Inchcocks Selected Whoopsiedangleplops of the day

ONE

SOCK GLIDE-GLENDA

Absolutely!

This morning, I used Sock-Glide-Glenda, rather unwisely,
I felt confident and assured that I could use it injury-free!
I wanted to prove I’ve no need to be nervy…
Sure, that I had the ability, guts, and dexterity!
I thought this task to be just a formality…
Where I got this idea from also confused me!

It was going along pretty well, almost easy peasy!
But my confidence in my abilities turned into nihility…
Stepping out of frame, I lost my feelings of sensitivity,
And tumbled onto Glenda… tempting moribundity!
Scratches, bruises, welts… such a pity…
I soon lost my earlier orotundity!
I really am a liability!


Although the welt is morphing into putrefaction…
Add the bruised on the head for precision,
I came out in fair nick from this Accifauxpas action…
I’ve had no severe reaction…
It just spoils my good looks and beautification!

TWO

The Iceland Food Cometh!

No unavailable substitutes, things looked good,
The driver took the bags to the kitchen…
Thanked him, can of pop given, as I should…
The stomach wounds show no signs of blood…
I’d ordered some beef chunks, priced very good,
Went to get the fodder away as I would…
Then I saw the beef; some pieces looked like wood!
The rest were coloured red, as they should!

Above is the photo I took of one of the packs of need. Some pieces looked like cannabis colours blocks; the others looked fine. Opening up the pack, still in date, the texture of the CBD Hemp looking ones (about 30% of the contents!); was of an entirely different texture to the others? Things got me a little hot under the collar; when I checked the other two trays, they all had the Cannabis coloured chunks in them. I visited the Iceland site, and I checked the email that Iceland had sent…

I tried through the internet and found a page where they said I could email them… Fine, I thought, I’ll do that then… I’d got the details needed and went through a mammoth set of questions to finally get down to the email Iceland section at the bottom… But No! There was a list of reasons for the email, and one had to be selected. Otherwise, it didn’t let me get to the email page. Grumph!

So, I had to try the landline.

Dialled the number, and it was answered quickly… I waited… By a recorded message telling me they were experiencing a large number of calls and spent a few minutes telling me how I could contact them on the web, even recommending that I do that.

But not for long; the recorded message chappie interrupted the kip-the-sods-waiting music, which seemed like every minute. “If you want to know where your delivery is, phone…” Then next time something like – it was hard to hear him) “If you wish to question any charges… ring” – Followed by “A list on all new products re available at ……… .com” I had about ten of these interruptions.

Eventually, I got a real person to talk to. But hearing what she was saying was a nightmare! I answered all the details asked of me. I didn’t know how many pimples I had on my bottom, so I couldn’t answer that one… Hahaha! Only joking!

After only 20 minutes of the call being answered, I thanked her for her help. I’ve no idea why. I hadn’t got the foggiest notion of what was going to happen. But did catch ’email mentioned a minute before she rang off? So anticipate getting one (email) about a refund… or not, if I’ve got it wrong again…

I got this Email shortly after laundry and ironer Esther had gone. She kindly brought me the numbers to ring Amazon about the misleading information about my deliveries. Bless her.

And here we go…

Three

Amazing Amazon Cock Up

They told me as below on the tracker thingamajig. That the Galpharm Capsules would arrive on 20th – 21st April. They were delivered last Thursday 14th April). More of concern, they told me the Throw had been delivered last Saturday? I have not arrived yet! And was originally due on the 23rd of April. Confusion reigns?

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Four

Things started well; I oiled the ears to make them less waxy,
But they were still solid; the oiling failed dismally,
I syringed in water, which worked satisfactorily…
I waited for anything happening, cynically…
The noises from the canals became sort of crackly,
I viewed the treatment as failed – somewhat sceptically!

Nasal clearing, Germoloiding, Germolening… carefully…
All going okay; I Pain Gelled my knees and ankles easily…
Got the eye drops in… well, practically… but woefully…
Some got into the eyes, but with Shaking Shaun’s ability…
I got most of it down my cheek into my mouth, literally!

Then came the Blood Pressure taking…

Then onto the sphygmomanometerisationing,
In other words, the blood pressure taking…
The results lately have been astounding…
The last eight tests, all within a high rating…
But only just, nothing worth worrying about…

Flibbledonkackles! & Spurgledamnations!

Great Balls Of Fire!

Bloody Nora, what a shock!
This made me clench my buttock!
And my bladder wanted to unlock!
Hehehe!
I’ll have to ponder and take stock?
I checked the NHS site, like a shot!

Computer on, I entered details in the NHS, BP chart…
My result was off the scale; I passed an unintentional fart,
But I felt well pretty well, as best I could tell…
Leave it; check again later? Is that smart?
Listen to some music, perhaps some musical art?
Joannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart,
He was only 39 when from this earth he did depart!
I’ll go on the NHS helpline, well, it’s a start…

This message came on the screen after I pressed the ‘Go’ button to see the graph. Automatic response, mayhaps?

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A typical day for an old one like me… ruminations…
Frustrations, Whoopsiedangleplops, abominations,
Lack of socialisation and communications…
Accifauxpas, injury collecting, misread intonations,
The mind’s acute lack of clarity and precision!

Deafness, warping conversations,
Confirmation of hypertension…
Worries about the yobbo’s flat intrusion,
The brain is confused between reality and illusion…
A nasty, Thought-Storm invasion,

But odd things that baffled yet pleased me?
A movement in my loins, the first since 2003!
A yearning to have back my 4×4 Panda Sisley?
I wanted a pan of streaky smoked bacon, crispy…
Needing the dentist to repair my cavity…

Hate: Dementia Doreen, for causing such deficiency,
Denying my once held abilities, from logicality…
Ensuring my confidence less, and other disabilities…
My memories fade, but old ones remain: A malady?
Not knowing what time & day it is, is not an abnormality!

Failed & deferred appointments, like with the audiologist,
A Doctor who I’ve forgotten what she looks like?
The Ophthalmologist, no appointments were missed…
That’s cause I haven’t had one yet, about which I’m pissed!
Three cancellations from the phlebotomist…
Just the one from the immunopathologist,
Four from the Gerontologist, Two for the dentist…
The DVT clinic, four from the neuropathologist…
Could I get help from a psychiatrist or hypnotherapist?
A couple more to put on the cancelled list!
I must stop moaning… I must desist!

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.

Inchcock Today: Inchcock Today Diary – Tuesday 29th March 2022

Inchcock Today: Diary Tuesday 29th March

05:35hrs: Woke to pea-souper fog.

I dragged my not-slept-much body from the clutches of the second-hand, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, £300, c1968,  tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner. Then went to make a brew of J Sainsbury Extra Strong tea and drank it pretty quickly cause the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived.

So, off to the wet room come WC I went. And the evacuation operation was positively under the influence of Constipation Conrad!

So, out came the crossword book. As I awaited some movement from the rear end, I studied the clues, determined to do better than yesterday’s solution-finding of only two! There was no rush, so I looked at the options for a good ten minutes. Then the activity started… and stopped a minute later – solidly refusing to recommence again! Which gave me another ten minutes or so of puzzle-solving. Well, that’s not strictly true… I didn’t get one answer! But I persevered, with an unnatural desire to succeed.

As you can see in the second photo, I made no, zilch progress. Which was annoying. Haha!

I went back to the kitchen and sorted out the spring water bottles. Opened the fridge door to find that I’d already done them last night. Dementia Doreen again!

The wee-weeing started and was pretty persistent again throughout the day. I made a brew and got the computer to update Monday’s blog.

Carer Richard arrived. He was looking a little better than yesterday; bless him. We had a good nattering session; things of old we had in common were the theme. I could see he was ready for his bed and appreciated the chinwag but cut it short to let him get home to his medicines and, above all, bed. Bade him farewell, and he took the waste bags to the chute for me. Hope he’s not coming down with anything. He’s got enough already.

By the time I got around to doing this post, I could see clearly the writing on the reminder pad – Consip victory! I’ve not got the foggiest of what it meant! Sad, innit? Hahaha!

I got on the computer again, finished updating, and sent the blog to WordPress.

This morning, jolly good figures from the sphygmomanometer, even though it was nearly midday by now. Gosh, the day is flashing by! Even the body temperature had risen again… bot by a lot, but that’s two days on the up. Things might be getting better? No, I am a fool!

I spent the next four hours on the computer, making mayhaps my biggest cock-up of the year!

I’d started doing a Local News Snippets one for tomorrow! Pillock! And had not finished and posted the Monday one yet!

Then, after updating and sending off the Monday post to WordPress…

Instead of starting this blog, I began doing an Ode blog!!! Gawd or Mighty, I’m Going Potty!

The mind was so puddled. I stopped and went to make a brew of Glengettie tea.

Filled the kettle but did not turn on the heat!!! Argh!

I took these two photographs of the evening sky. There is no sunsetting to speak of, but I still found them beautiful, Mother Nature at her finest. I appreciate There’s something special about the skies, not as much as a good natter. Hehe!

I’d made a start on two blogs now! Neither one finished. And had to get this one started then! Dumbo!

I had a call from Meridian saying the evening carer would be late. They already were. I told them no bother, not to worry. Which was true!

I put some potatoes in the oven and added a pastie later, peas in the pan.

I got on with starting this blog. The evening carer arrived later, apologising. But there was no need; I appreciated that she was in a rush but still found time for a bit of chinwag. 💙

I made some progress with this blog, but it was so late, and tiredness overcame me and my hunger.

I’ll have to finish this in the morning. I’ll get the jammies on and nosh served up now. TTFN.

Wednesday morning update:

I was up until gone midnight again.

Made a well-overcooked meal. But it went down nicely, all the same, despite fighting to keep awake while eating it. Tsk!

The darned Thought-Storms raged again when I washed the pots and got into the c1968 second-hand, E-plan recliner.

Gragnangles!

Inchcock Today: Diary, including the Evening Dream – In Ode

Saturumday 5th February 2022

INCHCOCK TODAY

Back to the horrible nocturnalisationings, like sleeping poorly, again! Oh boy, am I pissed off with this or what! I spent more time awake than asleep last night!

Endlessly waking up with a jump, then working out what time and day it was, and where I was! It was soul-destroying. I should think I must have woken at least two dozen times, more often than not needing a wee-wee! Cursing at my situation every time! Then just when I decided to get up, I fell asleep for the most extended period all night! It lasted for about an hour.

Amazingly, I rose from the uncomfortable depths of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, with almost ease! There was a complete absence of any hassle from Reflux Roger, Anne Gyner, Toothache Thomas, Duodenal Donald, Shaking Shaun (although he had a few goes at me later in the morning).

Caught my balance and checked on the legs because Arthur Itis and CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) were both giving me pain the moment I got any weight (And I’ve plenty of that!) on the plates and pins. Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism, and veins were remarkable by their absence!

But it seemed that only CCP and Arthur were worth worrying about. Grrreat!

Indeed, both feet looked in such a fine state I had to take a photo of them. Were they really mine?

This doesn’t happen very often, so I was already preparing to go into Smug-Mode!), that the J Sainsbury order is due this morning, and I don’t have a lot of time to prepare for them, with my getting up so late. Partly dressed (that’s as far as I got all day, Tsk!), I wandered hobblingly into the kitchenette to make a brew of Glengettie. It came to mind…

While the kettle was boiling, I took this snap of the morning view, catching the edge of the window frame to give a perspective of the actual sizing. I’ve forgotten why I thought of doing this now.

As I turned to get the kettle, CCP gave way in the right knee; boy, did she pain me! The knee nearly gave way a few more times as well. I’m hoping nothing like last week with Cathy popping out of her patella socket happens again. The whole joint was aching for hours after this? Mmm?

I made a brew and had a mug of Thompsons Punjana. Took it with me to the computer and made a start on finalising yesterdays blog. And before I could get to drink it, “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫” music chimed up from the door buzzer. It was Carer Cassandra; she was in a much lighter mood this morning. (Meridian Health & Social Care do not have any bosses on duty at the weekend, and Nottingham City Homes have no ILCs (Independent Living Coordinators) working weekends either). I assume that this is why the Carers are a little more cheerful? Unless, of course, some Carer has not turned up or left the job (a lot of them do that!), and that they have been called in to cover, of course. Haha!

Cassie soon got the medications sorted, and we even ad a little natter… well, I did. Har-har! Cassie departed, taking my waste bag with her, and I went to make another mug of tea…

I knocked over the milk bottle, but it only fell on its side, which I appreciated muchly and took a photo of it to prove that I do sometimes have good luck… in a way.

The intercom flashed; I presume it sounded as well, but I couldn’t hear it. Pressed the release button, and within two minutes, the ♫Oh Susana♫ tune rang forth again”. Grand deliveryman took the boxes through to the kitchen for me. Only four items missing out of stock this week. Much better than last week’s 14! Got the fresh stuff sorted and stored away in the fridge. The fridge is now looking well-stocked again but not overloaded.

A few items of cleaning and bleaching were put in the cupboards in the wet room and kitchenette.

Putting the canned cupboard supplies away cost me a lot of time. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s nerve ends lost contact a few times while I reached up to put them on the shelves.

In fact, I ended up throwing a couple of items up to the top shelf, but I don’t think anything broke.

Having said that, I’m sure I have more than a few dented cans in there now. However, I’m well off for kinds of vinegar seasonings and have a few cans of various vegetables to fall back on… not literally mind. Although, if CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) has her way, shell have me over some time today. I can feel her efforts, little twinges, in readiness to floor me!

MedPhorpainGot the fodder away and applied some of the impotent, not fit for the job, but better than nothing, Phorpain gel rubbed well into the kneecap vicinity. I also took an extra Codeine 30g tablet. Because each time I put pressure in the joint, I can now feel a sort of grating from within the knee. Along with the seconds long periods of it feeling like it’s going to give, then it comes back? Ah well, fingers crossed!

I took a couple of pictures from inside the balcony. Of the end car park and Chestnut Walk below the front of the building. The red van man continues to park on the yellow hatched area and the White hatchback on the double yellow lines. And they say young men are bad drivers?

Whilst doing the blog, the lighting charged rather quickly outside.

Took a photograph of the changed sky colouring. I think this means rain on the way?

The weather made a liar of me within ten minutes, the sky turned blue, and a contrail showed up. Caught it with the Canon.

Back on the computer, I heard a clattering noise to accompany Herberts tap-tapping. I was sure it came from the kitchen, so I got up to investigate the clatterings source. But without any success, I’m afraid.

I had a go on Facebooking, Winwood Heights and the TFZer site. After about an hour or so, a loud (well, it would have to have been for me to hear it) similar metallic-sounding noise was heard again? I got a little confused as I could listen to Herbert above knocking away again. But, I felt the metallic sounds were coming from the kitchen. But, again, could find no cause of them?

All a part of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghost, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and pretentious, uppity, snobby, pernickety, smug, stuck-up, neighbour above, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? I really believe that it did not come from the sanctified, consecrated, uncommunicative, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, arrogant slimeballs apartment above. Mmm?

I thought later, could it be the contents of the food cupboards that I could not get in the cupboard properly?

So, off into the kitchenette for yet another investigation.

As I searched each cupboard again, silence fell from Herbert’s flat. Oh, I hope he’s not dropped dead or is poorly… Ahem!

I couldn’t find owt not in order, or that could have caused the mystery racket?

The expected rain was coming down.

Decided to do the Medical Checks and just look at the BP figures that I got from the sphygmomanometer!

The lowest I’ve ever had! Brilliant! But baffling.

This follows a series of readings: SYS 168 Dia 62, SYS 148 Dia 76, SYS 149 Dia 62, now the excellent SYS 117 Dia 66! Yee-Haa! Fully in the Green for the first time ever!

The pulse was 74, and the body temperature 34.6°c. I think that is okay too!

Then I gave the knee another covering of the Phorpain gel.

The right knee still looked a smidge knobbly and was still a grating feeling when I applied any pressure as I walked. It doesn’t look or feel like it

is Arthur Itis playing up, rather more as if it is Cartilage Cathy.

However, the spider and veins were all looking well down today. The DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis) clumps had disappeared!

Blimey, where’s the time gone to? The Carer will be here soon, and I’m not changed or had anything to eat yet! I treated myself to a lemon Viennese biscuit.

Got the oven on to use later to cook the beef pastie and some chips. Then plodded on with updating this blog.

A short bout of noise from Herbert. He just wants me to know that I have no chance of him stopping making noise, Bless Him!

I was preparing the late nosh, when the sound of ♫Oh, Susana♫, indicated the arrival of the evening Carer, Valerie tonight. I remembered I had an Easter Egg for her in the spare room, and I fetched it for her. She read some dates of the food in the kitchen for me, all were in date. Phew! She sorted the medications for me and was soon off, but tonight we did manage a mini natter, which was nice. Valerie took the waste bags to the chute with her. ♥

I got the meal finished and served onto the plate and tray. A sourdough baguette for one, which was delightfully tasty! BBQ seasoned sliced potatoes, yellow and red tomatoes.  I put a pot of dipping sauce on the tray, mainly for the sourdough-dipping. Hehe! The Cornish pastie was a different one this time. J Sainsbury’s pack of four. It shamed Iceland’s and Morrison’s ones, and had real flavour with not too much spicing in it… oh, and the sliced mini-bits of spuds were nice to the palette. A pleasant surprise for me. Overall, a Flavour-Rating of 8.2/10… got to be precise on these things. Hehehe!

The sleep was better than of late. Only about six shooting-awakes all night. On the last one, I woke remembering some bits of a dream I’d been having. There is an Ode to the Dream Ode, I wrote in the morning:

Ode to the Dream Ode

It’s a long time since I recalled summat I was dreaming,
In a room with many folks, like at a housewarming…
Female admirers around me were swarming!
Even in the dream, I didn’t become assuming…
Why me, all around were young men, convening,
Every one of them, the ladies were declining…
I could tell, to the lads, this was disheartening…
Even to me, this was a little disquietening!
It is me, that the girls wanted to be entwining…
What the heck is going on, happening?
One of the girls was particularly endearing…
Plump gal, about 35, and we hid, our bodies exploring…
She said she was pleased I chose her…Amazing!
How come all the girls suddenly find me appealing?
She said, Helen, I think, it was because of your blogging?
And we started cuddling and snogging…
“But, why, Helen?” I couldn’t resist inquiring…
“We’re all after your recipe for cheesy potatoes, darling!”
Which put an end to our session of pleasuring…
The dream seemed to morph into another rumination,
I was underground in a massive cave, fireflies flickering…
In the dark shadows in and out of view, flittering…
What, who they were, teased my imagination…
I searched, but I could not catch them, disheartening!
I could hear them babbling, mayhaps alien talking?
Aliens or ghosts, either way, I needed verification…
For the fireflies, they seemed to have an affection?
Then I heard a new sound, all around, tintinnabulation,
Damn it, the dream moved on to a railway station!
I was obviously waiting for a train,
Luggage around me, but no ticket to use, who to blame?
Searched my pockets, again and again…
My panic was becoming a pain…
The announcer said something about a train to Dunblane?
Walking on the platform, I saw Neville Chamberlain?
Waving an Amazon card at me, the dream started to wane…
I wanted to stay, learn 1940’s life, I tried to remain…
But, Herbert’s banging about woke me up again!

The Nottingham Lad’s Diary – With Odeing

Impure Inchy – Thursday 4th March 2021 Diary

♥ TFZer Actresses on stage! ♥


Thursday 4th March 2021

Spanish: Jueves 4 de Marzo de 2021

23:40hrs: I removed my over-flabbily-bellied body from the c1968 recliner and utilised the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). A short sharp affair, with a lot of CMD (Cessational Micturition Dribble) to follow.

No messing about, I got on the computer to create a template for today’s blog. Starting with doing a few graphics on CorelDraw. But, I didn’t get too far, the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived, so, off to the wet room. Incidentally, Cartilage Cathy was a lot kinder to me this morning.

It seemed to me that the daily PTDDSB (Porcelain Throne, Daily-Domination-Stakes- Battle) for supremacy in the evacuation was a close thing. Still, a comeback from Constipation Konrad had curbed the rampant messy tendencies of Trotsky Terence for once! So, I had a go at the crossword puzzle as I waited for things to kick-off. Just as yesterday, I didn’t solve a single clue! (Well, I’m consistent, if not capable. Hehehe! The movement started slowly and stayed that way, but no pain or bleeding, and as I said, it was a lot less mess to clean up. I still had to refill the tank by hand though, I think the problem is the fluffy too-thick toilet roll paper.

Back to the grahicalisationing, I went. Then made-up and started this template. Which took me ages to get this far with. Then, I went on to update the Wednesday Diary, at long last. I got it updated fully, emailed the link and went on the WordPress Reader section. Which I enjoyed considerably. Pinterested a couple of photographs, the read and replied to the WP comments that had come in. Some witty puns and quips came on this Thursday.

I was about to start collating the advance templates and realised the hours had shot by; it was time to get the ablutions tended to. As is usual with me, I got into the kitchen and got myself sidetracked once more.

I decided to get the hand-washing done first. But and however – guess who had left the hot water tap (faucet) to run cold? Yes, pickle-brain Inchcock had struck-again! Gawd-blimey, I this far too often! Hence decision had to be made (another Inchcock problem area!) My EQ told me there nothing to do but press on handwashing boiling the water in the kettle and saucepan, for more Whoopsiedangleplops were on their way! He also called me a name, a naughty one!

So, the half-hour or so handwashing exercise took me nearly two hours! Not to mention the scolding of two fingers fetching the kettle to the sink… Oh, I’ve said it! It’s a good job that I was in a slightly better mood today! I washed the long-sleeve jumper, the jammie-bottoms and the pair of long bamboo diabetic socks. The washed ones from yesterday were not fully-dry enough to put on today, so I got a couple of 100% short-ones to adorn after the ablutions to wear.

Then, as I checked the dryness of the other things that were hanging above the kitchen window, with perfect-timing, Peripheral Pete went into an involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance routine! This caused me to drop the coat-hangars and the washing I had in my hand. Belt Cathy Cartilages knee against the floor cupboard, and hit my head against the heater getting back up again!

I made a start on moving the stuff back into the cupboard, but soon lost interest!

My new found emotions of satisfaction, semi-contentment and renewed hopes sank without a trace! I took some painkillers and moped my way to the wet room, leaving the clothes where they had fell on the floor, and swearing a little still, got to the wet room, totally uninterested in what I was there for! Pissed-off would be a quicker way of putting things!

Had I been aware of what was waiting for me, I wouldn’t have gone in! The worse Ablution session in months!

Ablutionalisticalisationing Report:

  • I realised there was no hot water to be gleaned from the sink tap for shaving! But felt sure I would manage using the hottish water from the shower-head without any bother (What an idiot!)
  • Have you ever had to keep going to the other side of the wet room, and with Peripheral Pete shaking me about like a good un, repeatedly, bring the shower-head, which only just reaches the sink, and spraying the tepid water all over yourself and the room? It’s not easy! The cleaning up afterwards wasn’t either!
  • The de-nasalising went well. No water needed, you see! One dropsy only!
  • The teeth-cleaning had a bit of discomfort.
  • Then the shaving began. I had to keep emptying the sink of the water that went too cold, turning up the thermostat, and dial, to get as hot that I could from the control panel, but it wasn’t scorching enough, even then.
  • The whole shaving job was farcical in the extreme. Although having said that, there were only five dropsies! A few little nicks and one cut under the chin. One the throat, two in the neck-hole, and one on the cheek.

I got belated Health Checks done next. The Boot’s, made in China Sphygmomanometer’s SYS reading was fantastically low! Grrreat!

At least I think it is; hang on, I’ll check on Mr Google later on.

The in Hong Kong produced, Chinese Harpin Xian Di contactless thermometer reading was, I think, a smidge high, but well down on yesterdays worrying high of 37.9°c – 100.22°f.

Since the side-effect-ridden AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccination was given to me a week last Saturday, SYS has also been higher, its the lowest reading today than for ages. I think I might be getting confused here, between the SYS and the temperature? Well, fancy that!

I found an NHS site on Google, where you can put in your reading for SYS and DIA, and you get an instant show of where you stand on the chart, with a black cross! Proof that I was right to worry when the SYS went up to 180 five days ago, well, that was well in the red area!

Gotten Himmel! Look at the time! What happened, where did it go?

I’d better close down and get my pre-planned, easy, tasty (I was well wrong there!) meal prepared. I’m afraid the beautiful looking Iceland bought tin of tomatoes was terribly bland, tasteless, watery. Savourless and unappetising. These Don Holio chopped tomatoes needed a warning giving-out about them for anyone unlucky enough to buy any. The Sainsbury crispy smoked ready-cooked bacon slices were very fatty tasting as well! The last of the sourdough bread saved the meal. A flavour-rating of 4.5/10 was granted. Reluctantly to a degree! Eurgh!

However, and leaving the pots in the sink in cold water to be cleaned when I have some hot water again, in the morning, at first, I was well-pleased that I was in time to watch the channel 11, Tales of the Unexpected episodes.

I stayed awake until the first set of commercials, and Sweet Morpheus visited me, and off into the land of nod I floated.

And slept for four unbroken hours, which was so nice! Ahh!

Inchy with the Squinch. Saturday 6th February 2021 – Diary

TFZer Mary Out dining!

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Saturday 6th February 2021

Spanish: Sábado 6 de Febrero de 2021

01:00hrs: Woke, no wee-wee wanted? I was in a somewhat vague haze to start with, just went with the flow… sort of.

Up caught my balance, and off to the kitchenette, and made a brew of Glengettie tea. Then back into the main junk room with the mug, and got the computer on… but not for long, an urgent message from the innards sent in haste to the wet room and Porcelain Throne.

And what an odd session it was! I got settled, and the movement began at the slightest effort from me. It slid out painlessly, undemandingly, smoothly and pretty quickly, too! No signs of a struggle, and absolutely mess-free!

Add to this, that there was no bleeding whatsoever; and for a while, I thought I must still be laying on the uncomfortable, c1968 recliner, and dreaming that this was happening?  Amazing!

I got the updating all finished and posted the blog off. Sent the email link. Went on Facebooking catch-up. That cost me two hours, but I do love it so. But today, I have got to get a few templates done, I’ve none left to use!

I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana, and the second call to the Porcelain Throne arrived, and very urgent too! In fact, an embarrassing leakage arrived before I got settled down on the Throne. (Shame and self-loathing time!) The flow was stickier but still painless! Soon over, and left me with a filthy gooey mess to clean up on the floor, Throne and myself! This put me galvanically into Depression Defcon Two-level! Cleaning up again, took me yonks.

The Subconjunctival haemorrhage eye was stingy just a bit, no real pain as such.

I read and replied to some WP comments, got CorelDraw on to upload photos, and then made a strat on graphic creating, for the template making. This is going to be a mammoth job.

First things first, though, a wee-wee, washed and made a mug of Glengettie.

The view from the kitchen window had acquired a beautiful red tinge. So I took this picture of it. Not very good, but of course it was the Canon Camera being used.

I made the tea and used the Evolve Hypromellose eye drops, I had leftover from the last time the blood vessels burst. I struggled just like before to get the stuff into the eye, and lost a lot of it down my face. I wish the hospital people would have told me how to put them in, cause I can’t get the hang of it. I’ll recheck the eye later on, but now, back to the CorelDrawing.

Stretching to use the picker upperer to retrieve a dropped letter, I had a tumble and clouted my head and right shoulder. Henceforth things are using photographs as reminders and details remain sketchy until I seemed to come back as I was making a brew. The intercom flashed, it was the Iceland delivery, that I’d forgot all about coming.

Took the bags through to the kitchen, I do recall being aghast at the green potatoes in the large bog of potatoes delivered, and struggling to get the things the freezer as it meant bending down, which was currently very painful.

Feeling unwell, tired and only really want to go back to sleep?

I think I did some CorelDrawing, but not much is there as I type this, in the morning.

I stopped everything, to go and get the ablutions tackled. But was just not up to it, the head was spinning, the shoulder and head aching, and I just sat down to rest.

Not sure how long for, must have been a few hours or so. I constantly got up, checked lights, windows, faucets etc., I couldn’t get top sleep, and the Thought Storms were rampant, getting no rest at all.

When the door chimes rang out.

I struggled with surprising difficulty to the door, it was the postman, who immediately showed concern over how I looked and inquired if I was alright, “Would you like me to call you an ambulance?”

He delivered a letter and a parcel.

I think Sister Jane rang. All confused.

Just what I needed in the envelope, a multi questionnaire from Nottingham City Homes to be filled in. I’ve already got the two NHS ones, the monthly passing and BP one, and Covid-19 to fill in, and can’t face doing them how I feel, Humph! The box was the Amazon Dettol that the tracker tells me will be here Monday.

I left everything and sat down again, and stayed there for hours, getting up only for wee-weeing occasionally. Eventually nodding off.

I woke about 23:00hrs, feeling horrifically unwell, but not poorly-sick, really. I got some nosh made. Didn’t eat much of it.

Then got the computer on to finish this post, and let the mind stew as it was going to anyway.

Inchock’s 4th Escape from the lockdown – to town! Pictorially presented!

Inchock’s 4th Escape from the lockdown – to town!

This woz rote by Inchy’s alter ego – Hehehe!

The following, pictorials and odes, were created in support of the Depressed Nottinghamian At-Risk High-Rise Flat-Dwelling Prisoners Support Group. Donations gladly accepted.

Having made his escape bid plans again. He clandestinely crept to the lifts, falling over his three-wheeked walker-Guide, waited for the regulation Winwood Heights twenty minutes for a lift, and got down in time to miss the bus.

He waited patiently, for the next bus, but this proved something of a benefit for the old git. Not many folks about, but he still managed to corner one poor chap, and hastened to bore him to death verbally! The man wisely moved away.

And Inchcock, being instantly bored himself now, went into one his Sherlock Holmesian modes. Someone had been blowing their nose in the bus shelter, and stuffing the tissue under the seating?

He caught the bus and got out his crossword puzzles, but the driver, obviously a stock-car racing fan, nearly had Inchy out if his seat a few times en route to Nottingham City centre. Trying to hold onto his three wheeler, took some effort.

The old chap went itn the Pondland shop on Lower Parliament Street, and despite his painful and feet, enjoyed his hobble around the store, coming out with many items he didn’t need or want, Tsk!

He got to the checkout, and got himself in a right pickle and state of embarrassment at the self-serve checkout! The lady monitoring the tills, was greatly unimpressed with his continual dropping of things and farting about trying to retrieve them.

But did not offer to help, although she shared some sneerings, of hate, derision, scornfulness and causticness with him. He came out redfaced and £20 lighter. And took these three shots of the Milton Street junction.

Where he went into the Bargain Shop. A terrible experience! No one talking, empty shelves etc. But, he still spent over £21, mostly on Christmas treats for his family of friend in Woodthorpe Court.

He was struggling now, the three-wheeler trolley-bag full, and three carrier bags hanging on the handles, would make progress awkward for him. At least he remembered to but sone of the dar clothing cleaner. He set off on a limp towards the Slab Square.

On his hobble along Milton Street to Upper Parliament Street, he noticed the Nottionghamian pedestrians crossing the road against the lights again, but this is a usual, regular occurrence. He adjusted thos spectacles.

Which was a mistake, as he turned onto Upper Parliament Street, the old fart of a fool unthinkingly took the spectacles off to clean them.

They got caught in the facemask!

He crossed over the road, and down King Street. Near the bus stops, a chap dressed like the Beatles used to, with plaited hair hanging below his shoulders, stopped him and asked for ‘a couple of quid for a coffee’. As he eyed up the bags!

Inchy just said, ‘No!’ and carried in hobbling down the hill, turning to keep an aye on the youth as he did, to make sure he wasn’t following. Getting to the Slab Square, Inchy gor out his camera for a snapping away session.

He saw the little crowd and paparazzi outside the Council House steps, he went back into Sherlock Holmesian mode, and took a close up[ phot of whoever was on the steps. This person came by. Inchy got a decent shot of his/her head.

Inch repositioned himelf a bit closer, and waited for the right moment to get a view of what was going on. Nice zoomed-in photo for once. Asssumed to be the Sheriffess or Mayoress of Nottingham? Again, not single Policeman in sight today.

The tatterdemalion, dour, malagrugrous, weary, tellurian, dangerous populace of Nottingham, were showing a bit of itnerest, at least. Not many of them had face-masks on, but it isn’t law yet to wear them outsdoors yet, methinks.

The lad poddled his way wit hdifficulty up Queen Street to get to his bus stop, and caught a number 40 back home, to his never-restfull, beloved, always something to worry about, four years being upgraded and not finished yet, Winwood Heights.

He was the only passenger when the bus moved off from the terminus. Pondering on should he get out the crossword or not; one look at the mass of bags on the trolley, and the book being at the bottom, he decided against it!

The first passenger to get on the bus, was Face-Maskless.

The second one, had his mask under his chin.

A lady got on, and she had no mask on!

As the chin-mask wearing man got up tp get off, he gave Inchy a cautionary scowl, that was a bit threatening. As the bus progressed along St Anns Well Road, it passed the Health Centre where Inchy has to go for his bladder-scan.

This is St. Anns Valley Centre, 2 Livingstone Road, Nottingham NG3 3GG.

Events over his last two visits there, do not proffer the least bit of encouragement or confidence in Inchy.

The record, as Inchy explains:

  • February: Went to get the feet done, and they said come back later, we’ll have to lool at your health record.
  • March: They refused to do my feet, cause the Warfarin level was too high..
  • July: They refused to tend to my feet, because I’d just had the stroke.
  • August: Refused again, cause of my having been diagnosed with diabetes.
  • September: The did cut my nails, but said they will not be able to so in future. I have to go private in future.

Poor old sod!

He arrived back at his Woodthorpe Court, along with the mysterious wonders of, the Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, Hallucinations and Kehuas. Materialisations, Poltergeist, Lemures, Wairuas, Manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan mission; ‘To annoy and scare the bejesus out of, and the pants off of the old energumenist, Inchcock’.

Thank you.

Inchcockski – Thursday 18th June 2020: Stubbed toe. Argh!

TFZers Marie, Roxie & Alfie, and some actor or other ♥

Thursday 18th June 2020 

Kinyarwanda: Ku Wa Kane 18 Kamena 2020

02:40hrs: No clinomania, or uhtceare this morning. After stirring and giving the grey-cells a moment to activate, I was in an unexpectedly perky frame of mind. Why I’ve no idea at all, but I was soon tackling and heaving the distorted, gross body from the recliner. Up got to my feet, grabbed the stick, caught my balance, and was limping off to the bucket for a wee-wee. For a PSLWW (Powerful-Short-Lived-Wee-Wee). 

Stumbled (The uncut toenails and soles of the feet were giving me some grief), off to the kitchen Arthur Itis was again, as yesterday, hardly any bother at all, just stiffness. This convinces me that more rain is to come.

I had a look through the thick-framed, letting rain in, unable to reach to wash, photographer-hating designed, new window. I took this snap, in auto-setting, of the morning view. There had been some more rain overnight, but not a lot. I sense we are going to get some, Arthur Itis tells me! I closed the window, and ent to make a brew, of Glengettie Gold tea.

My kakorrhaphiophobia was miffed for a few minutes or so, by some testing Accifauxpas. But somehow I did not get uptight or annoyed at all?

  • I dropped the milk making a right mess on the floor and my legs. I just quietly cleaned it up, no inner-cursing or bad language?
  • Then, when it got to my taking the medications out of the pods, as I broke the cover, static which had built up, threw the Codeine 30g up towards the roof. I’ve not found it yet!
  • Then the cup slipped as I was taking it to the counter to do the health checks. I can now confirm that fresh-made Glengettie Gold tea, spilling onto one’s legs, is not recommended! Humph!

Still relatively calm, I got the BP tests done. The results on the sphygmomanometer seemed fair enough. The thermometer showed 73°f. I was still puzzled as to why I was so calm about everything? Perhaps the last few problematical and testing nychthemerals, made me realise that things could always be worse?

04:10hrs: Hello, the rains coming heavier now. Nae bothers to me, I’ll start the updating of yesterdays blog. I got it finished at about 06:00hrs Posted and done. Sent the Email links. Went on WordPress reader. Then made a start on this blog.

Went for another brew making session, Thompsons Punjana, my current favourite.

The toes were stinging, so I took off the slippers. Then thought about it, not such a good idea after all; if I do any toe-stubbing, there’ll be no padding. Haha! I put the slippers back on, (it hurt though, Tsk!)

Then onto TFZer and Winwood Heights Facebooking. Then did a template for tomorrow, had to rush it to get the ablutions done.

Well, what a set of farcical, farraginous, funny and unfunny incidents with the ablutions today! I came on in agony, bleeding and yet still contented in my little mind. Here’s what took place, as best as I can chronologically recall:

  • I needed the Porcelain Throne, which was not messy and over quickly. After five flushes, all failing to remove the contents, I gave up.
  • Started doing the teeth-cleaning. Apart from annoying Toothache Thomas, all went well. Grumplewuncks!
  • Shaving was another matter. As Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley kicked into life, the shaving foam spent more time on the floor or in the sink, than being used! Grobognangles!
  • Several cuts little cuts, dropped the razors (6), the after-shave using it to stop the bleeding. Groggleknockers!
  • The shower head was dropped (Shirley was still visiting), landing on my right foot, via the stomach and left knee! Globberisations!
  • The rest of the showering was incident-free!
  • Moving the shower chair so I could get near the wall-heater to towel off and do the medication. I painfully banged my left knee, on the corner of the seat, as an involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Peter Schuhplattler dance. Unbelievable! I haven’t suffered one for a week or more, and it had to come at the wrong time! Grumbleconfusement
  • I’d left the Germoloid in the kitchen, or front room, so I used some of the Care brand gel on the haemorrhoids. Yeeeeoww! It’s not as anesthetised as the Gemoloid is.
  • Leaving the room, with the towel, camera and bottle of olive oil to refill, and things in my hands. I realised I had not turned off the wall-heater, or checked to see if the taps had been left running. So, (for me) I rushed back in, and of course, the shower chair was in a different position than usual after the fracas with it earlier… and I stubbed my right little toe on the metal leg! Gramshackle-Globberisations! Spittlisations!
  • Then had to clean the puddle of olive oil, I’d dropped, and test the camera to see if it had broken!

I took a couple of pictures with the Canon, of the stubbed toe and my knees, it seemed to be still working. Phew! The pins and patellas were looking extremely good! Their best for months! Clopidogrel Clive and the varicose veins had abated as well? I risked allowing a short period of Smugness to overcome me! Haha!

The rain outside was more like repeated showers. I’ll try to remember when I do the waste bags, to take a photo from a different perspective, through the tatty window near the chute room.

To the scullery, and got the kettle on. I was still in an accepting mood, and this concerned me. After all the bad-fortune of the previous hours, I found myself whistling? Yet, in agony with the knee and toes. I am a Nebekh!

Last time this happened, I lost 10 hours from my memory. Not that it is likely to happen again… but then, knowing my luck? I got the earholes olive-oiled again, made a mug of Gengettie Assam tea, and back on Computer Cameron, to update this blog.

After an hour or so, I remembered I’d not done the black bag sorting yet. (Yes, I know, it’s hard to believe that a man of my calibre can forget things!) Har-har!

I made up three small bags and didn’t need the walker, the bags were so little, it was easy for me to carry them. I put the camera in my pocket (See? I don’t always forget, Hehehe), and using the wooden stick, I hobbled to the waste chute room. The rain or shower was falling again, and I caught it on camera.

I got back and thought another brew, and I’ll get some graphicalisationing on CorelDraw done. So, I did!

Back in a bit.

I’m back. Jenny called while I was graphicalisationing. She reported that several tenants had been told this week, by Iceland’s, Sainsbury’s and Asda’s deliverymen, that they are not allowed inside the building anymore, and to come down to collect their foodstuffs! She wanted to warn me. And kindly said that if it happens to me, to tell them, I’m disabled, but will ring a friend to see of they can get down for me. Then to ring Frank and Jenny and tell them. We spoke about other stuff, but the memory of what was said is vague now. The worry over if this happens has got to me.

I was not concentrating very well.

Gave up on the computing, and got a meal sorted. I didn’t eat it all, which is a rarity.

Put the pots in the sink to soak, then got down in the £300, c1968, second-hand, sickeningly-beige-coloured, none working, ramshackle, uncomfortable in the extreme, rusty, rickety, at times near-lethal, yet none-working recliner.

Sleep came swiftly for once. Very Nice!

Wee-weeless and uninterrupted! For 5½-Hours!

Inchcock – Wednesday 17th June 2020: Lots of lucubrationing, fretting and failures today!

Wednesday 17th June 2020

Serbian: Среда, 17 Jуна 2020

03:00hrs: I stirred into life, with a raging headache. For a moment or two, I lay gathering what senses I could.  Then traces of the dream I’d been having, came back to me, in some detail too! I grabbed the pen and notepad from the Ottoman, and scribbled down the finer points, as the memories faded again. Later, when I get a chance, I’ll go through them and let you know what real insanity I dreamt of.

The need of the Porcelain Throne arrived, and I disentangled my ultra-thin limbs, and overly-stomached, flabby belly from the £300, second-hand, c1968, rickety recliner. I got up on my feet and caught my balance without much bother at all. (Smug-Mode-Adopted!) Got the stick, and off to the wet room.

Without a doubt, this Porcelain Throne session was the easiest I’ve passed in many a month! But it was a messy one. Took no time at all, but cleaning up afterwards was a long, unpleasant job. Ah-well, can’t win ’em all! Still, the feet were looking a smidge better now. Not the Howard Hughes toes, though!

Sanitised and refreshed, I poddled off to the kitchen…

  Where I found the freezer door ajar! I closed it as quickly as I could. But it must have been opened for several hours. I dare not open it again yet. I’m praying some of the stuff will be useable when refrozen. Not that I am not expecting to be able to use much of the produce in it when I do. Just hope for the best. It is cram-packed full in there – and the possibility of my having to throw it all away. Bagging the waste-material into small bags so that they will fit in the tiny opening in the waste-chute. Too many trips to and from the room. Bending to get the stuff out, all put me on a bit of a downer. And I was hoping for a better day today, less stress, fewer incidents… Fool!

The fog had descended. There’s not much of a view outside this morning. I got the medicalisationing equipment out to do the Health Checks. I dropped the stick thermometer, but it still worked when I retrieved it with the picker-upperer.

The resulting figures all looked okay to me. No problems on the sphygmomanometer. The temperature just showed as ‘low’. If I’m not quick enough to get the instrument out of my ear-hole, the reading changes to low or high display. I was not fast enough – The story of my life there! Hahaha!

When I got to download the pictures later, I found this mystery photo? After applying my Sherlock Holmes-like investigative skills, I thought it was taken in the kitchen. When Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley had a little play with me. I took the medications and made a brew of Glengettie Gold tea.

At long last, I got on Computer Cameron. I made up a template for today. Then I started updating yesterday’s blog.

I finished it and had a look at the notepad with the scribbled dream memories. But my handwriting was so atrocious, much of it was indecipherable. Tsk! Using a bit of recollection and the writing that I could understand:

  • I was throwing food from the cupboards out of the window on the balcony.
  • A crowd gathered and started shouting for specific items, Bacon, cornflakes, bread and pickled, onions were amongst them as I recall.
  • Police cars arrived and arrested the crowd, presumably for not Social distancing?
  • When the Marias arrived, and the citizens were taken away, more Officers arrived, each with a shopping list!
  • A Tannoy was used, as they shouted up for what they wanted.
  • One chap asked for cheesy mashed potatoes. I explained I haven’t made any. The policeman Tannoyed back, ‘Yes, you have, on the second shelf up in your fridge!’ Then threatened to arrest me if I failed to find any for him?
  • I threw some requested Glengettie tea bags out, and then I went to look in the fridge.
  • Sure enough, a little like Dr Who’s Tardis, I opened the fridge door and walked into it. There were stacks, piles of food, and inside was as big as a football pitch! Hundreds of my plastic plates with cheesy potatoes, too!
  • I was forever going to the fridge for more cheesy potato meals and back to the balcony.
  • They had set-up a winch system now.
  • I’ve no idea why, but Police Helicopters and red coloured Tiger Moth planes filled the skies?
  • The doorbells rang out their usual ♫ I only want to be with you, ♫ tune.
  • The hallway outside was cram-packed with people vying to get me to adopt a giraffe, panda or Elephant, supply drinking water, pay for medications, and to take out an over 50’s death policy. Argh!

Many other things happened, but nothing clear comes to mind. I think the dream ended as I was fighting off the insurance and charity mob. I’d written down three pages of memories on the notepad. Undoubtedly, one of my curioser, more vivid dreams, methinks. The nightmare bit was those ‘Over-50’s’ sellers!

It took me some time to get the tale of the dream done, (And three variable wee-wees). I went to make another brew, with hopes of getting this one drunk. Haha! 

I spotted through the mist and fog, a couple taking their dog for a walk. I did my best to photograph them, on Auto setting, but it didn’t come out too well.

Then, I went on TFZer and Winwood Heights Facebooking. The mist is less now.

Time to see if I can get an order in for Morrisons. The last few times it’s taken between 2 to 4 weeks. I’ll give it a go.

Got it done! But I had to wait until Tuesday 30th June for a delivery slot. And that is a bit late in the day one. Unfortunately, 16:30 > 17:00 hrs. But the waiting doesn’t matter, as I have so much food in the flat at the moment, you wouldn’t believe how much!

Scary innit? Hahaha! By the time it arrives, I should be ready for it. In thirteen days, there should be room for it. Being the Unglefrogwoggling idiot that I am, I’m sure the recent Blank-Spots and Spells are the cause of my ordering food and not remembering, I’d done so.

I rang Sister Jane and Pete, as they have not answered my two emails sent yesterday, see if they are okay. The line (It always is) was bad, Jane rang me back. That was a bit better for hearing and understanding. Pete arrived near the phone, I wished him well with his experimental treatment at the City Hospital! When the conversation became three-way, I was lost altogether. Pete departed to do some shopping and check on his bank balance and investments. I then needed another visit to the Porcelain Throne. We parted, and I shot in the wet-room. When I say, shot…

I sat, sitting there for ages, convinced that something was about to erupt. But, No! Nothing moved, despite my firm belief that it was ready and willing, the innards refused to allow any evacuation! Still, I got a few more clues answered in the crossword book. 

Off to make another brew, this time of Thompsons Punjabi tea. I took a shot of the weather, still a bit misty, no signs of any rain. It doesn’t look the slightest bit like it’s going to be any precipitation! Inchcock wrong again!

Then I had a thought (I occasionally do), it doesn’t look like rain. So why are Arthur Itis’s knees losing pain and gaining stiffness? Every time they have done this in the past, rain or even a storm had come on the same day. I don’t suppose it matters, but my EQ faith suffers.

I had a check on the weather. That’s the weather than I was certain would produce rain today. Grobbleatkins!

Back to Computer Cameron, and went on the WordPress Reader section. That took me over an hour. I’d got behind with me reading, with the activity of the last few days. All caught up now.

I wet on the Nottinghamshire Live Full News Site. Here are the first few headlines on the page: Just to cheer you up, like!

Girl Found Dead in Nottingham Park.

Police close bridge as ‘pools of blood’ found following Nottingham shooting.

A teenager has been locked up after he stabbed a 20-year-old man during a “gruesome and violent” attack in Nottingham.

Millions of people in Beijing under new Coronavius restrictions. There have been 137 new cases in the last six days!

To make my day, the next page gave April’s Nottingham crime figures for my postcode.

Shuddering Shoulder Shirley kicked off again. Making doing any work on graphics impossible until, if, she gives me a break.

So, I got the nosh going. Despite my feeling half out of it, it was a decent looking and tasting effort, a little too much for me to eat it all, but I gave it my best shot! Flavour Rating: 8.2/10! After having eaten what I could of it, I was feeling more alert and aware of things.

Taking the things back into the kitchen to get them washed, it looked like an explosion had taken place. The mess I’d left from the cooking made the place look very untidy, a sausage lay on the floor near the stove, along with two halves of tomato, a fork, and an unidentifiable tablet—one of the small ones that all look the same, Furesomide, Beta-Blocker or a Codeine 30g. I think I was lucky that I didn’t leave the stove on, tap running, or window open. Shame-Mode-Adopted!

I tidied up a bit and got the washing done. And planned to get back to watch a re-run of a 2016 Euro match. Eventually, I got my head down to view the footy. Fell asleep, but woke up to see the penalty shoot-out, at least.

I got the headphones on, to watch and listen to a documentary on Channel 25, Freeview, there were not any subtitles on the programme.

However, when I went to make a brew, the EQ predicted rain arrived, but not a lot of it.

My new headphones on, and fell asleep, as expected. My waking up was a bit scary (Not really, but it made me jump). The right earpiece cover and foam, which I discovered was just stretched over the plastic, fell off. Falling down my shoulder, followed by the headphones, onto my Brobdingnagian-sized flobby-stomach is what woke me. I wondered what the heck had happened at first. Haha!

I set about trying to put the cover back over the ear-part. Not a good job, but it will do for now. Humph! 

Sweet Morpheous was reluctant again. Gragglespitness!

Inchcock – Tues 16 June: Wristwatch, camera, the 7inch hair mystery and more. (Sorry it’s a bit long, one of those days!)

TFZers: Garden Party?

Tuesday 16th June 2020

Hungarian: 2020 Június 16., kedd

04:00hrs: I lay there on the c1968, rickety recliner for a good while, assessing my situation mentally and physically.

After a mild form of organisation was gathered in the grey-cells, the first thing was to check the time on my Charity shop-bought £2 wristwatch. It was not on my wrist.

Well, fancy that! This not only confused me but annoyed me. All my energy and concentration went on a search for the timepiece.

It was paramount to me that it had to found! But it wasn’t! Despite heaving and hauling my colossal-bellied body from the none-working chair, and ferreting about looking for the watch. I got the torch and picker-upperer and looked underneath the furniture.

Getting back up on my feet was a bit painful, particularly the back and Howard Hughes-like toenails!

Where signs of nocturnal-meandering activity were diagnosed. Down there, was the TV and DVD remote, and a pen? But no, wristwatch!

I looked in the kitchen, then the wet room, and rechecked them both! Back to the recliner room. I had to force myself to stop the search and seek mission. I was getting so uptight and self-critical over the loss. I told myself that it was a temporary irremediable situation. I didn’t like or believe it, but something had to be done to stop my going addictively bonkers.

It didn’t really work though, as I went for a wee-wee, I kept looking in the silliest places for the watch. The need for the Porcelain Throne arrived at the same time. Which was one of the easiest evacuations for a long time? A smidge of bleeding, but not messy. It was over swiftly, and little odoriferousness either. This should have had me moving into a Smug-Mode, but the worrying over the lost-timepiece was ever-present.

For the first time ever, the wee-wee followed after the big evacuation? A new style as well. I Christened it as an SWP (Sprinkly-White-Painful) wee-wee.

Limped off to the kitchen. The morning view, albeit a later one this Tuesday, was a little misty. But when I opened the window, it was incredibly mild, I thought. Ah, one there for Bill, a red car! Hehe!

I had a rummage around and searched in the daftest of places in search of the watch. With no luck!

BP sphygmomanometer readings were pleasing and should have cheered me up a tad. All were looking better. The thermometer just showed as ‘Low’, but this missing timepiece was still wrangling at me!

I took the medications, then made a brew. A thought suddenly came to me (they occasionally do), had I dropped my beloved timepiece in a waste bin? After searching through all four of them, I found out I hadn’t. Grumblegrobbledamn!

I started updating yesterday’s post. Diligently making many miss-typing and spelling errors! Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley had started off again, Tsk! After a couple of hours, I went off limpingly to make another brew and needed two, I say, two, SWP (Sprinkly-White-Painful) wee-wees! (I’m not sure how much longer the carpet from the kitchen to the wet room is going to last, Haha!)

It seemed the mist was getting a little thicker as the morning went on? This time when I opened the window to take this photograph, it seemed a lot colder out here than it did earlier on? Brrr!

Another forage around in cupboards, drawers, etc. failed to find the £2 watch! Sob! Yet another wee-wee! Washed hands and contact points, and back on the well-trodden carpet in the hall, to Computer Cameron, and got the Tuesday blog finished at last. Despite Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, and Back-Pain-Brenda’s attentions!

I then got a message on the mobile. I had a look, and it was from Iceland. Telling me to check emails for details of changes to my order. What order, I thought? Then I investigated. Finding I had an order in for today, twixt 15:00 > 17:00hrs. Pathetic, I know, but I could not remember making an order for today? After examining the goods on the list, there was no doubt about it, the items were all things I might have ordered. A vague recollection of my looking at the ham misshapes?

Then, I noticed an Amazon email arrived. I used the tracker and got the map up, which means the delivery is close.

Ah, this could be dodgy time-wise, so I stopped and to get the ablutions done.

Not such a good session this time. I reckon this was because I was trying to rush it, in case the Amazon delivery arrived with the reusable facemasks. The teggies were done without any Whoopsies.  The shaving, well, there was a few.

The hairs were growing around the ear-holes, and I decided to use the razor to cut them. This did not work, so I got the scissors… I shouldn’t have done that! I should have known better, with Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley being on form! Hehe!

The legs looked a lot betterer this morning, though. The toenails were hurting every time I touched or moved on the mat. No shower, trying to save time.

As I was drying off, I caught sight of something I’d not noticed before. Brief History: Many years ago, when I had Duodenal Donald surgery, the hairs shaved off, on my chest and stomach, did not all return. Then, when I had the Aorta Valve replacement, there were very few that grew again. Then, after the stroke, what an oddity, they all fell out?

Now, I spotted two hairs on my chest, in the middle of the lower op scars, nearer the stomach, I think. One must have been about seven inches long? I wonder if they can do a transplant to my head? Hahaha!

Got redressed, and on the Amazon site, to check the tracker.

The delivery vehicle must be getting very close now.

I went to the kitchen window to see if I could spot a delivery van or lorry out there.

A van was parked in the Emergency Only bay (As do all vehicles). But it was not an Amazon vehicle.

Then, a grey car came up and turned at the dead end, and parked in the Emergency Vehicles Only parking bay. As I peered down at it, it was apparent that it was a Taxi or someone getting a lift with his shopping. It was my neighbour, Malcolm.

I took what I thought was three snaps. Below is what I found on the SD card when I came to download them. How did I do this? I was using the Canon SX 740 SH camera. I’m confused as to what I did wrong?

I’d spent a while taking these pictures, and panicked a bit when I realised. Had I missed a call on the Intercom? Then I realised that if anyone had arrived, I would have seen them. I’m losing it again!

I loitered around the flat hallway, so I could not miss it when someone rang the intercom. Ten minutes later, the box chimed out, and I pressed the listen button, but the machine went to a blue screen with the message ‘Hi’ on it? I pressed the admit button, but unsure if it had worked or not? I thought of going down, but what if I pass the chap on the way and end up missing him?

This was turning into another farcical day for me! I held my ground, and a chap arrived with the masks. Thanked him, and of off he shot. Leaving the covers near the door for me. Thank you!

I got the masks out to take a look—three in total, washable and reusable. I put them on the shelving for future use. When I am to be allowed out, is unknown, but at least when the time arrives, something like the Opticians, Pediatric Clinic, Dentist or Audio Clinic opens again, I’ll be alright for using the bus, at least. Of course, that is if I can live through and survive this isolationing. And put up with the agony from the uncut toenails, toothache, and mental anguish. Hahaha!

I made a brew and went to take a photograph of Marie’s, Koala Katie, and Pattie’s Scruffy, donated pets for me ♥, who I talk to each day, as they rest on top of the DVD shelves. But the Canon camera came up with this message as I returned the SD card. ‘Card cannot be accessed. Reinsert/change the card. Or format with this camera. Oh dearie me, what next is going to go wrong!

  • I took out the card and checked it was on the ‘Read’ position, which it was. I returned it to the camera, and still got the message.
  • I tried doing the same again. Same message!
  • I tried the other card in it, and that was alright.
  • Rechecked the Canon-card. Swapped it between open and closed, and put it back in. Same Message!
  • Removed it again, and was now out of ideas… It worked!

A sigh of relief was proffered forth.

Then I took a picture of my beloved pets and had a little chinwag with them.

Then I remembered the disappearing wristwatch. Surely it must be around the chair, I had it on last night, I think.

A long time ago, I wrote this view of the mysteriousness of the flat. Tim Price helped me. It’s grown over the months and is a little too long now, but I like it for a bit of fun and have used it a few times on the blog: 

“Ah, the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, hallucinations. Materialisations, poltergeist, lemures, wairuas, and kehuas. Manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear, and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan, ‘Let’s Piss-off Inchcock’ mission?” Well, now it’s getting more like a fact now, than fun! Hehehe!

Anyway, I had no luck with searching for the wet room and kitchen again for the watch.

My phagomaniac tendencies came into mind. And I returned to the food cupboards and fridge to ponder over what I fancied for my nosh.

Then I remembered the forgotten about Iceland order arriving twixt 15:00 to 17:00hrs. I decided to leave the meal until after the food arrived and I would make up my mind then. I’ll have a pot noodle, I can have if I get peckish… no, not a good idea! It will ruin anything I have later… Hello, I’m hesitating, equivocating, indecisive, vacillating, well, getting all muddled again! Decision-making and I were not meant to be a team after the Stroke.

I went on Facebooking then. I moved on to making-up a template for tomorrow. Got them all done, and…

Gluglegnatsworth!  I got out of the swivel chair to go and make another brew, lost my balance, and toppled forward,  dropped the China mug putting my hand out to break the fall,  landed on the recliner. As I came to rest, I found the missing wristwatch on the tray on the Ottoman as I dispersed the contents!

Unbelievable! This was the first place I looked for the timepiece as well, and did so again at least two more times during the day!

The painful fall, and even more hurtful getting back up my bulky, but flobby-body back on my feet, was somehow not as bad as it should have been! The delight in finding it was tempered by my confusion as to how I failed to see it in my earlier searches. Confusion Conrad was rampant and befuddling! And my confidence was at a low ebb!

I took some waste bags to the chute. Then a couple of recycling bags down to the caretaker’s room.

Doing the blog back up again, forgetting all about the tea I was going to make, I got on with updating this blog again. Warden and desk-top-dancer, Hauptbereitschaftsleiteress, Deana called, to check on things. I explained about my having to remain in isolation until the Doctor phones to let me know when I can be freed. Haha! Everything was fine, though. Little things like this, are appreciated, and supportive of my retaining my mental health. (Well?)

Back to the blogging and a message came in from Iceland. They are ahead of schedule and should arrive between 15:00hrs and 16:15 hours.

Life in one’s dotage, I always thought, would be slower, and much more hassle-free. Humph!

Dizzy Dennis, Saccades Sandra and Shaking Shaun all came on at the same time, and this was worrying. Yet, within around five minutes, they’d all left, leaving me with a cracking headache!

Iceland’s delivery man arrived. Thanked him and slipped him a G & T to him in thanks, and got the bags from the doorway into the kitchen.

Still a bit of a mystery as to how, when or why I made this order? But it had all the usual sort of stuff I have in it. I hope I hadn’t had a ‘Blank Moment’. Nott that I can say anything specific about these lapses, but, usually, I find out what I’d done, but no iota of any knowledge of this one, if it was one… I’ll stop mentioning it here, I’m confusing myself more than ever.

I got the goods stored away. There was a tray of frozen Chinese belly pork, the only thing different to usual. So I had that for the evening nosh. I’m worried that the cupboards may fall off of the walls! Haha!

The nosh was prepared and served up. A bit of a palatable feast as it turned out.

The Chinese belly pork, I cooked adding some Hickory. The last of the sourdough muffins, buttered and filled with off-cuts of smoked ham. A Marmite cheese disc, onions, beetroot, gherkins, and tomatoes. A lemon yoghourt, and a lovely crispy, South African apple to follow. My sitomania was well satiated this time. Gave this meal a Flavour-Rating of 7.8/10.

Incidentally, I found myself forever looking at my charity shop-bought, £2 wristwatch throughout the meal. I slept with it on tonight, fearing it may hide away from me overnight, again. Hehehe! 

Oddly, Sweet Morpheus was not interested. I put the TV on, it was a load of hogwash showing, yet still, I didn’t nod off?

When it did arrive, it was filled with pestering dreams. Colin Cramps was waking me up, and I think that each time I nodded off again, I rejoined the same, or similar dream?

Hey-Ho!

Inchcockski – Mon 15 June 2020: Working, fiddling about and getting nothing done. Impractical, incommodious and indeterminant day!

Monday 15th June 2020

Greek: Δευτέρα 15 Ιουνίου 2020

02:00hrs: I woke up well wanting a wee-wee. Wriggled my ghastly onerously bulky, but wobbly body from the depths of the £300, second-hand, none-working recliner, and with surprising dexterity, I shot off to the wet room (alright, hobbled precariously). The release was of the WOPT (Weak-Orange-Painful-Trickling) mode. (Indeed they were all of this style, all morning, and there were so many of them!) 

The poor old uncut toes, nails, and feet looked more gnarled than ever. I swear when I raise my foot, even a few inches, there is pain from under the nails! And I’m forever catching them on something, which is like an electric shock? Tsk!

To the kitchen, and got the kettle on. I know it’s a little earlier than I’ve gotten up for a couple of days, but the mist seemed to be coming down already.

I got the sphygmomanometerisationing done and assembled the medications ready to imbibe. All of the results were down vs yesterday. Including the temperature; that was at 79°c, one down on yesterdays.  No, that should be 79°f, surely. The pulse was ten points less. The Sys was five lower, and the Dia was two below. Better, methinks? Note the arithmophobia may mean I got something wrong.

Took the medications, with an extra painkiller, because Toothache Thomas was kicking off again.

Made a brew of Glengettie Gold, and put too much milk in it. So I used another tea bag to strengthen it a bit.

I got on Computer Cameron and went on the emails to check on the Morrison order. They have substituted Saver Garden Peas with Batchelor’s Mushy peas – and it looks like they are charging me for the more expensive unasked for ones? No Morrison Saver marrowfat peas, but they tell me they cannot deliver an alternative. Thank heavens for that. They may well have sent me a grilled Octopus with Ancho Chile Sauce & Noodle ready meal! But, at least they have sent the tissues for Jenny and Frank!

Then I made a start on updating the Sunday post. Finally, I got it finished and had to make some graphics for this diary. Then emailed the link, then went on TFZer and Windwood Heights Facebooking.

I went to make a brew of tea and took another view of the changing mist and fog. It’s getting a bit thicker now. But it didn’t feel too cold as I hung out of the anti-photographer designed, thick-framed, light, and view-blocking new window.

When I returned to the computer to download the photo on it, and this even amazed me: I had to go back to the kitchen, and search for the lens cap for the camera. After many minutes of searching, I returned to the computer area and scanned for the lens cap. This in itself is nothing new and is a frequent, almost several times a day event. I was getting annoyed with myself again. I looked in the wet room and hallway, no luck! Gave up and returned to the computer… the lens cap was on the camera!

I may have had another Blank-Spell, I suppose. But I don’t think so. I can usually read things and know something had happened, not sure what, sometimes mind. But not this time. The actions were all there in the grey-cells. Which in itself is something to be thankful for! Hahaha! I think my brain cells are showing signs of senescence.

Ah-well, it’s time to get the ablutions sorted out. No showering, of course, the noise may disturb the slugabed neighbours. Hehehe!

Well, well, well, one of the bestest ever ablutionary session for months! (Apart from a toe-stubbing against the shower chair as I moved it!) Not a single dropsy of the toothbrush or paste, soap or razors. Smug-Mode-Instigated! But I could have done without the toe-stubbing bit.

I got the bags made up for the recycling and waste chute, but with the deliveries being expected, I shall not take them out until after both have been delivered. Don’t want to miss them.

The mist is lifting a bit, I think?

O got on with this blog starting, and made a mug of Thompsons Punjana tea, much more of a bite to it than Glengettie Gold, but not as much as plain Glengettie. Confusing innit?

The intercom rang out, and I heard it well enough. T’was the much uptight Morrison delivery driver. With all the isolationists and their own worries about Coronavirus, this is only to be expected, the pressure on the lads and lasses much be extreme nowadays.

The lad left the bags near the door. I thanked him and slipped him a G&T. Off he raced.

Now, this is when my mood and physically improved status went down, ♫Way-Down!♫. On my first bend to collect a couple of the carriers, Back-Pain-Brenda gave me shocks of pains that have not cleared up yet (three-hours later!) Every slight bend or twist in the torso, brings forth knife-like stabbing pains I could do well without! I dare not take any more pain-killers, having already taken one extra to counter Toothache Thomas! Grunglegrogs!

Gingerly, I got the bags into the kitchen one at a time. Sorted out the tissues for Jenny, then got the other stuff checked and put away. It took me a lot of time, at one point I got down to put the chips in the freezer, and the back pain was so bad, I had to stay in that position for a while, and wait for it to ease-off before I dare get back upright again. Hey-ho! Got it all sorted, in the end. And back to Computer Cameron.

The Amazon folks had sent another email with a revised ETA. 

I pressed on with doing this diary. Until at least I thought that I needed the Porcelain Throne activities.

But no! I sat there for ages, doing my best to encourage the evacuation.

I had a go at the crossword puzzle. (I got a couple solved as well. Mind you, I was at it for ages, but no signs of any movement)

Not doing a lot of anything, I noticed the legs were an odd shade this morning. I didn’t see it earlier? When it came to standing up, I was wary of not catching the toes on anything. Anyroad, the pins may be a bit blotchier and anaemic. Still, the Clopidogrel allergy lumps, the spider veins, and the Thrombophlebitis give them an appearance, that Tim Price thought, some Art Gallery would like to display. Hahaha! I think the odd colouring in the leg picture, is down to my lack of photographic skills, in reality, they were not so vivid.

Moved onto CorelDrawing. Managed to get a few graphics done.

Jenny emailed me. Checked the Amazon tracker. The progress graph has no moved at all, and the ETS has changed to a little later. Oh, dearie me! Fingers crossed.

Intercom, Amazon delivery. Got the flaky biscuits ready with the tissues near the front door. I was meaning to slip a masherina (facemask) on, before opening the doors, but forgot to. Humph!

Getting Shaking Shaun, joining in with the back pain. Then sudden fatigue came over me.

Jenny emailed, then later rang me, but I could not hear her, the line was terrible. I tried four or five times to ring her on the landline, but it was engaged.

Frank came up with the bleach and yoghourts for me and collected the bags from me. I still had the shakes going a bit ferociously.

Got some nosh prepared. And got down to eat it, with designs on getting to sleep soon. Hahaha! Fool!