Inchcock’s Local News Snippets – With Odeing

Crime in Nottingham, enough to send you demented…
Oh, Dementia Doreen already has my mind fragmented,
Price rises on everything; I’m genuinely wherrited!
Compassion, empathy and caring have been disrupted…
No, better words are demolished and corrupted!

Police Assault Increase

Different targets, to beat-up… it’s the truth…
This will please the thirteen-year-old youths,
Who attacked and knocked out a coppers’ tooth!
Or the twelve-year-old, driving a car into a flatfoot…
A sixteen-year-old stabbed and kicked an officer, to boot!

From giving adequate sentencing, the law is abstaining…
A murderer arrested gave the officer a bludgeoning…
However, the criminal is not complaining…
He got his early release after campaigning…
Our legal system needs condemning!

Another murder?
This doesn’t inspire…
Things are getting direr…
Death by ed by fire?
Killed by a burglar?
Mayhaps a genocider?
Emotions and fear, a quagmire!
Crime, accident? I’ll hangfire


A requirement to do two thirds?
Gawd, our judges, are soft turds!


Top report on Covid, +22,8% new cases over the last fortnight,
Another peak will put us all in a plight…
Bottom report 40% increase… we are in the kite?
Anti-maskers again ready to fight!.

More policemen injured working,
Courts still spanking wrists, befuddling!
Got bail, free, to attack again – backpedalling?
For the police, this must be very galling!

Words fail me!

Violence is rampant now…
Take that, thump, kick kapow!
Instead of having a pow-wow,
From Newcastle to Hounslow…
Guns, knives, and fist blow…
Last week, burglars used a bow & arrow!

Was this caused by sleeping with the wrong fellow?
Or did too much-shoplifted alcohol freely flow?
Did someone not return a borrowed wheelbarrow?
A dispute over unshared winnings at Bingo?
Did one think it right to whistleblow?
Did one pass on a disease, like, impetigo?
Mayhaps one stood on the others’ hammertoe?
But I really don’t want to know…
Far too much violence and aggro!


6 thoughts on “Inchcock’s Local News Snippets – With Odeing

  1. Crime is endemic to an extent that it dwarves Covid in every way. A virus in the form of coddled crime figures, a knife or an 18-inch machete (holy crap), used in the nastiest, low, demented ways. The police are outnumbered at every corner and on every day. Variety in this case is not the spice of life, ’tis the poison. Everybody wants to be a Putin. This Wednesday, the president of Ukraine, Vladimor Zelensky speaks to Congress. Now that guy is truly amazing among leaders of any era, somehow I seem to like people who have a Z to lead their surname. Looking forward to his address.
    The bestest to you from us in the US.

    • Enjoyed that, mate.
      Excellent revue of the criminalisationing of modern-life, Billum! Wellst worded!
      There ill be a reason for your fondness of Zer named folk, as soon as I work it out, I’ll let you know Mr Ziegler. (Hehe!)
      Mr Zelensky, is handling things magnificently, politically.
      Thanks fer the wishes of goodness, cheerseth all! 💚

      • Criminalisationeering strikes from all sides, an uncomfortable state of being if you will.
        Zorro is another. Z is worth 10 points in Scrabble. Please let me know if you detect a reasonation behind my fondness for an initial letter that occurs at the end of an alphabet. We could all use Mr. Zelensky as our head of state. How to do it, there be the rub.
        More cheers at yer, Sir!

      • Oh, yes, I’ve worked it out, Billum, your fondness for the Zerers. It’s a naturaly zymotically affected fondness. A man with your bizazz, could do no other, thatn attach yourself, to this phenomenon. Being a Mr Ziegler, may have had some affect on the issue, of course. Brings to mind the early Z-cars series on TV.
        I’ll have to work on how to get Mr Z in the Whitehouse.
        We need more Zificationing!

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