Why Inchcock’s Confidence is at an all-time low. An Ode, laugh and a truth”

1Mon06

Thoughts that Inchcock considers as vital information to pass-on to the younger generation, in a bid to help them decide when to top themselves.

Knowing what is coming to them in old age.

Here starteth the THOUGHTS of WOE

My confidence is at an all-time low,
Things I need, disappear, memories don’t flow,
What’s right, wrong or real, where to go,
Sometimes frustrated, I’ve a wee-wee overflow,
I can’t play an instrument, trumpet or piano!

I fall asleep anytime, anywhere, stunts my workflow,
A bag-of-nerves, no confidence, I’m going loco,
Will I ever regain my sanity? I just don’t know,
Losing my mobility capabilities is a severe blow!

Just some of the programmes I miss watching, though,
Red Dwarf, The A-Team, Heartbeat, Boon & Columbo,
All on Freeview now, but I can’t watch them though,
I can’t stay awake long enough to watch a TV show!

I eat foods from Idaho, Sesotho, Mexico, Morocco,
Montenegro, and Puerto Rico, as my stomach, does grow!
I can’t see my feet when stood up, you know!
Lost Faith in Muslim, Christianity, Gnosticism & Shinto!
In Tellurians, politicians, banks, and Boll-Weevils, too!

Getting up in a morning is a pitiful, painful fiasco,
As are bending, stretching and lifting things is also,
But the mental side, the brain burst into a crescendo,
But no ideas, aims, plans, designs or manifesto,
Always, I use the feeble excuse, “I’ll get it done tomorrow!”

In depression, moroseness I will often wallow,
Meekly go along with others, revealing no bravado,
The only solution is a brain transplant to undergo,
Then I can take lessons, in Judo and Aikido,
Become a Champion, a success, make lots of dough!

Go on TV with Richard Attenborough,
Defeat my enemies, crush my foe!
Become admired, a local hero!
Get a job in Santa’s Grotto!
Or should I just get blotto?

Just a few of the daily ailments below that you can expect.

I didn’t put the Kidney stones, blood poisoning or Mental Decay on the list for fear of making it sound a tad too bleak for the ankle-snappers!

1Mon07

Inchcock Today – Wed 6 Mar 2019: Guilt, failures, let-downs and Accifauxpa.

ZZZZWA01g03

2019 Mar 06

Wednesday 6th March 2019

Icelandic: Miðvikudagur 6. mars 2019

WD153.51.0 22:10hrs. I woke, and as soon as I moved, just about everything on my abdominously overweight body seemed to either hurt or ache! The back, stomach, arms, legs, feet; especially the left sole, and neck. Not to mention Haemorrhoid Harold, Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, Anne Gyna, Arthur Itis, Back-Pain Brenda, and Kidney-Ache Kevin all kicking off when I tried to get up!

I limped to the wet room for a wee-wee. As I hobbled along, I could feel that dreaded wet/warm sensation from Little Inchies department. The wee-wee was again of the LDOPWW (Long-Drawn-Out-Persistent-Wee-Wee) type. I did the necessary cleansing, and medicationalisationing needed, releasing the odd Ooh and flinching. Hehehe! Don’t know I laughed there!

2Tue06WD153.51.0 The legs had begun to swell and fill up with fluid. Some new odd spots and blotches had appeared. A few spider-veins seem to have disappeared, and overall, the legs felt far more cumbersome and heavy than of late. Still, it keeps me interested.

I washed-up and as I was going out through the door, I had to backtrack to use the Porcelain Throne. The evacuation was more natural and less messy this time. I washed the hands again, and off to the kitchen.

2Tue04WD153.51.0 The site that greeted me depressed me. All that time doing the cupboards (Well, one of the nine that need doing, not to mention the 16 drawers to do yet), got to me for a moment when I realised how much still needed doing

Depression dawned! All that effort and pain I went through yesterday, and it still looks worse than when I started the job! Grumph!

Part of my trouble is that I cannot keep going like I used to, and before long after starting, there is always one or more of the ailments to give me grief.

Today, when I get around to doing the first of the bottom floor level cupboards, this will be the greatest challenge for me. Getting short of breath with the bending down and getting up, that damned nasty step-ladder… Oh, stop moaning Inchcock, just gerron wiv it!

Not yet though, it’s far to early to make any noise and disturb my neighbours. Yesterday’s new found spirit and determination to get the Spring Cleaning done, was not as strong today. Humph! 

I got the sphygmomanometer out and got the Health Checks done.

2Tue08

2Tue07Ah, these first readings are looking better than the previous two days. The temperature is tumbling down nicely.

I took the medications with some spring water, then made a brew, and off to the computer.

As I sat myself down in the swivel chair, the need for yet another Porcelain Throne session became obvious and urgently so.

Off to the wet room with alacrity. An excellent session, during which I got a chapter of the Victoria Wood biography read. Washed the dandies yet again, and to the kitchen to make another brew.

I set about and stuck with updating the Tuesday blog with diligence. Got it finished and posted off to WordPress.

I thought I heard a chugging noise, assuming it was coming from outside, I opened the unwanted new light and view-blocking window, positioned and climbed the step-ladder, 2Tue05to look down over the ledge to investigate.

I took this snap downwards. It revealed nothing untoward that might have been making the chugging noise. Only that it had been raining outside.

This made me realise that I had not had a vicambulate out for a while. I blame my heroic, brave but unquestionably imbecilic determination to use my preciously limited time left to me, to get the Spring Cleaning done, for this situation!

WD153.51.02Tue03 On returning to the computer, I spotted the missing second-hand £2 wristwatch underneath the sideboard on which the Bang Olufsen stands!

Amazing! This is the second place I had looked for the timepiece when I first misplaced it. I am sure it was not there then! I recall getting down on my weak knees to search, and struggling to get back up?

As Tim Price from New Mexico said: “I believe the various goings on in your flat leave little doubt about whether or not aliens, ghosts, goblins, pixies, fairies, spirits, angels, demons and other paranormal phenomena that traipse along through multiple dimensions, and fall into your flat through the tear in the fabric of the space/time continuum, and continually torment you until they can find their way out, exist!” I reckon he was spot on with that comment! Hehehe!

I  worked on CorelDraw to do a couple of Thoughts graphics in advance. I got carried away and spent far too long at this. Partly due to the fact that I was enjoying doing it… but I suspect that my reluctance to get stuck into the task of sorting out the kitchen again, just might have played a part. Ahem! My EQ tells me I am in for Accifauxpa – but foolishly I ignored the warning, and paid for it later.

Went for a wee-wee, and it was a rather nasty LHBLWW (Long Hosepipe-Blasting like Wee-wee) one! If they are to start this mode again, and me not taking any Furesomide, and with the legs swelling still up this morning, I’m nervous about starting on the tablets again. But, common sense tells me I ought to (See how commonsensical I can occasionally be, Haha!)

So, I made a brew, got the brekkers porridge and took a Furesomide. Fingers crossed!

The internet stuttered and started and was very slow when it did work. It didn’t last too long, but it is still annoying.

7Sun07

I made up some more Thoughts graphics and odes and got carried away again.

Did the Health Checks and medications were taken.

The guilt of the kitchen-mess, (And fear of Sister Jane’s telling me off for not cleaning-up) forced me to rise and tackle it once again.

WD153.51.0 I managed to muster up the will-power and got into the kitchen. The task for today to sort out under the sink and the cupboard next to it with all the cleaning stuff in it.

I got down on my knees and began to remove the multitude of fresh air-sprays, fly-killer, washing-up liquids, disinfectants, polishes etc. out onto the floor to allow me to clean the inside shelves and so on.

Then I clouted my head on the edge of the framework as I dipped in once more to grab the stuff. I went down on my bum and hit the elbow against the floor as I landed. I lay there a few minutes, wondering if I should press the Alert Alarm Wristlet button.

This was not good! Tsk! I’m glad I didn’t push the alarm now, cause I was alright, apart from a cracking headache and temporary smidge of dizziness. It was only a scratch on the bonce.

2018-8-01cTo the wet room and put a bit of Germolene cream on the head. Took the photo on the left, which also shows how pale I went at the time. Talk about ghostly! Hehehe!

I then did the evening Health Checks very early, in case I forgot later. Taking an extra Codeine phosphate to counter the headache that was getting stronger, now.

2Tue24Got the nosh sorted. Lamb hotpot with a little extra minced lamb and gravy, a sourdough baguette to soak up the juices.

I didn’t really enjoy the food, but still ate it all up.

 I took the pots to the kitchen and put them in the sink to soak, along with the oven dish, saucepan and things from the cooking stage. One look the damned mess in the kitchen, which soured my enthusiasm and Guilt-Mode was adopted.

A wash and into the £300 second-hand ci 1968 rickety recliner I went. Put on the TV. Watched a complete film all the way through with only one five-minute nodding-off in the middle. The next two hours were shared with a wee-wee, TV, nodding-odd, a wee-wee, TV, nodding-off…

At the last waking up, I had the horrible idea that I had left the tap running in the sink! I just had to dismount the recliner, regain my balance and go to check things were okay in the bomb-site of a kitchen. They were. No taps left on, the oven was turned off, windows shut… but I still had this aggravating nagging doubt that something was not right. So, I nipped into the wet room. All okay in there too, no heater on, no faucets left on, the shower turned off. I returned to the recliner, no sooner had I sat down, I was up again, checking if I had left the door unlocked. I hadn’t.

Back into the recliner, had a drink of spring water and was off, at last, to sleep in minutes! Zzz!