INCHCOCK TODAY
Thursday 18th March 2021
Mayanmar (Burmese): ကြာသပတေးနေ့ 18 မတ်လ 2021
Health Checks
Escape From Lockdown
.
Out through the lobby, on the ground floor,
Decorations? it could do with some more,
It’s not exactly, haute couture,
Off I went, in search of a natter for sure,
I suppose I’ll spend a lot, and come back poorer?
Get some food, that’s epicure!
Visited the Warden Julie, then I caught the bus,
Gossip at the bus stop, that gave me a rush,
To town and into Wilko, the staff were peed-off and deamur.
Getting out was wearying, but grand!
But I forgot to buy a new toothbrush!
On to Poundland, a barren shelves, empty place,
I took my time searching, it was not a race,
Wandered around limping at a steady pace,
Many items I could not trace,
The basket filled up at a worrying pace!
I was glad to get out of the place!
.
I limped to the Bargain Buys store,
To buy even more,
Saw my first Escooters, Cor!
Later on I see many more, as many as a score!
I went in the shop, empty shelves were less,
But items were dearer in there, I must stress!
Lovely lady on the till; I paid my bill!
Out to Trinity Square,
Even less tellurians around there!
Starving pigeons, came down,
All I could do was apologise and frown,
Poor things, it isn’t fair!
Down Kings Walk, nobody there,
To chat with, on my way to the Slab Square,
And happened, I have to share…
My first Pavement Cyclist, of the day,
He came from behind me,
I shouted out; ‘Hey!’
He just went on his way,
His approach I did not see,
The Git!
On King Street, more Escooters I did see,
I5 mph they can do, so they say,
But they park them anywhere, in the way!
Faster than disabled scooters, how I pray…
The disabled don’t get in their way!
I saw them on pavements and carriageway,
Footpaths, even in a shop doorway,
Still it’s summat that adults and kids can play!
.
I hobbled, struggling with the overloaded trolley,
To Queen Street, having spent too much lolly,
getting everything on the bus, was a melee,
Cartilage Cathy, was getting painful, I must say!
.
I had to hold onto the trolly, every inch of the way,
Knowing Colin Cramps would later make me pay!
Later in the day,
I limped back to the block and flat, with bravery!
Cathy Cartilage and Colin Cramps bad, and feeling bladdery!
.
Sorted out the purchases from the painful shopping spree,
The Wilko bag first, toothpaste, cleaners for me,
Oh, and anti-diahorrea capsule I see,
I got one them straight away!
Then the fortune spent at the Poundland store,
I couldn’t have carried any more!
Medications, to make me feel less sore,
Gonna use the Chilli & Salt tonight for sure,
Baked beans as well, I saw!
Then the Bargain shop bag was sorted,
Nothing exciting to be reported,
As I did this, Cathy Cartilage became detorted,
And twinges from Colin Cramps contorted!
The baked beans and chilli seasoning went down very well.
The innards rumbled, oh, hell!
Trotsky Terence might be building as well?
Washed stripped, and as to can tell,
Into the recliner, I fell,
One fat leg, one thin, one hard the other soft and weak,
Colin Cramps kicked off, Phorpained, enough for a week!
Repeated this several times, I felt overmeek,
Colin continued his hassle,
The chances of sleep, were rather bleak,
To our saviour, I did speak,
His reply to me, was all Greek,
Colin Cramps continued, painfully he did wreak,
For painlessness I did beseech, and seek,
When I moved, the cartilage did squeak,
I was aching tired and weak,
Yet contented, so to speak!
I passed involuntary wind, and had a keek!
01:20hrs: Blimus! I stirred back into imitation misery and life, and I realised I’d just had over five-hours in the nurturing arms of Sweet Morpheus! Gadzooks! Plus, I had a short nodding-off yesterday afternoon. Involuntarily, though! The need for a wee-wee developed, so I was out of the recliner and standing with my balance caught in no time?
I wandered over to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). And worra shock, it was a wee-wee of the LPP (Long-Powerful-Persistent) type, and with no PM (Pre-Micturitional) or CM (Cessational Micturitional) dribbling. 
Then I got the summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrive, so off I limped to the wet room. A pungent, Trotsky Terence dominated evacuation that needed a lot of cleaning up afterwards again. Of me and the Porcelain! 
As you can see by the time on the travel clock om the cistern top, I’d only been up for about ten minutes, three wee-wees already. 
To the front room, and I got on with the sphygmomanometerisationing, with the Boot’s BP machine. SYS 148. DIA 81 and PULSE showing as 83bpm. Which is better than many days have been the March up to now. Not too bad at all!
The dependable, trustworthy, Chinese manufactured contactless thermometer preferred a reading of 36.9°c – 96.9°f. Perhaps a smidge high, but maybe not. I asked Mr Google and got this answer: 
I updated the Excel NHS record log with the details. Looking much improved on a week ago. This is the third day that I’ve got access to Excel, and there was no Updating unavailable message coming on the screen. 
You certainly have to admire his skill in running the crap internet service and spending a fortune on advertising lies about it being reliable, don’t you? Fair enough, he perhaps has no idea what he’s doing. But being educated in a Wesleyan Business School and now paid a $19m salary, plus expenses and compensation totalling: Fries’ cash compensation of $8.5 million, was not the 
highest on the list. Fries’ stocks and options awards — valued at $79.2 million in stock and $24.2 million in options — helped lift Fries to the top salary-wise. Fries also received a $5 million sign-on bonus… 
Gulped down the tea, and off to the wet room. A decent session to start with, the usual dropsies, of course. Only two nicks. tiny ones, shaving, and the ankle and feet were looking fine as I got ready to go in the shower. The long toenails were a bit bothersome.
that I dropped the bottle in lost it all down the drain when it shattered! Heh
Got the kettle on, and back to the computer and rebooted it.
The landline rang. It was Sister Jane, telling me she hadn’t received the Inchcock Today diary link? I was sure I’d sent it – I mean; as if a man of my calibre and dedication would forget to! Huh! Ahem! I thanke
d her for worrying and I checked the Emails… 
£2.500m in a few years of paying back for Brexit? Hehe!
I made a mug of Thompsons Punjana and took the evening medications. 
Had a look at the tracker on Amazon. New ETA on it now.
023:30hrs: I woke with a dang urgent need of a wee-wee! Argh! Panic ensued as I forced my grossly overweight bellied-body from the recliner, with visions and a sensation of the surging PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribbling), building-up, getting stronger. Caught my balance and hobbled swiftly over to unused overnight NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket).
I took the medications for the evening that I’d missed taken. Humph! Then I got the Health Checks done. 
The BP readings from the Sphygmomanometer showed much better results today.
Microsoft Office allowed me access to Excel (that’s three days now that it’s worked, they are getting better – or are they planning for a more extensive freeze or calamity later?), and updated the log for the Cardiac Unit and DVT Warfarin Clinic. I’ve not been there for two years now, but they did say they will reschedule the cancelled appointment sometime in the future.
Maybe today I can learn enough to use this Kodak camera properly? Or not!
I stopped, having remembered (Having remembered? – I don’t say that very often! Haha!), to take the morning medications. 
utilised, and this took me ages! The bowl was then cleaned and sanitised, and I start to get the nasal clearing done. Put the ear drops in. Then started cleaning the teeth… 
Gmail to see what subs or not available were coming today on the Sainsbury order. Well, that is fortunate, no sourdough bread, but they had none last week either. And, no french cream horns, well, that’s assuaged my guilt at ordering them in the first place. Thank Lord Sainsbury! 
I admitted him and was soon up at the door handing me the bags, which I put in the hallway. 
I took the bags through to the kitchenette. I knew that I hadn’t ordered any kitchen towels, bleach etc., but there seemed many bags there? 
How, or why had I ordered two packs of the misshaped cooked ham? How or why had I got a dirty-great container of orange juice? 
The lean diced beef I knew was for making the chilli later on. The cucumber for making pickled cucumber arrived. I put the overordering down to Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters letting down so often.
As I was putting the things into the kitchen to sort them out. Struggling to find room moire than ever in the fridge and freezer, the intercom rang out.
I’d bought a lot of fresh foods. Tomatoes x2, leeks, Limoncello (for Josie), lemon desserts, Coz’s apples (they were dry, bruised and not very good tasting). Bread thins, garden peas shelled, beef chunks, crispy smoked bacon, more cooked meats (Tsk!), milk roll loaf etc.
Somehow or other, I got the stuff put away, and then thoughts of food, eating, my leaning towards eating, nouvelle cuisine, and epicureanism abounded in my mind… What to have for my nosh! I was certainly spoilt for choice! After only a few seconds (fast for me!), I’d opted to get the beef chunks in the crockpot, add oodles of chopped leeks, and the garden peas to be added later.
I got the beef and leeks in and added some seasonings: Sea salt, black pepper, Oxo and Best Bisto gravy granules, burnt chilli powder, basil, and a drop of balsamic vinegar that had been delivered. I forgot all about the tomato passata, though, Humph!
I spent a good while making up some waste bags and sorting them into the box on the walker-trolley in the hall.
As I titivated the crockpot contents and had a little nibble to test things, the landline burst forth. It was Jenny, updating me on the situation with the lack of ILC’s. Holiday (vacationing) time. Well, they deserve them, having to put up with us old antediluvian fogies! Hahaha! Jenny and I had a little natter, which is always welcome. ♥
23:05hrs: I woke-up, requiring a wee-wee. Thus, I fought my sadly overly-stomached, jelly-like bellied body out of the recliner, wobbled onto my painful feet (*with the painful over-long, toe-nails), and caught my balance and grabbed Metal Mickey.
I limped to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket), expected a liquid surge to blast out, but only got a WUNT (Weak-Unwilling-Negligible-Trickling) outpouring. 
Made the brew, had another wee-wee (Tsk!) and got the Health Checks sorted out. 
I went on the NHS site and but the program’s BP results and got this resulting graphic. Which I copied and pasted. The BP was rated as a little better than yesterdays. 
I’d come right down from Level Six yesterday, Very Dehydrated; To level four – just dehydrated! So that was hopeful!
This, of course, did not clear on the first flush. Not even the second and third either.’
As I was putting the lid back on and replacing the removed items, a sudden pain underfoot arrived? 
I’d trodden on the pen! Smashed it, naturally! 
Sure, there were a good few dropsies, but nothing harmful, dangerous, overly painful, or even irking! It was as if an angel had got my back! It went 
so smoothly, I started to feel worried at the sheer unnaturalness of it. The drying-off was easy-peasy, no falls, no bangs! Even the medicationalisation was done without hassle or Accifauxpas! 
disappointed sigh from Sock-Glide-Glenda?. 
I got the handwashing rinsed and fabric-softened, wrung, hung and all done, hung them on coat hangers above the sink. 
Then, I bravely went down in the lift, on my way to visit the ICL, wardens interrogation room to advise them of the arrival of the Easter Eggs coming tomorrow. Well, that’s if Iceland and Sainsbury’s don’t substitute anything like pickled walnuts or toothpaste for them! Hahaha! But my main aim was to get some photographs of the Winwood Heights complex and get a natter in with somebody. 
Then I went into mind-changing, Dithering mode again! I redecided over the meal. The peas, tomatoes and cooked meat, potato salad, roast onions, Marmite cheese, caramelised red onion chutney, wholemeal bread thins, chestnuts, and a custard & jelly dessert instead. 
00:25hrs: I woke, worrying, fretting and almost panicking about life’s lousy leanings… But not for too long, a wee-wee was required, and the PMD (Pre Micturition Dribbling) could be sensed arriving. 
Of course, I’m not jealous or anything like that! But I do wish he could get his bloody internet to work correctly!
I got around to doing the Health Checks at long last.
I managed to beat Microsoft again and gained access to my Excel HC listings to update them. 
I put the BP figures into the NHS site and got this reading on the right back.
I got a decent bit of handwashing done, rinsed, wrung and hung above the kitchen sink. Mostly thick clothing, so it’ll take a few days to dry-off properly.
happenings.
The session went well, other than the dropsies were more than ever before, not Nicodemus to blame this time, but the violent SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley). Although she calmed down later, nicely. 
I got the waste bags sorted out and filled, well, overfilled the box on the walker-guide. 
I made a few Dagwood style sarnies, with milk roll bread, beef and tomatoes: some potato salad, cheesy mash, garden peas, and a few vinegar-flavoured chip-sticks. 
I took the morning medications, then got the Health Checks done. 
The Boot’s sphygmomanometer readings were decent, methinks. SYS 150, DIA 71, and the Pulse was at 84 bpm. 
Microsoft Office allowed me access to Excel to update the Health Checks listing figures. 
I actually made some more fodder! (I found this photo on the SD card). But can I remember making or eating it? No!
Along with this photo, taken through the balcony dividing glass? 
I got the contactless thermometer out and was also satisfied with the resulting figure that it produced. 36.6°c – 97.88°f.
Made some comments on WordPress. I visited the WP Reader section, then the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived. Off to the wet-room, I hobbled. (Not so bad actually, Cartilage Cathy is still pleased with me and being gentle too!) 
The Iceland Foods delivery is due twixt 06:00 > 08:00hrs, but I’d got the ablutions sorted early enough to do the hand-washing in the kitchen sink sorted. All done, wrung, and hung above the sink on hangers. The Lily and Yang Yang scent in the Surf soap powder has a delightful smell
I took a Canan camera photo of the morning view as I put the kettle on and made a mug of Glengettie brew.
next 24-hours.
I did some updating on this post and then made another brew, Thompsons Punjana, this time. No time to drink it, the intercom rangeth and flashed, it was the Iceland Food delivery arriving, I pre
The Iceland man dropped the begs… begs? Yet another cock-up wiv me grammar, Tsk!), bags I meant, through the doorway for me. Slipped him a choice of cans of plonk, and off he trotted on his mission to feed the nation!
I took the carriers through to the kitchen and went on the internet to see if anything was short delivered or substituted.
into a Smug-Mode for the time being.
Next, I put away the fridge items, far better foodstuffs. Topside beef slices, pork & Pickle mini pork pies, sweet chilli chicken, chicken thighs, potato salad, egg-mayonnaise, and some strawberry and whipp
The YourArea magazine arrived, so I investigated. The lottery winner had been sentenced for his appallingly dangerous driving in which he killed a 75-year-old lady in the car he’d drifted across the road, and his BMW then crashed head-on into an oncoming Ford Fiesta.
Just asking! I bet he the had best expensive lawyers! 
I had a surreal few hours then.
23:40hrs: I stirred, after a decent five-hours of undisturbed sleep, in need of an urgent wee-wee. I disentangled my elephantine over-wobbly-bellied body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety recliner, and stood up to catch my balance… 
not allow me access to the programme. Cracklepackers!
I got dirted again when I put the kettle on and did some handwashing. Some cotton long and short socks and the made in Myanmar (Burmese), too small to fit me, grey zip-up jacket. Done, wrung, and hung to dry above the kitchen sink.
As I got stripped, I could see that the ankle looked much betterer than earlier? Then realised I was using the Kodak camera; that’s why things looked brighter. I put the Kodak camera away and used the Canon for a while after this. 
because of this good luck, I didn’t put any socks on. (I had too later; when it got so much colder!) 
I moved the earlier hand-washed grey jumper onto the serving tray and placed it near the kitchen wall heater. I must keep checking it for safety. As it is not really dry enough yet.
recycling one and got them in the walker-guide box. 
Well, what a shock on the local weather forecast? 
I collected them and did a visual inspection. At least when the next month’s prescriptions arrive, I can sort them out using these new pods, hopefully easier than last month with all the mixed empty mishmash of pods to get confused with. Well, that’s the plan anyway. 
Totally drained now, mentally for some unknown reason. I got the nosh prepared. I ate it all. (By gum, I’m eating well recently, too well?) 
channel 11. Not a chance! I was in the land of nod before the programme even started! Waking up to the tune of the end credits playing. I considered getting up to wash the pots and dishes, but I was soon back with Sweet Morpheus. 
23:20hrs: I woke with a bit of start, and as I began to free my overly-stomached torso from the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner, a few thought came at the same time to me. 
As I got up on my feet to catch my balance, Cartilage Cathy gave a nervous-making wobble and had me holding onto the chair, then a realisation dawned… “There were no gurgling and rumblings from the innards” Amazing! It seems that the Numark Instant Diarrhorea tablets from Amazon that I took last night had worked miracles… I had to curb my enthusiasm, though. With my luck, you never know what disaster, embarrassment, Accifauxpa or Whoopsiedangleplop lay ahead! However, I could not resist going into a Semi-Smug-Mode, all the same. I awaited the arrival of the Throne visit with a certain trepidation.
I make a brew of Thomsons Punjana tea. Neuropathy Pete was giving the right side of me a decent shaking every time I walked or stood up. SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley joined in occasionally.
I updated the BP log in Excel. Yes, Microsoft, let me gain access to the programme again today! They seem to be improving – no, I shouldn’t have said that, knowing how often the damned thing goes down! A bit of pushing my luck there. When will I ever learn? Hahaha! I took the morning medications.
and late deliveries of the tablets. Which needed uploading and sorting before going in the post. I did get it finished in the end, and I Pinterested some snaps. Then had a look at the Emails as I sent the link off. 
I hobbled into the kitchen and got some leeks prepped; it took me a while. Really mud-covered inside the leaves today. Sliced them and put them in the crock-pot, seasoned with a couple of vegetarian Oxo cubes added as a flavouring. I’ll put the heat on later, but meantime, they can be marinating. Nothing, like a good marinationing! Hahaha! Had a wee-wee.
I made a brew of Glengettie tea, and then I got on with starting this blog going. It was a slow job, not through any ailments particularly, just a sudden loss of concentration for some unknown reason. After a few hours, 
ETA for the delivery. Well, they don’t like it when I opt for no substitutes, do they! The bread is going to be short dated now! They always win in the end. Swine! And they have cream doughnuts either!
I had a look at today Amazon tracker for the pill pods. Oh, dearie, me! This one is going to be arriving so late in the day again.
I’d not long been out, sorting out the black bags and getting them into the box on the walker. But I dare not go out to take them to waste chute and risk missing any of the deliveries that are due today. 
: However, I did find out how to turn on the Micro-mode on the Kodak camera. Yahoo! I decided my first effort in Macro mode photography would be the packet of Fresh Cream French Horns! Unfortunately, it took me eight attempts to get this one taken; all the others were over-smudged? 
Working on the diary, and I heard the voice of Desk-Top Dancer, ILC, Warden Deana, as she came into the flat. Lovely to see her again. She’s come to do a wristlet alarm check. But we lost contact with Nottingham City Homes (Monitoring) Control room. She tried again, and someone spoke with Deana, I couldn’t decipher or hear properly what was said, but they were having problems, I think. Said she’d have to try again later. I told Deana I’d make an alarm call later on. We chatted for a few minutes, and I had a laugh. Mostly me, moaning about the Astra-Seneka after-effects and not being able to contact the Doctor about it. She had to shoot off on her rounds, which left me somewhat down in spirits. Poor old twit!
I had a minute or so natter with Robert. And got back inside when he went into the lobby. 
I got the nosh sorted out, making sure that the strawberry jam & fresh cream French Horns were not missed off of the tray. Hehe! Of course, I only eat them because of medical conditions. Or should that be mental conditions? Ahem!
The short-dated milk roll bread from Sainsbury’s wasn’t eaten; it was too dry for my tastes. Serves me right for accepting it! But all else was! The tomatoes were a bit bland. The Chilli-chicken was okay. The peas and leeks went down well! The Iceland canned potatoes were a good advert for cardboard-flavoured foods! Taste-Rating: 6/10. 
The metabolism was satisfied with this meal, though. I got the things washed-up and settled down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner, to watch some TV, somewhat later than usual with having to stay up for the delivery. But Sweet Morpheus was welcoming for once. I drifted off for five uninterrupted, dream-free hours of bliss! Bodacious!
I woke tired from the guilty nightmares I’d been having… but not for long; the gurgling movement from the innards and tiny but lethal escapages of gas from the rear-end put an end to any self-pitying. 
Trotsky Terence was still in charge. (I’m expecting some medications to arrive today via Amazon, on the tracker, they haven’t been dispatched yet, oh, I hope they hurry, Hahaha!) You watch; by the time I get them delivered, Constipation Konrad will have regained control. Hehehe!
I made a brew of my beloved Glengettie tea that now, ten-days after having the AstraZeneca vaccination, I am beginning to taste again! 
updated the Health Checks listings while I could, but stopped… ‘You are a fool! I said to myself, best to get the Health Checks done for today first. Humph! So, I did. 
The tea went cold, so I went to make another one, but it didn’t happen. 
the kitchen window and the still damp ones on the server-trolley in front of the wall heater. 
Nottingham City Council has voted to bring in total a council tax increase of 4.99% from April. The increase, made up of a 1.99% rise in direct council tax and 3% in the adult social care precept, has been voted through at a full council meeting as part of a cost-saving budget that will see some £15.6 million of savings next year. The council has highlighted an additional £36 million in cost pressures to be borne over the next financial year, following a drastic reduction in the amount of money allocated to it in central government revenue support grants (RSGs). A shame, all part of the Covid Claw-back! Utility price rises, buses taken off that served the flats, Bank decreasing interest rates. It doesn’t stop there; Rents have gone up, water rates, Council tax, and more! Sob!
Residents are being warned about phone call scams, including people pretending to be police officers after two elderly victims lost more than £15,000. Nottinghamshire Police say the scammers are using sophisticated “spoofed” telephone numbers, which appear to be the police, helping to gain contact with their victims. As part of the scams, a Hucknall man in his 80s handed more than £11,300 to the fraudsters, while another report from Newark saw an 
services, is warning “urgent action” is needed. Well, as if I didn’t know! I wish they’d tell the uncontactable Doctor at the Sherringham Park Medical Practice! Still, if I feel brave enough, I can ring 111 and ask for advice… maybe, possibly… perhaps?
mini Swiss rolls. 
I got the handwashing done, deodorised, wrung and hung above the sink! 
me being a man with an excellent memory like what I have. Ahem!
Then, the door chimes rang forth with Dusty Springfield’s tune. It was the Community Nurse, Matron Jackie. 
My attention turned to the Nosh. Pork Knuckle, garden peas, a few sugar snap peas, tomatoes, potato fries, a Marmite chunk. With some milk roll bread – sounds good to me! So, I made it up, plated it, and on the tray. I made some mini-Dagwood sarnies with the milk roll bread as I tucked into it. Fantastic meal! (Of course, I was in a super-good mood, having just been spoilt by the nurse’s visit) Flavour rating: 8.5/10! 