressing gown with the catheter on display.
Although at the time, this did not occur to me at all. (thanks, Doreen Dementia!) When I got down, and saw a stack of parcels left on the table near the door, some for me, and number 5 and 42 flats. It was when two ladies returning home came in, and I saw their faces as they looked at me, that I realised I had only got on the dressing gown and slippers!
The kind ladies helped me with the parcels, one of them carrying one for me that would not fit on the three-wheeler walker. ♥ Bless Her! ♥

I’d ordered some giant cans of French Casserole. Citric Acid and vegan Bacon bitsOh, and BBQ flavouring.
I opened the boxes and got the waste I had made to the bin in the foyer.
Then opened a can of the above meals… Of which five of the six cans had dents of varying degrees in them. Tsk!
I got some potato chunks from the freezer and got them in the oven. Planning to add flavouring to the meal, then add the potatoes.
Got the oven on the top heat setting, opened the can, and deposited the ingredients into the thick saucepan.
It didn’t look particularly appetising to look at, but smelt rather delectable to me, anyway. 800grm of food, to which I added…

I settled into my crumbling rotting c1966. charity shop bought, the second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. With the intention of watching an episode of ‘Heartbeat’. Drifted off into sweet oblivion for about an hour. (Bliss!)
pressing the door chime to release the tune “Oh, Susana” blasting into my face from the box opposite my location, bringing me back to the scary reality of my tormenting, , and torturing, plaguing real-time, and the actual reality that life’s quality is sinking fast. (Shame).
Jozeph issued the medications, and . He enquired if I was cooking something cause he cols smell food burning… Potatoes; I’d left them in the oven – for over an hour!

Hobbling at warp-three to the kitchen, in a semi-panic, only to find that the potatoes were burnt… but to perfection, for me, just how I love them.
A bit of good luck there; after so long, surely they should have been just cinders? Is the stove on its way out?
Farewell to Jozeph or Jozef; I wish I could remember to ask him. Hehe!

On with the meal making such as it was. I’d added the tomato passata, basil, liquid smoke and liquid salt & vinegar earlier to let it marinate in the saucepan for a while to get the flavour. I served it on the tray and took a photo of the feast. But, into the ether, it went from the SD card. It must be something I’m doing wrong, surely for it to happen so often? I left half of the meal in the saucepan, intending to transfer it to a dish and put it in the fridge to have tomorrow – but changed plans when I went into the kitchen in the morning and found it had gelled together and did not smell too nice. So, I dished it. Huh, all that cost and effort as well! !

It was while eating and enjoying it that I could smell some burning? I returned to the kitchenette to check things. All seemed okay to me?

Back into the front room to have another session with the fodder… then I got a Peripheral Neuropathy delayed reaction; and felt the pain around my knuckles… Yes, I supposed must have burnt myself taking the potatoes out of the oven? This often happens to me. With the nerve ends, neurotransmitters are dying off (Peripheral Neuropathy). Sometimes, the supposedly instant transmissions from the nerve end to the brain get delayed. So literally, the brain did not get the message until much later.

Keepeth Safe!

INCHIE TODAY: Wednesday 22nd February 2023

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Horrific Day
I would have topped myself…
But I didn’t have time. Hehe!

I really cannot remember much about yesterday.
But I’ll try to decipher the notes and use the pictures in hopes of working out the chronological bits I can be prompted on.

Throne, unblocked WC. Something about the cancelled Asda order, no idea what, the writing and eyes are so bad.
Carer Richard called. Did the first BP reading.

And urine colouring. Not good at all

Getting the paperwork together for Friday’s brain scan…found a letter, but it gave the date as Thursday, not Friday? The Warfarin nurse arrived – and did not have time to help me sort out the problem.
The pain, no, agony from Little Inchie was getting worse and worse, as time moved on.
Carer Carolynne arrived, and could see the agony I was going through, and rang the District Nurse for me, they told her someone would call to tend to me. Bless her!! I am confused so am going to have to guess at the timing and names over the next four hours.
The nurse said there was a blockage in the bladder. Squirted something down the tube, and reconnected the pouch. When I mentioned the appointment for the scan having two dates on them, and needing to know which is the one to go to, she kindly rang all the five or six numbers on the letterheads from the QMC, and could not get through to any of them. I’m sure she then rang the QMC switchboard, and they could not get through to them either. The operator said she’d ring me back later. They did; the Carer told me it was for Friday. Of course finding the letter with the Thursday one on, I’d rung Easy-Link to see if they could cancel the Friday one, and move it to Thursday. No! But they will try Thursday to let me know if they have any cancellations.
My head was spinning now.
Got the yesterday’s blog, and didn’t get around to starting this one until about 21:30hrs! The eyes, as usual, were failing and blurred now, by balance was all over the place. And the new pouch was got being pee’d into. What tiny bit was there was bloodied!
Don’t know when or why I took this one above.

Found this one, Richard.

This shows how well-coloured and heavy-flowing the wee had been the first thing.

Then this one is what it is like now…

Another earlier shot.

The yopo two notepads are mine, so you can see why I am making a mess of this blog? The bottom one was what Carer Carolynne wrote to remind me after. Carer Jozeph. Calls from unknown people as well, a con here, methinks was being tried.
Took what I’d hoped would be sunset photos, but the clouds were not playing.

A little later… I did the last wee check…

Then the nearest thing to a sunset…