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At 03:30 hrs, an electric shock woke me. I did notice as I lay there thinking of getting up, or at least the possibility of this, that the nocturnal catheter back had next to nothing in it. Then nodded off again. I stirred again back into mock-life around 05:00 hrs and was glad I did. The memory box had sent me a message that ‘we’ must get the ablutions done before anyone arrives. Not that I needed this thought prompt; the moment I whiffed my BO was enough to trigger me into frantic action.
I rolled off the bed, stood leaning on the bed bar, wobbling for a few seconds, and then carried out the catching-my-balance routine. Which took at least three minutes of strenuous exercise. Hehe! 
I considered doing a few press-ups, toes and a bit of shadow boxing, but the protection pants had come down and were hanging on the compression bandaging, and that caused me to forget about the physical jerks. It was true about the pants, though. Tsk!
I got a dressing gown on, and the innards instructed me to go to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did. The evacuation was a half & half-style. It took a lot of effort to get anything moving. And not a little pain. I was convinced that Constipation Conrad was back in charge of the action. Thinking that this would take some time, I got the 
crossword book and started having a go at it. I was doing well, as well. Then came the rapid splurge of liquid evacuating; it was all over in seconds. Unfortunately, the mess it sprayed all over took me ages to clean up. There’s always summat goes wrong! And I’d only been up for 10 or thereabouts minutes! Then the morning ablutioning and medications were started.
I got the too-large PPs off and cleaned my lower regions first. Medicated poor old 
, and Germoloided the piles. Washed my torso; it’s not easy for me, you know! All that blubber around the middle and the getting gigantic man breasts, a hell of a painful job getting to things. Applied the barrier cream around my goolies, under my man breasts and armpits. Cleaned what few teeth I could find left in the mouth. And started shaving. Astoundingly… I thought I’d not have a single nick shaving. 
, but I should have known better than getting cocky. As I applied the Brut aftershave to my face and body and sprayed the gargantuan mass around my bones and belly, I caught my 
, knocking it over. I hit my head as I bent down on the sink and simultaneously stubbed my toe as I began to get up from lifting Mickey.
Of course, this didn’t bother me in the slightest. 
I got on the computer and am new to this site. Carer Evelyn arrived. She issued the prescription medications, and Evelyn swapped the diabetic socks for me. I asked her to take the laundry down for me. Nice gal. But after she’d gone, the laundry bag was still there. Not to fret, she said she was doing the next call as well, as long as I remember to ask her again.
Onto yesterday’s blog catching-up. It was slow-going as the eyes began to play up with the double and treble visions again. It looks like the sun may come out later.
Carer Kara came to do the financials for me. She went through my emails and opened the letters I could not read. Things seemed okayish. She then kindly told me that the doctor’s surgery had rang her back about the problems with my eyes. I have to have my eyes tested first with an optician. Then, get a report on them from the surgery. Then, the doctor might refer me to the EENT for another operation on the Cataract and Glaucoma… or at least get me on the list for them. I waited 2 years for the last operation that didn’t work. My eyes are worse than they were before the procedure. Humph!
Kara then called an optician who does home calls. The lady she spoke to said the home eye test would cost me £90.
They will call Kara back after giving us a temporary date without a time of day for the visit and determining whether they can fill it. Kara put the date on the Google calendar for me. July 2nd. Carer Kara is as good as gold.
I’m not chuffed with it, but it has got to be done.
Carer Evelyn, the washing has still not been taken. At the bin bag, oh, Carer took that, I think.
But make a meal, I’m really not feeling good.
TTFN!
Morning, I’m back.
The Caregiver called but still did not know where to take my laundry; the bag remains awaiting collection. I was in the right state when she arrived, so tired and exhausted.
I sorted out and ate the meal and settled in to watch the England Euro game. I fell asleep and missed most of it. Huh!
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Food Rating: 9/10!
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Ode From Fellow Blogger & Poet Paul.
Down Nottingham, there’s an odist called Gerald.
Whose smithing of words keeps us levelled.
He’s housebound but not gagged.
By his words bad leaders are scragged.
All of these make him our prophet and herald.
Paul wrote this in a comment. Nice!
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TTFNski, each!
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Not a good start!
The morning rain rained down.
This is the second brew of the day, which should mean the last brew, as I’m restricted to only two mugs daily. I consumed it as I worked hard, confused about what I was doing and possibly making more errors than ever before.
was so kind to me. I don’t think I had more than ten shocks all day!
The precipitation persisted for a while longer.
chafe at it. Hehe! So, I think it might be getting better now. 
The rain was getting lighter.
I got a letter informing me that I will be made an appointment at the Highbury Hospital shortly, and they will let me know later by post. The photo above was taken on my last visit.
Only the odd droplet of rain falling now. I went on the balcony and took a Kodak Tim from the end car park, where the mud-slide was. Plenty of it, too.
I’m sorry I bothered with it, now! 
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again the server trolley wheel. To a certain degree, I swore, 
rather viciously, washed the things up and took this photograph from the kitchen window. I love it when a snap comes out okay.
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(Starting this blog, Tuesday Morning) 
And 
must have thought they deserved to win the prize for the ‘Bestest-Inchy-Brain-Interferers’ of the day. But that dubious honour was granted to 
and 
were both much kinder to me today.
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, repeatedly falling asleep, or a combination of the three. But little got done that I set out to do. I felt so lacklustre.
Memory promoting from photos from here on.
. Messy!
Then I carted them to the kitchenette, putting the things away in storage, the freezer, the fridge, the cupboards, the floor,
I took some Kodak Tim photographs along the way. This selection had a bottle of disinfectant (Lemon), bleach, and washing-up liquid.
Here, I have a Milk Roll, sliced bread, kitchen towels, bicarbonate of soda, soda water, and some of the economy kitchen towels, which I 
use to clean my spectacles, hearing aids, and cough into. Thick-skinned red potatoes are used to make baked spuds. Small fresh tomatoes and quick 
to cook potato cakes. A ready-made feast of cooked meals. Lamb Hotpot, Jamaican patties, Cumberland pie, and a sweet & sour battered balls meal.
I’m not going to starve! Hehehe! 
There was still room free in the fridge after packing everything into it.
Made a diversion to the wet room. For another of the 
in control, but only just this time. I sensed a possible resurgence underway from 
. After noting the lack of any post-evacuation rumbling and grumbling from the innards, I made this decision. 
s, all through the afternoon, broke my already fragile concentration.
The drizzle stopped and the grey skies turned a lovely blue hue. 
It looked to me, as the right ankle ulcer covered with the compression wrapping was doing better. That was because the wanting to scratch at the itching had returned. On the other foot, it looked like that ulcer was brewing up to do a bursting out. I can’t win. I dread the thought of having to walk with both ankles erupting and both Cartilages giving me grief. I’ll never be able to get to the surgery, clinic or hospital. Thinking this gave me a dread of having to use a wheelchair. Please, I hope not!
I took this evening’s snap from the kitchen window and then worked out my plans for the daily meal. The ready-made 
meal with the shortest sell-by date
grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop recliner, to watch the end of the ‘Heartbeat’ programme. 
as the first adverts came on the screen
Then I smelled the potatoes cooking in the oven… 
oven. 
I acquired the standard burnt finger on the oven racking. (I Germolened it.)
some Germolene-flavoured Bisto lamb gravy, adding a drop of Winiary Przyprawa seasoning into the mix. 
lamb hotpot contents out of the tray on top. 
Passed wind, bleached and drifted of into another mind-blank or sleep.
Carer Chris arrived and laughed when he saw the T-shirt that Sister Jane bought me a few years ago. He took a Kodak Tim snap of it and then of the sun setting from the balcony windows.
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Very dark.
Unknown why I took this. I can’t recall taking it.
Morning.
Struggled to get the slippers on. You can see the loose carpet I slipped on seconds later between the slippers.
Waste sorted.
Bootiful!
Food delivery.
4 Frazzles were ordered and charged for, and 2 arrived.
Taken to the right.
Taken to the left, both from the kitchen.
Had to patch up the compression dressing, then do the usual medicationings, olive oiled the wears, and Germoloided the haemorrhoids. Acne and Barrier creams were applied.
Had a struggle to get the PPs on today.
It was as painful as it had ever been.
Talk about making myself jump, which, of course, got the Cartilages playing up. With the compression tackle on the right leg, I can no longer use Phorpain to ease the agony. Hehehe! 
The carer arrived and got the one odd bamboo diabetic sock and slippers on for me.
Fantastic sun rays are coming through the cloud to the right of the balcony. Had the alien invasion started? Hahaha!
Lamburgers with sliced tomatoes in sourdough rolls, & a can of carrots & peas were cooked and served up. A pot of mandarin segments in orange jelly was the day’s dessert.
What a great hue later on!
Here’s the brolly revealed that I could not find!
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spouted out with a flourish of thick, deep red fluids when the nurse took off the sealing pad. She was not pleased with that. She noticed the bruise on my chin, and I explained my Non-Epilectic Seizure and told her how I could not recall going into the wetroom and did not even know I’d taken a tumble or if I’d passed out or not. I just came around mangled in the shower chair with a bleeding gum, broken tooth, sore chin and a headache. She said for me to ring my doctor and her. I’ve gone out of sync again. 
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For some reason, as I was cooking, my mind went back to Rationing. Many years ago, when I was on a fishing holiday with Bill, Malcolm and Jock, we had just arr
ived at Lockerbie in Scotland. I was backing the van into the car park, and Bill, a butcher, said out of the blue, “I wish they would bring rationing back; I made a fortune with all the fiddles…” 
I forgot to add the garden peas. The potatoes were grand, but the vegan pie was not so good, although the gravy was absolutely delicious!
I’ve had since they started three months or so ago
had returned with a certain degree of nastiness and persistence. 
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The ailments were all in good form, working hard to hurt me in Lucifer’s name again. However, I’m not complaining about; up until now, she has only shocked me about eight times since I rose from my sleeping position(about 12 hours ago). Note that I say sleeping position, not from sleeping. Because when I was on the hospital bed supplied so kindly for me, I think she tired herself out with repeated zapping. 
Has only had one shaking spell, which lasted for around two minutes. Hang on, I’m waiting to see if she starts again. No, it’s all quiet with Shirley’s Shoulder. Good! Of course, there’s always something else to keep me nervous and grumbling. Three hours ago, I’d just put the kettle on, and as I went to the fridge to get the milk and opened the door, 
gave way. I grabbed the window ledge to avoid hitting the deck. My hand slipped off the ledge, and as I went down, I headbutted the clock. It no longer works. The bruise is disappointingly faint and small, so no sympathy-seeking success is achieved. It did raise a laugh from the weekend Carer, though. Still, I took a Kodak Tim selfie; it might get some sympathy from… Nae, no, it won’t! Hehe!
A brighter-looking catheter bag first thing.
I can’t stop to make a meal now. I nipped into the kitchen to prepare lamb burgers and potato chunks that would cook in half an hour. I put them in the oven. I hastily returned to the TV and computer and found I’d missed a second England goal! A Kane header.
The weekend Carers 2nd call arrived. Nibbles and drinkie.
Rescued by Carer Chris photo.
I do no know which day this was made, but I wish I had some spuds to reproduce it.
I’m still working on the blog, but it’s slow work, and my eyes are getting blurry and I’m having double vision again.
Looking bleak early on in the day?
I went to check the food in the oven. It’s still dark out there. The food is not ready because I put it on too low a heat. 
Lamb burgers and potatoes well burnt!
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I jerked awake and spotted the Gh, so colourful dollop of urine in the catheter this morning!
but she didn’t have me over this time. I knew this was going to be a painful day. 
it very much
There was room for more after getting the fresh stuff in the fridge! Rare, that is.
arrived.
I’d better get some nosh made, then. I’ll take a Kodak Tim shot of the view first. Then, I can concentrate on the cooking and not burn myself. Maybe…
Two baked potatoes were halved with added non-butter butter, black pepper, and sea salt. Milk Roll sliced bread, sufficient to use one for each vegetarian sausage, to be wrapped in and dunked in the tomato sauce with pickle, pot. (Am I making you puke or hungry?) A pot of lemon mousse to follow. I even considered having some salt & vinegar crisps afterwards, but of course, my 
dedication to the doctor’s list of what to not eat is, as you know, sacrosanct to me, so I didn’t have any 
by 
. He was so persistent and almost nasty with it that I got up and meandered around the flat, half-asleep. But discovered in 
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0545 hrs: I stirred, realising I was not lying in bed (I can be quick sometimes, Hehe!).. It only brought back last night’s farcical, demented, horrible series of calamities and Whoopsiedangleploppery to mind.
and I stood up. It was 
almost a major operation getting everything cleaned up and medicated! 
Then, the real challenge: getting into the Protection pants!
door. This usually helps. (I was wrong about it this time), I used Picker-Upperer-Petal to move the PPs out so I could lift the left foot with the right hand to get it in the pants left hole… are you following this? Hehe! 
came with a new Carer, Sash, I think her name 
nd titties. Then she looked at the leg swelling, ulcers, and new growths. Then she called the District Nurse’s place. They will be sending a Community Nurse to look at them later on. 
regret saying that, of course.
Carer Christopher arrived. He gave me some Peptac and a painkiller and looked at the state of the legs with 
the dressing now on the ulcer. And got carried away with Kodak Timing them all. 
Were increasing in frequency now.
MEAL COCK-UP! I thought I ought to have some of the Air Fry crinkle chips I ordered in error months ago to make room in the freezer. So I did. I threw the rest of them away afterwards. Amazingly, some tasted okay, and others were too hard to cope with my lack of teeth. 
I took this evening’s view, complete with blotches. Slightly miffed with myself.
I found it in two seconds! 
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introduction for the blog before. In a way, I’ve been acting like Jeckle & Hyde and Steptoe & Son, struggling to communicate with myself. My moods were ever-changing, going into reverse modes and back again into sort of semi-contented ones. My fears would rise, and minutes later, nothing mattered. Then, I’d sink back into a self-pity mode again. It has to be a record for me today; I went into so many Mind-Blanks, or maybe they were what the doctor calls them, Non-Epilectic Seizures, I’ve ever had before. Accompanied by Memory blanks, some of them unbelievable, even to me. I had to keep checking what date it was; I forgot if a Carer had been or not. As for where the utilities needed were on CorelDraw, everything was taking me so long and still coming out wrongly. Even doing the graphics for this blog, I saved them all to different folders, and I spent hours trying to trace them, I ended up thinking it would be quicker to do them all again. Which was a big mistake; it wasn’t any quicker at all, the opposite, in fact! 
got around to doing my ablutions. Apart from not being able to stop the bleeding, shaving cuts (4). After completing the ablutions and medication duties, the only nasty bit was when I was trying to get the Protection Pants on. With both legs in a delicate situation, I lost my balance a few times and acquired some new bruises on the left leg, the cheek, and the right knuckles. But I didn’t go over; I hit the shower chair, door and sink instead.
05:10hrs: I sprang awake. In need of the Porcelain Throne. Emptied the catheter pouch and off to the wet room. Where was I flabbergasted to see blood in 
the bag? Seconds later, it soon returned to a normal dark colour. This baffled me. I’ll keep my eye on it. If it happens again, I’ll not mess about this time; I’ll call for an ambulance.
It was well into the afternoon before I completed the Saturday blog. I posted it and emailed the links. Took this snap of the view on offer. Kodak worked!
After hours of preparing the graphics for today, I felt a little proud of how well I was doing, but then I found the mess I’d made when saving the files
‘Give Me Sunshine’, and out came the sun!
but it seems to have stopped now. At least I smelt a bit sweeter afterwards. 
I removed the dodgy Asda potato cubes, and got the few left into the oven.
Shelled the pod peas.
Shortcrust pastry pastie. (Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hahaha!), fresh pod peas, tomatoes and baked potato
I got the pots washed, and as I was doing so, I felt a warm, 
wet sensation in the lower regions; it 
was Little Inchies Fungal Lesion bleeding. 
flabby, wobbly belly folds and underneath the armpits.
But did give both of the Cartilages and Arthur Itis knees a good rub-in Of 
the Phorpain™ Gel. My rear end was blessedly washed and medicated with the soothing Germoloids™ ointment.
from there. It must have been loud, else I would not have heard it!
Naturally, to make more mess, it was only the bottle that was carbonated! 
gave way while I was doing this! 
I did take this Kodak of the night view earlier but forgot to put it on. Sorry about that.
I’d left the small picker-upperer on the chair! I don’t 
need to tell you how painful it was or where it struck. On top of all the other ailments playing up after the workout in the kitchen. Once again, it was back to the medicine cabinet in the wet room. Cleaned the rear end up and applied some Daktacort this time.
prevented any thought of getting to sleep. This was probably due to the joy and ebullient nature that 
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This shot on the right is of a freshly bathed, medicated, shaved, and totally confused, Mentally disturbed, depressed, discouraged, disheartened, downcast, demoralised, distressed, disconcerted, dimwit, Inchy, with much help from 
. This was taken on Friday morning. Maryam could not have arrived at a better time to drag me out of my sinking lower mood. Her help, kindness, timing and patience were much appreciated, as she helped me finish shaving, getting the new PPs and dressing gown on. That was so good of her. She then got the diabetic socks on my legs (Well, we thought that was the best place for them, Hehehe!) and issued the medications for me. Bless Her!
A glossy hue?
A morning view.
Took an anti diarrhoea capsule.
Later shot from the kitchen.
Carer Maryham.
First of the two mugs allowed.
Afternoon cloud views.
Urine lighter. I wasn’t drinking it, you understand.
I’d just taken the tray of potatoes out of the oven, using the new oven gloves to be on the safe side, of course.
from Cartilage Carole. It rested on the lower shin, long enough to have taken off Vascular Vanessa’s shell and burnt off a patch of skin! I later discovered another burnt finger. (That’s three now this week!) I’m not sure how I got that one.
The food had gone a little cold, but I didn’t want to warm it up because I’d already burned it before taking it out of the oven. Then it would have been too hard for my poor few rotting teeth left to use. Which reminds me, I must take a Codeine with so many things paining me at the same time now. Hehe! Still, I did quite enjoy it.
I had the second and last brew of the day.
An extra competition is called for. This one reminded me of an old black-and-white Police TV series that ran for donkey years, well into colour TV times. Can you guess what it was?