Day: 21 March 2023

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More out of it than with it today,
Ideas and plans just fall away daily,
Logic, eye-sight, and hearing fade away.
Dementia Doreen, the brains stowaway…
Is with me every second of every day!
Even when I have a brain scan or x-ray…
Even my hopes are in disarray…
Several times today… and this sounds eerie…
I’ve not been me, but looking at me!
Occasionally this happens, & seems like cajolery,
This scenario holds traces of insanity?
I question my own humanity…
Struggling with the catheter and my cecity,
Losing track, thoughts and memory…
Now the mind-medics say ‘encephalopathy’,
I’ll look that up when this blog has gone away,
Is that owt to do with my Peripheral Neuropathy?
Encephalopathy? It doesn’t mean a thing to me!
Hehehe!

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Sorry, got a lot on today – up to the neck in it,
without the ability to get the jobs done.
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First Wee-Colour Check.

2nd check. Not sure how I got the colour to look silver? Hehe!

The ankles were looking a lot betterer!

The urine colour also looks betterer!

Georges (Asda) delivered the dressing gowns.

The darned valve leaked again on the

Care Kara called, as did Carers… erm… Sam? and… Kara, Jo… maybe Josef… I’m guessing here… What a mess I’m in.

No idea now what happened for many hours. After Asda on the notepad, something about massage evacuation? A tumble? Lost memory, Mind blanks, and Bladder  problems, leaking?
Not with it at all, here, mates.

Found the George throw on the Carers chair.

Late evening nosh.
Veg; potatoes, vegan cheese and butter,
Did some baked spuds to add.
Think I enjoyed it.

Maybe got my head down earlier than usual.

Woke up in as said above ‘Agony!’ with leg cramps! Trenches and dips in both legs, the right one far worse.
After ten-minutes or so they died down, and I realised that the pouch needed emptying…
Oh, Dearie me!  I lost balance bending down to take the wire off of the valve – the wee splashed over the bucket… mostly on me!
Struggled to the recliner to get back upright, and first thing was to get to the wet room, to strip off and wash myself. During which, I dropped the bottle of disinfectant, and it landed…
On , on the exact spot where the nail had dug itself in! No doubt about it – I was pissed off…
I knocked a selection of the medications off of the floor cabinet… the last olive oil bottle shattered as it hit the floor! At least it missed my feet and toes! I suppose!
Back into the main room, and got disinfecting the carpet, threw my cloths in the laundry bag. I continued cursing as I got back down into the c1966, £300 pound, second-hand charity-shop bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner. But could I get back to sleep? No!

I lay there full of self pity. A pathetic site, it must have been.
I’ve not felt this low for… well, ever before.

TTFN