Inchcock Today: Monday 12th September 2022

Inchcock Blames the new medications for this Ode.
They are called Talimogene Laherparepvec.
He hopes he will never have to ask for any.
How are you supposed to Pronounce it? Hehehe!
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Having to boil kettles and saucepans cause the hot water is not hot. And the shakes and dizzies have been rampant! So no Diary as such, just bits I can recollect, and from a few scribbled unreadable notes. Sorry! Owing to many cock-ups and the camera not working for some unknown reason.

06:30hrs: I woke; it’d been another night of waking ups again. And I rose, dragging the superfluously elephantine-bellied body up on the poor feet, and caught my balance. And went to check if the hot water was hot yet. It wasn’t!

I mused over whether or not to have a shave in the lukewarm water… the usual decision-making routine. Humming and hawing, dilly-dallying and generally fence-sitting, procrastination took over. After last night’s mega-shaving nicks, I was dubious… but I went ahead again and had a stand-up wash & shave. Amazing how one can cut oneself so easily! Of course, during the shaving session, I had a and , which ensured that the blood flowed. The cold hop water did nothing to stop it from flowing. So I had an expensive Brute splashing session that did the trick, temporarily.

Off to the kitchen, intending to make a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea.
I got sidetracked by the moon that was still trying to get through.
Took the wide shot and then tried to get a decent zoomed-in picture. So, you can see, I didn’t exactly do a good job of it. Humph! No sooner had I zoomed in; guess who paid me another visit?

I got the waste bags made up, only two this morning for Richard; if he comes, it should be. I got his treats, and thank-you bag made up, all bar the fresh stuff in the fridge.

Next, I got the done. Another giant leap for mankind! Hehehe! Terrible results! SYS shot up to 173, DIA a massive 146, and even the Pulse was an astronomical 98!!!

Not good, is it? Can’t wait until tomorrow to see if it’s back down again. I mentioned these fluctuating results to the Doctor last week – I didn’t even get an answer, scoff or tut from her? Yet Sunday’s figures were marvellous?

I got on the computer and got myself in a double mess at the same time, more or less. First, the photo reader was toying with me, but I kept all calm and went through the usual routine to try and get it working again. I’m so proud of myself; for making and keeping a list of what I tried last time, and I kept it handy in the left-hand drawer!
As I was working my way through the actions to try… I realised that I must have scratched at the chin, and the blood was flowing again. Nothing like badly, just little streaks, but it took me ages and about ten sheets of kitchen towel and £3 worth of Brut to get it to stop! I know this is impossible, but I thought I heard  laughing; hehe!

The morning Carer arrived, it was No-Yawning-Richard. He looked a lot better in himself today. I think it’s because it is his first day back after his break in shifts.
He noticed the bloody tissues in the waste bucket. I informed the lad of the hot water being off for three days. Richard got onto the phone and reported Nottingham City Homes Maintenance of the problem without messing about. Told me they would be coming sometime today. Bless him. None of the other carers does that for me. So glad I gave him an extra big bag of nibbles and drinks now! He looked at the blood pressure,
He didn’t do a wristlet alarm battery check, but last week if I recall, he did it on a Wednesday. He’ll not forget to.
He’s a good lad, and seeing him more like himself was a pleasure.

After I’d bade Richard farewell and all the best, I returned to the computer.
But not for long. Carol rang; she wanted to do the laundry. Lovely! The poor gal has been covering for Esther. Who decided to stay two more weeks on her holiday in South Africa, leaving poor Carol in a quandary. He thought she was away for three weeks, and she made plans of her own. Now she is struggling to get the washing done for everyone. Bless her. 

Then, a memory blank fell over me. No more notes on the memory pad. I had to check on WordPress to see if I’d finished and sent off the Sunday post. Luckily I had!
I think I lost about four or five hours. Not sure if any plumber had called?

Sort of came back to mock-life, and I was working on words for the Ode. So I carried on.
I went to make a brew and found a cold pored mug of tea next to the kettle. I wonder when I made that? No milk it, stone cold! Also, a packet of BBQ rice was on the counter, and the oven was on… nothing in it!
I got on and started this blog so late it was well into the afternoon; in fact, it was almost evening! Kicked off, and I’m nearly out of Peptac now. Not that it is any good, just better than nothing.

Jodie arrived. Again she came in without pressing the chime and came right up behind me as I was concentrating on the computer. She’ll give me a heart attack one day! I asked if Jodie could press the button before coming in (again). But all it got was a smile! Hehe! Still, She’s not a bad gal. I remembered the chocolate mints I’d been meaning to give her since last Friday. Got the medications given to me, and she was soon off.

Aha, the intercom lit up. Twas, the plumber from Nottingham City Homes Maintenance. He looked around and told me the additional switch in the airing cupboard had been turned off. Probably the Friday plumber who solved the leaking tap turned it off for some reason? Cause I’ve had no hot water since Saturday? He assured me that it would start getting hot after ten PM. GrrreatI Gave him a choice of thank you treats, and off he went! 

I carried on with the blogging. At about half-passed ten, I checked the hot water situation. Still cold. I must be patient. I got the roast veg risotto in the oven and will add the microwave BBQ-flavoured rice later. Then when both are ready, put them in a dish and add some vegan BBQ sauce.
After eating it, I’ll test the hot water again. Please be working!

Got the nosh sorted out.
As planned, the BBQ-flavoured Ben’s rice and roast vegetable risotto. Some mini-tomatoes.
A diddly pot of lemon mousse for afters.
This was the meal of the year up to now! Fantastic flavour! Taste: 9.3/10!

Went to check on the hot water. It was still only lukewarm! .
How disappointing! I think I may have sworn a little under my breath in frustration. 

Inchies Frictional, Unfrivolved, Fricking Friday!

Things started pretty well for me, oh, yah!

I got the Halloween hand-outs on display…

For carers, nurses, come who may,

Anyone visiting me from today…

Then got the potatoes, boiled with balsamic vinegar,

And a spot of Worcester sauce, & a pinch of demerara sugar,

They’ll do for later if I remember the bugger,

With the chilli, and put on some more sauce, tartar?

Titivated the kitchenette, dropped a jam jar!

An excellent job that it wasn’t the caviar!

The jar didn’t break, and it missed my feet…

Things were going well, all seemed alreet,

Off to the computer with a mug of tea, took a seat,

I even nibbled some biscuits, wholewheat!

The landline rangeth, the Amazon man, a right pain!

T’was then that my good luck, nosedived again!

We couldn’t understand what each other said,

So I went down to meet and talk to him instead,

His English was better than my Afghanistani,

But he left me, in the lurch, there was no barny…

He abandoned the food with me in the lift foyer, the Git!

I had to get the parcels into the lift, and I wasn’t fit…

Back up to the 12th-floor, struggled to get the bags out,

Then had to get them into the lobby,

Then into the flats lobby,

Then into the flat,

Then the hallway…

Then the kitchen, my energy drained away!

Next, the swearing started, I have to say!

The Git had put bleach in, it leaked, had to throw my bananas away!

The baguette buggered, utter dismay!

Tomatoes crushed, and I was feeling bushed!

Honey yogourts pot fell apart; I was further crushed!

Got the salvaged food sorted,

I was pissed off; I felt like I’d been ambushed!

The cooked ham was crumbs and crushed!!!

I was feeling despondent, to say the least!

Can’t see myself enjoying tonight’s feast!

Got the fodder all sorted… What was eatable anyway!

I was determined to get the treats out today for those who have helped me out over the year. Jenny, Norah and Frank, and Obergruppenfürher Deana and Obersturmbannfuhreress Julie, the ILCs (Indeependent Living Coordinators) at the flats. I rang them both to tell them I’d be coming down later to see if it was alright, as they may have been busy. Recorded messages on both phones that told me they must be busy. So I’ll get the goodies sorted out and go to Jenny then to the office with them.

As I was going out of the door, struggling a little with the walker-trolley, the postman came into the foyer. Oh, dearie me! This sounds like it may be a con-job?

An official-looking brown envelope, a white one, and then he handed me an ‘insufficient postage bill for nearly £11 for something that has been sent to me?

He kindly offered to ask his boss if he could pay for it for me, get the ‘parcel’, and I can refund him, and he’ll bring it in the morning. I was dubious, as I don’t think ~I am expecting anything through the post? Anyway, I thanked him and took him up on his generous offer for me, with a certain feeling of doom.

The white envelope was from Meridian, three A4 pages, about my Christmas needs for carers, Logging-in, Shadowing & Spot Checks, McMillan Charity Ball, On Call Centre procedure, and a Service-User Forum Wednesday 8th December at Foxton Gardens.

I didn’t over concentrate on owt, but the dodgy sounding parcel postage cost thingy. Then thought I’d try ringing the Wardens again, let them know I was coming down to see them and ask if they could have a look at the Social Services letter for me.

Finally, I got back to the walker-trolley of goodies, of off down to Jenny’s. On the way down, I thought to myself… well, I felt sorry for myself, really. Everything suddenly going into panic mode; surely things must calm down now… Hahahahahaha! Crap!

I called at Jenny’s flat, rang the bell and knocked on the door, and returned to the lift.

Down and into the connecting corridor with Winwood Court.

Called at the Wardens Interrogation and Body Search Room and dropped off the nibbles. Dean checked the Attendance forms for me, and I signed them. At last, something was going right – Hey-Ho! Little did I know what Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops still awaited me yet!

Then realised I had not put the prescriptions list in the envelope.

Back up and down in the lift again, and down to Deana.

Gawd, it did! I thanked Deana and hobbled out of the Winwood Court foyer, the first time I’ve been in the fresh air for months now, I think… But it proved to be a hazard ridden journey to the post-box to mail the letter… Just when I stupidly thought things were getting better again…

Unbeknownst to me, the wind was howling out there, and it whipped the envelope and paperwork out of my hand, high up in the sky, swirling around and then seemed to turn back in my direction, falling down in the car park twixt the vehicles. So, if it had blown off again, I would not have seen it again… Semi-panic mode engaged. I pursued the envelope and had to search a bit to find it. Still, the relief when I saw it trapped in between the branches of a bush was welcomed, even more so when I managed to get at it in time before it flew off into the clouds again!

I limped hastily as I could to the mailbox, checked the envelope, and posted it; thank heavens for that. Although, my EQ told me it would not have mattered, because as the voice said: “You ain’t going to get no financial help, any and either way, cocker!” Which was a smidge disheartening, bearing in mind EQ has never been wrong with his forecasts… no, I tell a lie, sorry. He was once, just the one time.

I hobbled back inside and just had to tell Deana what had happened. At least she got to laugh out loud before going home for the weekend, bless her. Hehe!

I set off along the link corridor and got to the connecting door.

Boy, did I feel a fool!

I could feel the key fob in my jacket pocket, but could I find a way in to get it? No! I assumed it had gone through the lining of one of the pouches. Back through link passage and to Deana, thinking she may have some scissors for me to use, to cut through the pocket.

Within a few seconds of investigating the jacket pocket for me, Deana put on a broad grin – that I believe actually said, “What a pillock!” As she pointed out that the sleeveless coat had two pockets on either side, one behind the other!

I blushed, felt the pillock above, thanked her, and scurried away in embarrassment and fast as I could… back, yet again along the corridor.

The hobble back into Woodthorpe was masked by the deep and genuine worry about what the hell am I doing? Since retirement, nothing going right, or even things going wrong, has been a part of my life, but I am not coping so well with things nowadays.

The trip up in the lift left little recollections of anything. I should have guessed that Dizzy Dennis and Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley were about to erupt; the hassle for such a long time nearly always ends in a tumble or similar – this time was no different, I’m afraid; Well, it was actually.

The haze came over me as I began to push the trolley through to the lobby from the cage. I gave myself such a bash on the right shoulder; it knocked me sideways, I clouted my back on the other side of the lift, and I went down, almost in slow motion!

My Luck Changed!

I had no idea who it was, but a bloke came out of the end flats and got me up on my feet again. See, I am fortunate sometimes. I think he knew me cause he guided me back to the flat and helped get the trolley in for me. Not sure what we spoke about, but I think we did have a natter.

I made a brew of Glengettie Gold and sat down doing absolutely nothing, but fretting of course. Nodded off for ten minutes. Woke up in need of a wee-wee and felt so much better, then? Back-Pain-Brenda was the main pain-giver, but you can’t blame her after that little backwards tumble. Hahaha! I made another drink, and took a Cocodamal, then got on with updating this blog. I hadn’t really realised how late it was, although with all the palaver I should have expected it, the Evening Carer arrived.

It was Helen. After she’d done the medications, it was she who told me what a terrible day she’s been having. Bless her! When I related my day so far and showed Helen the photographs (I was still doing the blog updating when she arrived), She did laugh! Which was good cause it might have cheered her up a smidgeon, I hope.

I realised that I could not find the Warfarin card anywhere. Mmm? Mayhaps I dropped it when I collapsed on my rump? I went to check in the elevator cage. Nope!

Summat else to worry about now, Tsk! I got back in the front room and was going to do another search of the multi-pocketed jacket… when… I spotted it on the carpet underneath the computer cabinet.

I pressed on with this blog updating, and woe of woes, I got as far as I heard and realised it was almost midnight! I’d better get something to eat… ah, yes, the chilli and the crushed brochette, or whatever its name is, bread to me.

While doing the cooking, it was complicated for an old chap, like what I am. Some done in the crock-pot, chilli-con-carne on the saucepan on the hob, and wedges in the microwave, and as for all the cleaning up afterwards… Humph! Where was I?

Oh, yes, I took photographicalisations of the night sky.

Part Of The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woes – With Odes Series.