Ode To Maintaining Ones Sanity – Part Four

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Good Morningeth!

I hope this guide and advice to Sanity is anecdotic,
Making it humorous, truthful and not dogmatic…
I reckon that the secret and trick,
Throw in some limited, sporadic slapstick,
Trying to make it read what it is, authentic,
Allowing bits to stray off subject, get frenetic,
Getting it to rhyme can ruin the grammatics,
All a part of my unfortunate written gymnastics!

Getting hopeful of success is something you must never do!
Accepting failure, that is really the way forward for you,
You must never think that victory is possible, or due,
You’ll be disappointed and start feeling blue…
When Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxpas accrue,
Expect the worst at all times; hopes must discontinue!
Or depression will ensure your dreams are slue!

When disablements arrive, and the mind wanders off, too,
You’ll never again be capable of using a corkscrew!
Toileting involves bleeding, and will it or not pass?
Even multiple distress will affect you having a slash…
Accept it; good luck is not bound for you!
Accommodate failure from pain and hassle; there’s no rescue!
You’ll feel much better when you do!

I know doing as I suggest may seem uncanny, silly,
I tell you because I think it is my duty…
To pass on my failures and inform you see…
From old age and ailments, there’s no bouncebackability,
So I use the written word and my verbosity,
To help the ankle snappers later in life, from getting panicky…

It’s normal for aged proletariats to wear a toupee atop,
You girls may turn out to look like Hetty Wainthroppe?

Which suits me; she gets my remaining desires on the hop!
You’ll be less likely to manage a mutton chop,
But may get someone to nip down to the wineshop
Of course, your needs for fun don’t just stop…
However, reviving certain areas will be a dead flop!
Which may well bring forth the odd teardrop,
Sadly, you have to give up the old Bebop!
As did your Dad and Grandpop!
And, the Lads will have to give up being a fop!

One thing you’ll get better at is the bellyflop…as such,
Falling into bed, and with any luck…
No injuries, so you don’t look a schnook!
No loose bladder movements to blot your copybook?
To hope you sleep better, by hook or by crook…
Best to have Guinness or gin midduck!

To me, Arthur Itis, Anne Gyna, Reflux Roger are small fry!
Peripheral Neuropathy, on my right side, to undignify!
And Saccades in my right eye…
Often they may cause a tear and outcry…
Not often, though, only when they intensify…
While I’m trying to get some shuteye!
Press on we must, do or die…
That sounded dour? Writing that… but did I?
Slipped in by my Alto Ego? I’ll give him a black eye!

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A Bit Of Fun

I came across the name of a mountain.

Does anyone care to guess or tell me where it is in the world?

Of course, I knew straight away. No, I didn’t look it up on the web either… Okay, I did!

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Inchcock Ode – Welcome to my world

Welcome To My World

Upon waking, Inchcock will often do a sensual check on any ailment attacks or changes. Sometimes, a discussion will occur twixt Inchcock and a specific ailment, typically one that has been giving him a little extra pain and, or hassle. When these occur, the silly old goat usually makes an Ode and graphic about his demented, dreamt up, nonsensical clap-trapping, as below from an old one.

For some unknown reason, the idiot asked me to show this graphic, as he puts it: ‘Wot I Made!’ cause he’s seems to think it is one of his rare, almost non-existent successes?

As his Alto-Ego, I will now let the uneducated, lonely old fool take over the writing of this rubbish. TTFN.

Once the physical activity starts in the morning, I often wait for the mental conditioning to begin; it usually catches up within a few minutes. It can take hours, but not often.

They were tackled then.

Sphygmomanometer showed Sys and Dia, readings high,
The Wee-Wee chart: I need to drink more! Gin & Dry?
Would it help if I go to a detoxify?
On this mind of mine, I cannot rely!

A quick look for any new damage, I don’t want to oversimplify,
Another bruise was found on the top of my left thigh…
An unknown round welt, right arm, that I can’t quantify,
The torso seems to have started to transmogrify?
Heart Op Scars raised, itching again, certainly uglify!
The broken Terence Tooth hit the pain-boards bullseye!
Shuddering, Shoulder Shirley’s eased off, but why?
Hit my head on the stove but didn’t get a black eye!.

The following tasks were ablutionary,
Not worn any socks since about July,
Cold, Brr! should I dare to use Sock-Glide Georgina?
I’ve no medical aids that are any meaner!
One Sock-Glide injury needed micro-surgery!
Hickeys, bruises, cuts, and a bleeding periphery,
Stubbed toes, damaged knees, I felt all fluttery…
Should I put my socks on? I recalled the imagery,
Of the last time, I fought Georgina, bitterly!
I chickened out of wearing socks; what a mockery!.

Anytime in the next three hours, cometh Meridian,
An incredible variety of Carers, one who is Balearian,
Unless I misheard her, and she is Algerian?
Not that it matters, none of them shows me derision,
An American gal, English, British, and an Assyrian,
All make a positive impression!

Porcelain Throne Sessions

Ah, every visit is a different evacuation, indeed.
Some days it can be half an hour, then I’ve only peed!
Rock-solid torpedoes, agony, things bleed!

Next time, liquid, 30 seconds, messy but what speed!

Housework Tended To

Took the chance to clean the fridge up, ready for the delivery to arrive shortly – well, I hope so.

Iceland Delivery Arriveth!

Then, on with Prepping Josie’s Meal

Got it delivered almost on time for her.

I was so proud of how Josie liked the look and smell,
The beef arrived two hours later, took in the dish for the gal.
Water chestnuts, potatoes, tomatoes, beef chunks as well,
Leeks and onions, chilli, three beans, the lovely smell!
Seasoned with liquid smoke, paprika, beef flavour gel,
Said she loved the cream Pretzel,
Even called me an old Angel!
I mentioned the extra lidded pot for the Damsel,
To have later, quantity double,
Too long at her door, I did not dwell,
I sensed she was hungry… Oh, yes, I can tell!

End Car Park

End car park area busy today.

Evening Views

I shall have to go now. Most likely the evening Carer will crave my body, mind and bank account… Ahem!

Inchcock’s Ode: Talking with my ailments – Part Two

Talking with my ailments

Introduction:

Part Two – Shaking Shoulder Shirley

After Inchcock was diagnosed with Peripheral Neuropathy, he then got told he was a diabetic. Then had a stroke. (He’s a lucky lad… Not!) Next, a Subconjuntival Haemorrhage in his right eye.

Then while recovering in an NCH (Nottingham City Homes) Care Home, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley introduced herself. He presumes this is due to the (Nicodemus’s) Nerve ends dying. But the occasional Neuropathy Pete’s shuddering, shaking and jerking of the right side of his body and limbs rarely last for more than a few minutes at max. Usually, Shirley is a lot more violent for some unknown reason and can wear the old man down when she’s persistent. Shaking and lashing about. Her efforts recently have increased somewhat, time-wise, and Inchcock says, “After a long hour or so session, I’m convinced she is trying to wrench my humeral head bone free of the socket” Oh, and Inchcock also needed three stitches in a shaving cut!

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The Nocturnal Natter with Shirley

A mixture of awake, half-asleep, and dreamt discussions, wrote from notes and during the actual multiple chin-waggings…

Inchcock: I’m not sure why or how you came about… Shirley: Ha!, now you talk to me; I’m not as important as Bloody Boris bladder then, what’s that about?
Inchcock: Whaddya mean about?
Shirley: Yo started this ‘ere Talking to yer ailments series of blogs off wiv him… not me, who is far more painful indeed… innit, no doubt?
Inchcock: Well… it depends which ailment is worst at the time… giving me the severest clot…
Shirley: Argh, shurrup! You’ll know now why I’ve been giving the jerks and aches then? Cause yer doesn’t rate me was mean enough… yer, I’ll put yer in more pain than gout!
Inchcock: I wouldn’t and don’t doubt your pain-giving qualities at all; I’m already in pain, tired and worn-out!
Shirley: I suppose Bartholomew give it more to you?
Inchcock: Well, he has been lasered and still works,
Shirley: Cum on mush, look how yers treated me, bad or not!
Inchcock: I massage you twice a day with Phorpain gel
Shirley: Not like you, an old fart that still drinks bottled stout! Yer just an ungrateful old trout!
Inchcock: I…
Shirley: And another thing, I’ve never let the shoulder joint fall out!
Inchcock: Well, I doubt…
Shirley: I’ll tell yer to wot you done to me int past, Inured me you have, I remember the Colwick security stakeout!
Inchcock: Go one then, tell me all about it… it won’t make me freak out!
Shirley: Now yer makin’ me want to puke and pout!
Inchcock: Pout? Why? What about?
Shirley: Oh! Yer not bovvered about me puking then, yer an emotional wash-out!
Inchcock: I remember now, Shirley, Colwick, when we did an overnight lookout…
Shirley: Ah, year, that’s wot it was about!
Inchcock: When I was using the night goggles, from the back of the van… and from it, I fell out, giving you a good clout?
Shirley, you landed in a field, and blood did spout…
Inchcock: Blood? Who’s? No, surely not?
Shirley: It was me, and you bleeding.. have you no memory left or what?
Inchcock: Erm…
Shirley: The burglars arrived? You felt around in the dark for the R.T., went out of the van to take a nighttime photo, missed the step.., and fell on me! What an idiot!
Inchcock: Ah, yes… I fell on a broken tin pot…
Shirley: And it cut me! And you still never got the I.D. shot!

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Notes made for later use…

In the afternoon, Inchcock: Fell asleep…

Shirley: Oi, you Inchie! Are you ready to have anuvver talk wiv me?
Inchcock: Well, I’d like for me…
Shirley: Don’t tell me, you’re back on the Drambuie?
Inchcock: No, no, no, I don’t drink anymore…
Shirley: Sounds like an oxymoron, yer fibbing, you see…
Inchcock: No, I’m not, you’ve been hanging around for over seventy-odd years, must have noticed, so you must indeed acquiesce, concede, and agree?
Shirley: Oh, trying to get clever with words, I see?
Inchcock: Why are you so nasty and sarkie?
Shirley: Me? I’ll tell yer why, dumbo! In left Shoulder Lilly, never, always me, that’s what causes my incongruity! Why is it always me the doctors stick the hypos in?
Inchcock: Now look, we’ve grown old together, Shirley…
Shirley: Yea!
Inchcock: We’ve been through some tough times, we all suffer, Duodenal Donald, Anne Gyna, Reflux Roger, Deaf Darren, Hemorrhoidal Harold, Saccades Sandra all of them, oh, and Toothache Tiffany…
Shirley: Enough of this claptrap mush! But I do wish you well with this little ditty!
Inchcock: She suddenly returned into the ether; what a pity!

Time To Get An Iceland Order Done, methinks

A bit bare, innit?

A Long Hobble to the Doctors – Guess who forgot to take his camera?

I had rather hoped that the last few days, nonsensical mishaps, clangers, errors, Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, and the accompanying misery they brought; would be bound to lessen, and albeit an imitation joy would return to the Nottingham Lad. Peace would burst out, and joy would reign…

But, No! Although the morning started well, yes, really. Within minutes of waking up, the wee-weeing were on the move again, and that gave me confidence… well, the hope, that the Doctors Visit would go well, and bladder-bother-wise, there would be no embarrassing moments. The bit I was getting a smidgeon excited about was getting out and taking some photos on my hobble to the surgery. It’s been so long since I saw, I mean walked outside the flats.

My main concerns were forgetting to take the camera and not leaving anything on that should not be in the apartment. Cockily…

I thought it would be wise to get the camera into the coat pocket now, along with the bus pass for the return journey as soon as I got my ever-increasing in volume flabby flobby stomached body, from the c1968,  £300, second-hand, c1968, horrendously grungy coloured, eyesore of a haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, recliner.

Whistling to myself! Yes, I was feeling a little cocky!

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I took a snap of the tootsies; they were not looking too bad at all this morning.

Rose up, caught my balance, and responded to the demand from Bladder-Boris, and took a wee-wee, a pain-free one too!. Things had started well!

Took the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket), emptied, cleaned and sanitised it, then went to the kitchenette and got some potatoes in the slow cooker. While the kettle was heating up, I took a snap of the view… the sky had an odd hue to it?

Made a mug of Glenettie, and started on updating yesterday’s blog for an hour or two, then went to make another brew, Thompsons Punjana this time, and got involved in washing the thick jumper in the sink.

Got it washed, rinsed, wrung and hung above the sink to drip dry.

The brain engaged, and I remembered to put the camera into the jacket pocket. I even remembered that I had to wear clothes that gave the nurse easy access to my arm… Yes, the letter from the surgery told me to! Humph! Anyway, my being nervous about intimidating Fog-Horn Nurse, I worked out how to oblige. When I get the ablutions done, I’ll wear my sleeveless jacket next to the skin and a thick cardigan over it, so I can easily give the Obergrüppenfureress nurse no delay. Not that I’m scared of her or anything like that… but I am. Hehe!

The Carer arrived a little late, not that it mattered, I have time to get everyone done for going out, the appointment isn’t until midday. It was Carer Richard who came; I was his last call. He’s been called in. Another carer didn’t turn up.

This suited me down to the ground cause being the final call, he had time for a natter with me. Mostly mutual moans over the NHS and Doctors in particular, with some fantastic tales Richard related. I thought at first that our laughing might disturb Herbert in the flat above… which made me even happier at the thought of the noisy, arrogant, taciturn, aloof Herbert being disturbed by my noise for once. Not that I have anything against the antisocial, evasive, uncongenial, phlegmatic, pococurante, gentleman, of course. (I lie well sometimes!)

After Richard left, taking some bags to the chute for me on his way, I got the blog updating finished, then did a little Facebooking. Time to get the ablutions done. Long gone are when I would make sure I’d got half-an-hour to get the ablutions done; it’s an hour nowadays needed. Everything went tremendously smoothly… well, all bar the shaving bit. I’m still confused over this hair-raising anomaly… Hehe!

How come the hair still grows behind my earholes and nowhere else? Hehehe!

I took the Canon camera from the coat pocket to record this little Accifauxpa, then rushed it back to the jacket, and I finished showering and medicationing. Got on the planned attire… Which must have made me look bloody awful. A well-stretched woolly jumper, with a multi-pocketed jacket and no shirt on underneath, which left part of my chest open to the elements, lumpy… but it was warm for me, once I got outside and on my journey. Which you will read, was delayed…

I got the bags checked, nibbles for the Doctors surgery staff, and Deana & Julie, off I went down in an elevator.

THE ELEVATOR SCARE!

It genuinely frit me when I got in the cage with the trolley, and the lift began to move, and loud creaking noises could be heard! And when the brake was applied at the ground floor, a screeching was heard! I thought maybe it was because I had the hearing aids in and new batteries? I was going to call on Deana’s office and would mention it to her. I hobbled through the link passage and through to the office – but no one was in! Natalie from the Care Team came in, and we had a minute chinwagging, and I forgot all about the lift! Hey-ho!

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP!

As I reached the end of the road, to turn right down Winchester Street, so many photographicalisationing opportunities were on view. The new flats being built, cars parked right up on the pavement that I had to walk on the road to pass. The git in a BMW who papped at me… all were begging to be photographed… But No! Who had put the wrong multi-pocketed jacket on, with the camera now in the other jacket pocket? With the cash! Yes, it’s not a tricky question, is it! And I wanted to do some shopping at Lidl and Wilko as well. I calmly spat, swore venomously, stubbed my toe on the trolley wheel, spat and cursed again, and just carried on – hoping I could remember the pin number if I ever got to a shop. I may have cried a little too?

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I’ll try to make the rest of the journey in Ode, but it might not be terrific…

Further down the street, I got almost angry,
Double glazers blocked the footpath again!
I felt bitter and almost insurrectionary,
Back into the road to pass, and then…
Another pap-pap from a driver, an obscenity!
I felt like going and having tea in the kitchen,
Where the hell’s the local Constabulary?

Down and onto Mansfield Road I did turn,
A bloke on a mobility scooter gave me a gurn,
Looked like he’s just left a pub or tavern!
Manners and respect he never learned?

Up towards Carrington, having lost my earlier swank,
I’d forgotten the tenners to swap at the bank!
An Escooter from behind with a clank,
My hopes and respect for humanity sank

Top of the hill, I was tired and feeling a bit queer,
The back was hurting, Anne Gyna too, oh, dear!
After a few minutes, I felt a little chirpier,
On to the surgery, my walking getting wonkier…
Ten minutes to go, not admitted any earlier,
Did a puzzle, thoughts of the nurse were scarier…

Got in to see the nurse, things got zanier,
She sounded as if she was a little friendlier,
“You’ve not bared your arm like we told yer!
She tore at the jumper, she felt uneasier,
When the bare flesh of my arm teased her!
Her bullying attitude got weaker…
But I was unhappier, a proved wrong nurse…
There is nothing much worse…
Embarrassed, I resisted a curse…
Turning to leave, I ricked Back Pain Brenda!
Although it hurt and was very tender…
I got out without any more verbals; things got rosier!
Off to the Lidl store, I did scamper!

Once in the store, I was happier here…
Food all around me cost no barrier…
Escaping the nurse, was summat to revere,
Food shopping, something I hold dear!
With the Carers costs, I should be austere?
But its food, I gave a silent chanticleer!

Although eating can make me podgier, please,
They had in stock of tomatoes, and garden peas,
I got yoghourt, and other things with these,
But I resisted getting any more Derby cheese…
Strong cheddar and apples together, please!

I got out shopping, what a wheeze!

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BUSES BACK TO THE FLATS

I caught a 57 bus to Sherwood, and I rather sillily and expensively went into the Wiko store. They had got some 500ml Zoflora Lemon Zing disinfectant back in stock – Well, that did it! I got three bottles, I’m afraid they were £4 each, Ahem!

It is the only disinfectant strong enough for me to use in the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). I also use it in the event of any Accifauxpas with the bladder or bowel movements. Really worth the extra. If I do have any leaks, the PPs Protection Pants can help, but on the odd occasion, splashes when wee-weeing have been known to spray back and over the carpet or floor. Again this product comes into its own. I leave any clothes soaking in Zoflora and washing soda, or even Citric Acid capsules if I have any in stock, overnight usually, before washing them. A little tip there. Haha!

I got the things bought put away. The Lidl smoked ham off-cuts were far superior to those I had to throw away from the Co-op: they were almost just pork crumbs. And they only had a one-day eat-before date on them. Their beef pasties only had two days of life! I intend to eat those tonight; that was the plan. But I’ve spent so long doing this blog update, it is already gone 01:30hrs! Harrumph!

The Carer came late again, Carole, no not Carole, I’ve forgotten her name now. Tsk! She was not talkative, although it was her last visit. She was so tired but sociable enough without actually proper talking if that makes sense. Still, a can of Gin later, and she was a bit cheerier, bless her. ♥

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Took these shots of the evening sunset.

Then, I noticed a chap or woman down in the end car park area. To all intents and purposes, it looked like he/she had taken a body out of the back of the vehicle. And was hitting it with a stick. I hope not!

Ah, well, must get summat to eat and my head down.

Self-Angering Whoopsiedangleplop! In Ode

Puggleclumpdimwit!

Even for me, I made a Whoopsiedangleplop an hour ago that turned my stomach – Started Anne Gyna and Duodenal Donald off – and made me so angry with myself…

Inchcock is a Grangnanging Stupid Old Git!

No idea how I did it – but I lost Wednesday’s Ode I’d been working on for about four and a half hours! Nine verses! And, I thought, it was pretty decent… The hour-and-a-half above, I’ve been trying to find it or find out what the hell I’ve done to lose it… Got the Doctor’s in the morning, so have no choice other than to make it again.
I apologise in advance cause the frame of mind I’m in right now is not conducive to Funny Ode creating!
This means staying up late to get the Ode done… I’m not expecting it to have the usual humour or be any good, the mood I’m in, but I’ll try…

Inchcock is a Pathetic, Useless Pillock!

I told the Social Services lady how much I had in the bank,
Of course, they’ve raised the total allowed, but I was frank,
She offered me an hours help with shopping and laundry,
It’d cost me £280 a week… Holy Lordy!
I said no, I was referred to the Revenue & Benefits, thanks!
She asked if I had money in any other banks…

Inchcock is a Pickleglobknob Idiot!

Nottingham Revenue & Benefits man rang me on the phone,
A 2½hr interview followed I was in the ether-world zone,
My concentration dissipated, off it had flown,
I thanked him with a weary groan…

Inchcock is a Dolt!

He said he’d sent the paperwork to sign & return,
Of course, no help was given, I soon did learn…
Result in today, on a downer now, scowled and had a gurn!
Excuse me, to the Porcelain Throne, I’ll have to adjourn…

Inchcock is a Gnatwrangling Turd!

Unhappy at the elision of the actual cost, though,
Still a secret? Why do they not let me know?
They told me how to pay, and punishment if not…
Added fines if you miss a payment that cheered me a lot!

Schluberdubersnarl, Inchcock!

The limit for money, I thought I might be below, but no,
The figure has gone up; this is not good, you know!
The decision didn’t leave a warm afterglow…
I nearly cried; that could have ruined my eyeshadow,
Blimey, I made a funny! And not getting any Sympatico!

Inchcock is a Senile Old Git!

Ah, I’ll be making beef stew for later; my hunger does grow…
Hello, it’s already late, mate… Carer due, Doctors tomorrow,
I’m still angry with myself; there is a self-pitying sorrow,
Life at the moment is annoying, no zest… hollow!
It’s me that is annoying me… that what I’ll have to forego…
The hidden costs of the carers do rise… Oh, blow!

Inchcock is a Senile Old Git!

An ‘orrible Day Again!

Impure Inchy – Thursday 4th March 2021 Diary

♥ TFZer Actresses on stage! ♥


Thursday 4th March 2021

Spanish: Jueves 4 de Marzo de 2021

23:40hrs: I removed my over-flabbily-bellied body from the c1968 recliner and utilised the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). A short sharp affair, with a lot of CMD (Cessational Micturition Dribble) to follow.

No messing about, I got on the computer to create a template for today’s blog. Starting with doing a few graphics on CorelDraw. But, I didn’t get too far, the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived, so, off to the wet room. Incidentally, Cartilage Cathy was a lot kinder to me this morning.

It seemed to me that the daily PTDDSB (Porcelain Throne, Daily-Domination-Stakes- Battle) for supremacy in the evacuation was a close thing. Still, a comeback from Constipation Konrad had curbed the rampant messy tendencies of Trotsky Terence for once! So, I had a go at the crossword puzzle as I waited for things to kick-off. Just as yesterday, I didn’t solve a single clue! (Well, I’m consistent, if not capable. Hehehe! The movement started slowly and stayed that way, but no pain or bleeding, and as I said, it was a lot less mess to clean up. I still had to refill the tank by hand though, I think the problem is the fluffy too-thick toilet roll paper.

Back to the grahicalisationing, I went. Then made-up and started this template. Which took me ages to get this far with. Then, I went on to update the Wednesday Diary, at long last. I got it updated fully, emailed the link and went on the WordPress Reader section. Which I enjoyed considerably. Pinterested a couple of photographs, the read and replied to the WP comments that had come in. Some witty puns and quips came on this Thursday.

I was about to start collating the advance templates and realised the hours had shot by; it was time to get the ablutions tended to. As is usual with me, I got into the kitchen and got myself sidetracked once more.

I decided to get the hand-washing done first. But and however – guess who had left the hot water tap (faucet) to run cold? Yes, pickle-brain Inchcock had struck-again! Gawd-blimey, I this far too often! Hence decision had to be made (another Inchcock problem area!) My EQ told me there nothing to do but press on handwashing boiling the water in the kettle and saucepan, for more Whoopsiedangleplops were on their way! He also called me a name, a naughty one!

So, the half-hour or so handwashing exercise took me nearly two hours! Not to mention the scolding of two fingers fetching the kettle to the sink… Oh, I’ve said it! It’s a good job that I was in a slightly better mood today! I washed the long-sleeve jumper, the jammie-bottoms and the pair of long bamboo diabetic socks. The washed ones from yesterday were not fully-dry enough to put on today, so I got a couple of 100% short-ones to adorn after the ablutions to wear.

Then, as I checked the dryness of the other things that were hanging above the kitchen window, with perfect-timing, Peripheral Pete went into an involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance routine! This caused me to drop the coat-hangars and the washing I had in my hand. Belt Cathy Cartilages knee against the floor cupboard, and hit my head against the heater getting back up again!

I made a start on moving the stuff back into the cupboard, but soon lost interest!

My new found emotions of satisfaction, semi-contentment and renewed hopes sank without a trace! I took some painkillers and moped my way to the wet room, leaving the clothes where they had fell on the floor, and swearing a little still, got to the wet room, totally uninterested in what I was there for! Pissed-off would be a quicker way of putting things!

Had I been aware of what was waiting for me, I wouldn’t have gone in! The worse Ablution session in months!

Ablutionalisticalisationing Report:

  • I realised there was no hot water to be gleaned from the sink tap for shaving! But felt sure I would manage using the hottish water from the shower-head without any bother (What an idiot!)
  • Have you ever had to keep going to the other side of the wet room, and with Peripheral Pete shaking me about like a good un, repeatedly, bring the shower-head, which only just reaches the sink, and spraying the tepid water all over yourself and the room? It’s not easy! The cleaning up afterwards wasn’t either!
  • The de-nasalising went well. No water needed, you see! One dropsy only!
  • The teeth-cleaning had a bit of discomfort.
  • Then the shaving began. I had to keep emptying the sink of the water that went too cold, turning up the thermostat, and dial, to get as hot that I could from the control panel, but it wasn’t scorching enough, even then.
  • The whole shaving job was farcical in the extreme. Although having said that, there were only five dropsies! A few little nicks and one cut under the chin. One the throat, two in the neck-hole, and one on the cheek.

I got belated Health Checks done next. The Boot’s, made in China Sphygmomanometer’s SYS reading was fantastically low! Grrreat!

At least I think it is; hang on, I’ll check on Mr Google later on.

The in Hong Kong produced, Chinese Harpin Xian Di contactless thermometer reading was, I think, a smidge high, but well down on yesterdays worrying high of 37.9°c – 100.22°f.

Since the side-effect-ridden AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccination was given to me a week last Saturday, SYS has also been higher, its the lowest reading today than for ages. I think I might be getting confused here, between the SYS and the temperature? Well, fancy that!

I found an NHS site on Google, where you can put in your reading for SYS and DIA, and you get an instant show of where you stand on the chart, with a black cross! Proof that I was right to worry when the SYS went up to 180 five days ago, well, that was well in the red area!

Gotten Himmel! Look at the time! What happened, where did it go?

I’d better close down and get my pre-planned, easy, tasty (I was well wrong there!) meal prepared. I’m afraid the beautiful looking Iceland bought tin of tomatoes was terribly bland, tasteless, watery. Savourless and unappetising. These Don Holio chopped tomatoes needed a warning giving-out about them for anyone unlucky enough to buy any. The Sainsbury crispy smoked ready-cooked bacon slices were very fatty tasting as well! The last of the sourdough bread saved the meal. A flavour-rating of 4.5/10 was granted. Reluctantly to a degree! Eurgh!

However, and leaving the pots in the sink in cold water to be cleaned when I have some hot water again, in the morning, at first, I was well-pleased that I was in time to watch the channel 11, Tales of the Unexpected episodes.

I stayed awake until the first set of commercials, and Sweet Morpheus visited me, and off into the land of nod I floated.

And slept for four unbroken hours, which was so nice! Ahh!

Intangled Inchies Diary – Monday 15th February 2021

TFZer Lillie, at her weekend cottage


Inchcock Today

Monday 15th February 2021

Finnish: Maanantai 15 Helmikuuta 2021

05:00hrs: Woke up to pains from Cartilage Cathy, and where Colin Cramps had been having a go at me again, nocturnally! But, nothing, compared to the previous two nights. I drank no end of spring water yesterday, and as Tim Price says, it seemed to have helped! At least I got a few hours kip in, a decent four hours I work it out as.

As soon as I attempted to move my old aching limbs, and flobby-bellied torso from the Grotty, £300, second-hand, c1968, unsteady, not-working, incommodious, sickeningly beige-coloured, haemorrhoid-testing recliner to catch my balance. Cathy and Arthur Itis complained, and the knees were dodgy again, so I really took my time, gingerly hooked the wooden walking stick over my shoulder, and tried to walk to the kitchen, without using it. I got there without any hassle, but, as I mention, I was weary and planning my route near solid objects I could use if I did go over.

No wee-wee called for? I got the kettle on and cracked my elbow on the countertop, and calmy muttered some oath or other – good heavens, my voice was all nasal and croaky? There was mucus wanted to come out from the throat and nose, I got rid of a bit of it. But it was still better than two days ago, just the knees and Colin Cramp’s after-effects were any bothers. I talked myself into an even-keel frame of mind.

I tackled the pre-Dump Health Checks. The dependable, trustworthy, Chinese manufactured Boot’s Sphygmomanometer results were okay. SYS 161. DIA 70 PULSE 90. A good start!

In Hong Kong, the Chinese Harpin Xian Di contactless thermometer returned decent reading, lit up in the green. Of 36.7°c – 98.6°f. A smidge high, but well down on what it has been some days. So, no complaints from me!

I made a brew of Glengettie, took the morning medications, and got a packet of the luxury Lemon Wafers out, for the nurse when she calls to take my blood. When she’s been, I’ll nip some down for the Jenny family, I bet Frank and Nora will love them.

The legs seemed to be regaining some muscle now, that Colin Cramps has had a ball with the legs and hands these last three nights.

I’d let the tea go cold, so I went to make another mashing. Oh, the fog falleth!

I constipated on getting the Sunday Diary updating done, I’ve got to make a template for today. It’s all go! Concentrationalistically, I pressed on and got it finished, but it took me a few hours. Thanks to Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters being so kind to me, I hope this continues for a while, Grrreat! Got it done and posted-off to WP. Then on Facebooking, but with my getting up late, it was time to get the ablutions done, before the nurse arrives.

I had to use the Porcelain Throne first. Despite my best efforts, nothing moved again, a couple of tiny meatballs, and they hurt on the way out!

The Ablutions went really well! In total, I had only six dropsies! Yes! The getting dressed was the opposite of yesterdays when I put on Tent-like new PPs. I adorned one of the blue ones, just the reverse, these were the ones sent too small a size. Things were getting a little squashed! Tsk!

I hand-washed the Afghanistani made turquoise thick-thermal long-sleeved jumper. Washed, rinsed, fabric-softened, rung and hung it up above the sink, to drip dry. The Coronvurus might be beaten by the time it dries. Hehe! 

Then, back to the Porcelain Throne, I fell confident of an evacuation this time.
Which just goes to show you
how wrong a man can be! Apart from a few more rock-hard walnut-sized lumps, a fair bit of wind, and the innards giving me some jip. Humph!

Washed, and went back to the kitchenette, the fog seemed about the same as earlier on.

I’ll have to dish these PPs, too inhibitive, far too small. Will, I ever get a pack of them that isn’t too large or too small? I bet Tena are making a fortune and clearing out there small and XXL stock! Gragfackles!

I did the Post-Dump, Health Checks.

SYS 162, DIA 71, Pulse 89, on the Boots Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by, ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) Guangdong, China.

Body temperature at 37.2°c. Which is lower than it has been for a while, but apparently, still a midge high?

I updated the XL Health Check log, and it was back to the Porcelain Throne again.

No joy, things had not loosened, they’d done the opposite I reckon. Nothing moved, but I knew there was a significantly impacted dollop in there, praying to be freed! Oh, dearie me!

I went in search if a new bob-cap, I knew was in the junk room somewhere.

After an hour or so, I found it, at last, I keep my head warm at least.

The label, a Primark one, tells me this Chinese manufactured Head Heater, hat, was 2.6 togs? I got it on straight away, snug as a bug!

I made a start on the template for today, then began to work on it.

WordPress was messing about with the picture gallery, that confused me a bit.

Four hours later, I went onto the WordPress Reader section.

I came across this photograph on the SD card. Must be another one taken in error? But when and what, beat me. Any guesses?

Time to get some sarnies made up for nosh. Oh, I’ve not seen any signs of the nurse? I double-checked on the Google Calendar – Wot a plonka! It’s next Monday! Still, I can nip the nibbles down the Jenny, Nora and Frank. So, I did.

Returned, and made up a nosh. I rather spoilt myself. Milk Roll buttered pork sarnies, being the highlight.

Flavour Rating: 8/10!

Colin Cramps visited again, but not as bad as is usual.

Sleep came belatedly, whenever Colin eased off, the Thought-Storms took over. But I managed a four-hour nod -off!

TTFNski.

 

Inciter Inchcocks Sunday 14th February 2021, Diary

TFZers in the Woods – Nibbling?


Sunday 14th February 2021

03:00hrs: I was still awake with cramps, evil, more persistent than ever, and had been driving me crazy, for five hours now. Hands, fingers and both lower legs!

As I gently eased my Goliath-like stomached body up onto the legs, the pain and unsteadiness made me plop back down into the recliner. Which really pleased Harold Haemorrhoids, I can tell yer! I waited patiently and started doing gentle leg exercises. I was actually a little nervous at walking, but the wee-wee was needed. So I grabbed Metal Micky, and gently slow-hobbled to the wet room, the bucket was full?

I went about six-feet or so, and the agony in the knees was chronic! Of course, a young full-blooded, healthy, dynamic person like me didn’t wince, swear, cringe, cry or give out noises that sounded a bit like a dying mousse! Took the wee-wee, it made me wonder how the bucket ever got filled last night, cause even with the after-dribbles, the whole effort wouldn’t have filled a coffee cup! I got the camera, to have a look at the state of the legs: They looked like they did last night, after Colin Cramp’s first half-hour attack. The muscles at the bottom of the leg, were all soft and gooey to touch, and the tops of the portion, seemed to have got fatter? There’s an apparent reason for this… but I don’t what it is.

It was clear to me that both of the old ulcer scars had been active on the surface, although once again, why, defeats me? While we’re on about my Not-Knowings, a lovely new bruise at the top of the leg? I’m sure I’d have remembered if I’d fallen over or walked into something? I’m not so sure now I’ve just said that… Hahaha!

I don’t know why I bothered, but I applied some Phorpain Gel where I could reach. I must have used half a tube last night, took extra Codeine, and later on, a Zapain (which was donated by a kind mystery resident, thank you). Germoloided poor Harold Haemorrhoids, and took the morning medications.

For a moment, the throat was parched, and when I coughed, I brought up a tremendous amount of phlegm.

At the back of my mind, I feared the bug was going to come back again. I wasn’t apprehensive, I laughed at the thought, and verbally challenged the flu bug to try again! Ahem!

I began the Pre-Dump Health Checks. At least the Boots Sphygmomanometer, had SYS down to 142. Dia 78, and thankfully, the pulse down to 87bpm.

The Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd, contactless thermometer temperature, down to 36.8°c. Things might be improving, eh?

I made up some bags of waste and added them to those already in the walker-guide box. Washed the pots, and off to the Porcelain Throne. Apart from some ferocious sounding, almost audible rumbles and grumbles in the wet room, along with some near-lethal microscopic escapages of wind, nothing happened? Things felt rock solid, methinks that this DESB (Daily-Evacuation-Stakes-Battle) between Trotsky Terence and Constipation Konrad, was one-sided, favouring Konrad! I gave it a good few minutes, just in case, like. I’ve been fooled and caught out before! In fact, I’m ace at it!

As I washed my hands, I noticed that the two packets of PP’s I’d bought, both had ladies wearing them on the wrapping? A closure inspection found they were Unisex, but the Tena ones were XXL! I’ll try one of these when I get the ablutions done, dying to find out what they are like.

After all that hassle with Morrisons and Sainsbury’s who substituted the wrong size PPs – Now Amazon have sent the wrong size as well. Tsk!

I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana. Took the medications, and onto the computer to update yesterdays Inchcock Today. After an hour or so, the second summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived, a little bubbling from within, told me one could be the real McCoy, off to the wet room.

I got settled down and got the crossword book handy, but it wasn’t needed. The rumbling inside felt like the old music played at the cinema, and things come to a crescendo – a few seconds later, the movement started, smooth as silk… a thunder of plop-plops, water hitting the rear-end, and it was all over! No pain at all! Well, I didn’t expect that! Nor, unfortunately, the copiousness of the flowing blood! Tsk! I’d just cleaned the bowl as well! As I looked down at the blood, it was all the same colour as poor old Herbert’s Haemorrhoids usually pass. That would be, I assume, blamed on my plopping back down on recliner as I first tried to get up. So, I wasn’t too concerned, I’ll get the ablutions done shortly and clean and Germoloid the little things.

I got the Post-Dump Healthier Checks done. The Sphygmomanometer had the SYS up to 163, DIA at 75, and the Pulse was 83bpm. This is not bad at all compared to what the last weeks readings have been.

The Chinese (Hong Kong) Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd, contactless thermometer, made me nervous though.

Mind you, it not in the red proper, more like an orange or amber.

The temperature was back in the red again, at 37.7°c – 99.86°f. It’s been higher on three of the ‘Flu-Affected’ days this week.

I’ve looked at the HC log, the SYS is more worrying now…

 If I’m not fretting, fearing or frightened of something, I’m just not happy! Hehehe!

Off to get the Ablutions sorted out. And what an unanticipatedly pleasant way to start this session! The look got an inspection while I was doing my teeth, I had to fetch the camera and see how they changed early morning? Fair enough the old ankle scars still look like they are about to get ready to erupt again, but they are not fooling me, they often do this, haven’t burst for well over a year now.

The shaving produced just two nicks. And Teeth and shaving combined, only five dropsies! On the other hand, the shower had I got a video of it, would have gone viral – at least ten dropsies! Two clouts on the grab bar, and decent headbutting of the power box! Followed up with a toe-stubbing against the shower chair. Ah, well! The medicationalisationing went fine! Too well, it was worrying!

I remembered to put one of the XXL PP’s on to see how they fitted. Just look at the size of them.

*At least if I get caught out in a snowstorm, I can use them for a tent! Hehehe!

*If I sneeze, I might jump out of them?

*They are comfortable enough, though, just a little tight under the armpits.

Har-Har! I’m back on form with the witticisms. I must be getting better.

Unlucky in shop substitutes, lucky in love. No, that’s not right…

Time to get my chef’s hat on, and prepare Josie’s cheesy potato nosh. A reet treat this week. The cheesy mash was p[probably the best I’ve ever made, mind you, it cost a bomb, it the butter, Leicester Cheese, strained Tuna Chunks, Surimi sticks, tomatoes roast crispy onions, pickled egg, demerara-sugared garden peas, Baby bell coins, Pink Gin and Tonic, cream strawberry, or is it a raspberry trifle. Ah, I’ve just put the photo on the blog – can you see a face in the potatoes, of a fish? I’ll make it a little larger.

Delivered it, I don’t want to spoil Josie and overdo it, she might expect a feast each Sunday, then. Hahaha! She seemed to like the look of it.

I made a start on removing the waste to the chute room. Through the lonely, abandoned, eerie 12th floor. Haha!

The top middle picture shows some light coming at the end of the lobby, through from the window that views the back of Woodthorpe Grange Park.

The windows cannot be got at to clean either, but the site of the frozen snow on one part of the field, and hardly anywhere else. A closer look, the area had been fenced off.

I didn’t go back to the flat, I went and got a lift down to Jenny’s apartment. Dropped of some nibbles for the three of them. That’s Jenny, Nora and Frank. I really do miss having a natter, chinwag, moan, gossip, call it what you will. Ahh!

Dropped the bag outside the folk’s door, and back to get a lift up to my floor. The notice was on the lift floor.

Had a bit of a wait to get an elevator back up, and tried to take a photo with my reflection against the lift doors.

I got back up to the flat in no time, and en route, the shivers came over me, and some phlegm came up. I do pray that the flu isn’t trying to come back. Or, whatever it was. Please!

Got the trolley in the corner in the hallway, and guess what? I found waste and recycling bags I’d missed loading – so I loaded them. Tsk!

The Amazon treats arrived, I intend to hand these out as thanks for the help I get. Jenny, Doris and Frank, the nurses and the ILCs. The review I read on these lemon wafers, indication aa certain deliciousness!

I spent the next five hours doing this blog, then decided to stop, cause I was done-in suddenly. I’ll make some sarnies for my nosh and a few tomatoes methinks. Which I did, and it went down a treat! Flavour rating was a decent, nae, highly satisfactory 8/10.

When I settled and got me feet up, almost instantly, and Colin Cramps kicked off, legs the worst, but the hands and fingers were put through the mill a bit. Thank heavens, it didn’t go on all night for the third time. But I’d been drinking a lot of spring water throughout the day, this may have eased things, but I don’t know.

TTFN.

.

Incrusted Inchcock – Friday 12th February 2021

♥ A gang of TFZers at the Pond again – Mary loves that dingy! ♥


Friday 12th February 2021

Finnish: Perjantai 12 Helmikuuta 2021

22:45hrs: Not going to get much done again on this diary. I woke from slumber, more than sleep. The painful dry, sore throat, tight chest, dizziness, loss of balance, shivering, and the inability to organise the littlest thing, (that’s a new one!) and the eyes were running, then the coughing started off.

I’d hoped the Doctor yesterday, would have suggested something for me to take to ease the symptoms, but no.

I got the B.P. taken, the Sys and Dia seemed alright-ish to me. The Pulse was again so very high, this time at 97bpm—the Chinese (Hong Kong) made by, Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd, contactless thermometer, was up in the danger-Red section, at 38.1°c.  Oh, dearie me!

I forced myself to get the updating of yesterday’s minimal news diary done. I was confused and struggling to get things done. Concentration kaputt!

But pressed on, keeping amazingly calm about things?

Sent it off, emailed the link.

To the kitchen, with the intention to get some potatoes into the crock-pot for, later on,  might be up to eating something then. Then I saw the dollop of a stew I’d made yesterday and not eaten, I even tried stirring it to see if it looked eatable. It wasn’t!

I threw it away, took me ages to drain and double-bag it, so it didn’t leak in the chute.

Then I got the new potatoes in the slow-cooker and left then on a high setting. Later, I must remember to keep an eye on it and turn it down to low.

I had a turn, and I decided to sit down for a while. Well, I was feeling awful and considered pressing the wristlet alarm. I fell to sleep for about five hours! I must have needed it, my body was telling me?

I woke, and it was completely disoriented. I took me a while to reclaim my awareness and work out what had happened. Then it dawned on me about the potatoes in the crock-pot, Oh, heck!

Off into the kitchen to check on the spuds… well it’s hard to believe I know, a man of my calibre as well, but I’d not turned the power on at the socket! So, I did!

As I decided I’d better get the ablutions sorted, along came the Porcelain Throne summoning. That was a messy job, painless mind, so no complaints from me. Trotsky Terence was making a determined comeback! And what a mess to clean up afterwards, at least I handily placed. Hehehe!

I opted for a stand-up wash, else I would be late getting to see Deana, to get her to call 119 for me. The teeth cleaning had three dropsies, a neuropathic arm wobble, and a cut gum. The shaving had four dropsies, all razors, and only one tiny cut!

Medicationalisationing went well, and the dressing only one mini-tumble, no harm. I got the trolley-guide and made my way out and down the lift.

Out through the caretakers’ passage, onto Chestnut Walk… Gawd, it was cold out there… Brrr!

♫ I simply must go (But, baby, it’s cold outside)
The answer is no (But, baby, it’s cold outside)
Your welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (Look out the window at the storm)
My sister will be suspicious (Gosh your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon the tropical shore)
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious (Gosh your lips are delicious)
But maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before)
I’ve gotta get home (But, baby, you’d freeze out there)
Say, lend me a coat (It’s up to your knees out there)
You’ve really been grand (I thrill when you touch my hand)
But don’t you see? (How can you do this thing to me?)
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (Think of my lifelong sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied (If you got pneumonia and died)

Sorry about that, I went off track a little there.

Got into Winwood Court, and knocked on the  Wardens, and ILCs (Independent Living Coordinators) Interrogation and body-search room Only Generaloberstess, Ice-skating champion, Warden Julie in, she was on the phone, so no bother, I waited until she’d finished. Then explained the situation, and she said she’d call the 119 number and arrange a testing kit to sent to me. I thanked her and back to Woodthorpe Court. 

The ground floor lobby had been creeded, a message on the board was about the laundry room being closed for flooring in there. There was not a soul to be seen. And, I got the lift quickly enough. Both were on the fifteenth floor together when I got to the lobby, never seen that before. Not that it matters, I don’t know I mentioned it now. Haha!

I got back to the flat, and I found a bag on the floor outside the door. Dang, dang, dang… dang! I opened the bag, to find a pair of comfy looking slipper boots! They could have only come from Jenny, I was sure of it.

I got the trolley stored in the corner, and I began to sweat profusely. Bit of dizzy came over me, and the telephone rang at the same time. It was Jenny, I’m afraid that what we spoke about is lost in the ether, I really am not feeling too good again. I hope I thanked her for the slippers. ♥

As much as I love it when someone calls me, at this time, in my state, I couldn’t really grasp what was what. Then Brother in Law Pete rang me. I have the same problem in remembering what we spoke about, which worries me, but seem to have the idea that it was a longish call, and I got more into it as time passed, and am confident that we had a laugh. I don’t like it when this almost instant forgetfulness comes over me. At times today, I’ve had moments of lucidity, short ones, fair enough, then I’d go back into the land of Confusion Conrad. My EQ spoke, telling me I can do nothing to help, go with the flow???

I checked the potatoes, and that I had really switched the power on, all okay! I had another sweating session, it was pouring out? Seconds later, it felt wet because it had stopped and cooled down. I wiped the head, and no signs of any pyretic dampness now? I wish they would send someone to look at me, even if only to convince me that I am or am not going bonkers!

I made my first mug of tea for ages, and I drank it okay, then maybe the taste buds are coming back online? I carried on with the blogging. During which, a message came up. Telling me that the Thompsons Punjana tea had been delivered. News to me? And even I can hear when both bells are pressed at the same time.

I went to check outside the door. Ah, there was the package of teabags! Well, that was right-good timing, I down to the last 50 or so Pumjana, so this perked me up a smidge! I got the bags from the box, into dry storage. I was so pleased that Amazon is still doing these bags because they are my second favourites of them all. Glengettie being the tip dogs.

There I was typing away again. I decided to get the second set of Health Checks done. And make a brew of course, but the tastebuds failed also! The SYS was up a smidge on the earlier results, at 150. DIA 69, Pulse at 96bpm.

The temperature reading made me cringe somewhat. 39.3°c – 102.74f!!! Oh, heck! Still, it didn’t matter to the Doctor when I told her yesterdays readings. But it worries me! The high Pulse rate and Temperature are far above the average expected. You can see by this I clipped from the XL file, if it keeps on going up, I’ll most likely internally combust! Hehehe! Does no one care? Daft question, I’ll take that back!

I was deep in concentration doing the blog, and the worst-ever visit from Dizzy Dennis came over me. I was sat down but still held onto the Hopewells E-plan, 1966 cabinet which the computer is on. I decided to press the panic alarm, I could not get out of the chair, I almost toppled over when I tried it…

Disaster, I’d left the alarm bracelet in the wet room. I gave it about ten minutes until the haziness lifted a little. Grabbed Metal Micky, and took the slowest ever limp to the wet room, carefully and nervously. When I got there and put the wristlet on, I was instantly nauseated, luckily it couldn’t have happened at a better time nor place, with me standing in front of the Throne at the time. I was sick into the bowl, not a lot, but it left a metallic taste in the mouth. I stayed in the wet room for a few minutes, just in case a second bilious bout was due. I began to feel much more comfortable in myself, the dizziness gone, but not the metallic taste in the mouth.

I’m getting miffed-off about whatever unembraced ailment that’s attached itself to me. Cold or flu mayhaps, it’s having a ball, with my body and mind as its toys! I bet Shakespeare would have liked to use this description? Hehehe!

I got back on the computer again, and noticed that the veins on the back of the right hand, were far less prominent than usual? There were far fewer showing through and lost the blue colouring that is normal for me. Hey-ho!

I got the medications belatedly taken with a drink of the spring water. It dawned on me that since this flu bug, I’ve missed no end of medications without realising? Might be a cause of the veins hiding? Then again, maybe not.

I have been thrown out of sync with the sleep being so varied these last few days. And when I glanced at the clock, was amazed to see it was an hour beyond my usual head-down time! Still, I’m feeling a little better since the spewing-up, I pressed on, and read and replied to some comments on WP.

In came another phone call, it was a lady from and about the Covid-19 vaccination. I answered her questions, and when I told her my condition, she said ‘We cannot do you until you are feeling well’. ( Feeling well, me? Come on!) So, I have to go through the laborious time consuming, booking routine again! This is sad, but can’t be helped. I mentioned that today’s body temperature was 39.3°c – 102.10°f, I was after confirmation that it was too high, really. But she just carried on talking as if I hadn’t spoken. So, I slipped in and mentioned that the Pulse was 39.3 bpm. Ignored again. But I understand, though, they must be terribly busy, so took no offence. Oh, dear, int life a bugger sometimes!

I tried again to get a delivery slot for the Amazon-Morrison order for next Saturday. But got it taken as being for tomorrow! Ah, well! The only delivery slot left as well. Luckily there is no frozen stuff on it, and only a couple of fresh things than need going in the already filled to capacity, fridge.

Took the evening medications. Went on WordPress reader, some fantastic photos and blogs on there today. Made a brew, and even with it being Thompsons Punjana, the taste bud would not allow me to drink it. Back to blogging.

A couple of hours later, and I went to make a brew of Glengettie tea. The taste-buds were not working, and it tasted foul. I took a couple of photos, ahead and to the left and right, from the new kitchens thick-framed, view-blocking, impossible to get at to clean, designed by some old-people hating draughtsman, for the Nottingham City Homes Management, who I find it hard to believe they would have fitted these types in an aged people complex (there that’ll get me thrown out, Hehe!)

Still, I’m happier here than at the old house by a mile. Even when in the lockdown, and not seeing anyone for weeks. Har-har! No that’s not night. I’ve seen the odd nurse, the fantastic wardens, delivery people and had a chat with the female ghost who haunts the flat. She didn’t reply, though.

As I stood up, Arthur Itis’s knees and especially Cathys Cartilage made me stop in my tracks. Yee-Gawd the agony! I got the sensation from my EQ that this may be a good sign. If whatever it is that has made into a gibbering, being sick, feverish, sore-throated, coughing wreck, just might be lessening its grip on me? Of course, it might be wrong, but in reality, is rarely so.

I dropped the pants and had a nosey at the legs. Not a pretty sight, Hehe! Something strange and supernatural was going on because the bullet hole from when I first got shot wound was clearly visible? Impossible innit? Cathy’s Cartilage had hardened a lot? The regular spider, trunk and reticular varicose ones, seem to have almost disappeared. Not to mention the hair on the knees that have also quixotically gone AWOL?

There’ll be reason and or cause for this. But it beats me what it is. The best guess is, it’s the effects from the obstreperous mysteries of Woodthorpe Court; the phantoms, kelpies, spectres, poltergeist, spirits, manifestations, zombies, demons, cacodemons, rakshasas, hellions, aliens, extraterrestrials, hobgoblins, apparitions, elfins, pishogues, apparitions, gremlins, ghosts, and goo-like ectoplasms! Thus, turning me into the querulous, jibbering wreck, I am today. Hehe!

Further proof that the flu bug was easing off was when I glanced at the clock, expecting to see something like 14:00 to 1500 hrs, it was 19:30hrs! This bug has done a good job on me, I’m disoriented, confused and fed-up. I pray it is not playing a cunning ploy with me and returns full-blast again. But I do feel a bit better, at this precise moment. The shivering, sweating and eye aches have reduced greatly. God willing! Fingers crossed. And some else, the wee-wees have dried up, I had many less than usual today? I know I’ve not been drinking so much tea because the taste-buds failure makes the tea taste horrible, but I’ve more than made up this in the fluid intake with the spring water. Confusion Conrad is visiting again. Haha!

Did you notice that? My sarcasm and humour are returning! I must be getting better!

I’m suddenly feeling so weary. No idea if I’ll be able to sleep, so I kept on blogging on this post, see how it goes. It’s 22:00hrs now.

I’ll have to get my head down, I’ve not… Fungleboggles! The potatoes. I quickly got up, but no serious loss of balance and off to check the crockpot. Which was looking fine, such are values of using a slow-cooker,

But, in my haste to get to the kitchenette, I clouted my shoulder against the door frame, knocking down some hand-washed clothes. This kicked SSS Shuddering Shoulder-Shirley off. And bending to pick up and sort the gear, BPB Back-Pain Brenda joined the list of activated ailments. I felt like things were coming back to near normal now! Hahaha!

I took an extra pain-killer with the much, oh, so very late evening medications.

I turned off the computer, and I got a nosh of sorts made-up, and I thought this time, I might enjoy eating! I savoured the overcooked potatoes though, I’d added a drop of Soy sauce, and, could taste it! Methinks the linguae are slowly getting back to working again. Grrreat! I just left the tray on the second-hand, imitation leather, splitting various places, and with a broken wheel, chair. And put the TV on, that’s bound to send me into the land of nod. I thought.

But no! Unaware of what I was watching, I waited for the commercial break to come on. Then, Colin Cramps started in the left hand, and sleep was out of the question. I got the Phorpain from the Ottoman, and I rubbed it in well, but it didn’t seem to ease things at all. Then I tried, an extra Codeine 60g, again without getting any relief. I was getting more and more frustrated. A couple of hours later, Colin Cramps eased off in his attack on the left hand. Minutes later, it was the lower left leg that caught his venom! Phorpaining, the leg, was so painful getting to it, that BPB kicked off. I was in near agony for another hour or so, until Colin got fed-up, and departed.

Somewhere around 03:00hrs, it was, I think, I got off to sleep. And apart from one taking a wee-wee, slept for 4 hours, waking at 07:00hrs, feeling much better!

Intaglioed Inchcock -Wednesday 10th February 2010 Diary

TFZer Lillie – I wish it were true!

Wednesday 10th February 2010

Tuesday 21:10hrs: Gave up trying to get any sleep, and got up. Had a wee-wee, made a brew, and begot another wee-wee.

A persistent dry cough seems to have developed?

I made a start on updating the Tuesday diary and pressed forth with it for a couple of hours. Had a wee-wee, made a mug of Glengettie tea, and the stomach started rumbling and grumbling a little threateningly. Off to the Porcelain Throne with as much haste as I could summon.

I got myself seated, and thought I’d sat on a thysiastery! Gawd, did I go through it. Trotsky Terence ensured that the splattering, sploshing and misery of a vicious aching stomach, as things flowed, shot and squirted out! I put this miserable evacuation down to my having had a little too much flavouring and peppers in the CCC (Chilli-Con-Carne) last night. I was feeling so nauseous, queasy and weak afterwards. Never has one man, had so much cleaning up to do after an evacuation! The only thing good about it was that the nearly all liquid vacated product was cleared with one flush! The clearing and cleaning of the splashes and myself took me ages.

A weakened, slightly demoralised, stomach ache-suffering Inchcock, returned to the computer, realising that had he not got up so ridiculously early, it would have so much worse a catastrophe, as the gurgling started, if I was still in the recliner at the time. I certainly would never have made it to the wet room in time! This thought made me feel a little better, not well! But not so bad. Of course, the tight innards and stabbing pains continuing told me to be ready for another calling to the Porcelain Throne Thysiastery again soon!

I had another wee-wee, washed, and went to make another mug of Glengettie tea. And started the Health Checks off.

The BP, had a low SYS of 150, DIA of 72, and the Pulse was 84bpm.

In Hong Kong, by the Chinese Harpin Xian Di Company, a reliable contactless thermometer gave a good reading in the green, of 36.7°c – 98.06°f. Which is fair enough for me.

Another wee-wee, then I got back to updating the blog. Finished it, had a wee-wee, washed, made another brew (Thompsons Punjana this time), then posted the Diary to WordPress. Pinterested some snaps emailed the link, and I went on Facebook catch-up.

The innards were actually getting more bothersome now, a second calling is on the cards soon, methinks.

A wee-wee and mug of Glengettie, and snapped a half-decent morning shot of the view from the thick-frames light and view-blocking kitchen window.

Then I went onto CorelDraw to get the templates built. I had a decent crack at it and got a couple made up.

Then a dual-reasoned visit to the wet-room, on my way to get the ablutions started, and gurgling from the innards, along with simultaneous involuntary movements from the rear end, forced, me to imitate a Cruise Missile, and go like the clappers to get to the Porcelain Throne (2) in time! I made it by a whisker, Phew! I much different evacuation this time. I think the Constipation Konrad is fighting back for supremacy, he’s still a long way off of winning, but the product was like mini-waffles, painful for the first time in five or six visits, but still not messy. I look forward to visiting the Throne for the third time, with fear, anticipation and dread! 

Not really, I just thought it was a humorous thing to say. I’m going batty, losing my trains of thoughts, and going batty, you know?

However, there was a silver-ling detected, in the wet room, and I was in there for a long time with the Throne visit as well, but apart from the accompanying wee-wee on the Porcelain, for over an hour, I did not need a wee-wee! Leery-Smile-Given! Which didn’t last for long, this was going to be one of my better ablution sessions. Still, I had a few decent ones lately!

Teeth cleaning, I lost another chunk from the top molar that is breaking up, but only one drop of the toothpaste tube! – Shaving, five dropsies, three nicks, and I broke one of the razors… Please don’t ask how; one-second there I was shaving my neck hole, humming away merrily to myself, and suddenly bits of plastic and the blade just dropped through my fingers down my back, and onto the floor?

The showering was not so good either. This was worrying a bit at first, and slightly, erm, crude, but I’ll tell you. I’d been round the rear-end having the crevises shower gelled, the old loofah did its job.

As I turned to change the heat level on the panel, the adventitious right leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance kicked-off, with a short but brutal flailing performance, and had me down on one knee – which Arthur Itis and Cartilage Cathy were not happy with! Argh! Getting back up (Thank heavens for the grab bars), spurred BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda), into giving me what-for as well! Double-Argh! 

At least the feet and legs, apart from the knees, were looking good.

If anyone had told me 70-years-ago, that I’d end up with all these ailments, have a heart operation, lose my memory, start stuttering, get shot, twice! Have trouble with the ears and eyes, contract Rheumatoid Arthritis, a Duodenal ulcer, get Peripheral Neuropathy, a stroke, diabetes etc. I would have laughed at them! Sad innit?

Anyway, medicationalisationing went well.

I made some brekkers. And tried to get a Morrison delivery slot for next week. It would have been easier to but some Rocking Horse sh…, but never mind.

I got some waste bags made up and put them in the walker-guide bag in the hallway.

Off to the kitchenette to make another brew of Glengettie. And I took four pictures with the Canon camera, of the beautiful morning view as the sun proffered shadows, and tried to come out to melt the earlier snow.

The dry coughing is no better yet.

I got an email from Sister Jane, with a humorous letter (photo), from the Nottingham Post newspaper, letters section. I had to smile at it!

I got the silly ode-blog made up and posted it off.

The Sainsbury order is due tonight, far too late for me, but it’s the only one I could get. Grumble-, moan, sob! Sainsbury’s email informed me that the shortages on order, were: Disinfectant, antiperspirant, shelled peas, leeks, and Sourdough bread, when I tried to scroll down further, a message informed me: Well fancy that!

With last weeks black-spotted potatoes, short-dated cooked meats, and no bread etc. how do they keep customers? Obvious to me, we proletariats, are stuck at home with the lockdown, have little option but to use them (Sainsbury’s). Iceland sent me green potatoes, chicken with one day’s life on it, and no sandwich thins or leeks, oh, and a leaking bottle of liquid soap! Asda refuse to come inside the building! Life is getting messier all the time! 

To try not to fall asleep and miss the Sainsbury order, (I know, it’s still five hours away, but with no sleep last night, if I did drop-off, it might be for a long time? I got on with doing the templates again.

I spent several hours trying to get the Kodak camera to work. It didn’t help with not knowing what the hell I was doing, should be doing, or even had done. But I kept my wonderful 100% record intact, and failed totally!

I cried, and then I tried again to get a Morrison order (through Amazon) in. Whippee! Got one for the morning, twixt 8>10AM I also ordered some more Thompsons Punjana tea bags.

Of course, I forgot all about the Sainsbury order coming this evening. Will I stay awake, or not? Wot a clot! Took these shots while waiting.

I found this photo on the DD card, why I took it. I’ve no memory of!

I was well done-in, by the time the intercom chimed out, from the Sainsbury driver. He asked why he had to come into the flats? I went down to meet him, we went up, and he deposited the nosh in the hallway. To shattered to make a proper meal, and the coughing and shivering started. At least I had a reet-treat, in some French Horn cake, I thought of Janet Aarron when I ate them, she has a fancy for them.

Washed the pots, took this snap of Chestnut Walk.

Got down and soon drifted off, but the coughing kept waking me up.

Not feeling good at all.