THE SUICIDAL TORY FUTURE
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Got bedded down last night, well, this morning at around 03:20hrs, and low & behold, 
was waiting, ready to start again. But I did get off eventually and had nearly three hours of bliss. I would have stayed in the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner for longer; Unfortunately, Dementia Doreen’s compatriot, 
, convinced me on waking, that it was Monday! So I thought I had a delivery coming between 7 & 8, and it was already 07:15hrs; a semi-panic-mode was engaged and I got up in a bit of a rush; Dizzy Dennis visited, lost balance, and I sat down again, with a foggy head.
Then I realised it was Sunday…
The Night Pouch
At first glance, I thought I’d been mysteriously passing spaghetti through Little Inchie and 
. Hehehe! Too dark a colour.
The legs look a little rough again.
No pains with them, yet.
Got some spuds in the crock pot.
Then felt the need for the 
.
Well, 
was done after three days. But of course 
meant a mess to clean up.
Waste Bags Sorted.
Carer Rahmat arrived. Did the issuing of the medications, eye drops, painkillers & Peptac were given. A little natter, which I appreciated. Took her BP and temperature. Very good, see above.
I felt so different again this morning. Plain weary, but the balance was much better. I got on with the mammoth job of catching up on yesterday’s blogging. Things started annoyingly…
Amazingly, I changed the Wi-Fi option and it came back! Very slow work this time. I feared I might even fall asleep in the computer chair. I must try to get some decent sleep in.
I was amazed again, at how the time flew by – it was the midday call already. The blog was making progress, slowly. Rahmat at last accepted a drink I offered a choice of. Bless her!
Got the blog posted at long last. And made a start on the Ode for today’s Inchy Today. I think it took me over three hours, and then later I found spelling mistakes in it. 
, I think my concentration was getting far worse the more tired I got. 
Still, could be worse… couldn’t it?
Still struggling with the editing, and I forgot all about taking any photos until early evening. I’d been nibbling; in fact, I ate all of the remaining Le Petit bikkies!
A banana, a choc ice, an orange ice lolly, and as of now 19:10hrs, I’ve not made or wanted a mug of Glengettie?
This is singularly worrying. It’s never happened before? Could it be the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchie to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me!
Very peculiar situation. Not only not drinking tea, but failing to take photos of the clouds for my pareidoliaing!
I took a snap of the afternoon sky and grabbed another orange lolly from the freezer. Hahaha!
Bootiful!
Continued with the blog for several slow-moving hours, and went to take photographs of the later evening. I was struggling then 
and 
were making it difficult for me to control the camera and use the selection buttons, but I had to give up.
Carer Benjamin arrived. I hadn’t heard him, cause even if I had hearing aids in, I couldn’t hear the dooorchime when in the kitchen or wetroom. He was right behind me and made me jump a smidge. Which brought a much-needed smile. He’d been standing there a while and noticed how I was struggling with the Kodak. He whipped out his mobile phone and took these photos for me, bless his cotton socks.
Then a closer shot of the houses.
That was kind of Benjamin.
So I took a snap of the lad.
Offered a cold drinkie in thanks, and he got the medications sorted. Then the eye drops were put in. He’s a clever lad, and noticed the shaking in my… well, all over really. Hehehe!
He’ll be back, just like Arnie, later for the Catheter night bag fitting. After Benjamin departed, I got on with updating this blog, to here. But mental fatigue, mistake-making and lack of sleep made me stop. I hope I’ll be back later too.
Took this shot of the attractive early-night clouds.
Did some more blogging catch-up, and then Carer Benjamin returned for his last visit. During which, he took this shot with the Kodak, of the scratches & bruises on the left leg 0 which must have been acquired, Thursday, on the last of the 
falls, I’d not noticed, but sharp-eyed Benjamin did.
.
He also noticed that the leg was swelling up, compared to the state of the right one. One battered body, one distorted brain,
hearing problems, seeing problems, money running out at a fast rate, 
, 
problems; 
bleeding at the point of entry of the catheter tube. 
is visiting much more often lately, and the previously nocturnal only , is now apparently on a new 24/7 roster. My 
are scarily getting more frequent… the mind seems to just lose blocks of time altogether, and forever. None have ever come back to me, and those hours or minutes remain a mystery? Maybe this 
is making things worse?
Just thought I’d mention them. To help whippersnappers who just may read this, to know what they can expect. So, keep on with the cannabis; it helps. (Guilt developing!)
I bedded down in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly sickening beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue collecting recliner. But refused to let me sleep, even gave me a few sharp awakenings. I got up a few times, and wobblingly carried and 
to the kitchen to take some photos of the night skies
Sunset, taken earlier.
Blissful!
Later it looked like I had a monster on the horison.
A long time later, the monster was still there?
Back to try to sleep again, and I realised how little had been passed urine-wise, into the night pouch.
Took a photo with the flash on…
.
A perfect colour though. Bet it will have darkened by morning.
Not sure when I managed to get to sleep. But recall that had me wakened twice, all the other jerking-awakes were due to 
.
May Your Fortunes and Festivities Ferment with Good Food too!
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What a Start This Morning!
top of the electric fire, that I can’t afford to use with the cost of electricity; and panicked a little when I saw (Wrongly as it happens) that the clock showed it to be about ten past seven. And the food delivery is coming twixt 
07:00 > and 08:00! 
, and off to the wet 
room to check on the state of my inguen department in the lower regions.
– 
en route against the door frame. But did not stop, went in and peeled off the bloodied protection pants, and went into an investigative mode to assess the damage. Not much Germolene left; I used most of it on Little 
Inchies. Then realised I had even less left of the Germoloid ointment! But remembered my taking brave choice, to order a tube of each on today’s Morrison order, and dang, the cost! Taking the wristwatch off, I spotted the real-time! 03:30hrs. All that rushing and pain for nothing. 
Got the computer on to update yesterday’s blog. The time flew, but I took a break for a brew of Glengettie and the two last biscuits from the jar. No, I didn’t cry! But it was a close call. Hehe! I’d ordered some on the Morrison order, which cheered me up.
carriers in the hallway. Freezer, fridge, and cupboard goods.
I got around to putting the pictures taken onto the computer, my lovingly, carefully, time-consumingly taken shots throughout the late morning. But not one was on the SD card! 
, I swore, cursed and lambasted myself as I ground my teeth and wanted to hit myself in the face! What else is going to go wrong? Don’t answer that, please!
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Please let my luck get betterer?
Plenty of it for once, 500 ml!
A wider view…
But neither was very good. Tsk!
Titivated the nurses, carers, and helpers nibbles.
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After getting them into the jar, Kara told me they needed 4 days in the fridge. As instructed, I shook the seasoning in the tub.
Fridge close up. Leicester cheese to go in the potatoes later… well, that’s the plan, anyway.
Fridge full view.
Terribly bad freezer shot…
But the bananas came out alright.
Balcony photo of the end car park.
Low puffer clouds, Bootiful!.
A Higher in the Sky view.
Although this one could be my finger?
. Woke and went to check on the cooking and spotted the part moon high in the sky. I took these poor efforts for photographicalisations
But I ate most of it; I just had to leave some of the mushrooms.
& the 
How the heck I managed to get three copies of The Moon in there is beyond me. I bet WordPress 
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Blepharitis Infection Eye Gel applying problems. 
brought on a few giving-way episodes on the left leg, which nearly had me over each time. But, somehow I avoided tumbling and having an 
. A close call though.
that was spouting puss a bit today. All of these are connected to 
was responsible for them all. Schweinhund!
The delectable DVT Warfarin Anticoagulation Nurse came to take my blood for anoth
instructions.
Which seemed much more understandable now.
Another hour and a half and the total to date was…
Up to now, the internet had gone down…
Internet Outages Applied by Inchy!
Spouting fluid
Waste Bins Sorted
Early morning kitchen view
I’m not sure why I took this one? 
After ablutions kitchen view
Went a little dark as the afternoon loomed.
Then brightened up. Bootiful clouds
Slowly darkened as it got later.
delights
.
.
put on. The Gel applying, I’ve still not mastered very well.
Failures had reached…
No fish fish-sticks and fishless prawns. Canned garden peas, nice tomatoes, yellow & red, roast potato chunks done in the oven with olive oils sprayed on them, vinegared and salted on the plate, no sauce needed tonight. I then proceeded to eat the feast… and created a new record!
Peas went off wandering every time, I was still finding them on the floor that 
How Gorgeous!
on this one.
no bother at all! 
on both, but it made no difference; it’s still a painful nuisance this morning. 
♥ Here she is with me in the flat. ♥
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NHS Scale 4
Sprayed the slippers.
Kitchen.
Kitchen morning view.
Not sure why I took this one – or even meant to?
Took these snaps of the view from within the outer foyer.
Then as the time neared for the bus, out to the bus shelter.
Taking this snap of the traffic island outside the flats. The wind was blasting the weeds and plants all over.
I felt the catheter pouch dropping… Dam It! After all that time preparing everything to go out, I’d not emptied the pouch! I cringed as I had to ask if there was anywhere I could empty it. The lady kindly took me through the back of the shop, through some narrow junk rooms; she even helped
I needed an eye spray and Gel. The tears were drying far too quickly, and the grit-in-the-eye scenario needed the spray. I can’t recall how much they each were, but the total was £23! pound
I was foolishly tempted to buy more veg knuckles and a large potato.
Then a grinding hobble back up Winchester Street Hill.
I think the hobble earlier helped me cope with it easier this time.
Approaching the left turn to the flats, which was not in view yet.
Almost there…
These wildflowers
caught my attention again, as the poor things were getting battered by the winds.
A Prisoner’s… no, Tenant’s detail updating was done.
At the end, Near the swipe door…
A photo of the overgrown natural greenery!
The knuckle and the potato.
being kind, as well as the 
giving me a break…
was kind as well… then as heavenly peace arrived… I think was beginning a peaceful dream with a HRH Petal-Lisa and me in a railway carriage, dining… somewhat 
the landline burst into flashing mode.
I jerked awake, my glasses dropped of my head… I carefully (I thought) rose from the recliner; knocking off a bottle of spring water and the torch off of the ottoman… nearly lost my balance going the two paces nodded to get to the telephone, and responded with a pleasant, ‘Good Evening’ quote. It was the 
, with the results of the blood test. My INR had gone up to 4.2 for some reason, so the new dosages were given to me. Struggling to hear what the receptionist was saying didn’t matter this time; it was easy to hear… one each night! I thanked her and nearly tripped over the bottle of spring water as I went to the carers table and change the dosage on the Meridian book cover. 
Within about ten minutes the door chime chimed out its; 
tune.
It was Carer Chris coming for the last call of the day. Nice and early too, I was half asleep. He got the 
and
on the eye; the gel application hurt a smidge as I recall after it was put on, but nothing too bad.
Oh, just found this photo that I missed off!
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Thanks, Doreen!
First bag emptying. Not as dark as it looks. These day bags are in three compartments, with a shaded outer plastic.
. Only two (messy) trips up to now
Brrr!
This shot was a better one, got the colour as it was!
Getting dark earlier now.
And yet, the next emptying…
Much better? Not complaining like!
Oh, where did the time go?
Washed the pots, during which I felt liquid on my left lower leg?
, that’s on the right leg. I felt a grope of the area and found some new fungal growths, about four of them, different sizes, and all leaking what appeared to be water?
I put a self-adhesive pad on them, check the
That was too red again. Tsk!
Yet another crap night of sleeping. I had to keep wiping the liquid away all through the night with kitchen towels. One of the lesions is still running now (at 09:40hrs Saturday). The eyes and nose are doing a good imitation of the lesions. This reminded me of a Dr Who episode. Hehe!
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Some blood in the 
, that’s because we still do not have any 
s delivered!
, all messy again!.
Not only the leg lesions but the eyes and nose were running???
Took two snaps of the depressing weather.
They seem to be getting smaller now but still spurting water.
I can still see the face on the leg.
The wee-wee had changed to a decent colour.
Concentration is gone, getting tired, and the eyes are getting dimmer, as is usual at this time of night.
The lesions are getting even smaller now.
A middling colour, not too bad.
I dined like a King… 
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ensuring that I seemed to spend longer awake than asleep. I gave up trying around 05:00hrs.
The urine looks darker than it really was when I emptied the pouch.
No change in the ankles.
No chance of any cloud pareidoliaing this morning.
Jimminee, the colour of the wee this time was almost perfect.
The computer on! Made an order for Asda for next week
The urine is getting a move-on today.
Wonderful clouds this afternoon!
Went to check on the spuds in the slow cooker.
Not sure how I took this photo?
Matron arrived
Hahaha! The wee kept on coming!
Overcast as the rain stopped, I took this picture.
It’s gerrin’ a better colour as the night comes on! Great!
The potatoes were slow-cooked with sea salt & vinegar.
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A little misty.
City Hospital is in there somewhere.
When the petals fall in the fall, will they be messy at all?
I don’t think that’s the official name of them…
Then one of the new Kodak with the Fuji.
Smashing! 
Gorgeous!
Liquid smoke, sea salt & BBQ sauce.
called. Sorted the meds… well, not them we had run out of, naturally. No night bags to use. We had a little chin-wag.
was more than enough to guarantee me a lack of sleep again!
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I thought this might be a good spot to
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The day bag was not a good colour this morning.
Had a sad moment over my not being able to go on one of the trips-out days! Ah, well, “Que sera, sera!”
Spots of morning rain.
This time my luck wasn’t so good… I lost grip of the bowl and water from the kitchen – drenched the dressing gown, me and the floor! Naturally, I took it all in my stride and did not get angry or get pissed off, swear, spit or curse! 
I broke the handle on the mop and banged my knuckles on the edge of the radiator! Within minutes of returning to the front room, the 2nd visit was required!
. Now both or either hand fingers are not letting me grip things or refusing to allow me to let go of things? The cursed Eye-Ailment-Brigade; 
, 
and 
, is making things harder as well. Doing this blog will be too much shortly, I fear. CorelDrawing is easier and can be resized quickly, so all is not fatal yet. No night bags for about a week either, so the bladder cannot have its nightly flushing out of the infection? Still, it was day bags I ran out of last time. Nobody is telling me anything. The After-stroke falls team lady and District nurses have not been for a long time.
Mid morning.
Afternoon view
Flavoured the baked beans with liquid smoke, BBQ sauce, and a splash of aged malt vinegar.
Beautiful late afternoon puffer clouds.
Pareidolia prompting picture!
Pareidolia prompting picture!
In yer face, Sun!
Pareidolia prompting picture!
Pareidolia prompting picture!
Bootiful!
The oh, so high moon cometh…
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The urine was another bad colour.
Popped through the letterbox was a leaflet regarding Winwood Heights Social activities. Which was impossible to read due to the small print and, of course, 
Strawberry treats for the gals. With some different drinks this time. Vanilla ice-cream-flavoured ones. I tried one later from the fridge – very nice!
The urine was running a much healthier colour!
Raining!
The rain has stopped, and as I went into the kitchenette, the sun found a gap in the clouds, offering me some pareidoliaing time.
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