Political satire – Page 24

Parliament: Where will we find…

Parliament: Where You Will find…

This Ode was created by Inchcock as he was making a cup of tea to take his multiple medications, apply his Permethrin cream and change his bandages.

Where will we find people so very temperamental?

Those who consider fiddling as fundamental?

Nasty self bias people: cruel, vile and a little mental?

Scheming people being unscrupulous and instrumental?

Slippery, deceitful, cheating, and lying elemental?

Folk who seem inhuman, arrogant and ornamental?

Where will we find them, along with nothing sentimental?

Members who find lying, and criminality just incidental?

Where will we find dangerous people, who to us are detrimental?

Those who cheat and get off scot-free, being so inscrutable,

Scum who find self interest and nepotism so ingestible,

The cream of the vain, narcissistic and pure egotistical

We’ll find them all in anything that’s Governmental!

Nottingham Ice-cream manufacturer – new flavours to honour MPs

Ice-cream manufacturer Inchcock & Co are producing new flavours and names of ice-cream concoctions, in honour of individual MP’s and Political Parties performances in the Government, and opposition.

Here is the full list to be available soon:

In Honour of: Nick Clegg

Flavour/Name: Silent Souffle

In Honour of: Ed Balls

Flavour/Name: Stuffed British Gooseberries

In Honour of: David Cameron

Flavour/Name: Floral & Sweet Vanilla Mix & Nepotist Twist

In Honour of: Theresa May

Flavour/Name: Dwarf Defence Damsons

In Honour of: Liam Fox

Flavour/Name: Fiddler’s fricassee

In Honour of: Vincent Cable

Flavour/Name: Mango Benefits Sorbet

In Honour of: Duncan Smith

Flavour/Name: Speedy Gonzales Gateau

In Honour of: Chris Huhne

Flavour/Name: Sour Grapes on an empty bed of NHS

In Honour of: Andrew Lansley

Flavour/Name: Borstal blancmange

In Honour of: Michael Gove

Flavour/Name: Collage of Curry

In Honour of: Eric Pickles

Flavour/Name: Fricassee of Fatuous Freaks

In Honour of: Honourable Lord Strathclyde Leader of the House of Lords

Flavour/Name: Watermelon Throw-away Surprise

In Honour of: Oliver Letwin

Flavour/Name: Old fashioned salad with Honeydew drips

In Honour of: The Labour Party

Flavour/Name: Lemons with little crumbs inside

In Honour of: The Lib-Dem Party

Flavour/Name: Cream of Chrematomania

In Honour of: The Conservative Party

Flavour/Name: Sour Grapefruit with spoon-in-the-mouth topping

In Honour of: The Conservative Party

Flavour/Name: Sour Grapefruit with spoon-in-the-mouth topping

Politicians Ode

They just tell untruths, for they cannot legally lie,

To keep or get into power, with anyone they’ll ally,

They shop at Harrods, not at the local ‘Bring & Buy’,

They seem to set the rules, that they themselves do not apply,

Their expense claims are fiddled, and go high and awry,

The laws of ethics and morality they always manage to defy,

They’ve the compassion of the sleeping sickness biting TseTse fly,

Being fair, honest and trustworthy, these also passed them by,

Their own salaries, they set so very overly high,

Nepotists they are, to last gal, gay and guy,

Surely their expenses fiddling they cannot deny?

To cover their shady dealings, they will surely try,

Only at elections, do they consider the electorate small fry,

Shame on the idiots who vote them in – like you and I,

Their Party Political broadcasts, are weirder than any Sci-Fi,

But more unbelievable, ambiguous, fallacious and wry,

Philargyrists (Lovers of money) with a very ample supply,

Their greedy uncaring attitude makes one want to wail and cry,

Where do the worst ones come from, Eton is the reply,

Rich mummies & daddies, taught them to be superior, not shy,

You can’t get into Government without the old school tie,

Their perfidiousness and double-dealing I cannot justify,

I’ve said my bit now, so have a good day, good-bye!

TTFN