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I don’t want anyone to think I’m jealous of their wealth & power. Or that could gladly assassinate the pensioner-killer Starmer for his heartless crippling and murdering pensioners by taking away their winter fuel allowance. Or his lying by omission to get elected. Or, his taking back-handers worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. His bland, conceited, self-wealth improving, voter-contempt, but I am.
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After yet another night of jumping awake, at 05:00, I gave up trying for the elusive sleep, and I gingerly removed the nocturnal catheter pouch, grabbed a hold of 
and off to the kitchen for safety checks and got the kettle on. The taps, cooker and fridge looked okay, and I had what must have been one of the longest-ever bubbly-sounding passings of wind that I can ever remember. It was pongy and two-tone at times! I 
diverted to the wet room without any delay.
I got seated, but nothing more than wind came out for ages. Once the motion began, I thought that would never end!
It was like wet mud to look at in the bowl. This time, it was three-coloured: black spots with light and dark brown.
Cleaning it up took me years. I managed to knock over, and he fell against the floor cabinet. I then had one less bottle of the Glaucoma Latanoprost eye drops; the cap shot off.
MAYHEM – POWER CUTS
At this stage of writing this, I had a power cut! I lost all my notes and reminders, but I did get some photos, and such mayhem and panic have not hit me so badly in ages.
I was stuck in total darkness; it was late evening then.
The notes from earlier in the day were found, but not the late ones that were on Word, which got lost in a total of four Poer-Cuts suffered over a three-hour period.
Obviously, I could not do any blogging or emailing anything on the computer until Thursday morning. (Now)
POWER-CUT DISASTER STORIES
1️⃣ I was cooking the meal. Sudden darkness, absolute darkness. Panic gripped me. I searched for the mobile and wind-up torch. At that time, I could not find the torch. So, had to use the light of the mobile to get around. My intention was to make sure the cooker had been turned off. Then I realised that things were worse than I thought. The battery on the mobile was weakening, and I needed it to call for help because the Alarm Alert line & landlines were not working. I rang the preciously kind Jenny to ask for advice on getting help. I didn’t know the numbers to ring. Jenny, being Jenny, bless her, said she would come up to have a look. She’d just got out of the shower. I felt embarrassed.
2️⃣ Jenny came in; I didn’t hear her, and she did something on the power box, and the power came back on. I told her what I was doing, and she spoke with someone on the back-on-line emergency alert line again. She turned off the cooker at the box. Told me not to use it until it’s been checked over. She
said, ‘I’m was to ring her in ten minutes to update her on the situation’. I’d be lost without Jenny.
3️⃣ Ten minutes later, the power went off again. This time, I was again in the kitchen, and as it was dark, I turned to get the stick, tripped on something, and fell, hitting my face on the radiator. Jenny returned again. She reset the power and asked if I’d used the cooker, which I hadn’t. The power was now restored by Jenny, and the telephones & alarm came back on. Jenny spoke with them again. Jenny reminded me not to use the cooker, but I could use the microwave.
4️⃣ I started to sort out a different meal that could be cooked in the microwave, and the Power died again! Jenny came to the rescue once more! She restored the power supply yet again and told me she would report things to the authorities for me in the morning. If it does go off again, I was to ring her. Reminding me not to use the kettle or cooker.
Thankfully, the power stayed on, and I finished the oddly cooked beef in black bean sauce. Cleaned up the kitchen and settled to eat the meal, watching ‘Heartbeat’ on the TV. Thinking about how things would have gone without Jenny’s help. Precious, inestimable, & helpful. ♥
The following may be out of order, with part of the reminders lost in the power cuts, but these things did occur. I think.
Carers Shaquille, Israel & Kimberly called. Kimberly helped me get an appointment with the doctor and the Chemist for the flu jab sorted for me. Flu Tuesday 5th Nov, and the RSC at the surgery Monday 11th Nov, in Carrington.
Yesterday, during the power failures, I lost every photograph I had previously taken and saved to file. Arghh!
Shortest blog ever on file!
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THE STATE OF INCHY
And also, I can’t use my cooker or kettle,
I still can’t manually pittle,
Electric shocks up my leg, still tingle,
The catheter tube is so painful!
My lack of sleep is diabolical,
My memory gets more fragmental,
Waiting for Glaucoma lasering at the Hospital,
Life is no longer worth being experimental,
The hot tap runs at barely a trickle,
Plans, wants & needs are theoretical,
Thoughts, hopes are unphilosophical,
Like this ode, there are unpoetical,
I’m verging on becoming pathetical,
My dreams are all sarcophagal,
Getting on my rear-end a carbuncle!
My concentration, once congenital,
It is now non-existent, gone, choplogical,
Depressions, fears, worries, self-inimical,
Mentally, life is a scramble, a scrattle…
With myself, every day, I battle,
I once socialised, now I feel extrinsical.
Life’s become eristical & demagogical!
Now, with cock-up, & outages electrical,
No kettle or stove, it ruins things gastronomical,
I need someone clever, kind, & intellectual…
A Doctor who deals with things lunatical?
To read this Poesy or Limerick,
About me being physically & mentally sick,
Use their skills of the neuropsychologic,
They may advise summat neuroradiologic?
Issue medications that may do the trick,
With mayhap periwinkle & phenobarbital,
Or operate on my sincipital?
If it was all a film, it would be tragicomical,
But, primarily pointless and illogical!.
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TTFNski!
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Regretfully, the computer did not let me save many pictures today. I have not recorded my thoughts here to avoid being prosecuted for blogging them, as they were unacceptable for publication. 
shock up my right leg. I was waking up so often so often. I gave up on the silly thought and expectation of getting any sleep and got up around 04:00hrs. The first thing I noticed as the brain fog cleared was the scary colour of the urine in the catheter bag as I removed it from the day pouch. I took a cracking snap of it, and it came out the exact same colour & hue as my eyes saw it. That might get me some sympathy, I thought. But, no!
After Richard had left, the need for the Porcelain Throne arose, and I hastened to the wet room. I sat down in time today, avoiding a third day of embarrassment by not making it in time! Trotsky Terence ruled again, as I knew he would by the rumbling and almost squelching from the innards.
I was getting increasingly frustrated with the computer and went to the kitchen to do the safety checks. During last night’s cooking, I discovered 
that I’d left the slow cooker turned on for about 18 hours without realising because there was nothing in it. Well, there are now
rigmarole was completed for the third time today, it let me save photos of it its own choice but not others. I’m fed up! Here they are. I snapped these first thing this morning. But didn’t do such an excellent job of them as 
I’d hoped to this time. 
The photo I’d taken of the returned slipper was saved and used. Oh, I’d better check that they haven’t fallen off the towel trickle heater. They’ve
all dried now, last night’s pee’d on tartan-coloured slipper I put in the laundry bag.
Not the foggiest what they were about.
I’m getting to the point of no return, I think.
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Up late today, 06:35hrs.
I went to do the safety checks in the wet room and kitchenette.
could get the things ready, Caregiver Christopher arrived.
Fury, Rick Nelson, and Adam Faith songs—well
shattered.
Then, I tried again to get these two photos, this time on CorelDraw and into this blog. 
I took this one earlier, and this time, it was saved!
This is a mystery photo.
I ate more biscuits today than I ever have before. I blame the hassle 
and smelt good, but it tasted the same as the 
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I woke at about 06:24,
Bother from Toothache Tiffany,
I took two shots from the kitchen window,
To the left and right, in auto,
Royal Anya potatoes & chicken,
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inspirational, crumb-containing recliner. The broken, ever-wakening sleep was no worse or better than struggling to get in and out of bed. I must have had ten bad nights on the trot now. Talking of trot, my first aim of the day was to get to the Porcelain Throne ASAP. The rumbling and grumbling started as I detached the nocturnal pouch from the day bag. Trotsky Terence won the battle, as he had for eleven days now, but Constipation Conrad was trying a counter
attack, and there were some small globules and lumps in the basin. Once again, all the evacuated varieties are composed of almost black and light brown/karki. It was colourful, almost, but messy. I had a body scrub and medicated the areas in need. I didn’t shave, but I may brave it to have one later.
session, I went to the kitchen to check the taps, etc. and took a photo of the dark, foggy view that was on offer from the kitchen window. 
first two. But the other four, which had caught some seagulls flying on them, were not getting saved for some reason. The old photos I was saving had disappeared! I tried renaming the old images first, but that didn’t work either. They still went off into the ether. Saving was difficult enough before this happened! Grrr! I can’t take much more of this.
one was. Another message with links to suitable types of Tablets on Amazon. I tried them and got this message.
This is a very long-winded bit. Skip it if you like. 
Again! 
I was serving the meal and took a shot of the late-evening view from the kitchenette window.
Doesn’t it look horrible?
k jelly, was lovely! 
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05:45hrs: I woke up after a much better night’s sleep.
I sat on the bed, and a deep
oven on, or the 
Now, that was a different evacuation than most of them. Two-tone, distinctly brown and black, in what looked like cube-shaped mini-rugby balls (about eight) that plopped out simultaneously… followed by a mini-torrent of almost liquid jelly. The word I’m looking for is, Gooey! But no Whoopsiedangles today, just that I had to spend so long cleaning.
Did the teggies, and then I nervously tackled having a shave. Making absolutely sure I did not use the razors anywhere near the mystery wound on the back of my head. It went well. Two new shaving nicks, for they were hardly worth mentioning; a splash of the Brute soon stopped their flow. I managed a mini-
, which was quickly followed by another. 
. I got in the kitchen to find the hot water tap running, thankfully only slowly. As I almost lunged at the tap to turn it off, I 
against the corner of the trolley. I merely laughed these Accifauxpas off. No swearing or getting upset about things whatsoever. 
Things worsened when I returned to the wet room to shave. 
As Sham did the paperwork, I asked if she could see the marks on my face. The delivery driver gave me an odd look; I 
thought he must have seen the state on my face. Sham did, but it had almost left when I looked in the mirror. It almost needed a magnifying glass to still see it.
I was doing the second of the Ccleaner runs, and after this one, the computer let me get just one of the photos that had been refused earlier onto the blog. It was, I think, the third one I took this morning from the kitchen window. Not very good, but I like to show the dozens of my failed photos along with the odd one that comes out right. Hahaha!
Late afternoon, and I took these two snaps of the wonderful bubbly clouds.
maybe?
Sunset
Undercooked carrots, teeth-breaking beef, hardly any gravy, overcooked garden peas, crumbly potatoes… well ¾ of a small potato. The lemon yoghourt was nice. Hehe!
After sunset shots…
After sunset shot.
After sunset shot.
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So I got the computer on without taking any photos and visited the Porcelain Throne. 
& stupidly, I did!
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A bloody day today at times. Shaving and later on in the catheter bag. I immediately started gulping water for an hour or so non-stop, and the urine was back on an NHS scale of 4. Which took away the hassle of calling an ambulance. For example, I had to call one after a tumble last time. I lay there on the floor for over four hours and eventually, agonisingly, got back up. Just as well, cause no ambulance arrived. But my back, which I’d fallen on, pained me for over two weeks afterwards. Thank heavens, I’d got a few doses of morphine vials in the medical drawer to use. But the other parts of the day went well… again! Well, no, that’s a fib. I had computer 
is having a good time belting lightning up my right leg all day up to now, but not frequently, just now and then. That is enough. Thank you very much. The Cartilage gals Chloe and Carole have done a fair share of giving way. But my cunningly being sat down at the computer for so long limited their opportunities. Har-Har!
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nod. I woke 2-hours later and took off the catheter bag. The urine was a 6 on the NHS scale colour card checklist. So I had a good swig of soda water. 
Well, it’s been the usual extended sit on the Porcelain Throne, waiting for, urging the evacuation to continue from its peaking out point, which was stretching things painfully. 21 cracks on the ceiling, one crossword clue solved, and ten minutes later, the evacuating product began to move. 
The shaving caused another slight loss of blood. People say things happen in threes, so I wonder what the next vampire experience might be.
As I was placing the sorted-out waste bag bins near the front door, carer Christopher arrived.
I got the Friday blog finished and posted off, then turned my attention to the new Kodak camera, and using it for the first time. I used the other Kodak to take photos of the new one.
Tried again to get some decent photos with the new Kodak.
I’m struggling to see even more now, but at least if this shot of the kitchen sky is not good, I won’t know if it is or isn’t… and what am I talking about here?
I did not do well on this one at all.
I prepped, made, served up and ate the meal with a certain relish, not a sauce, I enjoyed this one.
The cleaning up after eating was a bugger, though. Hehe!
angry with myself.
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This Tuesday, I spent an awful lot of time with one-moment brainwaves like Tweedledee and Tweedledum, interspersed with times of them battling away at each other and having disagreements. Trying to identify what or which was the best option, choice
My carer said the urine colour was a five or 6 on the NHS scale card.
I decided to treat myself to an 
Then off to the wet room.
ruled the Porcelain Throne visit again. I swear the evacuation monster torpedo, freed at great effort and pain, had a worry-making green tinge embedded
man-breast red blotch ointment. I asked Kara later, she is going to order them later for me. 👍
needed my attention for cleaning duties. There were plenty to choose from. 
I even had time to have a go at the crossword.
I got on the computer to start updating the blog.
and ankle both looked a lot better. I agreed. He had issued the medication, and off home he went, a tired-looking carer. 
was due today. I’d forgotten all about it coming. Yes, me, forgetting. Haha!
after a minute’s rest. I made a cock-up with ordering the large pie, I didn’t realise it was frozen, and there was not room in the freezer 
to store it. I double-wrapped it and got it into the big waste bag. Putting the things away in the fridge, even I was surprised at how many items I found that 
were out of date. So many, that a few dates that I could not read even with the magnifying glass, I added them all to the big waste bag. It freed up a little room, but 
the freezer took the frozen potatoes, not the slightest chance of making any room for the pie. Tsk! For the red spring onions, I have one for Vegan 
Carer Kara to try. One for me to try. I liked them! The Dutch tomatoes were tasty, too!
then got a grip of me. Whether these were 
‘s, or maybe 
, I don’t know
called, that’s all of this period I remember. I know she checked the catheter and phoned someone or made two medical-related calls, and I remembered to give her some thanks treats and the red onions. Other scattered bits are undecipherable.
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Doesn’t yer know that today started so well that I was questioning my own insanity? What a start to this prospectively enlightening, trouble-
free, and confidence-returning day! 
The colour of the urine was classified by Carer Richard later, 
as a seven on the NHS rating colour card. That was a bit of a downer for me. Yet, I found myself whistling, well, I say whistling. I was trying to whistle; it was not easy with me losing another half-tooth to the land of rot and 
yesterday. Still, I laughed it off; even when Little Inchy’s fungal lesion started to bleed, I kept up my pecker… Honestly!
I put the Kodak Tim in my gown pocket and tried to take a selfie shot of how little the nick was.
chin was embarrassing as well!
I took a photo of the morning view from the kitchenette window and put the kettle on to make a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea.
Then, I emptied all of the waste bins into one and placed it near the door for the Carer to pick up for me.
As I turned to hobble back to the kitchen to make my tea, guess what? I
against the towel dryer. Now, I was beginning to feel a little riled, ruffled, ratty, almost to the point of getting hacked off.
‘s via 
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! It was a man and woman (Amelia) 
from Specsavers checking the eyes. It was, I suppose, perfectly understandable that I forgot they were coming. 
, supported by 
Arrived, full of beans. Gave her some nibbles and a drinkie for her kids. No medications were needed; I was too confused to take any after the WordPressing farce. Which is what I returned to after she rushed off on her duties.
or two.
Tired out now, but still messing about trying to sort out the changing font issue. Sod it, I made a brew of Glengettie tea and enjoyed it. Oh, I’ve just realised I’ve not had a Porcelain Evacuation all day!
If a need for food develops, then I might have an evacuation. I have more eyes and shoots to remove from the potatoes before putting them in the oven.
I took these pictures on the left earlier and forgot about them; it could happen to anyone, I say.
I’m drained and tired out, and I just smelt the burning potatoes in the oven! Another oven tray to throw away. More potatoes to de-scab and cook again. Which I did, smilingly, happily, contentedly… I speak LYINGLY Hehehe!
Nothing fancy, but I was hungry, so I enjoyed it.