The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Improvs Inchy: Thu 13 June 2024 Red Eye, Red Armpits and Electric Shocks!

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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My mental deficiencies, although bothersome at times, generally took a back seat to actual confusion amidst the physical shortcomings throughout today.
Care Kara rang the Doctor for me about the red patches beneath both armpits. I’ll mention the follow-up farcicalness now, so I don’t forget later. Kara took a photo of my red pits and then rang the Doctor for me. Bless her; she was in a rush as well. Thanks, gal. The Doctor said she’d call me back later after it had been assessed which medication may help.
An hour or so later, the surgery lady called me back, asking if I could email them a photo. I said Carer Kara had taken one earlier, and I’d try to get through to them to ask.
I called the carer’s office and got a voice message that I was not sure about. I gave up and called the ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden and Primo Ballerina, Deana, who came up to clarify. It seems I was stuttering as I spoke, although I didn’t realise it then.
Deana arrived and saved the day after she rang the surgery and clarified things. Then she sent a photograph she took off to the surgery. They would ring me back again.
An hour or so later, they rang me. The Doctor sent a prescription for the same cream they used last year when the red pits showed up. The prescriptions could be collected from the chemist in the morning. Tell your caregivers. I mentioned it to Carer Chris later, but how or when they will manage to fetch the prescriptions is unknown.
Then, ankle electric shocks increased in frequency.
The Glaucoma affected eyes got worse as the day went on.
The Iceland delivery arrived. I stubbed my toe and walked into the door frame five minutes later.
And Cartilage Chloe gave way a few times, but without causing me to have any tumbles.
I did not even start this blog, although I did make some graphics ready. I was weary & tired earlier than ever.
I have no snippets; I just didn’t have time to.
I fell asleep in the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner.
Carer Chris made a late call. He took the diabetic socks off my feet and attached the nocturnal night catheter bag. Christopher took nibbles and a drinkie at my insistence, and off he went. When I mentioned the prescription to him, he said he thought Carer Richard may be returning to work. That’s good news; I thought the lad would be off work longer.
So, here is a minimum detail set of photos today. I fank you!

Morning Medicals…
Catheter day pouch and leg bag
Ankle Ulcer with electric shocks. Hehe!
Messier than messy! This photo was taken of the Germolened pit by ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden and Primo Ballerina, Deana.

Carers & nursed nibbles mostly.
Inchy’s best-loved bikkies are below.
Yum! Dunk! Flavour!

Seasonings for the mushrooms!

Can you see it?

The third farmer’s arm fooled me!
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ARRIVEDERCI!

Inepticated Inchy: Wednesday 12th June 2024 – Accifauxpa!

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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I’m even further behind with the blog this morning. Today was busy, which naturally sunk my plans, intentions, and concentration into non-existence.
Hence, I’m so far behind with everything. The seizures were fewer today, but some lasted for so long.
No help with the finances, but Carer Jenny helped with domestics. Mopped the kitchen and wet room floors for me. Hoovered around, not under anything, but the gal was running out of time. Thanks a lot to Jenny.
On with the dairy…

I woke at around 05:00 hrs after a terrible, broken, dream-filled, ever-waking-up night I’d sooner forget about. I struggled out of bed. It’s surprising how some mornings are so much more challenging than others. I soon discovered the reason for this morning’s bother. It was down to two things; , and agony coming from  . The swelling behind the patella and back of the leg hurt the moment I moved the leg. Trying to get my balance, a normal routine, was not assisted by my right ankles and PN shocks kicking off.
I emptied the pouch, made up a bag of all the bin bags, and left it near the front door.
The innards grumbled, rumbled, and ground all at the same time. Just as I passed the wet room. Nice and convenient that was. This session was almost identically as messy as yesterday’s, but boy, did it funk more! Yes, it did! I did my teggies and washed, medicationalisationing various bodily parts in need. I had to put some cream on my underarms; they were red and so painful when I moved. But I could not remember which cream to use. Over the last few days, I tried the acne cream, but it made them worse. Then the barrier cream, that made things even worserer! This morning, I tried putting Germolene on the underarms. I’ll ask a Carer in the morning to ring the Doctor for me, and ask for some more suitable cream to use.
I removed the catheter bag to take this shot of the swollen,
and kneecap. Should Saint Peter send me back to earth at the gates, I’ll ask if I can become a Doctor this time, a Neurologist and Psychiatrist. Just in case I need to self-treat myself in the next life. Cause nobody is interested in this life. In fact, I’m even losing interest now. Hahaha! I think I’ve used the wrong photo above?
I took this terrible picture from the kitchen window as I made a mug of Glengettie tea. The urologist only allows two cups a day, but over the last three days, I’ve only had one! I just seemed to go off of it. But the pangs returned today, and I think I had four mugs of tea. To assuage my guilt, I used  Lacto-free milk. Most of the tea went cold, as I kept making mistakes and errors on the blogging!

Back to the flipping again. A bit of a mess again.
arrived a little late, he said the timings had changed again. No one told me other than Shaq. Medications, diabetic socks put on, and we had a little natter.
I started making an Iceland order and got carried away. They had some offers on full cases of Lucozade and Coke. After making the full order, I ordered some, but I realised that I’d spent £88. I put the full order on screen, only to find that almost everything was unavailable! The £88 was now…
Nine items were unavailable! I thought about this later on. I suppose with it being full cases, they may have been available only at the shops, not on deliveries? I made up the minimum order and sent it off. I forgot about the potatoes I’d thrown away that had gone off, so I amended the order, adding a bag.

arrived to do the medications and some domestic work. Jenny was her usual jolly self. She mopped the kitchen and wetroom floor at my behest. And had a quick hoover around the place for me. No financial help this week.

The subsequent catheter day pouch emptying went differently.
Bubbles and bits of what I assume were my prostate floated in the urine. A decent colour, all the same! A couple Kodak Tim’s blotches there.

Afternoon and late afternoon photographs of the view from the balcony window here.
Nothing spectacular, but I found them fascinating. I still can’t understand why, but I do.

came in. Medications were given, and I took his Health checks, blood pressure, temperature, and pulse rate. He had a very high diastolic of 92, which worried me a smidge. I’ve had higher, but that is to be expected with my problems. After the lad had gone, I analysed the results on the NHS site. It came back as Hyper One Low. So, it was not as bad as I’d expected. His SYS was lower, which balanced it a little, I think.

I pressed with making a pig’s-earhole of the blogging.
Over the next two hours, I kept nipping out to record the beauty of the evening skies.
I still can’t get used to it being so light now that we’ve changed the season to summer.
The last one brought to mind a Zeppelin. Loved the C-shaped bottom cloud.

Then, it had to come; I’d not had one for two days…
I noticed the mess underneath the Carer’s table and stretched with the picker-upperer to retrieve a tablet and bits of silver foil on the carpet… THUD! Down I went on my knees! Cut my lip (as I thought, it turned out to be a bleeding tooth) on my way down. The pure agony from both knee cartilages was bad enough… then I felt the urine valve leaking on my leg! I’d caught the tap and opened it! So, that at least stopped the leak, but the more painful, risky and time-consuming mission was to get back up on my feet again!
& were the most significant handicap. The pain even had me wincing! After repeated failures to get up using the recliner and , I was on the verge of pressing that alarm wristlet. But I knew what would happen if I did. The operator would ring for an ambulance. They did this on the last two occasions I’ve tumbled. The first one, a bad one, I lay on my back. The lady rang for an ambulance and kept checking on me. Not that I could hear her, flat on my back, with the microphone facing upwards on the cabinet. As with every call, all I needed was for her to ring the Carers and ask for help getting me back on my feet or in a chair. 4 hours later, the ambulance had not arrived, and I somehow got through the agony, from sheer desperation really, cause the Catheter bag was chocker-block, and I feared it would burst.  
Anyway, I got up then after 4½hrs, and she cancelled the ambulance. I didn’t think I would get myself up, and I was on the point of pressing the button. From somewhere, my grit and determination flourished. I managed to go through the pain barrier and into the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy & dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping, recliner. I had to sit there for a while to recover from my efforts and the pain. I found the  . Well, leaking. Both kneecaps and Cartilages calmed down pain-wise amazingly quickly. The toe nail on my right foot took the lead as the primary pain player!
The tablets, tinfoil and empty tablet boxes are still underneath the Carer’s table. And there they will stay!
Pain? Agony? Embarrassment? Yes! But I am a heroic pain-bearer, brave, and not in the least bit concerned over such a trifling , I treat them with mere frivolity flippancy and see the amusing funniness they can cause. 
. Possibly.

I turned off the computer and gingerly hobbled along with my walking stick to the kitchenette to make a meal.

I was in the kitchen for a long time, prepping the vegetables and trying not to cut myself. Haha! While preparing the food, I stopped several times to record the changing evening views. Each one was delightful to me.

I do love the clouds. But why?

Here’s the nosh.

A vegan meatless pastie.
Yellow and red peppers, courgettes, beetroot, sweet potato, red onions, sugar snap peas, and cubed white potatoes were all sprayed with olive oil and cooked in the oven. I added the pasties later, so they were cooked simultaneously.
A small pot of clementines in orange jelly followed.
Bootilicious!
The last picture was taken when I was busy washing up. The red area under both armpits began to sting again.
I am lucky, you know!

This was an easy one; even with Cataract and Glaucoma problems, I found them within 10 seconds.

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Hasta La Vista!

Impute Inchy: Monday 10th June 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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My body and, more importantly, my mind are in a different state today. I thought my cerebrum was not my own, which, of course, it isn’t nowadays. There have been so many lows with intermittent unaccountable high moments. I’m baffled!  
A bit worried as well. Although I knew this would develop, I was warned by the doctors years ago.
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Still a bit dark.

Carer Maryham arrived while I struggled to get the fresh PPs and helped me with them. Then, Maryham creamed and ointmented certain areas. I could not have a shower too early cause of the noise and neighbours. Bless her!

A few spots of showery rain, but no more.

Bootiful clouds,

The first day pouch emptying was much better,

I know I was working on the blog, but not much else.
Hours passed, I think Carer Sam called, and then the next one was Carer Chris. I mentioned that I had not taken many photographs today for the blog.
He took Kodak Tim onto the balcony and started taking skyshots for me. Apparently, I was shaking a bit.
Jolly decent of him.

He even took a shot of me after. When he’d done the clouds for me. Seeing the ageing, pot-bellied man in the above photo, I was shocked to see how I’d so quickly gone so decrepit. I’d love to know what I was thinking with my ponderous look?

When Chris departed, I emptied the day urine pouch again.
Oh, a very much better-looking colour this time! There’s hope yet for the Urologist. Hehe!

A shot from the right side of the balcony later, after the sun had forced its way through and the clouds thinned down. I saw many things in this shot.

I got the nosh made and put it on a tray, and Carer Christopher arrived. He took my socks off, medicated me, and attached the nocturnal catheter pouch for me. He selected his drinkie and nibbles, and off he trotted. I tucked into the now cold meal.

Two-thirds of the way through, I realised I had not taken a snap of it, so I did. Cold chips, cold pork knuckle, tomatoes, red onions, and a pot of Lemon Mousse. I dropped it, and it split open, making another mess to be sorted out for me. Tsk!

I went to wash the pots and took shots of the evening sky with the quarter moon showing in the centre of the photograph. Marvellous colours. I tried several times to get as close in a shot as Kodak Tim would let me. I must have taken four shots; this was the best I could manage. Humph! The blotches and stretched moon might mean this is Tate Gallery-worthy? On the other hand…

I stripped and nearly tripped over the night pouch’s long tube. It was another struggle to get settled into the bed. With the nurses adjusting the heights and dips so she might get better access to plunge the catheter tube back into Little Inchie, the bed is now in such an uncomfortable layout/position. After playing with the controls for ages, I decided it was not working for me.
I got out of bed, , swore and cursed a little, and hobbled to the second-hand, c1968, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner, and settled back in it.
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 Have a nice day, and take care!

Impatient Inchy: Sunday 9th June 2024 – Gloom!

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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I’m sorry, but it’s another quickie blog. I’m afraid I got the depression glooms in the afternoon. I feel sorry for myself, and the Cartilage injury makes any movement painful. I think I may have to go to the hospital in the morning if there is no improvement. It’s a miserable day for a miserable Inchy! Grumpy, self-hating, and lonely curmudgeon. Hehe!

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Scary colour. Mind you, with the tumble, expected.

Late morning shots.

Feeling moppy. Got on with the blogging.

Med-morning urine – definitely blood in there!

Forced Missen to tidy the bed.

Took three snaps from the balcony Ahead, down and right.

The sun was covered for a while.

Put this old graphic on for some reason, or maybe it was no reason. Can’t think why.

Oh, dearie me. I felt the wet, warm sensation emanating from the Little Inchies area. The fungal lesion was bleeding now,
Took me ages to clean the lesion and stop the flow.
Then, the depression started.

I made a CorelDraw graphic using part of one I made last month. Was I trying to get a laugh, maybe?
I could do with getting one.

I missed the star, Humph!

Got some rostis & last of the fresh vegetables in the oven.
Turned off the computer. Feeling sorry for myself again.

I got an email from Lisa-Ellie. Such an angel she is. That made me feel guiltier at how I felt. ♥♥♥ All she copes with, I wonder what her star sign is?

I did make a little in preparing this one.
I forgot that the beef was in black beans, and I also cooked some vegetarian sausages. Ah, well, I ate it all up!
Yummylishious!

I got the things washed up and snuggled into the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, ageing, whiffy, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige-coloured, anti-sleep I designed,  c1966, second-hand bought, for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. I tried to stay awake so that I’d hear the door chime when the carer arrived to take my socks, attach the nocturnal bag to the day catheter bag, and slip me some painkillers. 

Apart from the odd few minutes of nodding, I stayed awake. I even turned the TV on, so the light from it helped me not to nod off. It was getting harder to resist temptations, so I rose from the £300 second-hand shop-purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner and into the kitchenette, taking this shot.
But all was in vain! The Caregiver did not turn up, the same as last week. I must remember to check the bill when it comes in. But these things happen, as they did last week as well. He/she may have taken ill or had an accident.

Took me belatedly into his grasp!

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Arrivederci!

Incapsulated Inchy: Skanky Saturday 8th June 2024

/ Inchie / 12 Comments

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I woke, surprised at how light it was, and gave consideration to the vague idea of getting up, mused for a moment… decided I was still too tired and swiftly nodded off again,
I have no idea when I first woke up, but this second one was distinctively individual. I was rudely awoken as my body was falling out of the bed! 
Then the ‘thud’ as my knees hit the floor and the pain from the nocturnal pouch tube pulled at Little Inchie. I hauled myself back up to find that Cartilage in Chloe’s left knee had swollen immediately. But I was concerned about knowing how the heck that happened. How? What was I doing, having a dream? Had Peripheral Neuropathy Pete had a leg dance? Or had Shaking Shaun been involved?
When I started to hobble about to take the nocturnal pouch to be emptied, Lost-Balance-Barbara nearly had me over and painfully gave way frequently. The urine colour was bloodied, but that was no surprise with the morning’s -tumble.
I was still juggling things to get a less painful seating position on the WC when the almost liquidised evacuation started flowing. Even that hurt, but it was short-lived. I can’t say the same about cleaning things up after the torrent from . I decided to get the ablutions & medicationings done.
I hadn’t realised how late it was that I’d risen from the pleasure of peaceful sleep. I was having problems shaving the back of my neck again, as sounded from the door chime, and in came Carer Christopher. Knocked on the wet room door, asking if I was alright. He came in and shaved just the back of my neck for me as I began relating the morning’s farcical beginning to him. He wasn’t pleased with my wobbling and imbalance, the swollen leg or the colour of the urine, but I explained I thought they were all probably due to the tumble. Because I was about to shave and shower, I could not have the new pouch bag or the diabetic socks on. Chris said he would not give me the medications yet and would give me an hour or so to get the showering done, then he would return to do the medicating, socks, and catheter pouch fitting. That was kind of him; off he went, and I returned to the wet room to finish off the shaving. A few tiny nicks, but only tiny ones. Then, the showering… Although the procedure was painful with the swelling and when I got around to the rear-end  cleaning, Boy, was it painful? Yes, it was. Hehehe! But with my pain tolerance level being so high, I wasn’t bothered about the knees, haemorrhoids, catheter tube pulling on Little Inchie, or the toe I’d just stubbed in the slightest.
I was coughing and sneezing by the time I’d finished the medicating and ablutions.
I made the waste bags into one and took them to the front door.

Carer Benjamin gChristopher returned. He got my socks on for me because he realised it must have been nippy without any on. I issued the medications and then put a washed catheter pouch cover on it for me. 
On his way out, he took the laundry down for me, taking his choice of drinkies and Lamb Patti from the fridge.

I spent hours and hours on the blog update, all the time sensing the gurgling and rumblings from the innards.
I took a diarrhoea capsule in hopes of avoiding another of the infamous evacuations again.

It cost me, losing half a day. 
When I came back to semi-reality, I knew a Carer had been. A  , and I checked on the Carers log. Joanne had been, and Christopher too. Someone came on the third call because the washing had been returned. I usually have a natter and laugh with Joanne, I can’t recall either of these episodes. Vague is the word.

I checked the camera’s SD card. I’d have expected to remember taking these two beautiful shots. But I’m afraid I can’t. I think I took them from the kitchenette window.
Wonderful peace-emitting clouds out there.
I felt the pangs of hunger, so I investigated what to eat.
I emptied the day pouch from Cathy’s Catheter and was pleased to see it was a little lighter. I did not mean the pouch; I meant the urine that was emptying. Not a bit mixed here!
Potato Rostis and a lamb cutlet were sprayed with oil and put into the oven. When they were out of the oven, I dabbed some Germolene on the hand I burned while doing so, and then the food was plated.
I added some tomatoes and some sugar snap peas.
A few rounds of Milk Roll bread and got stuck into it. This I do remember!
The lamb was fatty—too much so for me—but the rest of the plate was fine and tasty!

I took this shot of the night sky from the kitchen window as the sun was setting.

And went to turn off the computer in the junk/bed/living room. Haha!

I found them, but not in 12 seconds. It was the wave one that had me fooled for so long. No surprise, a lot of things got and got me confused: Women, Pucking Putin, computers, Football Referees’ Decisions, Oligarchs, , ,  , , , , , and perhaps the most confusing is the decisions arrived at by theParole Boards to free convicted killers to murder again!
They instil in me a hatred comparable to my loathing for Putin!
I’m so glad I got that out of the way!

Cheerio, Folks!

Incarcerated Inchy: Friday 7th June 2024

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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A smidge dark.

A morning view

with blotches.

I was going to try the new Tena pants… But I realised I had some of the bulky Morrison ones to use up.
So, I adorned them instead.

The first day-pouch emptying was a mammoth event.
Over 400ml. But a better colour.

Front car park view.

I was undecided on what to make for tonight’s meal. Nothing unusual about that!
I prepped some vegetables, which are ready to go in the oven later. I’ve added carrots, swede, red onions, potatoes, and leeks, and I will add some tomatoes later. Then, I looked at what I could add to it in the meat department. I’d got some veggie sausages and a Cornish Pasty. Undecided, I thought I’d make my mind up again later on. It was far too early to get the veg done, so I covered the round oven dish and food in foil and put it in the fridge so it kept fresher.

While catching up on the blogging, the mouse stopped working, and the keyboard went on strike, too! It took me hours of trial and error to get it right again. I checked the batteries and senders for the mouse and keyboard. Then, I had to press the Reset option in Windows. I had already lost a lot of work because I couldn’t save any. Frustrations came forth, quickly perused with a gigantic depression. Is this the end for the computer? Did I do something silly without realising it? Grrr! The reset started, and everything was still letting me do nothing. I was now terrified. I did not want to be in! I could not save the other work I’d done either, and I turned everything off as the MS option buttons were not accessible!
In despair, I meandered onto the balcony to calm myself down.
I took these Kodak Tim shots, one straight ahead and the other to the right. As you can see, I caught the balcony. Hang on, I got this wrong. These were taken from the kitchenette window; the one on the left was from the kitchen window.
I get confused easily nowadays, you know. Hehe!
I returned to the computer… and , everything was working again? I was Ogleboggled! But pleased!

The clouds were thickening, but still no rain.
I was so weary and irked I  turned off the computer, but not without a bit of prayer that it would come back on in the morning. I added some sugar snap peas to the oven dish and got it cooking in the oven.
I added some vegan cookies to the JS order earlier.
I photographed the beautiful blotchy sky shot of the sun going down.
Carer Chris came, and he got the medications sorted. Again, later, for the last call, he took off my socks for me and put on the night pouch.
He was in a hurry; it was time for home to go home now. I started the computer up to see if things would work again. The mouse took too long to activate, but at least it did this time. In thanks, I slipped him a Jerk Patti, and he selected a drink to take.

I pottered about cleaning up the mess I made while I was doing the meal. Then I took this ‘blotch-hiding’ picture of the early morning view from the kitchenette.

My eyes are perfect, but why has the red kettle been ringed? It looks the same to me.
Ah! I can see it now; the handle has moved!
Well, I got two of them in nine seconds. Hehehe!

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Cheers, and Have a Good Day!

Incel Inchy: Thursday 6th June 2024

/ Inchie / 3 Comments

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A speeded-up minimum diary this time.
So late updating from here onwards, on Friday morning.
I hope to tell you about it tomorrow. Well, it’s tomorrow already. I’m confusing myself again!

Not a good colour.

Blue hue to the morning sky.

Four waste gags into one.

Sorted out the nibbles stock & reloaded the Carer table pots.

Carer Chris arrived while I was doing my ablutions. He pointed out that the neck shaving I thought I’d just finished doing was not shaved. Thanks to Peripheral Neuropathy, Pete, I cannot always have a sense of feel when touching things;  as today, I couldn’t feel the stubbles of neck hair that I’d missed. So he got the razor and saw them off for me. Thanks, Chris!

I carried on with CorelDrawing for the top articles: The Ode, Snippets, Horoscopes, and other graphics. But it was taking me so long that time ran out. Humph!

Amazon Delivery.
Nappies… I mean, Protection Pants
Nappies stored below the drinkie-treats.
Expensive Diabetic socks. But it is worth paying the extra for these Diabetic Snob Socks. Work a treat, comfortable too!

Pareidolianiable and Bootiful.

A ready-made black bean and beef meal microwaved.
A whole-meal baguette soaks up the liquid. Before cooking, it is added to the dish with chestnuts, red and green peppers, and a jar of black bean sauce. Slurp! Much of it ended up on my billing stomach and Protection Pants. Haha!

I made an order with J Sainsbury’s for next week. I hope that they have some Lemon Tartlets and Maryland Vegan cookies in stock this time. 

Another pareidolianiable and bootiful view of the evening skies. I hope you can see what I do in this one.

I see only three circles?

TTFNski

Incide Inchy: Wednesday 5th June 2024

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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Due to circumstances beyond my control. (But not the control of , or the  .) It is now late morning tomorrow, and this is where I’m only just starting to update yesterday’s (this) blog. A minor-altercation on Thursday morning also increased the delay in making a start. As if I wasn’t far enough behind in the first place, now I’m already behind with Thursday’s blog-start.
Oh, I do go on, don’t I? Hehehe!
So this be a rush job.
This morning, a massive amount of dark urine in the nocturnal pouch emptied out.

Waste bags sorted out.

The food delivery arrived.
The chap put all the stuff into the kitchen for me. The driver took them through to the kitchen for me. Then the job of sorting and putting away began…
Got the fresh stuff in the fridge.
Quite a lot of it…
The vegetables were used to make a beef & black bean meal. Butt his was kyboshed by the chunk of beef I ordered being substituted with Polish Wyeska thin slices of pork!
I’m glad I ordered two ready-made meals of it now.
But sad my culinary skills could not be tested.
A few cans for the nurse’s and carers’ treats arrived. And I set to filling the nibbles shelves.
I’m spoiling them, rotten. Hehe!

It took me about six hours to complete the top part of this blog—no, it took me nearer eight hours.
Carer Kara came and was a great help with the financial mess I’d gotten myself into. But the British Gas Meter confusions still go on… and on. Carer Israel made the last two calls.

I did keep taking photos of the changing weather throughout, mostly when I got caught up in the blog mistakes!

First shot, was of the wonderful clouds and sky.

In the late afternoon, the clouds were still interesting to look at. Drizzling began falling, but not a lot.

Some cracking blotched Pareidolianist Delight photos were taken from the kitchen window.

This is the view when I went to get the cheesy potatoes from the oven. The flesh was mixed into the bowl with Leicester Red Cheddar, sea salt, and no-butter butter.
I took this snap after I’d taken the flash from the spuds and started to mash them up in the bowl.

I went back to the computer and did a bit more on the top intro graphics. Then, I went back to check the spuds in the oven.

A very annoying thing happened then. I took a snap of the prepared meal and looked at it on the Kodak Tim screen. I was pleased with it. When I got around to getting the pictures on the computer in the morning… the meal was not on the card! Yet moments after taking the shot of the meal, I took this relatively decent shot of the sky. 

The blotches blended in with the clouds.
The card was in the camera when I took the picture of the meal. So, what the heck could I have done wrong to lose it?

I watch the TV after eating a gorgeous meal.

Carer Israel took the diabetic socks off and medicated me.

TTFN.

Inkle Inchy: Tuesday 4th June 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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Possibly, just perhaps, well, at least in the last week, this morning was the oddest one yet. For a variety of reasons, which I will no doubt get mixed up and out of order. But I’ll do my bestest to explain.
04:20hrs: First, I woke up with an unexplainable… well, Zest!
I found the nocturnal pouch of urine to be a lighter colour than of late. An urge for a mug of Glengettie came next, and off to the kitchen, I poddled to get the kettle on. Then, I took a snap with Kodak-Tim of the morning view and realised it was only 05:00 hrs. I decided to have an early wash and shave, being as I was feeling almost chirpy. (I knew it couldn’t last, so I made the best of it.)
Then I noticed that the kettle was not working. I toyed with the connections and plug for a while, but it did no good. It wouldn’t have it! But on top of the cupboard was a kettle I bought about a year ago. The problem was, how do I get it down from there? I ended up using the long picker-upperer carefully, but I got it done safely enough. However, the base plate was still up there and at the back near the wall. My desire for the tea drove me on. 
After a little thought, I fetched the 3-step ladder from the junk room. I could only manage two steps, thanks to , in particular, the back of the knee emitting severe pains. But my determination to get a brew of Glengettie was strong! 
I managed to reach the plate using the small picker-upperer. Finding that it and the kettle needed a good cleaning up before using it. 
This is when the stubbing of the toe took place.
Undaunted, I got the dust of and out of everything and the kettle on the boil. 
Moments after taking a photo of the Jenny donated china mug on the left, is when I knocked it off of the counter with the dressing gown sleeve. I caught hold of the mug as it bounced off of my overly abundant belly. Thus, spilling some tea on the gown, me and the floor!
My previously rare morning zest was flattening down now, and the idea of making another mug of tea did not appeal to me. I felt a brooding coming on.
I got all the waste bags sorted and placed them near the door.
Then I decided a darn good wash and shave was called for. So, I took off my dressing gown and wobbled along to the wet room. The wobbling was caused by the catheter fitted yesterday, which has a thick, massive, long tube. The release valve tap was so low down it rested on my foot! It was not easy to reach down to empty it, which was my first task as I got inside the wet room. 
The favourite was again in full control of the evacuation. Cleaning up was a heck of a job, and it was difficult with the long catheter on and using the walking stick.
Still, I freshened things up and cleaned my teeth. The bleeding soon stopped. There was a funny incident that I realised about much later when I got around to uploading the photos. I dropped Kodak-Tim from the dressing gown pocket later, and while making sure nothing had broken, I took the selfie above, catching the image in that shaving mirror, Hahaha!
The shaving ended with a cut count of only two; oddly, one was on the ear lobe? Beats me too! 
I get the body scrubbed up; it takes longer nowadays. What with the monumental girth I’ve acquired since I’ve become flat-bound, bending down is so difficult and painful. The Cartilage Girls & don’t help. I suppose on the bright side, if I ever tumble forward, I’ll have a chance of bouncing back up. Hehehe!
Then, I decided to mop the kitchen. I used the Flash speed mop for the job—a mistake that was!
It appeared to look okay afterwards until I walked into the place. The soles of the slippers stuck to the tiles, and I could hear and almost feel them squelching as I walked on the floor. 
Now, my mood was almost reversed to what it was earlier. I noticed many bits of something very small still stuck on the floor, and a Carer mopped it last week. So, I had to get the mop and bucket brought into action. Gathering several leg bruises on the way from the walking stick as I mopped one-handed, then found somewhere to lean again, to bend painfully down to hand wring the mophead. I even got Kodak-Tim out a few times to record my progress. Now, I was worried about my sanity. But I was pretty happy with this second proper mopping job done. 
As I went to clean and store the mop and bucket, I realised that I’d not done the morning medicationings for many regions of my story, plump, wobbly body. So I did.
I put on the Acne cream. Then, I applied barrier cream around the fungal lesion and barrier creamed the tops of the inner legs and the ever-growing stomach fold. Then, I Germoloided Harold’s Hemorrhoids. I put on a fresh dressing gown, made a fresh mix of spring water, put the old dressing gown in the laundry bag, and noticed the clock. It was 08:55 hrs. 
I’d been so concentrated on and frustrated with the Whoopsies, cleaning, and farcical morning that I wondered if the Carer had been and if I’d forgotten about it. I checked the Carer’s log, and there was nothing on it for this morning. At least I didn’t have to worry about that.

Later, Carer Sam arrived. She listened to my tale of the morning’s woe; bless her. Finally, I made a belated start on finishing off yesterday’s blog. I was calming down nicely.

, sod-it! The Google and Firefox thingies went down at the same time on me!
I could do nothing for an hour.
I tried all the usual stuff, but the mouse was working, not the keyboard.
I kept getting messages coming up that meant nothing to me. I was near to dismay.
Then I got Norton Messages telling me a series of numbers were safe; no action was needed! Was Google healing itself?
I gave up and turned off the whole shebang.
I was sitting feeling sorry for myself when the intercom sounded. It was the delivery of Medical stuff from Vyne. Boy, did it take some sorting out?
Yes, it did. I had many things on my mind and worried about the computer, too.
I didn’t know what all the things were for, but indeed, they must be connected with, for, or part of the dreaded and disliked
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They look awfully complicated to me. But, then again, so do women, Putin, arithmetic, Judges, the Conservative Party, and Doreen Dementia.
Ah, I recognised the painkiller jet thingies that the nurses shoot down Little Inchie when they have to put new tubes into him. Oh, they are good! Haha!

When I returned, I turned on the computer with my fingers crossed. Well, I never did. Google was working again. I was nearly too stressed and tired to appreciate it at first, but a semi-imitation joy crept through my brain all the same.

Carer Christopher arrived. I gave him a cold drink and a bar of chocolate. I chatted away, but he missed most of what I was saying as his fingers belted away on his mobile phone. Hehehe!

I pressed on with starting this blog. It is now past 21:00 hrs. What a day! Where did it go? I’ll read this and find out later.

A caregiver is due on the last day, anytime now. So, I think I’ll put the vegan slices in the oven. Well, I’ll put the stove on, and it’s ready to heat up.

I finally had the meal of the day and enjoyed it, although the incident with prepping the potatoes slightly tempered my enjoyment.


I’d got the instant mash into the bowl with some sea salt, basil and a large knob of No Butter, Butter. Then, I added a packet of grated Leicester Cheese to the mix. I added some freshly boiled water and was about to set it to give it all a good mixing. Then I noticed some mould on the bits of cheese! 
I’d discarded the good-dated packet and kept the just-out-of-date packet of cheese! Luckily, the unopened packet was retrieved from the waste bin after I chucked the bowl contents into a bin and re-cleaned the bowl.  I had to start the potato prepping all over again. Which meant the veg pasties were tastier. I thought the cheesy mashed potatoes were Pareidolianiable. Can you see the chick or rabbit on them? No? It must be me, then. Hahaha!

At last, a photo to be proud of was taken. The blotches were all hidden in the dark night clouds. Is it like the surface of the moon with a volcano erupting? I may ask the Tate Art Gallery if they’d take this one. If not, I can always display house bricks on a wooden palette, 2024 style. I could spill blood on them, break them up for them. I could call it Putin’s Pallette, perhaps? Haha!

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TTFN

Invacuated Inchy: Sunday 2nd June 2024

/ Inchie / 3 Comments

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BREAKING NEWS

I’ve driven endless times along Snake Pass, and I was nervous and careful every time, especially when I was delivering in the Derbyshire area when it snowed. Someone comments on this Snippet, saying a cyclist ignored a red light?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –What a lonely day, today. Well, it wasn’t really. But none of the regular Carers called. So our little jokes, insults and swipes at each other could not be activated. I missed them! Hehe!
The computer was playing up, resulting in me not getting so many photographs due to the time I spent making corrections. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete was to blame. The right hand and arm had now joined in with the right leg suddenly dancing and Shirley’s Shaking Shoulder, which often made me so frustrated, angry, and annoyed. I would verbally curse, with such words as “Flip it!” “Bother!” and “Oh, Heck! 

I emptied the nocturnal catheter pouch into the jug. To get a more accurate assessment of the colour to record on the log
I gave it a four, I think.
Off to the wet room in response to the rumbling innards. I thought Constipation Conrad would be in charge. But no. ruled again.
Minutes after coming out into the hallway, I had to dive back in and on the Porcelain Throne.
An even more giant dollop of liquid waste shot out this time. With such force, not many areas of the wet room or I didn’t need cleaning up this time.
I returned to the medicine drawer and took two of Morrison’s Anti-Splatter capsules.
I suppose it might have been caused by last night’s vegetable and beef dish, which I enjoyed so much. It contained a lot of vegetables, gravy thickener, and even a splash of liquid smoke.
Took a break from the irritating error creating on the computer, to make a brew of Glengettie tea. Took this blotch-ridden photo of the late morning view.
Back for my third and final… up to now, visit to the . 
Much less evacuated this time. And came out with a few discernable lumps in the almost liquid mass.
Back to CorelDrawing. It hasn’t crashed, but I’ve hit the wrong colour or function tab so often that it’s taken me longer than ever to create three find-the-difference graphics.  
It’s galling bothersome!
What a fantastic set of small clouds Kodak Tim could take from the kitchen window. Contrails, blotches, and tiny puffs of cloud seemed alive as they were being blown about so easily. Great!
I got the mug from the very effective tea-stain removal I use. Baking soda, bleach, a drop of washing-up liquid, and hot water are poured into the mug. It comes clean within a minute of soaking. It’s just a rare moment to get something right, you know. Hehe!
I thought I’d have one of the Carer & nurses nibbles. I found this Snickers bar cooling in the fridge for the next one to call. Guiltily, I tried to eat it with my mug of tea. The teeth bled,
My lips bled, and I promised never to eat chocolates from the fridge again!
Took these two cloud shots as the sun came down.
Then, I sorted out the fodder. I put the vegetable pie in the oven and prepped the instant potatoes to be made after it was cooked. I’m in an Egon Ronay mood, or maybe it is a Gordon Ramsey one? This might turn out a good one again… Mmm!
It is close to the time for the last Carer call. The last one said the belated prescriptions ought to be arriving soon. He told me that two medications were run out. I leave it to them nowadays.
I got it served up, and it was delightful. It’s been a good meal for two nights on the trot now.
It was a hell of a job to wash up afterwards. The bowl with the cheese and potato in it was a battle to get cleaned. Well, the cutlery was as well. But I enjoyed it so much. Also, the Carer was a little later than usual, so I ate it in undisturbed peace. I got down to watch the 21:00-hour Lethal Weapon 2. When the adverts came on, I nodded off, waking several times and missing a few minutes of the action. The last time I woke up was to see the screen credits rolling. Humph! No Care called. So, I’ll have to have a stand-up wash and shave in the morning. I cannot get the diabetic socks on or off without help.

I hope the catheter equipment arrives soon. The day pouch should have been removed and replaced on Thursday, I think it was. But we agreed not to bother, as the District Nurse was coming to change the whole she-bob on Friday. But they couldn’t find any of the Catheter set-ups to put on. Said she’d return the next day with a kit from the base. But she didn’t. Then I got an email from Vyne saying they had received my order and requested a prescription from my doctor, who would let me know when it was dispatched. So it may be well into the week before it does arrive. I hope the medications arrive soon. I’ve no idea which ones I’m currently missing. Not that any blame is attached. Some staff are on holiday, others are off poorly, and replacements are not offah with the system or needs. It reminds me of my time as Security Controller. Late arrivals, clients calling, alarms to be responded to, Patrol Officer instead of three, Police messages, Clients ringing in, and no staff left to call and beg to come in on their day off. I know the feeling!

Zzz!

TTFNski