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STRANGE FACTS YOU MAY NOT WANT TO KNOW,
Things that happened as I began to grow,
Dad decided that to the park we would go…
To watch the cricket, I thought, oh, no,
I get more fun looking at a Picasso,
Can I go on the swings, Dad?
This seemed to make him mad,
He said, keep quiet and be a good lad!
I sneaked off for a walk about a tad,
Carrying football boots, I saw a lad,
I went to watch their game, naughty dingwad.
Trying to open the gate, I was tugging…
Hearing Dad’s voice, I hid absquatulating,
He didn’t see me; I found that amusing…
But not the following crushing…
It was my thumb, and it was bleeding,
Dad came over, saying… What a state!
“Thee thumb ends chopped off, me mate”,
The lad who’d run his car into the gate,
I recall his language was articulate…
Apologising, so there is no need to altercate,
The ambulate arrived, its bell ringing,
They took me to the children’s hospital A&E,
Put me on a waiting hall trolley,
A nurse checked the thumb & bandaged me…
Said that she’ll be back shortly,
I waited and felt a little sleepy,
Took me to the treatment room swiftly,
Said, “We’ll have to sew it back on” curtly,
Which they did, and very neatly,
Back out into the hallway…
You’ll stay here as a cautionery,
“You have been fearless, not cowardly!”
So, I had coped with the calamity,
I turned to look for a lavatory…
And had another Whoosiedangloppery,
I fell off of the trolley,
It doesn’t feel like it, but apparently…
But that was back in August 1950,
When they got me up, I’d broken my knee!
The start of my run of being unlucky,
What have I done successfully?
I’ve about run out of currency,
Born with the world’s tinniest ever Willie,
Cancer, shot, Peripheral Neuropathy,
Glaucoma, Cataract, at 23 I became a baldie,
Being nearly drowned later made me a deafie,
Got made redundant when I was 63,
Then, they fitted a mechanical aorta in me,
Cartilages giving way, then Reflux Roger,
Then the devil infected me with Anne Gyna,
Haemorrhoids, colour-blind, then another catastrophe,
Ingrowing toenails, having to pay for chiropody,
Hearing aids, spectacles, & lost my mobility,
Taxed on my pension… Oh, did I mention…?
Starmer stole my winter fuel allowance from me!
I cannot claim to have been over-lucky,
I may need help psychosomatically,
Psychologically, I live abnormally,
I’m getting help, the falls team agreeably…
Will visit to aid my recovery,
They will help me significantly,
The Carers do, definitely…
But it’s all too costly!
I am a proper moaner,
Most of my ire is self-anger,
Leaving hot taps to run colder,
Doors open, fridge flowing over,
I’ve turned into a grammaticaster,
Many traits & skills that I cannot master!
No point in becoming a reprehender,
Starmer’s done well, and he’s a cheat & liar!
His father was a toolmaker,
That’s true; he made a useless one named Keir!
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Less time left than ever before after making this Ode!
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04:15hrs: I woke, removed the catheter pouch, and went to the wet room to get the cleaning up done &
sorted out. I was feeling, well, not perkier, but better than I have done for a few mornings.
I checked the computer email in case any of the medics had sent me an update.
I realised the snaps below, taken last night by Carer Ejaz, are rare. ‘Rain’ was missed in yesterday’s blog. I plead Guilty!
There were no cuts, and the bruised eye looked bad. Not really, but it made me sound brave! Hehe!
The ulcers and 
were far less vivid this morning.
Some new growths had appeared near DVD veins.
At teatime, I showed Carer Joe. There were new ones, and those in the photo had been leaking from a tiny spot on top of each one that had dried hard.
Another of the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morgana that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, which is losing its marbles?
Mini-seizures and doing the gloriously silly Ode above ensured I spent hours and hours slogging away, constantly getting slower. Several hours were lost.
A social team member (I can’t recall the name)rang me, reminding me to call the doctors to get an appointment with her – one might as well have called Putin and asked him to kindly stop killing people; the result is the same.
Apparently, the Doctor asked Matron Jackie to tell me to make one. Then, the Doctor requested that Social remind me. I can only get there with a Carer on a Wednesday. When Carer ‘Joe’ rang for me, he was told that the Doctor does her home calls on a Wednesday. After talking with the organiser, the best he could offer was for fifteen-thirty, on the fourth of June. But this is only protem. Carer ‘Joe’ said he’ll see if he can get cover or make changes for that day. He’ll have to ring them back to make it for another day if he can’t get things arranged for that day.
The costly nail cutter from the hair salon came up to do them at ‘ten minutes’ notice. This threw out my plots for the Ode and delayed me even further. Tsk!
I’d just had a mini seizure and was not totally compos-mentis. Nice gal. Hurt a bit on the ingrowing nail toes. In fact… ARRGH! Hehe!
I’ve got a potato in the oven to try making cheesy spuds. But, on a low light. It’s the last call of the day, Ejaz, I think it will be. He’s due over the next hour; I’ll not start eating until he’s gone. Then, the feasting will start. Hahaha! I’ll turn the heat down on the oven so they don’t burn.
Back with an update in T’morning’!
Good Morning!
Carer Ejaz arrived.
I took these snaps of the sun going down with my (donated) Kodak 2a.
Then, about a minute later.
The sun was moving down quickly.
The ready-made meal was shepherd’s pie, a baked potato, and two cheese-topped bread rolls.
Another tasty meal! Great!
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All the best of luck!
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I’d forgotten or failed to remember (Hehe!) that the JS food order was arriving early today. (Fancy that!)
Got the fridge stuff sorted.
Then, the freezer
And the drinkies
Protection pads, kitchen towels, Bovril cubes, Maryland Vegan cookies, Kung Po sauce, a can of garden peas, and, to my delight, a loaf of my beloved Milk Roll sliced bread! 
Putting the things away, I heard a clatter; something had fallen down between the cooker and cabinet.
I couldn’t see what, or where, it had fallen. So, I took a photo with the flash on of the gap. It turned out to be the spyglass that I had tried to clean last week, which I had filled with a mixture of bleach and water. I utilised the 
picker-upperer to retrieve the magnifier.
Ten minutes later, I took a photo of this snap through the window. Looking suddenly bleak?
The sun broke through again.
Beef and black bean ready-made meal, with a can of minced beef, flavoured with Marmite and Bisto.
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In short…
Graded later by Carer Ejaz.
A sit-down visit first
It only took me 20 minutes this morning.
I was pressing on with the teeth, then shaving, and almost finished when the blood dripped onto my man breasts! Tried the Brut aftershave to stem the flow. It was a smidge futile.
After finishing the cleaning and addressing various areas that needed medicating, I started applying the fresh PPS. I 
and the fungal lesion. Agony did not cover the situation this time.
Photos taken, not many.
I took this one through the kitchenette window. The shadows on the house were from the block of flats. The sun coming from behind.
Well, there was no blood when I checked on the legs now, so the furuncle and fugal lesions must have stopped. 
Getting back to the computer, I noticed the time on the clock was 07:35hrs? I can’t have been. I was in the wet room, crippling myself at that time. Then, being the youthful, educated, logical, keen, alert, conscientious person that I am… I checked the clock, and it was still showing the same time. Quick as lightning, I realised that the battery must have run out. Nae, problemo! I knew I got some… somewhere in the flat. The drawer that I knew I’d put them in was in the kitchen. I rummaged through it. No luck!
it gave way. 
I ended up in a little ruffled heap, landing on the crisp and nibbles box. Learning later that, I’d burst open three bags of crisps and a pack of cheese biscuits and bent the umbrella which was nearby. On the bright side, I used the umbrella to get me to the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer 
Aargh!
Early Evening shots
afternoon, I dropped the hanger.
I didn’t particularly fancy doing the mopping up with the four-pronged walking stick and the mop and bucket in tow. However, if I removed the nocturnal bag to do the mopping, I would have to reconnect the tube afterwards. And the night pouches are famous in Inchy’s world for leaking if one connects, takes them off, and then puts them back on again. So, I got the four-pronged walking stick and the mop and bucket in tow and got the cleaning up done. I felt well-drained after that, and for a moment on the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner, I sat.
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she hasn’t been so kind to me for weeks. She didn’t kick off the first attack until 15:15 hours. Great!
more than covered for her. 
These are the ones where I can do nothing for a few minutes after I get back to reality. A Carer came when I was out of it and told me I was open-eyed and muttering things incoherently. She was really worried. Luckily, I was soon back to my semi-senses and explained to her about what it was. It was her first visit as well.
First kitchen shot.
Spring beginning to green the flora!
The gravel path up Woodthorpe Park.
A later shot from the balcony of the end car park.
The sun coming down.
Washed some socks
Welcoming home his servant Doug.
I dipped them in a BBQ sauce dip.
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Help with the laundry from Carer Ahram. Who also went through the paperwork with & for me.
Nocturnal pouch
Calendar Clock
Laundry waiting to go.
Damp laundry put on the two airers, by Ahram.
Dressing gowns hung up.
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. She was persistent with it. I think I may have had a few nocturnal seizures as well. So many wake-ups, but my response was different for some of them, and it took me a lot longer to get back to sleep after a few of them. There were none of the 
episodes and a few of the 
. Did you see that? I was being diagnostic, investigative, and problem-solving, on the verge of being semi-logical in my assessment of the night’s kipping difficulties? 
I removed the night bag from the day bag, and bending down, I got a visit from 
… that was a bad one. In the late afternoon, while on the computer, he called again and was even more effective. I had a good few today.
It looked bleak outside, with a bit of drizzle.
I did some hoovering and sorted the waste bins. Then, I felt guilty about the mess in the wet room that still needed to be cleaned, so I went to the wet room.
1
, gave way and I dropped the walking stick. I slid down with my back against the wall and plumped on a pack of six (approx. 5-inches high) mini-mineral spring water bottles onto my bum. With both knees doubled up, Arthur Itis and the Cartilages were agony!
The fridge.
The freezer.
The waters.
I took another kitchen window shot.
The day’s original Beloved Copse shot
To the left of the window and down a bit.
A ready-made beef in gravy with colcannon mashed potatoes. I added the last can of minced beef in gravy, carrots, and peas. Added some Marmite to the mixture and stirred it all up. Just four minutes in the microwave & it was ready-to-eat. 
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A 7, I think, on the NHS scale.
The sun broke through.
Clock-Calendar.
Slow, painful, & bloody.
The wound on Arthur Itis and Catheter Chloe is getting so much better already.
Unburnt lambburgers!
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The nocturnal bag rating was a four!
First photo of the view.
I did my best, but things tarted to bleed. I gave up.
Retrieving the razor, I trapped my arm amidst the trolley as Cartilage Chloe gave way. Just as well, I did cause the entanglement stopped me from going down and hitting the de
Started the hand washing and airing.
What a hue the sky had changed to!
I noticed that somebody in the flat had not changed his c176 clock calendar date! Hehe!
Teatime delivery from Ocado.
Costly!
Oven chips in the oven.
At last, a meal I enjoyed!
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An ode to my beloved Grim Reaper,
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Carer said this was a number 6 on the scale.
The sun made this a different shot as it appeared from behind the prison. No, the flats.
I have to keep up with the handwashing of the nightshirts. I washed one and flavoured it… I scented it with freshener, wrung it out, and hung it on the wetroom shower curtain rail.
The photo of the flat one seems to have disappeared from the SD card. Or I didn’t take it?
The DVT Warfarin nurse called to tell me she was coming to see me in the morning. Getting a phone call from this delightfully gorgeous, friendly, and caring nurse was lovely. ♥ If only I were 55 years younger.
My ultra-modern 1976 Nokia mobile phone seemed to have changed its colour scheme to green.
An early afternoon view here.
We’re getting some fantastic early evening skies recently. Glad I got these.
The best close-up is one of the red bits.
DOUG’s ANDY, FURRY OF THE DAY 1
I don’t know when, but today. 
Until I knocked the dish off of the counter!
The pork leg slices and mini sausages were baked to perfection! The stray looked a little bare. Hehe!
Getting out of the bed, I dropped the torch. Then I gave myself a 
, and hobbled precariously to the kitchen
However, I did discover that I’d left the fridge door open. 
I closed it!
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With cooked beetroot and battered mashed potatoes.
Two Natorra tomatoes left to have later.
from the day pouch, and from then on, I started so many tasks in a short space of time and made many errors. 
For example, after I started sorting the waste bags out. Got three bags into one and intended to do the other two. But no, not me. I found myself with my head in the oven cleaning the racks. I say I found myself because obviously one of the seizures had got a hold of me; the last thing I remember doing before this was taking the first bag to the door. And was going to sort the front room bins. I looked in the room, and they had not been done.
I reckon it caused me a bout of vertigo as I removed the shirt from the sink to the bowl. No need to tell you, but I will: I dropped the bowl, water all over the floor and me, and the monitoring station came through to tell me the water leak alarm had activated. It took me a minute or two to regain my balance sufficiently to reach the monitor.
Throne duties done.
as before I’d shaved! 
went okay. And… I got the fresh PPs on without any falls, stumbles or droppages! 
A Caregiver arrived, and I remembered that I needed to hang the Kagoule on the wetroom shower rails to dry. So, after the carer had medicated me, I got another kagoule washed and hung it up with the other in the wet room.
to the chute yet. 
traps on my fingers or my hand. And no walking into the doorframes.