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I fear for most of the day today, I was here, but my mind was far away. I started that-many plans, jobs and needs, but maybe got 10% of them done.
In fact, I lost the plots more often than I retained them. I went way off-track. Let things slip, failed to remember to do things, to think anything out. I lost consciousness in a way and awareness of activities and plots planned and needed. But, do you know, I fretted and got hot under the collar far less than usual!
Right up until around 20:00hrs, and all the worries, fears, shame, self-hatred returned. It was like mental torture, and the Thought-Storms kicked off and stayed with me.
I was aware of the problems all the same, but just didn’t care? If I could buy a drug to put me back into that mode, I would. It was like a new lease on life. I suppose/imagine that Dementia Doreen played a hand in this, but for once, I didn’t mind.
A shame it came to an end, but unfortunately, it’s left me with memory blanks over the last eleven hours. I wonder if Cannabis might help me get that wonderful part-day relief from worry back?
Hey-Ho! This is the best I can give you…
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A terrible night, almost sleepless, yet again. 04:00hrs: Decided to give up on sleeping and get the ablutions done early. No shower, too noisy that early for disturbing the neighbours.
On the 2nd Catheter bag emptying, I was happy to see was Rating 2:Â Great!
The right ankle ulcer had somehow been hidden from view this morning when I took these shots of it?
But the fatty tissue on the feet and ankle made walking and hobbling a smidgen dodgy all through the day.
But, Although I came close a few times… I avoided any tumbles.
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Pareidoliaing here with this shot. I see lips and or a mouth in there around the ankle bone? Hehe!
Went into the kitchenette to get the kettle on for a brew of Punjana Signature Blend tea.
The moon and sky looked blue to my eyes, so ~I took a snap of it.
Mede the mug of tea as I went to get the milk from the fridge (Well, that’s where I keep it – Hehe!) I saw how the moon and sky colours had changed in about five minutes?
I tried to get a good shot of it with the craters showing, but couldn’t get it right this morning. I think I took four photos of it, and this one is the best of the selection; on one, I actually caught only half of the moon. That is due to 
, and my nerve-end dying 
. They also caught me out when I was stirring the tea in the mug. Innit gobsmacking how maybe 2fl oz of liquid that spilt form the cup manages to spread itself on your dressing gown, hate counter, and the floor, and miraculously a few drops get into your right slipper? Cleaning that up was no fun.
Ailments 
, 
& 
were all activated by the time I’d got the mess cleaned up and replaced the dressing gown.
Got the Health Check belatedly done from the notepad. Well, this week is a vast improvement on last week’s returns! On the level tab, the L=Low, M= Medium and H= High for each scale.
Just look at the urine colour chart levels. Looking so good at the moment. (Just, mayhap I shouldn’t have said that?)
duties. Not good at all, in several ways:
â‘ : The time lost waiting for the fully-in-control of 
. I tried to do the crossword while waiting for the action that had come part-way and was stuck rigidly to restart. But 
, 
and 
were making it very difficult to read the clues. So I counted the cracks and cobwebs on the wet room ceiling instead. Cracks 32, Webs 2.
â‘¡: I gave forth with a convoluted sort of… “Oooohargh… ach, (grinding what few teeth I have left) Ohohoho… Phew!” As the motion finally passed!
â‘¢: Then the task of cleaning things up. The water closet was not refilled again. So, I had to fetch water from the kitchen. Not an easy task with a walking stick and carrying basins of water, but I got it done in the end.
â‘£: I managed the four trips balancing act, and I got the tank refilled. But, on leaving the room, 
I shoulder-charged the door frame edge again! This encouraged 
to join the other active ailments. I know I shouldn’t have, but I took an extra-strong over-the-counter Ibuprofen painkiller after I realised how bad the level of bother was that was giving me. At one stage, I checked to make sure that the shoulder bone hadn’t been detached from my elephantine, flobby-bodied torso. Hehehe!
Still a cloudless sky out there. It hardly looks like Nottingham usually does from the Detention Cells at Winwood Heights.Â
I’m in cell-block Woodthorpe Courts. It was a life sentence. You won’t be able to get your medications; The Wardens have told me that they will arrive the next day… on eleven occasions over the last three weeks. I did get part of them, with the usually failed promise that the rest will be delivered or fetched by the Carers tomorrow – again. Naturally, I’m still waiting for them. The NHS seem to be having difficulties getting any a 
. The water in the WC tank is not refilling, so I have to carry water to refill it from the kitchen every time I need to empty the catheter contents or use the . Many an , 
, and tumble. Also, my walking into doors and window-frames are all part & parcel of life in my beloved Woodthorpe Court Cell Block.
Still, it’s much better than them posting/moving me to an ‘Alcatraz’ (Care Home). After I had the stroke, the needed bed space at the hospital, and I@ was dispatched to such a home… and remember many of the events during my 3-month stay. If it wasn’t for Brother-in-Law Pete and Sister Janet fetching clothing from the flat for me, I’d have run out of clothes. So many did not return from the laundry; you would not believe it!
Fair enough, here in the Woodthorpe Cell Block, over the last six months, I’ve lost five bobble hats, four T-shirts, two towels, a dressing gown, pyjamas, and a jumper. But this is nothing compared to the Alcatraz. One week, I sent six items, and I never saw them again! I’m not a lucky person.
The wonderfully healthy-looking colour of the catheter bag’s contents continued to be, well, impressive! great!
I made an Asda order for next week. All went well, but of course, is their habit; there will be price increases and not available to add to the equation and situation.
During the day, Carers Sam, Josef, Jodie and Sam called on me.
In the PM, the sun got through. I took these shots facing the sun, and was pretty pleased with how they came out.
The weariness dawned on me, and my eyes were failing again. This is now a hemerine event. and will be, until I can get at least the cataract operation done and dusted.
That is if I live long enough or the shortages of medications do not see me off first. I can see the headlines now: ‘Old Fart in Nottingham killed by the NHS & Parmascist’ Haha!
This view of the late afternoon clouds was an absolute pareidolia’s delight!
And I found some animals in it, not saying what they were. That’s because, my looking at this now, I can no longer find them. I do feel a right fool! Which is understandable.
Waking up just in time to get these two
shots of the brilliant sunset as the sun fell
out of view over the horizon. ♥
The 
day bag emptying was again almost a perfect colour!.
again.
Carer woke me up. Sorted what med we had in stock. And, of course, no night bags to swap for the day bag on … one day, we may get some.
My estimate would be approximately September 2029. Or am I being over-optimistic in thinking I’ll live that long? Haha!
♬ Food Glorious Food ♬: Got in a bit of a pickle with having to work out the timing of the cooking of this feast. The oven, saucepan and microwave were all used in the preparation.
Sliced crispy roast spuds, boiled spuds, carrots, onions, and beetroot with gravy and soy mince.
I enjoyed this one. And the plain yoghourt with lemon curd added.
Flavour-Rating: 8/10.
But I was grossly disappointed in the lack of sleep again! No pains this time, just wave after wave of Thought Storms. Humph!
Go Forth with hopes of better times to come… Or, not like! Hahaha!
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or the 
The first, and only one up to now, 
. 
Gave up on sleeping, and I rose (precariously) at 045:00hrs.
was beginning another attack as I was sorting the waste bins out. Thought I’d left the tap running at first, but it was only the poor old eyes; more specifically, it was methinks 
was to blame.
Took this photo with the flash on as I went to make a brew Glengettie.
I opened the window and shud
Forgot the tea, left it on the counter and went onto the computer. Later I remembered I’d forgotten the tea, went to make another one, and took this shot of the car park below. 
Later, the sunshine tried t get through for me.
Not sure… no, I have no idea what the heck I took this shot for.
No chance of any rest at all, despite my terrible tiredness and the brain and body telling me to sleep
was launching the 
non-stop at me. 
Mind Blank for an hour or two after I got up to make a meal. Seems the ‘Meal’ was a vegan burger, cob, cheese curls & some beetroot
More forgotten photos: This shot of the sky on the right must have been taken in the afternoon… I shouldn’t wonder, perhaps, possibly, maybe… but that really is a guess with the darker clouds? Of course, I could it be a well-off estimate. (I’m good at this and getting things wrong – a bit of an expert?)
Also found this one. Judging by the sun going down, I must have taken this one from 18:30 to 20:30hrs. 
‘s abode. That being my Brain, of course.
Aha, these night pictures showing the moon from the kitchenette window triggered a flash of memory for me!
, mayhap 
I looked down at the camera hanging down from the cord around my neck and resting on my man breasts! 
The need for the 
.
Fair colour after the first pouch emptying..
Took the pad off of the geyser legs. Getting in a mess with it
Walked around taking photos after investigating why I’d been woken up.
Eerie.
Red sky morning shot.
Housing view.
Carer Kara watched as I put a new pad on.
Asda Order arrived. Daffodils for the Carers
The fridge filled up;
Fair colour after the third pouch emptying.
Afternoon sunshine.
Sun got through.
Base of the meal, ready-made.
Meal served up; With added oven bakes potato chunks.
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Thanks, Doreen!
First bag emptying. Not as dark as it looks. These day bags are in three compartments, with a shaded outer plastic.
. Only two (messy) trips up to now
Brrr!
This shot was a better one, got the colour as it was!
Getting dark earlier now.
And yet, the next emptying…
Much better? Not complaining like!
Oh, where did the time go?
Washed the pots, during which I felt liquid on my left lower leg?
I put a self-adhesive pad on them, check the
That was too red again. Tsk!
Yet another crap night of sleeping. I had to keep wiping the liquid away all through the night with kitchen towels. One of the lesions is still running now (at 09:40hrs Saturday). The eyes and nose are doing a good imitation of the lesions. This reminded me of a Dr Who episode. Hehe!
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Some blood in the 
, that’s because we still do not have any 
Not only the leg lesions but the eyes and nose were running???
Took two snaps of the depressing weather.
They seem to be getting smaller now but still spurting water.
I can still see the face on the leg.
The wee-wee had changed to a decent colour.
Concentration is gone, getting tired, and the eyes are getting dimmer, as is usual at this time of night.
The lesions are getting even smaller now.
A middling colour, not too bad.
I dined like a King… 
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The urine looks darker than it really was when I emptied the pouch.
No change in the ankles.
No chance of any cloud pareidoliaing this morning.
Jimminee, the colour of the wee this time was almost perfect.
The computer on! Made an order for Asda for next week
The urine is getting a move-on today.
Wonderful clouds this afternoon!
Went to check on the spuds in the slow cooker.
Not sure how I took this photo?
Matron arrived
Hahaha! The wee kept on coming!
Overcast as the rain stopped, I took this picture.
It’s gerrin’ a better colour as the night comes on! Great!
The potatoes were slow-cooked with sea salt & vinegar.
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A little misty.
City Hospital is in there somewhere.
When the petals fall in the fall, will they be messy at all?
I don’t think that’s the official name of them…
Then one of the new Kodak with the Fuji.
Smashing! 
Gorgeous!
Liquid smoke, sea salt & BBQ sauce.
called. Sorted the meds… well, not them we had run out of, naturally. No night bags to use. We had a little chin-wag.
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The urine was another bad colour.
Popped through the letterbox was a leaflet regarding Winwood Heights Social activities. Which was impossible to read due to the small print and, of course, 
& 
Strawberry treats for the gals. With some different drinks this time. Vanilla ice-cream-flavoured ones. I tried one later from the fridge – very nice!
The urine was running a much healthier colour!
Raining!
The rain has stopped, and as I went into the kitchenette, the sun found a gap in the clouds, offering me some pareidoliaing time.
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, who was winning the battle with 
never having been so bad.
Fancy that!
But it lightened later.
Morning view
But the blood pressure was horrendous! I did extra checks in the hope that it would come down, but… Nope! Wonder if this is due to the none attainment of, and running out of some medications?
Fingers crossed
Oh the bright side (I had to look very hard, Hehe!), the ankle ulcers were nice and calm. (Says Inchie as he gets grief from the catheter tube via Little Inchie and cleans the blood up changers protection pants,
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Sat watching TV with subtitles and devouring the pleasantly tasty meal I’d done for myself. Pretend meat (Very nice), beetroot, tomatoes, and potato cubes done in the oven after being sprayed with oil.
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This is for January 2003
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The morning view… was rather blue
I’d decided, as the Urine colour was so high on the chart.
were coming on again.
Made a brew of Glengettie.
Took these snaps of the strange lighting this morning.
What was the mouse? Has a map on it 
Fantastic wider shot!
A close-up of the sun.
Seem’s the sun is spewing out a monster…
A Genie, mayhap? Hehehe!
An eagle above?
It seems that the dark clouds are trying to extinguish the sun?
I burnt the same spot on the hand as I did last week, taking the tray of spuds out of the oven.
Nice meal!
Made too much again. (I often do that?)
Very bad today.