Receptive Aphasia Phyllis

Ickier Inchy: Friday 26th April 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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The blessed, unaccountable reduction in the agony, down to merely a bothersome pain. It is now reverting again. Slowly, it is getting worse and more frequent, but I have hopes. It is currently estimated at 50% of the high reached over the two previous days. In the morning, I will have an ablution session, concentrate, and cream the ‘delicate’ area (Little Inchies zone). Getting the new catheter bag pouch off and on might be a stumbling block, with having to bend to get it off and then on without damaging the frail cotton it’s made of. (Fingers crossed on that one) We’ll see how it goes. At least I have some Codeines to ease the pain now. 
I’m sure I had a  or during the day. Some were in which I was doing things, albeit making a mess of them, but I had no memory of them. One, in the afternoon, was a cracker. It was as if I just blinked, and two hours were lost. After the blink, I could not see that I’d done anything. Had I unknowingly nodded off, perhaps? Indeed, if I had dozed, I’d still be getting the leg dances as I had all day and would have fallen off of the chair?
Is it all a part of the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and my failing mentality and physicality. That taunt, irritate, and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? Just a thought.
I lost so much time being out of it that tomorrow morning at 09:40 hrs, I’ve only just started this blog.
Oh, dearie me. Hehehe!

05:25hrs: I stirred back reluctantly to life. (I’d had a dream that I’d died and was arguing with St Peter at his gates. No details were available; I was just getting irate with him over something. (Mayhap he wanted to send me back to earth?) Haha!
I cannot recall taking this, but I must have; it was on the SD card in order. Looking at it with the spyglass, it seemed rather shaky.
A reversal in evacuation stakes this morning.
Trotsky Terence’s return was short-lived. Still, on the bright side, it meant far less time, and aches needed to be cleaned up after the session.
I went back to putting on the Unisex Protection Pants today. Yesterday, the new Tena ones were a little loose, which meant Little Inchie and his lesion got scuffed a few times. Not that the pain bothers me. Oh, no!
I got the out of the pouch holder relatively quickly. Mainly because it was so full, which helped.
However, when it came to getting things back on again, it took me ages and a lot of frustration to do so. (Pain as well)  I ripped the side of the leg bag getting it back on. I also knocked the burn scar on the right hand from the oven-singeing against the grab bar, the skin broke, and blood flowed.
One of my better days.

Minutes before my first ‘Blank’, I took this snap of the Woodthorpe Court end car park.
Hours later, I could see nothing had been done on the blog or cleaning, and the notepad barely had three lines of reminders on it. Hurumph!

Because I’m a Pareidolist,
Finding figures I can’t resist,
Faces, animals I can detect…
In the clouds, even with mist,
Yet, I’m no astrologist,
Maybe I’m an illusionist?
I wanted to be a harpsichordist,
Nature at her bestest…
Because I’m a Pareidolist,

The day’s views from my little kitchenette. Of the clouds on display, for me to find things hidden within. A goose, a tree,  fingers, three faces… no, four! A snake, a mouse, there’s probably more.
I can’t be sure. There is no possible cure. For my habit, I’m a Pareidolist.

A different type of nosh today.
Vegetarian sausages (8.8/10), Milk Roll Bread (8/10), Air-Fried Chips (6.5/10), and ketchup with pickle (8.2/10). I can’t work out the average, But I’ll try. With the help of the Windows calculator, I made the average 7.875/10?

I may struggle to get a blog done tomorrow, folks. Or it will be a short one, if at all. Things medicationalistically are not good,  pain-wise again, today. Saturday at just gone 17:50hrs, must get things sorted after a meal. I’m just getting this finished to send off. Nothing has been done on Starudays blog yet. And I’m on the verge of depression. But I will not allow it to get to me today. Will-Power, huh! Naturally this may be or not, so what! Just another of life’s aims shot. 

I am a clot! With acne back on my clock!

TTFNski!

Idiot Inchy: Wednesday 24th April 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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Sorry, folks, but I’ve been handicapped with pain like never before. Many regulars missing today. Concentration destroyed. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
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Number four on the colour scale, methinks

Kitchen window view

Wet room, ablutions and failed Porcelain Throne session.

Carer Shaquille arrived and sorted the medications

The pains from the Catheter Tube were getting even worse now. Poor Little Inchie was suffering. Doing my head in!
The legs and ankles looked a lot better, though.

Thought the balcony doors.

Carer Kara called. I can’t recall much of this visit. I may have had a Seizure or Mind Blank.

I do recall Carer Marie coming. I’d just spilt some disinfectant as she arrived, and she set to cleaning it up for me.

I never really got into things blog-wise today. The vicious pains just did not stop… well, until I got settled in bed, then they eased a bit. Took me a while to find a more comfortable position to lay in. Sort of warped, but it worked. The second I moved, back came the agony. Tsk!

Sky photos were taken during the day and evening.
Through the balcony.

Lovely sundown.
Love the hue.
A little later.

Carer Israel came, did the socks off, and night bag on. This ensured the pain persisted for a while. No Codeines are available. I hope they arrive today or tomorrow. 

I was washing up, and I spotted yet another fire in Sherwood. Heard the brigade klaxons as I settled down.

TTFN.

Illusionable Inchie: Sunday 21st April 2024

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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The three most annoying things currently harassing  me are the following:

① Peripheral Neuropathy Pete dying off neurotransmitters are not letting me sense the keyboard buttons as I press them, resulting in far too many corrections were and are needed; no doubt I’ve missed some of them. Ruining my concentration.  
② The ankle electric shocks are much more frequent.
③ By far, the worst of these handicaps, ailments, pains, and frustrations is the unregulated nasty, agony-giving twinges emanating from the poor Little Inchie via the inserted catheter tube. This was much more unfortunate because I could not find a position where they ease off. I can sit still and be relatively pain-free, and then they return without me doing anything! I’ve tried adjusting the Protection Pants, but that doesn’t change anything. Yet, at times, I can be hobbling along with the walking stick, and the pain dissipates? As for bending down or stretching, they are a no-no.
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I rose from the bed at 05:10 hrs. First, I detached the nocturnal catheter pouch.

Then, I went to the wet room; the Porcelain Throat was needed.
Just a little painful.

This is a fantastic view from the kitchen window. Unfortunately, the blotches were caught in all the external photographs today, Humph! 

Working on the blog, and a Carer arrived. Same chap as last week, a nice young man. He issued the medications and got the diabetic socks on my legs.
With the pain from Little Inchie, I asked him if he could help me put on the just-delivered Depend pants. He willingly agreed to help me out.

I got the pants pulled up, and that instant, the pain level from Little Inchie trebled!
It was torture! I soon changed my mind, and at the same time, self-loathing erupted when I realised what I’d done… Again! I ordered the wrong size pants, Small instead of large! I’d pissed myself off, something wicked! The genitals were crushed as the catheter tube pulled tight! I grabbed the scissors post-haste and cut the PPs off. 
Then I asked the lad if he’d help me put on a pair of normal PPs. He was patient with me and assisted me once more. The pain continued anyway, off and on, without evident causation? These white pants are so thick that I think they catch Little Inchie more than the slimmer ones, but they are just as effective as the Depend ones. I ensured the lad was treated to nibbles and drinkies by showing my appreciation for his time. It was his last night shift call, and I felt a smidge sad at keeping him from getting home.

After he’d departed, I made a brew of Glengettie. I took this snap with the usual blotches on it. Nice colouring, all the same.

I made up a waste bag and got on with the blogging, albeit stumblingly and error-ridden. These white pants continued hurting things below. I took an extra Codeine, hoping it might ease things. Huh! Of course, it did nothing to help pain-wise.

Carer Kimberley arrived. She knew I was in pain and showed concern; bless her. I told her of the earlier woes with Little Inchie. I decided to hand her the box of 30 Depend pants: no, 29 now I’ve tried on and scissored off one pair. Hahaha! My wondering wrongly cost me a good bit of cash! But thought that if I sent the box to Meridian to issue or use someone else… with less of a midriff on them, and they have also been catheterised, then they could possibly use them in the event that they run out!
♬ If I can help somebody as I grovel along,
Help somebody with Protection Pants or a song
If I can help somebody from doing wrong,
Do a bit of good before I’m gone…
Then, my living shall not be in vain! ♬

I then ordered some large protection pants from the Amazon site. I made double-sure I’d ordered the correct size this time! Well, I did that last time (Well, I thought that I had) and still got it wrong, didn’t I? These were also dearer, but they looked more comfortable and seemingly had a waistband on them. We’ll see when they arrive. Amazon said they would deliver on Tuesday, which is good cause I’m going to Nottingham City Hospital tomorrow. To have the knees and ankles checked for Arthritis and Cartilage problems. Now there’s a word... problems! I just had a glancing idea for an ode, then. I’ll make a note and try it out for tomorrow’s Ode… then again, maybe not. Cause the lift to the City is coming really early, and I need to get things ready to go with me, they gave me a list… When I find it, I’ll check what’s on it. I must finish blogging early today to do the shower & ablutions and ready the clothing. I hope that a carer comes in the morning to help me with the pants and trousers, socks and shoes on, make sure I’ve got everything sorted and make sure that the flat is left safely… I’m nervous now, just thinking about what can go wrong! There’s no limit to that!

There were so many blotches on this snap of a puffer cloud that I was disappointed. I’ve tried cleaning the lens with a cleaner stick and impregnated tissues. Yet still they appear? Such are the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchie to curse with lousy luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. Worry and confuse me! Cataract Katie, Neuropathy Pete, Doreen Dementia and Incogniscent Iris are the main culprits. There are others, of course.

There are beautiful clouds in the sky. But I suppose that’s where one would expect them to be. Hehehe!
I took this one from the balcony without opening the windows. I can see just one botch in it, which is hard to differentiate amongst the clouds.

The day catheter bag nearly caught me out yet again, with it suddenly filling up so quickly.

Carer Colin, I think it was, came on the next visit. He was a pleasant lad, but I often found it hard to hear what he was saying.

Later, the sun burst through, and I took this shot of the virtually mud-less end car park. A jolly good mixture of vehicle colours was on show for our perusal. The light blue one, as per usual, parked on the yellow chevron ‘do-not-park-here’ lines. But hey, why should I bother?

Getting a smidge darker out there now. Another gorgeous selection of clouds to find figures in!

 

Then, blow me, if half an hour later, out came the sun again, forcing her way through the ever-darkening clouds. Mayhap, a ‘Goodnight all!’ message? Hehehe!

Better get some fodder sorted out, then… off to the kitchenette, and I conjured up a simple meal for a simple, tired old man.
I enjoyed this one, especially the cunningly cooked potatoes in the crock pot that I sliced while still hot, sprayed with oil, and put into the preheated oven for ten minutes with the vegetable pastie. I ate it all up, washed the utensils and plate, and swiftly fell asleep watching the goggle box.

Carer Richard arrived.
He sorted the medications, and I asked him to remove the diabetic socks. I asked him if he could call earlier in the morning and explain the hospital visit.
Said my farewells and climbed into the hospital bed so kindly supplied for me. It took a while for me to get into a position that didn’t give pain from the catheter tube, and I was soon off on the land of nod.
Ahhh!

TTFNski

Ignorant Inchy: Tuesday 16th April 2024

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

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As days go by, I would not have missed this one had it disappeared into the ether. Cock-ups, confusion,  worry, semi-panics, depressions, frustrations, apprehensions, fears, dejections, rejections, vexations, and complications. Making it even worse, self-pity visited a few times. More killings and stabbings. A , and the persistent today .
Still, it could always be worse.
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Woke around 06:30hrs: Having slept, albeit a broken sleep, for over 6 hours! Dark urine again.

Topped up the freebie thank you drinks shelves. Much more choice for the Carers & Nurses.

Put the waste bags in one.

A hard work getting the motion to start.

The Asda order arrived.
It took me some time to get all the bags into the kitchenette. In doing so, I suffered a little bit of a . I caught my ankle ulcer against something sharp in the bag I was carrying.
I brushed the bag against it, but it was no bother. I didn’t howl, wince, swear, or anything of that nature. I laughed it all off and merrily carried on carrying the bags in.

Instant mash with cheese, pork pie, bacon off-cuts, Lactofree milk and some haddock goujons. Never tried these before in a light batter; it might just suit my taste buds, but …When I was taking them with the other fresh foods to the refrigerator, I dropped some stuff and then . And proceeded to tread on the goujon packet, and the pack burst open, distributing the crushed fish bit around the kitchen floor! This time, I did howl, wince, and swear a bit. Got some antiseptic cream on the wound, and carried on sorting the food out.
A selection of naughty but nice desserts, seasoned potato slices and mash, tomatoes, pasties & a packet of coffee bags for the carers to make and drink in their restroom. The tomatoes were Dutch and delightful!
Milk Roll soft sliced bread. Brown French baguettes, cheap kitchen towels.
I think that the fridge has never been fuller. 
I’ve still got the pasta packets to use up. I think, just maybe, I am a little nervous from when I scalded my hand months ago.
The Freezer is also fuller than ever. I will not receive any more food deliveries until next week. I even had to throw away some dated stuff to make room for the bread and baguettes, which now will fit into the freezer drawers. Carer Kara later took them with the other bags to the chute for me. ♥

Concentrating on blogging for ages and ages, I suddenly noticed that it was light now. Thought I’d take a picture of the view on offer. Such a gorgeous sky. I also realised that I’d been up for a long time, and it was now 11:00hrs… and no morning carer had been – or had they? 
I knew I’d had a earlier this morning and was toying with my head. Uncertainty, doubtfulness, and an unreliable trust in my own memory.Had someone been or not? That is the question at hand now. Surely someone had been by now? I could not get anything from my memory box about one. Not that this is unusual. The first clue of any positivity was that I had not got the diabetic socks on. (But this has happened often before, when I forget to ask the Carer to take them off at night or to put them on in the morning). In fact, I had wrapped a throw around my legs to keep warm while on the computer – doubts still lingered, and I didn’t want to ring about it for fear of being told that I was talking rubbish again. A lingering doubt in question… was could I be certain or not? I still couldn’t decide. I was too nervous to ring to check. I’ll wait until the midday Carer calls and check with her/him. I was baffling myself. Battling a battered brain and unreliable, failing memory-blank is not easy. I’d say the words to use are ‘Frustrating’, ‘Embarrassing’, ‘Annoying’ and ‘Hopeless! If only the social and medical helpers would read this blog, they would learn more about the problems that I will no doubt forget about within days. Humph!
That’s something else that concerns me about my memory, well, more like amazes me. Sometimes, when writing the blog, I am able to press on, but once I am interrupted or waylaid by the door chime, a phone call, having to empty the catheter bag, the need to check if I’d left the taps running, a visit to the , cooker on, fridge door open, etc., getting back into it is a real struggle. 
I’m still not certain that a Carer did not call! Doubts linger on, and an awareness that things are not going to get any easier worry me now. Although, if (when) I do get worse, I may not be aware and stop fretting over the situation? I’m becoming a bag of nerves and fears. But only part-time, now and again?
I waffled on a bit there, sorry.

I’m back on with the blogging. And shortly arrived. I was still in a state of semi-confusion when Kara came. I mentioned my doubts to her. She checked something on the mobile and then looked at the record log. (I wish I’d done that earlier, Tsk!).
Kara gave me the early morning medications and got my socks me legs. She has no time now, but she’ll try to help me tomorrow with the confusing emails that I’ve received. She took the bags with her and did the Safety checks on the taps, doors, and stove were not left on.  Thank you ♥!

Memory Blanks again.
I assume I took these shots at different times in the late afternoon. I’m pretty certain, but not sure, of the artistic clouds in the sky. The second shot down tempted my Pareidoliaising instincts. To my eyes and mind, it reminded me of all things, of the Red Dwarf spaceship? Not so much now after I’ve put it in and looked again though. Can anyone else see it? Or is it just me? Hehehe!
The well urine filled almost caught me out.
What a relief! Haha! The backflow pains gave me the nod that it needed emptying post-haste.

Carer Chris did the last two calls. Nibbles and a drinkie. Night pouch attached, diabetic socks removed. He left me nodding off. Hehe!

I nodded off as soon as the lad had gone and had the best sleep I’ve enjoyed for ages. It was a short but Shock-free session, and I was soon back up again at 02:10 hours, needing the Porcelain Throne. It was another Constipation Conrad session. So I stayed up and got some tidying up done, then onto the computer. I soon drifted off to sleep after Chris had gone. But burst back into life at 02:20hrs, in need of the Porcelain Throne, despite  Doing her best to have me over. Stayed up and back on the computer… It’s a hard life, full of strife, no wife, mental confusion, physical ailments rife! Still, it might get better in the afterlife?

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Siriol!
Cheerio, in Welsh!

Inability Inchy: Monday 15th April 2024

/ Inchie / 5 Comments

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What a flipping night I had!

I’d forgotten to ask the late Carer Richard if I needed the diabetic sock taken off. I didn’t give it much thought until it came to getting into the new second-hand hospital bed. I struggled fumblingly to get in and settled. I got the over-bed table stocked with water, a torch, a mobile phone, and something else, I can’t recall what it was at the moment. I hung the picker-upperer and walking stick on the anti-fall bar and set myself in anticipation mode to get some sleep in. Ha!  Within five minutes or so, I was in bliss.

Ten minutes later, the Neuropathy Shocks came from the right leg. I’ve been getting shocks from both ankles regularly all week. They have been short and sharp, but at least I’ve nodded off soon after each one… But Not Tonight! Oh, no! Once they started this time, they went on relentlessly for half an hour, non-stop! It was terribly painful and wearying. I then realised it may have been caused by my leaving the diabetic socks on. A new pair as well, and decided to do my best to get them off and see how that goes. What a farce! Just getting out of bed increased the hurt I was already suffering. I got the torch on, it blinked, and the batteries died. Making my getting on my feet even more risky in the dark. No light switch anywhere near the bed.
The highlight of this operation, was once I got up standing, the shocks ceased! YES! I thought it wise to try and get the socks off ASAP.
I used the rubber end of the walking stick to try to pin the toe area of the hosiery to the floor and drag my right foot out of the sock. It didn’t work; I lifted the knee, and, Hey, it worked! when I lifted the foot up. Which left me with a problem, the right foot. Cause Cartilage Carole was the more painful one left to lift, but it had to be done. I eventually got the sock off… and immediately got a Peripheral Pete Leg Dance, and ended up crashing down on the c1966, £300 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibbling, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, my cheek hitting the chair arm. Breaking off another bit of tooth from my second-left bicuspid! Then I bounced off it, landing on the floor. All this in the darkness, for some reason I’d not turned on the room light yet. I hauled up my elephantine-stomached body into the recliner, and from there, it was easy to get up on my feet again.
During the tumble, I hadn’t realised that I’d also knocked the knife and fork off the tray on the ottoman at the side of the recliner. I soon realised this fact as I trod on them both! I may have said out aloud something like; Well, fancy that! I recall thinking to myself, well, at least I’ll have a sympathy-worthy scratch or bruise on my cheek. Hehehe! Later, when shaving, I couldn’t see a single scratch of bruise. Very disappointing that was. Humph!
I put on the slippers, and around 03:30 hrs, I decided to shave and shower. First, though, the use of the arose, but not urgently… I thought. I emptied out the Catheter night bag. Then took a snap of the morning view, put the kettle on and gathered the ablutioning equipment needed. And off to the wetroom to utilise the .
I forgot to put stinky on this photo, I used the lesser vindictive smelly. I was aching all over, and it worsened by the time I’d cleaned up the bowl and myself of the splashes released. Huh!
The red patches on the right ankle, where the shocks come from, seemed to be climbing up the leg. The swelling had probably been acquired during the tumble. The ankle also appears to be bloating up a little again. There’ll be a good reason for this. Mind you, I have no idea what it might be.
The shaving went well again. Only one tiny cut.
The showering was also a good session. Which I was enjoying and in no rush about it. Then the guilt… what am I doing taking a shower at this time in the morning? The poor neighbours! So I came out straight away and turned of the power box the moment all the water had drained away.
I made up two waste bins and realised that the one from yesterday was still in the hallway near the corner of the front door.
Raining a little now.
Holy Cow! Was it training, or not from the South? Yes, it was. And very windy with it. The tail of the Mini-Tornado?
During the day, I had Carer Richard first call and then Carer Selina did a domestic visit. She cleaned the oven for me. Carer Marie next.

Then, Carer Christopher did the evening medications. Peptac.
All bu got caught out again with the catheter day pouch suddenly filling up.
Well over the 500ml mark full this time.
The last of the heavy rain descended. Shots from the balcony, through the window glass, left one to the right.
The second one was taken to the left.
chimed out.
It was two chaps from the fire brigade who came to see me about how I was coping. They were concerned about me setting the fire alarms off and overflowing the taps in the sinks, I think. They seemed to think I should have extra help from the carers with cooking and bathing. I can barely afford to use them now!

Blogging, CorelDrawing and making the Ode.
Hello, the sun’s appeared!
Nice shades in the evening sky. I made a meal.
I took potatoes out of the crock pot, sliced them, and put them in the oven with some cheese sprinkled on them. I added a beef pasty, which I opened the pastry and added more cheese to! I sliced a tomato up and got it on the plate. I turned off the computer.
Kept checking the oven and finally laid out the plate above. Added some pickled ketchup. Delicious!

I didn’t.

Carer Tanya arrived and took off the diabetic socks. Chris has not returned the laundry, so we left the socks in an upturned box. Medications were taken, and a night bag was attached to the catheter.

I felt shattered, weary and tired. So when Tanya departed, I got settled in the Social Services provided, bless them, old hospital bed. With no socks on, the were much less often, and although a broken sleep, I soon dosed back off after each stinging. 
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BONUS ODE -Sorry about this!
Do you feel you are an exception?
Or a hoi polloi quotidian?
To assume whether or either,
Finding the realisation needs regression,
Certainly retro-cognition…
You may never find ratification…
I didn’t, despite my concentration,
And this morning… Tarnation!
I’ve got acute constipation.
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Fare Thee All Well!

Inabstinent Inchy: Sunday 14th April 2024

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I’m not very well today. I started fair enough, but the news about the little girl put me on a low. 
Say no more.

Not good at all!

Oddly, some liquid splashed into the water, but it was not blood. Then the tank would not refill… well it did, but it took an hour over it.

Carer Helen arrived. Med’s sorted, then, she got the socks on for me. All done.

Blogging, but half-heartedly. Feeling a bit low, what with the snippet.

Carer Helen arrived. Picked up the least of the DVDs. Took nibbles and a drink.

Blogging.

Carer Joanne. No, it was Carer Kimberly, well, I’m not sure, meds, drinkie & nibbles.

Blogging.

Carer Alison arrived. Medications, nibbles, treats.

Blogging.

I must have had a mind blank or seizure. How has it already gone 16:00hrs?

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Kitchen view.

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Another later view, two houses being done-up now. The grass is looking fresh.

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May Your Desires Come To Fruition!

Inactivated Inchy: Thursday 11th April 2024

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INCHY TO BUY APARTMENT Ha, Ha, Ha, As if!
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A little lighter colour this morning.
Morning sky shot
And… a ground shot!

Balcony doors.

Later on, a kitchen view.

End car park.

Kitchenette.

Midday gloom. It did brighten a bit later.

Nearly caught me out again!

I took this Kodak Tim shot.
Then tiredness & weariness dawned.
The plan was to get some sleep in before the teatime caller came and then get back on the blog.
This plan did not come to fruition!
I struggled to get stripped and clambered into the bed. In particular,  gave forth pains, complaining as I got in and settled into the new second-hand bed. I struggled further, getting into a pain-free position for sleep.
Eventually, I was satisfied that I’d got it as good as I was going to and cleaned up the mess I’d made around the bed, got the overbed table in position with the flat torch, the mobile phone and a bottle of water on it, and climbed painfully into a raise prone position which I thought was okay. It wasn’t!
I just got myself deeper into a mess again. Not being able to see or understand the controller did not help much. Within two minutes of my laying down in the snug bed, I’m afraid that
kicked off. Annoyed and frustrated, I got out, made the bed and put the overbed table up on it. With was angry at all the leg lifting needed.
I was now verging on sinking into the mammoth depression as I got back into the c1968 itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. But at least I found , at long last. I had turned on the TV, and the 16:00hrs News was starting, but I soon drifted off into a wonderful oblivion. Heavenly sleep! But it didn’t last long. Five minutes later, turned up, full of the joys of spring. Hahaha! He issued the medications, and I was in the chair for the entire visit, mumbling about needing sleep! Hehehe! He didn’t hang out and left me wishing I could get some sleep!
Which I did within minutes of Chris departing, a deep, wonderful, dream-filled at times, but not bad ones. I slept for an hour at least… then, you’ve probably guessed, started off! They didn’t last for very long. But they put an end to any more silly hopes and dreams of getting to sleep… at least until for two hours or so when I managed to nod off back to kip in the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner. For five minutes, and the return of made his last call. The lad took off the diabetic socks and issued the medications by torchlight. Bless him. I told him to take some nibbles and a cold drink from the fridge. Oh, and a can of Corona beer. I think I nodded away as soon as he’d departed. And stayed in the good-dream-filled slumber for about 3 hours, 
I woke, unsure of where I was, when it was, and my tormented mind full of self-lambasting, guilt, shame and embarrassment-filled memory recollections from . Worran ‘orrible night!

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Go Forth & Enjoy!

Acne Ridden Inchy: Tuesday 9th April 2024

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ARRGH! I woke, coughed a little, and edged toward the side of the bed to get my legs down… By Gum, it was painful! Both , and , the second one, in particular, did not like being moved at all. I suppose an Arrgh! Would describe it at the time. When the legs were lowered, and I tackled, standing on them, Arrgh! Seems far too timid an expression to use. 
I had to riskily sit down again to get at the , for removing it. Took a poor snap of it here. 
Even darker this morning.
I went to the kitchen to check if I’d left any of the taps running, the cooker on, or the fridge or freezer doors open. Everything looked good, so I took the above photo from the kitchenette window. 
Then I got the dressing gown, socks, and shirts from the laundry bag that Carer Christopher returned last night and that I’d forgot to sort out. Made a mess of the snap of the T-shirt Sister Jane bought for me… “Grumpy Little Elf”, indeed! Hahaha!
I topped up the carer’s and nurses’ nibble boxes on the carer’s table.
Then, I got the waste bags into one. The knees were not getting much better. I’ll be glad to get to the doctor’s appointment to have them checked over. The very thought of the injections working and hopes of some pain relief instead appeals to me.
Off to the wet room, Porcelain Throne duties and ablutions to do.
Constipation Conrad was back in control. At least the pain from the ginormous concrete torpedo that eventually slowly emerged, and I was doing rather well on the crossword, too, took the pain of the knees away for a few minutes. Until I had to stand up to clean up!
The teeth cleaning brought bleeding. The shaving did not! Fantastic! A bit of a downer, though. I struggled to get the clean PPs on after washing and took a semi-tumble. Luckily, I tumbled towards the corner, which saved me from buzzing for help getting back up again. With the state of my knees today, there would be no way I get back up on my own. Naturally, the drooping day bag pulled like heck on Little Inchies, and I had to clean up and medicate. It could have been much worse. I got the dressing gown on and wobbled to the computer to put the photographs on WordPress, which was ready to use. I thought I’d better cause when the nosh arrives later, I’ll have less to do and maybe save some time. I found this photo on the card? A classic cock-up, I’m thinking?  
The Asda order arrived, and it was a big one. Carrying the bags through to the kitchen upset the Cartilage girls. Hehe!
The top-up for the treat drinks was left in the doorway. They were the most hurtful to carry.
Daffodils are to be given to the
wardens and handed to whoever. I topped up the drinkies shelves in the front room with the new cans delivered.
Flavoured Cider, Carlsberg, and Corona are amongst them.
A lot of long-life foods go into the cupboards. Some packets of instant mash. Fresh spuds, brown Baguettes, and tiny pots of sour lemon jellies.
♥ arrived as I’d just got back on the computer. She put my diabetic socks on for me. Medications were handed over. She was hurrying this morning, but we managed the odd natter.
A fine rain descended, and the whole place became so cold. I was glad Marie had fitted my socks.
Brrr!

For an hour or two, I was out of it. Nothing was done on the computer or anything at all during that period. Had it been a , I’d still have been working on the blog and found some done, but it wasn’t. 

I arrived a minute after clearing the fog of what must have happened. She sorted the medications. She listened to me as I told her of the Doctor’s and Clinic Appointments needing a lift.
She was busy, too, and said she’d look at things tomorrow for me. ♥ I was surprised at how light stayed tonight. To those unaffected by FND, or , they would have naturally expected it, considering the time of year… but not me! Although I did remember later on, while I was sitting on the . Why the Hell did I tell you that?

I sorted out some food. I have to admit, it’s not an exciting-looking vegetarian meal. Also, as you can see, I burnt the Mediterranean vegetables, and the sausages looked undercooked rather sadly at first. But I pressed on with eating. I couldn’t believe how good it tasted! The sausages were pretty tasty, and the flavour of the vegetables was supremely tasty! However, the look of it, bruised banana, and dry bread let it down a smidgeon.

I thought it was an epaulette!

I got the pots washed and settled to watch some TV. I drifted off the second the adverts came on and woke up feeling terrible. I was sneezing, coughing, and in a mini-mind fog. Yet now, in the morning, the memory of it is clear. Carer Christopher arrived to take off my diabetic socks and give me medications… and, of course, to have his supper. Hehehe!

It took me over three hours to get back to sleep. I know this for sure because as I was tossing and turning. (I wasn’t, but it gives the sentence a richness, don’t you think?) I caught the remote control, and the TV came on. It Frit me! The new TV with its large screen suddenly flashed at me… I thought I might have snuffed it, and this was Hell welcoming me! 
I saw time on the screen and turned it off.

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Cheers!

Inchy Inadmissibly: Sunday 7th April

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Or even find just one?
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Up and about at 05:50hrs:

Once again, the wee-wee in the was not good a good colour.

I can’t say why I took two of the photos, but apparently I did so.

COMMENCED

First, a heavy-duty visit to the Throne was called for, so I sat on the Throne. It soon became apparent that was in full charge of this morning’s evacuation operation. I waited for what was obviously going to be a ginormous release to begin.
I counted the cracks in the ceiling: 22. Is it funny how the total is different every time I count them?
I could feel the solid torpedo as it crept agonisingly slowly and ever more painfully towards daylight. I got the crossword book and pencil from the floor cabinet and tried the puzzle. Blimey, I was doing well with it. 
Then the concrete torpedo started to come properly, still very slowly, making me winch at first. 
But at least it got out, more than yesterday’s two failed attempts. As the pain subsided, I was so glad it was not messy and needed a marathon cleaning job. I had to flush the thingy a few times, but it went down eventually, and I set about shaving.
There were a few more nicks and cuts this time, but nothing bothersome. I realised I’d forgotten to call the dentist to get a toothpaste prescription, so I used an old-looking tube of paste that had not been thrown out. I don’t think that was a good idea. Eurgh! Leaving the wet room, it dawned on me how well I did with the crosswording and how clear-headed I felt compared to usual.
As I went to get the kettle on for my brew of tasty  Glengettie tea, I took this snap of the morning clouds in view from the kitchen.
I felt appreciative of how with it, I felt. I decided to add at the end of yesterday’s blog my decision to cut back on the time it is taking me now. I can’t see, and the shakes are getting worse, which has always been expected. I had no problem finding the words needed and made far fewer mistakes than usual while doing it. In fact, a was engaged. Of course, I knew it would not last long, so I hastily got the computer on to write about my decision. Of course, now I have to prevent myself from looking a twit by actually cutting back on the thing I love doing! The thing that is keeping me going. This may not work, you know. I did tremendously well with my concentration. For the first time in ages, I felt I was achieving something on my own; that was my idea… of course, we’ll have to see how it goes.
I’d got near the end and was about to read through it, and the Carer came in. I think I had him call last weekend. His name was Aliga. Nice chap. He remembered to remind me to take the Vit B12, the lad remembered from last week! I forgot to ask him to put the diabetic socks on, though. Due to our waffling throwing me out of kilt. I realised after he was gone that this essential interruption had killed my bit of unexpected clarity of mind and semi-mental alertness.
or . I imagine that after the lad had gone, I must have had a mind-blank or seizure because I had no idea what I was doing until chimed out four hours later. As far as I can tell, nothing had been done on the blog at all in those four hours? 
It was arriving. I was back in the land of confusion. Those few early hours were so pleasant, clear, and translucently appreciated. Will I ever get another one like it? I pray so.
Kimberley was like fresh air when she arrived. She noticed that I was not wearing the diabetic socks; bless her, and she got them fitted first thing for me. ♥  
. Medications were given, and we had a little natter. 
As she departed, I sat for a moment to try and identify the differences in my mind compared to earlier on. The worries, fretting, and depression in my state had all returned; they had never left in years, yet they did this morning. I’d like to solve the problem of finding out why I was so… well it must be happy and contented for those first few hours today. All a part of the “Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind?”, I suppose.

As I sat there, I felt the need to return to the Porcelain Throne. Thinking there would be no rush, I didn’t exactly respond immediately. That was a mistake, and I should have been aware of it with my changing evacuation state. I did not make it to the WC tub in time!
I’d already been lifted by the early morning clarity of mind moments. Then lowered with disappointment when the worrying and fretting returned. Now, the embarrassment and shame joined in. Not to mention the washing and cleaning up needed afterwards. A 100% turn-around in my evacuations within an hour or so between the two visits. Life can be such a bugger, can’t it, when one gets older.
This cloud shot on the right is possibly my best-of-the-month pareidoliaising photo. I took it through the kitchen window and had to stretch a bit to get it. Hence the external wall was caught in the shot on the left, which gave more of an impression of an angry cloud face in sky. Furrowed highbrows, eyes, and a magical nose. I thought it was great. Carer Aliyas has been, and he took a photo of the day bag on my leg for me.

Time to get some nosh. Vegetable soup will do me.

I spotted the short, sharp shower spots shimmering steadily down the window pane. I took a Kodak Tim snap of the raindrops falling down the windows. Then the rain stopped!
Another selection of late shots, that are without doubt an absolute  Pareidolians Delight.

I see several partially distorted faces, including one that is ‘Scream-like’. I also see a spaceship, a ghost, caves and caverns, and the moon’s surface area. Great! Oh, and I’ve just noticed a Scottie dog’s face, too! Middle photo.

I put the potato chunks in the oven. They baked up well, nice and crispy, just as I like them. This added a crunch to the soup.
The soup. with its added can of garden peas.

Then, the bowl again, this time with the chunky baked potatoes added to the mixture. The gravy was made, and a splash of Worcester Sauce was also in there.

Well, I soon got that one scoffed away—too quickly, maybe, as then he started his imitation of imminent regurgitation & pains. 
  I went to get the washing up done and found, to my amazement, that I’d left the  It’s completely cold water now! That’s three times this week I’ve left the hot tap running. As Tim Price advised, I’m going to ask the Council if I can be allowed to buy auto-turn off taps and have them fitted. The bank manager might not like it.
arrived, medicated me and took off my socks. I turned off the TV, and sorted getting into the bed. Not easy as things were laid out, so I moved some things a little to make more room for the Carers to get about. And more space for me to haul my legs up on the bed. Messy, but it had to be done. Moved the over be table in close, with a bottle of water, the torch and the mobile on it. Next, I toyed with the remote control for the bed movements. Not the easiest of things to read in the torchlight. But I had to turn the lights of and use the torch to get into it. I managed to get the top end lower, but now I have the end bit raised up wonder my knees. I’ll see how that goes.

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TTFNski

Insecure Inchy: Sat 6 Apr 24, I made a decision!

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Dark again.

Refilled the carer’s & nurses’ nibble boxes.

My knees are bad this morning.

Motionless.

Carer Christopher called. The little scallywag.

First view with Kodak Tim.
The clouds are still different today.

Whoops!

Off to the wet room to empty the catheter pouch out, and tried again on the Throne...
Oh, dear!

Blogging was a slow job; I’m going to have to give up.
Carer Joanne turned up earlier than usual. Always nice to see her. A little laugh available is good!

The Mystery Chest Pains are back now. Suppose it might be something to do with the reluctance of the bowels to produce anything? 

The clouds are even more beautiful now.

I’m blogging away, but now I’m bothered with the card reader reading the cards. I’m fed up! It takes about four tries to read the cards every time I use it. Not good! Gloom and doom!
Later I took another shot of the kitchen sky view.

Going to get something to eat now.
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Still too dark.

The shrunken in the wash new dressing gown was washed twice, and now the pockets are hanging off, and the belt loops are loose, ready to drop off.

Any idiot could work this one out…
But I couldn’t!

Sorry about this…
But, my physical and mental conditions are making things too time-consuming for me to cope with writing a full blog. I’ve been on the computer often for 18 hours on the trot. Stopping for nurses, deliveries, and/or Caregivers calling. Getting back to what and where I was is so confusing. Thus, taking me even more time to catch up and work rings out. I so loved doing them as well. 
I’ve decided to try to do the top part, including Cartoons, Odes, Snippets, etc. Medical appointments, and will add any photographs taken if I have time and the computer lets me. Maybe a description of any Whoopsiedangleplops, if any. (IF? Hahaha!)
I’ve had to make this decision, and making decisions is one of my later-in-life problems. The mind and memory blanks and now the non-epileptic seizures are getting a little more frequent, so much that often don’t mention them as anything worthy of going in the blog. They are diurnal.
My concentration seems to have retrograded this morning; hence, this is written while things are clearer in my head. (How long for? Who Knows.) 

They soon returned. The vacillating, wavering, indecision, hesitancy, uncertainty, hemming and hawing, shilly-shallying, dilly-dallying, concentration-distracting, fretting, worrying, fussing, panicking, and stressing are rife, too often for me now. 
disconcertions, embarrassments, self-loathings, misperceptions, tizzies, misunderstandings, apprehensiveness, topsy-turviness, vagueness, and an invaded brain full of a salmagundi of unwanted moods and modes, including, at times, the odd hallucination, fantasy, and stubborn delusion.
Common sense rarely makes an appearance. But it 
did this morning, making this decision!
I still await the appointment to see a Dementia psychologist. Glaucoma, cataracts and knee operations. But it is the brain that needs help more, I think. I can’t find anyone with the same symptoms to talk with. I believe FND is part of the cause.

After talking to the lady at the audio clinic and finding out that she had FND, I found I had every symptom she mentioned worrying about. The effects are so weird that she said she believes no one believes her – ditto! But it’s not easy to understand or diagnose, let alone treat it. I agree with her about her frustrations. My Doctor gives me the same feelings. It must be hard for anyone to take in.

Glad I got this on record while my head is clearer now. I can get back to being me when my mind abandons me again and wanders off. 

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TTFN, Keep Safe Each ♥