Inchcock Today – Mon 16 Nov 20: Lamentably, ludicrousnesses lingered!

TFZers in the Gym ♥

Monday 16th November 2020

Hindi: सोमवार 16 नवंबर 2020


22:50hrs: I broke back into the real world, accompanied by DD (Duodenal Donald) and AG (Anne Gyner), both giving me as much hassle as they have ever done. (Bless ’em!) Swiftly being joined by the gut-aches, rumbling, grumbling and, I expect, preparing the path, brewing up for a Porcelain visit.

At least I was feeling a little more with-it, mentally, than yesterday. I knew that my beloved, beautiful, blood-vampire nurse, Hristina was due to call on me. She is always very busy nowadays, but her visiting, even if only for a few minutes, is better than any medicine.

As I extracted my ponderously-gross, wobbly-bellied body from the c1968 recliner, caught my balance, grabbed Metal Mickey, and moved my plum-shaped torso towards the amazingly little-used EOGPB (Essential-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket), the left wrist started to itch. As is usual, I gave it a good scratching. Hello, more blotches and papules coming up?

As I was about to pick up the bucket – the innards rumblings increased, and I took immediate action, and I made for the wet room. Getting to the Porcelain Throne, almost tearing the jammie-bottoms, and actually tearing the PPs, as I desperately got down just in time, and the evacuation started! It hurt, but it always does nowadays, but far less than yesterday. But messy it certainly was! Back to the khaki-coloured torpedo style, leaving bits floating that looked like overcooked brown kale. Minimal bleeding, though – but maximum cleaning up needed. However, I was glad I’d got that over with, I can tell yer!

All sorted, washed and medicated, and back to the front room, and I got on with the Health Checks. At this stage, I wondered what was going to go wrong this morning, after the last few days record of Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops! 

But, my determination to stop being a victim stopped me! The BP result for the SYS was 167, which was in line with the previous two ones. I put the figures into Google to see how they faired. I got this: “Normal pressure is 120/80 or lower. Your blood pressure is considered to be high (stage 1) if it reads 140/90. Stage 2 high blood pressure is 160/100 or higher. If you get a blood pressure reading of 180/110 or higher more than once, seek medical treatment right away.” I see!

I then took the body temperature on the new thermometer. The 36.6° c result is fair enough, I reckon.

I took the morning medications, remembering to take the Furosemide tablet and the Dioctyl® Capsule with the regular ones.

No tea this morning yet – It’s True! I had the spring water to take the tablets and took the odd guzzle from spring water, and cordial I made up.

The innards seemed to be settling, but Anne Gyna was rampantly stinging away, still.

I got Computer Katie on, and uploaded the photos and stored them in the appropriate files, and WordPress.

Then made a start on this blog as far as here, next I updated yesterdays post and got it sent off. I emailed the link. Pinterested some snaps. Caught up with the Facebooking, then went on the WordPress Reader section.

Then I got some breakfast. The last of the Batchelor’s noodles, but well altered and seasoned. Made and added some gravy, balsamic vinegar, and the last of the few Foul Beans. And my first jolly-strong brew of Glengettie tea, and carried out the morning dining, (not even 06:00hrs yet).

While I was making a start on creating some graphics, well, one of them anyway. I realised that it was time now to get the Ablutions sorted out, for Hristina, my sweet Vampire nurse is coming. I wanted to make sure that in case she comes earlier than expected, like last week, she can avoid the horrendousness of seeing my rhinoceros-like body when I went out of the shower, again!

A smidge too early for me to have a shower with the noise it makes (07:20hrs) I don’t want to disturb anyone if I can help it. So, I had a stand-up jobbie, but I do miss having a shower, even though the risk of falls, dizzies or knocks are always present and likely to occur, in differing degrees every time I use the shower, nowadays.

It’s just my heroic outlook, bravery, bubbling personality, and a chance to view my muscled but lithe, masculine young body, you now… Oh, alright, forget it! Hahaha!

Stand-Up Ablutionalisationing Activities Report

  • The teeth cleaning was one of the betterer events of the session. Just a few dropsies.
  • The shaving only produced three nicks, but eight dropsies! No injuries were worthy of note.
  • I did get somewhat over-enthusiastic in cleaning the rear end – much bleeding and stinging from Harolds Haemorrhoids! A struggle to stop the blood flow, but I got it stemmed, nit without some discomfort and mess, in the end.
  • I can’t believe how stupid I am, yer know! I only went at cleaned Little Inchies fungal lesion, with the same idiotic ardour, and this time the blood flowed for a worryingly long-time, well, bled.  
  • More of the Hydrocortisone (Steroid) Daktacort ointment was needed than ever before, to stop the tiniest of cracks (lesions) from bleeding!
  • However, on the brighter side, apart from looking like a carcass, the legs and feet were losing the new growths? The blister thing that came up very quickly yesterday had gone right down again? And the ulcer was even fainter?

Reading this about the ablutions as I checked, it and made countless corrections (of course!), it sounded worse than it was. Other than Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, maybe Harolds’s Haemorrhoids, it didn’t go too badly at all.

I got out of the wet room, leaving another clump of shoulder skin on the edge of the door-frame as I misjudged the width again, and said: “Oh, dear, ay-well it can’t be helped”. Well, maybe not those exact words… Humph!

I got some small waste bags made up, and as there was a chance that heart-fluttering Vampire Nurse Hristina might arrive soon, I put them in the box on the trolley to take to the chute later.

Then got on CorelDraw, determined to get some graphics done. Nicodemus, SSS and Shaking Shaun were all in a good mood with me! And by the time my sweet Angel arrived, I’d made two-day graphicalisations and a TFZer page header one!

Smug-Mode Adopted!

I heard and recognised the voice calling, it was Hristina, my pulchritudinous, precious, bewitching, blood-taking, loin-girding, ‘Cheer-Me-Upperer’, and phlebotomists vampire nurse ♥. Someone had let her in the foyer door, and here she was. Happiness may only come for a few minutes each week, but this was those few minutes! And I wallowed in them! But it felt like seconds later, she was off to serve someone else… My momentary burst of happy contentment degenerated, deteriorated, dwindled and a mild depression relaced them! Dangnableisations! 

I opted to try and cheer myself back up; and made a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea, and took some photographicalisation from the light & view-blocking kitchen window, that was obviously designed by a gerontophobia, or maybe person living with gerascophobia. I took a shot of below on Chestnut Drive; the car park looks well-full this lunchtime.

I turned my photographicalisationing attentions to the dank, yet still beautiful skies.

To the left, straight ahead and to the right. The layered cloud appearance was there still, but not so obvious with no sunshine to burst through.

I noticed, although somewhat late in the month, I admit, that my Nokia Ultra-mobile, with 512MB, £1,399 for 128GB storage, with its gargantuan, 6.9inch display screen, and the hole-punch camera, and ‘Space Zoom 100x ’mobile phone had not had the time changed yet. So I altered it. Ahem! But I took this photo and tried to get my head in the reflection for a laugh. Gawd, look at the pale death-like skin!

The bells rang out Dusty’s hit tune.

I got up and staggered to the door, to find that the Amazon automatic can-opener was on the floor outside the door. Aha, I thought, I can have tinned food without any problem now! Little did I know what farcicalisations lay ahead for me!

I got the parcel into the front room, and I was interested in trying to see how the thing worked, and if I could operate it with my disabilities.

These were claimed to be: Can Openers Electric, Hand Free Electric Can Opener, Restaurant Kitchen Can Opener, Ergonomic Design, Free of Manual Labour, for Senior Arthritis Home Gadget!

We’ll have a look and see then.

At least the instructions were readable. (Lies, but decipherable). I’d got the batteries in the machine, within an hour. I read and reread the instructions several times.

But would it work? No! No signs of life or activity.

Finding someone to help will be difficult, and I’m getting tired now after being up for over thirteen hours, so I’ll surrender, and give it a go again in the morning. I imagine it will be who’s all confused and is to blame. Hogwashville again?

I ferreted about and got a ring-pull opener can of Chilli-Con-Carni. No ring-pulls on the red beans, so I tried the new opener again, no luck.

Tried the old-new electric one, no luck either, dead as a do-do!

Desperate times call for desperate measures. So, I tried the new one again, but nothing happened, I think that the batteries should be good, I only bought them last month?

I was really in a frantic state now, so I hunted around and found the old tin hand-opener. It was a real struggle, it only part opened the can. So an old knife was utilised, to free the red kidney beans from captivity, but it cost me two little cuts on the jagged edges of the can. They were that tiny, I was surprised they bled at all.

Still, I pressed on and got them in the saucepan with some boiled potatoes and the chilli. Then I added some Squid and balsamic vinegar, and made some gravy (Well Oxo), and gave it all a good stir and agitationalisationing. Hehe! 

The landline burst into ringing and flashed. It was Sister Jane, that was nice! News that Pete was at the City Hospital having is radiation assessment, and they told him he was making OK – Music to the ears! We started to have a chinwag, but Jane had an incoming call from Pete came in and had to ring off. Or as HRM would say, Orf! Hahaha!

I got back to CorelDraw, still, I haven’t got the graphics done, it’s been a little busy today.

As I was listening to the comforting sound of someone banging about,  the door chimes rang out.

It was an Amazon delivery. I knew what it was, the Pimms and lemonade drinkies, I intend to slip to Jenny, Doris and Frank. Also to callers, delivery people, medical staff etc. as a thank you treat, towards Christmas.

The first photo I took of it, I missed most of the box, the balance went, but I was so conveniently placed at the time, it was easy to steer my falling body into the swivel chair, bit of luck there!

All okay in a couple of minutes. And I took a photo of the Pimm’s canned treats. I must look up what Pimms are, they have a 5.09% content, whatever that means,

I nipped through to the kitchen to check on the Chilli-con-Carne, but now I have to get the Pimms sorted, so I turned off the heat, just my luck!

However, the food looked good!

Oh, flipping heck, the door-chimes rang again! It was Josie this time, bringing her Sunday dinner things back. She said she enjoyed the potatoes, very nice and cheesy! I told her that’s good. I like to hear I can get something right. Hehe!

Put the things away and got back to CorelDraw, not that my concentration was any good. So tied and unfocussed again.

As promised, by the gastroenterologist, proctologist, the supply of the inside the underpants pads had been delivered.

All three of them! In a Tena sample bag. Considering that I use, on average, nine PPs a week, these are not going to last long are they. But at least they are trying to help me.

I was beyond doing any graphics and decided to get the meal reheated, and get some rest and possibly even sleep.

Hahaha! As if! It was another (albeit unexpected) belated Amazon delivery.

I got the box inside; the delivery driver had long gone by the time I got to the door, I’m getting, like I do every day now, weary, slow-moving and slow-witted, and can only think of food and Sweet Morpheus.

I’d forgotten all about the shoes I’d returned. These are the replacements and look like the right size this time, but we’ll find out later, I’m too tired to muck about with them now, the meal and recliner await my attentions.

That is if the phone and door chimes let me!

Off to get the fodder sorted out, back in the morning, or evening.

I had a bit of fun setting out the CCC meal, using the potato letters. Hahaha!

A flavour-rating of 7.8/10 given.

No sooner had I done the washing and got down in the c1968 recliner, and got the TV on to watch a Kitchen Nightmare, the minute-long nodding-offs began. I found getting off amd staying asleep difficult, but manages it… Zzzz!

Inchcock (In Briefly) – Friday 23rd October 2020: As a defeated-fantasist, I’m losing all hope of anything ever going right again, here!

TFZers Gather at the Cabin! ♥

Friday 23rd October 2020

Welsh: Dydd Gwener 23 Hydref 2020

02:35hrs: A rather abrupt diary today, folks. Medical issues have got be all behind, frustrated, irked and most irritable with life. But there you go!

 After a wee-wee, it was time to sort out the medicationalisticalisationing things to get the Health Checks, medications taken, and Enoxaparin injection is done.

I’d made a cock-up with counting the Sodium needles, so will need to talk to Warden Dean later, to see if she can ring the Doctors and Chemist for me. (to see if the prescriptions have gone out, and the chemist can deliver them for me)

Just getting the injections done, there were two this morning 2x40ml, was a mammoth job. I tried different ways to avoid any accidents in the event of Nicodemus, Shuddering Shoulder-Shirley, or Peripheral Pete’s right leg dancing kicked-off, while I was injecting. I’m sure I had an idea to try something last night, but it’s gone now. Tsk! It all went fine, though. I reckon that yesterday’s pain was cause I was doing it to straight and going in too far. Lesson learnt! The old Boot’s BP sphygmomanometer machine worked perfectly. But the results were far from good. Tsk!

I like the new thermometer. I set it about four-inched from the forehead, and the reading was okay, but yet again I forgot to get the camera ready and had to do it again when it turned of rather quickly and caught me out. A lot of things do that! Hehe!

I got the Nikon camera to take a photograph of the morning view from the finger-trapping, light and view-blocking, rain letting in, deadly for old folks to get at to clean, new kitchen windows.

Got on the computer and had an awful lot of photos to sort out first before I could use them. And between SSS and Nicodemus, along with the worst ever service from Fries Liberty-Global internet crap service, without going down, mind, it took me hours to get the job done.

I was getting all het-up, bothered and angry!

The time was flying by, and it was time for the Ablutions to be done. Everything was taking ages to get done, corrected, and one again. And no calls to the Throne either!

I got the Ablutions tended to, a painful, frustrating task, that left me with a stubbed toe, three shaving cuts, a multitude of dropsies done, and banging myself against the shower chair afterwards, meant Little Inchies fungal lesion started to bleed! Grrr! But at least the ankle ulcer looked such a lot betterer.

The medicating was messy and painful, and I then had to get dressed so I could go out to speak with Warden Deana and got a second stubbed toe as I lost my balance getting the shoes on. Greggleckle! 

I got the waste bags made up and into the trolley, and a coat and hat on, out to the waste-chute, then down on the lift to the caretaker bins. No one around at all to natter to, or even give a good-morning to. I dropped the recycling bag off, and put the empty jars in the Green Glass bin, and walked to the Wardens holding-cell office.

Deana was out working, so I explained the worries over the medications and prescriptions to Julie. It took a while, and the day was shooting by me. I left and took these photos from the foyer in Winwood Court as I got out, then started a hobble back top Woodthorpe Court; but I didn’t get far. I remembered that I’d not left the WC signs, asking people not to put anything down them, other than TP. (The signs were delivered damaged yesterday afternoon by the Post Office, eight days late!)

So, I went back to Winwood Court. And Deana was back from her visits. Lost more time explaining again, and DEan kindly rang the Doctors for me and confirmed the prescriptions had been sent electronically to Carrington Pharmacy. She rang them, but there was no answer. Shell try again later, and let me know the outcome, Bless her. As in the pictures, I didn’t see a soul all the way back home. I was getting more uptight as the day went on.

When I finally got back in the flat, I still hadn’t got yesterdays blog done or sent off. But got the meal going first. I was so far behind now; I got the pictures taken while outside, done first on CorelDraw and put the in the WordPress gallery ready for later.

I took the medications and was about to make a start on finishing the Thursday post. When xyrophobia suffering, over-amour-propred Brother-in-law Pete, who, when searching the flat while I was in the hospital with the Stroke, and taking my valuables, he took a rest. Fatal! He could not resist the electric and played with them. Now the recliner no longer works, rang. Bless him; he was concerned cause he’s not got the link via email for the blog.

We had a good natter, which cost me so much more time to get things done. But I really enjoyed the laughter. Bless, Pete as well!

Then the Porcelain Throne was needed, and it was more painful, nugget-mode, unbelievable the agony, and it was obvious, that Constipation Konrad was back in charge again. Kranklebudders!

Hours late, I got the blog finished off. Sent the link via email. Pinterested. Got the Facebook catch-up done. Started this blog. Too late to continue now, I was shattered mentally.

Went to check the meals progress and the sky suddenly became brighter, got the Nikon and took this photograph. A fascinating cornucopia of different types of clouds and colours combined to offer the opportunity to try and take a photographic gem. Bootiful! Can you see the head and face I spotted, in my tendency towards nephophilia, and apophenia? A fish, dog or a flying monster?

I got the evening tablets taken, and the meal served up. This chilli-con-carne came out a little hotter than the last one, so didn’t enjoy it as much as the te search of sleep.

Amazingly, I was off into the land of nod. But, within minutes… 

The danged Landline burst into life and woke me up! It might be the clinic about the Bowel Scan appointment? The DVT Warfarin about the Enoxaparin sodium injections, the Dentist.. no they wouldn’t ring this late. I’ll have to answer it, Thunderclaps! I’d hope they might ring off before I got to the line, but no. The PKCCP Proximal Knee-Cap-Cartilage-Pain in the right knee had never given me so much pain before, as I hobbled to answer the phone. All that unwanted effort and agony, and what happens? Whoever it was heard my voice and rang-off!

Worse still, could I get back to sleep again? No! Grobognangles! Grobbleknangles! Frangleklops! and Oy-yoy-yoy!

As for the knee’s cartilage pain… Argh!

Ah-well; here’s hoping for a better day tomorrow. (Not spoken as an optimist, more a defeatist fantasist!)

Inchcockski – Monday 19th October 2020: Sleep? What’s that then!

TFZer Party, with a special guest!

Monday 19th October 2020

Welsh: Dydd Llun 19eg Hydref 2020

02:40hrs: I stirred back into mu usual confused semi alive state, and was immediately aware that something was wrong, not right or unusual. But what?

The World-Wide Hum was blasting away, as usual, I was still uncertain what it was, for a few moments, and then minutes. Aha! Gorrit! No demands were being made of me, to use the Porcelain Throne, or for a wee-wee! Now I was more puzzled than before I’d worked out what it was that was annoying me. I had a terribly dry and sore throat, tight chest, and breathing was a bit of an effort, with sharp intakes of breath all the time. It sounds like a chill or cold to me.

 The moment I began to encourage my colossal belly with a body attached to it out of the c1968 recliner, a call for a wee-wee was received from the bladder. What a sad picklement I got into.

Getting to Little Inchy in time, was hard work, a button torn off of the jammies, and the PPs were ripped… and what for? The equivalent of a couple of tablespoonsful of the deepest orange wee-wee I’ve ever seen before! Silver-Lining-Search-Result: At least there was no pain with this release or partial release, I should say. Humph!

I took the bucket for sanitising, had a good wash, but didn’t change the torn PPs, cause I’m going to have to change them when I get the ablutions done later. Off to the kitchenette, with a stirring, a scintilla of near excitement, at the thought of using the new tin BP sphygmomanometer instrument for measuring my arterial blood pressure, at least with this being the same operational procedure as the old one, I was pretty confident in using it.

But, I got sidetracked after putting on the kettle and having a look at the morning view. Out of the light & view-blocking, impossible to reach for cleaning, new window, and got the urge to try once again (current record 210 photos, Two decent ones taken), to attempt to get some good pictures!

Well, not as bad as usual, indeed not good though! I nosied down to Chestnut Walk and took a snap in Aperture Priority setting. When I viewed the screen, it did look like a space ship of some sort was landing near the flats (Top left). I was tickled pink with it, and later made a more significant copy, and used it for the second picture down the blog today. I think the dark unidentifiable trees had covered part of some houses, leaving the impression of an alien craft. Or is it just me?

Finally, I got around to doing the BP Checks, then took the medications with a guzzle or two of the bottled spring water. The SYS is even higher today. But, it was lower than the first one I took earlier – it was 171 on that one; but by the time I’d got the camera ready, the machine turned itself off. Which is a good function, saves on battery life. I must remember to get the Nikon or Canon ready beforehand in future.

I then got the new head-thermometer out. I’m not so certain about using this at all. The print on the instructions is ridiculously small. I’ve no idea what needs doing with the SET plus/Minus buttons, but being as it seems to be working, I was a smidge nervous of cocking things up by toying with the settings. Lack of confidence? Me? Yes!

It came out at 34.4°c, and that must be okay, cause the screen was coloured green? I felt a soupçon on satisfaction in getting it right, the first time. But I’d like to have known how I did it. Hehehe!

Made a delightful brew of Glengettie tea, and I gulped down a few mouthfuls of the inadequate, wishy-washy, ineffective Peptac crap antacid medicine that the Doctor thinks, and told me years ago, ‘It’ll work a treat for your duodenal ulcer!’ I’m still waiting for it to do anything, something, to ease the pain! Tsk!

As I was settling at the computer, I realised there was no tingling coming from the ankle ulcer, so I investigated, with the Nikon!

Frottleclamorious! It is looking like it’s definitely on the wain. Never looked so uninflamed ever! But, will it come back again? Offering me more pain! Driving me insane? Will I be back on the vervain? She may never come back to drive me insane! Or are my hopes all in vain? I got carried away there with the rhyming, sorry.

I remembered the Morrison order is coming twixt 06:00>07:00hrs, so pressed on getting the updating of the Sunday blog done, but no time to double-check it, post it or anything. The ablutions, a stand-up job with it being so early, had to be done, so I turned everything off to give the computer a little time to cool down, and off to the wet room, I trudged.

A second wee-wee was needed as I got in the room, another waste-of-time-trickle-only affair, but this time a smidgeon of pain with it, not that it lasted long.

Things went unbelievably smoothly, Toothache Thomas okay, no cuts shaving, oh yes there was, I nicked my right ear-hole. All was going so well; until the ablutions and medicationalisationing were complete, and it came to replacing the PPs and getting dressed… Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, launched without any hints or warnings, into one of his involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances, and I crumbled to the floor, via the sock-glide on the chair! I believe I may have muttered something along the lines of; ‘Well fancy that!’ And struggling to get back up, as I hit my right elbow on the edge of the floor cabinet, ‘Blow me down!’

I returned to post off the Sunday post. Spent hours sorting out the graphics, literally, I got in a right mess as the internet kept going slower and slower.

The Morrison delivery arrived, and I slipped the chap a can of G&T for his bother and in thanks.

I’d got the last of the Christmas giveaway plonk in, and some batteries. The regular stuff, such as washing up liquid, bleach, bleach, Surf, instant potatoes, toilet cleaner, Irish potato farls, tomatoes, a bag of potatoes, bread thins, lemon mousse, mini raspberry and vanilla rolls, haemorrhoid cream, and even a packet of wooden skewers. Iceland no longer stock them, Tsk!

Got the goods stored away, and decided that today’s meal would be Chilli-Con-Carni. (hope this doesn’t make the poo too soft and runny!)

I got the fodder into the saucepan, with a tin of Heinz sweet curried baked beans, and a selection of Jenny-supplied yellow and red tomatoes chopped into the mix. And some Squid vinegar, and left to marinate before heating up later on.

Four potatoes will be added later from the crock-pot, being done a low-setting.

I’ll do some Irish potato farls in the oven later on, and have them as a substitute for having bread. Stomach too large and flabby!

It was an odd feeling, not having to wee-wee so often all day.

I did some graphicalising on CorelDraw, which took an aeon to get sorted and finished.

Then closed down Computer Katie, and got on with making up the recycling and rubbish bags. And stacked them on the three-wheeler-walker. Put the glass recycling bag on the trolley handles. I put the small waste bags in the delivery box, with the recycling one on top. Quite an industrial mode was adopted? Haha!

I put the little Canon camera, and keys & door fob to get back in the flats, in my pocket. Got my mask on, too. (See? I don’t always forget to take them!)

To the waste-room and downed the small bags in the chute, without any injuries or hassle at all! Smug-Mode-Temporarily-Assumed!

Caught the lift down to the ground floor, and out into the sunshine on Chestnut Walk. Put the glass in the bin, left the bag of recycling materials by the big bin, it was full. Sherlock Holmesian Mode Engaged; The workmen had I imagine, been using it, judging by the concrete and sandbags in there. At least they looked like them to me.

A steady wobble along the road to Winwood Court and the ILC’s (Independent Living Coordinators) Interrogation Office. Had a natter and a laugh with Riechsführeress and Catwalk Model Warden Deana.

As I departed and was hobbling back to Woodthorpe Court, I espied Penny and Christine ahead on me, just off of the bus. They were having a chinwag on the pavement. Aha, a chance for another beloved nattering session, perhaps!

I waved and moved towards them, but they scarpered rather swiftly away from me. No way could I catch them up, although I tried, but, I soon started struggling for breath, and gave-up. Then, of course, I realised, I’d got the black mask on, that may have put them off. Hahaha!

All clear of life and residents when I got in the lobby, I took this photo as I got into the lift. The box on top of the trolley is the PP carton I use to transport things down to the chute or bins. Also, now that Sainsbury’s have stopped using carrier bags for their deliveries, I use it to put the groceries in.

I got in the flat, taking a wee-wee, and Josie rangeth the doorbell’s Dusty Springfield tune, ♫ I only want to be with you! ♫ . She was returning the Sunday lunch things for me. Josie gave me another packet of cheese-curls. Thanked her, and returned to finish off my wee-wee. Not that it was worth doing, a sprinkle, cough, and it was all finished. And deep orange again, Tsk!

As I started to prepare the meal, I had some NHS stuff posted through the door. Advice on how to poo! On hoe to wee! And directions for what not to eat and drink Which included the demand for me not to drink ordinary tea, only decaffeinated! Well, now I need a stool, to use, to pass my stools! Har-har-har!

By the time I’d read half of it, my head was spinning!

I took the evening medications, remembering the Dioctyl®, and the last of the Macrobid antibiotic capsules, (Also known as, brand names Nitrofurantoin, Aratoin, Macrodantin and Furadantin – nowt like getting confused is there). After ten days of taking this, my urine is still clour matched as No.6 – Very Dehydrated? That did a lot of good!

Mind you, Dioctyl® (Docusate Sodium) poo-softener isn’t exactly doing much good either! Admitted, it’s a smidge easier than it was to pass, though. But still so painful and as much bleeding as before going on them. I’m not the luckiest of people! Haha!

Finally, I got the fodder served up. Tim Price thinks this Chilli-Con-Carne will do me better, passing-wise. Hahaha! Some part-baked rolls found and still in date, were added. And it was so tasty. The Flavour-Rating given was 805/10! I nearly ate all of the stuff on the stray! Yummy in the extreme!

I took the tray with the well-scrapped dish and got them soaking in the sink.

I had a wash, a few gulps of the defeasible, ineffective, impotent, anandrious Peptac antacid medicine, as Duodenal Donald was kicking off again, and treated Harold’s Haemorrhoids to a treat of Germoloids, before settling down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly beige-coloured, unkempt, fluctuant, ramshackle, broken-down, uncomfortable, dusty, rusty, haemorrhoid-attacking, decaying, tatterdemalion, heavy yet tottery, rickety recliner, in search of some sleep. 

No chance of my nodding off, Duodenal Donald made sure of that! So, I got a New Tricks DVD to watch. And was soon off in the land of nod… Bliss!

The door chimes burst forth! Just what I wanted this was! I fumbled my way free of the recliner. Getting some clothes and slippers on…

I stubbed my right foot big toe! Grobbleknackerbangles! Then walked into the doorframe going out of the room to the hallway. (I was getting angrier and more uptight as the seconds passed!)

No one was there! Spurgledamnations!

  • Either they had lost patience waiting for me to get to the door?
  • Or it was one of the famous Woodthorpe Court aliens: ghosts, wraiths, spirits, spectres, apparitions, phantasms, eidola, or poltergeist?
  • Or, in my slumber, I’d imagined, or dreamed of the door-buzzers going off?

Even less chance than ever of getting back to sleep now, Donald was still stinging and stabbing at me. Hogglebogwash!

I went to get a drink of warm milk, thinking it might help me find Sweet Morpheus. But no! I hadn’t got any. I’d plenty of individual serving sachets of milk, mind. So, I opted to make a mug of Gelngettie Gold tea instead, with an extra sachet of milk in it.

I had a look at the big toe to see if it had bruised or gone black, but it was fine, stinging only the slightest bit.

The best thing I spotted was that the leg-ulcer was fading fast! Yahoo!

Inchcock Today – Friday 9th October 2020: Faraway thoughts, Forgetfulness, Frantic-Panics, Frankensteinish-Fears, and Fretting, this Friday. Frumph!

The First TFZer Astronautess! Marie!

Friday 9th October 2020

German: Freitag, 9 Oktober 2020

02:15hrs: I reluctantly woke up, sniffling, and in need of a wee-wee. Bit of a struggle getting up, but I caught my balance easily, took the very full-looking EOGPB (Essential-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket) to the wet room, had a rather long, but trickling wee-wee, checked against the NHS colour code, I’m still at the number colour 6 on the card, ‘Very Dehydrated’. Washed and antisepticised my self and the bucket, and off to the kitchenette, to put the kettle on and make a brew of Glengettie Gold tea; first I’ll take a 100mg Docusate, with plenty of water.

No summoning to the Porcelain Throne yet, this bodes not well, and I anticipate that Constipation Konrad will be in charge when it does arrive.

I got the prescription bag emptied, and checked on the contents, and stored them away in their respective places in the medicine drawers.

The ‘Hum’ was heard again, of course. But it was not so intrusive this morning. Yee-Ha!

I found that the 100mg docusate sodium pot was easy to open, so that’s another good thing? Swallowed a capsule with a full mug of water, as instructed to, and then got the other medications out, and took them as well.

For some reason, the sphygmomanometerisationing, needed three goes before it operated, fault messages the first two goes?

The SYS had gone down a lot. Phew! Same with the DIA and pulse as well.

I had some difficulty in locating the stick thermometer. For some unknown reason, although there may be many to pick from; like memory failure, I’d dropped it and didn’t hear it wherever it went, stupidity and going bonkers are favourites.

I eventually found it in the first drawer I looked in, undoubtedly, the work of the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, Hallucinations. Materialisations, Poltergeist, Lemures, Wairuas, Kehuas, Manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan mission; ‘To annoy and scare the bejesus, and pants off of me!’

The reading was very-low this morning, at a lowly 33.9°c?

I tried once again to get a decent nighttime shot from the kitchen window, using the Canon camera this time, but nope, it seems I have failed yet again. Humph and Spit!

Onto the computer, and decided to make a stand-alone Inchy’s 5th Escape’ blog of yesterday’s outing. And, Puggleclumpdimwit, Flagtoggles, and Botherations!, it took me five hours to get it started and finished! The flaming day has gone! What a lamebrain! Then is still needed the email link, Facebooking, Pinteresting etc. and I was mentally drained by then!

Now I faced finishing off the Thursday post! Another two-and-a-half-hours lost!

I made some brekkers (Last of the biscuits), no bath or shower yet, and I wasn’t too keen on bothering! What an utter twit! I went on the WordPress reader and got carried away, more time lost.

Took a break and got the potatoes cooking in the pan. Then, by the time I’d got the diary finished and posted, I’d been up for eight hours, and didn’t feel too good. Went to update the Pinterest photos, and the system was down Grrr!

Posted the blog, and went on Facebooking! Felt a bit strained and drained now. Went on the comments section, made a brew, started this blog off, and then had a right funny turn – what happened I’ve no idea, but I appear to have lost a couple of hours? Scary!

Found a note, and at the time I could not understand it, it read; Jen £10, thank for time?

+I went through the kitchen to take the medications, and a pan was on the stove, an empty Chilli-con-Carne (I thought) can in the bin, the I spotted the dirty great saucepan of food heating up. Where, how, who? At this point I dropped the tea caddy, as as I bent down to retrieve it, all became a lot clearer, but it was a scary few minutes. The door chimes had gone, and I got the mask on, and answered it, and found that Jenny had kindly left me some yellow tomatoes on the doorstep. I took them in, a wonderful gesture, bless her, and I went to add some to the chilli in the saucepan her. I was putting some of the tomatoes, quartered and in the pan, and the phone rang. It Jenny ringing. We had a little natter and, and thinking about this, brought back the old memory box a bit. I found a note on the back of the pad, why the back I’ve no idea, with ‘Jenny £10, 20th Oct. I put the date and time on the calendar, and it all came back to me. Oh, dear, oh, dear!

I’m stopping doing computing now, too confused. I’ll see how I go, might try again later if things improve. As I was about to close down Computer Cameron, I got this message come up!

Now I am in panic mode! Dare not try to restart. All het-up and bothered.

I got the meal served up, on the tray. I thought it was the mild chilli-con-carni. I added some of Jenny’s quartered yellow tomatoes to it, potatoes, added some gravy and Squid sauce, a (naughty) mini-apple pie. Cox’s apple, a pot of yoghourt (but later dropped and broke the pot, taking the tray to the recliner, more mess and worry!). And my evening medications.

It wasn’t until I took the first taste, that I realised, this is not chilli-con-carne! I’d opened a can of beef in gravy by mistake, and not even apprehended it. Sad, innit? Still, it wasn’t half-tasty, just not what I expected. This meal will not encourage Constipation Konrad to ease off, will it?

I went to move the lemon yoghourt pot away from the heat of the fodder, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters timing caught me out again, and the pot dropped, bounced off the arm of the recliner, hit the tray on the Ottoman, and off straight into the waste bin! Unfortunately, hitting the rim, and busting open as it fell in. What a state the carpet was in! I just had to try and clean it up straight away, fumbled about and made a terrible job of sorting it out, I shall have a reminder forevermore, in the form of a blotchy scar on the carpet!

Frustrated, for a moment, I had my own personal psychological mandemic! Hehehe!

Not exactly carminative, s originally planned, but, ah-well, I still gave the nosh a Taste-rating of 7/10.

I took the tray and cleaning stuff back to the kitchen, and I returned in hopes of Sweet Morpheus, helping me forget the disasters and mistakes, even if only temporarily.

As I was resettling my wobbly-melon shaped stomached, crumbling-healthwise body into the c1968 recliner, and threw the green quilt over the horrific sight before me, the feet and ankles came out of the other end as I got the pins on the chair. The inflamed ulcer scar seemed to be dying down a smidge, the feeling of maggots under the skin had disappeared, no new blotches, papules or blemishes were visible—the stinging when I catch anything against it, less far less bothersome. (At last, I’ve found something that is improving. Hahaha! 

It felt like I’d dropped off, and within seconds, the Thought-Storm-Torrent began. Fed-up? Me? Yes!

Inchcockski – Thursday 8th October 2020:

This TFZer can share me in her lens, anytime. Yee-Haa!

Thursday 8th October 2020

Croatian: Četvrtak, 8 Listopada 2020

22:10hrs Wednesday: I woke sneezing, and in the most significant panic. Maybe I had been dreaming, I don’t know, can’t remember, but, I was in right dithering, disoriented state of mind for a minute or two. Where was I? What time and day is it? Who am I? Have I kicked the bucket?  An unfathomable mini-brainstorm ensued. Ah, I need the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket).

Slowly things came together, and I remembered last night, feeling so out-of-it, and getting my head down to rest and relax, I didn’t have a meal as I recall, but once the initial mish-mash of thoughts cleared, I did a survey of my health, mental and physical.

As I did this, the annoying ‘Hum’ from all around, droned on, getting louder all the time. Anyroad up, Duodenal Donald was still giving me some stick. My anamnesis of today’s visit to the St Anns Health Clinic came to mind, and I worked out that I needed to be all washed and ready, samples gathered, paperwork in the trolley, and out to the bus stop, by 0810hrs, at the latest, I didn’t want to miss the bus and appointment. So, did not risk going back to sleep, but rose from the depths of the unusually comfortable £300, c1968, recliner, for the habitual wee-wee.

 Releasing the WTPP (Weak-Trickling-Pale-Painfree) wee-wee, I remembered that I needed to take the filled-in record of my bladder and bowels movements or lack of.

But could I find it? No! Well, not for ages. I searched through the writing bureau, computer desk drawers, under the massive pile of ‘waiting to be sorted’ letters and mail, all without any success. Then, I checked the three-wheeled trolley guide bag, nope, not there! Going into panic-mode was an option. But I resisted.

The kitchen next, all the drawers (22 of them!), cabinets, cupboards and shelves! Though, why I would have put the paperwork in there, is a mystery, but desperation was growing,, and I was scouring through everywhere! Even the wet room was checked! Finally, I was moderately sure it must be in the front room, so I returned there for a further rummage around. Finding the outer-sheets, with advice on what I was to do, but not the record logs? Ah! the relief, when I spotted the required paperwork, that had fallen down between the little desk and cabinet! Phew! I got then enveloped and put in the trolley basket straight away!

Then nipped into the wet room for another wee-wee, which obligingly was of the almost normal SFS (Steady-Flowing-Stream) variety. Which enabled me to fill the sample tube for the Health Centre scans later. Belated Smug-Mode-Adopted!  I started to sneeze again.

I wandered off to the kitchenette, to get the Health Checks, medications took, and get the kettle on for a brew of Glengettie Gold. The SYS on the sphygmomanometer was pleasing, it gave 151, down from yesterday’s 178! The pulse was up, though, to 94. Tsk!

The stick thermometer temperature was well down, to 33.7°c. Ah, well!

I pressed on with updating yesterday’s Wednesday post. Achieving this within two hours. A curl of the lip, and Smug-Moded! Took the morning medications, no Senna or Macrogol took today. (I may regret that decision!)

I pinterested some snaps from the blog, replied to the comments, and went on Facebook catching-up. The WordPress Reader section next, there really are some great photograph sites posted today. Sent the Email link off.

Took a break, and made a mug of Thompsons Punjana tea, and made up the pot of Hoisin Noodles I bought from the bargain shop last week.

I shall not be buying any more of these noodles, I managed two mouthfuls but did not like them at all. Hey-Ho!

Then got on with updating the template, and started this blog writing.

Just about time left, to get a graphic done on CorelDraw, before getting the ablutions done.

Got carried away and left with a shorter time to get things done. Humph! The ablutions were a blur, I did them so fast! The legs and feet didn’t look too bad, apart from, of course, the pastiness!

Left things unsorted, and go the handwashing hastily done, rung and hung! In record time.

Got dressed and checked the paperwork, keys, mobile, bus pass etc. were going with me, and hobbled off to the bus stop, hoping I’d not forgotten anything. Camera in my pocket.

The Medicational Escape is a blog I’m going to make up as the first job in the morning about the escape and visit.

Here are a few of the photos taken on the way there and back home, all of the pictures can be found in the ‘Medical Escape’ post.

Link: Inchcocks 5th Great Escape

I caught the 40 bus back home, and I can’t believe how shattered I felt, drained, tired and weary! The feet and legs were painful, Duodenal Donald was still chipping away at me. This gerrin’ old is no fun! But not having to go to work is excellent! Hahaha!

I rang Jenny, we had a natter, which to me is invaluable. I can’t remember all we spoke and laughed about, but, it’s understandable the state I was in.

A Nottingham City Home directive had been hand-posted. A well-worded telling-off for whoever it is that’s putting wet-wipes down the toilet, and blocking it, causing a lot of cost in time and money putting right so often lately. Not Guilty at flat number72, I can tell you!

I had to try and stay awake, in case the prescriptions were delivered. I got the dinner sorted, and ate off my lap, in front of the TV, watching Law & Order with subtitles so I could hear if the door chimed went off. I must say, the nosh was one of the best for a while. The Birds Eye smoked haddock, and cheese-filled fishcakes tasted marvellous! The chips cooked just how I like them, too! Flavour Rating 9/10!

Unfortunately, being so worn-out, I fell asleep! It had to happen! I was woken up with a jolt, by the door chimes tunes, it made me jump, and the tray plate and cutlery was dropped onto the carpet and me, on the way down! Tsk!

I fought my way in a bit of a panic, cause I didn’t know if the chimes had been rung a long time, and did not want to miss the medications if it was them arriving.

It was the pretty lady from Carrington Pharmacy, Deepaks, daughter, I think, with the bags of prescriptions for me.  I thanked the gal muchly and gave her a bag of nibbles by way of my appreciation in them being delivered.

But I was not up to sorting out the medications at that moment, and I just took out those needed for tonight, left the others in the bag. They had delivered the new capsules for stool-softening, named on the tub as Docusate (Dioctyl), so I took one with plenty of water, as is recommended. I’ll take another on Friday morning with the medications, four a day the dosage, then I may soon be able to use the Porcelain Throne without going through the usual agony! Well, I can hope and dream!

Then I had to go and sort of the artistically made mess I’d made on the floor, foot-stool and recliner. Then, at last, I got stripped off, wrapped myself in the heavier quilt, and settled back into the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner… and within seconds I was in a deep, satisfying sleep… Heaven!

Sob, weep, cry! The landline burst into action and woke me up. I rolled my body-mass, (and there’s a lot of it, I’d say 50% stomach!) free off the recliner, and got to the phone in time. It was the Doctors surgery receptionist, to advice me, that Doctor Vindla had sent the prescription to the Chemist, and I have to pick it up tomorrow. Great, will there never be an end to the hassles, jobs and medicationalisticalisations! Skulkclogglebonks! 

Still, I don’t mind in the least bit. Who needs sleep, rest and peace of mind? Certainly not me!

Inchcockski – Sunday 27th September 2020: Montezuma’s revenge, I shouldn’t eat Chilli-Con-Carne!

Fowl-Deeds at the TFZer Cool-It-Cabin? Hehe!

Sunday 27th September 2020

Norwegian: Søndag 27 September 2020

02:00hrs. : I stirred into a mock, semi-awake state of mind, and soon discovered that I needed a wee-wee. I could see the OGPEB (Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Emergency-Bucket) had not been used from where I lay, which was a bonus for me, cause I can now nip to the wet room, without having to take the pale to be cleaned and sanitised with me. As I rolled sideways to remove my preponderantly, over-bulky-stomached body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, nauseatingly-beige coloured recliner. Suddenly, there no time to even catch my balance now, I could sense the PMAD Pre-Micturition Dribble, was doing its best to escape, so a hasty-hobble to the wet room was made.

I got in the room, dropped the PPs, and thought I was going to let rip a torrential, intense blast of wee-wee into the bowl. But, no! A weak sprinkling for a few seconds and that was it? This felt all wrong. Hey-ho! I washed the hands slowly, just in case any after-leaking started, there was no more.

As I made my way to the kitchenette, I noticed than many of the regular ailments were more noticeable by their absence, this morning, up to now, anyway! Arthur Itis, SSS, (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) and Anne Gyna to start with! But the oddity of the pathetic wee-wee, tells me something is brewing from the innards. A twinge here and there from the bowels! So I didn’t adopt any Smug-Mode!

I’d put the *Nokia camera on a charge, so I took a photo from the kitchen window with the complicated top learn Kodak camera. *Ah, just noticed, this, I meant, Nikon camera! I used the Night setting. It’s even worse than the Nikon and Canon at night shots! Tsk!

I was about to make a start on doing the Health checks – and the bladder tried to release its load straight away! A panic flap, and rush to the wet room, hitting my right shoulder en route, Argh!, but got there with seconds to spare (Just). I was fortunate in making it in time – wet, sloppy yet so quick and painful. I pinned the blame on myself, for having the Chilli-con-carne for my nosh, last night! Mind you, Tim Price told me a good chilli would clear me out – he was right!

Cleaning myself took long enough, but the splashed all over the bowl mess, took ages as well! 

But at least only one flush was required… I can tell, there will be more visits during the day.

Back to the kitchen, and got on with Health Checks. The sphygmomanometerisationing results were a bit scary! I think I’ve used the wrong photo here? I thought the SYS was at 167 on the machine?

Then the stick thermometer gave me a really low reading, then? Am I perhaps on my last legs here? Ready for the Great Leader above to call me to his side?  Not that this would be a problem, I’ve a few questions I’d like to ask him about.

Made a brew Thompsons Punjana, and another dash to the Porcelain Throne (2)! A repeat performance again. I got a feeling of deja vu! Although the evacuation was of a tad smaller in volume, still wet and splashy, mind. The cleaning up took a lot longer this time, for some reason.

The personal cleaning was awfully painful, Harold’s Haemorrhoids were almost screaming out loud! Hehehe! The innards were beginning to stab at me a bit, I think there are still some actions to come.

Made a brew of Glenbgettie Gold tea, and had to rush back to the Porcelain-Throne again (3)! Oh, dearie me! The last of the ‘good’ toilet paper has now been used-up! I’m onto the thin cheap crap from Amazon now. Resulting in an even bigger mess to clean up tan last time. The same type of evacuation, but so much less and even quicker job. Still hurt though! Tsk!

The tea had gone cold, so made another drink of Thompsons Punjana, this time. Then I got Computer Cameron going. Going for another wee-wee, I noticed the Humidity & Temperature monitor, both were within the guidelines.

I used the Kodak, and it produced a nothing-it-looked-like, to the eye, photo of my right foot! As I didn’t see any shaded areas as I reviewed the shot through the eye-lens, everything looked bright and clear. Klunglefrazzles! I think the auto flash on the Kodak made the feet look worse than they were.

I updated yesterday’s blog, not much left that needed doing. Made a drink of Glengettie, had a wee-wee and Pinterested some pictures.

Then, I had to visit the Porcelain Throne (4th) again, and it required some swift, dextrous moves on my behalf, to get there in time before the onslaught of an evacuation started! I’m getting worn-out with these visits, and all the sanitising and cleaning up that accompany each one! Schluberdubersnarl!

Got the updating finished and sent off. Then onto Facebooking catch-up, that took a long time. On the WordPress Reader, some great stuff on there today. Comments, and Winwood Heights Facebook page. Got a template made for the blog. Then went to make a brew…

Then, I had to revisit the Porcelain Throne, the 5th one of the day! At last, there were indications that the attack was easing, far less content this time, but it was messier than ever, and Harold’s Haemorrhoids were suffering something rotten! Got the place and myself cleaned up again.

Back to the computer, and spent a couple of hours sorting out the graphics on CorelDraw. I’m not sure if its the programme, the computer, or me; but things keep moving from one folder to another in just one file? Probably me!

Now, weak and weary and weak, I decided to get the Ablutions done, it felt like they were really needed! Well, they were required, a damned good freshening shower and the loofa and glove will be well used! Then, guess what?

Yes, back on the Porcelain Throne (6th time this morning). Still messy, but less content methinks. I had a good clean up, as the tummy still rumbled. I suppose the problem arose from my having the Chilli-Con-Carne last night. I wondered why I’d not had any for months, I remember why now. Hahaha! I’ll check the cupboard later, and dish any cans of chilli that I find. Tsk!

I utilised the lemon-fresh air-spray and set about the ablutionisationing.

  • Doing the teeth, I found another split in a tooth, that’s four teggies with problems now, they’re not many left, either. Toothache Terence played up, of course. Three dropsies.
  • Great shaving session, only one small cut, and just two dropsies!
  • The showering went without dropping the showerhead – mind you there were four other dropsies. The worst, being the little-slim last bar of carbolic soap, it shattered into tiny pieces? Can’t get anymore now. So I used the lemon bar, not that I can smell any lemon in it! Humph!
  • Just the one knock against the grab bar as I retrieved the loofa from the deck. And it didn’t set SSS off either. I think the brain-pain department is worried more over the bout of the Chilli-prompted Diahorrea.
  • The medicationalisationing, as to be expected, was so painful. Well, the rear end was. The furuncle had been obliterated by the outcoming torrents from the bowels, I couldn’t even feel it this morning? Poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids suffered the most, bleeding and stinging without any respite. Brunglebogles!

I got some hand-washing done in the kitchen sink. Used the dark-clothing liquid I got from the Bargain Shop in town. When I picked it up, I thought there must have been a leak, cause it’s the first time I’ve used the bottle, the seal seemed okay, but it was half-empty? Brunglebogs! Perhaps I can apportion blame to the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The ghosts, hobgoblins, boll-weevils, aliens, gremlins, grotesqueries, urchins, karakia-cursing entities, hallucinations. Materialisations, poltergeist, lemures, wairuas, kehuas, manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan mission; To destroy the sanity, confuse, and scare the hell out of Inchcock? Tsk!

I had a look at the latest figures for the Coronavirus in Nottingham. It as not looking so good. The 154 figure is for the last 7 days.

With stomach aching and grinding away, I started this blog going. But soon realised the time, and had to stop, as Josie’s Sunday lunch needed preparing, so I washed the hands well, dried them, and got on with it.

I was proud of this week’s cheesy potatoes, chives, Squid vinegar, Leicester Cheese, and a knob of Morrison’s best Brittany butter with sea-salt, all went into the mix. The fish in batter, garden peas, Surami sticks, tomatoes, Marmite cheese and beetroot finished off the plate. Added some chocolate bars and a can of pink gin and tonic on the tray. Made my way to Josie’s door with the feast.

On my way to her door, I suddenly felt a little poorly, weak, and oh, so tired. Josie mentioned that I looked rather qualmish. (I must look what that means later, Hehe!) She okayed the look of the meal, and we swapped hellos then farewells. I wanted to let her get the meal while the fish, garden peas and cheesy potatoes were still warm.

I took to the smell of the fish in-batter I’d served Josie. And I decided to have the same myself. Although it was early, I thought it an idea to get my nosh now, and refill the frequently-emptied innards, plus I was suddenly feeling so weary and tired, I knew there was a chance of my falling asleep the moment I got settled down. This was a good idea, for I sensed the body was telling me it needed to rest and recuperate.

I took the medications early and prepped my own nosh. Fish in batter, Surami, tomatoes, garden peas and the leftover cheesy potatoes from Josies. Two tiny tubs of mousse as well. To my own amazement, I ate the lot!

I washed the pots and settled down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, unstable, pukingly-beige-coloured, most-uncomfortable, no-longer working, heavy, yet tottery, rickety, rusty, rachitic, recliner.

That was it for me, the day was done. I spent about six hours, drifting-off to sleep and waking again! On the plus side, despite the rumbling from the innards, there were no more calls to the Porcelain Throne. I gave up trying to get and stay asleep and got up at 02:00hrs.

Montezuma’s revenge, the huckleberry two-steps, or dysentery, call it what you will, but worra terrible, testing, Trotski’s trying, torrential-teeming, Porcelain-Throne record attending, day!

A simple bus ride to fetch my Spectacles – Not on your life, talk about things going wrong. Humph!

A simple bus ride to fetch my Spectacles

Not on your life, talk about things going wrong!

The things you will read on this so-called true-funny blog of mine,

Really are true, and challenge my sanity  and mind,

Please persist reading, and you will find,

Why I have logicality, hopelessness and despondencies entwined!

Off to Sherwood to collect my glasses,

I’ll call on Jenny and Doris, such lovely lasses,

I’ll leave them a treat, containing molasses,

Might get a chinwag with whoever passes?

 ———————————————

Caught the lift down with no problem at all,

Left the bag, hope they have a ball,

Returned to lift lobby hall,

Catching the elevator, not easy at all,

I was so frustrated and appalled,

25 minutes later, the lift responded to my call!

 ———————————————

Rushing out to Chestnut Walk, slipped and broke my shoe,

Clouted it on the walker’s wheel, surely there is some good luck due?

But what made me saddest, was the bus had departed, early too!

So, all het-up now, I legged-it, passed-wind, and feared wanting a poo!

 ———————————————

On Winchester Street, The walker ran away from me,

I chased it, and is facticity,

I wedged it against a box for electricity,

To take this phot, but not with enough adequacy,

I stopped it again but with inefficacity,

No doubt about it, this was going to be a trip of paucity!

———————————————

I got down the hill, energy’s what I did lack,

I must get the bus up the hill going back,

I called on two shops to get cleaner and a snack,

Off to the optician’s, the one drawback,

I was wearing a sort of anorak,

I was so hot, but didn’t hold back,

Got in the shop, and took the receptionist flak,

I was late, it seems was her crack!

———————————————

I had a long wait to be seen,

Not that I was all that keen,

£300 to pay, never again to be seen,

Crosswording while I waited,

The receptionist called me to be seen,

The lady dealt with me, glasses were fitted,

I got quite jolly-fully contented and witted,

Until it came time to pay, the nI was fritted!

I’d forgotten my pin number again,

I think the lady thought of me; “What a Pain!”

From crying out loud, I did refrain,

She got the money through, this seemed diaphane,

How I don’t know, so I asked her, it felt germane,

I didn’t understand her, and felt a right dumb-brain,

Thanked her, pretending to understand, I did mislain,

Still, she didn’t moan or complain!

Then out and up the hill, to catch the bus again!

———————————————

I had to doge another Pavement Cyclist, he gave me a fright, 

I was too tired to comment or get into a fight,

I’d run out of the Kryptonite! 

Would I make the walk home up the fearsome hill? I might! 

Down to the traffic light corner,

And the bus passed by, I was too late!

I checked the next ones time and date, 

40 minutes, too long to stand and wait,

So I set off, limping, with an unsteady gait!

The hill looked a fearsome sight, 

The prospect of climbing it, made me feel uptight,

Sorry that I didn’t wait for the bus, I felt contrite!

Anyone seeing me struggle up the road must have seen a sickening sight,

I was sure the gradient was gaining height?

The hobble home seemed infinite

At the top of Winchester, the parkers made things tight,

For breakfast, I should have had some Marmite,

The time went by slowly, and things went quite,

Somehow, up the last part of the hill, I did expedite, 

To see a harrowing sight,

The 40 bus arriving, some tenants did alight,

 My energy was drained completely now, flat!

Didn’t have the energy for eating my cervelat,

Must not fall asleep, I’ll have to do summat,

I got back to the apartment, Zzzz; that was that!


After this abysmal, Whoopsiedangle-ridden trip, the poor old twit, did have fleeting thoughts of a suicidal nature. but he did not act on them – He fell asleep! Haha!

Inchcock – Monday 14th September 2020: Asininity visited me today, and ruled the roost. Tsk!

TFZer, Nancy

Monday 14th September 2020

Khmer (Cambodia): ថ្ងៃច័ន្ទទី ១៤ ខែកញ្ញាឆ្នាំ ២០២០

04:00hrs: After a most peaceful four-hours of deep-sleep, I stirred back into an imitation of life, and immediately the innards demanded I have a wee-wee and visit the Porcelain Throne.

Almost like a fifty-year-old, I was up from the c1968 recliner, I’d caught my balance without any bother, and was making my may to the wet room. Amazing! Zoooom! 

You should have seen the walking stick woggling along… Yes, things were starting of their own accord from the rear-end again! Would I make it in time! The few yards seemed like miles…

I clouted my right shoulder on the door-frame entering, this set of SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) gave me some discomfort, and I’m afraid caused the removal of the PPs to be a tad longer to do. I suffered the embarrassment of a premature evacuation!  Broggleknockersworth! The motion itself was a messy affair, but it was super-fast, far less hurtful than usual, and only minimum bleeding.

Mixed results then. The cleaning up took an awfully long time, and Arthur Itis’s knees suffered, with all the bending to clean things up. Bagged and tagged the waste, and placed it ready to go to the Dirty-Bin.

The cleaning of my magnificently honed, toned, and muscular young torso’s rear area went easy enough. Ahem!

The certain areas medicating was done, new PP’s on, a good scrub-up, and off to the kitchenette.

The sphygmomanometer revealed a high SYS reading again, Tsk!

However, the stick thermometer reading told me it was now up to 34.9°c (94.82°f), which is higher than it has been for months now. So things are looking up in that area, at least! I took the photo a bit clearer this time, used the Nikon.

With my not being able to nod-off last night, and my getting-up so late, I was now well-behind with things that needed to be done this morning. My EQ told me a problem or difficulty would soon arise. I wish he’d shut-up at times! But he is usually right, nay, always right!

On the computer, and created a page-top graphic on CorelDraw for tomorrow’s diary. I then pressed on with updating Sunday’s post. I can say, the typing suddenly became so much more mistake-ridden, as Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters and Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, were both in a gentle mood with me! But bearing in mind the EQ’s earlier warning, I combated the temptation to go into a Smug-Mode. 

When I’d got the blog finished, I sent it off to WordPress. Then put some snaps onto Pinterest, and got the template ready for today’s Inchcock effort. Stoped there, turned of the computer to let it cool down, and poddled off to get the ablutions done.

Ablutionalisationing Report!

As I stripped off, I did notice that the right leg’s Clopidogrel allergy marks had started coming up further on top of the foot. Both of the legs also had many new papules and spots appearing.

The old ankle ulcer patch had faded further, but it had moved a little, down towards the heel. Still, a change is as good as a rest. As some twit said.

The teeth cleaning went almost painlessly! And it might sound far-fetched this, but during the shaving, I only had one dropsy, and got only the one tiny cut! The Smug-Mode could not be resisted this time! Haha!

Fair due’s, the showering was not so good, but it’s been a lot worse at times. One dizzy, but it was a nasty one, that lasted a few minutes. I hung on to the grab bar while Dizzy Dennis was with me, and felt no effects afterwards, so that was a plus! A few dropsies followed; the shower gel bottle, the loofa (3), the carbolic soap (2), and a decent bash on the head, on the shower box as I bent down to retrieve the soap.

Drying off, medicationalising, and freshening up, bore no real hassle or accifauxpas. Even the furuncle seems to be dying off suddenly, so much reduced pains compared to yesterday. The Smug-Mode Defcon went from Grade 4 to grade 3! Hahaha! I also spotted the many new spots, and papules had appeared on the chest as well. And, I think my treble-chin, is turning into a fourble-chin, the man-breasts had grown considerably, and as for the belly! Tsk!

I got trousers and the long-sleeved maroon zipped-jumper on. No socks needed, so I avoided suffering any bruised, trapped, or bloody fingers again. Then, I  went to make a brew of Thompsons Punjana. My breakfast was three of the cold potatoes from last night that I had not eaten, some mini-cheddar biscuits, and a banana. Gawd, I live well!

I nipped out on the balcony to try out the Kodak camera, that confuses me more than any other one I’ve ever had. I wanted to try some long-distance zoomed-in shots, each in a different setting. I could not see any difference in the three pictures of the high rise building in Nottingham! Or maybe I had got changing the shot-setting wrong?

The highlight of my little photo session was the last one I took, as I dropped the Kodak Camera as I was shutting the danged windows! I steered the escaping camera with my left knee so that it fell into the three-wheeled trolly bag on its way down. No damage, I don’t think, I hope not anyway. The photo when I uploaded it, left me guessing what it was of?

As I got settled to try and make more graphics, a message came in on £817.15 Qualcomm SDM845 Snapdragon 845 10 nm 128 GB RAM, the Nokia 9 PureView mobile phone. Well, it’s a Nokia anyway. Hehehe!

It was from the Nottingham City Homes, Repair Team. They are now telling me they will call on Tuesday 15th, tomorrow, to do the Fire Alarm repair, instead of the original date, which caused me a little concern. Could this be the upcoming bother that the EQ warned me about? I thought that Tuesday was the day when I had to stay in, for the creeding to be done in the lift lobby?

I checked on the calendar, yes, I was right. Warden Deana is on holiday, so I can’t ask her to call them for me, so I put extra olive oil in the left earhole, got the hearing aids in, put the landline on handsfree, and rang the number given on the text message.

They must be very busy. I waited, and the phone replied with a long recorded message, that I could only pick out the odd word, like rent arrears, Coronavirus, and departments. The ringing started and a statement apologising for keeping us waiting, saying they are busy, the music started… this happened eleven times. I was on the phone for about 20 minutes, then a lady answered. It was hard hearing her, and I kept having to ask her to repeat things, then she told me to hang on (Hahaha!) while she arranged for another appointment to be made, the canned music again… she returned on the line and told me they had rearranged it for Thursday 17th, 08:00 > 12:30hrs. Which was good, I had nothing on the list for that day. I thanked the lady and got the details onto the Google calendar updated.

Back on CorelDraw. Got one done, and the fatigue fell again. I’ve it for any concentrationalistical stuff now, going to get some nosh made. As I was making the fodder, the landline burst into life. It was dear, caring Jenny, to tell me she had got me some more yellow tomatoes and would bring them down later when they arrive. Bless her, I wasn’t really up to doing much, I left a bag outside with the milk for the gal to collect. She’s so kind.

I was sorry I’d got the meal done early, and will miss having the yellow tomatoes, but they will be all the more appreciated tomorrow! Yum! I had a few oven chips for the first time in a while. A tasty nosh, that I gave a Taste-Rating of 802/10.

As I was finishing off the meal, the door chimes rang out. It was Jenny, who’d left the delightful looking tomatoes outside the door. I got them into the fridge for later, they looked lovely.

As I was taking the evening medications, a Herbert-like tap-tapping was heard from above, I dropped the pill-box on the floor and it split open, and crunched my poor-old tender, arthritic, cartilage gristle tendons right-hand little finger against the metal counter corner. Skulkleclogglebonks!

I’m afraid my language in the response, was a muttered verbal outburst to the incident, and a few obscenities, and profanities in it. I felt a bit guilty after!

Sweet Morpheus was more reluctant than ever to arrive. About 20:00hrs, a noise from somewhere began, clunk, tap. scrape began for a few minutes! This made me surrender and give up trying to get to sleep. I put the TV on, and after a while, to my surprise, there was an interesting programme about true murders in London came on. Aha, thought I, I’ll watch this… Zzzz! Tsk!

Inchcock Today – Monday 7th September 2020:

TFZers gather at the Cool-It-Cabin! ♥

Monday 7th September 2020

Uzbekistan: 2020 yil 7-Sentyabr, dushanba

  00:15hrs: I woke with some lingering memories of dreams I’d been having, and fumbled to get the notepad and pen, to write down what I could recall of them. But by the time I’d dropped the pad, and got myself sorted out ready to scribble, the memory box had lost everything about the dream! So annoying innit? Tsk! 

While I lay there, silently swearing at myself, the urgent need of a wee-wee presented itself. All thoughts of the failed recollections of the dream were abandoned, and I heaved my grossly overly-stomached body from the £300, c1968, second-hand recliner, wobbled a bit, and got to the OGPEB (Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Emergency-Bucket), and suffered a rather painful PSC (Powerful-Sprinkly-Colourless) wee-wee. As I got the bucket cleaned and disinfected, I half expected the usual ‘within-minutes-of-waking’ summoning to the Porcelain Throne, but no, which surprised me.

I poddled to the kitchenette, and the view through the hanging washing covered, new light & view-blocking windows, revealed the moon in miniature again. So I got the Kodak PixPro AZ 651 bridge-camera, (sounds all posh dunnit?) and took a shot in the Aperture-Priority mode. Not too bad!

I got the Health Checks done then, starting with the BP sphygmomanometerisationing. Oh, dearie me! The SYS was still high, too high. Next, I used the stick thermometer to get the body temperature. Down a bit, at 32.4°c.

At the most inopportune moment, just as I was pouring the tea, SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) gave me a good shaking, and I dropped knocked the mug over! Boiling water and hot tea went all over the counter, down the cupboard doors onto the floor. I thought how lucky I had been in not getting injured or scolded, and in the midst of cleaning up the mess, a sneaky Smug-Mode began coming on, but not for long!

As I was struggling to get up from the floor, I slipped on a patch of wet I’d missed, and clouted the top of my head and nose against the corner of the cupboard! It could have been worse, I anticipated a dirty great lump on the bonce, but there wasn’t. 

The Falls Team Member is calling to see me today. No idea what time, though. So, I got on with the updating of yesterday’s diary, so I could have time to get the ablutions done before he, she or they arrive.

SSS did not help any, but I stuck at it and got it done in a few hours. Pinterested some snaps from the blog. Went on the WordPress Reader, then Facebooking. Emailed the link, and replied to a couple of comments. Did some graphicationalisationing.

Aha! The call to the Porcelain Throne arrived, and off to the wet room.

The recent ten or so sessions have all been a struggle and time-consuming affairs. So I got the crossword book to hand – but by Jiminee, the movement almost shot out in one long, painful blast! Messy, pongy, and bloody.

Got a good clean up, and returned to the computer to press-on with the starting and updating of this blog. Off to do the ablutions.

Stand-up-Ablutionalisationing Whoopsies Progress Report.

  • Wee-wee: of the CLD (Cloudy-Long-Dribbling [but not painful]) mode taken.
  • The teeth cleaning: It went very well, I took it nice and steady, almost gently! Only one dropsy, the brush. No bleeding! Oh, no, the mouth wash bottle went as well, just the once.
  • Shaving: Dropped the shaving foam twice.
  • Shaving: Dropped the razors (5). As far as I can tell, only one tiny-weeny cut!
  • Body washing: Soap dropsies, Eight of them!
  • Body Washing: Flannel dropped three times!
  • Body Washing: Knocked the soap dish off of the sink as I removed the plug to soak the flannels after washing. No damage or bother, it is an old yoghourt pot I use! (Common as muck, me!)
  • Towelling off: No knocking over, off or into anything! Yee-ha!
  • Medicationalisationing: Dropped the Viscotears® liquid gel spray, I now have no Viscotears® liquid gel spray left, it broke! Cleaned things up and continued medicating other areas.
  • Medicationalisationing: Olive oiled the ear-holes.
  • Medicationalisationing: As carefully as is possible, I applied the Germolene to the largest carbuncle. Cleverly (I thought), avoiding Harold’s Haemmorhoids
  • Medicationalisationing: Then the Germoloid cream applied
  • Medicationalisationing: 
  • Medicationalisationing: 
  • Medicationalisationing: 

I went on the balcony to take some shots of the morning as it brightened up somewhat.

More work on this diary, and the intercom lit-up and the Falls Team lady, Caroline arrived.

The nurse went through my details and was very sociable with it.

During the time Caroline was here, Sister Jane rang several times, thinking that we would have been finished the consultation, and in the end, told me to ring her back when I was free. Hehehe!

The very patient Caroline, ended up arranging for a walking frame (Never thought this would happen to me!) that is narrower than usual to try out in the flat. And hopefully, get me back on a physio-course. I definitely felt so much better after the visit. Thanks, Caroline.

I then set about getting a wash to freshen me up and dressed to go out, and then rang Jane back. My xyrophobia, trypanophobia,  Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, and belonephobia, suffering, over amour propred, sickenly good-looking Brother-in-law Pete, was at the City Hospital hospital today, for more flipping chemoradiotherapy treatment. I’ll ring him in the morning to see how it went.

I set out to the bus stop, on my escape from isolation, with the aim of getting some disinfectant from Poundland, and black washing liquid was the Bargain shop.

The mood in town was one of depression, that’s the only word to use. I have never seen Nottinghamians so dispirited in my life!

It brought me down with them. The gloom was almost overbearing.

I got off of the bus, called in Poundland, and came out after spending just £12.50, and limped to Milton Street, going in the Bargain Shop. I only spent £5.77 in there, so many things not available, but I did get the black washing liquid, still on a bargain price with a few other items, that were not essential.

A photographing hobble around down the depressing Clinton Street, right along Long Row, and up Queen Street to the bus stop home.

I caught a 40 bus, having to sit on the side-saddle seat, to have room for the trolley. A lady with a disabled scooter got on, and I was moved to an ordinary seat. But with no room for the three-wheeler walker guide! I had to grab onto it and move it each time someone got on or off the bus. Hard work. Hahaha! I was shattered by the time I got back to the flats. Hey-ho!

I got off of the bus without any bother. Alright! I caught my right knee on the trolley as it did its own thing lowering it to the pavement. It set Arthur Itis off for the rest of the day. Humph! Not that it mattered much, I was not going anywhere or doing anything productive much in the state I was in, Shackumed!

I say do nothing, I did make a large meal, and ate nearly all of it. A tasty feast really! A deserving flavour rating of 8/10.

I took the evening medications while dining. Put the plate and things in the sink to soak overnight, and washed/medicated certain bodily areas in need of doing.

I think this was the quickest I dropped off onto the land of Nod, for months!


In the morning, I made up a hopefully witty photo-ode of my trip out to Nottingham, before updating this blog. This is the link to it if you’ve not read it yet, I fank you!

A depressingly poor tale in ode of my escape from Isolation!

A Little Chunter from Inchcock. In bad, nae, terrible rhyme!

1Mon05.jpg

A Little Chunter from Inchcock

In bad, nae, terrible rhyme!

It’s the day of the criminal, there is no more law,

Empathy, understanding have become just folklore,

I don’t see Police officers in Nottingham, anymore,

 Pavement Cyclists, beggars and shoplifters galore,

Street sleepers, who survive with skills of a detrivore,

Druggies, alcoholics, muggers, both old and mature,

While families dine, smoke cigars and drink their liquor,

All the time, making the poor, feel even sicker!

Disabled with Fit for Work Assessments, have to fight and bicker,

A blind chap got told he can work on a cherry-picker!

Jobseekers told to do psychometric tests, Glory Be!

But if you’re lucky, you’ll live to retire just like me,

But it isn’t what you thought, no rest and freedom, see,

Heart attack, Duodenal Ulcer, and I live on the twelfth-floor,

Peripheral Neuralgia, then a stroke and Arthritis, core!

What next I thought, and the lock broke on the door,

It was mended within three weeks, no need to be sore,

My hot water system went down, so I called help once more,

After nine days of being lied to, ‘We are coming today for sure,

Staying in and awake eight-until-ten, no chance of a bedsore!

But they mended it! It leaked, my clothes wet, the water did pour!

I slipped on the liquid, ending up injured on the floor,

Luckily, the stroke nurse called, so help came to the fore,

Depression and self-hating I began to explore,

I complained at the lack of help, this just caused a furore!

Now the haemorrhoids have returned, bloody and sore!

 

I fank You!