Would you like to help this 72-year-old young Inmate to find a life again?
After several failed escape bids, and his refusal to love his new windows, that block the light and view; something had to be done.
The management has no other option to put Inchcock up for adoption.
Although getting on a bit in years, he has no problem in manoeuvering to and from the cell blocks daily. His stratagem, as with many of the detainees, is just to ignore the lorries, tractors, etc. and plod on.
He sometimes goes out during his exercise period, to the wood behind his block.
Should you not get along with Inchcock after taking him in, don’t worry. He is suicidal, and few well-chosen words of reprimand, reproach or if desperate, an unwarranted tongue-lashing for something he didn’t do, will suffice.
Forced to maneuver the Dreaded Chestnut Way, every day.
In all weather...
The Guards keeping a weary on the inmates...
More cement and hardcore being brought in...
Still, the weather is nice... Hehe!
So, you can see, if you decided to adopt Inchcock, you would not be getting a totally inept or immobile adoptee, indeed. He is capable of cleaning shoes for you (although this must not include his bending down, as he can’t get back up again).
The Nottingham City Council have made arrangements for his funeral, if he snuffs it before the upgrading is done, anyway.
No matter what the weather, he gets out to his Doctors, chemist, clinic, and hospital almost daily. This would, of course, mean less hassle with having to listen to his stories of the 50’s and how much simpler life was then, and the musical talents of Frankie Vaughan and Billy Fury. Another bonus for any adoptee!
No matter what the weather, he gets out to his Doctors, chemist, clinic and hospital almost daily
No matter what the weather, he gets out to his Doctors, chemist, clinic and hospital almost daily
No matter what the weather, he gets out to his Doctors, chemist, clinic and hospital almost daily
No need for you to worry in the event of any fire alarms either.
Inchcock knows many of the Fire Service personnel himself.
And he has watched them as they attend the average twice weekly false fire alarms to Woodthorpe Block. And I can say that none of these emanated from his Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles infested cell.
So, another possible worry about adopting Inchcock is deleted.
He has grown to like his Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles.
August
Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles
.
Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles
If he is adopted on his release, this will mean so much to him, knowing he no longer has to kill the creatures every day, to avoid being bitten.
It was mentioned at the last Block Wardens meeting, about the amount of what he calls Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxpas he suffers. This is nothing to worry about, we don’t, just ignore him, and he’ll go away back to his crossword book, no problem.
Burnt fingers using the oven, do not bother him. He's had so many now.
Walking into things is his forte.
His new ticker is fine.
Some ailments confuse him.
Comp
Shaving can be a challenge, best encourage him to grow a beard.
4 / 8
If Inchcocks becomes defiant and will not do as he is told, here is the advice of the Oberführer and Gruppenführer of the Winwood Alcatraz Wardens Union and Training Brigade. Just ignore him, unless there is some valid point to his moaning, then pretend to listen intently, then ignore him. It works a treat!
In the rare event that he persists, offer him a scowl, and threaten him with eviction and being moved to a prison cell in a rough area of Nottingham. That always quietens Inchcock down, for us.
You will have no problem with his often almost daily visits to the doctor for his blood tests and fungal lesion treatment.
As long as you live no more than two miles from Carrington, in Nottingham.
He enjoys the hobbling to and fro, and seems to get some satisfaction from the telling-offs and reprimands when he arrives at his surgery. He is also in love with one of the nurses.
No need fret over his medicationalisationing needs at all.
He can take his medications, albeit that he gets them wrong at times, this is nothing for any prospective adoptor to worry about, though.
In the event of his snuffing it while in your care, call for a quick removal of the body. Inform Nottingham Winwood Alcatraz Wardens Union on 0115 955 0029, and he has a nose ring he keeps with him, at all times. It is the only thing he has left of any value, but it could fetch up to £1.50, so worth searching for.
Prisoner 72, is well known for his willingness to help at the outings and trips away.
The Social side of things can be a bit daunting for Inchcock.
His social skills are somewhat limited, but he does try his best, although without much success. But credit to him for trying.
He can be used for doing the washing for any adoptee and their family. He is well versed in the operation of older washing machines and is a bit of a wizard with the iron.
One handicap with his doing the laundry is his persistent habit of finding odd socks. This does not matter to him, or that he is that short-sighted he usual wears odd ones anyway without realising it.
His being deafish could well help and having a bad memory can come in handy for any adoptor. He’ll believe it when you tell him you told him yesterday! Hehe!
Well-versed in electrical work and planning.
He is the envy of many other prisoners, at how he keeps his cell arranged.
His window cleaning skills are a bit different from most inmates.
But they usually get a laugh.
Naturally, they are part of his many flunked escape plans.
So, if you can help us with this overweight, deaf, short, bald, Duodenal Ulcer, Anne Gyna, Reflux Valve, Harold Haemorrhoid, Hippy Hilda, Hernia Harry, Dizzies Dennis and Shaking Steven ailment suffering old Inchcock, and take him away, please get in touch.
0305hrs: My post-prandial awakening was not recorded as I usually like to tell folks of, you know the different moods, ailments, etc. from one A.M. to the next. But, because of the urgent and instant need for the Porcelain Throne facilities had grasped all of my attention!
No toe-stubbing or knocking anything over en route to the Throne. Good!
Most lamentably, but not fully woefully. The evacuation was again a start, get half-way, Stop – and I got nearly a full chapter of the book read before any movement began again. And they were long chapters in this book! Hehe!
Harold’s Haemorrhoids did no bleeding. Good!
A few of the Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles were scattered around the wet room floor, but I only managed to catch one of them. (Slow? Me? – yes!)
I thought I’d squashed the beast well, and threw him or her in the sink. Sprayed with disinfectant and turned on the hot water tap. It made no difference, the little thing scampered and disappeared down the plug hole well before any water hit it.
I went into the spare room to weigh myself for the daily Health Checks I was going to carry out.
Oy-yoy-yoy! Hundreds of the damned Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles! I got last bit of the masking tape and began to ‘stick them up’ as if to put it. Again, far more of them escaped that I caught. Most of them abscondicated through the tiny cracks left when the unwanted light and view-blocking new window frame was fitted.
I’m surprised that no NCH people have taken up my case with them. Still, with any luck when the electricians get around to destroying the flat when they fit the water sprinklers, this might scare the weevils off? No doubt a quidquid erit, omnis fortuna ferenda est, of course. I wonder if the cold weather will help when it arrives?
I got the computer on to do the Health Results. Went to add a word I’d created to my Excel Word Dictionary on Word…
I lost all of my dictionaries from the hard drive!
My skin turned eau-de-nil, I felt so sad and yet angry with myself at the same time. It must have been something I did wrong that caused this catastrophe! I lost hours and hours hunting around my computer, searching and consulting help pages in a vain effort to find out what had gone wrong. I had a wee-wee, made another brew to replace the one that had gone cold, and got on with the Health Checks.
My mood was now one of grief, deeply-miserable, frustrated and downhearted… and really miffed and full of self-loathing, fuming at myself for the mistake I must have stupidly committed, whatever it was, that cost me my word calendars. Tsk! And extremely concerned that I might make the same error again, at a later time.
Nothing upsets the stupid more than arguments they can’t understand! Someone said that, but I can’t remember who it was. But they were spot-on!
With little enthusiasm, I went to make another brew of tea for the same reason as the last one, it had gone cold also. And finally get the Health Checks completed.
Then finalised yesterday’s diary and get it sent off to WordPress.
Did some TFZer Facebooking.
I cut up some of the Portabello mushrooms and got them in the saucepan with the last of the fresh garden peas.
I had to use the large saucepan, but that is one that I dropped and broke the lid on. So I cunningly used a foil tray in place of the cover.
And spent ages having to go back to it and wipe up the condensation. Tsk!
It’s easier than folks think to cut your finger chopping up mushrooms
Hahaha!
So late, I’d lost the day to sorting, or rather, failing to sort out the MS Excel disaster I’d somehow created.
Back to Facebooking for a while. Then got the Health Checks done.
I boiled the garden peas and quartered the mushrooms. Simmering them with a splash of Balsamic vinegar and greatly overcooking them.
The Chinese Mini Ribs went into the oven with the crock-pot cooked, mini potatoes and were sprayed with butter flavoured oil.
The chip sticks, I added when I realised how little the plate had on it.
I must mention the Farmfood Shop bought mini ribs. The pack said there was 400g of contents. I’m sure that 95% was bone!
But that 5% of meat, was oh, so tasty!
And it had the added amusement of my trying to eat it without my now gone front tooth! Hard work! Hehe!
So little was the meal, I nibbled a packet of cheese curls and then the last of the lemon Ice-cream afterwards. Guilt? Me?… Yes!
Went to get the washing-up done.
Some Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles were in the basin in the sink. How do these tiny beasts get into these places?
I think, after looking at the photograph, there might have been either a fight going on or a romantic liaison, twixt the weevils?
I got settled down in the recliner. Chose some TV programmes to watch. Took the evening medications with some orange juice and set about viewing a New Zealand Police episode, with the intention of watching a film that followed.
It was not to be.
I nodded off into the land of Nod, as soon as the first set of advertisements that came on.
0225hrs: I woke with a start – still feeling tired, and the mind racing away so fast, I forgot each subject, fear or worry I was having the second the next one came along to agonise over. Tsk!
0245hrs: Once again, the ailments seemed to be kind to me, but of course, I haven’t moved physically yet. Although mentally, intangible as they were, the maelstrom of thoughts, anxieties, and ideas steadily dissipated. To be suddenly replaced with Duodenal Donald as he kicked off with a vengeance rarely known. Grumph!
It was no surprise to me, recently my afflictions, malaise’ and infections have been catching me out with their changes in attack formations and timings. Hehe!
0255hrs: As I positioned myself to get out of the £300 second-hand whining-in-use recliner, furuncular thoughts developed when I caught my rear-end getting up. An initial investigation was carried out by touch.
Boils I think, right next to some of Harold’s Haemorrhoids! I made my way to the wet room for further examination. Not that I could see them of course. Four growths that I sense are boils, carbuncles, or maybe abscesses. But they are very minute in size, and often these things don’t burst forth and just seem to go away. I hope these will be those types. They are not really painful, just a smidgeon and then only when I catch the area. I hope I’ll be able to sit painlessly and comfortably on the computer chair later.
Washed and medicated the ‘spots’ with antiseptic cream. Got the dressing gown on (it was a little cooler this morning), and went to get the Health Checks completed.
Getting the kettle on, and the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. Off back to the wet room I trudged. No movement whatsoever, but the sensation that things needed to be evacuated remained? Three full pages of the book later, I gave up.
Went to wash my hands, and found three of the Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles in the washing sink.
Grumph!
But I could not see any of the little buggers on the floor anywhere?
I spotted some mail on the floor near the door. A message from Jenny. And the INR blood test results with new dosages. The INR (International Normalised Ratio, also referred to as Prothrombin time (PT), and is a standardised measurement of the time it takes for blood to clot. – [Thanks to Tim Price]) was 3.4 which was almost spot on!
To the kitchen and got the kettle on.
I emptied the black bags and disinfected sprayed the insides and made up three of them to go to the chute later.
Just one Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetle inside today.
I got him and executed the trespasser.
Made a brew and got the computer on and settled to make a start on this blog.
I got into it, and let the mug of tea go cold. Tsk! Went to make another one.
Blow me down with a feather duster! A single lone Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetle was nonchalantly patrolling the top of the cooker. Cheek Already!
I decided that today, I would appease my ecdemomania, and have a hobble around Bulwell. This will enable me to get some of the Scottish Shorties biscuits, I hope.
I got up to here with this blog and went on the WordPress Reader section.
Well, Hell Bell’s, Liberty Global-Virgin Media Internet went down a few times!
Hard to believe, I know. (Sarcastic Mode Engaged) Tsk! and Humph! Ahntoisht!
Despite the best efforts of Virgin Media, I got yesterdays blog finished off and posted to WordPress.
Then, I went on TFZer Facebooking.
I got a graphicalisation for the TFZ site, Hobble in the Woods series made and posted off.
I like this one, hope the others do too.
Then, the danged Liberty Global-Virgin Media Internet started to go dead slow again, so I decided to get the ablutions sorted.
Had to rush a bit, with spending so much time on the graphicationalisationing. But it was refreshing deep-decoking session. Hehehe!
I popped up to Jenny’s flat and took the butter and oil with me. Handed it to Frank, and he gave me in return, a packet of Scottish Shorties that Jenny had got for me. Bless her!
I put the empty pickle jar in the bag, gathered the black bags and took them to the waste chute. Dropped the glass off in the recycling bin. And made my way along Chestnut Walk to the Nottingham City Homes, Winwood Heights, Unterscharführeress Wardens Temporary HQ, Willmott-Dixon workers breakfast and tea-break room, Sarcasm & Insult distribution area, Tenants Socialisation Shed, Telling Inchcock off Zone, Things like crockery and pottery to be stolen from, and somewhere to rest while waiting for the bus, shed.
The lorry on hire to Willmott-Dixon looked a bit threatening, but he stopped short before there was any danger of his crushing me under his tyres.
Haha!
I went on what was left of the grass verge to take this decent shot of the Woodthorpe Court flats.
Beginning to look rather pristine, now.
I just hope the Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles I’d left rampaging through my apartment, appreciate the builder letting them in when they installed the new unwanted windows.
I was thinking of giving the weevils names? Only joking!
The grabber on the back of the wagon was soon busy removing concrete, soil and other undesired debris, aggregate and detritus from inside the compound.
Try saying that when you’ve had a few? Hehe!
The paddling-pool seems to be coming on well. Not really, but it does look like one! Harf-Harf!
I shared greeting with a few tenants en route to the cabin. Once inside I chinwagged with Warden Deans. Mable, Penny, Welsh William and two other gals and me had a good natter and laugh. The mobile went a few times, but I was not quick enough to get it out of my pocket before it stopped.
The bus arrived, a few talks with others on the way. I was soon dropping off in town, on Upper Parliament Street.
On Milton Street, I spotted this giant model bird, and I wondered what it was all about.
Got to the bus stop to await the arrival of a number 17 to Bulwell.
I was the only one in the queue, but it soon built up.
I saw a sign on the rubbish bin. It appears there are 31 of these Robins to find in the City Centre. I suppose there is a prize or something, to be won?
When the bus arrived, the Nottinghamian’s surge forward, ensured I was the last to get on the bus. Uncouth lot!
The route the bus takes, passes the end of the road where I lived before moving into the Winwood flats. The vehicle was getting a move on, so I was lucky the picture came out as well as it did.
The view took me back. The hassle, the muggings, the break-ins, the hospital… Oh never mind!
It made me feel glad I had escaped.
I think the bus driver, just might have been The Stig. Haha!
Off the bus, I cut-through onto Main Street.
More people about on this visit – but an atmosphere was lingering, my EQ picked up on it.
I suppose it is best described as the people seemed to be going about with bated breath and partial fear.
I went into the Fulton Food Store.
They had no Scottish Shorties on sale, so I had a look around, but found nothing I needed or was exceptionally cheap, so left empty handed.
I spent a while in the Market Place, but it is a sad place compared to what it used to be, all vibrant and full of laughter. Now it has pickpockets, a lousy choice of food and wears and it being watched by the police. I recognised a CID officer, Sergeant Redgate sat in a car.
I went to the Heron Food Store and had a nosey about. I came out with a box of tomato passata, smoked bacon and a packet of biscuits called Tasties, that looked like Scottish Shorties to me.
Over the road to the River Leen to feed the Mallards. But they were not to be seen anywhere?
Thankfully, a few pigeons saved the day and prevented me wasting my time, altogether.
Back to the Farmfood Store. Came out with Chinese mini-ribs, Glazed parsnips and some Scottish Shorties! Hurrah! With Jennies, I have enough for over a week now. Nocturnal nibbling not interfering, that is.
I nipped in the B & M shop. But came out empty-handed.
Off to the bus station and caught a bus to town.
Managed to get a half-decent photo through the bus window, of the amazing clouds in the very blue sky, travelling to the City Centre.
I’d only got a tiny bit of a hobble in today, but it is better than nothing, and I did enjoy it.
Took my time and pottered around, feeling almost stress-free.
And the ailments (other than Duodenal Donald and the plates-of-meat), have indeed been kind to me, so no complaints there.
I glanced up at the old Elite building as I passed by, where the gargoyles us to be on the roof. They really did give the place a touch of class. But, Health & Safety have forced them to be taken down.
Which is a shame, because three of the scaffolders removing them were hospitalised.
You can see in this photograph on the right, the housings on the top where they used to be on display. Newly cleaned and painted now.
I limped to Queen Street, just in time to miss the L9 bus back to the flats. Humph!
Ah-well, you can’t win em all!
I moved down to the number 40 bus stop. One heck of a queue there. The Nottinghamian’s were not a happy looking bunch of bunnies either.
When the bus arrived, and I got on, only one seat was free.
On the way, I struggled but did get out the camera to take another shot of the beautiful sky again.
I dropped off the bus on the bend in Winchester Street Hill.
Crossed the road without any bother, and started to make my way down the hill towards the flats.
You can’t see the new extra-care flats in this picture, with Winchester Court (right, nearest) and Woodthorpe at the back, both looked a lot better now that the Wilmott-Dixon lads were making progress with the upgrade.
Mind you, I think it will be another year before they are all done.
I called in the Nottingham City Homes, Winwood Heights, Oberfeldwebeless Wardens Temporary HQ, Willmott-Dixon workers breakfast and tea-break room, Sarcasm & Insult distribution area, Tenants Socialisation Shed, Telling Inchcock off Zone, Things like crockery and pottery to be stolen from, and somewhere to rest while waiting for the bus, shed.
Chinwagged with Frank and he told me to go see Jenny.
So I did. I said my farewells and moved on out the other end of the building, out into the now hazy sunshine.
Took a shot of the new build and Winchester Courts as I was about to go into my beloved Woodthorpe Court.
I went to see Jenny first. She needed a telephone number of someone, luckily I had it on my mobile and supplied it.
Down to my flat, and had a wee-wee.
Seeing some Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetles, in the sink. I nobbled them and went in search of any other of the damned things I could get.
On the wet room floor, were a lot of the weevils. So I got down to photograph the Critter Box victims, and much to my dismay, getting myself back up, proved not to be a natural or pain-free procedure. It started Duodenal Donald off worse than ever, and Anne Gyna joined in. (Albeit not so bad)
By the time I got myself ready to attack them, they were long gone – where to I has no idea. Humph!
To the kitchen to get the medications taken, and do the Health Checks taken.
I found three more of the little creatures in the washing-up bowl in the sink.
Did the checks and tablet taking.
Not doing so well now, am I? Haha!
I decided on bacon, passata and mushrooms for the nosh.
I chopped up some, of what Morrisons comically called and labelled as SMALL chestnut mushrooms.
Got updating this blog again.
Health Checks and medications sorted out. Then the Nosh was prepared.
Smoked bacon and tomato passata, with some of the wholemeal bread tins.
A simple meal to make, but it was delightfully tasty!
A Flavour-Rating of 8.2/10 was given.
I decided to watch a Hetty Wainthroppe Investigates DVD – and watched it all the way through without any nodding-off!
I did the pot washing and found a dang Evil Boll Weevil Ironclad black biting beetle or two on the kitchen towel.
I turned to the TV to watch the Dog Whisperers, and the doorbell chimed. By the time I got out of the £300 second-hand recliner and to the door, whoever it was had long gone, no signs of any letters or notes or parcels?
Back to the recliner and into it, to watch the Heartbeat on channel 10.
Ten minutes later, and the doorbell chimed! Again, no one there when I opened the door. Tsk!
I soon fell asleep when the commercials came on the TV.
Later, I don’t know what time it was, the flipping doorbell chimed again. I ignored it.
