Local News Snippets – Issue 82⅜ths
No murders today, as far as I can gather…
But don’t panic, worry or get yourself into a lather!
Although murderless days are somewhat rarer…
It’s not the end of the killing, murdering era!
Although this Thursday seems a little drearier…
When the murdering stops and they malinger…
Who will the police arrest? At least point the finger!
They’ll mayhaps chase speeding motorists, use a stinger?
I sense the actions of a serial killer; that’ll be a humdinger!
Here we go…
Poor student, out for a laugh, whisky and ginger?
Two blokes start to fight, but not like a Ninja…
Man ducks the punch; it hit the girl, whose hair is ginger…
Cause he meant to better her, nor injure…
He wanted to hit the bloke, whomsoever…
I hope he gets imprisoned, then he can blubber!
The Covid figures might be unsound, but reported as better,
The hospital tells us they’ve more Covid patients than ever?
Fiddling numbers, like the banks that our money launders?
The government lying to us; someone must be honest, whoever?
Drink or drugs involved, sex, or whatever?
I’ve done with all that stuff; now I’m a dodderer…
Not that I overdid sex, and the missus just didn’t bother!
I thought it was her age she’d sooner have a good blather?
But she told me before she left me, it was Inchy being miniature!
A tea-time attack, close to home, that a bugger!
Can’t seem to stop kids fighting or even a mugger!
Could they lock them off to the Riviera?
Make ’em pay for it while catching barracuda?
Or let the git’s freeze, send them up the Sierra?
Feeding the birds is something all we oldies did…
In the fifties… no one said no, or gave us a whid?
Everyone threw bread to the birds when I was a kid!
Now, this lady faces a fine of £250 quid!
To the City Council Hitlers, most of them hominid…
It’s all about money; the council is so turgid…
Birds eat all dropped food; it’s soon chugalugged!
Fining this woman is cruel and turpid!
Despite Governments imposed police restrictions,
The Home Office’s safe money, iterations…
Despite Priti Patel’s pathetic condensations…
They caught the culprit – Oh, jubilations!
Proving the officers have sufficient gumption…
The man’s lawyer will no doubt offer much vociferation…
Pleading for the animal, begging with gesticulation…
Winking at the judge in veneration…
He’ll lose the case and look suitably crestfallen…
If the driver gets sent down for years, I’ll not be crestfallen!
Fifteen years in jail for the worthless shit!
I hope he’s got at and serves every little bit,
He deserves to have some pain and hardship…He’s ruined thee girls’ lives; he should be regularly walloped!
A few good beatings from inmates would be fair and apt!
Vicious scumbags! In a few years, they’ll be out and free!
Get their rent paid and likely gratis food & electricity,
They’ll have learnt more crimes to do; this wrangles me!
They’ll have watched court cases for free on the prison TV…
If they get cataracts, they’ll get medicated before me!
I hereby Hex them! A painful death will do, you see…
A slow one, crack-heads, bullies like them: I make no apology!
A little victory.
These animals wander around town every day!
What can the future hold for honest people who only want to work and earn enough to support their families? It’s a bleak outlook!
Are they bothered? Over the last seven days, I’ve uncovered two of them. Ha! My luck with the Daily find-three-houses free competition on the YourArea Emagazine continues.