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More out of it than with it today,
Ideas and plans just fall away daily,
Logic, eye-sight, and hearing fade away.
Dementia Doreen, the brains stowaway…
Is with me every second of every day!
Even when I have a brain scan or x-ray…
Even my hopes are in disarray…
Several times today… and this sounds eerie…
I’ve not been me, but looking at me!
Occasionally this happens, & seems like cajolery,
This scenario holds traces of insanity?
I question my own humanity…
Struggling with the catheter and my cecity,
Losing track, thoughts and memory…
Now the mind-medics say ‘encephalopathy’,
I’ll look that up when this blog has gone away,
Is that owt to do with my Peripheral Neuropathy?
Encephalopathy? It doesn’t mean a thing to me!
Hehehe!
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Sorry, got a lot on today – up to the neck in it,
without the ability to get the jobs done.
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First Wee-Colour Check.
2nd check. Not sure how I got the colour to look silver? Hehe!
The ankles were looking a lot betterer!
The urine colour also looks betterer!
Georges (Asda) delivered the dressing gowns.
The darned valve leaked again on the
Care Kara called, as did Carers… erm… Sam? and… Kara, Jo… maybe Josef… I’m guessing here… What a mess I’m in.
No idea now what happened for many hours. After Asda on the notepad, something about massage evacuation? A tumble? Lost memory, Mind blanks, and Bladder problems, leaking?
Not with it at all, here, mates.
Found the George throw on the Carers chair.
Late evening nosh.
Veg; potatoes, vegan cheese and butter,
Did some baked spuds to add.
Think I enjoyed it.
Maybe got my head down earlier than usual.
Woke up in as said above ‘Agony!’ with leg cramps! Trenches and dips in both legs, the right one far worse.
After ten-minutes or so they died down, and I realised that the pouch needed emptying…
Oh, Dearie me! 
I lost balance bending down to take the wire off of the valve – the wee splashed over the bucket… mostly on me!
Struggled to the recliner to get back upright, and first thing was to get to the wet room, to strip off and wash myself. During which, I dropped the bottle of disinfectant, and it landed…
On 
, on the exact spot where the nail had dug itself in! No doubt about it – I was pissed off…
I knocked a selection of the medications off of the floor cabinet… the last olive oil bottle shattered as it hit the floor! At least it missed my feet and toes! I suppose!
Back into the main room, and got disinfecting the carpet, threw my cloths in the laundry bag. I continued cursing as I got back down into the c1966, £300 pound, second-hand charity-shop bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner. But could I get back to sleep? No!
I lay there full of self pity. A pathetic site, it must have been.
I’ve not felt this low for… well, ever before.
TTFN
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First Pouch emptying…
Before the mist descended.
Food order. Some treats for the Carers.
One of the afternoon pouch emptying.
Nice parking today!
Mug of Glengettie, note-less notepad, and a nose bleed.
Blimus! This one filled up quickly.
Not a good colour.
again. The visit took me half an hour
Costly business nowadays. Last year the above cost me
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.
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was not too hopeful of finding my ‘taken-away-to-be-laundered clothing’. The chances, must be slim, but she did say she’d have another look around for me. 
Found my laundry.
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A bright morning with snow.
Bright-looking urine in the bag is good!
visits today.
Asda order arrived.
.
Put the rest of the fodder away.
Fridge before and after delivery.
Took some more view photos of the light snowfall. See
.
The footfall in the snowfall, in the bottom field.
Later, a man and his dog caught my attention.
The snow gave us another covering.
lost out to the new King
!
followed the evacuation.
Then, I walked into the door frame on my way out..
.
gave me a nudge,
.
I made the meal of the day…
I’d forgotten about the potatoes in the slow cooker. Not that 
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A smidge of bloody urine in the well-filled bag this morning.
Checked on the lack of food in the fridge. Hope the new bank card arrives soon… then I’ve got to get the details changed on all the sites… Oh, dear.
The good news was that they had sent some Apache potatoes, and bread, lots of bread. I had a job to get it all in the freezer.
I pondered on having a can of the minted pea soup with some potatoes this evening. Then realised it was afternoon already.
Got a few flakes in this one…
And this one…
And again…
Not sure about this wider snap…
The snow had stopped by the time I took this one.
Got some tomatoes seasoned to have some sausages with later.
No more snow, but looking glum.
Oh, not so clear again.
Vegan Sausages…
Added the links to the tomatoes. Which were
, 
and 
all getting worse, there is no chance of reading the subtitles! 
I got the picker-upperer but had to get down on my knees. Why?
around 04:40hrs!
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I rose, then went to empty the catheter’s wee-wee…
Cor Blimey, Flipping Heck and Fancy That!
Lovely blue hue to the morning view!
Aha, Lord Sainsbury’s delivery, you see…
Baked beans, Four bean soup, Gravy, mint sauce, mixed vegetables, chopped tomatoes with basil & oregano, porridge, and baking soda.
Fresh Kenyan garden peas, Cheese & onion pie.
Aha, the wee-wee looks better.
Bootiful clouds.
Down to the main foyer, had a nosey around…
A look at the notice board…
Then along into Winwood Court through the link passage.
Lost balance as I was pushing the three-wheeled walker through the apartment door. No tumble…
But did trap my hand in the door.
.
Another good emptying colour here.
An eerie side to this one.
Amazing!
The ultimate pareidolia one!!!
Oh, a break in the clouds!
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Aha, right leg for less swollen this morning.
Amazing change in the urine colour on the first emptying
Social event notification.
No sunset as such, but…
I captured these two close-ups.
A man shouted at the panel…
I opened the boxes and got the waste I had made to the bin in the foyer.
Got the oven on the top heat setting, opened the can, and deposited the ingredients into the thick saucepan.
It didn’t look particularly appetising to look at, but smelt rather delectable to me, anyway. 800grm of food, to which I added…
I settled into my crumbling rotting c1966. charity shop bought, the second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. With the intention of watching an episode of ‘Heartbeat’. Drifted off into sweet oblivion for about an hour. (Bliss!)
pressing the door chime to release the tune “Oh, Susana” blasting into my face from the box opposite my location, bringing me back to the scary reality of my tormenting,