Illusionable Inchie: Sunday 21st April 2024

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The three most annoying things currently harassing  me are the following:

① Peripheral Neuropathy Pete dying off neurotransmitters are not letting me sense the keyboard buttons as I press them, resulting in far too many corrections were and are needed; no doubt I’ve missed some of them. Ruining my concentration.  
② The ankle electric shocks are much more frequent.
③ By far, the worst of these handicaps, ailments, pains, and frustrations is the unregulated nasty, agony-giving twinges emanating from the poor Little Inchie via the inserted catheter tube. This was much more unfortunate because I could not find a position where they ease off. I can sit still and be relatively pain-free, and then they return without me doing anything! I’ve tried adjusting the Protection Pants, but that doesn’t change anything. Yet, at times, I can be hobbling along with the walking stick, and the pain dissipates? As for bending down or stretching, they are a no-no.
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I rose from the bed at 05:10 hrs. First, I detached the nocturnal catheter pouch.

Then, I went to the wet room; the Porcelain Throat was needed.
Just a little painful.

This is a fantastic view from the kitchen window. Unfortunately, the blotches were caught in all the external photographs today, Humph! 

Working on the blog, and a Carer arrived. Same chap as last week, a nice young man. He issued the medications and got the diabetic socks on my legs.
With the pain from Little Inchie, I asked him if he could help me put on the just-delivered Depend pants. He willingly agreed to help me out.

I got the pants pulled up, and that instant, the pain level from Little Inchie trebled!
It was torture! I soon changed my mind, and at the same time, self-loathing erupted when I realised what I’d done… Again! I ordered the wrong size pants, Small instead of large! I’d pissed myself off, something wicked! The genitals were crushed as the catheter tube pulled tight! I grabbed the scissors post-haste and cut the PPs off. 
Then I asked the lad if he’d help me put on a pair of normal PPs. He was patient with me and assisted me once more. The pain continued anyway, off and on, without evident causation? These white pants are so thick that I think they catch Little Inchie more than the slimmer ones, but they are just as effective as the Depend ones. I ensured the lad was treated to nibbles and drinkies by showing my appreciation for his time. It was his last night shift call, and I felt a smidge sad at keeping him from getting home.

After he’d departed, I made a brew of Glengettie. I took this snap with the usual blotches on it. Nice colouring, all the same.

I made up a waste bag and got on with the blogging, albeit stumblingly and error-ridden. These white pants continued hurting things below. I took an extra Codeine, hoping it might ease things. Huh! Of course, it did nothing to help pain-wise.

Carer Kimberley arrived. She knew I was in pain and showed concern; bless her. I told her of the earlier woes with Little Inchie. I decided to hand her the box of 30 Depend pants: no, 29 now I’ve tried on and scissored off one pair. Hahaha! My wondering wrongly cost me a good bit of cash! But thought that if I sent the box to Meridian to issue or use someone else… with less of a midriff on them, and they have also been catheterised, then they could possibly use them in the event that they run out!
♬ If I can help somebody as I grovel along,
Help somebody with Protection Pants or a song
If I can help somebody from doing wrong,

Do a bit of good before I’m gone…
Then, my living shall not be in vain! ♬

I then ordered some large protection pants from the Amazon site. I made double-sure I’d ordered the correct size this time! Well, I did that last time (Well, I thought that I had) and still got it wrong, didn’t I? These were also dearer, but they looked more comfortable and seemingly had a waistband on them. We’ll see when they arrive. Amazon said they would deliver on Tuesday, which is good cause I’m going to Nottingham City Hospital tomorrow. To have the knees and ankles checked for Arthritis and Cartilage problems. Now there’s a word... problems! I just had a glancing idea for an ode, then. I’ll make a note and try it out for tomorrow’s Ode… then again, maybe not. Cause the lift to the City is coming really early, and I need to get things ready to go with me, they gave me a list… When I find it, I’ll check what’s on it. I must finish blogging early today to do the shower & ablutions and ready the clothing. I hope that a carer comes in the morning to help me with the pants and trousers, socks and shoes on, make sure I’ve got everything sorted and make sure that the flat is left safely… I’m nervous now, just thinking about what can go wrong! There’s no limit to that!

There were so many blotches on this snap of a puffer cloud that I was disappointed. I’ve tried cleaning the lens with a cleaner stick and impregnated tissues. Yet still they appear? Such are the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchie to curse with lousy luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. Worry and confuse me! Cataract Katie, Neuropathy Pete, Doreen Dementia and Incogniscent Iris are the main culprits. There are others, of course.

There are beautiful clouds in the sky. But I suppose that’s where one would expect them to be. Hehehe!
I took this one from the balcony without opening the windows. I can see just one botch in it, which is hard to differentiate amongst the clouds.

The day catheter bag nearly caught me out yet again, with it suddenly filling up so quickly.

Carer Colin, I think it was, came on the next visit. He was a pleasant lad, but I often found it hard to hear what he was saying.

Later, the sun burst through, and I took this shot of the virtually mud-less end car park. A jolly good mixture of vehicle colours was on show for our perusal. The light blue one, as per usual, parked on the yellow chevron ‘do-not-park-here’ lines. But hey, why should I bother?

Getting a smidge darker out there now. Another gorgeous selection of clouds to find figures in!

 

Then, blow me, if half an hour later, out came the sun again, forcing her way through the ever-darkening clouds. Mayhap, a ‘Goodnight all!’ message? Hehehe!

Better get some fodder sorted out, then… off to the kitchenette, and I conjured up a simple meal for a simple, tired old man.
I enjoyed this one, especially the cunningly cooked potatoes in the crock pot that I sliced while still hot, sprayed with oil, and put into the preheated oven for ten minutes with the vegetable pastie. I ate it all up, washed the utensils and plate, and swiftly fell asleep watching the goggle box.

Carer Richard arrived.
He sorted the medications, and I asked him to remove the diabetic socks. I asked him if he could call earlier in the morning and explain the hospital visit.
Said my farewells and climbed into the hospital bed so kindly supplied for me. It took a while for me to get into a position that didn’t give pain from the catheter tube, and I was soon off on the land of nod.
Ahhh!

TTFNski

Inchy Inadmissibly: Saturday 20th April 2024

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Not a lot passed last night.
But it’s a decent colour this morning.

Not ‘arf!

Mug of Glengettie tea, with four biscuits dunked.

Those makes that come and go on the lens are back. No matter what I try to clean it with, they suit themselves, whether of not to smudge my Kodak Camera photographs. Tsk!

I took another shot and zoomed in a bit. But the smudges are there in this one, too.

Carer Christopher arrived. Nibbles and drinkies were selected. I’d lost the receipt for the Heron Food Store. I’d been searching for ages, and Chris found it!

The smudge was still there in the end car park shot!

The catheter supplies box and the new straps that Kara had organised were delivered that day. She thinks they may ease the pressure on Little Inchy. I hope so!
Kara will not be back until Monday or Tuesday, I hope they help. Oh, I just said that!

Brightening up out there now as the sun intrudes on the rather pretty view. The smudge is still on.

I felt it coming, I thought?

Carer Sam arrived; I’ve not seen her for ages.
Painkillers, and she did the safety checks.
After she was gone, I discovered that the Alert Alarm Wristlet was not on my arm  Ah! I must have left it in the wet room. But no, there were no signs of it in there. On, around, and under the bed were searched. Nope! In the cupboards, drawers, etc., Nope!
Hoping I didn’t need it, I got on with the blogging for a few hours.

Photo to the left.
This one is to the right.
I do love these puffer clouds.

I went into the kitchen again to prep the meal.
As gave me a turn, I grabbed hold of the draining board to steady my elf. And there, lying on the kitchen towel, in the draining rack, was the wristlet alarm! Gorrit!

I made a vegetable stew today. All I needed to do was to bake some potato bits to add to the vegetables and sauce already in the saucepan. No smudge?

I woke up, although I wasn’t unaware I’d fallen asleep. I could see the mess I had made on the blog, presumably in a stupor of some sort. A  was engaged, and I nervously checked the cooker, taps, etc., with surprising results.

① The taps were all off. ② The fridge door was shut… and ③ I realised that I had already eaten the vegetable stew, ④ and washed the pots!
When I returned to the front room, another surprise surprised me! The evening Caregiver had already  been. I realised further that this was correct, as the diabetic socks had been removed. I had not the vaguest memory until I noticed  his. I had to check the Caregiver’s log to see who had called! It was Christopher. The nibble box contents had been significantly reduced, so I knew it had to have been either Chris or Helen. Bits of foil from the medications were on the carpet. Haha!

I then proceeded to fall asleep properly this time. I didn’t have the energy or willpower to sort out the blog mistakes anyway.

The last call was from Carer Vi tor. Medicated me and attached the night bag for me.
These Carers’ names cannot be guaranteed to be accurate. Not in the state I’m in.

I found them! Eventually… well, alright then, I found two of them, or maybe one? I can’t tell the difference in the lower left circle with the prawn. Is it a shrimp? I’m not optimistic about the chocolate, either.

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Fare Thee All Well!

Insecure Inchy: Sat 6 Apr 24, I made a decision!

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Dark again.

Refilled the carer’s & nurses’ nibble boxes.

My knees are bad this morning.

Motionless.

Carer Christopher called. The little scallywag.

First view with Kodak Tim.
The clouds are still different today.

Whoops!

Off to the wet room to empty the catheter pouch out, and tried again on the Throne...
Oh, dear!

Blogging was a slow job; I’m going to have to give up.
Carer Joanne turned up earlier than usual. Always nice to see her. A little laugh available is good!

The Mystery Chest Pains are back now. Suppose it might be something to do with the reluctance of the bowels to produce anything? 

The clouds are even more beautiful now.

I’m blogging away, but now I’m bothered with the card reader reading the cards. I’m fed up! It takes about four tries to read the cards every time I use it. Not good! Gloom and doom!
Later I took another shot of the kitchen sky view.

Going to get something to eat now.
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Still too dark.

The shrunken in the wash new dressing gown was washed twice, and now the pockets are hanging off, and the belt loops are loose, ready to drop off.

Any idiot could work this one out…
But I couldn’t!

Sorry about this…
But, my physical and mental conditions are making things too time-consuming for me to cope with writing a full blog. I’ve been on the computer often for 18 hours on the trot. Stopping for nurses, deliveries, and/or Caregivers calling. Getting back to what and where I was is so confusing. Thus, taking me even more time to catch up and work rings out. I so loved doing them as well. 
I’ve decided to try to do the top part, including Cartoons, Odes, Snippets, etc. Medical appointments, and will add any photographs taken if I have time and the computer lets me. Maybe a description of any Whoopsiedangleplops, if any. (IF? Hahaha!)
I’ve had to make this decision, and making decisions is one of my later-in-life problems. The mind and memory blanks and now the non-epileptic seizures are getting a little more frequent, so much that often don’t mention them as anything worthy of going in the blog. They are diurnal.
My concentration seems to have retrograded this morning; hence, this is written while things are clearer in my head. (How long for? Who Knows.) 

They soon returned. The vacillating, wavering, indecision, hesitancy, uncertainty, hemming and hawing, shilly-shallying, dilly-dallying, concentration-distracting, fretting, worrying, fussing, panicking, and stressing are rife, too often for me now. 
disconcertions, embarrassments, self-loathings, misperceptions, tizzies, misunderstandings, apprehensiveness, topsy-turviness, vagueness, and an invaded brain full of a salmagundi of unwanted moods and modes, including, at times, the odd hallucination, fantasy, and stubborn delusion.
Common sense rarely makes an appearance. But it 
did this morning, making this decision!
I still await the appointment to see a Dementia psychologist. Glaucoma, cataracts and knee operations. But it is the brain that needs help more, I think. I can’t find anyone with the same symptoms to talk with. I believe FND is part of the cause.

After talking to the lady at the audio clinic and finding out that she had FND, I found I had every symptom she mentioned worrying about. The effects are so weird that she said she believes no one believes her – ditto! But it’s not easy to understand or diagnose, let alone treat it. I agree with her about her frustrations. My Doctor gives me the same feelings. It must be hard for anyone to take in.

Glad I got this on record while my head is clearer now. I can get back to being me when my mind abandons me again and wanders off. 

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TTFN, Keep Safe Each ♥

Inadvisability Inchy: Fri 29 Mar 2024

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I made a deliberate mistake in this Ode; Ahem!
I wrote Further, instead of another word
. Would
anyone like to guess what it should have been?
Deliberate mistake… I am a fibber!

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Much more out-of-it than with-it today.
Moments for sheer frustration, littered with strange, weird, eerie, unaccountable moments of ‘Soditisms’.
During these spasms, I was so high that nothing seemed to bother me in the least. But, they were short and rare and were usually followed by a Depression full of self-loathing, then a realisation that I am to blame for my past guilt. Then, the circle would start again.
I think I’ve mentioned these to the Doctor, but I’m not sure. Maybe not; I’ve not seen her for many months.
On the bright side, the throughout the day, added up to only four!
I left the hot water tap (faucet) running again and burnt the food in the oven. The eyes are terrible nowadays. Any distance and things seem to have another image above themselves. Like a shadow, but clear. I’m looking now through the balcony window, and all the houses look like they have two roofs.
The catheter is a lot less painful than yesterday, mind you. My coughing has also calmed down compared to last night. I’ve walked into nothing. Fair do’s, I’ve dropped the cutlery, saucepan, washing up bottle, picker-upperer, tablets and my pen (four times).
So, all in all, a typical day.
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Night pouch.

Medicationings.

My ankles look fine.

The first emptying of the day bag.

Opening the balcony windows.

Over the next five hours, the views remained similar.
I kept nipping out to take a view or two.
Between making a mess of this blog.
Gorgeous!
Wonderful.
Magnificent.
Wunderbar!

I was busying away and getting a little done.
Caregiver calls only confused me. After they left, I found it nearly impossible at times to get back to what I was working on, often veering off to the wrong project and getting deeper into a mind-muddle. Memory-Blanks were rampant. For some reason, I did not keep up with the memory notes on the pad. Now, so long later (Saturday A.M. started on this section), the photos help prompt me a little. Not many of them, either. Any slight disturbance, change whatever, and I was lost again. Sorry about this

Fifth Catheter Bag Emptying (I think).

Gave up computing. I was in a long-lasting period of haziness. But can recall Carer Christopher arriving.
Cheeky-Faced Chris. Hehe!
While talking, I remembered I’d left the sausages cooking in the oven… yet again!
I hastened hobblingly to the kitchen.
Got the mini sausages, which were not burnt too much, into the pan of BBQ beans and tomato sauce with chunky vegetables and stirred while rewarding them,
I ate up most of them with two brown baguettes.

I took this night view and got settled into the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus. But the mind would not let me rest enough to capture the bliss of sleep. Immediately started an attack of lambasting, self-hating, repeating so many things, wrong choices I’d made over the tears. Even an occasion that took place when I was just an ankle-biter, which I was not proud about doing… it was horrible being forced to listen to myself, listing and bringing back to mind the shame and self-disgust from the time all those so many years ago.
As I tossed and twisted, I felt the Catheter tube pulling on Little Inchie. I 
realised then that I had not attached the Nocturnal Pouch yet. So, I did!

By the time I’d fumbled about to get the bags linked, my & both went off simultaneously. Miraculously, bearing in mind the viciousness of the leg dance, I didn’t go over or tumble. I’ve not had a fall all week. . I may regret saying this later, Haha!

TTFNski each!