The Nape Of Existence – Inchcock’s realisation of his life’s failure… Sad innit?

1Mon001

I desired to reach the nape of existence,

With a misunderstood persistence,

Then realised the task would be immense,

For of education I’d had no experience,

Knowledge of the Nape of Existence was absent,

So I’ll search blindly, hopelessly like the past and present,

Foolishly stumbling, failing, and that’s reminiscent,

Making Cock-ups, mistakes, none of them maleficent,

My brain and logicality as usual, quiescent,

The memory teasing with odd flashes, relucent,

Then overconfidence dawns, I feel omnificent,

Life is good then, the world appears magnificent,

My desire returns, to be kind and beneficent,

A Whoopsiedangleplop, Accifauxpa attacks: Back to reticence,

Self-loathing hatred begins, confidence goes decrescent,

It dawns that life is dark and bleak, not iridescent,

So I write a confusing ode and realise I’m obsolescent!

I fank you.

Penned in Support of the Outer Peruvian Pregnant Kangaroo Society

By Inchie

73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!

12 comments

  1. Timothy Price – I specialize in daily art, documentary and promotional photography. If you have a special event such as a musical production, play, concert, etc. or have a product or fashion that you need photographed, or you are a performer, musician and artist in need of promotional photos please email me or call.
    Timothy Price says:

    Great poem. You are being too hard on yourself. The blogosphere is full of risks of offending people.

    1. Inchie – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock says:

      I am very ashamed of my thoughtless supposedly humorous comments, Tim. Especially upsetting the gals who I admire so much. This has destroyed my health and contentment, but I only have myself to blame. That makes it worse of course.
      Cheers Sir.

      1. Timothy Price – I specialize in daily art, documentary and promotional photography. If you have a special event such as a musical production, play, concert, etc. or have a product or fashion that you need photographed, or you are a performer, musician and artist in need of promotional photos please email me or call.
        Timothy Price says:

        Can you apologize? I would think that anyone who reads your blog knows you do everything in fun and jest and that you don’t intend to offend or upset anyone. I would think the only person you might offend with personal comments is yourself.

    2. Inchie – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock says:

      Apologise and explanation sent to Maggie straight away by email, Tim.
      She kindly replied and will be seeing me next week about things.
      Your right about offending too.
      Cheers, take care.

      1. Timothy Price – I specialize in daily art, documentary and promotional photography. If you have a special event such as a musical production, play, concert, etc. or have a product or fashion that you need photographed, or you are a performer, musician and artist in need of promotional photos please email me or call.
        Timothy Price says:

        There you go. Sounds like progress.

  2. Marissa Bergen – Burbank, Ca – This blog is a semi auto-biographical view of my life, beginning as a rocker chick from Brooklyn, moving on to playing in a punk band on New York's Lower East Side, to my current lot in life as a working mother of two, now living in Los Angeles. I love writing because you can be whoever you want to be when you write. Therefore, I would never want to pigeon-hole myself too much in my blog. However, I don't think I will ever deviate too much from what is innately in my blood, that being humor and sarcasm. Recently I have been turning more and more to poetry. I like poetry because it let's you say so much more with so much less, so much more about so little, and it also distances you from the subject matter, making you much less likely to offend someone, which I would probably otherwise do on a daily basis.
    Marissa Bergen says:

    Sure, why not?

  3. Orbb Spider – Long time reader, turned book blogger. Come with me on a journey through the literary cosmos as I wander through diverse genres. Let's talk story and take a deep dive into plot points.
    orbb80 says:

    <3

  4. The Whitechapel Whelk – We are a small, but perfectly formed band of satirists and smudge artists. We neither drink nor smoke. Nor indeed, do we use profanity or indulge in the sinful pleasures of the flesh. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get down the pub before closing time for a few pints and half an ounce of Golden Virginia. Hopefully, I'll have enough cash left to visit the local rub 'n' tug shop later for a massage and a rattling good bunk up with a painted floozie. All The Best. Danny SoZ. Editor-in-chief
    The Whitechapel Whelk says:

    Upsetting the opposite species eh mate? You’re like a bunch of ravening animals you Midlanders! 🙁

    1. Inchie – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock says:

      Dangerous!

  5. duncanr – <b>Likes</b> – Booze, Dogs, Women (Not necessarily in that order) <b>Dislikes</b> - People telling me what to do
    duncanr says:

    if she is looking to pick up business from other tenants in the flats, inchy, I can see why she would think your comments – even if meant as a joke – are not helpful in that regard, particularly if other tenants read your blog

    perhaps you can make amends and mollify her by doing a special post on your blog making a public apology to her and her staff making clear any comments you made re the standard of cleaning service they provided that may have come across as critical were made tongue-in-cheek for comedic effect and that you are more than satisfied with the service they have provided for you

    you could also praise the cleaners for their warm, friendly nature – say how you look forward to their weekly visit and the pleasure of their company, and stress how much you appreciate all they have done for you

    in short, grovel, inchy, grovel 😆

    1. Inchie – Nottingham. UK. – 73 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Metal ticker, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Rheumatoid Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Sandra, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock says:

      I put one on their Facebook Duncan. I happens to be dead true that I love them like daughters and do enjoy their visits – and belatedly realised what I’d done and felt horrible and stupid for doing it. That’s why Duodenal Daniel is giving me such a bad time, and the depression and self-loathing is anxiety. Seeing the quack about it on Thursday. I’m as low (with myself) as I have ever been mate. The most helpful set of gals I’ve ever come across as well. God, I feel… a &X☺°#!
      But you’re right, I will crawl and beg forgiveness, no problem in doing it, convincing them though… Oh dear.
      Cheers again mate.

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