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I fear for most of the day today, I was here, but my mind was far away. I started that-many plans, jobs and needs, but maybe got 10% of them done.
In fact, I lost the plots more often than I retained them. I went way off-track. Let things slip, failed to remember to do things, to think anything out. I lost consciousness in a way and awareness of activities and plots planned and needed. But, do you know, I fretted and got hot under the collar far less than usual!
Right up until around 20:00hrs, and all the worries, fears, shame, self-hatred returned. It was like mental torture, and the Thought-Storms kicked off and stayed with me.
I was aware of the problems all the same, but just didn’t care? If I could buy a drug to put me back into that mode, I would. It was like a new lease on life. I suppose/imagine that Dementia Doreen played a hand in this, but for once, I didn’t mind.
A shame it came to an end, but unfortunately, it’s left me with memory blanks over the last eleven hours. I wonder if Cannabis might help me get that wonderful part-day relief from worry back?
Hey-Ho! This is the best I can give you…
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A terrible night, almost sleepless, yet again. 04:00hrs: Decided to give up on sleeping and get the ablutions done early. No shower, too noisy that early for disturbing the neighbours.
On the 2nd Catheter bag emptying, I was happy to see was Rating 2:Ā Great!
The right ankle ulcer had somehow been hidden from view this morning when I took these shots of it?
But the fatty tissue on the feet and ankle made walking and hobbling a smidgen dodgy all through the day.
But, Although I came close a few times… I avoided any tumbles.
.
Pareidoliaing here with this shot. I see lips and or a mouth in there around the ankle bone? Hehe!
Went into the kitchenette to get the kettle on for a brew of Punjana Signature Blend tea.
The moon and sky looked blue to my eyes, so ~I took a snap of it.
Mede the mug of tea as I went to get the milk from the fridge (Well, that’s where I keep it – Hehe!) I saw how the moon and sky colours had changed in about five minutes?
I tried to get a good shot of it with the craters showing, but couldn’t get it right this morning. I think I took four photos of it, and this one is the best of the selection; on one, I actually caught only half of the moon. That is due to 
, and my nerve-end dying 
. They also caught me out when I was stirring the tea in the mug. Innit gobsmacking how maybe 2fl oz of liquid that spilt form the cup manages to spread itself on your dressing gown, hate counter, and the floor, and miraculously a few drops get into your right slipper? Cleaning that up was no fun.
Ailments 
, 
& 
were all activated by the time I’d got the mess cleaned up and replaced the dressing gown.
Got the Health Check belatedly done from the notepad. Well, this week is a vast improvement on last week’s returns! On the level tab, the L=Low, M= Medium and H= High for each scale.
Just look at the urine colour chart levels. Looking so good at the moment. (Just, mayhap I shouldn’t have said that?)
duties. Not good at all, in several ways:
ā : The time lost waiting for the fully-in-control of 
. I tried to do the crossword while waiting for the action that had come part-way and was stuck rigidly to restart. But 
, 
and 
were making it very difficult to read the clues. So I counted the cracks and cobwebs on the wet room ceiling instead. Cracks 32, Webs 2.
ā”: I gave forth with a convoluted sort of… “Oooohargh… ach, (grinding what few teeth I have left) Ohohoho… Phew!” As the motion finally passed!
ā¢: Then the task of cleaning things up. The water closet was not refilled again. So, I had to fetch water from the kitchen. Not an easy task with a walking stick and carrying basins of water, but I got it done in the end.
ā£: I managed the four trips balancing act, and I got the tank refilled. But, on leaving the room, 
I shoulder-charged the door frame edge again! This encouraged 
to join the other active ailments. I know I shouldn’t have, but I took an extra-strong over-the-counter Ibuprofen painkiller after I realised how bad the level of bother was that was giving me. At one stage, I checked to make sure that the shoulder bone hadn’t been detached from my elephantine, flobby-bodied torso. Hehehe!
Still a cloudless sky out there. It hardly looks like Nottingham usually does from the Detention Cells at Winwood Heights.Ā
I’m in cell-block Woodthorpe Courts. It was a life sentence. You won’t be able to get your medications; The Wardens have told me that they will arrive the next day… on eleven occasions over the last three weeks. I did get part of them, with the usually failed promise that the rest will be delivered or fetched by the Carers tomorrow – again. Naturally, I’m still waiting for them. The NHS seem to be having difficulties getting any a 
. The water in the WC tank is not refilling, so I have to carry water to refill it from the kitchen every time I need to empty the catheter contents or use the . Many an , 
, and tumble. Also, my walking into doors and window-frames are all part & parcel of life in my beloved Woodthorpe Court Cell Block.
Still, it’s much better than them posting/moving me to an ‘Alcatraz’ (Care Home). After I had the stroke, the needed bed space at the hospital, and I@ was dispatched to such a home… and remember many of the events during my 3-month stay. If it wasn’t for Brother-in-Law Pete and Sister Janet fetching clothing from the flat for me, I’d have run out of clothes. So many did not return from the laundry; you would not believe it!
Fair enough, here in the Woodthorpe Cell Block, over the last six months, I’ve lost five bobble hats, four T-shirts, two towels, a dressing gown, pyjamas, and a jumper. But this is nothing compared to the Alcatraz. One week, I sent six items, and I never saw them again! I’m not a lucky person.
The wonderfully healthy-looking colour of the catheter bag’s contents continued to be, well, impressive! great!
I made an Asda order for next week. All went well, but of course, is their habit; there will be price increases and not available to add to the equation and situation.
During the day, Carers Sam, Josef, Jodie and Sam called on me.
In the PM, the sun got through. I took these shots facing the sun, and was pretty pleased with how they came out.
The weariness dawned on me, and my eyes were failing again. This is now a hemerine event. and will be, until I can get at least the cataract operation done and dusted.
That is if I live long enough or the shortages of medications do not see me off first. I can see the headlines now: ‘Old Fart in Nottingham killed by the NHS & Parmascist’ Haha!
This view of the late afternoon clouds was an absolute pareidolia’s delight!
And I found some animals in it, not saying what they were. That’s because, my looking at this now, I can no longer find them. I do feel a right fool! Which is understandable.
Waking up just in time to get these two
shots of the brilliant sunset as the sun fell
out of view over the horizon. ā„
The 
day bag emptying was again almost a perfect colour!.
again.
Carer woke me up. Sorted what med we had in stock. And, of course, no night bags to swap for the day bag on … one day,Ā we may get some.
My estimate would be approximately September 2029. Or am I being over-optimistic in thinking I’ll live that long? Haha!
ā¬ Food Glorious Food ā¬: Got in a bit of a pickle with having to work out the timing of the cooking of this feast. The oven, saucepan and microwave were all used in the preparation.
Sliced crispy roast spuds, boiled spuds, carrots, onions, and beetroot with gravy and soy mince.
I enjoyed this one. And the plain yoghourt with lemon curd added.
Flavour-Rating: 8/10.
But I was grossly disappointed in the lack of sleep again! No pains this time, just wave after wave of Thought Storms. Humph!
Go Forth with hopes of better times to come… Or, not like! Hahaha!
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milling 
Still, it didn’t affect my distinguished looks.Ā Hehehe! 
, 
or by the double-glazed head-butting wound on my forehead. However… conversely, 
, then 
combined to ruin the nocturnal sleeping session on their own. 
arrived. I was so pleased to see him at last. But I was so tired I could not communicate properly. He told me to ring Matron about the leaking papules. Can’t recall much more; I think I kept nodding off while he was talking. Not being rude; just worn out through lack of sleep. I think he said as he left he’ll see me next Monday? A look at the roster later backed this up. Shame, only once a week.
was trying Otto stop me from talking, doing a reasonable job too: That the Carer, who was just out of the hospital with a similar problem, advised me to. I didn’t impress her!
.
.
and/or
, was assisting 
.
AĀ few lonely little clouds…
Flavour Rating: 802/10!
Oh, there was one other break in my sleep I’d forgotten about. I jouncingly, joltingly, and jarringly woke up, positive that someone had come into the flat. Not sure if it was a noise or part of a dream I’d been having, but I was certain someone was in the hallway…
testing, nauseatingly beige coloured, non-working, uncomfortable recliner… if there had been anyone coming in, they would have been about ten-minutes older by the time I got to the hallway. 
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Another mystery photo was taken?
Grand colour urine this second emptying!
Belated first mug of tea. Took this to show you the dank weather
The kettle boiled, and I got the brew made.
The sixth pouch emptying.
Sunset of sorts.
Eighth pouch emptying.
Magnifico!
Last of the imitation meat, thank heavens.
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This is for January 2003
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The morning view… was rather blue
I’d decided, as the Urine colour was so high on the chart.
were coming on again.
Made a brew of Glengettie.
Took these snaps of the strange lighting this morning.
What was the mouse? Has a map on it 
Fantastic wider shot!
A close-up of the sun.
Seem’s the sun is spewing out a monster…
A Genie, mayhap? Hehehe!
An eagle above?
It seems that the dark clouds are trying to extinguish the sun?
I burnt the same spot on the hand as I did last week, taking the tray of spuds out of the oven.
Nice meal!
Made too much again. (I often do that?)
Very bad today.
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I rose, then went to empty the catheter’s wee-wee…
Cor Blimey, Flipping Heck and Fancy That!
Lovely blue hue to the morning view!
Aha, Lord Sainsbury’s delivery, you see…
Baked beans, Four bean soup, Gravy, mint sauce, mixed vegetables, chopped tomatoes with basil & oregano, porridge, and baking soda.
Fresh Kenyan garden peas, Cheese & onion pie.
Aha, the wee-wee looks better.
Bootiful clouds.
Down to the main foyer, had a nosey around…
A look at the notice board…
Then along into Winwood Court through the link passage.
Lost balance as I was pushing the three-wheeled walker through the apartment door. No tumble…
But did trap my hand in the door.
.
Another good emptying colour here.
An eerie side to this one.
Amazing!
The ultimate pareidolia one!!!
Oh, a break in the clouds!
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I really cannot remember much about yesterday.
And urine colouring. Not good at all
Don’t know when or why I took this one above.
Found this one, Richard
This shows how well-coloured and heavy-flowing the wee had been the first thing.
Then this one is what it is like now…
Another earlier shot.
The yopo two notepads are mine, so you can see why I am making a mess of this blog? The bottom one was what Carer Carolynne wrote to remind me after. Carer Jozeph. Calls from unknown people as well, a con here, methinks was being tried.
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. During which, I observed, felt and swore about that agony the sole (Just under the toes) of my right foot was in! Another new ailment had arrived! No name was given to it, cause I pray it is only going to be a temporary one
When I wriggled the toes, only three of them moved? When I stood up, my balance was all over the place, and the pain, just from the one foot, I classed as a 3-rating. Later in the day, it did ease off – until the evening, around 19:00hrs, then it returned? I was hobbling somewhat.
. I hadn’t any idea… the damned 
is not easing off. I’ve got the second assessment tomorrow afternoon at the 
.
, I had an 
. No real harm was done.
and I think it was 
called. The notes on the pad when I got around to doing this bit were of no help at all. A Scrawl!
for ages; cause hours of the day had been lost. I put this on the list to tell the nurse tomorrow.
Damned decent of him.
Anywhere was alright with me
Aha, got some washing-up liquid this week.
And to aid my following the nurse’s repeated commands and instructions. I’d got many bottles of spring water in.
Did the evening medicationings.
Rang to confirm their lift for the afternoon tomorrow. Nice!
Too tired out and stressed to bother making a meal.
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, as it was filling up a bit urgently.
With it being such a small day bag, the smallest ever used; I was concerned that if I failed to check it, an 
could well happen, and the overfilled bag may burst?
I am!
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now. The bag was really heavy and stretched.
I took this picture and then carried on doing yesterday’s blog.
I took this photo.
I thought I heard knocking on the door and found on the floor underneath the letterbox some Ibuprofen and Paracetamol.
Arrived, theoretically, to attach the 
Evening night shot from the kitchen window.
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Chiming from the doorbell, and in walked my mate and 
kicked-
. Finally, nearly two hours after entering the wet room, I started the task of getting dressed.Ā Ā This provided the first 
burst out.
me an age to manage it. Also, no damage to the catheter, tubing, bag or straps, either. So it could have been a lot worse. As I was at my smuggest, the teeth started bleeding. It must have been from when I hit my chin on the trolley? A flaming good start to the day! It must have taken me over two hours to complete the 
!!!
Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana and got the computer going.
Around 16:00hrs, I rang Easy-Link to try and book a lift there and back, but the lady said I must call back in the morning twixt ten & noon. But will I remember to? If I forget, or can’t get through, they are not open Sat and Sundays… Oh, dearie me!
Pareidolia moment with the clouds.
All is well with the Catheter!
Air Fryer was all set up for me!
Blooming nippy out there!
All parked up
Sunsetting shot
Sunsetting shot twenty minutes later.
Got the TV on to watch Heartbeat as I worked on the blog
Baked beans with BBQ sauce, bread rolls.
Deaf with Dementia?
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was in full command of the evacuation again.
Kept guzzling water in hopes that the catheter would not be put back on.
Boxed them for me.
Cupboard bag
Fresh stuff
Full fridge, do you think?.
Tried to ring 
I laughed as the tube went in and through Little Inchy, the urethra, the prostrate and then into the urine-filled bladder. I was nattering away to help them keep calm! They looked rather nervous and kept asking me if I was alright and if it was hurting? Bless ’em.
I burnt the pan of tomatoes, cleaned it up and put another can in the pan.
Arrived, a know-all, snottily superior attituded lad. Self-Self, Self. He asks, “What have you got to tell me, then?” Goes on his mobile and doesn’t listen. And didn’t take the bags with him to the chute on