Inchcock: Friday 18th November 2022

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

CONFUSED!

07:15hrs: The semi-reactivation of the brain began. reigned. I lay there uncomfortably in the aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner… The raging, interfering with my trying to work out if it was night or day, the watch told me only the time, which could have been night or day, of course. And what day was it?
I assumed it was evening, and I’d nodded off; because the TV was on. As I fought off the to get some clarity…

sounded, and in walked , a smile on her face… Why I’m not sure, but I was now convinced it was night.
She got the medications given to me, and we had a little chat. She asked me if I’d met the new Carer. When I said, “Yes, Ty… he came this morning…” Jodie pointed out that this was the morning, and he had come last night! My bamboozlement only got worse. I should have realised by the different medications she’d given me, but I honestly can’t remember taking them now.
As we chatted, I worked out that it was well into the morning when I got to sleep, and that’s the reason I was still in a head-down mode when Jodie arrived.
I told her of the new flavour available in the thank-you-treats. The red cans I put in yesterday’s blog. Selected a cold nibble from the fridge – I’m struggling now to recall everything spoken of. I think I asked Jodie to check the taps for me when she calls, to make suite I’d not left them running, and turn them off if I had?
I did apologise for there being two big bags of waste to go to the chute, explaining that I forgot to ask Carer Ty to take them. I think we parted laughingly. Oh, and I’d unlocked the door for her to get in, either… well, I was asleep still. Haha!

Making a brew of Glengettie, I realised that I had not had, and did not feel the need, for a wee-wee. Very rare, that!

As I got the computer on, the nyaff, noisy nasty nitwit in the flat above started his tapping and banging – for hours on end! Swine!
Not that it bothered me. of course.

After a couple of hours of updating the Thursday blog, Got it now; it’s definitely a Friday today [Jodie told me]). I noted the beautiful hue of the morning, and also, it was not raining!
I took this picture from the kitchenette window.
A dramatic shade, don’t you think?
Then it came to me that in my morning confusion, I had not checked the calendar. So, I did! Just a note to remind me to make an Asda order for next Monday. So, I did! ETA 16:00 > 17:00hrs. So, Carer Richard’s treats in thanks he can have Tuesday this week.

I eventually got the updating done hours later and posted it to WordPress. Then did some Pinteresting. Then I started this template an hour. Herbert was giving it some hammer again but stopped after an hour or so… I’m anticipating that he will be kicking off again soon. (He did later!)

I don’t like this lack of sleep when it makes me get up late; it throws everything in the mind into disorder. Heavens above, it’s 13:30hrs already!

Plodded on with the blogging (And still no wee-wee taken???) for an hour or so. but got weary again and turned off everything, and got a meal done

I couldn’t eat half of this plateful. I’d made too much. I was soon fighting to stay awake.

I put the tray down, and .

Broke my moments of bliss… I awoke in utter confusion. I was certain that it was morning, and my first thought was, did I lock the door last night?  I rose and caught my balance. I did hear Bang-about Herbert start his knocking and tap-tapping again as began to walk to the door to check if the Carer was locked out or not. From somewhere in my head, something told me this just can’t be… a doubt, nagging at me…

appeared just as I was doubting my earlier assessment of the day and time. He clarified it was Friday evening. Not Saturday morning for me. et doubts still lingered. This was, and is, a worrying concern for me!

Jozeph was understanding of my haziness. Sorted the medications and listened to them while I explained what the effects that can and are doing to my sanity. Not moaning; I was just explaining. But not fully understanding my present plight myself.
I insisted on his selecting a can of his choice and some nibbles for my keeping him from his own bed. As I said, he was patient & understanding toward me. This in itself cheered me a little, knowing that someone cared enough to listen. And the lad must have been tired out himself at the end of his shift. He’s in the mould of Carer Richard.

As I hobbled with him to the door to lock it after him, I spotted the bag of rat food I’d bought from Wilko, in mistake for bird food, and mentioned this whoopsiedangleplop to Jozeph. Turns out that he has a pet rat at home. I gave him the bag of food to use, I felt better after doing so, and it cheered up one tired Carer. Me, and hopefully, it will satisfy the taste buds of one pet rat. Haha! Should I remember, I’ll ask him the name of his rat on his next call.

After writing this, I had to check that I did lock the door… thus the kicked in. I checked the taps in the wet room and kitchen. Stove, fridge & freezer doors, and even checked the door another time!

What a nitwit!

I espied the last of the sunset when I checked the kitchenette out for any disasters.
I got the Lumix camera and, on the SCN setting, chose the Night View option.
Not too bad, I suppose. Trouble is nowadays with the three optical ailments, , the dreaded and also , I can never be certain if photos, graphics and things are right or not, good or bad, pathetic, or a shambles!

Hello… I sense a warm wetness in the front of my diapers… I mean protection pants! Hehehe!
acci-whoop I went to the wet room to investigate. At first, I thought it was going to be poor Little Inchies , and fear of applying the stinging, painful Daktacort ointment sank my spirits. This is one medication that is always an agony to use!

But No! for it being just the lasered bladder that had passed a little … but without informing me that I needed a wee-wee! It does that sometimes, since the cancer-lasering. It got more frequent after the stroke. I only get embarrassed, not angry, about this ailment; after all, Bladder Belinda has lostrd of her storage capacity. At least it wasn’t blooded this time. (As it would have been if the Fungal-lesion had burst again!) Had a clean-up, got a new pair of Depend protection pants on, jammies back on, and back to the computer; feeling pretty good, really. I wish now that I’d had a shave while in there.

Those American PPs contained most of the escaping wee-wee. There are so reliable! Oh, dear, should I have risked saying that? Haha!

I got carried away with creating the Ode. Made a mess of it, and my concentration shot again. Errors after mistakes and  Mind-Blanks!

It’s almost 01:00hrs already!

Cheers, all! Have a great day!

Inchcock Today: Saturday 1st October 2022

SATURDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I had not had any sleep to speak of; one horrendous night; With  Thought Storms, and each time I moved an iota, either the or else would wake me up, not that I did a lot of nodding off last night. At around 0600hrs, I was forced out of the discomfort of the £300, second-hand, musty, Haemorrhoid Harold Testing, cringingly beige, crumb-covered, not-working, rickety recliner.
Standing up, and getting to the Porcelain Throne, has never been more excruciating.

I got to the wet room and proceeded with the evacuation. Apart from a little bleeding, there was no struggle or pain involved. I decided, as I have done for several days now, that as I was already in there, I’d get the done. Which I did! I felt sure that I’d hear the door chime music if a Carer Came.
Started with the shaving. Determined not to get so many cuts this time, I went steady with the razors… but that was not working, not around the neck, anyway.
It’s not fair that the hair does no longer grow on the head but is growing enthusiastically on the neck and shoulder tops. I’ve just got to apply more pressure to get the soft twine-like razor-blocking type. I acquired about eight cuts, all on the neck, so I couldn’t see them. Looking in a mirror at one neck hole is impossible with and   jerking you about.

Got around to the medicationalisationings.
Harold’s Haemorrhoids first. Always the easiest one to tackle.
Med HydrThen the worst one, pain-wise, Little Inchies Fungal Lesion. A few, well, many Oohs and Arghs were released while doing this task.
I believe a couple of words describing my hatred of the lesion sneaked out, too!

The farce of trying to put the eye drops in the eye seemed more ridiculous than usual today. I used about a third of the new bottle, and of that, I doubt if much of it actually got into the cataracted eye. The nose, cheek, chin and chest… Yes! No problem with the nose spray. Germolenes the creases in the belly and put some on the neck cuts that were resisting the Brut and were still bleeding. I rubbed some into the hands as well. But there was no way I could get close enough to do the toes! Humph!
I’d have done the toes as well with the Phorpain. But the problem’s the same, isn’t it? I can’t get to them. I think I’ll ask one of the Carers to rub them both in if they would for me.

I was getting the fresh PPs out and realised I had left the trousers in the front room. So I popped in to retrieve them from the computer room;
The evening Care had let herself in and was at the Carers Desk when I limped into the room – naked, I thought at the time! Oh, what a mistake to maker! I hid behind the back of the recliner. Thank heavens that I noticed I actually had put the PPs on! Phew!
The was Sam. It all happened so long ago, it 18:00hrs, and as I say, the fatigued is coming on, so with that, the memory and concentration fade. So things may be short on detail from here on, as I have only my poorly scribbled notes to go by.

I missed putting this photograph of the morning view I took earlier.
Another not-too-great shot. I’m becoming quite skilled at taking these. And also the shaky-+looking pictures. Not to mention the mystery photos that came from I know not where. Oh, I mentioned them!
Noisy-Neighbour Herbert, in the flat above, has been knocking and tapping away on and off for hours now. And this continued until 17:00hrs When I got a blessed relief from them. Must have been having his dinner. I am afraid I am getting pissed off with Mr Untouchable, and for an hour or two, maybe four, each time he kicked off, I hit the ceiling with Metal-Micky. Who has not left my side and has been used so many times? I hope he complains… mind you knowing that ignorant superior, loved by the Nottingham City Homes Management, it’ll be in the wrong, and I’ll get myself thrown out of the flat.

Blogging on and off all day, and as the day progresses, so do my mistakes, errors, Whooposiedangleplops and concentration.

I spotted a bag of prescriptions on the Carers table that will be left for Richard to sort out on Monday.

I keep meaning to ask Richard if Meridian might ask for some Anusol to be put on my monthly prescriptions. Having to pay over £7 for a tiny tube is prohibitive. I hope I remember to ask and that they do add it monthly.
I got the bowl with some Dettol and washing-up liquid in it and gave the feet a good soak.
The toes are just not easing up, pain-wise. Mind you, paying a woman £25 pounds to cut your toenails, and she cuts your toes as well, almost every time you go… Is not good! I shall ask whichever Carer comes tonight (Assuming one does come, of course) if they will rub some Germolene on the toes gently. And Phorpain Gel on the ankle and legs. Surely I must get some sleep tonight after last night’s sleepless nocturnal hours?

Just as I was correcting the multitudinous above passage, there really was a lot of them to do! Arrived and read the above passage after giving the medications. Although she was late, she still agreed to do my feet for me; bless her cotton Socks! She’d seen where the tubes were and got on with looking after me. She’d chatted while doing them and was deserving of some extra treats, which she selected. ♥

HempAh, the feet felt better now! I was not hungry at all? So no cooking; I could concentrate on sleeping. Got the TV on so I could fall asleep when the commercials came on. I took a Hemp capsule; hopefully, that should calm me down, ready for the much-mossed sleep ahead. I thought I had worked out well all that I could do to encourage Sweet Morpheus to visit me.
Got the computer off. Some nuts and bikkies on the Ottoman next to the chair, with a litre of blackcurrant and apple-flavoured spring water.

Now for the challenge! Can I get to sleep?
Will the Thought-Storms arrive?
Will the unneighbourly, superior-natured, snotty, unfriendly, superior-acting standoffish kick-off so late at night again? With his weekend concerts of banging, tap-tapping and thudding again? Or, mayhaps, either or will ruin things for me?
We Shall See. I’ll report back in the morning to finish this blog. Fingers crossed of course.

I’m back.
I weakened and made a meal of sorts after all. A roasted vegetable Risotto with BBQ sauce added a banana and a pot of lemon mousse. The mousse was not eaten. The fries were added, and I dined while watching the 1968, I think, cup final twixt Coventry City and Tottenham Hotspur. Flavour rating: 8.2/10.

I washed the pot, back into the recliner and soon fell asleep… Bliss!

Inchcock Today: Sunday 11th September 2022

SUNDAY’S POLITICAL CARTOON
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
SUNDAY’S ODE
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

07:10hrs: Yet another night of jumping awake and waiting to nod off again. So much so that on waking up proper, around 05:00hrs, I drifted off unintentionally until 07:10hrs. Sweet Morpheus was not kind to me last night at all.
I feared that the Carer might have called earlier, but he/she could not get in. Especially if it was an annoying one who refused to press the doorbell. I always hear that, and it never fails to wake me up if asleep, and it had not done that. I caught my balance and hobbled to unlock the front door. But it was not locked! So was pretty sure that they would have walked in anyway.
Being up late, I started to prep Josies veg for her chilli-con-carne meal. Got them on the boil and added them to the saucepan.
Got the sorted out. A nice looking set of returns this time. SIA dropped to 138. DIA down to 61, Pulse up but not a lot, to 78.
Put the figures into the CP analyser and got this returned. Great, I’m back just in the amber! In the High-Normal Zone.

My noisy Neighbour above, Herbert, sounded off, with a different style of sound today. A chug-chugging for a few minutes, then a loud thud. Then silence… Dang sang dang, Dang! Oh, I do hope he’s not hurt himself; you know, dropped a steam engine on his foot and is laying there in absolute agony as the hot steam burns its way through his clothing and into his lower regions. I considered going up to ask if he was alright, just for a laugh.

Off to make my first brew of Glengettie Welsh tea. And I thought (I do that occasionally), Blimey, it’s dark out there!

I temporarily lifted the glasses from my nose to reveal the right view, although blurred from the window – it was foggy, to say the least. The first photo was taken straight ahead.
The second one of straight down n from the window of the Chestnut Drive car park. A good job I was using the grab strap on my wrist. Cause I dropped the Lumix, but it didn’t get away from me; the strap held it.
Then went out on the balcony and took this picture. Not that there is much to see other than fog. Hehe!

I went through to the kitchen and checked on Josie’s food progress. Looking good and tasting good too! I reckon the basil helped today.
Just hope Josie likes it.

I went on the blogging duties then and got involved with the Ode Words list again. An hour or two was lost there. Tsk! I  reluctantly had to force myself to stop.

Got the meal delivered to Josie. Who did not mention Betty Bunter today? But did ask me for the umpteenth time if I drink the gin etc. I said no. She added: Whyever do you buy it then? I did mention this time; For the pleasure of sharing and caring, Josie. I got a furrowed brow and an odd sort of ‘He’s nuts!’ look. Hehe!

Then I set about cleaning up the kitchen… and the hot water tap was running cold! So, no shaving for me today… unless it comes back on. Then the fear that I may have left the tap running in the wet room came over me…
The old ticker was beating as I hurried into the wet room – but all was okay in there! Phew!
Back to cleaning the kitchen, which was a bit risky, Accifauxpas-wise. Boiling kettles and saucepans of water so I could clean up was done carefully. and slowly to avoid any spillages.  

I’d filled another waste bag already, so took it to the chute room.
I used a photo from the last time I did this. (Cause I didn’t take the camera with me) It’s getting a regular habit. Dropped the posh-looking collapsible stick, bent down to retrieve it, and hit my head in the cast-iron chute lid. I merely laughed off the pained head, right knee and my feeling a pratt. And skipped back to the flat yodelling.

I got the Porcelain Throne activities done and checked the knee and head the ankle was suddenly stinging. Rubbed some Phorpain gel in the knee, and spot of Germolene on the back of the head, and some Arnica cream on the ankle. I think I got these the wrong way around? The ankles and feet looked pretty good.

Time to get my own nosh now.
Apart from undercooking the veggie burger, overcooking the chips (fries), and the Heinz bean-filled potato croquettes, well; I broke another tooth eating a chip. The undercooked burger gave me the wind and runs. As for the bean-filled potato croquettes, Never again! I still have four of them left in the freezer, so if anyone fancies them and has a liking for eating cardboard, please come and help yourself. But, be warned, a taste rating of 1⅛/10 was given. Mostly mayhap to my lack of culinary skills, though? Guilty!

Went to get the pots washed, but the hot water was barely warm again. Hell of a dangerous job having to heat water in the kettle and saucepan to use. And how do I go on in trying to shave? I’d assumed the water would get heated again by now, but no! I didn’t shave yesterday, so must do it tonight somehow.

Cassie woke me up. I was deep in sleep and dreaming. Of a cyber-friend, Billum. He was at a laptop using a slide rule and kept cutting his finger? Cassie got the medications done and was keen to get away, not that she rushed anything, oh no. She asked if anything else was needed as she approached the inner door. There wasn’t. and I offered her a choice of drinks and nibbles. She only took a Tango drink… I think. Took the waste gag out with her, bless her cotton socks.

I decided to get a stand-up wash and shave and just make the best of shaving carefully. I should not have risked it, really. The water was barely warm still, and each time I refilled the sink, it seemed to be getting colder. When the water was really hot, as it has been for months now, if, or rather when I cut myself shaving, the hot water kept the bleeding down to a minimum. But not today, oh no! I stopped shaving, deciding that the hot water must surely be hot by the morning, and I have the shave then.

I settled to watch a programme on remembering the Twin Towers. But drifted off at the first set of commercials.

Thursday 25th august 2022 – Diary, Cartoons & Ode

Cartoon to start with a laugh!

I didn’t get up this morning because I was already up before midnight. Sweet Morpheus is not happy with me and is withholding his services. Hehe! The Swine! I spent a few hours finishing off the Wednesday blog and got it sent off.
Then the sphygmomanometerisationing had to be tackled. What happened with the Photographicalisationings I don’t know; the first one looks like a terribly bad effort! Well, it was! But, the BP results greatly improved over the last four days. Just look where the cross was placed this morning. ♫Way down♫ – as the Elvis song went! Hehe! I liked that later song of his. Poor Elvis, drugs and beefburgers got to him. Shame!

Right in the amber zone! I decorated the return graph in celebration of the miraculous drop in BP! I saw that the body temperature was way down, and it’s been so good lately. I can’t win them all!

Arrived A little earlier than usual. But the lad saw how tired and drained I was, straight away he picked up on it, and he asked what had happened. I told him about the no-sleep night. He proceeded to get the medications sorted, licked up his bag of treats, and said he was leaving early, so I could get back to bed to try again. So no nattering like yesterday, Tsk! Richard said as he left that he was going out for the day with his Sister, So that cheered me up a bit; he doesn’t get out much, good for him!

I got a landline call come in. It was a lady at the Riverside Centre about tomorrow’s Diabetes Defence lesson. The meeting has been cancelled because the room is not available. ? It’s been rearranged fro next Friday instead. I phoned ILC, Warden (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenführeress and Lap-Top Dancer Deana, and she kindly rang the taxi transport to let them know. ♥

I took this using the Lumix camera, as the Canon no longer lets me take photos. I don’t know what I altered or the wrong selections I made when I pressed the go button; I got a beep-beep-beep, and a red icon flashed. Then the camera turns itself off. I’m in a pickle now as the eyes get steadily worse every day, even using the spyglass. Which is not a good idea! Cause if Cataract Cathy doesn’t get me, PN Pete does, and I’ve already dropped the new-‘old’ Lumix at least three times!

Oh, I forgot the photo of the legs I took earlier. Not a pretty sight. But, then again, they’ve been worse, so they’ll do. At least they were not stinging or hurting much at all.

Made a start on this template at long last. And heard that off unrecognisable noise was back again. Sounds like it’s coming from above. It sounds like a motor running, whining. Still, it won’t stop my sleeping… Sweet Morpheus had done an excellent job of that already. Then, made up this Ode. It took a while.

Odes to Sweet Morpheus…

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Blimus! It’s nearly 17:00hrs – What happened to the day? I think maybe I fell asleep in the computer chair. I certainly hope I didn’t have another Mind-Blank. Oh, dearie me! The day’s done for me now. Weird or what?

I’ll get a meal made then. Humph! The evening Carer is due soon.
I took what I thought was a great photo of the meal on the serving tray. But, yet again this time on the Lumix, the photo is displayed on the viewer window. But in the morning when I got to put the pictures on the computer, this one and two others had disappeared into the either? All a part of the mysteries and enigmas of Woodthorpe Court! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for me to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and baffle me!

Jozeph arrived. Mentioned that I looked shattered, and that cheered me up; Hehehe! He was right, of course. Jozeph sorted the medications and was soon off, kindly leaving me to get some sleep.
I stripped off and got the TV back on to watch a Heartbeat episode. As soon as I felt the eyelids drooping, I turned off the box. And blissfully sank into a welcome deep sleep, Ah!

Greatly annoying but unavoidable; over the next hour or so, I had to get up at least ten times for a wee-wee! Every one of them was of the SSSSAO (Short-Sharp-Sprinkly-Spraying-All-Over) variety. With varying degrees of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling): so cleaning and sanitising were needed on most visits. I was getting somewhat agitated with all the interruptions. And hoped that things would settle soon in the bladder department soon.
After getting resettled in the second-hand, £300 charity shop bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner for about the tenth time, the wee-weeing suddenly stopped. Astounding!
GC sleepAI drifted off into a deep but dream-filled sleep. No specifics about the dreams… but I think I was enjoying them, though. Then…


I woke up due to the pain from Harold’s Haemorrhoids. As my bum hit the edges of the recliner as my body mass was slipping off the recliner!
I managed to stop the humungously overweight clump of a body from leaving the seat fully, But the rear end bleeding was soon apparent. So, up I struggled but made my way to the wet room for cleaning and medicationalisationing of poor Harold’s Haemorrhoids. During this, I did my best to remember the dream again. But no luck. I’d love to have known what I was doing in the sleep that was physical enough to have me out of the recliner? I got my lower rear region cleaned and medicated. Realising I’d lost any chance of getting back to sleep, I decided to stay up. Went to make a brew of Thompson Punjana tea and took this very strange time in the morning photo of the sky from the kitchenette window. Bootiful!

And I got the computer started. A lot of catching up and amending to get done this morning.

I woke up around 04:00hrs; Sat sitting on the computer chair, which is where I’d been sleeping! Ha!

LAST POLITICAL FUNNY

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchcock Today: Thursday 11th August 2022. Diary & Odes

I can’t understand why my Odes have not yet made me famous in the rhyme and poet-master circles. All that effort, too!

———————————–

0605hrs: I rose with thanks for being allowed to get in five hours of undisturbed time with Sweet Morpheus. Passing wind belched and detached my weight-ladened stomached body from the c198 recliner, and off to the wet room, and the . Where I passed the first half-hour of waking. Trotsky Terence had been beaten into submission by Constipation Konrad.
Oh, the agony! I couldn’t even try to do the crossword this morning. (It can take one’s mind off of the suffering sometimes, but not today). Things eventually started moving… a little, then stopped! I counted the crack in the ceiling plaster… same as last time, 36. Now there’s a thought; How can not remember so many things but am almost certain I could remember a silly, pointless detail like that? Back to the pain coping… I had visions of the bloody mess I was going to find when… or if the evacuation is ever completed.
I started talking to the evacuation product (I know, daft as a brush!). My faith was failing. Then I started wot think of the most ridiculous things, like, why have I never been interested in lepidoptery? Who’d have believed I’d end up with Doreen Dementia? Me! The calm one, the organizer, the carer…
The torpedo started coming out, and it was beyond my powers to slow or stop[ it. The pain grew worse and fortuitously. so did the escapage rate, and the last three-quarters of the turd almost flew out with a sickening thud as it landed, blocking the porcelain! 
Ah, blessed relief! I thought it would never free itself. Now to check on any damage done in the procedure!
. After all, that grinding pain and the gigantic, gargantuan torpedo having been slowly, oh so slowly, forced through and out, Harold’s Haemorrhoids had barely been bleeding! A few thin streaks of the old haemoglobin on the toilet paper, that was all. There was even little stinging pain, either! How come? All a part of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me! I suppose!

I got the take, with confidence from somewhere, that the results would not be anywhere as near as scary as yesterday mornings. I just knew not to worry. My EQ, telling me?)
Fair enough, it was still high, but if I remember rightly, it was 36 points less than Tuesdays was.
The body temperature once again was as near to spot on that you wouldn’t notice the difference!

I lost a couple of hours of the morning altogether. I had been doing something as I found later I’d written things on the remember-pad, but it’s in double-Dutch! And the kettle was hot when I went in the kitchen, but I’d not made any tea? Thankfully, these Mind-Blanks don’t happen very often. But they do concern me and are on the list to ask the Doctor about. But can I get someone to call the surgery for me? No! The trouble is, I forget all about it minutes later, until the next instance.

Arrived in a bit of a rush, but he never rushes me, bless him. But it meant quick talking and my missing some comments. But the lad had had a word with Deana about the paperwork he took with him to study and left it with Deana. No point in me keeping it; I can’t read it. He said that Deana will try to call on me later. This is out of sequence, as many other comments will be, no doubt/ I got very Confusion Konrad this afternoon and evening. Deana called later to confirm the booking for the lift with Easy Link. 10:30hr pick-up, to be outside to be collected. Later on, a nice-sounding lady land-lined me to confirm as well. That was nice! ♥

The steam-train building Herbert from the flat above was in fine form all day. No long periods of disruption, I must say. Just the regular clumps and banging, metallic sounds intermingled with some mini-concertos of a tap-tapping nature. Oh, and a cappella: Without orchestral accompaniment.

I just came across this writing on the notepad from hours ago. Any help would be appreciated as to what the heck it was I was recording; thank you. The dashes are undecipherable words: “Delug— 90% temp —– — —- — hoen –stly, —- forced sa–ey. Temp—— 94!” I may find time to have another go at making something out of it. Tsk!

  Now, for the cock-up of the day! If they gave out medals for Mind-Blanks, Forgetting and Insanity, I’d be in line for a gold medal after this incident.
The intercom rang forth: Someone telling me that they had a delivery for me.
❶ But the release button, yet again, did not work to admit the chap. I tried a few times, then said I’ll come down to you.
I had to get some trousers and shoes on, checked the intercom and could see the man still there, and rushed a little too much, and clouted Shuddering-Should-Shirley on the door frame! Agony again!
❸ Got down to the foyer, but no signs of anyone there.
❹ I assumed he had gotten on while I was faffing about to get down to him… Rushing again, I got the walking stick entangled in the lift elevator door. I now have a split-handled wooden walking stick.
❺ Got up to find the man looking around and bags near the flat door.
The man departed, and I started to get the bags into the kitchen. Then it dawned on me when I saw the Co-op label on some foods – I don’t recall making a Co-op order at all. I’ve just had a Morrison one yesterday. And, a few days before that, an Iceland one? Mayhap I did this during my Mind Blank hours?
Well, it had all the things that I might have ordered on the order. I must have made it, stupidly, cause there was not a thing I didn’t already have in stock on this delivery!
I’d even bought some bonkers-costly Mushroom Risotto.
More flipping chips and potatoes, too! I’d even got some more bottles of spring and tonic water!

Just as I was calming down after giving myself a verbal blasting for being so stupid… the intercom burst into like again.
It was another delivery, Amazon. And the Doctor thinks I do not have Dementia ‘properly’? I hope she gets it right when I snuff it, and she has to decide if I’m properly dead or not! Hehehe!
Depression came over me.
The chap had delivered the Lemon Sherbets disinfectants.
No problem with this one. I remember ordering these. I think! No, I did, definitely. Positively. Oh, dearie me!.

The temperature outside reached 92°f.
I gathered together all of the paperwork and reminder notes and what leaflets and letters had come in over the last few days, with the intention of perusing them to see which needed any assistance to read and understand.
.Which didn’t take me long to work out. Cause Cataract Cathy and Dementia Doreen made sure all of them needed some help. Some needed telephone calls; well, Deafness Duncan takes care of that.

Kicked off again. Tap-tapping, morse-code like this time. The stuck-up, toffee-nosed, self-important gentleman varied it for a minute or two; he decorated the tune with some clung-thuds. Kind of him. Ah, tap-tapping is back now.

Getting late now. Aha, ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ just sounded. It was evening who’d arrived. He seemed a smidgeon low to me. I might be wrong. I tried the jokes, my world-famous and light-hearted approach, but I couldn’t get a smile. So I offered the lad a bottle of shandy from the fridge. I had to make do with a half-hearted imitation smile. But that’ll do for me, I thang-you!

I’d like to know what’s making those noises above. They almost sound like he’s sat up there with a stick to keep tapping on the floor? I hope he’s not poorly.

Better get the ablutions done. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I fear leaving it until morning again, with the transport also coming as mercifully, the top man, Nathanial, has told me he will stay behind to talk me through what I missed on the first course. Jolly decent of him, too!
State of the feet before getting the ablutions done here on the left. Off belatedly, to the wet room.
Three days of growth of the beard took some shifting. Only a few nicks. The teeth were painful to clean. Showering went okay, no knocks, falls, or Dizzy Dennis visits. Many many dropsies, mind you. Turned off the shower and dried off.
Yes, well… all were hurtful, to say the least. Germolene, Germoloid, and the worst of the lot… Little Inchies fungal lesion ointmentating! Arthur Itis and Cartilage Kathy were treated to some Phorpain rub.

I took an after-shower shot (Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehehe!) of the pins and plates.
Looking like they had been polished with Brasso or something of that ilk. Haha!

I settled in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously, grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable of, not working, recliner. Put on a Dr Who DVD and was soon sleeping away like a baby – I wee’d myself overnight!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchcock: Wednesday’s Diary & Ode

The moon landing was expensive in terms of costs and men dying…
But had to be done cause of Uri Gagarin…
Space race? The Russians were now leading,
First to the moon, the USA not conceding…
Conspiracists said the films were misleading,
Shadows in the wrong place, the flag was waving…
The trip took 109 hours, 42 minutes, launch to landing,
About the time it took me to get to see Dr Sanding…
Then she wasn’t there, more complex than a moon landing!.

———————————–

Inchcocks Diary

Approx 05:30 hours, I stirred back into life and promptly tumbled out of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep-deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not working recliner. There I was, on my bum, with one leg on the swivel chair and the other bent awkwardly but somehow under the chair. And in a bit of a predicament! I stunned myself for a smidgeon. (Obvious to me that I’d been doing some tossing and turning and edged towards the front of the chair? Can’t recall any dreaming.)
I could sense the wet warm flow of blood in the Protection pants, which would be either Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, or Harold’s Haemorrhoids, whichever or both, the need to get up and investigate, clean and medicate things was causing a bit of a panic in me. (I panic so well!) There was an urgency to my need to somehow get back up and onto my feet…
In my sad, messy manoeuvring painfully, first back on the chair, then onto my feet, I stubbed my same, the same one twice, which with the swollen feet and toes was worse than usual. I slipped my arm off the side of the recliner, getting up. Hitting my chin on the corner arm. No time to mess about, though, and I got Metal Micky, and we hobbled to the wet room. Bit of good fortune here. It was only Harold’s Haemorrhoids that were bleeding. Thus it was far less painful to medicate than the lesion would have been. The toes and chin were enough to keep my attention.
I did notice the vast improvement in the ankle ulcer, though, compared to Tuesday evening’s photo, this morning was much calmer and swollen looking. It must have been around an hour after waking that I started to think the day’s needs through. Food order to do, ask Meridian if they have sorted anything out with the Diabetes session. Get Richards’s treats sorted out. Got to… No, I’d better have a wee-wee first. And what a leak that was! Galore, and one of the longest wee-wees that I’ve ever taken! And they kept coming throughout the day!

The Blood Pressure sphygmomanometerisationing was yet another great set of results: SYS 44, DIA 62 and the Pulse, a smidgeon up, at 91 bpm!   
The body temperature had risen to an almost perfect figure, at 35.1°f.
Interruption: The landline burst forth; it was a very hard-to-hear and understand lady (I think?), from the dentist’s surgery, on Mansfield Road. Reminding me of my appointment next. Plenty of time for me to forget it, though.
I input the BP numbers into the NHS Work-it-out site. (Left graphic wot I sun) It came out the same as yesterday! Don’t know why I made a sad face on it?
I got the computer on to finalise yesterday’s blog and found the SD car was reading again? I swiftly got the few, well, three photos from yesterday that I could not get on done. Then titivated the blog and felt a smidge smug, but what with my luck in waking up and thudding to the floor, I thought it best not to get too confident.

The lad was worn out, and I was his last call. Richard arrived, and I thanked him for getting me some help yesterday, and I flashed him my much better-looking ankles… Hehehe! He warned me that thunderstorms were forecast for this afternoon. I thought it was a lot cooler today. We had a little natter, too and froing, and a laugh or two. This is good then; when he’s not too tired, he can spend a little longer with me, chinwagging. Gave him some treats in thanks, and off he trotted, in much need of his bed.

I am walking much better this morning after the initial waking-up boo-boo! Not having to walk on the heels today shows how the swelling has gone down in the legs and feet.

Although the toes still look like baby ones. Hehe! And, the bruise under the chin has not given me any bother at all! Even Arthur Itis in the knees has calmed done.

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chimed out from the door chime. It was neighbour Josie, returning Sunday’s crumb-covered tray and dishes from her meal. I’m not sure which of us is the worst, Hahaha! The poor gal didn’t look too well. I pointed the walking stick at my feet and said they were much better. Josie replied, “Yes, very good; I’ll try to…” Smiled and wandered back into her flat. I’m not sure who is the worst with Dementia and our lousy hearing. Hahaha! I tried to work out what she thought I had said but without success. Bless her ♥

Noise merchant Herbert from the flat above kicked off with his tap-tapping, the odd thud, and scuffing noises thrown in. He kept it u[ for hours on and off. He must have a special job lined up? Hello, I think he just dropped a box of tools. Ah, the drilling and grating noises have started now; he must be getting on with it, bless him. Back to the tap-tapping again…

I finally got the blog finished and posted off to WordPress. Went on the comments page. I had tons come in. But got them both answered. Then nipped on the WP Reader. Now it is time to get the ablutionalisationing tended to; and check Harolds Haemorrhoids, amongst other ailments. Hehehe! Back soon. Well, I hope to be back shortly.
I’m back. And what a good session that was! Only one teeny-weeny cut shaving on the chin where I ‘Chin-Butted’ the arm of the chair first thing this morning getting back up from the floor after my tumble out of the chair. No toe-stubbing, no Dizzies, I walked into nothing either. I have a mini involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dance while I was shaving, hence, the little nick.
Had a wee-wee (it must have been number twelve of the day at least) and remembered what Carer Richard said when he was checking the use-by dates for me; “I’ve never seen yer with so little in yer fridge!”. So, I investigated and made an order for Iceland. They have no bottled water in stock either. So I ordered some low-cal lemonade. I must keep up with the drinking in this hot weather while the legs and feet retain so much fluid. Coming in the morning twixt 06:00 > 08:00hrs.
As I started prepping the meal, I remembered the last Iceland delivery I’d had last week. The squashed bananas, the leaking bottle of liquid soap, short-dated yoghourt… and of course, there not having any of my beloved No Bull burgers or bread I ordered in stock. And the crap substitutions… I may have made a mistake here…

Had a tin of curried beans that I seasoned with the usual squid vinegar, malt vinegar and Vegan BBQ sauce. Put a part-baked loaf in the oven halfway through cooking. The beans and bread were excellent, but the veggie burgers were terrible; the crispy crumbs were not crisp. How clearly now, after making the order, one remembers one’s self-promise never to trust or use Iceland again! Being low on choices with the low stocks in the fridge, I decided to use up the crap and substituted it with Iceland bean burgers in crispy breadcrumbs.
As instructed, I got my feet up on a chair and sat watching TV. I soon nodded off, but could I stay asleep? Not a chance!

When I gave up on sleep, I took a photograph of the ankle ulcer and feet, and they looked so much improved from how Tuesdays were. The toes remain a bit pudgy. The retained fluid, giving me rock-hard legs, was also reduced.
.
The ♫Oh, Susana♫ tune chimed out, and in walked Valerie. She was a little happier tonight. Got the medications sorted, and I gave her a can of cold orange Fanta from the fridge; she liked that. Val took the waste bags with her on her way out.

I settled down to watch the England Ladies Game v Spain. I’ve never been more proud of an England team since 1966! I wish could have been France we beat, though. That would have been the icing on the cake. We will have to play against Sweden or Belgium, if we get through, France will have to be conquered!

ODE TO SELF-IRRISION & DERISION

I no longer have inspiration and very little gumption,
Life for me is sinking into declension…
Dementia means I’ve little recent memory retention,
Yet sometimes recall things, to my stupefaction…
I’m waiting on the EENT to have an operation,
For my cataracts, called Phacoemulsification,
I persistently wee-wee; and have hypertension.
I’m almost deaf, yet have tintinnabulation?

Arthur Itis, Ankle ulcer, and fluid-filled legs, with many a contusion,
Peripheral Neuropathy, a mechanical ticker, destitution…
I think St Peter should give me restitution!
Should I have been born? Am I a substitution?
Was I meant to be a boy or girl? That’s the question…
Parents named Inchcock, during gestation…
With a man-tool the same size, did my prospect worsen?
Unfortunately, I can’t make past miseries unhappen.

At birth, Mother said, ‘I don’t want it; I was crestfallen…
No wonder, as a youngster, I was so sullen!
Slowly my resistance began to weaken…
I lived on lard sarnies and Iprobrufen…
I asked every adult I met for an adoption,
I ran away from home, I had no option…
I went for shelter from Auntie Gretchen,
She just threw me out of the kitchen!

The next day, I hobbled back home, downfallen…
I got in and spoke, hoping they would listen.
No one knew I’d gone; my life never started to glisten?
My developing years were misery and rotten…
Then Mother was freed from jail; she’d been forgotten…
Laughing and being happy was then verboten…
I left school at 14 and got a job baling cotton!.

Depressed, I considered becoming an anthropophaginian,
There was a week when my life seemed ambrosian!
Matilda was her name, an arithmetician,
Randy? No need to ask her for her permission!.

But she turned out to be a Pinoccohian,
Not only that but an absinthian,
I returned to Nottingham, working as a beautician.

———————————–

.

 

Inchcock Today: Rescued Photos

Due to Trotsky Terence causing me hassle and pain,
The Porcelain Throne visits happened again & again…
Dementia Doreen made my concentration transmundane,
I couldn’t find the camera, my language became profane,
After hours, the location was successfully ascertained…

Some form of hope, I started to regain…
However, they soon went on the wane…
The camera’s SD card had disappeared again!
I searched for hours… no hopes remain…
Doreen Dementia… a permanent bane!.

On and off for a day, I was frantically searching…
Up and down, my emotions ever lurching…
From never-mind to self-hating…
At times, mentally self-fustigating,
My psychological state… was beyond interpreting!

Leaving no stone unturned, I again started SD card seeking,
No luck, so I sorted out the laundry tub to do the washing…
Found the card in my pyjama top’s pocket; amazing!
So turned my attention to sorting the grazing…

I rather enjoyed this vegetarian noshing,
I found myself doing an awful lot of belching?
Fell asleep, to wake up and extrapolating,
Sorting the world out… hypothesising,
Starting with how to stop the MP’s hornswoggling,
But soon found this was too mind-boggling!

Checked on the plates and pins state…
They looked a lot better today, mate!
Nice, when I find summat to appreciate!
One day, I hope to see a little less weight…
A dream, more than a thing to anticipate!.

Better tend to my mornings ablutioning,
Cleaned the teeth, then on to shaving,
Had an excellent slow, steady session of showering,
Then on to the uncomfortable medicationalisationing…

I dried off, oiled and rinsed each earhole first,
Little Inchies fungal lesion done, with a blood-thirst,
Harold’s Haemorrhoids… painfully the worst!
Eye drops, mainly missing, Tsk! A curse!

Accifaupas dressing, an accidental photographing…
Dropped the camera, no damage, so not too vexing,
So, I took another of me posing…
This one came out to my liking,
Smug-Mode developing!

Found a shot of Ice-cream that’s Vegan…

I added some sprinkles, to it…
It gave the bad tooth some jip!
Amongst the contents are turnip?
I’m not bothered, I loved it!

The Blood pressure was well high…
The Body temperature is nigh on perfect!

Morning Car Park Piccies!

This morning’s waking view,
The Porcelain Throne needed going to…
I hit my shoulder as I was going through…
On the doorframe, I think I said thank you,
To Shaking Shoulder Shirley, too!

The evening dawns, is that the right word?
Not that anyone will be bothered…,
Cause later on,
I took these that outshone…
Nicer coloured, better favoured!
Then this beauty, later on

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD

And used it to make this super meal

The highlight was the vegan burgers, each eaten
twixt two slices of Milk Roll bread. The fresh
garden peas, tomatoes, and baby new
potatoes tasted excellent!
A pot of jelly & custard, and delightful
lemon mousse, to round it off!
GORGEOUS! Flavour Rating: 8.5/10

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

My mentality is being steamrollered,
My aims and intentions are steered,
I lose control, it’s time that I surrendered,
Unless I can get help… my brain mended…
My dreams are black & white, yet multi-coloured.
Ideas, plans destroyed or embroidered…
At their conception, logic was avoided,
Minimal new memories are remembered
Dark thoughts are often harboured…
But shortly, into the ether, they are melted,
Intentions and aims cannot be deciphered…
And I made them, I’m just dumbfounded…
Over nothing, I can get easily flustered,
When aims and fears amass and get clustered…
Which reminds me, I must get some mustard!

Inchcock’s Make Them Laugh in Ode Series

Inchcock Today: Monday 6th June 2022, Diary & Ode

Monday 6th June 2022

 Odes to Sanity Part 23⅛th

Being uneducated, I turned to intuitioning…
To replace my lack of logic and reasoning,
Judgements were instantaneous, with no conscious thinking!
No abductiveness, abstracting or even reasoning…
But I had a flair somehow for conceptual thinking?

I was prepared to tackle problems, if nonintimidating,
Usually, I’d end up morbidly confused and panicking,
Thought Storms, I found myself cathecting…
Often ending with my fearing and self-blaming,
Doreen Dementure started visiting; she’s beyond taming!

Finding you’ve missed or got something wrong; is excruciating!
Yet still, when I stray of a topic to start witwantoning…
Searching, no doubt, for comforting, consoling…
To find someone who can help, and be approbating…
A Doctor mayhaps, who is not so abrogating…
But I’m still here alone… and waiting!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY DIARY

Due to my working well into the morning on yesterday’s blog, I didn’t wake up until 07:15hrs. A good job; the Carer didn’t come early cause I’d left the door locked. So, although still in a haze, I had to force my way free of the £300 second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, and get a wash and shave, then dressed. I remembered to unlock the door first.

Despite my rushing, I remembered that I had the J Sainsbury order arriving twixt 8> and 9:00hrs. I didn’t get a single cut shaving and no teeth bleeding (but that was because I forgot to clean the teeth, Hahaha!) I did manage a stubbed toe and a few dropsies.

I got the blood pressures etc., done quickly as I could. Great figures returned, bearing in mind I was hastily hobbling around after getting up so late, trying to get the Health Checks done before the Carer or Delivery arrived. My body temperature was well down, surprising as I was almost sweating with all the rushing about what I was doing? Hey-Ho!

Well gone 08:00hrs and Carer Richard arrived. He was obviously not going to be able to have a chinwag and check the medications in the drawer as he usually does on a Monday because the poor lad had got three extra calls given him for this morning! I slipped him a bottle and a nibble plonk & chocolates in a bag. I make up a bottle of spring water and ass some orange cordial to it and bang it in the fridge to cool for him each day if he comes; nice chap, but under pressure this morning. He still oversaw me as I took the medications; some didn’t even do that. Wishing him good luck, he took the waste bag on his way out. Bless his cotton socks.

At last, I got the kettle on and took some photographs from the balcony.

In the first photo, RVM (Red-Van-Man) in his favourite No Parking, yellow hatched markings. Raining a fair bit!

I noticed some activity, as a silver car arrived and went to park in between the grey and blue vehicles on Chestnut Ways car park. Then backed out again and went down to the end car park (RDM’s area).

And parked opposite RVM, a lot nearer to the entrance. I spotted the deluge of muddy rainwater in the car park as it hurled down the hill in Woodthorpe Grange Park. Can’t blame them as the rain seemed to be coming heavier now.

I went to wash the tea mug as I took this shot from the kitchenette window. Cunningly knocking over the kitchen tools stand as I did so! Another mess to sort out! I think it’s the first time I’ve handled the baster and quick as I picked them up with the picker-upperer since I bought the set. Hehehe! That was donkey’s years ago.

The intercom flashed, and I admitted the J Sainsbury delivery lad. Who threw the food into the boxes, with the bunch of roses going in at the bottom of the box! (I found out later). Tsk! I rescued the flowers and put them in the trolley walker basket to keep them from harm. Can you see the expression on the orange carrier bag handles? ‘The Scream?’ Hahaha!

I got the bows and bags emptied and sorted into various places. Starting with the fridge and freezer products. I’d made a cock-up with the battered Fish & Chips; I thought I’d just ordered chips? I’d also forgotten that I’d got the vegetarian ice cream ordered from JS and have ordered more now from Iceland for