I woke very late, Carer due, logicality was absent,
Slowly the brain cleared of the confusion and addlement,
I worked out I’d slept for six hours, to my astonishment,
I seemed to have a decent, calm, unruffled temperament,
Yet despite the wonderfully sleeping so well, erubescent,
I felt so tired, weary, it made me think belligerent…
First decent sleep for ages, I should have been verklempt?
The Thought Storms started, they were soon unblent…
As off to the Porcelain Throne, I hurriedly went!
MONDAY 28th FEBRUARY 2022
I stirred, without any jumping awake, around 0640hrs, had the Carer been on time, they’d have found snoring away. Hahaha!
I worked out that I’d been in the arms of Sweet Morpheus for about six hours! Fought off the Thought-Storms, with the aid of needing to use the Porcelain Throne.
I rose up onto my aching for some reason feet and found that Cartilage Cathy had departed from the right knee – which of course should have given me some glee, but, you see… Arthur Itis had returned with a vengeance in both knees! So, hobbling about is going to be a smidge painful today. Methinks.
I wobbled my way to the wet room, sat, and waited… waited some more. Got the crossword book out. Then, still awaiting the commencement of any evacuation movement, I counted the veins on my right thigh. Back to the crossword puzzle, solved about three or four more clues, actually. Not the time for any Smug-Moding. Still not a sign of any rear-end activity!
I knew this was going to hurt, but I had to apply maximum pushing level from within to move the product, which at first came out a smidge, then froze again. I kept giving it some effort, painfully, but it was still a while before things restarted? I began to fear what this was doing to Haemorrhoid Harold. How much blood is already beneath me in the porcelain? The last bit took the monumental endeavour, and I kid you not, had tears forming.
As I stood gingerly up and turned to investigate the contents of the WC… No blood whatsoever! The concrete-like turds had somehow all sank? Only the pain remained. But it was subsiding all the 
time. It eased more rapidly after I’d cleaned things up and applied the precious Germoloids ointment to the rear end. For some 
reason, I felt I could so easily get back in the recliner and back to sleep. And wanted to! Then I liberally applied the Phorpain Gel to both Arthur Itis’s knees and gave it a good rubbing in! Put a dab of Germolene on the arm where I walked into the doorframe yesterday. I didn’t mean to! Hehe! It’s surprising how a nothing bruise like that can hurt? Not that I’m complaining, after the Porcelain Session agony. Even I’ve got to laugh!
Got the computer on, and ♫ Of Susana ♫ rang out. It was the Carer Richard arriving. A good lad, who’s been down a little lately, but I can report that he was his old self again this morning! I don’t mind him coming later cause if I am the 
last call, we usually have a natter after the medications and Alarm wristlet battery checks. I took an anti-Constipation-Konrad capsule and a Docusate sachet drink. I don’t fancy going through that again on the next visit to the Porcelain Throne! There must be people out there that when they need a crap, just go and do it! Painlessly! I have things swapping twixt the extremes every day or so. Constipation Konrad and Trotsky Terence are on a daily challenge to control the bowels! Passing things pain-free would be great for me… but I’m not jealous! Hehehe!
I pressed on with yesterday’s blog and got it posted off.
With getting up so late, the day has vanished before my eyes… it’s flashing by, and such a lot to do yet…
The shower, shaving and Teggie-cleaning, apart from hitting my head on the power-box once again, went very well.
Getting dressed went okay, but the medicationalisationing had its moments of farce. I ended up with
I checked on the end car park… No, the photograph has not been doctored! It really is the red van’s man’s car, parked between the lines, and in the car park, as opposed to his usual blocking the entry/exit on the chevron lines. I wanted to congratulate him, but of course, being whoever he is, he’s parked in the Contractors Only Parking Space. Hahaha! But at least he’s found his way into the car park and not blocking things, so. Well done, mush!
Hello, the intercom is flashing? It was the Wilko delivery. ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ was chiming out from the doorbell when the driveress arrived. A helpful gal, who took the boxes into the kitchen and checked the number of items, blessed her cotton socks. I am a little concerned about the size of the box containing the Air-Cooker. I thought I’d ordered the smallest one? I’m going to struggle to get that on the minimal space available in the kitchenette? Oh, dearie me! It may have to be given away or sold to someone with more room? Still, Carer Richard is calling another da this week, and he has one. In fact, he encouraged me to get one. So, I’ll ask him to open the box to set it up when he calls, or if he hasn’t the time, I’ll ask him to put it in the other room for me, it’s blinking heavy, so it must be a big one… Tsk! I must get something right one day!
I went on Facebooking next to catch up again. Then WP reading. Then comments.
Carer Irana… Iyrana, Irayna… can’t remember her name now… Tsk! I’ll ask the morning Carer. Pretty young thing. We chatted throughout, had a laugh and shared quips. Gave her the blog name. Nice gal, soon had me sorted with the medications. In the A.M., Richard found the new sweet Carer gals name was Isra!
Sorted a meal out. (The photos on the SD would not load again) Baked potatoes, sausages and BBQ sauce. Taste: 7.2/10.
Watched some TV and found myself nodding off, so I gave up and got my head down, about midnight.
Ode to an Odd Day…
At times it went rather abysmally…
With the rare usual periods, delusionally,
Moments of it going fantastically…
Mostly though, sort of confusionally!
More than usual, of the farcically!
The Porcelain Throne session, agonistically!
The brain mainly operated dysfunctionally,
But deliveries, Carers were a joy, actually…
The ablutions were unconditional agony,
Constipation Konrad in control, evilly!
Peripheral Pete was acting erratically,
Shakings, shuddering, running free!
The Thought-Storm attacks, aberrantly,
All of these, scary or ambiguously…
Oh, I did sleep well nocturnally!
Carers Richard & Isra were friendly and chatty,
I love a chinwag, someone to talk with me…
Others too natter, Julia, Elena and Charley,
I’ll press on now, somewhat melancholically…
I’ve had days that went more maniacally,
It was also a bad day, neurophysiologically!
It’s Tuesday now…
It’s Tuesday now, March… and I feel garrulous!
My judging the proximity of stuff circumforaneous,
Everything around me seems dimorphous…
Knowing which is which can be vexatious,
Now I’ve gone and got tinnitus!
Poor old sausage! Hehehe!
Gobsmacking! I woke up at 06:40hrs, having had an uninterrupted straight six hours of kip! At last! I think the Hemp capsules, just one at night, must be working! We’ll see! 
As I was hobbling into the kitchen and working out how long I’d been asleep, I cracked the right shoulder against the door frame! The glasses came off, I dropped the empty bottle I was going to refill! Of course, I took in all in good spirits. After respectaclising myself and cleaning up the mess
As I rinsed out the lemon washing up liquid bottle before putting it in the waste bag, the bubbles went everywhere, including up in the air! Got back and reran the tap, but it was no good; the suds had died a death. Shame! Like lightning… well, I hobbled as fast as I could and got the Canon to photograph this min-phenomenon.
It was the nippy, perky, Cheeky Charley Carer. Who told me off for spelling her name wrong. She got the medications sorted out, and we had a little nattering session. During which she took a selfie with the Canon, of both of us! Chose her choice of treats (Back of photo), and off she went, taking the waste bags with her. ♥ You just can’t help liking her!
Ten minutes later, ♫Oh Susana ♫ chimed again. It was the food from J Sainsbury’s. The chap took the bags through to the kitchen for me; that was a nice gesture. As he left, he mentioned that I did not look too good. Oh, I felt okay? The first thing I did was get the potatoes in a cool fark place. See the potatoes above? Sainsbury’s new slogan, 
The food cupboard had room left in them both? And the fridge was looking most positively sparse! Ring-pulls on the peas and chilli were no longer on the cans.
I wonder which overpaid dimwit came up with this Catchphrase-Motto’? Hogwash! Proof of J Sainsbury’s commitment to their new logo.
The intercom buzzed, and I thought the Amazon bleach had arrived, even though their Email said it would be coming twixt 15:00>18:00hrs. But I could see no one on the lobby camera? Mmm?
Eventually, I got the blog almost finished, then realised the time, and had to get the Josie-meal readied and served. So, I did! I’d made far too much. So I put another serving in the grey-lidded pot, so she can have another nibble later on. I have to say, this pork one did taste good when I tried a spoonful! Added the extra tidbits; The G&T, Yorkie bar, Cadbury’s chocolate mini rolls, cheese discs, a pot of Devon custard, and two tiny pots of pineapple jelly desserts. Then in a bid to get it to her before it lost its heat, I plodded out into the lobby and rang her bell. She soon answered the door, making her usual perusal of the meal, asking what is it this week then?
I told her I’d put pork instead of beef in the Chilli-stew this time. And again, she told me I’d have her looking like Betty Bunter. Can anyone remember the Betty Bunter character? I’m sure she was in a comic in the ’50s. The comic title was June! The lads had Billy Bunter and the gals Betty Bunter… not sure I can remember the comic’s name. I’ll have a look on the web for Betty Bunter later. Which I did, here she is! It was Bessie Bunter!
16:40hrs: The Amazon box of bleach arrived. As the deliveryman plonked it on the floor through the door – I thought… this is poor! I immediately had a bit of a panic-station, DEFCON-two warning come 
over me! I didn’t like the idea of the label being on the side of the box. Got it into the kitchenette and used the sharp knife to carefully open it. It was apparent that every bottle had leaked! Good job; it was crap bleach; it had only worked its 
way through the inner box. I had a bit of a kerfuffle as 
Having not long gotten over J Sainsbury’s insulting treatment, now it was Amazon’s turn to insult me. Some of the bottles weighed far less than the others; obviously, they had spewed out 
more bleach. Grumph!
Made a long-awaited start on this blog, and an hour or so later, the tune of ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chirped up. I was so glad that Carer Julie came to see to tend to me. 
The Sherwood sunset was not as dramatic as it has been these last few nights, but still a wonderful Mother nature sight to see.
Got the ablutions done and back onto the blogging. It was hard going. There is no bother from DD (Dizzy Dennis), just CC (Cartilage Cathy)
Sister Jane rang, we had a natter. Humph! (Although this might have been on Saturday).
Continued to work on this blog, awaiting the arrival of the evening Carer, whoever that may be. Carer Elena, I think. Wrong again, it was Carer Valerie. On her phone again. No chatting time. Gave me the medications and carried on with her phone call. I tried to get her to turn around to take this photo, but as she was on her mobile chinwagging, she wouldn’t. Hehe!
The whatever they are called on the ends of my fingers on the right hand are getting painful; When they touch anything, including keypad buttons. They look like bits of food. I spent a while trying to scrub them off. Hahaha! I think it is 
specs of blood from under the skin.
I got the belated Health Checks done. Starting with the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, made and manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China. (Okay, as it appeared to me, a smidge high SYS) But not worrying, it’s been a lot higher. No doubt it will droppeth like a stone. Or maybe not. Hehe!
The Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, scarily gave a reading lower than ever at 32.9°c! Nervous of this, I tried the in-the-ear thermometer. 
Just look at those sausages that Jillie did for me! All I had to do was reheat them Bootiful! I must ask where she got them from; these had bits of red peer in them, absolutely perfectly part-burnt, just how I love them. I could get addicted to these, which is fair cause I’m already addicted to Jillie! Thanks again, you Angel! I ate it all up, not a scrap left on the plate. The only thing not so good was the Sugar snap peas from Iceland. They usually get Nigerian; these were Egyptian and nowhere near so sweet. But, as I’d long ago had a 
cuddle and hug with Jillie, it didn’t matter so much. The tomatoes were sumptuous again. I ate each sausage with a slice of the thin, soft Milk Roll bread, dipped into the BBQ sauce. Wunderbar! Taste: 8.9/10
Then I remembered the coming any time now Amazon order. Huh! Went on the tracker site to investigate…
I could still taste the beautiful sausages she did for me. Mmm! I know I took a Hemp capsule cause when I got up for a wee-wee, the bottle fell from between my legs. Hahaha! Which in itself perked me up.
Sweet Morpheus and an excited brain meant it took ages to drop off. The usual first-response, of putting the TV on, searching for something interested showing, and trying to watch it – that sends me typically off at the first set of advertisements. But not tonight… Well, I watched a murder documentary, nearly all the way through, a 2-hour program as well! I needed the sleep that arrived, but of course, it meant missing the last 10 minutes or so of the programme. Tsk! But turning off the TV, and I reckon I was off into dreamland within minutes! I’m sure I had many dreams… likely with Jillie in there somewhere, but I had no recollection of any actual details, just happy thoughts.
Why not pop-over to see Nottingham?
Just asking, like… Not that it bothers me!
I got my head down late, and I fought to nod off until gone midnight. At least I only shot awake twice, well, three times, but I decided to get up then, at 4:30hrs. I was persuaded by Little Inchie, who required a wee-wee. Hehe!
Shuddering Shoulder Shirley was getting a little rough at times; these episodes continued all day, though never for any lasting time, a minute to perhaps five.
Ah, things did get a bit fraught in the teggie-cleaning and shaving departments! I caught the broken tooth, and a bit more came off, and I vampires some of the blood. Hehe! Then, I managed to nick my right ear lobe with a razor, and boy did that bleed too! The tiniest cut imaginable too? I had to use a lot of kitchen towels to soak it up with. And a lot of the Brute aftershave.
A skunk and a clatter from aloof, sniffy attituded Herbert’s apartment above.
Carer Richard rang the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chime and came in. I was in the kitchen, suffering from a longish and violent attack from Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley. I was struggling to stir the tea safely. Good old Richard did it for me. He’s never been here when I was having an SSS session; it fritted him a little at first. He’s a caring Carer. Got the prescriptions taken, had a little natter, and even raised a laugh. Off he trotted after selecting some treats.
I went to make another brew, Thompsons Punjana, this time. By, gum, the sky looked like it was getting darker again? I took a snap from the kitchenette window of the front car park, Chestnut Walk.
I waited a while, hoping some birds might fly by, but they didn’t. 
Had a wee-wee, washed, made a mug of Thompsons Punjana, and made my way out into the balcony. To take a photograph of the end car park.
amazingly calm, so I tried to make the best of this… but I was only causing more errors by trying to rush. Then: 
I came across the picture I thought I’d lost, of last nights’ nosh. Some idiot put it in the wrong folder, TSk! 
Checked the beef chunks in the crock-pot. These are Icelands “Extra Lean” beef chunks, by the way. Just look at the fat floating freeing around! Eurgh! I sieved some off of the mixture, and I added some gravy browning and black bean sauce… fingers-crossed for tonights’ nosh! Looks horrible?
Going to have to rest a bit now. An unfortunate visit from Dizzy Dennis forces this. Made a mug of Glengettie and ate a rather delightful mini-marshmallow, which tasted so good! I s
I nodded off, quickly, and a few minutes later, shot-awake, clambered free of the £300 recond-hand recliner, and off for Porcelain Throne visit number three of the day! Giving myself en route, the first good hefty toe-stubbing of the day! Argh! Ahem! I never flinched… or swore at all.
♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed out again. It was Phlebotomy nurse Hristina! I immediately cheered up. And girded parts of my loins that had not been fortified since the last time she came! Hahaha! I know; I remember needing the tablets.
Minutes later, ♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed out again. Once more, my heart rate increased… for it was desirable Carer Elena, come to do the medications. We had another natter and laughed. thanked her, offering her choice of nibbles and drinkies, she is always reluctant to take any, but I forced her I thin in the end. ♥ She departed, taking the waste bags with her for me to the chute. 🧡
Got the nosh sorted and served up. A bit better this time. The beef chunks that had been heating in the slow-cooker for seven hours or so tasted better cause of the BBQ and chilli seasonings. The black, yellow and red tomatoes were tasty. The fresh garden peas were terrific! The cheese and bean pastie went down well. Rating: 8.2/10. 
A g
I got the medical checks sorted straight away. The body temperature was still too low. But what should I do? It might be the machine? They tell me to ring 999 if it is below 45°c? But it’s not far off this time.
There was no hassle about the Blood Pressure, though, all looking pretty good, with SIA 152. DIA 74. and Pulse at 80. This seemed fair to me. Glad the BP machine was working after my dropping it yesterday.
Into the kitchenette to put the kettle on, and I trod on something small and challenging – I guessed right, it was an escaped garden pea gone rock hard. Hehe! Made me jump a bit! I also found a tablet?
The intercom rang at 06:30hrs, and the Ocado driver brought the bags up to the flat. Nice chap.
Sorted out what’s what and where they are to go. The frozen Heinz Beanz Burgers went in the freezer, along with the battered cod bites and fishcakes with mushy peas in them. Natoora black tomatoes, 
yellow tomatoes, steak pie into the fridge, with some difficulty… Cartilage Cathy was in a right rotten mood with me when I bent to get the bottom tray filled. Cor, blimey, was she! But the bending to pick up the peas and pill might have contributed to Cartilage Cathy’s annoyance. Hehe!
Then I moved on to the third or fourth bag. The black box held 12 mini-pots of M&S fruit and jelly. Which I read when ordering to be strawberry flavoured. They had actual fruit in the jelly, but one of them was the forbidden for me pineapples. On a closer look, they also had seeds in them, which will most likely cause me a toothache. They’ll have to go! I know how to live! I made a bottle of spring water up with some of the lemon and lime cordial for later.
I got some fresh garden peas and lemon and lime yoghourts too. Two favourites there!
I stopped making changes too late and could not work out how to correct things. I went for a break and made a brew of Glengettie, taking this photograph of the morning view, in which I caught some crows on their way to a tree-
top murder in the park. 
Doing the updating of the blog for yesterday and got deeper into a mess of confusion with the computer for an hour or so, and the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang out.
I managed to encourage the picture ap to recognise the photo of the end car park at last. I took it this morning around 08:00hrs or thereabouts. Only just got it on the computer. I’m having all sorts of problems with it now – a case of last legs, methinks? (Me too, Haha!)
05;10hrs: A bit of clunking from the flat above. I made my way to get the clothes and off into the wet room.
I was wrapping the tubing around the casing to replace the sphygmomanometer, and Peripheral Neuropathy Pete gave me a little jerking session. The BP machine ended up 
hitting the radiator and under the desk on the floor. I got the precious picker-upperer and retrieved it. 
A more significant concern then – the body temperature was showing as 33.7°c! Well below the minimum of 35. I tried the ear thermometer, which showed up as ‘Low’. Is it me doing it wrong, machine kaputt? I just don’t know!
Not one of my better efforts, for more than one reason. Here they are: I made far too much
As I was sulking and taking the things into the kitchen to be washed, the sunset was beautiful! 
The top shot I took from the door as I reentered the kitchenette.
So peaceful and serene. I had to force myself to come away… although I did have some encouragement by needing yet another wee-wee. And I’d not been drinking much tea! Bootiful!
You’ll notice my cock-up here, I suppose? Well, I nodded off for a few seconds and it moved onto National news… Tsk!
Ah, Nottingham will get it now, if this forecast is right, we’re smack in the middle of the blue!.
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02:30hrs: I woke and rose this morning, with a terrible foreboding of what is to follow today. Nothing specific, but my EQ warned me that things would not go well. That was all I needed as if I wasn’t low enough to start with!
No-go! I’ve got the meal from last night and some photos I took of the BBC Midland News on the card to use on a snippets blog. I didn’t take any other pictures in anticipation of my luck remaining at the usual level of atrocious.
04:10hrs, I heard some clattering from the flat above, not a lot, and not too bad. 
Upon my way to the wet room with the day clothes, I discovered the reason behind one of the many noises this Monday morning. As I passed by the airing cupboard and tank room, without my hearing aids in, I heard a noise of water running into the tank occasionally; this is accompanied by a comical gurgling sound? I took the camera in with me out of habit, so I took some photos after the session. Hope they can be uploaded with time… He says without much confidence… 
What a near-perfect evacuation that ever was! A smooth flow that needed little effort from me. Not phooey! Not runny, not messy. There was a tiny few bits of blood, but the dark red indicated they were from Harold’s Haemorrhoids, so nowt to worry about there! I moved on to readying the shaving tackle things.
All went well
not so bad
During this procedure, I needed three wee-wees! Sod-it, off again! I hope things calm down soon!
Sphygmomanometerisationing, at last, showed a lower SIA reading on the Blood pressure. Nice! As was the DIA and Pulse results. Then I got the body temperature 
taken. That was a smidge higher for once, close to the red-line minimum of 35°c. But not quite there yet, but it’s good to have near enough not to ring anyone as I have been instructed to.
An hour or so struggling with the slow computer, in getting some photos on at last to use. The intercom lit up and buzzed; it was the Iceland delivery arriving. The chap looked soaking-sodden wet, poor thing when he got to the door. 
He put the bags through to the doorway into the hall for me, only four today, missing items, I bet. Or, mayhaps I curtailed the demands 
this time? (Only 1 item had to be substituted, and two not available) 
I’d ordered the wrong potatoes, I noticed. 
I got a packet of the beef chunks in the slow-cooker. They should be ready for tonight’s nosh. I added some BBQ beef gravy seasoning to the slow-cooker pan and a drop of the liquid smoke – a spur of the moment decision… Mmm… 
Hehehe! I didn’t half-clout my shoulder on the door frame! I felt such a fool! But there was nobody around to hear the slightly unavuncular language that I muttered. I’d done an excellent job on the shoulder; I got inside and took an extra Codeine and back on the computer blogging.
Made some nosh. A decent effort methought, but the flavour did not match the viewing. Taste rating: 7/10. The late dated J Sainsbury’s podded peas let it all down, and I do love them usually, but not these out of date ones.