Can life really be so confusing? Baffling, grinding and bemusing? Painful at times, but what the hell… It’d Doreen Dementia I’ve got to quell… The brain is ever battered and bruising, But how to extinguish her? Nobody can tell? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Blood in the night pouch.
I tried so hard to make these photos clear. But, no!
Straight down on the bottom field.
To the right, a smidgeon…
To the left, a little smidgeon.
Then into the maze of houses opposite.
Oh, good colour this time on emptying.
I got an email telling me that the Amazon order had been delivered!
My two boxes & other deliveries for 3 other flats in the block, Consisting of six packages, were left in the ground floor lobby. I got my dressing gown on, emptied the part full day bag, grabbed the 3-wheeler walker trolley, and set off down to the lobby. When I saw the stack of parcels on the table, my heart sank. This is the second time this week that items have been left to be stolen from the lobby area. Last time, I was not in good health, and two ladies helped me up to the flat with the items. This time, I was in better Physical Health. Not necessarily mental health. If I recall, the flats’ destinations were the 4th, 9th and 11th floors.
I got up to the first flat, and no one was in. So I left the parcel near the front door of the apartment. Then up in the elevator to the 4th floor and handed the man his parcels. Up to the 11th, and gave the lady her parcel, then I made my way back to my flat, got inside and hate kettle on…
As you can see above, I started to open my parcels and took out the contents of the split one… Ladies thingies! I got the spy-glass and realised it was for the lady on the 11th floor – I’d misread the label.
I grabbed Wally the 3-Wheeled Walker, exited the flat, and got back down to the 11th floor and apologised for opening it, and handed it to the lady. Who was alright about it.
Back to the flat, and opened what was my delivery. Tsk!
Food seasonings! Which were used later in the making of, well, potato & veg soup, I suppose. Then, I tried to catch the end of a film #I was watching when Amazon emailed me to lie about the delivery being done.
A proper good enjoyable oldie it was too. Peter (overacting) Cushion, Doug McClure – pure take-yourself-out-of-yourself stuff! At The Earths Core 1978: Terrible acting, scenery, and special effects… I Love IT! Shame that the DVD does not have any subtitles. Else I’d have bought a copy. Brilliant entertainment. Go with it to enjoy it! Anyway, thanks to Amazon, I missed it!
I also missed the sunsetting. Humph! Still, I took these later on… of the dank dark night…
I got the veg soup seasoned, simmered and served up.
Flavour rating: 9.2/10.
Emptied the day pouch in readiness for the night pouch to be fitted. But it wasn’t… I forgot all about it.
I woke and had to force myself not to nod off again. The ablutionisationing just had to be done early today. So as to try and get the Sunday blog finished and get through the marathon shower[shaving and shi…, erm Porcelain Throne Sessioning done. get dressed and all the paperwork etc., ready for the trip to the hospital done in time. A challenge? Yes! But for a man of my calibre, brave, sophisticated, on the point of being heroic. Such a challenge is welcome. Yes, a two-hour-plus struggle, yet I relish such things. Indeed, I crave them! Please bear in mind I have not yet taken my medications.
On fumbling my way free of the clutches and crumb-containing aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner…
Signs of much nocturnal nibbling having taken place were found on and around the waste bin at the side of the chair. Ahem!
I tackled the night bag detached.
A smidge dark, traces of some blood in there?
The bag was filling up quickly, but it looked a slightly better colour. I was planning to shower, so I thought I’d get rid of some urine in case it came on again while I was in the shower.
The teggies were done, and I got my feet in the bowl on the floor soaking in Dettol and was about to start shaving… the was suddenly needed. So it was to be – But what a messy affair! Of course, by the time I’d cleaned things up, the water in the bowl had gone cold. No problem, I’ll empty it down the WC and refill it… Did I say No Problem? I dropped the bowl. Had to clean things up again, but I was undaunted. Little did I know what dropsies lay in wait for me later in the day, as well! I got the shaving done with only three little cuts, I reached up to close the shower curtain…
I felt a little discomfort in the armpit… I got the camera to try and get a photo of it… A right red mark in there, and all the hairs had disappeared???
Was dried off with paper towels.
All looked well with the contraption.
I got things medicated, dropping the ear-holes olive oil and spilling much of it on the floor. Got dressed and off to the kitchen to get the kettle on. I knocked the saucepan off of the stove top when I dropped the milk bottle… I have to report that; There’s more to come later… Tsk!
I took a reasonably decent photo of the blue morning view.
arrived. Got the medications done, but he did not look very well. I felt guilty asking him to help in putting my socks on. Poor lad looked proper poor;y to me. Fingers crossed for him. He a grand chap.
I got the paperwork checked, including the times of the lift. Got myself downstairs to wait for the Easy-Lift minibus. Jenny was down there sorting some of her charity work to be collected, bless her cotton socks. Lovely to see her. The van arrived, and the lady got me to the hospital with no bother. Thank you. I’d not taken the camera with me, cause it’s bigger than the new ones and would be awkward to use and keep safe. I got these two photos from the web when I got home.
I got inside and joined the queue for the receptionist. A nice lady greeted me, and I gave her the paperwork, which she checked, and told me someone e would be down to see me shortly. I thanked her and moved into a seat as instructed. Remembered that I’d not got my mask on (Covid), so got it on post-haste. After a minute or two, Mr Mann came to me, checked m name and commanded (I’m not joking), to follow him, which was not easy as he’d got a good rate of speed on him. Into his office, sat down, and I was out and going back to the reception in… I’d estimate five minutes max. He got annoyed when I could not hear what he was saying. But he only asked me three questions anyway. I think they were; how long have you had the catheter on? 8-9 weeks! Have you had a bladder scan? Yes! He asked a third question that I had to guess. Then he said; That’s it then; we’ll see how you go when they take it off. You’ll not see me again! Very nice! Back to the reception area to await the lift home. It was due in about an hour or so. I got the pen and crossword book out and gave it a go for gouty minutes or so. It was hard work reading the clues, but I enjoyed it. Even if I didn’t get many answers, it kept my brain going.
I got the pains in Little Inchie, and I knew that the catheter bag must be full and filling the tube with nowhere to go. I couldn’t check it, because it would mean taking off my trousers. I thought I’d join the queue again to ask if it was possible for me to use the WC to empty the bag. But the kind lady who greeted me came over to me and asked if I was waiting for a lift or do I want her to call anyone. Kind! I explained my unfortunate condition, and she got two… I say two nurses who took me to the closet and emptied the pouch ♥! Not only that, but as I was about to go with them, the Easy Link minibus arrived. The kind lady said you get your bag seen to; I’ll tell the diver what’s happening. She made me feel important. Unlike the Doctor, who knew I was an NHS imposter and had no qualms about looking and talking down to me. The two nurses, by the way, I think, were in the photo from the web. Fourth and sixth from the left. ♥♥♥
The driver, chappie, was patient with me and soon had me back at the flats. I gave him drinkies from the three-wheeled-walker trolley basket.
I met Carer Carol-Anne in the lift. She sorted the meds for me..
Dropped a mug of tea!
All clean up.
SOD ME! AGAIN!
Peed off now!
Started A pan of vegetable stew. Knocked the knife box off of the ledge when taking photos.
AGAIN! Knocked the box off!!!
Great space-related shots? Hehe!
Time for Food!
Oh, no, it isn’t!
Arrived. Very tired and not looking well at all, poor lad. He got the night pouch attached to the , and he gave me some Peptac. I got him a cold drink of spring water to help cool him down. Richard was sweating and had a croaking voice. I fear he may have to rest and see his doctor soon. Fingers crossed! Hope he can get through the day; bless him.
Time for Food!
It started with a can of cheapo Asda vegetable soup and a can of tomatoes. I seasoned it with some BBQ marinade, sea salt & Oxo cubes. I added some peas and potatoes from the slow cooker. Then cooked some potato cubes in the oven until nice and crispy (the ones that Richard rescued as he arrived), crispy hard on the outside, and added them to the saucepan of vegetable delights. It was a struggle getting it prepared, what with the four-pronged walking stick and carrying the night pouch about with me. I did manage one more , spilt some soup on the kitchen floor while dishing it up.
Not that it bothered me or got me grinding my teeth, cursing venomously, encouraged self-loathing, nearly making me cry, or spitting blood…
Then, the feasting started! Somehow or other, I ate the entire bowlful, and it was a large bowlful. I enjoyed it and even went into the kitchen afterwards to wash the dishes and check if anything had been missed in my previous cleaning up. All went well… apart from I’d left the cold tap running, the hob heat on and dropped and broke the sauce pot washing up. ARGH! An irritated, self-annoyed Inchie could then not get off to sleep… well, not for ages, anyway. Grrr!
A quickie one here. Ran out of time, patients, and concentration and had so many calls and visits, but not the ones I wanted.
CATHY CATHETER… Behaved kindly enough to me today.
Early morning photographicalisations…
Carer Kara called. Meds given. Tea. Email from Iceland Got onto starting this blog. Calls (three) from the Doctor’s surgery about BP taking. Lack of INR Blood Tests for three weeks? I mentioned my problems getting to the surgery.
Cathy Catheter started causing problems, and I lost an hour trying to get the tube into a less painful position.
Porcelain Throne activities are very messy. More time is lost cleaning up after every visit.
Burnt the stew and lost another hour-plus cleaning and salvaging the saucepan and stovetop. Hot tap left running again!
I’ve really no idea what took place for the next five hours – Not the foggiest. A mind-blank of mega proportions until the evening’s wonderful sunset, and I sort of ‘found myself’ leaning out of the kitchen window, taking this shot of the view on offer.
Ni idea which carers called… I think Carer Joseph and Adele later. But am not sure, as a second blank spell hit me.
I woke Saturday morning at a loss memory-wise of Friday.
Found these late-evening photos.
The Iceland delivery arrived.
Some of the scribbles on the memory notepad were discernable. Although confusing all the same: Burnt stew… Made meal with night catheter and stick – not easy, had a few acci’s (Accifauxpas?). Stubbed toe – Concentration crap. Made meal at 02:45hrs. (but I still took this photo of it)
Back on the Computer. CorelDrawing
Too tired to continue. As I closed things down, I found a mega…
That I’d done earlier, not that I could remember doing it. For the fourth week running, I’d ordered another load from the same place. But really outdid myself this time…
Burke! Idiot, Tit-Head, Dolt, Pillock...! Although Dementia Doreen may have played a part in this error?
The last entries on the notepad were a few naughty words of self-hatred and disgust (Well, a line and a half, actually). And sorry, self-pitying phrase of despair. I’ll not repeat it; it depressed me.
Made worse by the promised help with the medical confusion, and to make sure that this double-ordering did not happen again, did not happen. No one called to go through the hospital misunderstandings, instruction etc, either. Not that I was genuinely expecting anyone to come. Had someone arrived, this cock-up with the food would not have happened. Or would it?
Good morning! Although it was not a great start to the day. There followed some great and careful help from the District Nurses. But the morning Carer did not show up. Ups and downs throughout the day. Betterer than yesterday. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
So far behind, I’ll have to just do the few that I photo’d. And miraculously found memories from the chronically badly scrawled notepad.
A blown bag of out-of-date chips burst open. I enjoyed cleaning them up.
‘Red sky in the morning – Shepherds Warning!
The pouch fills up quickly.
0845hrs: No Morning Carer Yet. Blogging.
09:15hrs: No Morning Carer Yet.
Decided to take the antibiotic tablet, just in case they do not come at all. (They didn’t) The Doctor said yesterday it is important to take them apart in equal time periods, morning &evening.
District Nurses came to replace the Catheter. I mentioned that no carer had called yet to give me the medications. I was assured that they will be coming. With it already being 11:00hrs, I was not exactly confident about this. They did a good job with the painful (to me) job of extracting and inserting the new tubing and catheter. Working well straight away. Thanked them and insisted on them taking some treats by way of a thank you. Off they went, and I returned to the slow frustrating job of working on this Thursday’s IT.
The new catheter was working well.
11:45hrs: No Morning Carer Yet. Blogging..
Carer Kara arrived later. I thought she had been up to the neck in it and was coming late from the early call, but no. She was not late. This was her mid-morning call. I explained about the antibiotics and my having taken them to keep the important timing right.
Kara gave me all the other medication that should have been issued earlier. We had a little natter as she checked the taps and the stove and took the waste bags with her as she departed.
Tea and porridge, and I watched some TV for a break from computing.
Getting darker earlier.
By gum, changing the catheter has worked as a real treat. Thanks to the two nurses. They sent two because they didn’t believe last week’s crew when they told them how tiddly Little Inchie really was. They do now!
I came over all tired and weary, just like I did the day before. I was so far behind with everything, but I had to just leave it and get my head down. I was suddenly shattered!
I was soon in the land of nod. Zzzz!
But not for long, for I felt the weight of the catheter pouch as I moved into a more -friendly position in the c1966 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. I’m glad I did, cause as you can see above, the new catheter was flowing smoothly and persistently… which is good! There were only the very faintest signs of any blood, as well.
I think it was who came again. It may have been, and it could likely have been . Or, . I was so deep in sleep that I could not see much at all cause both eyes had fogged up; I couldn’t hear anything, whoever it was said, and with the ever-present ogre of…
Plaguing me in my current half-conscious state, I fear I recall but nothing of the Carer’s penultimate visit. Whoever it was. I assume I was given the medications. I did not as I remember getting out of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, for the whole visit. In fact, did it happen? Was I dreaming? Was someone toying with me in my ultra-sleep mode? Was I drunk – I don’t think I drank any alcohol. Unless it was in an out-of-body experience in my somniferous early evening temporary hibernation with Sweet Morpheus? Fair enough, I had been nibbling; the proof of that was the two four-pack biscuit wrappers I found crammed up my sleeve later. More of the nocturnal somnambulistic activities I seem to involuntarily enjoy?
I was struggling to stay awake throughout the gal’s visit. And was soon back in the dreamland within seconds of the Carer leaving. I was totally done for, tired, drained, and shot! To make things worse, I was aware that with all the visitors, and my lackadaisicalness, I’d not even started the blog off yet! I foolishly allowed myself to imagine I’d get up later and give it a go. It didn’t happen! I wasn’t feeling good at all.
I was not hearing, seeing, or understanding what was going on. And this is the second day of these experiences. I look back now, and a dreadful fear of not coping with Doreen and the ailments, and thus going into a home, scares the shit out of me!
Another deep, preciously removing the worries, fears and uncertainty of life. Bless Sweet Morpheus!
Shortly, and far too quickly, I was woken by the door chime. And in came the sweet Carer Sarah. Her mission? To giveth me medicationalisationings, and, and had soon for me, and set about and to the day pouch. On this rude awakening, thankfully, I was nowhere as out of it as I was on the earlier visit. I was definitely more responsive after I got over the shock of getting up too quickly. The eyes & hearing are still bad, though.
Sarah got the night bag fitted on. She emptied and washed the bucket from emptying the day catheter. Did the medicationings, and we had a little chat. She read some of the dates on the food in the fridge for me too. Bade her farewell at the door, and I locked it.
Then I decided to make a meal. Huh! One-handed, with the stick and night bag tagging along. It was a mistake. The meal was fine, but the mess I got into making it left me bruised and a mess all over the kitchen!
Eating away, enjoying the flavour, I dunked one of the cobs several times. Getting the second one, I broke it open… the greeny-yellow mould spewed out, and it fell with a splonk into the dish, tomatoes and ersatz franks! That was the end of the meal!
SATURDAY 4th FEBRUARY 2023
ANOTHER HORRENDOUSLY TIME-CONSUMING DAY.
A SPARSE PATCHY EFFORT TODAY FROM INCHIE, SORRY.
The catheter contents were locking mighty colour!
Up, Porcelain Throne, wash, and got a mug of tea and the last pot of porridge. Sob!
Care Sarah arrived, and she helped me clean up the spillage I’d just made when the blown bag of seasoned chips blew up! Hehe!. Pouch checked. Little natter.
Hours of blogging until the almost-expected weariness and mega-tiredness arrived. After that, I was drained and not good at anything. (I seem to remember my Dad telling me that?).
Burnt the stew that I was making. Left the kitchen hot tap running. When it warmed up in the PM, I left the damned hot water running in the wet room! Not a good day, and it got even worserer!
Sinking towards frustrated depression here! I went to put the photo’s on this blog, and can it be? They were not there on the SD card.
Then, for three days now, the mind went into muddled mode. Honestly, worrying this is. As I recall, I was washing the pots for the eventual meal I’d made for the second time…
Which wasn’t too bad. I found myself in the spare room, picking through my socks and seemingly sorting them? I carried on separating the short ones from the long ones for ages? It was like it wasn’t me, but a film I was watching? It has to be said Doreen Dementia is winning here! How do I explain this to the nurse next Tuesday; when she does the follow-up interview? Should I mention this or the following farce to her at all?
I actually left the junk room, and I started to make another meal!!! Until waking up on Sunday morning, everything was a blur. Ni idea who or if a Carer came, but the night catheter was comfortable, so I~ think either Sarah or Kara may have tended to it.
Total mayhem-problems with the . I’ll try to explain what they were chronologically. But with so much and farcical situations arising, I did little else all day. Trying to sort out getting the flow to the bag again… and even worse problems. As I hope you will read about; I need some good luck through the ether to me, so I can cope with them a little easier and not get frustrated so much. Not many memory notes on the pad. It all happened so persistently.
I woke feeling myself for the first time in months, peeing away merrily… I thought I was dreaming at first, but no!
The blood and urine mix was all over my clothes, body, and the £300 second-hand shop bought nine years ago, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner.
The flow was so vicious, that the Protection Pants were soaked, and legs, socks, feet and slippers were covered in blood. I got the night catheter off first; no point in cleaning up and making more mess straight away… Huh!
Aha! I’ve found some scribbled notes – hard to read, but I can use them for updating here and there. Seems I got up at 03:00hrs. And took off the night pouch and visited the , the first of several in the morning. The first three were practically normal evacuations; the next three were sticky, phooey and messy!
Sorted out the mess of the pouches and got new Protection Pants on. I just had a smashing phone call from the Lovely Lisa-Petal ♥ and Billum 👍 in the US of A! I fear I was a little not up to much when the call came in, and I had great difficulty in hearing everything that the Sweetheart said. Damn it, we lost the signal. But it was fantastic to get the call. Lisa & Billum are my Cyber-friends and are much loved.
The needed attention all the time.
Rising, things looked okay
Removing the night bag
One of the emptying sessions
Carer Richard arrived. The bag problems were all I had to show interest in. I was a smidge depressed – but got to the stage of Dracula Depression later. The constant changes in the bag’s performance riled me. Richard got the medications done and checked in the right leg bag.
Carer Sarah was the next visitor. Got the medications sorted. Then the great cock-up with the Catheter Bag!
I emptied the blood again…
But the flow from the catheter was not getting through to the bag
The blood still flowed from little Inchie. But, nowhere near as bad. Unfortunately, my trying to get the tube further into the Little Inchie, it irritated the Fungal Lesion. Added to my having to bend and stretched so much to clean things up, the Mystery Stabbing Pain in the Ribs returned.
A damned good job. I’ve got a good supply of Depends in stock.
The Catheter pouch suddenly filled up in fifth gear time!
Boy, it was full!
Emptying the bag was difficult, with all the blood clots.
Carer Kara arrived. I told her of my problems. She wanted to know if I wanted the night bag fitting or not. I farted about and dithered on whether to. As I saw it, with little blood and urine going into the day bag again, it should be okay; with my doing the blog until the early hours, it won’t matter about missing sleep. I’ve missed that much already. (Sarcasm Detected)
Going to get this posted off and get some sleep if I can.
I’D LIKE TO THANK A FEW PEOPLE FOR THEIR HELP TODAY No particular order, but I feel it right to mention them and their help. Which is in the brief diary below. I thank you! Carer Richard, Carer Sam, Carer Charly, Carer Jozeph. Lisa, from the Rehab & Falls Team. Oberstgrüppenfuhreress, Warden and Prima Ballerina, Warden Deana. Meridian’s Tina. The Engineer who fitted the flood and cooker arms for me. Neighbour Malcolm, he got the keyboard working again for me. Neighbour Jenny, a caring lady, it was she who donated the painkillers. And the Ocado driver for taking the food through to the kitchen for me.
And anyone I may have missed off the list.
I woke and checked the Catheter bag, which had been emptied about two hours earlier. so not much in it… but there was a fair percentage of blood in the urine again? A bit worrying.
Hours later, and this was all that was in the pouch? I noticed some more clots of blood in there again.
Carer Richard, who sorted the heavy-medication doses for me. Checked the taps and stove. Gave me a minute or two chin-wagging. Carer Sam came to sort the mid-morning medications. Carer Charly in the afternoon.
Took this to catch the shadow of the flats.
The mist thickened later on.
Oberstgrüppenfuhreress, Warden and Prima Ballerina, Warden Deana and an engineer arrived. The chap, with a nice personality, soon had the flood and cooler alarms fitted and had to go to do some others. Thanks, mate.
Got a pot of porridge out and put it on the counter to remind me next time I make a cuppa, to have it for a late breakie. Hehe!
Took this shot of Chestnut Way.
Started getting the blog updated, and… What didn’t go wrong? The Internet went down. Little Inchies fungal lesion started pouring with blood! Took me ages to get it stopped and medicated. Then it must have been an hour to clean the wet room!. I thought, being as I was in there, I’d get the ablutions done… I then needed the Porcelain Throne… the door was open, so I heard the landline phone ringing in the other room… No way I could get to it in time… why? I’ll tell you… I was in mid-evacuation – tried to rush things best I could… Got a bit too keen on wiping the rear end… And caught Little Inchy, started him bleeding again! Wrapped toilet paper around him and was about to try and get to the phone in time, and realised the Catheter had filled up, had to empty it. The phone stopped ringing, of course, before I’d even got to the doorway. More attention to Little Inchie is needed. Cleaned up the rear end from the attempted emergency evacuation. And got the toothbrush into action. The broken tooth started bleeding, and ♫Oh, Susana♫ chimed from the front door. I assumed it was a carer, so just closed the wet room door… But it chimed again – I struggled into the dressing gown and got to the front door, opened it, and not a soul in sight – I was too late! What next is going to go wrong, I thought. I’ll tell yer!
I cut myself shaving and dropped my spectacles; they now have an adornment of sellotape on the frame joint. Then the expensive carbolic soap I was using shot out of my wet fingers and sploshed into the WC without touching the sides! I can’t believe what’s happening here, thought I – surely it can’t continue like? It’s madness! But it did! I tried to keep calm and carefully started the Hemerine medicationalisationings. Grumblegrobbledamn! The landline rang again, and I hastened to answer it; after all, it may have been about the cataract or Glaucoma operation… or the Coppice Hospital Brain scans… or the DVT vein-bleeding… or about the missing painkillers… or the missing ? But, No! It was a bloody scam call, pretending they were from Amazon, telling me my Prime Benefits had been Cancelled – Grrr! Back to the wet room, fumingly! On with the medicationings. Got sorted and dressed, and realised the phoo and ablutions, with all the farcicalisations and interruptions, had taken me over two hours, and that was without having a shower!
I exited the torture room and went to make a brew and eat the porridge.