Whoopsiedangleplopitis

Inchy Today: Tuesday 25th March 2025.

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

– – Jolly Good Day! – –
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My beloved Tree Copse: free of adversity,
I used to walk through it, daily,
Stopping to talk to a bush or tree…
Or a feral rat, a being-walked doggie,
Crows, insects, I once saw a garganey,
I loved these copse-walks initially,
But now I’m not up to it, even weekly,
I can see it from the flat’s balcony,
But it wrangles me intractably,
My health I consider detestationally,
I can’t even walk up the entrance pathway,
Cartilages, Arthur itis, Peripheral Neuropathy,
Glaucoma, Anne Gina, too much you see…
I adored getting out & about, naturally,
Maybe one day? I’m thinking miraculously…
But I won’t, I’ll never have the ability,
Bad enough being incapable physically,
Reality is harder to cope with mentally,
I wonder if the plant life & animals miss me?
Bird poo, that dropped on me seemed aimingly!
Those crows knew how to poo accurately,
Trips & tumbles, bites & stings for free,
I miss my daily walks so atrociously,
I can’t manage the uphill bit unaidedly,
The downhill bit would be just as risky,
This ode has brought on a feeling of inefficacy,
I still love my Tree Copse, albeit incongruously!
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I had a slightly better kip last night. Still broken up, but at least I know why this time. The guilty ailment was chiefly . She was persistent with it. I think I may have had a few nocturnal seizures as well. So many wake-ups, but my response was different for some of them, and it took me a lot longer to get back to sleep after a few of them. There were none of the episodes and a few of the . Did you see that? I was being diagnostic, investigative, and problem-solving, on the verge of being semi-logical in my assessment of the night’s kipping difficulties?

I removed the night bag from the day bag, and bending down, I got a visit from … that was a bad one. In the late afternoon, while on the computer, he called again and was even more effective. I had a good few today.

I perked up a little, made a brew of Glengettie, and turned on the computer to finish Tuesday’s blog. It was a breeze! But it took me five hours due to basic errors a ten-year-old would be proud of.

It looked bleak outside, with a bit of drizzle.I did some hoovering and sorted the waste bins. Then, I felt guilty about the mess in the wet room that still needed to be cleaned, so I went to the wet room.
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I only mixed up with the gear I just stacked up to make room to do the mopping! I landed on the pile of the shower chair, buckets, mops, bowls and towels, knocking them over and hitting the trolley and the cosmetics, gel, disinfectant, bleach, aftershave, toothbrush, scissors, and some medications. Now I’ve a bruised rib cage.
Miraculously, I didn’t go down to the floor and stayed on top of the rubbish. So, at least I didn’t have to crawl to the junk room on all fours to drag myself back onto my feet! Phew! Thanks lads! 🙏🏼

The Caregiver arrived, Ahram, I think. Or was it Joe? It was almost definitely one or the other. After I got the medications sorted and my socks on, the door chime rang out. It was the Asda delivery. While I was taking in the groceries, I had another of those danged dangerous Whoopsies!
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My carer Ahram was assisting me to get the groceries in the door, and , gave way and I dropped the walking stick. I slid down with my back against the wall and plumped on a pack of six (approx. 5-inches high) mini-mineral spring water bottles onto my bum. With both knees doubled up, Arthur Itis and the Cartilages were agony!
For more than one reason. Both knees, the cartilages and as I found out later, the bleeding haemorrhoids where I landed on the water bottles!
Both chaps set about getting me up again. I thanked them for being there at the right time to rescue me, get me on my feet, and get me into the chair! Carer
Ahram set to putting the fodder away, so there were no photographs of the food, as there usually would be. When I recovered, I took a snap of the fridge, freezer, and the bladder-demanding water.

The fridge.
The freezer.
The waters.

I took another kitchen window shot.

The day’s original Beloved Copse shot.

To the left of the window and down a bit.
(Do you recall ‘The Golden Shot’?)

The time has flashed by with little getting done other than the blog.
The wetroom is still in a mess.
The Haemorrhoids have stopped bleeding at last.
I think I’ve gained some more bruising on the ribs and back. And for some reason, my top and bottom lips are now bleeding. Huh!

Will I ever again get a decent injury-free day?
Or a night with some unbroken sleep?
Silly questions to ask!

A ready-made beef in gravy with colcannon mashed potatoes. I added the last can of minced beef in gravy, carrots, and peas. Added some Marmite to the mixture and stirred it all up. Just four minutes in the microwave & it was ready-to-eat. It tasted superb! It was so good that I didn’t eat any of the bread.

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Constipation, Anne Gyna & Seizures,
Two tumbles, Trouble w’ catheters,
Doreen Dementia, more Accifauxpas,
Arthur Itis, Peripheral Neuropathy,
Harold’s Haemorrhoids were oozing,
Glaucoma Gladys, things hard to see,
No time to start feeling lonely,
I was never truly alone today!
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TTFNski!

Inchy: Tuesday 21st January 2025

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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Last night, I spent coughing very chestily,
And kept sneezing cacophonously,
Passing wind virtually continuously…
From Reflux Roger and my bottie,
Freezingly and shiveringly,
My tears ran down into my mouth; rather salty,
Little Inchie’s fungal lesion bled capriciously…
Sleep? Well, that was an impossibility,
I was dealing with these new ailments intolerantly,
But Thought Storming Steve gave no claptrappery,
I gave up trying to do things somnambulatory,
And escaped the bed to the lavatory,
Trotsky Terence came prematurely…
This was most shamefully embarrassingly!
Then, the job of doing the cleaning,
More problems when I started computing…
Gmail graphics on it, refusing!
I took Codeine and an Adrenocorticotrophin,
Got my mask on, and Carer Chloe came in,
As she sorted the medicationing…
The food delivery was arriving…
The driver took the bags through to my kitchen,
I forgot to ask Chloe to put my socks on…
Today, there was many an omission,
Chloe left, and I sank into a state of curmudgeon,
As I fought back the incoming depression,
Second Throne visit – even more humiliating,
What am I dreaming of, imagining, indicating?
Diabetic Dementia, mind juggling…
Yet this cold seemed more worrying & bothering?
Enough of my self-tormenting, witwantoning,
I going to get this Ode done, then my bed I will jump in,
Carer Sam called, and I was moaning…
My self-pity vessel was filling,
Life is not very fulfilling…
I’ll battle on, but I’m not genuinely willing,
My bad luck seems unrelenting,
Onto the bed, I’ll soon be settling,
Will I be able to manage to get some sleeping?
If owt happens, that’s worthy of writing,
Anything worth reporting…
No camera for photographing…
Where am I going?
What am I doing?
What will ensue for me?
Maybe a summat will happen. That’s thrilling…
Enchanting, stirring, exhilarating?
Huh, blood from the teeth & gums are flowing!
Onto the bed, in search of Sweet Morpheus,
Oh, I’m expecting the nurse…
Hristina, a lovely, kind gal, an Aquarius
I love to see her and her apparatus!
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Sleep didn’t come, but apprehensiveness did,
The next few hours were fetid, which made me livid,
Getting no sleep, but I felt almost intrepid…
The following events didn’t make me  stolid,
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Here are the reasons why I hadn’t slept,
An alarm went  & stopped,
Then there rang out a fire alarm, I panicked
An alarm went beep-beep-beep-bleep & stopped,
I couldn’t work out what it was, but hoped,
The landline rang, someone had phoned…
I got to it too late; the ringing stopped,
Again, the landline rang; too late, the ringing stopped,
An alarm went beep-beep-beep and stopped,
I couldn’t work out what it was, but hoped,
After five hours a minute’s sleep, I was gifted,
Then the alarm went beep-beep-beep & stopped,
Carer Chris came in, into the drinks selection he dived,
Then, a drink was chosen & correlated,
Again, the landline rang; someone had phoned…
I got to it too late; the ringing stopped,
Then Cartilage Carol once again crumpled,
But a complete fall was deflected…
The leg was medicated & elastoplasted,
An alarm going beep-beep-beep was emitted,
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Carer Chris had forgot to bring the camera,
But he took a shot of the meal & bilgewater!
And the hospital bed, & controller,
On his phone, saved these to his SND recorder,
Said he’s off work for 72 hours,
Wants to be with his wife, who is now pregnanter,
Carer Richard & Joanne off, both much poorlier,
I know how they feel with acute coryza,
Head cold, grinding-coughing, known as Flu-R,
It is unpleasant and a right miserable bugger!
I tried to get some sleep, but it was deactivated…
But my plans were again ascerbated…
Don’t come to hospital, sufferers are told…
The hospitals are so busy, shemozzled,
My plans, ideas, & hopes have been sphacelated,
Flu-R is so bad that I’m dumbfounded,
If I stood up, moved or even quetched,
Ailments these last two days have quintuplicated!
I feel my designs have been mancipated,
My thoughts could do with being manumitted,
shame, embarrassment, teeth always gritted!
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Today, I felt as if I was apprenticing…
Coping with this new bug or flu and learning,
I rang 111 to ask what I could be taking?
To counter the constant sneezing?
My heavy breathing and wheezing?
My impossibility to get any sleep in?
Can I take an alcoholic drinkie?
To counter the phlegm & blubbering?
NHS 111 said don’t take Aspirin…
Cause you’re on Finasteride & Warfarin,
Well, that was not very informing!
Then they added I’m not to go to hospital…
Doreen Dementia understood it was elemental,
I considered bringing up my mental problems.
The line went dead; it was pretty comical!
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Figures show urgent and emergency services, with 98,118 ambulances handed over to hospitals last week and 495,442 calls received by NHS 111. No wonder they are struggling to cope with the stampede!
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I’m fed up with this bug! Tsk!

Sunday 18th September 2022

/ Inchie / Leave a comment

POLITICAL CARTOON OF THE DAY
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Sad, it really is. Hehehe!


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These sunsetting photos were missed from yesterday’s blog. Naturally, this was the combined faults of Dementia Doreen and Cataract Katie. Also, as well as, and besides them; Anne Gyna for giving me grief as I was checking the blog on completion, and Sock Glide Gladys for moving from where I left her after using her in the morning, behind the trolley, so that I stubbed my toe against her sold metal constructed frame. Life’s a game!

Gorgeous!
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Hayley Mills

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Hehehe!

I woke around midnight, in urgent need of a weewee. Which was another visit that turned into the visit. After this and a couple of others, there was no chance of more sleep for me.
So, I got, for the first time in my life, a can of Pepsi Cola to drink, And I can now state that I liked Pepsi better than Coke. Haha! Haha! If Pepsi Co. would like a written commendation, my fees will not be excessive.
I spent four hours getting the Saturday blog updated and sent off, unbroken, even for a weewee or mug of tea.

Did you ask how the hell can the old pillock take so long? Easy-peasy! I struggled with my eyesight and made many mistakes, some that Grammarly missed; these amendments cost me a lot of time. When I finally (I thought) got it ready for the final run-through, read and check. I found many of the amendments I’d made to be wrong as well. It was as if someone else was in charge of my fingers? I got fed up with finding faults and sent it off as it was… frustrated and annoyed at myself.

I took a break to make the first brew of the morning, Thompson’s Punjana. While making it, I checked that everything was in the fridge for making Josie’s Sunday lunch. It’s getting harder now to cut up the small vegetables so Josie can cope with them, but I do get something out of doing it for her… satisfaction and almost pride!

I decided to prep the veg then and there. I got mushrooms, potatoes, carrots and gungo beans ready and in the pan. Sliced some yellow peppers and tomatoes up small. The green beans, I’ll cut later; they will be overdone if they go in too early.
A can of mixed vegetables, liquid salt, vegan Oxo, BBQ, and basil seasonings. Stirring all the time to start with. After half an hour, I left them to settle and marinate and added the no-bacon-bacon bits. A little short on potatoes this week; I hope she doesn’t notice cause she’ll tell me if she does. Cubing them can be risky.
I was cooking the mushrooms separately. There is a design as to why. Sometimes the gravy can dry up, so I leave the vegetable seasoned water from cooking the mushrooms in the pan, then I can use it later as a tasty addition to the stew, come chilli, to loosen the food for her.
I returned to the computer for a while and started on the Ode and graphic making on CorelDraw.

Back to check on the fodder… As I anticipated, the stew was getting a little too thick for Josie’s tastes, so I went to get the saucepan with the mushroom water… Twas then that I realised I had turned on the wrong hob! The back of the right-hand middle finger coped for it, but that is better than the left. The nerve ends on the Peripheral Neuropathy side, and I hardly felt any pain. Of course, once the eyes saw it, the pain instantly developed; Haha!
I poured some of the mushroom juice into the saucepan and gave it a good stir!
Then went to put some Germolene cream on the finger. The right knee was really giving me so jip now as well.

I returned to the kitchen, added the sliced earlier green beans to the mix, and stirred again.

Had a taste of it and felt it was just about right for Josie’s taste buds to be tickled.

Back to the CorelDraw tasks, and got the Ode written and graphics for the blog. This was a mammoth undertaking with all the errors I was making.

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang out from the door chime. Blimey, I’d forgotten all about the Carer not calling! It was about 08:00hrs. Weekend again, so nothing unusual. Jozeph came in, and we had a natter after he’d done the medications. Not for too long, he had another call to make. Offered him a treat of his choice and asked him to take the waste bag with him, which he did.

Now I got serious about CorelDrawing.

Did the health checks and made up this graph with a photo of the thermometer, sphygmomanometerisationing, and all the results.

I half expected the blood pressure to fall today; cause it’s been excessively high for a few days now.

However, even though I didn’t anticipate it being as low as it was, I was so nearly in the red Zone for the first time ever! , Ahem!

I have no views or ideas of what the readings will reveal or what it will be like tomorrow. A wild guess? Erm… nothing coming through to me from my EQ… stab in the dark, mayhap…
SYS 138, DIA 64, Pulse, that will still be high methinks, 92bpm? Body temperature… er… 32.4¸f,
And overall, mayhaps, just in the Pre-High bracket?
It will be interesting to see now that I’ve had a guess. Of course, it could go up further, and I’ll kick the bucket; that would ruin the guessing game. I wonder if Billum at Manor Labs will have a guess? A clever bloke is that lad.

Oh… Josie’s nosh… back in a bit…

I only just made it in time for the allotted 12:00hrs delivery of the meal for Josie. I hurried that much; I forgot all about taking a photo of it, mind you, had I grabbed one, the delivery would have been late for the first time ever… well, over the last three or four years.

Back in the flat after being told off for giving her too big a nosh, that would make her like Betty Bunter. Hahaha! And made a brew of Glengettie tea.

I made a Morrison order. Initially, to get some of their roasted vegetable ready meals (No one else sells them), the best-prepared meal I’ve ever bought – Bootiful! Coming next Wednesday twixt 8-9:00hrs. Sister Jane would like these methinks.

Went on the WordPress Reader, and WP let me in today.

Food time now; I’ll go and see what’s available. Not a lot.
The ‘slimmers’ chips certainly look tatty and have thick skins on every one of the chips. Yet they still tasted so nice – different to any other chips. A significant variance in size too. From 4 inches to ¼ inch in length. Taste Rating: 6.2/10.

Of course, having these chips is all a part of my ‘Get Inchies Belly Slimmer campaign’. I’m determined and have a new tenacity to get lighter! Nothing is going to stop me.

I made an order from Morrisons. I didn’t realise that I had made it for the same day as the Sainsbury one!
I got on the computer to change it, but no other day was available. So I managed to get it for later in the day, so they should not arrive at the same time. In’t it a struggle to change an order’s delivery time?

Went to the kitchenette to find I’d left the oven on and the hot tap running! I hate Dementia Doreen!

I turned the oven off and tap… too late for the faucet; the water was stone cold! I’ll have to do the ablutions in the morning. Turned to grab Metal Micky, and somehow I missed him altogether! Not really surprising; the cataracted eyes get a lot worse as I grow more tired. Then, as I bent down to retrieve the walking stick, I got a visit from Dizzy Dennis. I went down on one knee… Thud!

 

I went to the wet room, and  I put some of the Phorpain Gel on the knee. But it has little effect.
So I grabbed a packet of Co-codamol and took one. ‘That should ease things, I thought to myself.
Ha! What a twit!
I realised I’d not taken a Co-codamol, but a Galpharm capsule! Now, these are effective medications! But for blocking up the torpedo’s escape route! I’m not looking forward to my next visit to the !

Finally, I did manage to take a Co-codamol. After checking the taps, I got Metal-Micky and left the wet room…
CLUNK! I felt a depression with a trickling of self-pity coming on. Hehe! Walked straight into the doorframe!
Back in the wet room, Phorpained the shoulder, as an irritable, annoyed was getting revenge on me for clouting her again.

And feeling a little down, I sat myself down in the £300, used, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, and the Thought Storms began.
I decided it has to be the tiredness and Cataract deterioration causing many of these evenings, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops. I can do nothing about this situation and try to be patient while waiting for the cornea operation. Here is the farce so far… The First appointment:

How things developed:

① When the optician told me I had cataracts in both eyes, she informed the Doctor that I would need to have the situation appraised at the EENT department. The Doctor will arrange this for you.
② Eight months later, I got an appointment for the first assessment. Which was for three months later!
③ They kindly put a lift for me to the meeting. On going in with the driver, he was walking so fast, I lost him! Eventually, I found the wrong reception, and the patients waiting helped me find out where I should be with the receptionist with a squeaky voice that I could not hear.
④ I assent to two other locations and had tests of different natures in each one. Then told to go to the reception and book a lift for the following assessment.
⑤ Could I find the proper reception? No! But, a nurse helped me as she passed, and I found it. The following evaluation was for 2 months. The receptionist pointed her finger at the corner of the large waiting room, where I should wait to be collected from.
⑥ I sat down, and within 2 hours, the lift home ambulance arrived.

THE SECOND ASSESSMENT
① On this trip, they dropped me outside the EENT, and I proudly made my way to the reception needed.
② Two completely different examinations in two separate rooms, the lady in the first was pleasant and liked a laugh between the machines I was put on. ③ Then she escorted me to the subsequent office/surgery that was a way off the first. ④ The Doctor in this one did everything silently, forcing himself to speak when he had to.
⑤   I found the proper reception all on my own, and this time, had to wait three hours for a lift home/

THE THIRD ASSESSMENT

① Arrived at the EENT, and the driver kindly escorted me through at a nice slow pace to the reception  From where I was sent to yet another different waiting area  No reception in that one.
② Only a couple of minutes later, I was fetched into a cramped little office with various weird-looking (to me) optical machines in it.
③ The lady explained that if this test finds things to be out-of-shape, then the operation will not be able to go ahead, and she did the in-depth examination, which took about an hour  A smile came over her face when she declared that things as far as this test was concerned are okay for the op  She wished me good luck.
④ Told me to return to where I was sat when she collected me, and someone will fetch me for the final checking with the optometrist, who will make the final decision on recommending me to an ophthalmologist for surgery. If it is safe enough, Bless her!
⑤ Ah, this was obviously a decision-making lady. No humour, serious throughout. Knew her job, and seemed good at it as far as I could appreciate
⑥ She had an assistant, a young Asian lad, who did some more tests on a different machine. Testing the reactions of the eye to bouncing colours this one. 
⑦ The two of them discussed the findings for ten or fifteen minutes; I could not hear what was said, of course. The lady seemed to be teaching the young man and declared he should do the test again.
⑧ Back to the machine at the man’s desk. I sensed a little tension in the lad, so I gave him a smile and got one back in return, and he seemed to cheer up a smidgeon. As the test was completed, he showed his crossed fingers, which I took as a hopeful sign.
⑧ He sent the details of this test via his computer to the lady’s monitor, and I waited whilst they discussed the new test results.
⑨ Fifteen minutes later, she turned to me and told me that I had a deformed cornea, which was going to be challenging to reproduce in plastic, but she was willing to try, as the chances of success were within official limits. That’s all, she added…
I thanked her and the gentleman and made my way to the first reception to ask for a lift. I got lost en route, but I recovered when advised by someone I asked for guidance.
The wait for the lift home was only about an hour, but the tests had taken so much longer this visit. When I got home, it was turning dark.

Blimey, I waffled on there, sorry!

Inchcocks Selected Whoopsiedangleplops of the day

/ Inchie / 5 Comments

ONE

SOCK GLIDE-GLENDA

Absolutely!

This morning, I used Sock-Glide-Glenda, rather unwisely,
I felt confident and assured that I could use it injury-free!
I wanted to prove I’ve no need to be nervy…
Sure, that I had the ability, guts, and dexterity!
I thought this task to be just a formality…
Where I got this idea from also confused me!

It was going along pretty well, almost easy peasy!
But my confidence in my abilities turned into nihility…
Stepping out of frame, I lost my feelings of sensitivity,
And tumbled onto Glenda… tempting moribundity!
Scratches, bruises, welts… such a pity…
I soon lost my earlier orotundity!
I really am a liability!


Although the welt is morphing into putrefaction…
Add the bruised on the head for precision,
I came out in fair nick from this Accifauxpas action…
I’ve had no severe reaction…
It just spoils my good looks and beautification!

TWO

The Iceland Food Cometh!

No unavailable substitutes, things looked good,
The driver took the bags to the kitchen…
Thanked him, can of pop given, as I should…
The stomach wounds show no signs of blood…
I’d ordered some beef chunks, priced very good,
Went to get the fodder away as I would…
Then I saw the beef; some pieces looked like wood!
The rest were coloured red, as they should!

Above is the photo I took of one of the packs of need. Some pieces looked like cannabis colours blocks; the others looked fine. Opening up the pack, still in date, the texture of the CBD Hemp looking ones (about 30% of the contents!); was of an entirely different texture to the others? Things got me a little hot under the collar; when I checked the other two trays, they all had the Cannabis coloured chunks in them. I visited the Iceland site, and I checked the email that Iceland had sent…

I tried through the internet and found a page where they said I could email them… Fine, I thought, I’ll do that then… I’d got the details needed and went through a mammoth set of questions to finally get down to the email Iceland section at the bottom… But No! There was a list of reasons for the email, and one had to be selected. Otherwise, it didn’t let me get to the email page. Grumph!

So, I had to try the landline.

Dialled the number, and it was answered quickly… I waited… By a recorded message telling me they were experiencing a large number of calls and spent a few minutes telling me how I could contact them on the web, even recommending that I do that.

But not for long; the recorded message chappie interrupted the kip-the-sods-waiting music, which seemed like every minute. “If you want to know where your delivery is, phone…” Then next time something like – it was hard to hear him) “If you wish to question any charges… ring” – Followed by “A list on all new products re available at ……… .com” I had about ten of these interruptions.

Eventually, I got a real person to talk to. But hearing what she was saying was a nightmare! I answered all the details asked of me. I didn’t know how many pimples I had on my bottom, so I couldn’t answer that one… Hahaha! Only joking!

After only 20 minutes of the call being answered, I thanked her for her help. I’ve no idea why. I hadn’t got the foggiest notion of what was going to happen. But did catch ’email mentioned a minute before she rang off? So anticipate getting one (email) about a refund… or not, if I’ve got it wrong again…

I got this Email shortly after laundry and ironer Esther had gone. She kindly brought me the numbers to ring Amazon about the misleading information about my deliveries. Bless her.

And here we go…

Three

Amazing Amazon Cock Up

They told me as below on the tracker thingamajig. That the Galpharm Capsules would arrive on 20th – 21st April. They were delivered last Thursday 14th April). More of concern, they told me the Throw had been delivered last Saturday? I have not arrived yet! And was originally due on the 23rd of April. Confusion reigns?

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Four

Things started well; I oiled the ears to make them less waxy,
But they were still solid; the oiling failed dismally,
I syringed in water, which worked satisfactorily…
I waited for anything happening, cynically…
The noises from the canals became sort of crackly,
I viewed the treatment as failed – somewhat sceptically!

Nasal clearing, Germoloiding, Germolening… carefully…
All going okay; I Pain Gelled my knees and ankles easily…
Got the eye drops in… well, practically… but woefully…
Some got into the eyes, but with Shaking Shaun’s ability…
I got most of it down my cheek into my mouth, literally!

Then came the Blood Pressure taking…

Then onto the sphygmomanometerisationing,
In other words, the blood pressure taking…
The results lately have been astounding…
The last eight tests, all within a high rating…
But only just, nothing worth worrying about…

Flibbledonkackles! & Spurgledamnations!

Great Balls Of Fire!

Bloody Nora, what a shock!
This made me clench my buttock!
And my bladder wanted to unlock!
Hehehe!
I’ll have to ponder and take stock?
I checked the NHS site, like a shot!

Computer on, I entered details in the NHS, BP chart…
My result was off the scale; I passed an unintentional fart,
But I felt well pretty well, as best I could tell…
Leave it; check again later? Is that smart?
Listen to some music, perhaps some musical art?
Joannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart,
He was only 39 when from this earth he did depart!
I’ll go on the NHS helpline, well, it’s a start…

This message came on the screen after I pressed the ‘Go’ button to see the graph. Automatic response, mayhaps?

–  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –

A typical day for an old one like me… ruminations…
Frustrations, Whoopsiedangleplops, abominations,
Lack of socialisation and communications…
Accifauxpas, injury collecting, misread intonations,
The mind’s acute lack of clarity and precision!

Deafness, warping conversations,
Confirmation of hypertension…
Worries about the yobbo’s flat intrusion,
The brain is confused between reality and illusion…
A nasty, Thought-Storm invasion,

But odd things that baffled yet pleased me?
A movement in my loins, the first since 2003!
A yearning to have back my 4×4 Panda Sisley?
I wanted a pan of streaky smoked bacon, crispy…
Needing the dentist to repair my cavity…

Hate: Dementia Doreen, for causing such deficiency,
Denying my once held abilities, from logicality…
Ensuring my confidence less, and other disabilities…
My memories fade, but old ones remain: A malady?
Not knowing what time & day it is, is not an abnormality!

Failed & deferred appointments, like with the audiologist,
A Doctor who I’ve forgotten what she looks like?
The Ophthalmologist, no appointments were missed…
That’s cause I haven’t had one yet, about which I’m pissed!
Three cancellations from the phlebotomist…
Just the one from the immunopathologist,
Four from the Gerontologist, Two for the dentist…
The DVT clinic, four from the neuropathologist…
Could I get help from a psychiatrist or hypnotherapist?
A couple more to put on the cancelled list!
I must stop moaning… I must desist!

–  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –

.

Inchcock Today: Inchcock Today Diary – Tuesday 29th March 2022

/ Inchie / 12 Comments

Inchcock Today: Diary Tuesday 29th March

05:35hrs: Woke to pea-souper fog.

I dragged my not-slept-much body from the clutches of the second-hand, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, £300, c1968,  tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner. Then went to make a brew of J Sainsbury Extra Strong tea and drank it pretty quickly cause the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived.

So, off to the wet room come WC I went. And the evacuation operation was positively under the influence of Constipation Conrad!

So, out came the crossword book. As I awaited some movement from the rear end, I studied the clues, determined to do better than yesterday’s solution-finding of only two! There was no rush, so I looked at the options for a good ten minutes. Then the activity started… and stopped a minute later – solidly refusing to recommence again! Which gave me another ten minutes or so of puzzle-solving. Well, that’s not strictly true… I didn’t get one answer! But I persevered, with an unnatural desire to succeed.

As you can see in the second photo, I made no, zilch progress. Which was annoying. Haha!

I went back to the kitchen and sorted out the spring water bottles. Opened the fridge door to find that I’d already done them last night. Dementia Doreen again!

The wee-weeing started and was pretty persistent again throughout the day. I made a brew and got the computer to update Monday’s blog.

Carer Richard arrived. He was looking a little better than yesterday; bless him. We had a good nattering session; things of old we had in common were the theme. I could see he was ready for his bed and appreciated the chinwag but cut it short to let him get home to his medicines and, above all, bed. Bade him farewell, and he took the waste bags to the chute for me. Hope he’s not coming down with anything. He’s got enough already.

By the time I got around to doing this post, I could see clearly the writing on the reminder pad – Consip victory! I’ve not got the foggiest of what it meant! Sad, innit? Hahaha!

I got on the computer again, finished updating, and sent the blog to WordPress.

This morning, jolly good figures from the sphygmomanometer, even though it was nearly midday by now. Gosh, the day is flashing by! Even the body temperature had risen again… bot by a lot, but that’s two days on the up. Things might be getting better? No, I am a fool!

I spent the next four hours on the computer, making mayhaps my biggest cock-up of the year!

I’d started doing a Local News Snippets one for tomorrow! Pillock! And had not finished and posted the Monday one yet!

Then, after updating and sending off the Monday post to WordPress…

Instead of starting this blog, I began doing an Ode blog!!! Gawd or Mighty, I’m Going Potty!

The mind was so puddled. I stopped and went to make a brew of Glengettie tea.

Filled the kettle but did not turn on the heat!!! Argh!

I took these two photographs of the evening sky. There is no sunsetting to speak of, but I still found them beautiful, Mother Nature at her finest. I appreciate There’s something special about the skies, not as much as a good natter. Hehe!

I’d made a start on two blogs now! Neither one finished. And had to get this one started then! Dumbo!

I had a call from Meridian saying the evening carer would be late. They already were. I told them no bother, not to worry. Which was true!

I put some potatoes in the oven and added a pastie later, peas in the pan.

I got on with starting this blog. The evening carer arrived later, apologising. But there was no need; I appreciated that she was in a rush but still found time for a bit of chinwag. 💙

I made some progress with this blog, but it was so late, and tiredness overcame me and my hunger.

I’ll have to finish this in the morning. I’ll get the jammies on and nosh served up now. TTFN.

Wednesday morning update:

I was up until gone midnight again.

Made a well-overcooked meal. But it went down nicely, all the same, despite fighting to keep awake while eating it. Tsk!

The darned Thought-Storms raged again when I washed the pots and got into the c1968 second-hand, E-plan recliner.

Gragnangles!

Inchcock Today: Diary, including the Evening Dream – In Ode

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

Saturumday 5th February 2022

INCHCOCK TODAY

Back to the horrible nocturnalisationings, like sleeping poorly, again! Oh boy, am I pissed off with this or what! I spent more time awake than asleep last night!

Endlessly waking up with a jump, then working out what time and day it was, and where I was! It was soul-destroying. I should think I must have woken at least two dozen times, more often than not needing a wee-wee! Cursing at my situation every time! Then just when I decided to get up, I fell asleep for the most extended period all night! It lasted for about an hour.

Amazingly, I rose from the uncomfortable depths of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, with almost ease! There was a complete absence of any hassle from Reflux Roger, Anne Gyner, Toothache Thomas, Duodenal Donald, Shaking Shaun (although he had a few goes at me later in the morning).

Caught my balance and checked on the legs because Arthur Itis and CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) were both giving me pain the moment I got any weight (And I’ve plenty of that!) on the plates and pins. Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism, and veins were remarkable by their absence!

But it seemed that only CCP and Arthur were worth worrying about. Grrreat!

Indeed, both feet looked in such a fine state I had to take a photo of them. Were they really mine?

This doesn’t happen very often, so I was already preparing to go into Smug-Mode!), that the J Sainsbury order is due this morning, and I don’t have a lot of time to prepare for them, with my getting up so late. Partly dressed (that’s as far as I got all day, Tsk!), I wandered hobblingly into the kitchenette to make a brew of Glengettie. It came to mind…

While the kettle was boiling, I took this snap of the morning view, catching the edge of the window frame to give a perspective of the actual sizing. I’ve forgotten why I thought of doing this now.

As I turned to get the kettle, CCP gave way in the right knee; boy, did she pain me! The knee nearly gave way a few more times as well. I’m hoping nothing like last week with Cathy popping out of her patella socket happens again. The whole joint was aching for hours after this? Mmm?

I made a brew and had a mug of Thompsons Punjana. Took it with me to the computer and made a start on finalising yesterdays blog. And before I could get to drink it, “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫” music chimed up from the door buzzer. It was Carer Cassandra; she was in a much lighter mood this morning. (Meridian Health & Social Care do not have any bosses on duty at the weekend, and Nottingham City Homes have no ILCs (Independent Living Coordinators) working weekends either). I assume that this is why the Carers are a little more cheerful? Unless, of course, some Carer has not turned up or left the job (a lot of them do that!), and that they have been called in to cover, of course. Haha!

Cassie soon got the medications sorted, and we even ad a little natter… well, I did. Har-har! Cassie departed, taking my waste bag with her, and I went to make another mug of tea…

I knocked over the milk bottle, but it only fell on its side, which I appreciated muchly and took a photo of it to prove that I do sometimes have good luck… in a way.

The intercom flashed; I presume it sounded as well, but I couldn’t hear it. Pressed the release button, and within two minutes, the ♫Oh Susana♫ tune rang forth again”. Grand deliveryman took the boxes through to the kitchen for me. Only four items missing out of stock this week. Much better than last week’s 14! Got the fresh stuff sorted and stored away in the fridge. The fridge is now looking well-stocked again but not overloaded.

A few items of cleaning and bleaching were put in the cupboards in the wet room and kitchenette.

Putting the canned cupboard supplies away cost me a lot of time. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s nerve ends lost contact a few times while I reached up to put them on the shelves.

In fact, I ended up throwing a couple of items up to the top shelf, but I don’t think anything broke.

Having said that, I’m sure I have more than a few dented cans in there now. However, I’m well off for kinds of vinegar seasonings and have a few cans of various vegetables to fall back on… not literally mind. Although, if CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) has her way, shell have me over some time today. I can feel her efforts, little twinges, in readiness to floor me!

MedPhorpainGot the fodder away and applied some of the impotent, not fit for the job, but better than nothing, Phorpain gel rubbed well into the kneecap vicinity. I also took an extra Codeine 30g tablet. Because each time I put pressure in the joint, I can now feel a sort of grating from within the knee. Along with the seconds long periods of it feeling like it’s going to give, then it comes back? Ah well, fingers crossed!

I took a couple of pictures from inside the balcony. Of the end car park and Chestnut Walk below the front of the building. The red van man continues to park on the yellow hatched area and the White hatchback on the double yellow lines. And they say young men are bad drivers?

Whilst doing the blog, the lighting charged rather quickly outside.

Took a photograph of the changed sky colouring. I think this means rain on the way?

The weather made a liar of me within ten minutes, the sky turned blue, and a contrail showed up. Caught it with the Canon.

Back on the computer, I heard a clattering noise to accompany Herberts tap-tapping. I was sure it came from the kitchen, so I got up to investigate the clatterings source. But without any success, I’m afraid.

I had a go on Facebooking, Winwood Heights and the TFZer site. After about an hour or so, a loud (well, it would have to have been for me to hear it) similar metallic-sounding noise was heard again? I got a little confused as I could listen to Herbert above knocking away again. But, I felt the metallic sounds were coming from the kitchen. But, again, could find no cause of them?

All a part of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghost, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and pretentious, uppity, snobby, pernickety, smug, stuck-up, neighbour above, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? I really believe that it did not come from the sanctified, consecrated, uncommunicative, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, arrogant slimeballs apartment above. Mmm?

I thought later, could it be the contents of the food cupboards that I could not get in the cupboard properly?

So, off into the kitchenette for yet another investigation.

As I searched each cupboard again, silence fell from Herbert’s flat. Oh, I hope he’s not dropped dead or is poorly… Ahem!

I couldn’t find owt not in order, or that could have caused the mystery racket?

The expected rain was coming down.

Decided to do the Medical Checks and just look at the BP figures that I got from the sphygmomanometer!

The lowest I’ve ever had! Brilliant! But baffling.

This follows a series of readings: SYS 168 Dia 62, SYS 148 Dia 76, SYS 149 Dia 62, now the excellent SYS 117 Dia 66! Yee-Haa! Fully in the Green for the first time ever!

The pulse was 74, and the body temperature 34.6°c. I think that is okay too!

Then I gave the knee another covering of the Phorpain gel.

The right knee still looked a smidge knobbly and was still a grating feeling when I applied any pressure as I walked. It doesn’t look or feel like it

is Arthur Itis playing up, rather more as if it is Cartilage Cathy.

However, the spider and veins were all looking well down today. The DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis) clumps had disappeared!

Blimey, where’s the time gone to? The Carer will be here soon, and I’m not changed or had anything to eat yet! I treated myself to a lemon Viennese biscuit.

Got the oven on to use later to cook the beef pastie and some chips. Then plodded on with updating this blog.

A short bout of noise from Herbert. He just wants me to know that I have no chance of him stopping making noise, Bless Him!

I was preparing the late nosh, when the sound of ♫Oh, Susana♫, indicated the arrival of the evening Carer, Valerie tonight. I remembered I had an Easter Egg for her in the spare room, and I fetched it for her. She read some dates of the food in the kitchen for me, all were in date. Phew! She sorted the medications for me and was soon off, but tonight we did manage a mini natter, which was nice. Valerie took the waste bags to the chute with her. ♥

I got the meal finished and served onto the plate and tray. A sourdough baguette for one, which was delightfully tasty! BBQ seasoned sliced potatoes, yellow and red tomatoes.  I put a pot of dipping sauce on the tray, mainly for the sourdough-dipping. Hehe! The Cornish pastie was a different one this time. J Sainsbury’s pack of four. It shamed Iceland’s and Morrison’s ones, and had real flavour with not too much spicing in it… oh, and the sliced mini-bits of spuds were nice to the palette. A pleasant surprise for me. Overall, a Flavour-Rating of 8.2/10… got to be precise on these things. Hehehe!

The sleep was better than of late. Only about six shooting-awakes all night. On the last one, I woke remembering some bits of a dream I’d been having. There is an Ode to the Dream Ode, I wrote in the morning:

Ode to the Dream Ode

It’s a long time since I recalled summat I was dreaming,
In a room with many folks, like at a housewarming…
Female admirers around me were swarming!
Even in the dream, I didn’t become assuming…
Why me, all around were young men, convening,
Every one of them, the ladies were declining…
I could tell, to the lads, this was disheartening…
Even to me, this was a little disquietening!
It is me, that the girls wanted to be entwining…
What the heck is going on, happening?
One of the girls was particularly endearing…
Plump gal, about 35, and we hid, our bodies exploring…
She said she was pleased I chose her…Amazing!
How come all the girls suddenly find me appealing?
She said, Helen, I think, it was because of your blogging?
And we started cuddling and snogging…
“But, why, Helen?” I couldn’t resist inquiring…
“We’re all after your recipe for cheesy potatoes, darling!”
Which put an end to our session of pleasuring…
The dream seemed to morph into another rumination,
I was underground in a massive cave, fireflies flickering…
In the dark shadows in and out of view, flittering…
What, who they were, teased my imagination…
I searched, but I could not catch them, disheartening!
I could hear them babbling, mayhaps alien talking?
Aliens or ghosts, either way, I needed verification…
For the fireflies, they seemed to have an affection?
Then I heard a new sound, all around, tintinnabulation,
Damn it, the dream moved on to a railway station!
I was obviously waiting for a train,
Luggage around me, but no ticket to use, who to blame?
Searched my pockets, again and again…
My panic was becoming a pain…
The announcer said something about a train to Dunblane?
Walking on the platform, I saw Neville Chamberlain?
Waving an Amazon card at me, the dream started to wane…
I wanted to stay, learn 1940’s life, I tried to remain…
But, Herbert’s banging about woke me up again!

The Nottingham Lad’s Diary – With Odeing

Impure Inchy – Thursday 4th March 2021 Diary

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

♥ TFZer Actresses on stage! ♥

Thursday 4th March 2021

Spanish: Jueves 4 de Marzo de 2021

23:40hrs: I removed my over-flabbily-bellied body from the c1968 recliner and utilised the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). A short sharp affair, with a lot of CMD (Cessational Micturition Dribble) to follow.

No messing about, I got on the computer to create a template for today’s blog. Starting with doing a few graphics on CorelDraw. But, I didn’t get too far, the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived, so, off to the wet room. Incidentally, Cartilage Cathy was a lot kinder to me this morning.

It seemed to me that the daily PTDDSB (Porcelain Throne, Daily-Domination-Stakes- Battle) for supremacy in the evacuation was a close thing. Still, a comeback from Constipation Konrad had curbed the rampant messy tendencies of Trotsky Terence for once! So, I had a go at the crossword puzzle as I waited for things to kick-off. Just as yesterday, I didn’t solve a single clue! (Well, I’m consistent, if not capable. Hehehe! The movement started slowly and stayed that way, but no pain or bleeding, and as I said, it was a lot less mess to clean up. I still had to refill the tank by hand though, I think the problem is the fluffy too-thick toilet roll paper.

Back to the grahicalisationing, I went. Then made-up and started this template. Which took me ages to get this far with. Then, I went on to update the Wednesday Diary, at long last. I got it updated fully, emailed the link and went on the WordPress Reader section. Which I enjoyed considerably. Pinterested a couple of photographs, the read and replied to the WP comments that had come in. Some witty puns and quips came on this Thursday.

I was about to start collating the advance templates and realised the hours had shot by; it was time to get the ablutions tended to. As is usual with me, I got into the kitchen and got myself sidetracked once more.

I decided to get the hand-washing done first. But and however – guess who had left the hot water tap (faucet) to run cold? Yes, pickle-brain Inchcock had struck-again! Gawd-blimey, I this far too often! Hence decision had to be made (another Inchcock problem area!) My EQ told me there nothing to do but press on handwashing boiling the water in the kettle and saucepan, for more Whoopsiedangleplops were on their way! He also called me a name, a naughty one!

So, the half-hour or so handwashing exercise took me nearly two hours! Not to mention the scolding of two fingers fetching the kettle to the sink… Oh, I’ve said it! It’s a good job that I was in a slightly better mood today! I washed the long-sleeve jumper, the jammie-bottoms and the pair of long bamboo diabetic socks. The washed ones from yesterday were not fully-dry enough to put on today, so I got a couple of 100% short-ones to adorn after the ablutions to wear.

Then, as I checked the dryness of the other things that were hanging above the kitchen window, with perfect-timing, Peripheral Pete went into an involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance routine! This caused me to drop the coat-hangars and the washing I had in my hand. Belt Cathy Cartilages knee against the floor cupboard, and hit my head against the heater getting back up again!

I made a start on moving the stuff back into the cupboard, but soon lost interest!

My new found emotions of satisfaction, semi-contentment and renewed hopes sank without a trace! I took some painkillers and moped my way to the wet room, leaving the clothes where they had fell on the floor, and swearing a little still, got to the wet room, totally uninterested in what I was there for! Pissed-off would be a quicker way of putting things!

Had I been aware of what was waiting for me, I wouldn’t have gone in! The worse Ablution session in months!

Ablutionalisticalisationing Report:

  • I realised there was no hot water to be gleaned from the sink tap for shaving! But felt sure I would manage using the hottish water from the shower-head without any bother (What an idiot!)
  • Have you ever had to keep going to the other side of the wet room, and with Peripheral Pete shaking me about like a good un, repeatedly, bring the shower-head, which only just reaches the sink, and spraying the tepid water all over yourself and the room? It’s not easy! The cleaning up afterwards wasn’t either!
  • The de-nasalising went well. No water needed, you see! One dropsy only!
  • The teeth-cleaning had a bit of discomfort.
  • Then the shaving began. I had to keep emptying the sink of the water that went too cold, turning up the thermostat, and dial, to get as hot that I could from the control panel, but it wasn’t scorching enough, even then.
  • The whole shaving job was farcical in the extreme. Although having said that, there were only five dropsies! A few little nicks and one cut under the chin. One the throat, two in the neck-hole, and one on the cheek.

I got belated Health Checks done next. The Boot’s, made in China Sphygmomanometer’s SYS reading was fantastically low! Grrreat!

At least I think it is; hang on, I’ll check on Mr Google later on.

The in Hong Kong produced, Chinese Harpin Xian Di contactless thermometer reading was, I think, a smidge high, but well down on yesterdays worrying high of 37.9°c – 100.22°f.

Since the side-effect-ridden AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccination was given to me a week last Saturday, SYS has also been higher, its the lowest reading today than for ages. I think I might be getting confused here, between the SYS and the temperature? Well, fancy that!

I found an NHS site on Google, where you can put in your reading for SYS and DIA, and you get an instant show of where you stand on the chart, with a black cross! Proof that I was right to worry when the SYS went up to 180 five days ago, well, that was well in the red area!

Gotten Himmel! Look at the time! What happened, where did it go?

I’d better close down and get my pre-planned, easy, tasty (I was well wrong there!) meal prepared. I’m afraid the beautiful looking Iceland bought tin of tomatoes was terribly bland, tasteless, watery. Savourless and unappetising. These Don Holio chopped tomatoes needed a warning giving-out about them for anyone unlucky enough to buy any. The Sainsbury crispy smoked ready-cooked bacon slices were very fatty tasting as well! The last of the sourdough bread saved the meal. A flavour-rating of 4.5/10 was granted. Reluctantly to a degree! Eurgh!

However, and leaving the pots in the sink in cold water to be cleaned when I have some hot water again, in the morning, at first, I was well-pleased that I was in time to watch the channel 11, Tales of the Unexpected episodes.

I stayed awake until the first set of commercials, and Sweet Morpheus visited me, and off into the land of nod I floated.

And slept for four unbroken hours, which was so nice! Ahh!

Inchy with the Squinch. Saturday 6th February 2021 – Diary

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

♥ TFZer Mary Out dining! ♥

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Saturday 6th February 2021

Spanish: Sábado 6 de Febrero de 2021

01:00hrs: Woke, no wee-wee wanted? I was in a somewhat vague haze to start with, just went with the flow… sort of.

Up caught my balance, and off to the kitchenette, and made a brew of Glengettie tea. Then back into the main junk room with the mug, and got the computer on… but not for long, an urgent message from the innards sent in haste to the wet room and Porcelain Throne.

And what an odd session it was! I got settled, and the movement began at the slightest effort from me. It slid out painlessly, undemandingly, smoothly and pretty quickly, too! No signs of a struggle, and absolutely mess-free!

Add to this, that there was no bleeding whatsoever; and for a while, I thought I must still be laying on the uncomfortable, c1968 recliner, and dreaming that this was happening?  Amazing!

I got the updating all finished and posted the blog off. Sent the email link. Went on Facebooking catch-up. That cost me two hours, but I do love it so. But today, I have got to get a few templates done, I’ve none left to use!

I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana, and the second call to the Porcelain Throne arrived, and very urgent too! In fact, an embarrassing leakage arrived before I got settled down on the Throne. (Shame and self-loathing time!) The flow was stickier but still painless! Soon over, and left me with a filthy gooey mess to clean up on the floor, Throne and myself! This put me galvanically into Depression Defcon Two-level! Cleaning up again, took me yonks.

The Subconjunctival haemorrhage eye was stingy just a bit, no real pain as such.

I read and replied to some WP comments, got CorelDraw on to upload photos, and then made a strat on graphic creating, for the template making. This is going to be a mammoth job.

First things first, though, a wee-wee, washed and made a mug of Glengettie.

The view from the kitchen window had acquired a beautiful red tinge. So I took this picture of it. Not very good, but of course it was the Canon Camera being used.

I made the tea and used the Evolve Hypromellose eye drops, I had leftover from the last time the blood vessels burst. I struggled just like before to get the stuff into the eye, and lost a lot of it down my face. I wish the hospital people would have told me how to put them in, cause I can’t get the hang of it. I’ll recheck the eye later on, but now, back to the CorelDrawing.

Stretching to use the picker upperer to retrieve a dropped letter, I had a tumble and clouted my head and right shoulder. Henceforth things are using photographs as reminders and details remain sketchy until I seemed to come back as I was making a brew. The intercom flashed, it was the Iceland delivery, that I’d forgot all about coming.

Took the bags through to the kitchen, I do recall being aghast at the green potatoes in the large bog of potatoes delivered, and struggling to get the things the freezer as it meant bending down, which was currently very painful.

Feeling unwell, tired and only really want to go back to sleep?

I think I did some CorelDrawing, but not much is there as I type this, in the morning.

I stopped everything, to go and get the ablutions tackled. But was just not up to it, the head was spinning, the shoulder and head aching, and I just sat down to rest.

Not sure how long for, must have been a few hours or so. I constantly got up, checked lights, windows, faucets etc., I couldn’t get top sleep, and the Thought Storms were rampant, getting no rest at all.

When the door chimes rang out.

I struggled with surprising difficulty to the door, it was the postman, who immediately showed concern over how I looked and inquired if I was alright, “Would you like me to call you an ambulance?”

He delivered a letter and a parcel.

I think Sister Jane rang. All confused.

Just what I needed in the envelope, a multi questionnaire from Nottingham City Homes to be filled in. I’ve already got the two NHS ones, the monthly passing and BP one, and Covid-19 to fill in, and can’t face doing them how I feel, Humph! The box was the Amazon Dettol that the tracker tells me will be here Monday.

I left everything and sat down again, and stayed there for hours, getting up only for wee-weeing occasionally. Eventually nodding off.

I woke about 23:00hrs, feeling horrifically unwell, but not poorly-sick, really. I got some nosh made. Didn’t eat much of it.

Then got the computer on to finish this post, and let the mind stew as it was going to anyway.

Inchock’s 4th Escape from the lockdown – to town! Pictorially presented!

/ Inchie / 14 Comments

Inchock’s 4th Escape from the lockdown – to town!

This woz rote by Inchy’s alter ego – Hehehe!

The following, pictorials and odes, were created in support of the Depressed Nottinghamian At-Risk High-Rise Flat-Dwelling Prisoners Support Group. Donations gladly accepted.

Having made his escape bid plans again. He clandestinely crept to the lifts, falling over his three-wheeked walker-Guide, waited for the regulation Winwood Heights twenty minutes for a lift, and got down in time to miss the bus.

He waited patiently, for the next bus, but this proved something of a benefit for the old git. Not many folks about, but he still managed to corner one poor chap, and hastened to bore him to death verbally! The man wisely moved away.

And Inchcock, being instantly bored himself now, went into one his Sherlock Holmesian modes. Someone had been blowing their nose in the bus shelter, and stuffing the tissue under the seating?

He caught the bus and got out his crossword puzzles, but the driver, obviously a stock-car racing fan, nearly had Inchy out if his seat a few times en route to Nottingham City centre. Trying to hold onto his three wheeler, took some effort.

The old chap went itn the Pondland shop on Lower Parliament Street, and despite his painful and feet, enjoyed his hobble around the store, coming out with many items he didn’t need or want, Tsk!

He got to the checkout, and got himself in a right pickle and state of embarrassment at the self-serve checkout! The lady monitoring the tills, was greatly unimpressed with his continual dropping of things and farting about trying to retrieve them.

But did not offer to help, although she shared some sneerings, of hate, derision, scornfulness and causticness with him. He came out redfaced and £20 lighter. And took these three shots of the Milton Street junction.

Where he went into the Bargain Shop. A terrible experience! No one talking, empty shelves etc. But, he still spent over £21, mostly on Christmas treats for his family of friend in Woodthorpe Court.

He was struggling now, the three-wheeler trolley-bag full, and three carrier bags hanging on the handles, would make progress awkward for him. At least he remembered to but sone of the dar clothing cleaner. He set off on a limp towards the Slab Square.

On his hobble along Milton Street to Upper Parliament Street, he noticed the Nottionghamian pedestrians crossing the road against the lights again, but this is a usual, regular occurrence. He adjusted thos spectacles.

Which was a mistake, as he turned onto Upper Parliament Street, the old fart of a fool unthinkingly took the spectacles off to clean them.

They got caught in the facemask!

He crossed over the road, and down King Street. Near the bus stops, a chap dressed like the Beatles used to, with plaited hair hanging below his shoulders, stopped him and asked for ‘a couple of quid for a coffee’. As he eyed up the bags!

Inchy just said, ‘No!’ and carried in hobbling down the hill, turning to keep an aye on the youth as he did, to make sure he wasn’t following. Getting to the Slab Square, Inchy gor out his camera for a snapping away session.

He saw the little crowd and paparazzi outside the Council House steps, he went back into Sherlock Holmesian mode, and took a close up[ phot of whoever was on the steps. This person came by. Inchy got a decent shot of his/her head.

Inch repositioned himelf a bit closer, and waited for the right moment to get a view of what was going on. Nice zoomed-in photo for once. Asssumed to be the Sheriffess or Mayoress of Nottingham? Again, not single Policeman in sight today.

The tatterdemalion, dour, malagrugrous, weary, tellurian, dangerous populace of Nottingham, were showing a bit of itnerest, at least. Not many of them had face-masks on, but it isn’t law yet to wear them outsdoors yet, methinks.

The lad poddled his way wit hdifficulty up Queen Street to get to his bus stop, and caught a number 40 back home, to his never-restfull, beloved, always something to worry about, four years being upgraded and not finished yet, Winwood Heights.

He was the only passenger when the bus moved off from the terminus. Pondering on should he get out the crossword or not; one look at the mass of bags on the trolley, and the book being at the bottom, he decided against it!

The first passenger to get on the bus, was Face-Maskless.

The second one, had his mask under his chin.

A lady got on, and she had no mask on!

As the chin-mask wearing man got up tp get off, he gave Inchy a cautionary scowl, that was a bit threatening. As the bus progressed along St Anns Well Road, it passed the Health Centre where Inchy has to go for his bladder-scan.

This is St. Anns Valley Centre, 2 Livingstone Road, Nottingham NG3 3GG.

Events over his last two visits there, do not proffer the least bit of encouragement or confidence in Inchy.

The record, as Inchy explains:

  • February: Went to get the feet done, and they said come back later, we’ll have to lool at your health record.
  • March: They refused to do my feet, cause the Warfarin level was too high..
  • July: They refused to tend to my feet, because I’d just had the stroke.
  • August: Refused again, cause of my having been diagnosed with diabetes.
  • September: The did cut my nails, but said they will not be able to so in future. I have to go private in future.

Poor old sod!

He arrived back at his Woodthorpe Court, along with the mysterious wonders of, the Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, Hallucinations and Kehuas. Materialisations, Poltergeist, Lemures, Wairuas, Manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan mission; ‘To annoy and scare the bejesus out of, and the pants off of the old energumenist, Inchcock’.

Thank you.

Inchcockski – Thursday 18th June 2020: Stubbed toe. Argh!

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

TFZers Marie, Roxie & Alfie, and some actor or other ♥

Thursday 18th June 2020 

Kinyarwanda: Ku Wa Kane 18 Kamena 2020

02:40hrs: No clinomania, or uhtceare this morning. After stirring and giving the grey-cells a moment to activate, I was in an unexpectedly perky frame of mind. Why I’ve no idea at all, but I was soon tackling and heaving the distorted, gross body from the recliner. Up got to my feet, grabbed the stick, caught my balance, and was limping off to the bucket for a wee-wee. For a PSLWW (Powerful-Short-Lived-Wee-Wee). 

Stumbled (The uncut toenails and soles of the feet were giving me some grief), off to the kitchen Arthur Itis was again, as yesterday, hardly any bother at all, just stiffness. This convinces me that more rain is to come.

I had a look through the thick-framed, letting rain in, unable to reach to wash, photographer-hating designed, new window. I took this snap, in auto-setting, of the morning view. There had been some more rain overnight, but not a lot. I sense we are going to get some, Arthur Itis tells me! I closed the window, and ent to make a brew, of Glengettie Gold tea.

My kakorrhaphiophobia was miffed for a few minutes or so, by some testing Accifauxpas. But somehow I did not get uptight or annoyed at all?

  • I dropped the milk making a right mess on the floor and my legs. I just quietly cleaned it up, no inner-cursing or bad language?
  • Then, when it got to my taking the medications out of the pods, as I broke the cover, static which had built up, threw the Codeine 30g up towards the roof. I’ve not found it yet!
  • Then the cup slipped as I was taking it to the counter to do the health checks. I can now confirm that fresh-made Glengettie Gold tea, spilling onto one’s legs, is not recommended! Humph!

Still relatively calm, I got the BP tests done. The results on the sphygmomanometer seemed fair enough. The thermometer showed 73°f. I was still puzzled as to why I was so calm about everything? Perhaps the last few problematical and testing nychthemerals, made me realise that things could always be worse?

04:10hrs: Hello, the rains coming heavier now. Nae bothers to me, I’ll start the updating of yesterdays blog. I got it finished at about 06:00hrs Posted and done. Sent the Email links. Went on WordPress reader. Then made a start on this blog.

Went for another brew making session, Thompsons Punjana, my current favourite.

The toes were stinging, so I took off the slippers. Then thought about it, not such a good idea after all; if I do any toe-stubbing, there’ll be no padding. Haha! I put the slippers back on, (it hurt though, Tsk!)

Then onto TFZer and Winwood Heights Facebooking. Then did a template for tomorrow, had to rush it to get the ablutions done.

Well, what a set of farcical, farraginous, funny and unfunny incidents with the ablutions today! I came on in agony, bleeding and yet still contented in my little mind. Here’s what took place, as best as I can chronologically recall:

  • I needed the Porcelain Throne, which was not messy and over quickly. After five flushes, all failing to remove the contents, I gave up.
  • Started doing the teeth-cleaning. Apart from annoying Toothache Thomas, all went well. Grumplewuncks!
  • Shaving was another matter. As Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley kicked into life, the shaving foam spent more time on the floor or in the sink, than being used! Grobognangles!
  • Several cuts little cuts, dropped the razors (6), the after-shave using it to stop the bleeding. Groggleknockers!
  • The shower head was dropped (Shirley was still visiting), landing on my right foot, via the stomach and left knee! Globberisations!
  • The rest of the showering was incident-free!
  • Moving the shower chair so I could get near the wall-heater to towel off and do the medication. I painfully banged my left knee, on the corner of the seat, as an involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Peter Schuhplattler dance. Unbelievable! I haven’t suffered one for a week or more, and it had to come at the wrong time! Grumbleconfusement
  • I’d left the Germoloid in the kitchen, or front room, so I used some of the Care brand gel on the haemorrhoids. Yeeeeoww! It’s not as anesthetised as the Gemoloid is.
  • Leaving the room, with the towel, camera and bottle of olive oil to refill, and things in my hands. I realised I had not turned off the wall-heater, or checked to see if the taps had been left running. So, (for me) I rushed back in, and of course, the shower chair was in a different position than usual after the fracas with it earlier… and I stubbed my right little toe on the metal leg! Gramshackle-Globberisations! Spittlisations!
  • Then had to clean the puddle of olive oil, I’d dropped, and test the camera to see if it had broken!

I took a couple of pictures with the Canon, of the stubbed toe and my knees, it seemed to be still working. Phew! The pins and patellas were looking extremely good! Their best for months! Clopidogrel Clive and the varicose veins had abated as well? I risked allowing a short period of Smugness to overcome me! Haha!

The rain outside was more like repeated showers. I’ll try to remember when I do the waste bags, to take a photo from a different perspective, through the tatty window near the chute room.

To the scullery, and got the kettle on. I was still in an accepting mood, and this concerned me. After all the bad-fortune of the previous hours, I found myself whistling? Yet, in agony with the knee and toes. I am a Nebekh!

Last time this happened, I lost 10 hours from my memory. Not that it is likely to happen again… but then, knowing my luck? I got the earholes olive-oiled again, made a mug of Gengettie Assam tea, and back on Computer Cameron, to update this blog.

After an hour or so, I remembered I’d not done the black bag sorting yet. (Yes, I know, it’s hard to believe that a man of my calibre can forget things!) Har-har!

I made up three small bags and didn’t need the walker, the bags were so little, it was easy for me to carry them. I put the camera in my pocket (See? I don’t always forget, Hehehe), and using the wooden stick, I hobbled to the waste chute room. The rain or shower was falling again, and I caught it on camera.

I got back and thought another brew, and I’ll get some graphicalisationing on CorelDraw done. So, I did!

Back in a bit.

I’m back. Jenny called while I was graphicalisationing. She reported that several tenants had been told this week, by Iceland’s, Sainsbury’s and Asda’s deliverymen, that they are not allowed inside the building anymore, and to come down to collect their foodstuffs! She wanted to warn me. And kindly said that if it happens to me, to tell them, I’m disabled, but will ring a friend to see of they can get down for me. Then to ring Frank and Jenny and tell them. We spoke about other stuff, but the memory of what was said is vague now. The worry over if this happens has got to me.

I was not concentrating very well.

Gave up on the computing, and got a meal sorted. I didn’t eat it all, which is a rarity.

Put the pots in the sink to soak, then got down in the £300, c1968, second-hand, sickeningly-beige-coloured, none working, ramshackle, uncomfortable in the extreme, rusty, rickety, at times near-lethal, yet none-working recliner.

Sleep came swiftly for once. Very Nice!

Wee-weeless and uninterrupted! For 5½-Hours!