Ageing humour

Inchy Today: Thursday 24th July 2025

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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I travelled to see the Himalayan wise man, so I ascended,
Hoping for wisdom and understanding to be gained,
At the top, I was mentally and physically drained,
A crackly voice suddenly, clearly clarioned,
In the rockery, a curtain of ether opened,
Was this Himavat, who’d suddenly appeared?
Through a mass of sparks, Satan appeared!
This can’t be really happening, I eluded…
Himavat’s forefinger pointed; Satan disappeared,
What is this I’ve augured, envisaged?
Have I just seen a Motherlode encashed?
I was fixated, yet flabbergasted,
My knowledge was not furthered,
But my mind was flooded,
Fear began to take seed,
As my belief tapered,
My sanity teetered,
The dream was completed!
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Yesterday’s escape from the flat, and I remembered to wear my hat, take the keys, bus pass, bank card, and sunglasses. But I forgot to take the SD card, camera, PIN number, and mobile phone.

I saw things unseen for a year or more… people (apart from nurses, neurosurgeons, ambulance staff, Carers, chiropodists, dentists, Doctors, and, sadly, my bank manager), buses, and the insides of a shop. A reet-treat for me! Carer Ejaz looked after me and my needs well. Thanks, Ejaz.
I’m going to upset the Bank Manager, who has ‘invited’ me to make an appointment with him. I don’t know the cost of Carer Ejaz escorting me to the Sherwood dentist and back yet. But we didn’t have time to do the laundry, clean and mop the wet room and kitchen, let alone address the banking problems. Still, I’m not bothered as I write this. Because;
I’m in a precious but dangerous High-Mode-Horis.
How can I get the laundry done before I run out of clothes, complete the mopping and cleaning, and arrange to see the bank manager, who insists that I take a Carer with me? Thus, the ‘They don’t care, so I won’t. A Sod em all attitude!
Eventually, something’s going to happen that is beyond repairing or too late to correct!
And I’m not bothered! (At the moment, of course) But the moment that returns, and he’s guaranteed to. Panics, fears, worries, and self-lambastings take over. But, not at this moment. Thanks to
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Pictures with the odd comment are all I could manage. Cheers each, and all the bestest!


Decent colour again.

I got the disabled selection moved into the balcony. Now people can get through the door again.

Moods ended up DDDDD dominated!

No rain, no mud slide!

The window cleaner arrived early as I requested yesterday. Soon got the balcony done.

I went onto the balcony, and I can sit and ponder in the four-wheeled walker if I want to.

Took a snap catching the balconies and parked vehicles on Citrus Way.

It went darker much earlier today. It’s not 15:00hrs yet. A sure sign that summer is coming to an end… Sob! Sulk!

Time verification.

Mystery Photo Challenge
What do you think this is?

Oh, ‘eck!

Overall Rating
Darius got a bit persistent in the afternoon,
Giving Horis no chance of a comeback.

A delightful meal of no-butter-buttered cheesey bread rolls, pickled mushrooms, Polish smoked sausage, and brown/green & red a bit, tomatoes. A pot of vegan lemon dessert followed, and then I got a mini ice-cream fruit sucker from the freezer.
I enjoyed every morsel of it. Hehe!

Doing the washing up, I took two quick snaps of the sunset.
I didn’t intend to take two; taking two was decided by Colin Cramps visiting the fingers. Tsk! It must have taken me a minute or more to let go of the camera. Friday, I found eight unintended snaps of bits of the floor in the kitchen. Haha!

I was still a little weary from yesterday’s enjoyable walkabout. I didn’t make it into the bed again, nodding off in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, catheter-tube-trapping recliner.
To the longest sleep I’ve had for yonks! Get ready for this… Seven-Hours! With only about four jumping-waking-ups, courtesy of . I needed that, but I still hoped for another good one tomorrow night as well. I’m not saying I was in a yipedee-do-dar mood when I woke up, but it was close to that.

Time is precious – but sleep is too!

Inchy Today: Wednesday 23rd July 2025

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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WHO IS THIS DESCRIBING?
His tall stories & lies are spinnable,
His oaths and promises are spillable, 
He sees pensioners & farmers as sacrificeable,
Himself as sacral, Holy, and liturgical,
His intended vaguenesses are surreal,
His sausages and hostages could prove problematical,
He is so backhandable, right-wing & corruptable. 
My views, of course, are not scientifical,
As he lied his way into power, I was sceptical.
His lying by omission is all but surgical,
Excellently spiteful, but not sympathetical,
In office, he’s become a supercriminal…
His crimes against humanity are transferential.
His lack of morals rings out indicatively.
He’s ever-ready (not the battery) to be sardonical.
Languages he speaks more than quinquelingual…
Untruths, fibs, lies, treachery, & unbelievable,
Fabrication, devious, distortion, and imaginal,
Hoax, deceit, subterfuge, and hypocritical,
Hot air, nonsense, drivel, hogwash & sanctimonial.
Flannel, falacious, tommy-rot, and tarradiddle,
Deceptive, fallacious, sneaky, and disreputable,
Awkward questions? He begins to quiddle…
This explains the main habits he did accrue.
Just one more clue: His departure is overdue!
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DANGER DAY!
Well, not really. But the angst is already building up at the thought of going out in the wheelchair for the first time. Although this did not happen, after checking the wheelchair, Carer Ejaz was keen to try it out today; he said he had been looking forward to it. I found the right (as you sit in it) wheelchair arm and pole, but it came out too easily. It needed to be erected. Riding on rough ground may knock it out altogether, and I thought it too risky until a Red Cross engineer checked it out. I think they are due on Thursday to do this.
On the visit to take me out, I told Ejaz I’d like to use the 4-wheeled walker. He was okay with this.

The window cleaner came early, but of course, I’d not yet gone out to get some cash to pay him with. He said he’d come again tomorrow, on Thursday. The original date was changed to Wednesday this month. He must have thought I was a dodgy-looking character who might be trying to get out of paying him. Hehehe!

I checked the list of things needed to take with me: Bank Card, keys, camera to buy a new SD card and batteries, and sunglasses in case the sun came out strongly. So, I added the planned route of the tasks required. Ejaz and I are going to the bus stop. We will take the bus to Sherwood. We will use an ATM for cash (It took me two guesses to remember the PIN). We will also call in a shop for an SD card & camera. (This did not happen; Carer Ejaz said he would not have the time if we were going to the dentist.) We went to the Continental shop, and now we have money. I bought some Polish sausages of various types. And some of their green/brown tomatoes from Poland. They were great tasting! Lovely!
We hobbled up the hill in time to get to the dentist for the appointment. It was great having Carer Ejaz with me, getting up the four steps with the walker was a breeze with Ejaz’s assistance. To the receptionist and booked in. I sat searching for the paper list of the things to take and do. I’d left it in the flat. Fancy that!
The Lady came to me asking questions that I could not answer. She and Elaz went into another room, and I heard no more about it. Other than Ejaz telling me when he got back to the waiting room that it would take a little longer, as they didn’t know I couldn’t get up the stairs to my old clinician’s room. This has happened on my last four appointments. I’d have thought this would have been added to my records? 
Later, we were summoned to another surgery. Ejaz was allowed in with me, which was a blessing, because I couldn’t understand what the dentist was saying. Ejaz answered, or told me what she’d asked. She asked me questions as she checked the state of my remaining teeth, and for the sixth time in a row, I wondered if the remaining teeth could be extracted and replaced with false teeth. A negative answer again, this time.
However, she did explain that if I had 8 teeth left that were considered ‘fit for use,’ she is not allowed to remove them all. The new NHS ruling used to be 5 teeth. Starmer passed the verdict to cut costs. So he could later claim that he’d save money.
He’s stolen my fuel allowance, let my rent and electricity prices rise astronomically, and Carer-Costs rise, now, he assured me that will be with me until I die. That won’t be long, cause according to Gypsy Rose Lee, in 1953, she told my Dad; Your son will live to see the end of the world! Dad laughed at the time and moaned about the reading costing 1/3d (5¼p in new money). And, he laughed in her face. Hehe!

It’s a good thing that I still have some of the £599.00 per 100ml toothache pain relief spray.
And part of the bottle of morphine, what’s it… sulphate!
Back to the dentist.
The dentist gave Ejaz a prescription for Durphat 500 toothpaste, and we went to the receptionist to pay our dues and have the prescription validated. I clearly recall that when it came to paying, I handed the cash card nervously over to the Lady, with my hands trembling.

Ejax got me down the four steps with the walker, carefully, bless him. We knew there would be no time left to get the SD card for the camera. Checked the bus timetable at the bus stop, conveniently positioned just outside of my dentist’s. The bus was due in six minutes.

We were back at the flats in no time, 5 minutes.
I showed Ejaz the way through the inner passage link route. Going into Winchester Court, then the link passage into the social room and main entrance, passing ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden and Primo Ballerina, Warden Deana, and
ILC (Independent Living Coordinator) Generaloberstess, Ice skating champion, florist and Warden Julie’s office. Into the next corridor, which led to the lifts in my Woodthorpe Court Prison block… No, accommodation block.
Up in the lift chatting away, to the 12th floor, into the flat hallway and into my flat.
We had a long job, with Ejaz trying to break down the four-wheeler, and ended up putting them in the corner opposite the door. I’ll try to find a better place for them if I can tomorrow. People can’t get in or out of the door while they are there. I’ll see if I can move them into the balcony, then I can use the four-wheeler to sit on and have a nosey. Hehe!

Tired and weary as I was after the trip out, I made a start on CorelDRAW. To use in this blog. But didn’t have the mental stamina.
So, I planned the day’s meal. I decided on corn, beetroot, green tomatoes on cheesy-topped bread rolls, battered onions, and cut up some of the really tasty Zywiecka Polish Cooked And Dried Pork Sausage.
It was delightful!.
Google, gulp, chew, chomp, suck!
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Tired, weary, but for once Contented!
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Inchy Today: Tuesday 22nd July 2025

/ Inchie / 11 Comments

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My plans always seem to get waylaid,
The window cleaner cannot be paid…
Because he’s coming on a different day,
I’ve no cash available to pay,
I would have, if he’d come on the usual Thursday,
I’d have got cash on my way to having dentistry,
I was already feeling a little panicky,
Now he’s decided to come on Wednesday,
Carer Ejaz told me yesterday,
Take just the walking stick. We’ll be okay.
Today, “We’ll use the wheelchair”, dearie me!
Departing, ensure the catheter pouch is emptied,
Teeth to be removed, or will they be delayed?
ATM, SD card shop, camera to be batteried…
All on this Wednesday, a heavy workload,
It’ll be a day of fretting, busy and yauld,
I know things will never go as anticipated,
I should accept these whoopsies acquiescingly,
But, I know things will get uptight, aggravatingly.
What will Carer Ejaz decide on, ambulatorily?
A walking stick, wheelchair, or walker for me?
Will I need some Germoloid from the apothecary?
I now approach tomorrow, apprehensively,
I hope that things go with some amicability,
I hope to avoid any seizures, atrocity, or animosity,
The line above rings in vain, and artificiality,
I anticipate acrimony, albeit abstractedly,
I sense the day will end, sorry, & apologetically,
Additionally, abnormally, & accidentally…
Peripheral Neuropathy Pete Leg Dance, an esrapade,
Wednesday, fears, worries, shame will escalate,
Failures, mistakes to arrive in a fusillade,
But my concerns do not fade,
My uncertainty turns into a gallopade,
It’ll be a song & dance, blended with a harlequinade!
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Today was a mess trying to get as much as I could arranged or done in advance for Wednesday’s upcoming Daymare. I anticipate a blogless Wednesday. This one had to be cut short on Wednesday morning. I only got this far with it.
Short but sweet. Haha!

Carers Medical table.

Carer Ejaz wrote down how to use the texting on the new, unwanted, foolishy bought mobile.

The future price depends on how long Herr Starmer remains in charge of HMG.

End Car Park mud slide.
From the balcony.

Wonderful Nature.

View from the computer.

These are tasty!

Afternoon shot from the kitchenette.

Vegetable stew, or casserole?
Either way, it tasted great!.

Oddly, despite worrying about tomorrow’s dentist, bank, and computer shop to get batteries, SD card, Dizzy Dennis, and Lost-Balance-Brenda in attention, High-Mode-Horis was good to me.

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🤎 Have a Phenomenal Day 🤎
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Inchy Today: Sunday 20th July 2025

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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ODE TO CONCENTRATION KONRAD
One of my ailments is Konrad Concentration…
Not to be confused with Conrad Constipation,
Although both are ace at obstruction and prohibition,
Konrad, in control of memory blocking & recollection,
Conrad, in charge of my back passage obstruction,
Causing pain, and Haemorrhoid Harold’s bleeding,
Conrad swaps with Trotsky Terence often…
Trotsky guarantees a liquid, pongy evacuation,
It reverses the next day, rock hard, tarnation!
Concentration Konrad does not bring physical trusion.
The hassles that come from Konrad Concentration
Are mental, cognitively, unending, in perpetuation,
My responses can vary, sometimes an epiphenomenon,
A byproduct, physiological, needing explication…
Often bringing on self-expostulation,
I think that Konrad’s affects need explaining,
I see the neurosurgeon re. my upcoming trefination…
Not until November; I’ve no trepidation,
Until then, my brain is forgetting & fragmenting…
Frustrated, self-hating, waiting, with some aggression,
There are times that I’m 100% certain,
That something was done right, then became uncertain,
Change my mind again – mental vociferation,
Did I know, then, how if so? Flashforwarding…
These instances can involve anything,
Appointments, dates, and times – do I get fussbudgeting?
Not knowing leads to self-vilification and condemnation,
I am mentally challenged, FND, or maybe a vaurien?
Three years ago, a psychiatrist mentioned verbigeration,
What does it mean? I looked it up, but I’ve forgotten,
I must do it again. Will I? Here’s hoping,
Last night, I gazed out at the gloaming…
Something weird was beginning,
I left my body and floated up to look back down at me…
I was there, but I looked to be about three,
No more memory of what happened, you see,
Suddenly, I was in the hospital having an angiography,
Then back in the wet room, emptying my pouch of pee!
The door chime chimed, rudely waking me,
I wish an oneirocritic would analyse this for me!

BONUS ODE
If a politician lied, can it be called insinuated?
Or, claim it’s proposed, suggested, even adumbrated, 
Can Starmer’s lies by omission be shrouded? 
I think he should be hanged or guillotined,
He’s a reprobate, immoral, degenerated,
SpecSavers, Arsenal, Sausages & hostagers,
To taking backhanders, he is not averse, 
Robbing, fiddling, killing pensioners, & farmers,
Backhanders? Arsenal, glasses, 
For his wife, designer outfits,
Lord Alli gave £500,000+ to Labour over 20 years,
Corporate box: by Arsenal valued at 8,950 pounds,
 40 sets of free tickets during his time as leader,
£698 of Coldplay tickets in Manchester,
£4,000 of hospitality at a Taylor Swift concert,
Accommodation valued at more than 20,000 pounds, Glasses valued at £2,485 pounds,
£4,475 of discounted personal training sessions,
A free £4,500 holiday to Welsh beauty spots,
£5000+ from various gastronomers,
A suggestion of hidden gifts of beverages!
Wouldn’t surprise me to see MP abscotchalaters,
Keir’s not exactly surrounded by MP artificers,
Or honest, reliable HMG inspectrices,
I hope Starmer doesn’t miss any Arsenal fixtures,
Hope the git doesn’t get any snottier,
I hope he gets even more unpopular,
And meets his own assasinator,
If not, he dies of gonorrhoea.
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Catching up.
That’s that done.

Well, look at this…
YEE-HAA!
Mind you, DDDDD took over again
around teatime. Humph!

05:20hrs: I reluctantly dragged myself, still feeling tired out, from the bed.

Got the nocturnal pouch emptied. I took a sample first, so the Carer could grade it later.

I took this snap above of the misty,
but tickling with rain, morning.

Carer Ejaz arrived. Sorted the medications and issued them. Then, the lad performed a body check, applying Cetraben cream to the areas that needed it.
He checked Lymphoreoa Leslie’s leg wound and said he would change it on Monday if it got any worse. I thought it was fine, apart from the neuropathy-driven electric shocks being more regular today. I put this down to the patch dropping off so regularly; Mizra had put tape on it to keep it in place. Ejaz changed his mind and applied a new patch, retaping it firmly in place. Seconds later, the body fluid could be seen leaking under the plaster. As expected, with the tape being tight, but it’s better than the plaster falling off. Don’t worry, the nurse is due on Monday or Tuesday. I’m dreading Wednesday’s medical day. I may have to miss blogs off. But not if I can help it.
Ejaz then creamed the hand injury, & took a photograph of it. It looks a lot worse than it really is in this snap. It’s drying up and scabbing now, which is a good sign, methinks. 

A few hours on the blog, and the food delivery arrived. I retrieved the bags from where they were left in the foyer, carried them to the kitchen, and put them away. Got some garden peas.

I’ll have a super choice tonight.

I did have a bit of an Accifaupas, though.
I caught the hand wound as I
was putting things in the fridge.
Nothing really, wiped it with a tissue,
and it stopped bleeding.

Carer Mizra called, or was it Carer
Akeyo? I’m going out of it again here.

I took another sky shot.

I’ll have to take a stand-up shave and wash now.
Still can’t have a shower cause of the leg.
Back in a bit. I’ll try to rush it (not the shaving
bit). To get it done before the next Carer call.

All done and eaten!

Carer Mizra did the last call. I performed safety checks in the kitchen and fitted the night catheter bag. The lad looked tired; I was his last call.

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Be Good, Be Well, & Bless You!
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Inchy Today: Friday 18th July 2025

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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Ponder the nature of the beast, at its best.
Disposition, personality, temperament, avidest…
It’s bodgiest, boggiest, boldest, bolshiest,
Briefest, brightest, briskest, bristliest,
Crookedest, crossest, crudest, cruellest,
Care needed to identify its cunningest,
You’ll be obliged to despise and detest,
Identify his traits, lies and falseness,
Gracelessness, gimmickiest, at his glibbest,
At his dishonestest, sneakiest, & sleeziest,
Danger in this concealed recreantest,
Dangerous at his dorkiest, this dweebiest!
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A bit darker.

Oddly blue morning sky.

The calendar clock changed.

Worth mentioning (just about);
1. Blood-Test Appointment arrived on Monday.
2. A Community Nurse visited and put on new plaster for Lymphoedema Leslie on the leg. Said she would be back on Monday or Tuesday to check it.
3: Ten minutes later, the plaster on Lymphoedema Leslie’s leg fell off.
4: Carer Mirza, put another plaster on Lymphoedema Leslie’s leg for me.
5: Ten minutes later, the plaster on Lymphoedema Leslie’s leg fell of again.
6: I got the old plaster back on and wound tape over the top of it.
7: Carer Ejaz did a body check, and ointmentated the wound on my left hand.
8: Text message from the Red Cross, a technician will be calling next Tuesday. I think it will be about the wheelchair? Just guessing here.
9. Email referring to the neurology surgery clinic: they will be sending an assessment logistics form to be filled in and returned, and confirming the November appointment at the Neurologic Clinic, 1st floor, Leengate Clinic. They recommend bringing a Carer along with me. 
10. Email from the Dentist, with the usual threats of financial loss and charges if I fail to attend next Thursday’s appointment, or am late arriving. They also suggested I bring a Carer with me.
11. I found I had run out of money. I need to speak with Carer Ejaz to see if I can stop by an ATM on the way to the dentist. This means we won’t have time to do the laundry, cleaning, or financial checks. I anticipate getting into a mess next week with no clean clothing, and even filthier flat to live in, and a call from the bank manager.
12. Aha! A good one! Carer Mizra has got the ringtones on the new phone to change! Much louder. I can hear when anyone calls, now!

Food Prepping!
Hehehe!
Very Tasty!

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Despite today’s problems, Great!
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Inchy Today: Thursday 17th July 2025

/ Inchie / 13 Comments

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Ode to Inchies life-coping…
A dream that is just not happening!
Although he can’t cope, he’s enduring,
But not at the stage of managing,
Struggling, suffering and wrestling…
To be honest, he’s only just surviving,
Inchie overslept again this morning,
Carer Ejaz woke him, with the doorbell ringing,
Got too quickly out of bed, his catheter bag dangling,
Confused, to the door, self-cavilling…
Things happening, memories dissolving…
With his own brain, he was tangling and tussling,
Ejaz: Get back to bed and stop worrying…
Inchies’ wounded hand & leg ointmenting,
He recalls the medication issuing,
Short seizures came, and are still coming…
Following each one, Inchy was worrying,
His actions and mind were disagreeing,
This was not in the least bit assuring,
Then, he left the hot faucet/tap running,
Water was stone cold, so no ablutioning,
Until the water heats up this evening,
It brought to mind more than one other thing,
Several, each liable to be angst-giving,
If things don’t happen, or need adjusting,
A District Nurse should be visiting…
To check the Lymphorroea leg that’s leaking,
Ejaz rang the Dentist about internet form filling,
Got a password to use, some questions were baffling,
He rang again, for clarificationing…
“Come early, before the dentist’s extractions and filling”,
Thanks to Carer Ejaz today, he was very caring!,
A food order came that Amazon were delivering,
Inchy cheered up later, High Mode Horis popped in,
And very welcome he was, Spiffing!
Anne Gyna, much later, came visiting…
A short call, but not nasty or overbearing,
So, compared to earlier, he may not yet be coping…
But he’s certainly feeling better & hoping,
For a miracle, things to go right, he’s praying,
Intent on not doing any more oversleeping,
It’s not alcohol, so he’ll soon be drinking…
Hoping a nurse will call to do the medicating,
Things certainly look better, less depressing,
Temporarily gone are his days of moaning,
Also, I hope his habit of tumbling and falling,
Believe it or not, he’s currently singing,
Despite no hot water yet for his ablutioning,
He’ll stay dirty and smelly, in revulsion!
Can’t feel guilty, he’s not got the compunction,
But, for life-coping, has he got the gumption?
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Morning starts with the memory notes.
Plenty of blanks.

A gentle mist lingers.
Possible thunder, they say.

Food Delivery
No cheesey-topped bread rolls.
So I got a Hovis farmhouse batch.
Yellow mini tomatoes and
Juicy Gammom Ham.
Fridge filled again.
Aha, my favourites, pod peas.
I shelled half of them and got the beer-battered
Chips are all ready to go in the oven.

THE FEAST!

Still misty.

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BEST OF LUCK!
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Inchy Today: Wednesday 16th July 2025

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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– – – To start with, then the plot again – – –
Pecking order, youngest last after those old…
Of course, the youngest was Timothy Gerald,
The thrice bathed in tub; my waiting threefold,
Then to empty it, and give it a scrub,
Then drag outside the massive tub,
Hang it up on the nail on the wall,
Making sure it would not fall,
This was usually when the coal man would call!
Then often the chimney sweeper,
Then, frequently, a debt collector,
I was always nervous to answer…
“When will Mother be in?” I’d say, “Who’s she?”
“Now don’t start messing about, I’m telling thee!”
But I wasn’t messing about or taking the pee,
Just sating what Mother hadtold me…
A different reply for each collector,
The lies and excuses got even more absurder,
I’d sense their determination; if he was angrier…
Next call, I’d hide in the coalhouse or larder,
Keeping the police away was much harder,
Mother, a con artist-crook, but very clever…
In 11 years, the debt collectors were after her,
The police, too, but they never prosecuted her,
Arrested here on occasion, more than a few,
She was released to start her crimes anew…
Finally, she was found culpable, anywho,
Guilty on all charges, there were in total 162,
No, seriously, I’m not kidding you…
How long did they give her in the klink to stew?
Zilch, zero, no time to do!
Just probation! Cause 11 victims gave her references!
Like, “She’d give you her last sixpence!”
Got her a rent-free flat; paid the moving expenses!
Paid half the gas & electricity charges,
No leg pulling, I’m being serious,
She was cunning, clever, crafty and devious,
Even though she’d con anyone, she was audacious,
Liking her offered no alternativeness,
Locally, they admired her nerve; everybody did,
Police Sergeant Elkes, from whom she stole a quid,
The bookie, tradespeople & shops she’d conned,
No jealousy, hatred, or spite was apportioned…
In her direction, someone else got blamed!
The cheek of a monkey; she never felt ashamed,
Despite her faults, she just seemed charmed,
Maybe, with my brain being aberrated…
These events took place, & I wasn’t acerbated,
As for the Vicar’s surplice, well, it was gold-plated!
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Yet another nighmarish busy day!

Didn’t get out of bed until 06:50hrs. Took the night pouch off, as EQ warned me of the suffering that the day would bring me. Marvellous!
Took a morning snap.

Pouch sorted out

Ejaz arrived and had a lot to do to help me today.
Did took the laundry down.
Returned and mopped the kitchen.
Then he hoovered and cleaned it afterwards!
Then went down to move the laundry to the dryer for me. Bless his cotton socks.
Then I noticed that the Lymphorroea Leslie’s leg had bubbles of liquid gathering on its surface. Ejaz took a picture.

Ejaz went down to collect the laundry, and as he went, the door chime chimed. He let in the Gentleman from the City Council Care.
He took a photo of the leg, then brought the new wheelchair into the room and set it up, and I had to sit in it for a fitting. It’s incredibly light and comfortable, too. All set to go!
Ehaz returned, and with two talking, I lost the plot a little. We spoke of many things, but I’m not sure what we discussed. I did tell him about the dentist’s email, I think.
After chatting socially, I liked that! The NCC man had retired, and I feared there was something I had to do, but hopefully it was only to ring the dentist, which Ejaz was about to do. And he did!
He arranged an appointment for next Wednesday @ 14:40hrs. So, whoever comes to do me next Wednesday, can use the wheelbarrow to take me up to the dentist. Wheelbarrow? Fool! I meant the wheelchair.
Made a brew. Ejaz hung the clothes up for me, which was a nice gesture on his part. I was still a little confused about things, and I tried to get a grasp of the dentist’s email. Apparently, I need to fill out a 4-page questionnaire before I can attend the appointment and email it to them in time. Ejaz will ring them in the morning with my new telephone number. Then, try to contact the dentist to complete the four-page questionnaire. Never goes right, does it?
Fingers crossed.
Ejaz took the waste bags with him as he left.
I tried to catch up on the blog. I know, Mission: Impossible?

Smidge of guilt: I had to refill the nibble-holders yet again. I thought I did this yesterday? Have I been nibbling at night or during a seizure?
On Ejaz’s next call, he phoned the District Nurses to ask if I should put a pad on the leg or not. He also took a photo. I’ve likely got the most photographed leg in all the flats over the last few days. Hahaha!
Ejaz did a decent job getting the pad on. Being unsure, we agreed to apply Cetraben rather than the barrier cream under the pad. Looking good! Stinging a bit if I catch it on anything, as is to be expected.

Back on the blogging. I was bothered by this happening occasionally. haviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Do you have any tips on what I’m doing wrong?

Well, I’ll get something to eat sorted.

Ah, Carer Mizra arrived. Looking tired, I’m his last call. A nice lad.

🤎 TTFN 🤎

Inchy Today: Tuesday 15th July 2025

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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It’s not easy being Arithmaphobical,
Worse with an infected mind, that’s illogical,
Learn to meditate, and converse with the demonical,
My Carer suggested it, I thought he was being comical,
I thought Gnosticism was a church thing, clerical…
Ejaz said no, it’s more sort of philosophical,
Ghostly communicating, transubstantiational,
What did he mean? “I’m not too intellectual…”
Getting knowledge from the dead, but spiritual,
They teach you how to be sort of resurrectable,
What’s that? “You might, can be made relivable!”,
Resurrection or anastasis may sound laughable…,
So, I set out to gain something magical,
Where to get advice from? I was already sceptical,
Ak, I’ll ask on the next visit from Grim Reaper Ethel,
In her earthly life, she worked in a brothel,
Little me, knowing it may turn out so tragical,
She said she’d send me a dead man’s soul,
It arrived the next day, a soul, but a man’s shoe sole,
An apparition appeared, & leant against the table…
He spoke German, sounded a bit glottal,
It was Wilhelm Bodewin Johann Gustav Keitel,
He’d been belatedly resurrected, & could he gabble!
I said sod off out of my dream, I want to be gnostical,
I’ll not talk to the spirit of a Nazi Fieldmarshal…
He threw a giggle, with his new eyes agoggle,
The grin turned into a smile, went gracious, genial,
I was going to shoot him in his genitals,
Telling me, “Your people will go through hierodule…
For your Herr Starmer will forever rule,
Proving he is a man-made fool and tool,
He apologised for being so hypercritical,
But Starmer is imperishable, & easily corruptible,
I don’t want to be here now, life’s ineffable, 
“Enough, I’ll cut my throat”, I shot him to save him the trouble!”
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Quick Session. Mid-morning things calmed down a bit, but early on, it was one calamity after another!
I even got myself in a muddle, trying to cope and sort things out. A terrible morning to get up late again, as it worked out. I’ll concentrate on the early duff-stuff. Or do I mean the late stuff?

Got to bed at half-past-three in the morning. Woke up at 07:00hrs. (Rings a bell that)

0712hrs: The ’Blip’ sounded from the new mobile to tell me I’d had a text message come in. I was still struggling to remove the catheter bag, and I carried it to the mobile. Reading the Ocado text message, the phone flashed red while I was still deciphering the text, to tell me that Ejaz was ringing. I dropped the bag… don’t ask me if it leaked; it’s still too painful to think about. Not only did it leak, but the tube also yanked at Little Inchies fungal lesion, and it bled a fair bit, and hurt a bit more. 
Ejaz said the lobby intercom was not working again. I was unsure whether to stop the bleeding, rescue and clean up the pouch mess, or just cry. I did neither, because I had to throw the bag off, quickly stuffing some paper towels in the PP’s, and made my way down to let Ejaz in the lobby. 
I got down to the front door, but could not see Ejaz anywhere. I hadn’t put my coat on, so I didn’t have my keys. I could not go outside to look for him, or else I wouldn’t get back inside. I gave it a minute or two, then went back up to the flat to see if Ejaz had somehow managed to get into the building and taken the lift to the flat. No! 
So I took the elevator back up to the 12th floor. 
No signs of Ejaz. I cleaned up the earlier urine mess and the pouch and then went down to the front lobby again. Still no signs of Carer Ejaz. 
Back up again to the apartment. I was pretty confused by now. Lack of sleep, Colin Cramps. The text message, the urine pouch, up and down in the lift. I got into the flat, and Ejaz was coming out of the flat to find me! It appears that we were missing each other in the lift journeys up and down. What next, I thought… Ejaz and I were saying our ‘Taras” and the Ocado order arrived. Some items were substituted. Carer Ejaz put the bags into the kitchen for me and shot off to his next client. 

I nipped into the Porcelain Throne in response to my innards. Never been known before, the first part of the evacuation was Constipation Konrad in control. Tough to pass, then followed by a Trotsky Terence splurty, liquidish, and even a different colour. Am I losing my mind here, or what? Kharki to dark brown. Honestly!  
I don’t recall taking this shot, yet I remember thinking that the white parts on the Raynaud’s Diseased toes seemed well-developed. Maybe I made another cock-up and put on a photo from another day in error. I know, I know; You can’t believe that muscular, lean, handsome, happy young man of my keen intellect and professionalism could make a mistake. I understand, I’m amazed too.  Hehehe!

Then, I got the food with the substituted products put away. Got the fresh stuff stored first, including the pork tomatoes that were substituted with beef tomatoes. The Silesian pork sausages were substituted with chicken sausages. The drinks to keep the bladder flowing. I try to keep some in the fridge in this weather and fill bottles with spring water or soda water, and bicarbonate of soda just before drinking. The refrigerator was decently loaded up. I rang my friend Jenny about the beef sausage, and she asked her husband, Frank, a wonderful neighbours. She will put them in her freezer and remind me later when I can have them back to dine on. Bless them.

I’m not sure what happened to my left wrist.
It was alright when I had my wash and shave. At least, I think it was.

Oh, and I bought a square, well, rectangular-shaped washing-up bowl from Ocado. I’ll be using it for washing my feet, with some soap, bicarbonate of soda, and Dettol.

The wheelchair I was measured for arrived today. It folded almost flat and fit in the hallway behind the four-wheeled walker chair.
I’m not to touch it until someone comes to fit it properly.
It’s going to cost me in Carers’ fees to get someone to push me about outside. If they have anyone to.
I also received a packet of Marmite Rice Cakes. Blooming tasty!
Sourdough baguettes as well. I’ll have one of these tonight. No-butter buttered, with tomatoes, sausages and potatoes. Or as Herr Starmer might say, hostages. A shot from the balcony was taken when Carer Ejaz came later in and viewed the scene . Taken in the rain, it didn’t last for long, though, just for a few minutes or so. If that long.

Ejaz noticed the leg was seemingly flaring up and was bleeding a bit again. So he cleaned it up, creamed it, and put a plaster on it for me.
It wasn’t hurting. However, it began to itch more as the night progressed.

The Carer is due any time now, last call.
I’ll start preparing the meal of the day.

Nosh.

Carer Mizra. Tired out, poor lad. He got the night back attached for me, and I had some Peptac. Nice lad.

I caught a picture of another shower as the sun was falling.
Tidied things up, computer off, and checked door, electrics and taps. I sat on the bed, pondering over how the politicians and dictators are killing life on Earth… and nodded off.

Waking up, I imagine an hour or so later, with the brain still pondering the suicide of humankind. Aware that it is coming soon, and few people seem to realise it. It is so obvious, but we can do nothing. The return of Jesus foretold is not going to save anyone, or an already dead soul.

I’m in a cheery mood this morning, or am I?
Hehehe!

🤎 TTFNski each! 🤎

Inchy Today: Monday 14th July 2025

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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Most people would welcome adherents.
Friends, advocates, communicants…
Starmer, too, would welcome some believers,
To believe him & his cabinet of liars,
His heartless decisions and concupiscences,
Because he’s lost thousands of voters,
He’s never shown any sparkle or brilliance,
As he formed his oligarch alliances,
His Government shows no congruence,
They seem to be avoiding any conclusions,
He spouts off with his false condolements…
What the voters want, he shows no cognisance,
The messes, notions, he’s no concepts!
He’s to find the missing manuscripts,
Which? Labour core values, so he can readopt?
How come, from prosecution, he seems exempt?
Killed pensioners, farmers, guilty of misconduct,
His actions just make me want to eruct!
Sausage and hostage; one of his better excerpts,
When will Starmer’s erupt & irrupt?
When I see him, I think of a sperm duct!
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04:50hrs: I stirred in bed; I won’t tell you what I stirred… Hehehe! Joke, joke!
As I was taking off and emptying the catheter contraption nocturnal pouch, I went into an ‘Urgent Mode’. As an unavoidable escape of wind from the rear end, backed up by a terrible odour permeating the room, followed by a risky commencement of the evacuation-seeking product of its own accord! In my haste to get to the WC in time before things progressed, I unfortunately fell against the walker’s wheel, then did a decent shoulder charge on the edge of the door frame going into the wet room.
Another darned long session, not passing, but cleaning up afterwards. Sticky, gooey, mega pungent, Light Kharki and straw-like… A right mess! It made it harder with the three-ply toilet paper that I foolishly bought a pack of 12 rolls from Iceland. Tsk! I’ve seen bigger postage stamps!

I went to get a bottle of water that I’d put in the fridge the night before, and Oh, Heck! Water was on the bottom two shelves. Having used two toilet rolls to clean up after the evacuation, I then used two rolls of kitchen towel to dry the fridge. And EQ Inchy’s message was ringing in my head.

I went to empty the day bag, and took this snapshot of it and my leg.
The straps have chaffed the leg a bit. Yet I didn’t feel any pain earlier at all. Mind you, my mind was on other things, I suppose. I went into the front junk room as the sun was coming, and put my legs on a chair and snapped them. Looking much better today. Of course, now that the catheter straps have been moved to be cleaned, they are hurting. Well, that’s life! I’ve just noticed that Raynaud’s disease affected a much larger area of the toes today. When to put the kettle on and go back to the computer. I took this snap from the kitchen window. Carer Ejaz arrived. Boy, was he going to be a saviour in a while? Yes!
Medications were issued, then a body check was done, and areas were ointmentated. I mentioned that I couldn’t find my while serving bowl, and we went to have a search together in the kitchen.
I noticed that the potatoes I’d put in the crockpot about three hours ago were not heating. After a look around, we found that the plug had been turned off! I did feel like a fool. Ejaz reconnected the power, and the spuds began to cook. But nothing compared to a few minutes later. As I was putting seasonings in the newly plugged-in cooker…
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I had an involuntary , vicious torso-based visit from Anne Gyna, and a few seconds later.
I was on my way down to the stone floor; I just couldn’t do anything to stop the tumble, I was muddle-headed and 🎵 Shakin’ all over! 🎵… However, Carer Ejaz dove in and got me in a Mick McManus bear hug, and that kept me from what could have been a serious injury on the concrete floor of the kitchen.
It took me some time to get over this. I don’t understand why, I mean, I’d not gone down? As soon as I was able to walk, Ejaz passed the stick to me, and he walked me to the chair in the other room, bless him. Thank heavens he was here. He’s sorting the medication drawer in this snap. Thanks, Ejaz, as I said, you saved the day! After I began to come back to as near to normal as I’ll ever be, I wondered if I’d had one of those mini-seizures at the same time as the shakes & leg dance? I certainly felt that way after having this humdinger of a dance.

After Ejaz had left, I sat down and spent a few hours working on the blog. I took the snap on the right as I refilled another water bottle.
Then went on the balcony to take a shot of the front car park. As I was coming back in, I felt another Dizzy coming on. I hastened in and got sat down ready… but nothing happened. 

I topped up the happenings reminder notepad. And suddenly,
granted me a visit. I think that the good luck in having Ejaz help rescue me may have prompted him to come out of retirement. I’ve had only a few minutes’ worth of Horis over the last few days. He arrived late in the day today, but was very welcome. That, Sod-em-all mode is Grreat! Even when I can’t see any reason or logic for him to come on. Nothing’s changed, but the relief of breaking up the depression… Yee-Haa!

I was slowly recovering, getting better over time, and this improvement continued at an alarming rate. A bit of rain later on. I took the snap above to the left through the kitchen window. I thought it seemed to have a calming influence. Why? No idea.

Vegetable pastie, boiled potatoes, red onions, tomatoes, Silesian sausage, garden peas & a lemon vegan dessert.
I think the Accifauxpas took a bit more out of me this time, as I was wearied much earlier than usual. Gave up on the computer and tried after eating, tried to get my head down. But sleep would not come. Nothing unusual in this.

I noticed the moon through the tattered, thin old curtains and took a couple of pictures of the setting sun.
The second snapshot was taken as close as the camera would allow. I’m pleased with how it came out; it’s better than my other attempts.

I had two visits today, admittedly only short ones, but it helped the difference with Horis & to be a little narrower. As I say, they were brief attendances, but so sweet and welcome.
,

It is now 02:20hrs, and I’m mega-worn-out mentally, after the shakes & dance dance routine. And physically, after Anne Gyna and Colin Cramps, who are currently in the lead in the daily ‘Let’s Get at Inchie’ competition. Hahaha!

I got as far as here, and it was 03:35hrs. I saved the work on CorelDRAW and WordPress and turned off the computer. I woke up a few times, and on the fifth occasion, I noticed it was 07:00 hours.

Then another face started the morning’s proceedings. After these were sorted, I got onto finalising this blog.
Does anyone else exist like this? Hahaha!

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May Contentment Creep up on You
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Inchy Today: Sunday 13th July 2025

/ Inchie / 9 Comments

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Imagine getting a meeting with Herr Starmer?
A chance for YOU to be the interviewing accuser!
Best to take with you the needed paraphernalia,
Don’t ask him anything that can be a brainbuster,
Don’t mention a hostage, he’ll think you said sausage.
He’ll expect, of course, you to slip him a backhander,
Slip him a bottle of arsenic, labelled as coriander,
He’s so unpopular that he may have a food taster,
Remember he’s killed pensioners & many a farmer, 
Aiding means for innocents to be slaughtered,
He needs to be arrested and charged with murder!
I advise, essentially, you take a loaded Luger,
So when he lies again, you can shoot the bugger!
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I woke up late yet again at 07:00 hours. Took off the catheter night bag. Gathered the accoutrements needed to do the Ablutions & Medicationings.
Settled onto the raised seat, and a motion began almost straight away. 
It was finally (after 15 minutes) fully evacuated, with me having to stand to give the single, gigantic, massive, concrete torpedo room enough space to free itself and fall. What an amazing plumbing system I have; how did that monster go down to the sewer with just one flush? It amazed me. The biggest single evacuation in my life. I was glad when it was over. Unfortunately, while cleaning up my rear end, I felt the blood dribbling down my leg. Time for a thorough cleanup, stopping the bleeding, drying off, and getting Germoloided. It was a struggle to stop the bleeding this time. Internal and external piles had been torn by the monster’s evacuation during his escape. Hahaha! 

At last, I could start washing my muscular, lean, young body… Oh, alright then; My flabby-flobby-bellied, skinny-armed and legged, decrepit, mangled torso. As I began to shave, foaming up, the door chime sounded and Carer Ejaz ghosted by the open wet room door into the main room. I had to put the shave on hold and joined Ejaz in the main room, wearing just my disposable underpants. Ejaz performed a body check and applied barrier cream where needed, including the neck, man-breasts, under the arms, etc.

The legs looked even better today. I admit that
are coming up the leg from the right ankle again, 
However, these only cause me to jump, and the slight pain they cause lasts for only a few seconds.

The sun has come out, then gone in again. Hehe!

A twinge of sadness came as I took this snapshot of my beloved tree copse.
Not a soul about.
Did I mention that the wheelchair is being delivered on Tuesday?

A few minutes after the right leg series , a new ailment showed itself. The top of the left foot keeps throbbing and hurting. It’s been like this for over an hour now. What the heck can it be? Somehow connected to , I assume.

I decided to clean the nibble pots!
So, I did.
Soon got them refilled, though.
Shortcake and Vegan Cookies in one, Worcester sauce-flavoured crisps in the other. Then, put some mini potatoes into the crockpot.

The first recognised seizure of the day came on. One of the short ones that leave you feeling well out of it afterwards. And well out of it, I was. I didn’t feel it coming on this time, caught me out. I managed to close the computer down so as not to rib anything and drifted off into the ether.

WORRYING
I’d started the semi-reclaiming of my senses, dizzy, confused as is usual, and I heard an audible tick sounding just once. It must have been loud because I heard it. I knew to sit still and await some clarity.
As things cleared, I noticed the mobile was showing a red light. Ah! That’ll be a text message coming in. I wasn’t ready for standing up yet, after last week’s getting up too soon tumble. I drifted off into a proper sleep. Bit of a dream… caves, water…
Carer Mirza arrived, and I asked him to check the text message for me… UNBELIEVABLE!
I’d made another food order and forgot about it. Ocado told me I could add to Tuesday’s order, which is scheduled to arrive between 0800 and 0900hrs.
I don’t know what I’ve ordered, but it was for a massive amount of money.
Where can I get help with this? Or is it the Loony Bin next for Inchie?
Mirza issued the medication, and I started to lose cogniscence again. But there were no more seizures as far as I could determine. 

Made up some bladder-filler bottles of spring water with different flavours, and put them in the fridge for morning use.

FOOD

What a fantastic sky!

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It wouldn’t surprise me if Starmer was a Paedophage.
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Paedophage? A child eater (1600-1800)

He’s not too keen on pensioners, farmers, or the proletariat voters either! The Swine!