THE SUICIDAL TORY FUTURE
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Got bedded down last night, well, this morning at around 03:20hrs, and low & behold, 
was waiting, ready to start again. But I did get off eventually and had nearly three hours of bliss. I would have stayed in the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner for longer; Unfortunately, Dementia Doreen’s compatriot, 
, convinced me on waking, that it was Monday! So I thought I had a delivery coming between 7 & 8, and it was already 07:15hrs; a semi-panic-mode was engaged and I got up in a bit of a rush; Dizzy Dennis visited, lost balance, and I sat down again, with a foggy head.
Then I realised it was Sunday…
The Night Pouch
At first glance, I thought I’d been mysteriously passing spaghetti through Little Inchie and 
. Hehehe! Too dark a colour.
The legs look a little rough again.
No pains with them, yet.
Got some spuds in the crock pot.
Then felt the need for the 
.
Well, 
was done after three days. But of course 
meant a mess to clean up.
Waste Bags Sorted.
Carer Rahmat arrived. Did the issuing of the medications, eye drops, painkillers & Peptac were given. A little natter, which I appreciated. Took her BP and temperature. Very good, see above.
I felt so different again this morning. Plain weary, but the balance was much better. I got on with the mammoth job of catching up on yesterday’s blogging. Things started annoyingly…
Amazingly, I changed the Wi-Fi option and it came back! Very slow work this time. I feared I might even fall asleep in the computer chair. I must try to get some decent sleep in.
I was amazed again, at how the time flew by – it was the midday call already. The blog was making progress, slowly. Rahmat at last accepted a drink I offered a choice of. Bless her!
Got the blog posted at long last. And made a start on the Ode for today’s Inchy Today. I think it took me over three hours, and then later I found spelling mistakes in it. 
, I think my concentration was getting far worse the more tired I got. 
Still, could be worse… couldn’t it?
Still struggling with the editing, and I forgot all about taking any photos until early evening. I’d been nibbling; in fact, I ate all of the remaining Le Petit bikkies!
A banana, a choc ice, an orange ice lolly, and as of now 19:10hrs, I’ve not made or wanted a mug of Glengettie?
This is singularly worrying. It’s never happened before? Could it be the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchie to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me!
Very peculiar situation. Not only not drinking tea, but failing to take photos of the clouds for my pareidoliaing!
I took a snap of the afternoon sky and grabbed another orange lolly from the freezer. Hahaha!
Bootiful!
Continued with the blog for several slow-moving hours, and went to take photographs of the later evening. I was struggling then 
and 
were making it difficult for me to control the camera and use the selection buttons, but I had to give up.
Carer Benjamin arrived. I hadn’t heard him, cause even if I had hearing aids in, I couldn’t hear the dooorchime when in the kitchen or wetroom. He was right behind me and made me jump a smidge. Which brought a much-needed smile. He’d been standing there a while and noticed how I was struggling with the Kodak. He whipped out his mobile phone and took these photos for me, bless his cotton socks.
Then a closer shot of the houses.
That was kind of Benjamin.
So I took a snap of the lad.
Offered a cold drinkie in thanks, and he got the medications sorted. Then the eye drops were put in. He’s a clever lad, and noticed the shaking in my… well, all over really. Hehehe!
He’ll be back, just like Arnie, later for the Catheter night bag fitting. After Benjamin departed, I got on with updating this blog, to here. But mental fatigue, mistake-making and lack of sleep made me stop. I hope I’ll be back later too.
Took this shot of the attractive early-night clouds.
Did some more blogging catch-up, and then Carer Benjamin returned for his last visit. During which, he took this shot with the Kodak, of the scratches & bruises on the left leg 0 which must have been acquired, Thursday, on the last of the 
falls, I’d not noticed, but sharp-eyed Benjamin did.
.
He also noticed that the leg was swelling up, compared to the state of the right one. One battered body, one distorted brain,
hearing problems, seeing problems, money running out at a fast rate, 
, 
problems; 
bleeding at the point of entry of the catheter tube. 
is visiting much more often lately, and the previously nocturnal only , is now apparently on a new 24/7 roster. My 
are scarily getting more frequent… the mind seems to just lose blocks of time altogether, and forever. None have ever come back to me, and those hours or minutes remain a mystery? Maybe this 
is making things worse?
Just thought I’d mention them. To help whippersnappers who just may read this, to know what they can expect. So, keep on with the cannabis; it helps. (Guilt developing!)
I bedded down in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly sickening beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue collecting recliner. But refused to let me sleep, even gave me a few sharp awakenings. I got up a few times, and wobblingly carried and 
to the kitchen to take some photos of the night skies
Sunset, taken earlier.
Blissful!
Later it looked like I had a monster on the horison.
A long time later, the monster was still there?
Back to try to sleep again, and I realised how little had been passed urine-wise, into the night pouch.
Took a photo with the flash on…
.
A perfect colour though. Bet it will have darkened by morning.
Not sure when I managed to get to sleep. But recall that had me wakened twice, all the other jerking-awakes were due to 
.
May Your Fortunes and Festivities Ferment with Good Food too!
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Excellent shade of urine this morning. A fuller bag as well!
Another bad one is above
Got the waste bags sorted from the bins
The Porcelain Throne was visited.
Then I started the 
.
as per usual. I tried the Sudocrem as the Germoloid and Germolene had very little left in each tube. And not much chance of getting any more. But it is not effective, really. It went on 
, then painfully onto 
. I didn’t get any olive oil for the ears either, so used what drop I had left sparingly, and this was not good, as my hearing was so much worse than usual.
Some now water papules coming up on the left leg
You can see the fluid building up near the ankle bone.
and Spray was applied
Made a brew of Thompson Gold tea.
after an hour or so, it accepted my complaint.
I sent these photos in. They said someone would contact you, but I’ve heard nothing from them, yet. 
The form to fill in, well, a part of it.
The driver took the bags through to the kitchen for me.
Some cleaners put away
Panini rolls; went into the freezer, and I took out a loaf of wholemeal to defrost. The desserts, Rustlers and soy balls went in the fridge, and the bananas were on the shelf.
Took this later shot of the puffer clouds.
and the Landline Flashed. I was tempted to leave it, but, rightly as it happens, I had an idea (it was right, too! From my EQ) 
it might be Sister Jane, so I rose up and answered the telephone. I was not fully compos mentis, but we had a good chin-wagging session. Which, confused and tired as I felt, I did enjoy. Jane is going in for her Glaucoma operation on Wednesday. I wonder if I could get there to show her support? If I remember, I’ll ask the Carer in the morning to see if the 
people can fit me in for a ride to the EENT? I’d love to get to show her some attention. I’ll do that! I felt a smidge better after nattering and listening to Jane. ♥
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Blood in the night pouch.
Straight down on the bottom field
To the right, a smidgeon…
Then into the maze of houses opposite.
Oh, good colour this time on emptying.
I got my dressing gown on, emptied the part full 
day bag, grabbed the 3-wheeler walker trolley, and set off down to the lobby. 
– 
Food seasonings! Which were used later in the making of, well, potato & veg soup, I suppose. Then, I tried to catch the end of a film #I was watching when Amazon emailed me to lie about the delivery being done.
1978: Terrible acting, scenery, and special effects…
Flavour rating: 9.2/10.
Heckithump! Blood in the urine again!
Signs of much nocturnal nibbling having taken place were found on and around the waste bin at the side of the chair. Ahem!
A smidge dark, traces of some blood in there? 
A right red mark in there, and all the hairs had disappeared???
Was dried off with paper towels.
All looked well with the contraption.
dropping the ear-holes olive oil and spilling much of it on the floor. Got dressed and off to the kitchen to get the kettle on. 
arrived. Got the medications done, but he did not look very well. I felt guilty asking him to help in putting my socks on. Poor lad looked proper poor;y to me. Fingers crossed for him. He a grand chap.
..
I got the pains in Little Inchie, and I knew that the catheter bag must be full and filling the tube with nowhere to go. I couldn’t check it, because it would mean taking off my trousers.
Dropped a mug of tea!
All clean up.
Carer Charly.
Not that it bothered me or got me grinding my teeth, cursing venomously, encouraged self-loathing, nearly making me cry, or spitting blood… 
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CATHY CATHETER…
The Iceland delivery arrived.
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CATHETER.
‘Red sky in the morning – Shepherds Warning!
The pouch fills up quickly.
The new catheter was working well.
Tea and porridge, and I watched some TV for a break from computing.
Getting darker earlier.
By gum, changing the catheter has worked as a real treat.
I came over all tired and weary, just like I did the day before.
I was soon in the land of nod. Zzzz!
-friendly position in the c1966 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner.
who came again. It may have been, and it could likely have been 
. Or, 
. I was so deep in sleep that I could not see much at all cause both eyes had fogged up; I couldn’t hear anything, whoever it was said, and with the ever-present ogre of…
Plaguing me in my current half-conscious state, I fear I recall but nothing of the Carer’s penultimate visit. Whoever it was. I assume I was given the medications. I did not as I remember getting out of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, for the whole visit
Another deep, preciously removing the worries, fears and uncertainty of life. Bless Sweet Morpheus!
I was woken by the door chime. And in came the sweet Carer Sarah. Her mission? To giveth me medicationalisationings, and, and had soon for me, and set about and to the day pouch.
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Rising, things looked okay 
Removing the night bag
One of the emptying sessions
But the flow from the catheter was not getting through to the bag
The blood still flowed from little Inchie.
PHEW!
Boy, it was full!
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Took this to catch the shadow of the flats.
The mist thickened l
Got a pot of porridge out and put it on the counter to remind me next time I make a cuppa, to have it for a late breakie. Hehe!
Took this shot of Chestnut Way.
? 
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.
.
.
I ate most of it. Hahaha!
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Bit of blood in the overnight Catheter pouch.
Caught a seagull launching off of a lamplight.
Down in the elevator, along the link passage through.
Started what turned out to be a bad idea.
Every step was agony. Due to the darned
. I could feel it bleeding, and it
I eventually got over the crest of the hill. I had
Within 10 seconds of my arrival at the surgery, Doctor Vindla came to fetch me into the consulting room. 
.
know that” Thank you.
?
interfering with my memory again?
.
Up to the bus stop. Caught the bus.
Went into Winchester Court and through the link passage into Winwood Court. Not many folks around?
To let them know I was back in situ.
The tiny pouch 
But forgot to go in to check if any painkillers may have been sent electronically from the Doctor to the chemist. But I expect it had not been sent, anyway. I wonder if the Doctors get a bonus for everyone they get to join the DO NOT RESUSCITATE brigade? Hehehe!
Mayhap if they can save on not resuscitating… 
Very nice.
Arrived. Sorry I just can’t remember who it was.
Must have been a reason, I suppose?
to the 
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Fait dollop of wee in the night catheter.
Terrible morning view photo.
The light bulb needed changing.
Ah, that’s better. Thank you.
Carer Richard’s donated minder whiteboard.
Cor, the little day catheter bag filled up quickly.
An hour later, again!
Then the wee-weeing stopped?
Evening meal, not bad.
Followed by a pot of porridge.
Woken by Carer Carole-Anne.