– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
OVERVIEW: Still flat-bound. No s nor any more of the 3 weeks overdue prescription medications received! Nothing was heard from the EENT Hospital about , or the operations possibly coming to fruition yet. Fancy that!

The first, and only one up to now, visit proffered an evacuation deposit that took ten minutes to push and coax out. Cost some blood and was painful, tearing some of the poor . Although the main issue was rock solid and clunked against the porcelain, it was followed by some messy, gooey, smelly mush! As I have often said: This daily agony, bleeding, frustrations, and many ailments, botherations, and failures do not bother me in the slightest. I only cried for two minutes!

Gave up on sleeping, and I rose (precariously) at 045:00hrs.
Emptied the day Catheter bag, rinsed, washed & disinfected the grey wee-wee bin.
was beginning another attack as I was sorting the waste bins out. Thought I’d left the tap running at first, but it was only the poor old eyes; more specifically, it was methinks was to blame.

On refilling in auto-mode, as is the catheter’s habit, the dark colour of the wee-wee was a disappointment this morning.
Trouble, as described above, on the first visit.

Took this photo with the flash on as I went to make a brew Glengettie.
It was pitch black outside; nothing at all like this photograph came out looking.
. The flash of the flash made me think it was the moon. Hehe!
I opened the window and shuddered with the cold breeze that met me face-on.
Now this is how the morning looked in reality (Not that I’m an expert in anything regarding reality; of course)

Forgot the tea, left it on the counter and went onto the computer. Later I remembered I’d forgotten the tea, went to make another one, and took this shot of the car park below.

Carer Shaquille did for me, and then Domestic Denise arrived. Then Carer Ator or Victor, then Carer Victor… yes, I’m confused too, called.
Each break, I got lost in where I was and what I was doing on the blog. Hehehe!

Later, the sunshine tried t get through for me.
Looking a little warmer out there now.

I was getting suddenly tired again, earlier than ever?

Not sure… no, I have no idea what the heck I took this shot for.
It was supposed to show the urine colouration, but somehow or other, I took my kneecap?
Mmm?

No good, got have a sit and rest, try to get some lost kip mayhap.

No chance of any rest at all, despite my terrible tiredness and the brain and body telling me to sleep. was launching the non-stop at me.
I genuinely feared for my sanity. So many worries, past and present, were zooming into my mind… none getting any solutions, ever-changing subjects. Me getting more and more agitated at my incapabilities to get things sorted… self-loathing and mixed in here and there, many a pathetic whimpering moment of self-pity. I spent hours stewing in my thoughts – so frustrated… Maybe the worst two hours of the week. Defeat and impotence & inadequacy to face and actually tackle any of the worries. No one to help me with this… mind you, is there anyone capable of helping me get the medications and the catheter night pouches delivered? Or to get me online so I can get into my banking details? Something has to change here. I’m struggling.

Mind Blank for an hour or two after I got up to make a meal. Seems the ‘Meal’ was a vegan burger, cob, cheese curls & some beetroot. Buggered, if I can recall eating it at all? But this photo found on the SD card found in the morning proves I must have.
More forgotten photos: This shot of the sky on the right must have been taken in the afternoon… I shouldn’t wonder, perhaps, possibly, maybe… but that really is a guess with the darker clouds? Of course, I could it be a well-off estimate. (I’m good at this and getting things wrong – a bit of an expert?)
Also found this one. Judging by the sun going down, I must have taken this one from 18:30 to 20:30hrs. Again, there is a slight possibility that I might be wrong about this as well. No memory of taking it remains to access,  in ‘s abode. That being my Brain, of course.
Aha, these night pictures showing the moon from the kitchenette window triggered a flash of memory for me!

Mystery Picture Again!

If I’m right, I’d had to get up to take a painkiller as I laid there in the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, & itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner and waiting fruitlessly for sleep to arrive. I decided to make a brew of Thompsons’ Punjana tea and spotted Mr Moon up there in the sky.
Yes, I recall it now; I remember being disappointed in my efforts. Laughing it off, I meandered hobblingly over to the sink and got the pots washed. Got them done, and could I find the camera? Nope!
My tired muddled mind mused of this. An in-depth search was started, drawers, cupboards, cabinets, fridge, cooker and oven, window ledge, the floor, and all corners/edges… Now panic was setting in. Had I somehow dropped it out of the window? Surely not; there is a strap on it. I always use that; I thread my skinny wrists through it or put it over my head.. BOING! In fact, , mayhap
I looked down at the camera hanging down from the cord around my neck and resting on my man breasts!

I was not happy with myself, and self recriminationalisationing commenced. The insults and language used were positively atrocious. As if I’d not had enough humiliation for one day (Again!). I returned the camera to its usual location. To be frank, I just wanted to take some sleeping pills and hide away in peace for a while with Sweet Morpheus. Is that too much to beg for?  But, no chance of that! Oh… No!
The need for the arrived. The timing narked me a smidge. Obviously, I was well-tensed-up to start with. And the need was becoming more urgent; I had no choice other than to hasten to the wet room…
Giving the door frame edge a shoulder charge that any Welsh rugby fan would have been proud of. This prompted along with shaking into action. They both kept at it all night long. Only to be joined for an hour or so by .

My battle to get to sleep was interrupted when sweet . needed to be emptied.
I found that my usually rather anaemic, cadaverous, or eidolic leg colour was transmogrifying into a deep red in the extremities?

Now, this could be my INR level being too high or low,
No blood test for over a month, so how will I know?
My ankles were swollen; this will sound bizarro…
Do you see the valve leaking? Colour of cappuccino.
Or maybe rather more like a Cinzano,
The valve opened AGAIN of its own accord…
I took this photograph to record the problemo…
I’ll take it with me to show St. Peter when I go,
There may be fisticuffs, though!

It cost me an hour to clean up the mess and myself again.
The moment I got back down in the £300, second-hand shop bought nine years ago, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner; Just what I needed, a return of the Thought Storming!

Gave-up the silly thoughts of sleeping around 04:00hrs and got the ablutionalisationing done. Humph!

.