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My being a long-time self-medicator,
A sprayer, a creamer & ointmentater,
I’ve got tips for others to endure…
Some use bicarb & talcum powder,
Aftershave is an excellent blood-stopper,
Some tips for the use of a catheter,
You’ll have troubles… oh, yer!
The urine in your external nocturnal pouch…
Will make your Carer say, ‘Ouch!’.
When the colour is browner & redder,
You can waste your time telling a nurse or Doctor,
Who’ll always say you must drink more water!
Don’t bother telling them you feel a bit peakier,
Or that you are drinking gallons of spring water,
They’ll just think, the old git Inchy has dementia,
Don’t say you’re running a temperature,
They think you can’t read the thermometer…
With your cataract and glaucoma,
If you mention your seizure disorder,
You’re told, ‘Well, you’re getting older!’
I seeked help from the local Wicca Paganer,
She had no idea, but she was a fantastic pleasure,
Tube-out & in repeatedly pleased this pensioner,
Then the medics found I had parasitemia,
I broke the release valve on the catheter…
Started leaking more oftener,
Needing cleaning and a carpet washer,
My confidence began to falter,
But nothing did alter…
I’ve still got the same bloody catheter!
Pains, leaks by the plethora…
But I don’t complain… but I am a fibber!
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I couldn’t file any photos yesterday, yet this one of the sun dipping Monday night did. Amazing!
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Inchy Ode – Mark Two
I was partly inspired when the old me returned after enjoying a few hours of freedom from a life that, as I grew older, more disabled, and feeble, I was not really enjoying anymore. It did feel as if I was drugged, it’s true, but did I care? No! It was great! It flowed out so smoothly, not very well, but smoothly. Those few hours were free of hassle, although nothing had changed other than My appreciation and reaction to things? Maybe Seizure Sandra did have a go at me? This experience ended about three hours ago, and after reading my notes to do the ode, the old doubts came on again, tormenting me. Did I? Would I? Why? How? Not possible, surely? Etc…
Anyway, here it is, unedited, mistakes and all.
Today, I admit and say…
Was neither this or that way,
I sensed little at all today…
My mind seemed so far away,
Seizure Sandra seemed to go astray,
Most difficulties seemed to go mentally,
I was out of it almost permanently,
Yet, it didn’t seem to bother me…
For most of the day, I responded salaciously,
I believe I showed signs of almost sagacity?
At one time, I thought someone had drugged me!
I’ve never had a day go so worry-free!
I couldn’t have given a toss, actually…
I seemed to be living somewhat sacrosanctly,
This afternoon, around a quarter to three,
I reclaimed my veracity suddenly…
Worries, fears, & frustrations returned instantly,
I went from the rare uncaring back into misery,
Gloomy, dubiously, with my mental tortuosity,
Is this how it is for the drunk and druggie?
If someone did Mickey Fin me, ostensibly?
I hope they do it again cause it did seem to me…
Admittedly, it only lasted temporarily…
For a few hours, it was a different Inchy,
Self-hatred gone, I felt a smidge of pomposity!
Or did I dream it all? No, no, no, I didn’t!
Mostly guesses with the photos today.
Last night’s sunset.
Different shades of the urine bag.
Waste bag; I have no idea why.
There must have been a reason for it?
Horrible tasteless rolls
I remember this: the laundry returned damp, and some of it was still wet! Hung them on the airer.
Evening mug of Glengettie.
Sunset.
The computer let me save them!
Found some notes that I wrote last night.
Can’t read a word of the scribble.
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TTFNsk
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Pants, etc, ready for after the shower & shave, and medicationing duties were finalised. Took them with me into the wet room.
bottom down on the WC. The evacuation was a tacky-sticky, messy one. I did the few teeth I have left, causing, I’m afraid,
Itis, Cartilage Chloe & Carol, Bad-Balance-Barbara, and can trigger Tumble-over- or Trip-over-Trevor. 
and checked to make sure there were no more outbreaks of
This was the last job, as usual, in the wet room. Luckily, the pain does not bother me in the slightest
bit. I just laugh it off and usually start singing a song or yodelling. Today, it was Frankie Vaughan’s Don’t Stop, Twist’… 
demanding spring water bottles. I almost forgot to empty the nocturnal pouch. I then realised and stopped myself in time, as the Carer will need to confirm
the colour with the NHS colour record chart/card. Carer Chloe arrived later and said it was a match with a classification of a seventh level. Ah, well!
My beloved DVT Anticoagulation Warfarin nurse, Hristina, arrived. And she could tell the difference in my responses… even if I couldn’t.
Aha, got some from, not many, from earlier in the day.
Unfortunately, only these two above.

Bootiful!
Plenty of vehicles in today.
The last shot was as the sun was on its way down.
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Whoops! Wee-wee a bit red again.
I’m not sure what I did wrong taking this Kodak 2 photograph of the Renaurd-ridden toes and feet. They didn’t look anything like the hue the picture came out as.
Made a mug of strong Glengettie tea. Slurp!
Why the hell I ordered roasting potatoes and frozen red onions, I do not know. I have nothing to cook potatoes on or in. I can now recall buying a bag of these months ago, and they were tasteless and had to be thrown away. Three bags of cheesy bread rolls were ordered, but no sliced Milk Roll bread was ordered. Oh, dearie me!
Cream cakes? Why? Who for on a Sunday? Also, some fresh chopped white onions had been ordered? More tomatoes, two packs of different ones!
I’m glad I ordered these cheeses, though. Mature Blue Stilton cheese and extreme vintage cheese spread. Not knowing this order was coming, I’d defrosted some ready-sliced brown bread rolls for today’s meal.
,
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Ah, a bit better colour!
Terrible photo!
Waste bags condensed.
Evening mug of Glengettie tea.
Blue evening views


Gawd, I hate Starmer!
A large rise in cases percentage-wise!
I did a bit of research later for the odd below above!
All was normal here.
Slightly darker this morning.
My morning shots are getting atrocious!
Yesterday, I, Sherlock Holmesianly, searched for the signs of which houses are growing Cannabis in their lofts.
Today, it became apparent. Hehehe!
I’m unsure how I did it, but I got the battery-powered can opener to work!
Snowgoinger! Haha!





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But I got that done, and then I Phorpain gelled the cartilages of Chloe and Carole. Then, I did Arthur Itis’s left and right patellas with the same gel. Olive oiled the ears, put the
Blepha gel in the left eye, and Chloramphenicol drops into the right eye.
a pleasure doing that. 
nasal area, and the Anti-Bleed swabbed when that cleared. The Nozohaem was kept handy, but it was not required.
I cleaned up the wet room, took the waste bag and the used catheter bag to make up a larger one, and saw it was only 06:10 hrs! I’d done all that in just over two hours. But, being me, doubts lingered that I may have got the starting time or waking up time wrong. This took the edge off of my temporary period of almost glee and pride.
I took this snap just before going to the wet room. You can’t see the snow in this one, but it’s stubbornly time-melting
There was a mammoth cock-up again with the food orders. I would have sworn that I made one order for today and another with a different shop for next
Wednesday. First, the Ocado delivery arrived. Then, this evening, the Tesco order arrived! No photos can be saved again, yet it let me do these above, then died on me again.
The computer let me upload these tonight, and later it saved them. Huh!
too much for me.
The 2nd delivery
Tomatoes, potatoes, chestnuts, and chestnuts, with two really-filled ham rolls, with no-butter butter, & a dab of Marmite.
Evening all! The snow melting.

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06:15hrs: I stirred reluctantly to allow a mega-bast of wind to escape from my rear end. I removed the far-to-red coloured nocturnal pouch from the day catheter and mused briefly about yesterday’s various mistakes, cock-ups and all three of them, to me, disasters.
kitchen to get the kettle on to satisfy my urge for a mug of Glengettie tea. Then, I spotted the hard-to-miss snow covering the view from the window.
When I got to the kitchen, I decided it was in a very untidy mess and needed tending to. I started by sorting out the waste bin bags into one and placing it near the front door to the rubbish chute later on.
Finally, I made a brew of Glengettie.
Carer Sam arrived as I’d just taken some more snow photos.
taking a snap of the meal; it will make it onto here. I took this snap from the kitchenette window before prepping the daily nosh. I’m missing my stove and oven already. No chips, no lamburgers… I’ve given them away so someone else can try and enjoy them. Last week, when the oven gave up the ghost, I tried cooking them in the air fryer, but they didn’t come out well.
I made three cheesy cobs, no-butter buttered them. I added a splodge of Marmite on each roll, then German Bavarian smoked ham slices. I also added sweet pickled baby beetroots and halved mini Dutch tomatoes, slightly salted.
Washing the pots later, I took another picture of the night sky.
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I stirred around 05:30hrs, after another disturbing jumping and shooting awake imitation night’s sleep in bed.
The nocturnal catheter pouch was the brownest it’s been for a while.
First photographs.
Second photographs.
All in, up and running again!
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Later on.
An hour or so later.
Toothache Tiffany kicked off.
Teatimeish.
Not a proper meal. But the innards had been playing me up all day, and I didn’t want to annoy them anymore.
butter-buttered tomatoes, beetroot, and red onions.
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But does that include the product?
During the last four hours on the computer, I just got one photo to save! And that was one of the worst I’ve ever taken.
I got up at 05:00hrs and got the ablutions done. Took a poo, and it was two-tone in both ways. Started off taking agony and ages to get it moving; one giant torpedo plopped out, followed by soft, gooey Trotsky Terence splashes! A few weeny cuts shaving. I didn’t do all the medical checks, as the DVT nurse is going to check the read end in the examination later at the surgery; blood and Haemorrhoid Harold are to be tested again. 
Early evening sky.

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Moments of Mind-Mangling-Malcolm – Out-of-Its – Sandra’s Seizures – Mind-Blanks; Call them whatever you like, but they controlled most of this “What-Day-Is-It” – Where-am-I?” “What am I doing” day!
The day did not start well. I got up at 07:15hrs. I’ve been getting up later for some reason. The night pouch was far too deep, a colour to my liking. Searching the nurse’s bags to find a mesh catheter pouch holder took me so long. And proved to be another of my many, varied multitude of failures.
The door chime chimed. Carer Sam came in. The medications were sorted, the diabetic socks sorted, and a short natter was enjoyed.
The Kodak Camera was in a temperamental mood. It kept telling me each time I returned the card from the computer to the camera that it needed Formatting. But this will erase all content on the SD card!
soon be bare of leaves. Bootiful!
s, at only raising the leg about 2 feet to clear the bowl.
Odd that! I Phorpain gelled both Cartilages and Arthur Itis’s knees. Got the olive Oil in both earholes.
arms, hanging belly, and base of Little Inchy. The blotches and spots had returned above each eye, so they also got some barrier-creaming. I added some Germol
ene on top.
I’m a masochist, is it? I’m sure Little Inchie shrivels up even more when he sees the tube coming his way.
I went to the kitchen, got the earhole sprayer, and gave both ear canals a good blast of purified water.
I cut some Warfarin tablets in half for the Caregivers to use on their morning calls. The dosage is currently 1½ every day until the next test on Monday, November 25th. I think.
I scribbled some notes of the day on the reminder pad and made a mug of tea using 
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