Carer Rashid

Inchie Today: Wednesday 27th May 2026 – Miracles!

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Much better start, Smug Mode Adopted!
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A Wednesday of Miracles… TWO!
First, the new hearing aids were delivered!
Working fine, and they sent some batteries too!
Carer Mizra had to cut one of the tubes and refit it for me. Did a grand job. I wish I could have him more often; he really is such a help. He guides rather than bullies. The same with Carer Ejaz, who helps so much as well.
The second one was when the Carer Arrived… with a box of Oxicodone painkillers with him! Grrreat!
I assume the three missed calls and voice message that followed were from the Doctor or receptionist. But the voice message didn’t record, so it was less of a surprise when it showed up at long last. I’d been emailing asking for some of the good painkillers; 3 times last week, after running out, and no Codiene was left either. A dear friend gave me some of the chemist-bought Cocodamol that helped me cope. Bless-Her-Caring-Cotton-Socks ❤️.
That pulled me through until this morning.
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Arose this morning to see a creamy goo stuck in different places of the night, in the Catheter tubing. And not getting through to the nocturnal bag? This did scare me a bit. The thought of urine backflow entering the bladder and kidneys was enough to set off a semi-panic. Especially if the pains kicked off, and I had no painkillers but the donated ones. The mere memory of the agony I had to go through the last three times almost forced me to ring the district nurses there and then.
But I managed to calm down and concentrate on the problem. I hobbled to the wet room and took off the bag. Made a note of the colour and amount for the Health Check record, and opened the release tap over the WC.
I was impassive about things, mainly because the pain had not begun, so there was still hope. The contents in clumps in the tube reminded me of long ago, when I could… but I’ll not go into that any further. But I did remember dreaming of Griselda last night; I often do this when I sleep in bed and do not fall asleep on the couch. A 1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, catheter-tube-trapping recliner.
The BP was fairish. A bit high. The Oximeter reveals Heart Rate, mine is a little high, and blood oxygen, which was okay. The thermometer reading has been rising steadily; this must be due to warmer weather. Not that I can sense it, I’ve got problems with the cold, not heat.
Some beautiful but sparse clouds this morning.
And the shadows cast as I took this shot from the balcony enhanced an already wonderful photograph. Showing the must-missed Tree Copse I used to walk through, every day at one time. But no longer, now the brain and body are on the wane. Sad!
The Carer took this shot with a Kodak Tim Two camera. Showing injuries, too deep coloured urine in the Catheter bag.
The difference in the shapes and sizes of my legs. The right foot has warping toes and different amounts of swelling on each foot. Not to mention the different shapes and degrees of colouring of the   patterns.
A later snap, taken from the kitchenette window. A rare moment of the sun going in.
AS I was closing the window,
“Oh, Susanna rang out from the door, I poodled to open it.
The aforementioned delivery via Royal Post. Yes, it was the arrival of the new hearing aids. A different sort of plastic from the old ones.

They also added several packs of suitable batteries, for free! Now you see one of the miracle parts of the day. Something got sorted – done!

On Carer Ejaz’s evening call, I took one of the precious Shortec Oxycodone painkilling capsules that I’d been begging the Doctor for for over a week when I ran out of them. And had a Catheter Flowback agony, and a sore Little Inchie after so many failed attempts to get the tube back in the poor little thing. Hehe!

Are things looking up for the disabled, bald, partially blind, fractured left knee, Arthritic, Cramp-suffering, Trotsky Terence suffering, TBI-suffering, cataract & glaucoma attention waiting, Seizures & Peripheral Neuropathy bearing, Diabetic Kidney Disease, Lymphorrhoea, Unguis Incarnates toenails, Blocked-Catheter-Agony, Tumble-taking tumbles, Premorbid Cognitive Impairment, mangled memories, Fungal Lesions suffering, Inchie?

I think there is a minute possibility that his luck may be changing… or mahap getting less severe?
Now, how was that, a near positive response!.

Then I gave up on the blog. I went to my NHS site to order some Anusol and more Oxycodone, and there I saw I had a new message in my inbox. So I manoeuvred by way of finding the list of messages, and this is the new message I’d got waiting for my attention. I tried to find my Hospitalisationings on the site, but went around in circles, ending up back where I started in the first place. I gave up. Even Carer Ejaz has trouble finding things on here.

On one of Carer Mizra’s calls, he emptied the fridge and gave it a good clean up, which was appreciated.
He also had to remove some products because they were out of date.
He also packed the meals in order, longest date at the top, very helpful that was. He also read the cooking times on the potatoes and veg, and I planned a complicated meal to get cooked at the same time, ot two types of potatoes, 2 types of mushrooms, carrots, water chestnuts, & and planned, then prepped my meal, with help from Carer Mizra. Back on the computer, I got carried away and made many mistakes, which I corrected when updating on Thursday late morning. (I think) 🤔
 Of to the kitchen and managed to concentrate, it was that or fall asleep, Haha, and somehow managed to cope with using the hotplate, slow cooker with mushrooms & carrots in, and the potatoes done in the oven. The Spanish ones are in for 15 minutes, then I added the sliced battered spuds for another 15 minutes. Got tomatoes out for slicing when the meal is cooked. Carer Mizra wrote down the timing on the pack sleeve three hours ago. I added a few drops of Teriyaki sauce to most of the ingredients, and it turned out good! (Did I say that?)  While doing the washing up, I realised why I’d used the wrong sauce: I didn’t have any Teriyaki left. Taking the edge off of my enjoyment. I’ll do an Iceland order for next week, and get some in.
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GREAT DAY for Horis & Me!
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FRIDAY TEATIME
New Computer Gone Apeshit!
I cannot save anything to the external drives at all, which is where everything is, of course.
With the bother with the bank, and Deana unable to come back to see if she can manage to. I seem to be able to do emails, but none are coming in, so I don’t know.
I’ve done some graphics, but I cannot access them.
I think I’ve had enough!
Just updated this blog, but can’t do a new one.
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Inchie: Tuesday 19th May 2026 – A fall & A Flood

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The Ode explains my early-morning kerfuffle.
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We had not had time to properly clean the wet room. But my attention was on the flaming new computer mysteries with Corel Draw, the new complicated Note app, and my seemingly new to me (I’m fibbing, done it months now, even on the old keyboard) habit of hitting the wrong combinations of keys, and getting up so many baffling options to choose if I wish to continue using programs I’ve never heard of.
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Carer Rashid, then Dilan, then Mizra, then Carer Ejaz called today. Damned busy, so much that this is going to be another rushed, no-time-to-do-properly, blog.
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The second call was to Dilan. Who got the laundry started and called Jenny to let her know. Then I asked him and explained what I’d like done to finish the wet room cleaning.
He did a great job!
Hard to see the depth of or even the water…
You can see how it soaked the box of Dettol.
Later, Carer Dilan tackled it after taking the laundry down to the laundry and putting it in the washer. 
Cleaned up the stuff I’d dropped in the corner.
And behind the pipework.
Mats down, much betterer!
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Lovely view this afternoon.
I discovered a reason for my making so many errors of the computer, CorelDraw, MS Word, Excel and the blog.
I’d been looking at the ‘Cool’ battery clock calendar! This time, at a quarter to one PM, I had not updated the clock’s date for two days! Naturally, for me anyway, I swore at myself, added some locally used curses and insults, spat, and sulked for quite a while. Went to do what so many folks do, I made a brew of my favourite tea and got some biscuits out to dunk. They didn’t get dunked. I dropped the mug, and the handle came off. Undeterred, I made another brew of Glengettie with it. Feeling rather smug didn’t last long either; a hairline crack sent the freshly made tea spilling out, then the mug cracked and broke. Sending tea all over the counter, then down the cupboard doors below, decorating my Khagoule as it did so. 
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Two shots from the kitchenette window as I made a third mug of tea, Co-op 99 this time.
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The Carer took these two later.
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I partly made a meal, just some spuds to add to it. I haven’t got any fresh ones, so I opened the last tin.
Then I realised that only Asda, Iceland, Ocado, and Morrisons had rejected my sign-in to place an order. Because it was on the new computer. I half-heartedly tried J Sainsbury’s. And got in! Hopefully I’ll have bread, tomatoes, a few ready-made meals, bikkies, potatoes, veg and mushrooms in the morning.
Hopefully, (I did, but it was a terrible day).
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Inchie Today: Fri/Sat/Sunday 15>17th May 2026.

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FRIDAY
So many upsets and disappointments over the three days. But some sweet pleasantries, and even time to start catching up on this blog, on Sunday afternoon. My depression told me I did not need the memory note pad, as at the time I was so down, I threw them away.
I’m sorry I did that now.
Things will be missed and mixed up, no doubt.
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Morning bush flowers
Wonderful puffer clouds
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I had a terrible experience this morning. I can’t say anymore, yet. I don’t know why I told you. It will take time to sort out, then I can reveal all.
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I had to get up early and start getting things ready for the Audio visit. When Carer Mizra arrived, most things were done, but he had to call a taxi for us because he had arrived too late to take the bus. Glad we did, even though the roadworks took us all over the place, and the cost was close to all the money I had taken with me for two trips there and back. But the taxi driver let me in the front seat, and my legs were no bother, really. Until I got out-of-it. Hahaha! 
Things went fabulously well, to the Clinic, and even better inside. A nice young lady asked how I lost the hearing aids. I waffled on, getting all excited at someone showing such understanding and patience with my long, drawn-out patter. 
Told me I would not have to pay for replacements. Also, I will not have to return to the Clinic to collect them; they will mail them to me. 
She then did a hearing test on each ear and pointed out afterwards that it had been 16 years since I last had new hearing aids. The young lady then made inner ear moulds to get the size and fit right. Then, gave me some hearing aids to take with me, for free! 
Great! Thank You!
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We caught a bus home, not having enough dosh for a taxi. I had, but didn’t realise this until it was too late. One of the sillier points of Arithmaphobia!
I also forgot that I’d taken the camera with me until we had reached the bus stop on Market Street. (I think)
I took these two snaps.
We caught the bus and returned to the flat.
Mizra had to shoot off to his next job.
I dug into the biscuit barrels and made a brew of tea.
I was surprisingly very tired and fell asleep in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner.
Waking up to…
Take these snaps of the
Evening sky.
I was incapable of getting up. The earlier altercation was weighing on my mind, and I had to put up with
Then, kicked in, and all the while I worried over the dispute, lingered.
I made a meal of sorts.
Tasty enough, though.
I fell asleep where I was, Zzzz!
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A little out of sync here, sorry.
THE NEW COMPUTER ARRIVED
The computer man arrived with the new computer setup. Not the bandied about £350 mark, but it was now £850 quid. So tired, I was struggling to keep up with what he was doing and the advice he was giving.
He was patient with me. Nice chap. He spent hours getting it sorted out for me. Even put on the fonts I use. Hepta, Glutton & Aptos Square.
After Adam… Allan? Or Andy had gone, I was too tired to consider setting up the new version of CorelDraw that the lad had installed for me. But hope to get up early Saturday morning and make a start on it.
Thanked and paid him, and off he went, saying he was having a week’s holiday. I was weary beyond belief.
Blowed if I knew how to shut it down! 
Where there was one one-off button on the front of the old computer, I could feel four… but which one to press was my dilemma. I had to use Google to find out where the Windows 11 start button was.
By nearly midnight, I found out where it was.
I thought before I use it, I’d take a snip of it and save it.
But could I find the now-removed Snip icon from the bottom tray, along with everything else I had on, when it was transferred from W10 to the W11 computer? No!
Back to search Google. Without any luck, I was not concentrating well and was so tired.
So I got my head down around 0300hrs.
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SATURDAY
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Up at 05:10hrs. A Day in Which I Did Nothing: Other than try to learn and get the new computer, CorelDraw, MS Word, Excel, the Snip-app, change it to the right date and time, and how to turn it on to work. I’d seen Andy put the three fonts on. They were on XL, not on Word, CorelDraw, MS Word, or CorelDraw.
I changed tack and looked up how to open the Snip app. The primary keyboard shortcut to open the Snipping Tool overlay in Windows 11 is: Windows Logo Key + Shift + S.
Well, that was the only real success I had with the computer over the next nine hours!
The new external hard drive was flashing for nine hours. I sort of hoped it might be sorting out the new fonts and getting them onto the programmes I needed. Then I uploaded some of the fonts I wanted, and the machine told me they were already installed. But not available anywhere but in Excel. And that has lost my beloved Origano font, and there are now… wait for it… 869 fonts on my system! Note that later, as you can see, the Origano font reappeared on WordPress while I was doing this part, late on Sunday!
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The longest taking and most frustrating programme was CorelDraw. So many things had changed in the 26th version. It took me until Sunday night to work out how to move the… 
SHIT!
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SATURDAY
All the day tabs I’ve made on CorelDraw have turned into gobbledigook! And Windows 11 does not have a calendar with it! I thought of buying a monthly calendar from Amazon, but it won’t let me in on this device, and wants a Google 6-digit validation number. How? No email came in on email or mobile?

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I so regret getting this computer; I could not afford it. 
Andy is away on holiday for a week, so I can’t get any help with the computer problems.

Sorry, I haven’t been calling, I spent ages trying to sort the computer out on my own. Fed-up!

I am so depressed!
See how the lettering has gone overnight.
I’ve about had enough.

AM shot
Motheaten curtains

Beatiful puffer clouds
Carers desk

So much has gone wrong…
I’m just coping, but for how long?
Will I ever get back on song?
I feel I don’t belong…
Life is an emotional dingdong,
Still, Prosper & live-long!
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Got a message from My Angel. The calendar is still there; I just didn’t click the arrow, thinking it would open as it used to with one click. 
I’m getting worse… Hehehe!
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Gorgeous Taste!
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The week, meaning the good Carers will have scarce visits. I am back with a Carer who ignored two of my shouts for help on my last two tumbles. Grunts rather than talks, and gets sharp with me when I can’t understand what he is saying. 
I will see how it goes, but if there are any more let-downs, I shall ask the Carer Company boss to see if he can be replaced as one of my Carers. Explain my fears to her. I hate the thought of doing this, but I’ll see if Care skills and understanding improve.
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Not up to much.
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Inchie Today: Thursday 7th May 2026

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Woke at 0635hrs. Took off the night Catheter bag, noting my aches and pains were minimal.
Then the summoning from the innards to get to the wet room and Porcelain Throne with all the alacrity I could muster arrived. So I did!
The first sitting proved to be a total failure; apart from escaping wind with each effort to start the evacuation, nothing else moved. Being as I was in the wetroom, I had a stand-up wash, did the teggies and had a shave. Just the one knick. And was much less painful.

I was certain that Constipation Conrad had me in his grip. I had the same thing three times over the next half-hour. I was telling the Carer about it and decided to take a Senna tablet to help move things along. Another ache in the stomach developed; I was sure it was Constipation Conrad, solidifying my waste in my rectal ampulla. I made my tea & breakfast. Feeling smug at taking the Senna, I bade the Carer farewell.
Minutes later, I felt the same rear-end and stomach feelings that I had before. Knowing full well that Senna tablets could not be affecting things so soon, I ambled to the wet room. Very luckily, I took off my dressing gown first.
But fear not, no floor, wall or furniture splashed!
It was me and the porcelain that coped with the liquid splash-backs. I made a mess on the floor, but that was only from bits of the one-and-a-half toilet rolls I used to clean myself up. I asked the Carer to Hoover the bits from the mats up for me. Found much later on my next trip to the Throne, they were still there. Maybe he didn’t understand my request or thought it wasn’t his job. Not earth-shattering. I managed to do it safely.

The computer had to be restarted twice more today. Restarting it took three tries each time.
Fed-upperness dawned.

I think the flowering shrubs around the flats are so beautiful. The Nurse who came later thought they might be called Spirea? I certainly have no idea. Being born into brickwork, a massive London Line railway viaduct, not a garden in sight. Outside loos and coalhouses. A tin bath hanging on the soot-covered brick viaduct wall didn’t help my education or understanding of plants. But I love these.

Two medics, one a nurse, came in the afternoon to give me my Covid shot. Nice couple.

The clouds looked even prettier to me today.
Now, we did have clouds in my young days in the bricks, railway viaducts and high-rise station. The cobblestoned streets were for the horses’ safety on the ice.
But our views of the sky from Brookfield Place, a terrace of six British Railway 2-up-two down houses, were limited. The height of the viaduct, much higher than the houses, limited the view.
I keep getting flashbacks. I can’t say I was happy back then… but I just accepted that that was how things were. Like scrounging food or 2/- from a neighbour for Mam. Having no TV. I was amazed when I saw that the next-door neighbours had not only a TV but also a gramophone, a telephone, a refrigerator, and a hot-water geyser.
Although I’m certainly not happy with life today.

Catching this snap brought to mind One Man & His Dog, although I had to look up where I’d heard of it before. Oh, yes… It was a BBC programme series about a Shepherd and his dog and Sheepdog trial. 1977, I think. 
There goes another flashback!

A fellow blogger told me that Pluto TV were showing the original Mission Impossible series on TV. I looked at the channels available on Virgin, getting all excited about watching them again. But Pluto was not on the list. I almost cried! Hahaha!

I managed a couple of teatime shots of the sky, clouds, and sun. I’ve never known the sun to be hidden so quickly by the clouds. The darkness lightened a little later?
Flashback due…
Reverend Salmon, 1956ish. Telling our Boys’ Brigade Company that when the Lord returns, the world will go dark, yet the sun will shine. Now, did I dream this? Where did it come from? How the Hell could I remember it if it did happen? How come I’ve never thought about it before?
And another thing: I forgot to publish the blog today. I emailed a request for the Doctor and sent it to the District Nurses! I lost my reading glasses, can opener, TV remote and forgot about the Doctor’s appointment. That is, of course, up to now, plenty of time for me to make more .

Then I found I’d made another cock-up. I came across the meal snap from last night and feel I didn’t put it on the blog for yesterday… or did I? I’ll check later.

Waiting for the same last Carer to arrive. Hard work. 
Makes me nervous, actually. And the company have made this Carer my regular one.
My bad, someone else’s good.

The meal, prepared before his arrival, was potato and vegetable soup with extra spuds, seasoned with a drop of teriyaki sauce. Two bread rolls for dipping.

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Inchie Today: Wednesday 6th May 2026

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06:25hrs: I clambered out of the second-hand Charity shop and bought a £300 broken-down, tube-crunching, dried blood-covered, grotty, dirty, creaking, not working, falling-to-pieces recliner.
Removed the night pouch, passed an enormously loud and long passage of wind from my rear-end, and made my way to the Porcelain Throne. I had four visits today, all the same Trotsky Terence style.
Sorted the waste bins into one large bag, and hastened back to the Porcelain Throne with a little worrying if I’d make it in time… only just!
Then did my teggies, as the need for a mug of tea arose. Into the kitchenette, got the kettle on the boil, and made a drink. A Glengettie and Tetley half-cup bags. Nice and strong. Just a splash of full cream milk, and I enjoyed drinking it while I sat there, basking in the few lingering thoughts that were available, and took a snap of the balcony. No threatening sunshine this morning, so I could open the curtains a bit.
A third Throne-Calling had me back in the wet-room on the WC. A little messier this time.
The Carer arrived. Issued the medications. Asked if I wanted a drink of anything to eat, I asked for some cornflakes, explaining I now have a morning nibble. Flakes then bikkies alternate days. I would not risk asking him to make a brew after yesterday’s effort. He got on his mobile. 
Shown him where the flakes and milk were, asking him not to put too much milk in the bowl. He drowned the few cornflakes completely. Soggy, inedible. I took a snap of underneath the Carer’s desk. 
Later, I took snaps of the wonderful-looking clouds.
The sunshine is making its way over the hills behind the flats.

Then, I had two short, I think mini seizures that I was aware of; they seemed very short to me. I was recovering from the first one when a second hit me. I’ve never had that before. Recovering took me yonks. 
I reckon it took me a good half-hour before I was prepared to risk standing up again. And then, I very nearly went over. So glad I thought to use two sticks when I first moved.
I’m not certain about the timings. But it seemed to go by in a flash, from Ejaz leaving to his noon return. 
Embarrassingly, I got confused about the Carer Rota Jenny prepared for me. I think Tuesday was for laundry when it used to be Wednesday. Mizra said it was not Tuesday. And started cleaning up and doing a good job for me. Naturally, I thought it must be Wednesday. Ejaz said no, not him anyway. Then Jenny called to explain. But I didn’t grasp things for ages. There is another call half an hour later, which must be for the laundry. Ah, well, I did feel a fool. 
Well, let’s face it… I am.

A new-to-me Carer arrived. She took the laundry down, and I phoned Jenny to let her know.
Sandithi returned, checked the Catheter, and had a look at the legs.
Then I told her about the brush & dustpan set from Amazon that had been delivered, but the dustpan was broken. Made in China, wished I’d known. She helped me try to reach the Amazon Helpdesk. As with all Oligarch companies, they make it near impossible and keep telling us to go to the supplier. So we tried, and when we got through, a message told us that Amazon had delivered the parcel and that we needed to go to their helpdesk… round and round, not getting anywhere. We were determined not to give up.
We kept trying different routes, but kept ending up at the same place: contact the supplier. Who repeated. Contact the Amazon helpline or customer service about the problem.
Then we gave up!

She then tried to get a slipper on the undbandaged foot, as it looked less swollen. But it wasn’t, it had just lost the bronze colouring of the last week.

I was still not grasping things properly. And went to take some sky photographs through the kitchen windows. Beautiful!
No strong sunshine got through today, not that it bothered me.

I was going into a depression. As Carer Ejaz arrived on his one visit. I tried to explain and apologise for being my usual self. He did his best to cheer me up. Also got me to write an Email and helped me when he saw I was struggling, to Easy Link. To get a list for Friday, the 15th, for the Audio Centre. Bless him. I made a start on a meal and have it early, so the Carer is not here when I’m eating.

What followed is a mystery to me. Why?
I got up in the morning, thinking I’d already done, finished, pasted and emailed the link to this blog.
Now Thursday 7th May, 13:40, and after a morning of smuggly thinking that I was doing so well today, I discovered I had not done this one yet. I think that my verbal denigration, self-loathing, name-calling and naughty language shook the Carer somewhat as he was helping himself to an ice cream cone. But at least he did ask me if I wanted one. Hehe!

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Inchie Today: Wed 29th April 2026

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Another sleepless night. Fretting over the computer not starting, as I explained yesterday, I think.
Today was another day full of angst.
Any new or altered technology is above my head. As if I’m in a deep mine, and facts & figures, understanding, solutions, and graspabilities are floating out of reach in the outer hemisphere. Today was like this, logic, unstandableness, out of reach, unattainable…
With the Carers’ help, snaps were taken. launching hassles, wobbles, shakes & dizzies… at will.
His most successful attempt to be the most bothersome ailment of the day, in months.
held that status, with a close second.
The mysteries of the computer were the most persistent, but somehow or other, I seemed to find a way of keeping going without the foggiest idea how or what I was doing, but I did.
I am currently further behind with blogging, reading & comments on WordPress; I shall have to cut things short to at least catch up a little. 
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The carefully made bed. Hehe!
The thinnest curtains in the land,
Partly held up by an elastic band,
A hole you can put through your hand,
To buy new ones, I’ll need a wand…
The kitchen’s night view is grand.

,
Pretty good in the daytime, too.
Took these over an hour
of the changing sky.
Another cracking meal made.
Sandwiches with no-butter
butter, with sliced tomatoes,
salted, and sliced roast meat.
Carer Ejaz sliced them for me.
I was in a bit of a state, with
, and
giving me a  
bit of a battering tonight.
It’s been a week or so since
they had a go at me. I thought
they had departed. It’s been
such a long time.

Not a good day. Mizra, bless him, rang the chemist to book an appointment for the Covid jab.
The computer, CorelDraw. With me managing to arrange two appointments for the same time. Covid Jab at the chemist, and the Doctor’s appointment to see the plebotomist, along with visits from SS & DD; it was a chaotic and confusing day.
Then, on Thursday, I got a call from the surgery, telling me they had arranged a home visit for me that same Wednesday! Luckily for me, they changed the day to the following Thursday. Now I must remember to ring the chemist tomorrow to cancel and apologise. They are closed on a Saturday, so I must remember.
Naturally, I forgot all about doing it.

My mind is permanently bemused,
It feels as if it’s being abused,
No rest, no logic… aggressed,
Think its being self-anatomised,
Plans, tasks, only being theorised,
Action thought of, not actualised,
Changes; my brain’s unmodernised 
Wants, hopes & needs, dematerialised…
I should really give up, I realised,
Problems get too big-sized,
For years on WordPress, I’ve diarised,
Now two days behind; I cried…
More medical dates, as I aged,
Without Carers, I once managed,
Seems it has to be acknowledged,
My mind struggles; it gets befogged,
Pain, aches, once just twinged,
Catheter agony; I was almost unhinged,
My current state remains undivulged,
Depressed, at best, rather laboured,
Be nice to get my batteries recharged!

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Sorry about how I feel, it may
be a while before I’m back.
So many things to do, catch
up with. Computer, blog, WP
reader, comments, Health
issues, medical appointment.
I think I’m losing it. I mean
my willpower. Hehehe!
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Inchie: Tuesday 28th April 2026 = Computer Assessed, Not Good!

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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Worra Night!
After eating the meal of the day and really enjoying it, washing the pots and visiting the Porcelain Throne, I unfortunately suffered an Accifauxpa and didn’t get there in time. But it could have been worse; it has been many times this year, and it only took me about 15 minutes to clean things up.
I decided sleep was next in line for my attention. I seemed to have fallen asleep quickly… I felt I had when waking at 02:00hrs, again in desperate need of the Porcelain Throne. Not wanting to risk another accident, I fumbled my way out of the bed and hobbled-hastily to the wet room.
A darned close call, I only just made it. Where all the evacuating little, short dollops kept coming from, I don’t know. I cast my mind back as the plop-plops kept coming. I only ate my favourite nosh, cheesy baked potato. I can’t recall such a reaction to these before. To be on the safe side, I got down in the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, Catheter tube trapping, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. To enable a swifter reply in case I need to go again. 
0315:hrs, and I was off again to the Porcelain Throne. I got there more swiftly this time. No accidents.
When I got back to the recliner, I almost felt another follow-through trying to make its way down. I could not get to sleep again now. I sort of just waited for the next evacuation warning to arrive. It came at 06:00hrs. A lot less passed this time. Thankfully, I got there in plenty of time. I pondered, I do that sometimes, you know. Was the cheese in the baked potatoes out of date?
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The day brought forth some challenges, not of the rear-end evacuation type. Attilla the Carer, Rachid did the first two calls, so my low mood was set. The feet and toes seem to adapt much more easily at first. Three toe-stubbings in the first hour put an end to that bit of pleasure. I partially opened the balcony curtains, and when the sun comes out, I have to close them. Bright sun doesn’t suit Cataract Katie or Glaucoma Gladys. This snap came out as it looked. A medical delivery arrived. Concentration was bad when I got on the computer. But I reckon it was less bothersome than yesterday morning. 
I did my best to get the Monday blog finished before the computer man arrives. I pressed on, making mistake after mistake, and I don’t know how long it took, but I got it sent off. Fearing that many cock-ups will be in the finished blog.

I took another shot through the balcony windows, dead excited about this blog, innit? Hahaha!

Carer Rashid did the next call. Nothing much happened; if he can ignore me, I can ignore him. Haha!
After he’d not too soon for me, gone, I got the kettle on.
And the intercom sounded. I was overjoyed!

The Computer Man Cameth
Less than a minute later, Carer Mizra came in behind the computer genius Andy. Who spent a long time asking questions and assessing the state of the computer for me. Mirza conducted the communications. After much effort from Andy, trying to install the two-terabyte external hard drive in the computer. At least I think it was a two-terabyte-sized one. The old computer would not let him transfer anything from the other drive to save space,
Mizra ran out of time, so no time for me to have an assisted shower or to get the laundry done again.

Andy ended up asking if I wanted to use this machine as it is, with slightly more memory, but not a lot, or do you want me to source a suitable used one with Asif, that will cope with CorelDraw, which has very little space left to do much. I said I’d go with his recommendation. The goal was to get a new computer. Fair enough for me. So, be it. Bank Balance considerations, of course. Andy will report the needs back to Asif. Closed the computer down.

As Andy left, I realised that the Catheter pouch was overdue for emptying. So, I emptied it. Haha!

I’m feeling a smidge more hopeful now that Andy’s been and sorted this computer out, and I agree with his decision that a new (second-hand, refurbished) machine would be the best option for me.

The legs, feet, and toes were all looking better when Ejaz took these snaps, which I put together, but not very well. Looks like a mangle of limbs, the way I did this, manipulating. Hehe!

Frank arrived with some treats that Jenny, my angel, had sent for me. I gave him a small box of stuff for the Charity or handing out. Had a little outing with Frank, a lovely couple of neighbours who I am very proud to have as Guardians & friends. Bless them both. So understanding and helpful. X I’d made a meal earlier, I’ll not eat all of it, after the feast from Jenny.


The computer went down, died!
The landline stopped working!
The TV stopped working!
My heart and interest in living went into hold mode. My first actions, apart from panicking, were to try to think about what I was doing or did wrong that caused the catastrophe in the first place. Or had Andy missed something earlier? The chances were that it was my error, a mistake, or that I accidentally caught a dangerous, fatal combination of keys. As I have one in the past. Causing all sorts of problems due to the dying neurotransmitters.
They warned me there was no treatment, saying they cannot mend damaged nerve ends, and it will slowly get worse. They were right.
I thought I’d give it some time before trying to restart the computer, in case it was doing something all technical in the background.
I picked up the landline thingy, put it down, and it made a tone. The mystery deepened.
I had no idea for certain of what I did with the TV to get it back on. Turned it on a few times, and it turned itself off. Got it to stay on, displaying a No. Connected sign. Then pressed the TV button on the remote control, and the TV closed down again. I pointed the remote at the scary, threatening Virgin box, and the red light turned yellow. Then tried again to start the TV, and dropped the control thingy. Got the picker-upper and retrieved it, to see that the TV had come on?
I prayed that getting the computer back would be as easy as that. (It wasn’t and didn’t!) 
In the past, when launching the computer, I’d get a ‘DoS’ message telling me to press ESC for details. This would bring up a dreaded blue screen. Press Enter for options. Another blue screen says to press F1 to start the computer. This has happened each time I’ve opened it for about 3 years or more now. 
But not now… The black screen opens, but pressing ESC does nothing. Also, I could not turn off the computer at the button, had to switch the power off. I kept repeating this pattern, so many times and for so long. Not knowing what else I could try. Each go was met with failure.

No sleep tonight. Mind on the verge of exploding. self-pity, futility, anger… Mostly, the sour, blood-draining effects of Deep, Dark, Dank, Depression Darius.
And to think, I had gone up into a high a few hours ago when the computer was sorted…
That didn’t last long, did it?

Heartlessly, I put the meal in the microwave. It looked okay, smelled okay, but after feartily enjoying Jenny’s treats, combined with the Computer problems, I just couldn’t eat more than a few spoonfuls. I couldn’t get to sleep either. I scribbled down the times I got up to try to restart the computer. 

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Inchie Today: Monday 27th April 2026

/ Inchie / 3 Comments

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0625hrs: I leapt out of the bed, somersaulted over the aged, grotty-looking, c1966-made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner. Landing and started doing some shadow boxing. A 100 press-ups, and got the weights out, 150 double curls, and burst into song, ‘I’ve got the Whole World in My Hands…’ Into the balcony, threw open the windows and burst forth with a few minutes of Tarzan wailing. I suppose you have doubts about the validity & truth of the above? Very wise!
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I took off the Catheter night bag and hobbled into the kitchen to do the pots and safety checks. Then the bins, and off to the wetroom initially for a poop. Trotsky is in charge this time. Messy! I decided to get a stand-up wash, teggies, shave, etc., while I was there. It all went fairly well, just one bad cut shaving.
Got the kettle on and opened the window to take this shot of the morning sky. Realising how much easier the swollen right leg & foot were today. Nice! I brewed the tea and got on the computer. Slowly, my earlier feeling of being overall in a better place faded. When the Carer called, it was Rachid.
I had another of those long active seizures after I’d got rid of the Carer. Don’t really know how long or what I had been up to. But I noticed the Hoover had been moved, and the mug of cold tea had been knocked or dropped onto the floor. It took me an age to recover from this seizure. I felt almost groggy.

The INR agency worker came to take the blood for the DVT Warfarin clinic testing. The result came back at about 17:50 hours: Mon 2, every other day, 1½.

I had long periods of feeling out-of-it, almost like being drunk. Confusion lasted all day.
And as the late afternoon, tea-time came, I honestly was an utter mental wreck.  
The following might be out of sync again, because in the morning, when I read my memory notes, well, it looked nothing like my handwriting, and my memory was only prompted by some of the photographs I’d taken.
I can remember this one. I had two giant potatoes left and fancied my hand at making some of my beloved cheesy potatoes. I couldn’t decide which of the spuds to use, as they both came well battered about.
At least I could tell when I took this snap, of the battery calendar clock.
These shots of the clouds were a pareidolia’s delight.

The INR blood was taken.

I got a phone call that I could not hear any of the words. The Carer was here, so I asked him to take the call. He did, but said not a word to me; he just started looking around the Carer’s desk and on the floor. Then shot off out of the flat.
Returning to sit down and get back on his mobile. 
I never found who or why they called me. Despite asking the Carer. Mysteriousnesses?

I got the potato into the oven and got on with the blogging. It was hard work, as per usual, with snaffles and Concentration Konrad not helping in the slightest. Carer style.
Taking this photo of the sky was when the ultra-drunken feeling and sensation deepened, along with genuine confusion.

The joy of seeing Caring Carer Ejaz make his only call of the day really perked me up. I felt much more like myself. Someone who cares, speaks, doesn’t grunt and ignores me when I say or ask for anything to be done or whatever. He did a full-body check, asked how the legs felt, and asked if I wanted a brew and some bikkies. Phorpain Gelled my painful Shaling Shoulder Shirely, rubbing it in until it was fully absorbed. Much better reaction when they spend a minute rubbing the gel in. 👍🏻
The hard work chap called. Still no body checking, not that I needed it after Ejaz had done it for me. I put the oven on to cook the large spud.

I hastened to fetch the camera from the junk room to take this amazing shot of the evening sky. Another pareidolia’s delight.

I got the spud out of the oven and got so annoyed when I had a feast of dropping stuff, spilling things, and losing my grip on things. Plus, difficulty in using the implements needed to make the meal. Unbelievable problem! What a mess I’d made in the kitchen. It was bad enough before, with no Carer cleaning it for three or four weeks now. Ejaz was the last one to do it. I’ll try to remember the sequence of droppages & spillages, etc. Oddly, I could recall these with ease. I think this is because I was all het up and angry at myself for repeatedly making such a mess that it stuck with me… maybe.
I took the monster potato out of the oven; the husk disintegrated on the outside, with flakes of skin all over the counter, tray, cooker, and floor… Grrr!
Belatedly, I got the chopping board out and used that to slice the spud in half. It took a long time to clean up, but it didn’t matter that the veg was cooling, as I was going to scoop it into a basin for mixing, then put it back in the oven to brown off.
I got the no-butter butter from the fridge to mix in, and picked up the large mixing bowl, this is where interfered again. I dropped the bowl, & no-butter butter. The bowl, hitting a large stack of Tupperware washed earlier and left to drain, with several different-sized bowls, fell to the floor, rolled around, and surrounded the No-butter butter! A bit of luck this time, the long picker-upper meant no bending and less pain and dizziness!
Still determined to have my favourite meal, I pressed on after a few minutes of recuperation.
I cut the mammoth potato in half lengthwise and began scooping the flesh into the mixing bowl. It was here, that kicked off.
I stood looking down the bowl at some of the potatoes on the floor. I’ll not say what I called myself.
But it was a smidge defamatory.
No choice, I could not avoid bending down, if I was going to clean this up with the little bits on the floor.
I’ve asked every Carer to find out where I can get a long-handled brush & dustpan set. And how! Being as I am now flat-bound again!
Irritation brewed in my mind, not self-pity this time, more like a semi-anger.
Back to cooking. I scooped the flesh into the bowl, added the last of the Leicester-grated cheese, and some No-butter butter and sea salt. Bashed it up for as long as I could, into t semi-smooth state, refilled the two halves of the husk, ran a fork over the top of each to ensure crispiness when cooked, and went for a sit-down without doing any clearing up, and fell asleep.
Not for long, but I could smell the potatoes when I woke up. So, off into the kitchen and they were just how I like ’em, well done. And they were red hot when I extracted them from the oven. So while they cooled a bit, I cleared and washed things up.

Then at last, and with great physical and emotional pains, I got the meals served up… After adding Chilli & Lemon Potato Curls. Great!
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Worth All The Hassle? You Decide! Hehehe!
Despite it all, it was lovely,
But I have to say, costly,
Pricewise, Physically & Mentally,
I say this enthusiastically,
I fare with life intolerantly,
But, voided living in xerophagy,
I need help neuropsychiatrically,
I can feel high, but hesitantly…
With the crap-luck that haunts me!
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Inchie: Friday 17th April 2026

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Sorry, no Ode – Sad that. Details below are a smidgeon teeny-bitlong-winded, perhaps. Sorry again.
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I have two pages of notes on today’s rather miserable day. With no sleep at all overnight. I was going to go shopping with Carer Mizra. But 9 hours of bladder pains with no urine getting through again, and this time it was far more agonising than Wednesday night’s performance. If you don’t mind, with it being fresh in my mind and no notes recorded of this period, I’d like to explain the Whoopsiedangleplops and Tale-Of-Woe of the Nottingham Lad’s Friday, well, agony, first.
This covers 2100hrs to 0630hrs Saturday.
The morning had little, if any, trouble from the Catheter or bladder. In the afternoon, things slowly got worse. The amount of urine entering the bag gradually decreased, and twinges and stabbing pains developed. Despite my slurping more water than ever, I was nervous of the night bringing what it did. brought.
21:00hrs; I added the Catheter Night Pouch to the day bag, and from then on, no urine flow. I managed to drink about a gallon of water. Until the pain increased, then overnight it got horrendous. horrendous overnight. I got a little sleep, for twenty minutes or so, just after midnight. I could not sit or lie down. Pottering about at first, in the kitchen, then the spare room, to get things done, in an effort to get the pain out of my mind. It didn’t work, of course.
I had to keep trying to take a rear-end phoo.
I took a variety of attempts, all but one were too painful to pass, giving my bladder a pasting of pain. 
The last one, Oh, drearie me, I did not get there in time. “Another mess to clean up, which caused more hassle”.
I was suffering by the time I’d cleaned it up and myself. For the second day, I summoned the community nurses for help. They got the catheter working. But it stopped within five minutes of them leaving. But still… erm, er… forgot what I was going to say then.

My eyesight is terrible.
I’ve had no sleep for several days.
The Catheter is giving me so much GIP, I can’t concentrate on anything. I’ll just do short blogs, if the computer lets me, for a few days.
Saturday was another “Why do I bother” day!
It is now Sunday. I’ll put some photos on, but I doubt I’ll remember what was what and when.

Morning shot of the balcony


The day brightened suddenly

List of things to get done on Saturday. Hopefully, Carer Mizra will be able to take me shopping. But only if the Catheter starts working properly.
Needless to say, I suppose, but this did not happen.

Nice night shots.

Carer Mizra asked if I wanted a meal done. But I could see he was running late, and declined the offer.
I made a cold meal, though.
Keilbasa (Sausages), seaweed. mushrooms,
and some ready-cooked chestnuts. Nice.

This is what can happen if your Catheter plug shoots open when you are in the kitchen… cause the pee started coming out, and it filled that quickly, and decorated the floor as I had to hobble through it with the walking stick, to get the mop and bucket!
Finding this mess, fallen twixt the non-working cooker and the floor cupboard, its door hanging off.

The sleep proved to be a third night of no sleep.
Even worse, it was not really painful, more like an excruciating, piercing, agonising, Insomnia-ridden, antsy one.


Instead of calling me, James Timothy Gerald, Percival, Algernoon. Luckless might have helped.

😖 TTFN 🤔

Inchie: Wednesday 15th April 2026

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A lot of things were missed on today’s blog. Again. Time utterly defeats me. If it gets any busier, I’ll see if I can go back to working. Luckily, I managed to keep the snaps I’d taken. More snaps today, fewer wafflings, other than visitors and the results, and a little bit of moaning (Of Course).
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The events are out of sync, sorry.

Falls & Recovery Team member called.
Took a look at the wheelchair after our Q&A and assessment. She will refer me to someone, can’t recall who, for getting some help with the leg and foot grips so I can use it. This would be wonderful if it could happen. Great. Other things that took place have drifted into my mind’s vacuum section.

Morning snaps from the balcony.
The Kodak Tim-2 is now taking almost square pictures. I’ll ask a Carer if they can sort it for me.

Carer put one of the replacement letters on the keyboard as it had worn away. See it? Hehe!

Suddenly went dark.
Took this one through the window cause of high winds coming up. Got a bit of reflection from glass.

Then the sky brightened so quickly.
Then it darkened a bit again.

Nurde Maude arrived to examine my lower-front Little Inchy fungal lesion. She thinks the cut has grown much larger, which may be causing the problems with the Catheter not working. But there is nothing they can do to solve the issue. I thought that afterwards it might be best to use the pouch on my left leg? The Nurse sent a message to the Doctor to see if the strong painkillers the hospital gave me, the only one that has any effect when the bladder-flowback, Shaking Shoulder Shirley, Annr Gyne, or Kidney Keith kick off. Twice this week I’ve had three of them at the same time. Not nice! So I pray they will supply me with some more of them on the NHS prescription. Please!
Think I’ve made another mistake here… it was Nurse Maude who referred me over the wheelchair.

Confusion not only continues, but affects me so much more often since Monday; it has got worse.
I got in a tangle while working on the week’s blog templates; luckily, Care Mizra arrived and sorted me out. The Arithmaphobia and my eyesight is getting worse by the day. (Moan, over) Well, this one. Haha!

Jenny came to see me with her niece, or was it yesterday? Lovely lady anyway. Jen brought me a lemon cake, which was lovely! WE had a good natter. The Nurse arrived, and they had to go.  They went without the bag of bits I was giving them for her charity. I decided to take them down to Jenny’s flat, to save Robin Hood Frank coming up. There was only one lift working. Managed to get there, and Frank took the bag, we had a sort of natter & laugh. Getting back up, I had to go down to the ground floor and back up to the 12th floor. By the time I got back in, I found that Anne Gyna had paid me a painful visit.

Back on the computer, needless to say, but CorelDraw gave me a lot of Duodenal Duncan pangs.

Then we had some rain.

Carer Ejaz did a visit. He’s a good laf to me.

Misra did the last call, he spread some bread for meto have with peas, beetroot, mushrooms, potatoes and a chicken leg with roast pork on the bread. Slurp!

Washing the dishes, I dare not leave them for Carer Rachid to do, even when he makes me a mug of tea, he leaves tea stains on the cabinet top and front.
I took these shots of the evening sky,

The first effort was accidentally artistic
The second was better.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –